In short
Podcast Episode Notes: Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Jay Pharoah
Episode Overview
- Title: WWDTM: Jay Pharoah
- Host: Peter Sagal
- Special Guest: Comedian and impressionist Jay Pharoah
- Panelists: Adam Burke, Negin Farsad, Roxanne Roberts
- Recorded at: Studebaker Theater, Chicago, Illinois
Introduction
- The episode opens with Bill Curtis introducing the show and Peter Sagal.
- Peter expresses excitement for the show and introduces Jay Pharoah, highlighting his role as the host of "The Quiz with Balls," a game show where contestants can face amusing consequences for wrong answers.
Contestant Segment
Listener Contestant
Liz from Malvern, Pennsylvania
- Liz talks about the political climate and campaign ads in her swing state.
- The game played with Liz is called "Who's Bill," where she must identify quotes from the week's news.
Key Quotes Discussed
- Donald Trump: Declares he will not participate in a third debate after a record-breaking second debate.
- Panel Discussion: Humor around Trump's antics and the expressive reactions of Kamala Harris during the debate.
- Private Citizen in Space: Jared Isaacman becomes the first private citizen to take a spacewalk.
- Panel Discussion: Skepticism about the novelty of private space travel compared to historical NASA missions, alongside humorous takes on modern spacesuits.
- Apple iPhone Update: New feature allows users to create custom emojis.
- Panel Discussion: The potential chaos of personalized emojis and the implications of AI in everyday communication.
Liz's Performance
- Liz performs excellently, identifying both quotes correctly and winning a voicemail message from the show.
Panel Questions
- Adam's Question: About Vladimir Putin's son being a Disney fan, leading to a humorous discussion about Putin’s views on Western culture.
- Nagin's Question: A fun take on climate change solutions and the surprising environmental impact of food delivery services.
Game Segment
Bluff the Listener
- A game where panelists present absurd stories involving Doritos, and the listener must identify the true story.
- Each panelist presents a wildly humorous scenario involving Doritos, ranging from making mice transparent to using them as cat litter incense.
Emily's Performance
- Emily correctly identifies the true story about Doritos being used in scientific experiments, winning her a prize.
Interview with Jay Pharoah
Highlights
- Discussion about his impressions, particularly of Will Smith and Chris Rock.
- Jay shares humorous anecdotes from his experiences, especially with the unique challenges of hosting a game show like "The Quiz with Balls."
Games Played
- Jay participates in a game called "You Can Keep Your Balls," where he answers trivia questions related to games without balls.
Final Games and Wrap-Up
- The final lightning round of trivia sees the panelists competing for points.
- Roxanne ultimately wins the game, leading to humorous predictions about the future of space engagements.
Key Takeaways
- Humor in Politics: The panelists discuss current political events with a comedic twist, using satire to critique various figures.
- Cultural Observations: The episode highlights the absurdity of modern celebrity culture, from space travel to tech innovations.
- Interactive Engagement: The format encourages listener participation, showcasing the blend of humor and current events that characterizes the show.
Conclusion
- The show wraps up with comedic predictions about future events in space, leaving listeners entertained and engaged.
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This markdown file summarizes the essential details of the podcast episode while highlighting key discussions and comedic moments that make the show enjoyable.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:03From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait Wait No Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I don't carry a big stick because I don't speak softly.
0:19I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you all so much. Thank you. I'm just as excited because we have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Jay Farrow, the impressionist and SNL veteran who now hosts the game show, The Quiz with Balls. That is what it is called. And on this show, if a contestant gives a wrong answer, they are knocked into a swimming pool by an enormous ball. This is a great idea, punishing people for wrong answers, but we have something even more terrifying.
1:04Welcome to the quiz with Bill's. He's right behind you. Nothing will happen to you if you get our questions wrong because you'll be on the phone. The number to call is 1-888-wait-wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Liz calling from Malvern, Pennsylvania. Hey, how are you? How are things in Malvern? They're pretty good. Starting to enjoy the start of fall. Can't wait for all the political ads to end. Oh, I'm sure. Yes. Oh, you've got the swing state blues, I'm sure. Do the ads actually, when you turn off the TV and try to leave, do the ads follow you out of the house?
1:47Yes, I do get about two postcards a day from the campaign. Oh, really? Well, welcome to the show, Liz. Let me introduce you to our fabulous panel this week. First up, it's the comedian and host of the podcast, Fake the Nation. You can see her in Redding, Pennsylvania. in the Muslims Are Coming stand-up show on October 18th. It's Nagin Farsad. Hello. Next up, it's a correspondent for realcitizenkate.com and a comedian who will be appearing at the venue in Janesville, Wisconsin, October 26th. It's Adam Burke.
2:24And finally, one of our founding panelists, a future reporter for the style section of the Washington Post, it's Roxanne Roberts. Hello, hello. So, Liz, welcome to our show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis, of course, is going to perform for you three quotations from the week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose from our show in your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Absolutely. All right. Here is your first quote. There will be no third debate. So, after Tuesday night's events, who apparently is done with debates?
3:02That would be Donald Trump. It would be former President Trump.
3:09After we had the debate between Trump and Biden in the spring, the first and apparently now last debate between Trump and Kamala Harris took place on Tuesday. It broke records for viewership. It's all anybody wanted to talk about all week, making this week a perfect time to announce your illegitimate child if you have one.
3:31Now, Trump hemmed and hawed, but he did finally say on Thursday that he will not have a third debate because he says he did so great in the second one and he doesn't want to ruin it. That's what he said. also, also, come on, given his experience, better safe than sorry, having a third is how he ended up with Eric.
3:57So my parents are visiting me, and so we watched it together. So I was with my immigrant parents. We were just nibbling on someone else's dog.
4:09Is that with mustard or ketchup? It was with a reduced balsamic, actually. We were quite elegant. They've been immigrants here for a while stealing pets, so they know. My favorite thing about the debate was her face. I've taken acting classes, and she was doing the most subtle, the most interesting, like, faces. The communicant. She didn't need to speak. Her face literally said everything. It said, you're an idiot. You're not fit. I'm so much smarter than you. What are we even doing here? Dogs? Why are we talking about dogs? Her face said so many things. It was incredible acting. You're absolutely right.
4:49I mean, it was so amazingly expressive that you know that those facial expressions must have been part of her prep, right? She must have practiced. And after the debate, she was so tired, her doctor has put her on complete face rest. She's on track to be our nation's most memeable president. She really is, yeah. She's dying to be captioned. And of course, as you mentioned, Nagin, to the pantheon of great presidential debate lines, like, there you go again, and you're no John Kennedy. We have to add Trump's, they're eating the pets. It did make history. It's the first racist dog whistle actually about dogs.
5:29All right, Liz, here, believe it or not, other things happened this week. And Liz, your next quote is from someone making history in space. Woo! Smell that? Space. That was a tech billionaire as he became the first ever private citizen to do what in space? Oh, to do the spacewalk. Yes, to take a spacewalk. The first private citizen spacewalk was successfully conducted on Thursday, although it was less, frankly, of a spacewalk and more of a space clutching the side of a spaceship in terror. I'm surprised Trump didn't work it into the debate You know what I mean? We've got immigrants coming in And we've got billionaires leaving the planet
6:14Do you know how expensive that would be For me to call all my friends when they're on Jupiter? The SpaceX rocket was rented by tech billionaire Jared Isaacman Who was also the crew commander That means he paid an extra million for a cool patch He's done it before He's a frequent customer of SpaceX He got an upgrade this time It was nice He got the luxury ship. Yeah, I mean, I guess my whole feeling about these space missions, and we're, like, covering them like new ground is being broken, is that didn't we do this, like, in the 60s? Yeah. So then what are we even talking about? Well, it's, I mean, we have made some advances.
6:52And this is serious. You may remember, if you think about spacesuits, NASA spacesuits, huge, bulky things. These are cool, modern SpaceX spacesuits. They're sleek. They're form-fitting. They are absolutely the most attractive and fashionable outfits ever made that you can poop in. If you could go to space, would you do it? No. Also, I just have zero interest. I don't need to accidentally die. I can see the video. You know why I wouldn't go to space? Because it's full of frigging billionaires. That's all else is up there. What would you even talk about? So what's important about this, this achievement, and they did go higher than anybody has since the Apollo missions, is it's a first step toward normalizing commercial space travel for ordinary citizens.
7:46We are about a decade away from kids having their birthday parties in orbit. And then a few more years after that, from kids complaining that orbital birthday parties are boring. Also, man, you thought destination weddings were expensive now. Exactly. Your last quote, Liz, is a question posed in the Washington Post about a new feature on the Apple iPhones announced this week. How much leeway will we get with eggplants? This new feature will allow anyone with one of these iPhones to create their own what? Is it emojis? It is emojis. This week at their big conference, Apple debuted these newest iPhones, and they come equipped with AI, Apple intelligence.
8:29and among many other things, it will allow you to generate your own emojis, whatever you want, just by describing what you want to the phone. Now, it's kind of a deal with the devil because on the one hand, we all know artificial intelligence, huge energy demands, accelerates climate change. But on the other hand, you can make an emoji of a frog on a pogo stick. Here's the thing. I don't understand emojis now. Like even with the pre-programmed ones, I don't know what people are talking about. I don't need people. Everyone have their own language. Custom emojis, right. You have to decipher. You can also, this is very cool, you can combine emojis.
9:05If you have a complex feeling you want to get across, you can ask for a cowboy and a monkey. You'll get a monkey cowboy. You can combine an eggplant and a peach and it'll give you a baby. So you can like island of Dr. Moreau the emojis. Exactly, that's exactly what you do. And that's like a major benefit of this new iPhone. Bill, how did Liz do in our quiz? Smart Liz started us off with a perfect score. Well done, Liz. Thank you so much. Yay, good job. Thank you. Take care. Bye-bye. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Adam, Vladimir Putin has long railed against Disney, saying Western culture is terrible and that their cartoons are far inferior to Russian ones, so it must make him furious, He has said that, so it must make him furious that the son of what prominent Russian is reportedly a Disney superfan?
10:03I didn't know that he allowed there to be other prominent Russians. That may be a clue. Is it his own son? It is indeed the son of Vladimir Putin. Putin has two young sons with his mistress. Hold for awe. And one of them is reportedly incredibly into Disney, even insisting on dressing up like Disney characters, of course, because he is a Putin. His costume is actually made from 101 Dalmatians. These two sons are not often seen in public. They live with their mother, Putin's mistress, somewhere outside of Moscow. One of the boys is starting third grade, and the one who's really into Disney is just about to go into Kindergulag.
10:58Putin has said that he prefers Russian cartoons. They're very good, like, for example, Tom and the adoring populace who all love Tom. And where in Siberia is the dissident Carmen Sandiego?
11:20Coming up, our panelists take a snack break on our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-Wait-Wait-To-Play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
11:42From NPR and WDBC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Nagin Farsad, and Adam Burke. And here we get as your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-Wait, Wait to Play Our Game on the air. Or you can always check out the pinned post on our Instagram page. That's at Wait, Wait NPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello, Peter. This is Emily calling in from Houston, Texas.
12:21Hey, how are things in Houston? You know, they have been pretty nice the past week in this late summer, but I think they're about to get warmer again. Really? I mean, because Houston, when it gets warm, it gets warm. It gives you a lovely, healthy glow. It does, yes. Emily, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Emily's topic? I didn't know my Doritos could do this. Doritos can do a lot of things. Otherwise, they would call them don't Doritos. This week, we heard about Doritos breaking really new ground. Our panelists are going to tell you about it.
13:03Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Yes, thank you. All right. First, let's hear from Adam Burke. While it seems counterintuitive that Doritos, a food that stains every piece of clothing you own, could make anything disappear, researchers at Stanford University experimenting with the chip's signature yellow number five dye have discovered just that. They began rubbing a tartrazine solution on the stomachs of laboratory mice, which surprisingly isn't illegal, and noticed that these body parts became transparent.
13:37The chemical process alters how light refracts on living cells and may have wide-ranging surgical applications beyond just being a tasty snack in the OR between incisions. Researchers wish to stress human trials are a way off and remind potential volunteers they involve Doritos on the outside of your stomach. A specific chemical found on all Doritos can make mice transparent. Your next story about a hidden feature of Doritos comes from Roxanne Roberts. When influencer Tyler Kala agreed to foster a tiny orange kitten, he named it Dorito, Dory for short, after his favorite snack food. Kala made an adorable TikTok of the kitten playing with a pile of chips, which is when Kala realized that Dory was obsessed and demanded the treats whenever he opened a bag.
14:31The downside? Smelly little kitty farts and smellier kitty poops, which were small but mighty. It became a running joke with Kala's 260 ,000 followers until the day Dory farted and Kala lit a pile of Doritos in an incest burner to mask the odor. Then he tried burning the chips next to Dory's litter box and it eliminated what he says is, quote, 90 % of crappy cat smells. Kala is now selling custom incense burners and a dory candle on Estee, where 10 % of the profits go to his local animal rescue. Best of all, call a permanently adopted dory last month. Aw, a milestone celebrated. Where else? On TikTok.
15:21Burning Doritos is perfect for masking the smell of a litter box. Your last story of something cool you can do with a cool ranch comes from Nagin Farsad. Doritos are known for their bright orange hue inspired by fall foliage and or hazmat suits. And it's also known for its flavor filled dust. The dust is so sticky that after eating a bag of Doritos, it's customary to lick your bright orange fingers. It's also customary to dip into a short depression about your life choices because why did you just eat a full bag of Doritos? But the adhesive qualities of Dorito dust caught the attention of scientists at the Center for Forensic Science in Chicago.
16:03To date, dusting for fingerprints involved a boring non-tortilla chip-based dust. But these scientists found that Dorito dust was five times more effective in revealing fingerprints. They are now beta testing a program in the Riverdale neighborhood of Chicago using the orange dust on forensic cases. So far, the dust has rendered 20 % more fingerprints than the average, with the added bonus of making each crime scene smell like a Super Bowl party. Detective Gerald Gardino said of the program, we are definitely finding more fingerprints than we used to. I just have to remember not to lick my fingers after working a crime scene.
16:41All right.
16:45So let's say, Emily, you happen to have a bag of Doritos. Instead of eating them, you could do which of these? From Adam Burke, extract a chemical from its food coloring and make mice transparent. From Roxanne Roberts, burn it in an incense holder and completely mask the smell of the stankiest cat litter box. Or from Nagin Farsad, use it as a much improved fingerprint dust in crime scene investigations. Which of these is the real new use for Doritos? Well, I love Doritos as much as the next person, but I have got to think that there are some very questionable chemicals in that dust that could very well turn a mouse translucent.
17:31So, I'm going to go with Adam's story. All right. You've chosen Adam's story of the chemical found in every Dorito that, if extracted and rubbed on mice, can make them transparent. And for the Correct answer, we spoke to a reporter who's been on top of the real story. Researchers took a common food dye. A lot of people might identify it with Doritos. And within a few minutes, the skin of the mice transformed. That is amazing. It was also Carolyn Johnson, a science reporter at the Washington Post, talking about the transparent mice made that way by the magic of Doritos. Congratulations, Emily. You got it right.
18:11You earned a point for Adam, and you've won our prize. the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Well done. Yay!
18:34And now the game where we ask people about things they know nothing about. It's called Not My Job. Comedian Jay Farrow became instantly known during his years on the cast of Saturday Night Live as a brilliant impressionist from Kevin Hart to Barack Obama. But now he is appearing in the role of himself as the host of a game show on Fox and Hulu, The Quiz with Balls. Jay Farrow, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
19:02So, first of all, I should say, welcome to the pinnacle of human achievement, the game show host. It's not as easy as it looks, is it? No, no, no. It's not as easy as it looks, and you definitely just have to be able to improv and be able to just think on the fly. I never knew that somebody was going to introduce me and say the quiz were balls after my name. That wasn't something you dreamed of as a child dreaming of showbiz. Not something that I thought was going to happen. It just baffles me and drives my mind to total insanity when I'm in a restaurant enjoying my food and a family will come up to me and say, release the balls.
19:43I'm like, oh, shit.
19:49On the show and in your own comedy, you are known for these astounding impressions. Is there one, like, in your entire roster of people you can do that you're most proud of? The one that I would say that nobody, I'm the originator of it, and nobody had done it like me was Will Smith. And that one is just, that's just one that's, you know, like, you know, that's the one that, you know, everybody, you know, pretty much, like, loves. Because it's not the kind of impression that's, like, just found. You know, it's not like a Hot Pocket. It was more like Tenderloin.
20:36That was... And I'll say... That was a little eerie is what that was. I'll say, I've seen Jay also does a fantastic Chris Rock. So imagine at some point you ended up slapping yourself.
20:54No, no, no. Oh, Jesus. But having those two, when that situation happened, I said, oh, man, God loves me.
21:07You're going to have work for a year. You can do the scene, you know? Oh, man, it was so funny when I was in here reenacting the scene by myself. All right. You got to let us hear it. right if you practice okay everybody's asking me how do you feel man how do i feel i got smacked by the softest man in hollywood okay not freaking good okay okay okay
21:51You know what? I got to say this. Like, you know, I really do apologize to everybody in America and everybody ubiquitously around the world. What I should have done instead of smacking Chris Rock was I should have waited for the commercial break. I got away with the whole situation.
22:21Well, this might be fun, because who knows, you can do this as a group. Jay Farrow, we have asked you here to play a game we're calling... You can keep your balls. So as we have established, you host the game show, The Quiz with Balls. So we thought we'd ask you about games that don't require any balls at all. Answer two out of three questions right, and you will win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Jay Farrow playing for? Shane Brown of Portland, Oregon. All right. Here is your first question. There's lots of games you can play with a Frisbee instead of a ball, but not all Frisbees are alike.
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23:00You could find yourself catching which of these? A, the combat Frisbee lined with razors along the edge. B, Frisbee for dummies, which has an iron coating and comes with gloves lined with magnets. or C, a disc molded out of the ashes of Ed Hedrick, one of the inventors of the Frisbee. Well, I hope it's not the third one. I don't know. I don't know. Kev, what are you? Kev, do you have anything on this? Listen, I will say this. Listen, people, swear to God, tell you this right now. I believe that the answer is B. That's what I think it is. because a lot of people are dumb and a lot of people need to get a stone at your face because maybe it will correct something.
23:49I swear to God. All right.
23:56So are you going to trust Kevin Hart on this, Jay? Is that what you're going to do? I got to trust Kev. I think he knows. He let you down. It was C. It's actually the guy who invented, as part of his will, one of the guys who invented the frisbee, he asked to be cremated and then and he had his ashes mixed in to plastic to make Frisbees that were sold for charity, and they're out there in the world.
24:25This is not something that we'll be throwing around in a black household. No, it's not what I want. Not messing with it, okay? No, you take it down from the wall, and you go, Ed, you want to play? And the Frisbee doesn't complain. All right, you still have two more chances. All right, here's your next question. Cornhole, that's the game popular here in the Midwest where you try to toss beanbags through a hole in a board. We all know this game, right? We've been to tailgates, right? It's very popular here in America, but there are international variants such as which of these? One of these is real.
24:58A, the game of Tejo in Colombia where players throw their bags at exploding targets filled with gunpowder. B, Tramphole in Australia where you bounce off a mini trampoline and try to throw yourself through the hole or C, crick hole in England where the other player can defend the goal with a cricket bat?
25:22You know what? Would Jay-Z help out with this one? Is there something that Jay-Z says a lot that might be the answer? Yeah, basically. You know, now I'm pretty stumped, but after thinking about that comparatively, to the other answers. I would probably say, I'll say A. Jay-Z is correct. That is right. And it's absolutely true. Imagine, imagine cornhole, but if you hit the target, an explosive charge goes off. Boom. It is the second most popular sport in Columbia after soccer. You know, you know what's real, you know, with all the Coke arena that I used to deal with back in the day. Yeah, my intuition spoke for me.
26:14That was the hustler, homie.
26:21It's really weird. All right, last question. Get this right. Whoever you are, and you win it all. Everybody loves to play darts, right? But it's not as easy as it looks. what is a proven way to improve your darts game? A, just closing your eyes and throwing randomly toward the target. B, spinning around four times and then throwing it like a discus toss. Or C, just getting a little drunk.
26:58Now, let me, before I answer this question, I'm just going to say, There was a lot of fallacy that's been spoken. A lot of things. Oh, Lord.
27:18I'm going to go with B.
27:29I'm going to come up to you with tears in my eyes. and say, sir, are you sure?
27:38You shouldn't be crying. Come on, this is a festive time. We're just answering questions. That's all. So I would say that's my final answer, B. Have to say it like a door. For some reason, I've never said this with more pleasure, but you're wrong.
28:01I'm having a lot of emotions here, Jay. The answer is actually C, getting drunk. Studies have proved that just a little alcohol improves your dart game. That's why they play it in bars. But technically, Jay didn't get any of them wrong. He did, Jay. Yes, you walk out of here with a clean record. Bill, how did Jay and his friends do in our quiz? You know, he's a winner, and you're going to leave a winner. Absolutely. Give him a break. It's not your fault.
28:36So Jay Farrow, as you now all know, is an amazing impressionist. He's also the host of Fox's The Quiz with Balls. His new comedy special, Jared, premieres on YouTube September 22nd. Jay Farrow, that was surreal and absolutely a blast. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you.
29:00In just a minute, Bill puts on his dancing shoes for our listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WIT-WIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
29:29from npr and wbez chicago this is wait wait don't tell me the npr news quiz i'm bill curtis we are playing this week with adam burke nagin farsad and rocks and roberts then here again is your host at the studebaker theater in chicago illinois peter sagal thank you bill in just a minute. Bill insists it was a victimless rhyme in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Nagin, do you care about the environment, but you're too lazy to do anything about it? Great news.
30:11NPR reports that you can lower your carbon footprint by doing what? Oh, um, holding in your farts. I'll give you a, I'll give you a hint. It's a seamless solution to the problem of climate change. My feeling about that hint is that ordering food off of seamless? Yes. What? I know. It's a little surprising, but NPR investigated whether either food delivery services like seamless or DoorDash or, you know, of those meal kits that are sent to your home are worse for the environment than cooking for yourself. And they found, much to everybody's surprise, it's actually slightly better for the environment.
30:52Even more, if you go ahead and check that little box in the order that says, please no utensils or napkins, you are now officially Greta Thunberg. See, when you gave that clue, I was going in completely the wrong direction. When you said seamless, I thought it was like being naked all the time. Yeah, I was like no seams on clothes, And the reason is, you might be wondering why, it's because a meal delivered by a food delivery service generates much less food waste than cooking at home. And because a food delivery service combines trips, right, instead of every individual person driving to the grocery store themselves to get food.
31:30It's sort of like a food carpool. So do not ruin it by ordering each chicken nugget separately. I just, I don't believe this at all. This sounds so wrong still. It's NPR. Would we lie to you? Well, other than us specifically. Other than mostly at the show? Yeah, exactly. Adam, the government of China is warning its citizens to be wary of hot people coming on to them because those people may be what? Spies? Yes, exactly right. According to the Chinese Ministry of State Security, there have been increasing reports of foreign agents catfishing Chinese citizens into revealing state secrets. Many pretend to be academics or maybe grad students in order to gain the trust of people who might have access to sensitive information.
32:18It's terrible for your self-esteem. A gorgeous fellow PhD student seems interested in your research. And then the state police come over and are like, not so fast, uggo. But also, what if the academic who they're stealing the secrets from is also hot? That's a good point. Right? So if it's like two hot people, then what does the government say? Avoid or don't avoid? Exactly. And there's another problem, which is what about innocent hot people? Everybody is going to suspect that we're spies.
32:55That's not fair. That's stereotyping. Maybe I just have six pack abs and I'm interested in the dispensation of troops in the Chinese military. Tell me what the secret is. Tell me what the secret is. Tell me what the secret is. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the Contact Us link on the website, waitwait.npr.org. And be sure to check out our sister podcast, How to Do Everything. This week, Mike and Ian tell you how to keep your french fries from getting all soggy.
33:36Hi, you're on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Poppy calling from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Hey, Poppy, what do you do there in Pittsburgh? I work in Medicaid managed care. Okay. All right. That must be exciting. Yeah, sounds like it's a conversation ender. Yeah, okay. Well, what else you got then? I don't know. Well, Peter, I do have a funny story. Please. I once was in a parody sketch of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me in a one-day variety show. No, really? Yeah, yeah. I was attending graduate school at University of Chicago, and we did a one-night variety show, and I got to play Poppy Sagal. I was the host.
34:19No, really? Really, yes. Only because Jay Farrow was just on our show, and I'm thinking about it. Did you actually attempt to do an impression of me? You know, it's not that hard, Peter. It's like...
34:38This is NPR. Nailed it. Yeah. I thought I was talking to myself. That was great. Well, Poppy, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to play? Yeah. Here is your first limerick. Anna Delvey's old cons sure do rankle, but for views, ABC pulls a prankle. After time behind bars, she is dancing with stars with a monitor worn around her... Ankle. Yes, ankle. Anna Delvey, that's the con woman made famous by a Netflix show about her, will be the first contestant on Dancing with the Stars to compete while wearing a court-ordered ankle monitor.
35:32Might get in the way of her move, but when it finally comes off, just think how high her kicks will suddenly be. It's the sort of news that makes you say, huh, I guess we are using a very broad definition of both home detention and also with the stars. I want every week for them to add an accoutrement so by the end she's in that Hannibal Lecter thing with the mask on. This is a handicapping thing? Just kind of wheel around. Here is your next limerick, Poppy. Keir Starmer inspects his new flat. There's a squatter inside who won't scat. He might be too sinister for the prime minister. Larry, 10 Downing Streets.
36:22Cat? Yes, Cat. The new British prime minister, Keir Starmer, is facing a fierce opponent as he establishes himself at 10 at Downing Street. The cat that lives there hates him and his family. It's got to be the biggest story of the week that involves a world leader talking about pets. So this makes Keir Starmer a child-fuel cat leader. Yes, that's right. I was just testing that out. We don't need to enjoy it. Okay. Poppy, you got one more limerick. You're doing great. Here it is. Sometimes kumquats are frugally sized, and our pears look like noodley thighs. We will make ugly fruits look all tasty and cute when we slap on some googly eyes.
37:12I'm sorry, I blew it. Hey! I blew it. I got so into it. It's very hard. I know. I know. So, let me just ask you, Poppy. Let me just ask you, Poppy. Take a random guess. What's the answer? Is it eyes? It is, Poppy. How did you know? What a score. According to a new study, an effective way, this is real, by the way, to get people to buy misshapen produce is to put googly eyes on them. But what does it say about us? that we're more likely to eat fruits and vegetables if they look like people. I wasn't hungry before now, but now I yearn for the taste of human flesh. No, no, no, no, no, no. I think it's like if it has googly eyes on it, it looks goofy.
38:08And you forgive the fact that it looks bad because it's goofy. I can never apply morality to fruit in the first place. Oh, you're alone, Adam. The study focused on so-called ugly produce, which is produce that is completely edible and just as delicious as any other, but it looks funny. Unfortunately, when you do buy this produce, its eyes turn into little X's when you cook them. Bill, how did Poppy do on our quiz? I don't know.
38:48All of a sudden you don't have any answers I got nothing But you know she's already won with two out of three So Poppy my apologies And you're a win Yes you are Poppy Thank you so much Thank you for a dream come true Thanks so much
39:20Now on to our final game. Lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now with two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Nagiv and Adam each have three. Roxanne has two. Okay, Roxanne, you are in second place. That means you're up first. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, Russia launched a major counterattack against blank. Ukraine. Ukraine, yes. On Tuesday, Delta confirmed that no passengers were injured after two planes blanked while taxiing. Collided. Right. This week, residents in Southern California were hit with evacuation orders as three major blanks continued to rage.
39:54Wildfires. Right. On Tuesday, a woman in Nashville was talked off a bridge by blank. Jon Bon Jovi. Right. This week, a man at the Taipei Zoo was bitten by lions after he entered their cage and said blank. Roar? No, he said, quote, come bite me. Oh. Hoping to compete with Target and Aldi, Amazon announced that they were launching a new line of budget-friendly blank. Grocers. Right. On Monday, three new cast members were announced for blank's 50th season. SNL. Right. This week, tourists in the UK crowded around to see the country's newest attraction, blank. Oh. The horrible statue of Queen Elizabeth?
40:31That's right. Okay. All right.
40:36The statue of the late Queen Elizabeth II is particularly horrible because according to everybody who looks at it, it makes the Queen look just like Mrs. Doubtfire.
40:49It is being called an insult to Her Majesty's memory. Some are even calling it for it to be melted down, which sounds great, until the next statue they make somehow makes Queen Elizabeth look like the genie from Aladdin. Bill, how did Roxanne do in our quiz? She did very well. Seven right. 14 more points. Total of 16 is in the lead. All right. I'm going to pick Adam arbitrarily to go next. Here we go. Adam, please fill in the blank. According to Nielsen data, around 67 million people watched Tuesday's blank. Debate. Right. On Monday, Campbell's Soup announced they were changing their name to blank.
41:23Oh. Just Campbell's? Yeah, just Campbell's. Yes, no soup. Just hours after making landfall in Louisiana, Hurricane Francine was downgraded to blank. Tropical Storm? Right. According to a new study, two-thirds of America's blanks don't consider themselves wealthy. Billionaires? Not billionaires. Millionaires. On Tuesday, Foo Fighters founder Blank announced he had a child outside of his marriage. Dave Gold. Right. On Sunday, FX's Shogun set a record by winning 14 creative arts Blank Awards. Emmys? Right. This week, tourists in Seattle crowded around to see that city's newest tourist attraction, Blank.
41:57An even uglier statue of the queen. No, an abandoned cyber truck on the side of the road. This particular cyber truck is in pretty rough shape, which might explain it was abandoned on the side of a busy Seattle street since then. It attracted onlookers who can remember their visit by buying a t-shirt that says, I saw the abandoned cyber truck, and all it did was break my fingers. Bill, how did Adam do in our quiz? Five right, ten more points, total to 13, means Roxanne is still in the lead. All right.
42:31So how many then does Nagin need to win? Seven to win. Count them down. All right. Here we go, Nagin. This is for the game. On Wednesday, both Kamala Harris and Donald Trump were in New York to observe the anniversary of blank. September 11. Right. Amid an ongoing corruption probe, the police commissioner of blank resigned on Thursday. New York City. Right. On Thursday, a Georgia judge dismissed two of the criminal counts against blank. Trump. Right. This week, Asia Wilson broke the single season scoring record in the blank. Tennis thing. No, the WNBA. After being convinced to give the buyer a requested discount on the home he was selling, a man in Miami is suing because he learned blank.
43:07That the house was made of styrofoam. No, that the buyer who wanted a discount was Jeff Bezos. On Monday, police arrested a man accused of stealing four blanks from Australian rower Drew Ginn. Kangaroos? Olympic medals. On Tuesday, Sony angered gamers by announcing an$800 price tag on the newest version of the blank. the new sorry did you did you not expect us to put you through this was this a surprise to you I think there's a slow carbon monoxide there is we need to investigate the metals in this room okay what is I'll do this again on Tuesday Sony angered gamers by announcing an$800 price tag in the newest version of the blank Grand Theft Auto No, the console, the PlayStation.
43:57This week, tourists in Chicago crowded around to see this city's newest tourist attraction. What? Um, a really super hideous version of Queen Elizabeth. No! A see-through plastic purse filled with Lucky Charms hanging on a pole. Despite going viral, no one has claimed this cereal-filled purse which was found hanging from a pole in front of an abandoned muffler shop And despite the mystery, Allnockers say it definitely ranks up there with some of Chicago's other beloved tourist attractions like the late great rat hole and the bean Not the sculpture, just a bean that had fallen out of a burrito Bill, did Nagin do well enough to win?
44:44No No. Three right. Six more points. Nine total. That means Roxanne is the winner this week.
44:56In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict, now that we have seen the first private citizen take a spacewalk, what will be the next first to happen in space? But first, let me tell you that. Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Kodeker writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. A very special thanks and a fond farewell to our friend Nathan Kanapke.
45:24Best of luck in hell. I'm sorry. I mean Hadestown. B.J. Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey and Blythe Roberson. Peter Gwynn insists he has concepts of plans. Our vibe curator is Emma Choi. Technical director is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. our production manager is Robert Newhouse, our senior producer is Ian Chilag, the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, is Mike Danforth. Now panel, what will be the next big first in space? Nagin Farsad. It'll be the first group therapy for billionaires who figure out why they have to go to space in the first place.
46:04Roxanne Roberts. The first Apple store will open on the moon where there will still be a line to get in. And Adam Burke. The first reality show about the people trapped on the International Space Station called The Real House-ronauts of the Van Allen Belt. Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Nige Farsad, Roxanne Roberts, and Adam Burke. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studio Bakery Theater in downtown Chicago. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you may be. I'm Peter Saga. We'll see you next week.
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