Graham's Friendship with Carrie Fisher. Plus: Star Wars and Sloppy Kisses...

5:21Maria McErlane:I couldn't tell you what any of it was.

5:23Graham Norton:It's a good pairing menu. Those two together. But I do feel like whoever, Disney owns Star Wars now, and they have killed it stone dead.

5:34Maria McErlane:Well, it's been a long run, Graham. We've had the before, the afters, the before, the before, the sequel before the sequel.

5:41Graham Norton:There was a really good spinoff. I can't remember what it was called. It was the one where they all died. And they all had to die because none of them were in the films that we'd already seen. Oh, okay. And it was so weird watching a Disney movie. And you're thinking, but these people are all going to have to die. And then you go, no. They'll find some weird Marvel, different timelines thing. No, all died. For that point, I really enjoyed it. because it was such a kind of big, big swing to take in a crowd-pleasing film.

6:13Maria McErlane:And also, in most films, you invest in the characters for that film alone. So to introduce a whole new set of characters is quite good. It's like a completely different film, but we'll just use the Star Wars logo. Yeah. And we'll make it a Western.

6:26Graham Norton:And we'll mention Darth Vader occasionally. And somebody might say something about the Force. Yeah.

6:31Maria McErlane:I am your father. See, I know that. Is that I am your father? Or am I mixing it up with EastEnders? I am your mother.

6:38Graham Norton:Or is that Gypsy? I'm not sure.

6:42Maria McErlane:Or is it Lucille Ball? I want to talk a lot about Lucille Ball.

6:47Graham Norton:Maria, we are going to dive headfirst into another dilemma. Next. This podcast is brought to you by Carvana. Selling your car should feel like one less thing on your list, not one more. With Carvana, it is. Just go to Carvana.com, enter your license plate or VIN, and get a real offer down to the penny. No back and forth, no surprises, just an experience you can trust. Like your offer? Accept it. Schedule a pickup, and we'll come to you with a check in hand. Your car, your timeline, your terms. Visit Carvana.com to sell your car today. Carvana! Pickup fees may apply. Transport your senses with Sol de Janeiro's limited edition perfume mist collection.

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7:55Graham Norton:Right, Maria, letter number one off the blocks, please.

7:58Maria McErlane:I think what I'll do is I'll get Rafi to read this one.

8:01Graham Norton:If you could. Come on, please.

8:03Maria McErlane:Sausages.

8:04Graham Norton:The problem is no food in this shithole.

8:09Maria McErlane:No treats, no reedy. Dear Graham and Maria, I came here for Taylor Swift, stayed for The Dilemmas, and I love your podcast. Oh, thank you very much. I have an American aunt who comes to visit...

8:23Graham Norton:Is that the problem?

8:23Maria McErlane:Yeah.

8:26Graham Norton:Trouble is, I have an American aunt.

8:28Maria McErlane:Yeah, a non. Oh, she's from the Philippines, I've just read. I have an American aunt who comes to visit a few times a year. Now, I'm not sure how it's done in the UK, but here in the Philippines, relatives and friends typically greet each other with cheek-to-cheek kisses. This aunt, however, tends to plant a big kiss directly on my cheek. I hate it, but if I make a big deal about it, it might hurt her feelings and embarrass my dad, her brother. Simply smiling and waving won't work. if we don't do a proper cheek-to-cheek kiss, it would be seen as rude and disrespectful. I figured I should just swallow my discomfort.

9:09Maria McErlane:However, she has now done the same to my fiancé after his first lunch with our extended family. He felt pretty violated as well. Oh, please. We just laughed it off after, but I'm wondering if there is any way to diplomatically get her to stop kissing us like we're infants, and that's a non in the Philippines. Lesa and your aunt only comes twice a year to visit you in the Philippines from America.

9:35Graham Norton:I feel like this letter will play better in the Philippines. Because I thought the aunt was going to be kissing them on the lips and maybe sticking in a bit of tongue. But I mean, if she's just putting her lips on your cheek, that's all right, isn't she?

9:48Maria McErlane:She's not tonguing you, is she?

9:50Graham Norton:Yeah, I mean, she might have a very wet mouth. You know the way some people have a very wet mouth? That's not appealing. So I'm with you there. but I just think it's not worth bringing up.

10:00Maria McErlane:I just think she comes twice a year to see you from America to the Philippines. I think that's quite a long way for your aunt to come to be told not to do a kiss on the cheek. I think you're being a bit mealy-mouthed, frankly. Mealy-mouthed. Mealy-mouthed, you see. I mean, I do quite like, you do it a lot on your chat show, of, you know... Tongue in the gas. No, no. You used to do that until the courts got involved. Yeah, yeah. But now you go like this.

10:30Graham Norton:After the tribunal.

10:31Maria McErlane:You do that and you do that, but you don't actually make contact.

10:34Graham Norton:No.

10:35Maria McErlane:That's kind of, I think that started in America, didn't it, where people with lots of makeup didn't want to kind of smudge.

10:39Graham Norton:Well, that is kind of why I do it, because you don't want to sit through the whole show with lipstick marks on your face.

10:45Maria McErlane:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

10:46Graham Norton:Which is, sometimes that does happen. Particularly if I have an American aunt on. Which you have, you've had a few times.

10:52Maria McErlane:Oh, yes. But when you do that, do people kiss or do they just bang cheeks? What about banging cheeks?

10:58Graham Norton:You make a kind of kissy noise, don't you?

11:00Maria McErlane:Yeah, okay.

11:01Graham Norton:And then you're done. We'd go down very well in the Philippines. They'd love us there.

11:04Maria McErlane:I might move there.

11:06Graham Norton:Yeah.

11:06Maria McErlane:I'm feeling that I need some physical contact.

11:09Graham Norton:No, no, don't move there for that.

11:11Maria McErlane:No, no.

11:12Graham Norton:No, air kisses is what she's talking about. Yeah. Most people, I think, now do air kisses. The French, they make contact, don't they? They do the kiss, kiss, bisou, bisou. Yes, yes. And I think that's where this is coming from.

11:24Maria McErlane:You could tell your aunt that your boyfriend is Maori and that he does nose rubbing like that.

11:31Graham Norton:That sounds worse. Maria's demonstrating on the microphone. People listening to this can put a weird scraping sound like we're starting a fire.

11:40Maria McErlane:Oh, my God, flames. Yes, I do think anonymous in the Philippines. Twice a year, your aunt comes, family thing. it's just not worth saying get your big sloppy lips off my fiance's cheek.

11:56Graham Norton:I feel, yes, like I say, I feel like we're in some sort of cultural no man's land here where Anon in the Philippines listens to the podcast but has sent us a very specific problem to her.

12:10Maria McErlane:Yes. And we thank you for that. Yes.

12:12Graham Norton:We're very pleased that you've done that. I mean, we're always unqualified but I think in this instance we are supremely unqualified. Yeah. You should probably write to someone in the Philippines who understands this problem. Because honestly, I think the aunt isn't doing anything particularly wrong. She's just making some contact with her lips to your cheek.

12:28Maria McErlane:I like the idea. Suggesting you write to someone in the Philippines. Well, because they might understand this problem. If you go to AtwangingOn, you might find a Filipino contact.

12:39Graham Norton:Yes. If you go to our Instagram, AtwangingOn, there'll be full details.

12:45Maria McErlane:For expert advice on kissing in the Philippines. Yes.

12:49Graham Norton:You can probably Google it. Who should Google it is the American aunt. It's weird that the American aunt's brother doesn't say something. If the whole family...

12:58Maria McErlane:You mean her dad, a non's dad?

12:59Graham Norton:A non's dad. It's weird that if this is causing such problems for the whole family, that the brother doesn't go, Oi, sis, lips off.

13:07Maria McErlane:Yeah.

13:08Graham Norton:Back off.

13:09Maria McErlane:Cut it out, bitch.

13:10Graham Norton:Yeah. Come on, slobber face. Get off me. Yeah. Who are you, Finding Nemo?

13:19Maria McErlane:We're so childish. That's what's making me laugh. Yes, I think the dad doesn't say anything because he thinks the daughter is being a bit stupid. I mean, to say your boy...

13:29Graham Norton:You can't call people stupid. Well... I'm just saying culturally different.

13:33Maria McErlane:Culturally different. Okay, no, but to say that your boyfriend is feeling violated is a bit much. Well. For those of us who have been violated.

13:44Graham Norton:By your aunt. Coincidentally Small world

13:48Maria McErlane:She gets around Is all I want to say Yeah

13:51Graham Norton:And you're getting off lightly That's all I'll tell you Have any of the wangers Encountered with the American aunt?

13:58Maria McErlane:Yes, thank goodness Thank goodness Sorry a non in the Philippines I don't mean to be rude But I appear to be Jude says I would text her in advance So there's no confusion And just say something like Hey, just to let you know We've stopped doing cheek kisses lately So we're doing hugs instead now Look forward to seeing you soon.

14:16Graham Norton:You can't text that to someone.

14:18Maria McErlane:Then when you see her in the flesh, you can hopefully hug it out without stating it again. I mean, thanks, Jude. But really, isn't anyone joining me and thinking that she's being a bit mimsy?

14:30Graham Norton:Oh, you can always say I've got COVID. Yeah, yeah. You can all always have COVID. Or just say... Every time she comes. What are the chances?

14:39Maria McErlane:Well, just say, you know, we've both got the flu. So, you know, don't want to give it to you.

14:45Graham Norton:That one put her off.

14:46Maria McErlane:Shake her hand and said, Helga the Horrible in Norway.

14:49Graham Norton:Oh, I like the sound of her. This is easy. She's found her people. She Googled horrible people and we came up.

14:59Maria McErlane:This is easy, exclamation mark. Tell her you and your fiancé have cold sores on your lips and just make that your chronical condition until she gets the hint.

15:08Graham Norton:That one, because she's not kissing them on the lips. No, she's in the cheek. I think Helga the Horrible has jumped to the conclusion that we all did, that this kissing was somehow lip-based, but it's still on the cheek, just with a little bit of...

15:20Maria McErlane:Pay attention, Helga the Horrible.

15:22Graham Norton:A little bit of wet lip.

15:23Maria McErlane:OK, Lisa from Dublin. OK, she'll know. It sounds like your aunt loves seeing you and is unaware that she's making you feel uncomfortable. She doesn't visit that often, I expect. Twice a year. And I honestly think this is something you should just ignore. When it comes to your fiancé, my husband reckons he should turn his face quickly towards your aunt and when she looms in, she'll get a big smooch on her lips. Oh, yeah.

15:45Graham Norton:Yeah, do that. Yeah, do it again.

15:48Maria McErlane:This may solve the problem and she'll never kiss your fiancé again. Or she might like it and then you're in a right pickle. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Good luck with your dilemma. Thank you, Lisa from Dublin. Then you have something to write to us about.

15:58Graham Norton:I took your advice and now my American aunt has run off my fiancé.

16:04Maria McErlane:I forgot to say, she's 30 and really hot.

16:10Maria McErlane:Miel in Manila

16:11Graham Norton:Oh now, see, she'll know

16:13Maria McErlane:Yeah

16:13Graham Norton:Wherever Manila is Yeah Is it near the Philippines? Capital of the Philippines Yeah, yeah, yeah Oh it is in the Philippines Oh it's capital of the Philippines Yeah Good, she'll know Yeah Yeah

16:22Maria McErlane:Oh, being a Filipino myself I know how ugh that can feel I suggest wearing a mask next time they meet Mask wearing is still a thing here anyway People with colds or a cough use them So it could be a good deterrent I do the same when visiting family At most I get a clasp of the hand Instead of a cheek to cheek kiss Better or round Well see I said she needs to get advice

16:45Graham Norton:From somebody in the Philippines Thank you Miel

16:47Maria McErlane:Thank you Miel in Manila

16:49Graham Norton:We're the stupid ones We're the idiots Yeah we're the idiots Sat here in Britain We know nothing about cheek kissing

16:54Maria McErlane:What was I thinking? Yeah It just seemed to be a very small thing to get Here Here Yeah Here

17:02Graham Norton:There Big thing

17:03Maria McErlane:Yeah Okay Pam Pam says, being a Stoical Scot, I don't do hugging and kissing personally. However, I have European friends who all like to kiss on saying hello and goodbye. And I don't mind it as I see it as a cultural thing. I think if it makes someone happy, then why not? It could be worse. It could be on the mouth.

17:22Graham Norton:I'm, yes. I mean, Pam is actually right. It's also, I find that the kissing thing is quite complicated because Americans, I think, only do it once. Whereas I do it twice.

17:32Maria McErlane:Yeah.

17:32Graham Norton:And I think, is it French people do it three times?

17:34Maria McErlane:Three times, yeah. Yeah. That's a lot of prep. Once, twice, three times a lady.

17:39Graham Norton:Yes. Three times a whore.

17:45Graham Norton:Once, twice, three times a disease.

17:50Maria McErlane:Three times COVID.

17:54Graham Norton:Nan, thank you for sending in your dilemma. I doubt we'll ever hear from you again. Thank you. And Wangers, in the comments, how does it work wherever in the world you're watching or listening to this do let us know is it one kiss on the cheek two four thanks for the demonstration now kiss your dog meanwhile Brim McKirtland has another dilemma and we shall hear it next

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19:52Graham Norton:Wangers rejoice! You can watch us on your TV.

19:56Maria McErlane:Hooray! If you have a smart deli, you can go to YouTube or Spotify and search for Wanging On. Yeah, it's great. You can find our full episodes, all of them. So you can binge them all or you can watch us weekly, like a normal person.

20:10Graham Norton:This is the brave new world of visualised podcasting, Maria.

20:14Maria McErlane:I am all over it. Stream Wanging On on your smart telly now.

20:21Graham Norton:Maria, time to grab another envelope and tear it to shreds.

20:24Maria McErlane:I will. Dear Graham and Maria, I'd love to get your opinion on Recent Dilemma. I've been working as a head chef in a big independent business for a while now. And a couple of months ago, I found myself conspiring with the evil HR manager in formal disciplinary proceedings against my sous chef. Now, conspiring, it will come back. In the course of this, I came across a couple of official letters that had been co-signed with my name, including a notice of dismissal. Poor sous chef. While much of the substance came from me, I didn't agree with all of the content and the tone was not in my voice. The HR manager in question is not necessarily the brightest of people.

21:09Maria McErlane:And this comes across in their writing. Also, they misspelled my name. Ordinarily, this would irk me. But in this case, it does at least allow for a measure of deniability. Splitting hairs. Is this normal? Am I wrong to think that signing a person's name to a letter that they haven't written, read or signed off on is appalling? Or is this like when your mum puts your name on the family Christmas cards? How do I go about making an HR complaint against HR? Thank you in advance for your sterling advice and keep up the wonderful work from Mike in Brighton. Now, you see, Mike in Brighton, you have conspired with the evil HR manager.

21:51Maria McErlane:So presumably you've had to say Mr. Sous Chef or Mrs. Sous Chef is not doing the sous stuff. Yeah, they want to fire the sous chef.

21:59Graham Norton:They want to fire the sous chef. It's just how they're doing it.

22:01Maria McErlane:So I would say you have to say to the HR person, please, if I'm on a letter, if you're signing my name, I have to see the letter first. If only to make sure my name is spelt right.

22:16Graham Norton:Yeah. I think Mike's main problem seems to be, I think he's happy for the sous chef to be fired. Everybody wants that, apart from the sous chef, obviously. Everyone wants the sous chef gone. But I think Mike's main problem is he doesn't want to appear to be stupid in these letters, which sound like they're badly written, poorly spelled. And then, you know, according to this, Mike in Brighton can't even spell his own name. You know, so I think, yes, I know what you mean, how do you complain about HR to HR, but you're not actually complaining about the HR of it, you're complaining about the man of it, the person of it.

22:51Graham Norton:And I think you can go to him or her.

22:53Maria McErlane:Say to this man, A, you spelt my name wrong, and please, if you're signing my name, please let me see the letter before. Then you can correct these things or take out things that aren't in your tone. I mean, I don't think you can conspire with HR and then complain about the tone unless it is very stupid.

23:12Graham Norton:No, no. I think you can because the point is Mike needs to sign off on these letters because the sous chef has right of reply. So the sous chef will come up to Mike and kind of go, here, Chef Mike, I got your letter and you said this happened in this way and that isn't how that happened. And Mike's going, you're right, that isn't how it happened. I knew that, but moron here wrote a letter without telling me. so you know he's putting mike in a really bad situation what are you suggesting i think um you want the sous chef gone i don't know what's happened with the sous chef but something's gone wrong um so do you talk to the hr guy but the letters may have been sent already if the letters have been sent already you kind of need to talk to the sous chef and said look you do deserve this termination because of x y and z but i would like to apologize for that letter that you got sent because I wasn't across that.

24:03Graham Norton:You know, I'm not saying you should keep your job, but I don't agree with the way that this has been handled.

24:08Maria McErlane:Good. I agree with you on that. And now what is he saying to the HR man?

24:12Graham Norton:Oi, cease and desist. Because you cannot, you can't send letters from someone, even if they've got an implied agreement where, you know, they've both talked about firing the Sugev and terminating the contract. But you can't then just write words on a page.

24:29Maria McErlane:And attribute them to somebody who hasn't read the letter.

24:32Graham Norton:And obviously is better at letter writing than the HR guy. Yeah, that's really bad. The HR guy...

24:38Maria McErlane:And then maybe go to the boss of this place, independent place that you work at, and say, we need a new HR.

24:43Graham Norton:It's a big independent business. I'm thinking American Express.

24:48Maria McErlane:Are you now?

24:48Graham Norton:They have a large branch in Brighton. Brighton. Yeah.

24:51Maria McErlane:Yeah, yeah.

24:52Graham Norton:And lovely catering. Miss Marple over there. A lot of people say Chef Mike is the best in the biz. but some of the sous-chefery bit suspect

25:01Maria McErlane:what does a sous-chef do again?

25:03Graham Norton:wash salad no

25:04Maria McErlane:wash salad choppy-uppy things

25:05Graham Norton:choppy-uppy things yeah

25:07Maria McErlane:I mean how hard can that be? I'm quite glad I've got that job now though

25:13Graham Norton:now that you've conspired with the evil HR person and it's a handy commute for you

25:18Maria McErlane:it is it's only 25 minutes

25:20Graham Norton:you could almost cycle steady on Graeme

25:24Maria McErlane:so I think that's what we're saying you have to have a word with HR and it would be very kind and the right thing to do to talk to the sous chef and say, I'm not in agreement with how that was done.

25:36Graham Norton:Yeah, I think you need to, I mean, not just kind, but covering your ass. Yeah, because tribunal, tribunal, Graham. Yeah, you know, he might kind of unfair dismissal, and then these letters come up and there's queries about the facts in them, which are not correct. And then Mike is looking like an idiot that this guy has gone behind his back.

25:56Maria McErlane:I mean, this is a proper HR problem, which we are not qualified to understand.

26:04Graham Norton:Have you watched the new Jury Duty? No, is it good? It's really good. Is there an HR problem? It's called Jury Duty Does, is it Company Away Day? Does Dallas? Oh, the Company Retreats or one of those, you know. Okay. So it's a small company.

26:19Maria McErlane:Sounds awful.

26:20Graham Norton:It is, like, it's so hot making. King, it's a small company that make these hot sauces. And they go with a hot sauce company for a wedding and they have this guy. So they're all actors, improv actors. And then there's one guy who's an intern in the HR department. And I won't tell you what happens, but there's a lot of HR based activity in the show. Hey, Maria. Yes. We know nothing about HR. Do the wangers. I hope so. Yeah. Here we go.

26:48Maria McErlane:Diane says, if the letter is in your name, then you do have final approval and can make any amendments you wish or request that your name is not on it. Any letter with your name will be deemed to have been sent by you so you don't have plausible deniability. If you wish to complain about HR, then you need to make a formal grievance. Your organisation should have a grievance policy. Just follow this. Oh, Diane seems to know what she's talking about.

27:13Graham Norton:She really does. And of course, it's a large independent business. So I think they will have that facility for her.

27:19Maria McErlane:A grievance policy.

27:20Graham Norton:Oh, yeah. A reformist to fill in.

27:22Maria McErlane:I just need to find out, do we have a grievance policy on this pod? Because I have a grievance.

27:27Graham Norton:Sadly, this independent company is not large enough.

27:31Maria McErlane:Oh, Lisa in Massachusetts says, this is a tricky one. It's always a horrible situation.

27:38Graham Norton:Can I just say, American HR are very different, but let her go on.

27:41Maria McErlane:Okay. It's always a horrible situation when a dismissal is involved and a bad dismissal can be really damaging to the persons. So I would definitely say that you would not like to have your name on the letter as it is worded, if you disagree with parts of it, especially if you've never discussed dismissing that person. I do think I've been in a situation, though, where a person was dismissed and my name was added to a letter because I had been at the meeting discussing it. She went off on one there, didn't she?

28:09Graham Norton:I wasn't listening.

28:12Maria McErlane:No, or did I just read that badly? I think, no, she did.

28:15Graham Norton:No, her letter, it happened to her.

28:17Maria McErlane:Yeah, yeah.

28:17Graham Norton:Her name was put on a letter.

28:19Maria McErlane:Okay.

28:19Graham Norton:You're getting an ear clean. You want to leave her? You don't want to live with the lady anymore?

28:25Maria McErlane:Oh, no. Find out where he wants to live. About to see dogs home. I love Alison Hammond. And Ross, we've got a lot to this one. Ross in Edinburgh says...

28:37Graham Norton:People love a HR problem. They do. They love an HR problem.

28:40Maria McErlane:As someone who works in HR... Oh! This is a huge red flag and could open you up to a world of trouble. The last thing you want to end up in is an employment tribunal. But if this sous chef gets sacked under these circumstances, that's exactly where you're going. Report this to someone higher than the manager in question and let them handle it.

29:05Graham Norton:It's so hard to concentrate on your cooking when all this is going on. He's trying to plan menus for the next three weeks and this is playing with his mind.

29:14Maria McErlane:It's stressing him out terribly. It really is.

29:16Graham Norton:Mike, this is clearly a tricky one. But do remember, myself and Maria are not experts in employment law. So if you do want any expert advice on this particular issue, you can go to our Instagram at wangingon where you'll find links to expert advice. Mike, of course, emailed us wangingon at listen.co.uk is our email address. That's also when you send your Am I Weirds. Cue music. Am I weird? Good old Luke in Wicklow.

29:44Maria McErlane:I do like that Luke in Wicklow. I just think it needs to be a bit fatter, a bit more bass.

29:50Graham Norton:Oh, I think he's got probably a studio in his garden.

29:53Maria McErlane:Well, that's why I'm recommending that he gets back into that studio and fattens up that entire jingle.

30:00Graham Norton:I'd like it to, I'd like maybe a looser, liver sound.

30:04Maria McErlane:And then maybe do a bridge as well.

30:07Graham Norton:Just in between the am I and the weird. Yeah, that's really the only place you can put a bridge.

30:16Maria McErlane:Come on, Luke. Get with the programme. OK. Today's Am I Weird comes to us courtesy of Lauren, who says, Hi, Graham and Maria. Am I weird for how much milk I drink? It's my favourite drink. I loved it as a child and still do as an adult. I drink it at most meals at home. I order it at restaurants and coffee shops. And I've put it in a thermos to take to social events. Oh, my God. My friends ridicule me for it. Are they right?

30:46Graham Norton:Yes. I do. And yes.

30:48Maria McErlane:Yeah. I'm going to go, yes, weird. That is weird. It's just disgusting.

30:55Graham Norton:It's weird. If I was at a party and someone opened a flask of milk. Yeah.

30:59Maria McErlane:Slightly curdled.

31:01Graham Norton:Oh, my Uber couldn't get there fast enough.

31:04Maria McErlane:I think it's a weird. I'm sorry.

31:07Graham Norton:Unless it's a white Russian, then that is delicious. That is delicious.

31:12Maria McErlane:I think, Lauren, it's a bit attention-seeking as well to be able to go to a social event and open up your flask and let everyone... What's in your flask, Lauren? It's milk. I love milk. I can't get enough milk. I love drinking milk. Have done since I was a child. It's bloody Lauren again.

31:32Graham Norton:Milky Lauren. What I'd like to see, I'd like to see Lauren's teeth. Why is that then? Because as an adult... Oh! It's very bad to drink too much milk. Get out of here. When you're a kid, when you're growing, milk is very good because it's calcium. You get to a certain point in your development when you're done with the calcium and you shouldn't be having lots of milk. So I think all the enamel and stuff will be falling off Lauren's teeth.

31:59Maria McErlane:No, milk is not going to take the enamel off. Trust me, I grew up in Ireland.

32:03Graham Norton:Okay. Where people continue to drink milk and then lose their teeth.

32:06Maria McErlane:I mean, maybe they drink milk and also a lot of fizzy things. In Ireland? Like Coca-Cola and things like that that are much more kind of acidic.

32:15Graham Norton:Yes.

32:16Maria McErlane:It's the acid that takes the enamel off.

32:20Graham Norton:All right. Okay. Somebody Google it, but milk and adult teeth... In Ireland. ...are not in anywhere, are not a good combination. Take note, Lauren. You're laughing now. Okay. You'll be doing it with a closed mouth soon. drinking your milk through a straw

32:37Maria McErlane:take it up through the nose so yeah I'm gonna go yes weird Lauren

32:43Graham Norton:yeah I mean have it at home fine if you like but ordering milk in restaurants I feel slightly sick no one wants to pour out a whole glass of milk at a restaurant I feel sorry for waiters and at a party grow up grow up just that's in the pub even a children's party they're too old to be drinking milk. Yeah, okay. Have a fizzy drink.

33:07Maria McErlane:Has anybody Googled the milk in teeth?

33:09Graham Norton:But it's bad for you, isn't it? Just giving moderate amounts of milk is generally beneficial, not harmful to adult teeth due to high calcium, blah, blah, blah. What if you drink too... That's moderate amounts of milk. Lauren fucking lives on it. Moderate amounts is fine. Yeah, moderate amounts of milk, fine. But Lauren is drinking... It sounds like too much milk, I would say.

33:29Maria McErlane:Too much milk. Can you ever have too much milk? Yes, you can. Yes. And also, mix it up a bit, Lauren.

33:35Graham Norton:Don't just be Milky Lauren. You know, who's at the door? I think it's Lauren. Milky Lauren. From the smell, go to the letterbox. Cheesy Lauren by now. I'm pretty sure it's Cheesy Lauren. Dairy Milk Lauren. All because Lauren loved dairy milk.

33:57Maria McErlane:I think this is an easy yes. I think a lot of people are going to be allergic to Lauren. And milk. People can't do milk, but if she's so milky, allergic. I'm lactose intolerant. I can't talk to you anymore. I can't do Lauren anymore. Lactose Lauren, no. No. Stay away from my house, lactose Lauren.

34:19Graham Norton:I'd invite you, but. Yeah.

34:21Maria McErlane:Lactose in toll. Yeah. You're weird, Lauren, but we haven't had a weird for a while, so it's quite good. It's an honour in a way. Anyway, you vote to us.

34:30Graham Norton:Yeah, and with that sloppy, milky contribution from Lauren, we complete this edition of Wanging On with Graham and Maria. Thank you, Lauren, and everyone for writing in.

34:40Maria McErlane:And Wanging On with Graham and Maria is a Listen production. And we'll do it all again next week. Goodbye.