WWDTM: Jim Gaffigan

0:00Hey, it's Peter. So we love all you podcast listeners, and we've always wanted to get you a Christmas present, but we couldn't figure out what? Socks? nice pair of candlesticks, then we figured, get you the one thing we know you like, this show. You can get a 25 % discount on tickets to Wait Wait at Carnegie Hall in New York City on December 12th with Paula Poundstone, Mo Rocca, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, and a special guest I can't tell you about, but really want to. To get your discount, go to nprpresents.org and enter the special code just for podcast listeners, NPR 49394. That's NPR 49394. As to how you get to Carnegie Hall, I really have no idea.

0:50From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Frosty, the Anchorman, Bill Curtis. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. It's good to see you again. We have got a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Jim Gaffigan, one of the most successful and prolific comedians in the world. And he has done it two decades now without ever swearing. It's true. Our mission, provoke him enough, so that ends today. Sadly, you will have to obey NPR standards when you call in to play our games.

1:37The number to call, of course, is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant this week. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Lynn calling from Minnetonka, Minnesota. Minnetonka, Minnesota. Minnetonka, I know, is a beautiful western suburb right there on Lake Minnetonka. It's gorgeous. What do you do there? I am a corporate lawyer just trying to stay warm. I understand.

2:04To warm your cold, cold lawyer's heart. Well, welcome to the show, Lynn. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, he's a writer, performer, and co-host of the podcast, Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone, which has a shiny new Patreon page. It's Adam Felber. Hi, Lynn. Hi, Adam. Next, it's the comedian and host of the podcast Fake the Nation, where you can hear the upcoming Godfather trilogy recaps featuring me. It's Nagin Farsad. Hello. Hi, Nagin. And finally, a comedian who will be bringing his cocktail comedy show Shaking with Laughter to Gaelic Park in Oak Forest, Illinois, on January 24th.

2:47It's Adam Burke. Hi, Lynn. Hi, Adam. So, Lynn, you're going to play Who's Bill this time. And Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I am ready. All right. Your first quote is from Parents Magazine, trying to explain the concept of, quote, brain rot. Skibbity, Ohio, ribs. So they say that sentence is an example of brain rot, which is why the Oxford English Dictionary just named brain rot 2024's what?

3:23Word of the year. Word of the year. Yes. This is big news for all of you people who play fantasy lexicography. If you drafted brain rot for the OED's word of the year, you won your league. Now, brain rot describes the condition of absorbing so many online memes through constant scrolling that your brain just doesn't work anymore. Rot, though, that's harsh. Your brain isn't rotten. It's just fall off the bone tender. Is this an example of the fact that brain rot is taking hold, that the OED has made their word of the year two words? Yes. They don't just celebrate it. They have it. Well, when I first heard the term brain rot, I thought it was referring to the worms in RFK's brain.

4:11Right. And then... No, no. And then I realized that by thinking that, I myself have exhibited brain rot. That's true. And besides, if RFK's brain was rotten, the worm wouldn't have eaten it. It has standards. Was that applause anti-RFK or pro-worm? You never know. Pro-worm, I think. Now, this is fascinating. According to the OED, which does, you know, word origins, brain rot was used by Henry Thoreau in 1854. Hashtag Walden Pond, hashtag a different drummer, hashtag life of quiet desperation. He was such a lifestyle influence. He really was. And why are you punctuating your text with all these little pictures, Henry?

5:01I'm obsessed with that, Thoreau. By the way, in case you're wondering, previous Oxford English Dictionary words of the year include goblin mode, which won in 2022. In 2017, it was a youthquake, a word that my brain rot prevents me even from remembering. And of course, back in 2 AD, it was thou. Wait, you're forgetting that last year it was riz, which means this word is already over. like we shouldn't even be saying it right now. So Riz didn't have enough Riz to still be the one. Yeah, exactly. All right, Lynn, your next quote is from President Joe Biden back in June talking about his son Hunter.

5:43I will not pardon him. So what did Joe Biden do this week? He pardoned him. He did. He gave his son Hunter Biden a complete pardon. People say he was acting as a father, not as a president. I don't know. If I was convicted of federal crimes, my father would just say, you know, a little prison builds character. Why some might see this as a little unfair, right, to other people who've been convicted and don't have fathers who happen to be presidents. It's not like Hunter is avoiding punishment. He is currently grounded at the White House with no screen time and no crack time.

6:26I only think it's fair to say this because Joe Biden likes to bring up his Catholic faith a lot in his secular job. But I was raised Catholic, and we're supposed to follow Christ's example. Yes. And Jesus asked his dad to get him off of his little legal contract. And even Jesus' dad was like, trust the process. Yeah, sorry.

6:59There's something fun about this Biden's attitude, well, screw it all, of his last month or so in office. We'd call it his senior slide, but in his case, that sounds like a diagnosis. So he's having fun, Biden. It's really sweet how he brought back Commander the Dog and said, just eat whoever you want. Go. It's my staff, it's your smorgasbord. Go. I know. He could be having so much more fun. Which is kind of a... Why isn't he going nuts? He could. He's never running for anything again. why not enjoy himself? Start an OnlyFans. What are we doing? I'd subscribe. Would you? Come on. Come on. Of course.

7:38Just him doing car noises in his underwear. Eating ice cream. All right, Lynn, your last quote is someone talking about a theme restaurant that was big in the 90s that suddenly all the rage again. The fear that a mechanical elephant might glitch out while you're halfway way through your entree. It's the thrill, the drama. That was somebody describing why they really like to go to this Echo-themed restaurant chain. Which one is it? I believe it's the Rainforest Cafe. It is, yes. This is great news, such a relief. A new report finds that after years of just being decimated, the rainforests are coming back.

8:17No wait, it's the Rainforest Cafe. Sorry. Oh, next best thing. Yeah, I know. People say it's the lungs of the otherwise dead mall. In a year that is seen, Red Lobster, Applebee's, and TGI Fridays all go bankrupt. The surprising survivor is, of all things, Rainforest Cafe. It's known for serving traditional rainforest cuisine, like Creole mac and cheese. It's surging in popularity with both millennials, who are enjoying 90s nostalgia, and Gen Z, who enjoy making fun of millennials. This is true. One of the reasons Rainforest Cafe is surging in popularity is because a couple of YouTubers decided to travel to every remaining Rainforest Cafe in the entire country.

9:02They posted a video about it. It went viral. Another bunch, trying to repeat the success, tried to do the same thing with Waffle Houses, but they died before they even made it out of Georgia. There aren't that many Rainforest Cafes left. Yeah, there's about a dozen or maybe 16 or so. Yeah, there was like a massive deforestation. Exactly. as it were. The Brazilian government did not want those cafes to stand. Yeah, many of them are now palm oil plantation cafes. I've never been to one. I've never been to one. I've never been to one. This is like a great panel for the subject. It's our fault. This is actually, the story of Rainforest Cafe is great.

9:43Now, if you've never been to one, and apparently you haven't, I went to one many years ago with my then young children, and the idea is that it's like inside a rainforest and it's got like this incredibly elaborate displays of animatronic animals and foliage and every 20 minutes or so the rain starts and the thunder and the animals start moving. It's all very creepy and strange and actually at least to my children terrifying which is why we never went back. My question is, is like the Hard Rock Cafe like so mad right now? But nobody apparently has the same nostalgia for like eating next to one of Slash's guitars as they do for eating next to a An animatronic gorilla.

10:18Exactly. Like Slash. Yeah. For example. Because Slash would actually hang out at the Hard Rock Cafe. It wasn't even an animatronic. It was just him reaching over and grabbing your fries. Bill, how did Lynn do in our quiz? He is very good. He got them all right. Congratulations, Lynn. And try to stay warm. Take care. Thank you. Bye-bye.

10:43Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Nagin, a convenience store in Japan, is getting mixed reviews for the new beverage that they're offering their customers. It's drinkable what? It's drinkable bread. No, although it is something that is normally spread on bread. Oh, drinkable cream cheese.

11:11You spread cream trees on bread. Also, all cream cheese is drinkable if it's warm enough. True. That's true. Butter. Drinkable butter. No. Something else that you spread on bread. Peanut butter? Often on sandwiches. What? Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise. Drinkable mayonnaise. Although, you know, all credit to them, but all mayonnaise is drinkable if you just suck in the straw hard enough. Where was this? Japan. You really think white people would have come up with this? Yeah. Yeah. As a white person, I'm a little embarrassed. Okay, you may think, that's what they call their drinkable mayonnaise, sounds gross, but it also tastes gross.

11:54And it looks gross, and for all I know, feels gross, but I'm not going to touch it. Who decided we needed this? Don't have time to eat that BLT before you go? Here, just take along this can of the worst thing about it. I really want to see the television commercials for this. I want to see a bunch of people on the beach, like playing volleyball. Or like, man, I worked up a sweat. Hand me the mail. I'm going to drink myself today. If it kills me. Coming up, our panelists pick up a prescription in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

12:35Hey, it's Peter Sagal. Before we get back to the show, we want to say a big thank you to our listeners. It's because of you that we get to bring on famous people and ask them about very silly subjects. Just this year alone, we've questioned Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen about Antiques Roadshow. Can I phone a friend? You have armed security. You can do whatever you want. Stumped chef and TV host Kristen Kish with Jeff Bezos trivia. God, see, I was really bad at quizzes, and I always did see when I didn't know the answer. So go ahead, ask your question. And asked English actor Gary Oldman about hobby horses.

13:09Have you heard or seen hobby horsing? I have seen it. It's pretty out there. It's pretty out there. Like I said, silly, but we like to think pretty funny. If you already support our work by giving to your local station or signing up for NPR +, we really appreciate it. If you haven't heard of NPR +, well, that's a program especially for our podcast listeners. For a small recurring donation, NPR +, supporters get to hear this and other NPR shows sponsor-free. And you get other perks, too, like bonus episodes and discounted items from the NPR shop. So you get all that with Plus and know you're supporting NPR's mission of creating a more informed public and our mission to embarrass as many famous people as possible.

13:55Just go to plus.npr.org to learn more. And thanks.

14:05From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Nageen Farsad, Adam Felber, and Adam Burke. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Right now, of course, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-Wait-Wait to play our games on the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page, at Wait, Wait, NPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Amy Dunham calling from Atlanta. Oh, so what do you do there in Atlanta?

14:42I work for Habitat for Humanity. You do? Thank you. Now, that, of course, is the nonprofit that builds homes for the people who need them, which is wonderful. And of course, it's famous because Jimmy Carter used to volunteer for them all the time. Did you ever run into him on one of your projects? No, unfortunately, he had retired from public life by the time I started. You know, knowing him, I know he's in a hospice right now, but he still might show up. He is unsigned. We have not rolled it out. Well, welcome to the show, Amy. It's nice to have you here. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction.

15:20Bill, what is Amy's topic? Well, I wasn't expecting that from my drug. Ah, drug side effects, which we all know is those things that make commercials really long. This week, though, we heard about a unique side effect of a pharmaceutical. Our panel is going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the wait-waiter's voice of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I'm ready. All right, let's do it. Let's first hear from Adam Burke. Sevou Satiki, starting flanker for New Zealand's All Blacks National Rugby team, was one of the side's most devastating defensive players, shutting down opponents and once making 85 tackles in one game.

15:59That is until he started taking a homeopathic recipe for a shoulder injury. As teammate Bodhi Acosta explains, it made his shoulder better, but he started to play a little differently. His teammates noted Sevou wasn't as aggressive in defense. Then he'd strike up conversations with the other side in the scrum, says Acosta, referring to those big eight-man rugby huddles that look like rattan made of meat. When team medics took a closer look at the remedies Satake had been taking, they learned it had been linked to huge increases in empathy and compassion as a side effect. By the time we figured out the issue, he was stopping us from stepping on ladybugs on the pitch, says Acosta.

16:39I mean, empathy is great, but not when France is thwacking you 21 to nothing.

16:48An herbal drug makes a member of New Zealand's much feared rugby team not very fearsome at all. Your next story of a little something on the side comes from Nagin Farsad. When kids across Spain were sprouting huge tufts of hair all over their bodies in what is scientifically called hypertrichinosis, but is funifically called werewolf syndrome. Their parents were concerned and jealous because these weren't just a bunch of random kids. They were the children of parents who suffer from baldness. After extensive analysis, and don't worry, the analysis came with the celebrated 2 o 'clock Spanish siesta, they found that a parent in each case had been taking minoxidil, the popular hair regrowth drug.

17:38That's right, the bushy crown dreams of a bunch of balding Spanish dudes led to an uptick in werewolf syndrome, an affliction so rare that it's only been documented 100 times since the Middle Ages. A spokesperson for Minoxidil probably said, hey, we told you the drug works. We didn't say where it works.

18:02Parents and caregivers who are taking minoxidil accidentally make their own babies hairy. Your last unexpected effect comes from Adam Felber. As wildlife levels drop across this great land of ours, one ecosystem that's been bucking the trend is the population of fish, frogs, and waterfowl in the area surrounding Florida's massive, the village's retirement community. And now, thanks to a new study, we know why. No, it's not reduced pollution from those newfangled Tesla mobility scooters, and it's not from all those oldsters feeding the ducks. No, according to the research, the cause for the burgeoning wildlife population is runoff from all that Viagra and Cialis in the wastewater.

18:46The sunfish are fun fish, the horny toads are hornier, and the ducks, well, you get the idea. This unexpectedly virtuous and virile chemical spill is already causing ecologists to stand up and take notice. A proposed senior center near an important headwaters in Washington state now has the full support of the Audubon Society as a means of saving the salmon population. They've even got a slogan to promote senior sex. If you've got game, so will we. All right. So this week, we heard a story about a drug that had an unexpected side effect. Was it from Adam Burke, an herbal medicine taken by a rugby player that made him just too nice and pacifist to play rugby?

19:32From Nageen Farsad, caregivers using minoxidil or Rogaine to grow their own hair ended up growing it on their babies because they kept touching them. Or from Adam Felber, the ED medicines used by the senior citizens of the villages in Florida, leading to a burst of wildlife in the neighborhood. Which of these is the real interesting side effect we heard about in the week's news? I'm going to say something I've never thought I'd say out loud, which is I'm going to go with the Spanish werewolf babies. I'm ashamed to admit how often I've uttered that. All right, you are choosing then Nagin's story of the Spanish werewolf babies.

20:13to see if you're correct we spoke to a reporter covering this real phenomenon it's known as werewolf syndrome and it was connected to baldness medication that was hattie wilmoth she is a food and nutrition reporter newsweek who reported on the real story of the spanish werewolf babies congratulations amy uh you got it right and if you ever start a band, now you have the perfect name for it. You're in a point for Nagin, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice in your voicemail. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much. Well done, Amy. Take care.

20:57And now the game we call Not My Job. Jim Gaffigan has been one of the most successful comedians in the country for more than two decades. He's routinely called... He's often called America's most prolific comedian, which I think is good, yes? His latest special is called The Skinny. It's out on Hulu now. Jim Gaffigan, welcome back to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Good to see you. And speaking of seeing you, congratulations on the new special, The Skinny, and the reason for its title, which is that you have lost a lot of weight as you open up the show with by demonstrating and talking about. Yes. Has that been a positive experience?

21:36Do you like it when people congratulate you on having lost a lot of weight or is it like a mixed experience? Well, there's a certain imposter syndrome because I use an appetite suppressant. So it's not like I put any effort or changed any behavior. Right. You know, in other words, I'm kind of like, it's the ultimate Nepo baby. Are you having like a thin like me experience walking around the world being thin and finding out what it's like for those people? Well, I, you know, I joke in the special that I, you know, I used to be a fat guy and now I'm just, I'm thin, therefore arrogant. Because I always viewed thin people as arrogant.

22:18But I do feel like, I mean, I love it. My knees don't hurt. It's, you know, with the appetite suppressant, I'm just kind of, it's not like I don't eat. I just eat like a normal human. I'm less consuming like a dog

22:36Did you worry because I mean I know for example that there are people who feel like that if they're if they stop drinking or if they start taking Inidepressants they won't be creative anymore. Did you worry that if you weren't fat you couldn't be funny anymore? I you know in my 20s. I was thin and Granted I wasn't very successful at stand-up So the special comes out at the end of what I understand has been a pretty remarkable year for you. For example, earlier you went with about 200 other comedians to the Vatican to meet the Pope. Is that right? Yeah, I mean, that shows you the position that the Catholic Church is in right now.

23:15They're like, okay, time to call in the comedians. Yeah, what do we got? We got nothing. Nobody else will come see us. The comedians. Why, I mean, why in the world did Pope Francis, why did he want to have 200 comedians come to the Vatican? Well, there was a really intellectually sound reason, which he believes that humor is a really important part of dealing with everyday life. and so he wanted to articulate that. But the reality of sitting in a room in the Vatican with, you know, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Rock, and Rami Yutsef, you feel like it was just a gathering of every kid who couldn't behave in church.

24:08Right. I don't know if the nun can do it for these guys. We better go to the Pope. You said in your Instagram post about it that the Pope told you Pope Francis told you Jim Gaffigan that you were his favorite comedian. What? Is that true? That is not true at all. That was me trying to be funny. Making one of your little jokes. But I posted and I was like, you know what? Are people going to think that I'm serious? But would have been funnier from a fat guy.

24:41It was, yeah. Yeah, because, you know, some of it is, you know, English is probably the fourth language that Pope Francis knows. So I didn't really bother to say anything. I just kind of like nodded and kind of, you know, just kind of was polite and move along. Because that's what's so amazing about religion and politics. It's like the entertainment industry, but they don't get paid anything. It's brutal. That's true. I actually read that you once opened for the Pope in a way. when he came to the United States a few years ago. Is that right? Yeah. Well, I opened for the Popemobile. And I essentially did 10 minutes of stand-up outside in Philly.