SNL UK and Accidental P*rn

5:55Graham Norton:And now she's stepping over the bike. The New Year's Eve tradition. Lovely. She's face down in the cobbles.

6:03Maria McErlane:So I think, going back to SNL, I think it will open up the floodgates again for more sketch shows. Yeah. And more diverse sketch shows. You know, when we first started, it was just all, a sketch show was for men, like the Cambridge Footlights and things like that, wasn't it?

6:16Graham Norton:But then you were in the Fast Show. I did do the Fast Show, yeah. Which, again, kind of broke new ground. It changed sketch shows for, you know, because sketch shows, we sort of knew what they were. And then the Fast Show was literally that.

6:28Maria McErlane:Yeah, and I think, you know, the point of the Fast Show was that the sketches were fast. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah, punchline, move on, which was great because quite often with sketch shows, you have a lot of rambling and then your punchline doesn't really kind of match.

6:42Graham Norton:Well, I feel that sketches are nearly always a funny premise and no one's actually thought about what the payoff is. Whereas The Fast Show was like little acted out jokes.

6:52Maria McErlane:Yeah, it was. It was like, think of the payoff first almost. Yeah. And we'll build around that.

6:57Graham Norton:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

6:57Maria McErlane:Because, you know, the payoffs are often disappointing. But anyway, I think SNL is a great new thing and the British tradition of knocking things before they start. I mean, I was there and I was knocking it.

7:09Graham Norton:Were you? Well, I mean, I was there. Were you knocking it openly? And I was thinking, this is going to be so bad. This is going to stink-a-roo. and then I was sort of blown away by it.

7:21Maria McErlane:And did Tina Fey have a lot to do with her importance?

7:24Graham Norton:I think so. I think she was around for a few weeks and she really knows how it works. So I think she was very useful to the writers in terms of pacing themselves, when it's important to stay up late and finish things, when it's important to go home and sleep, all of those sorts of things. And you could tell they all just loved having her around. That's the love about Tina Fey.

7:50Maria McErlane:But the other thing about British and American is our humour is slightly different. You know, we do go for the irony quite a lot, which I don't think the Americans do as much.

8:00Graham Norton:Yeah, I mean, for honesty, because I love SNL, the American one. I watch it a lot. I mostly watch it on YouTube. And, you know, their hit rate, like nearly all sketch shows, you know, their hit rate isn't very high. But you don't need many funny. You only need a couple, and then you've enjoyed the show. So long as there's a couple of funny ones in there, You've had a good time. Yeah. And then you've also enjoyed slagging off the unfunny ones. So it's been a double whammy of pleasure.

8:25Maria McErlane:And if in doubt, I think with the SNL America corpse, you know, anybody who laughs during a sketch, if it's not going well, you laugh.

8:33Graham Norton:Do that. Rafi's very impatient. Time is marching on. Okay. And people have come to us with problems, which we're going to get to next.

8:44Graham Norton:This episode is brought to you by Tilda Rice, the UK's biggest rice brand. Now, Maria, the working week can be so busy and sometimes we can rush through dinner or get stuck in the same mundane mealtime routine.

8:57Maria McErlane:You are so right, Graham. But I try and remember to make a bit of an effort to really enjoy dinner time. Sit at the table, maybe light a candle, feel a bit lonely.

9:06Graham Norton:I thought I smelled something. That's it. Sometimes treating yourself just means using the best quality ingredients and great quality rice can make a huge difference to your favourite dish.

9:17Maria McErlane:Tilda ages its basmati for up to 18 months, meaning the aromatic grains cook up all fluffy and separate. I mean, I am salivating just imagining it, Graham.

9:28Graham Norton:It's that kind of care that makes Tilda award-winning. Yeah, their pure basmati rice, fragrant jasmine rice, and their pure brown coconut and pilau steamed rice have all won the Great Taste Award. Great Taste Award?

9:42Maria McErlane:Yes. Well, talk about options, Graham. Tilda offers so many grains and flavours suitable for all sorts of occasions. Whether you're making your favourite chicken and rice bowl, enjoying a fake away or using up leftovers, make an effort with dinner time tonight.

9:57Graham Norton:Live like you mean it with Tilda Rice. Maria, please, please, in envelope, I beg you.

10:03Maria McErlane:I've forgotten how to do it, Graham.

10:05Graham Norton:Can you believe that? I know, the technology of envelopes is quite complicated. Old technology, of course.

10:10Maria McErlane:I know. Click on an email. Dear Graeme and Maria.

10:14Graham Norton:Sorry, you brushed his teeth.

10:19Graham Norton:With what a shitty stick.

10:25Graham Norton:Oh, my God.

10:27Maria McErlane:Oh, my God. I don't know what to do about him.

10:31Graham Norton:He's lovely. He's a lovely boy. OK, read on, read on.

10:34Maria McErlane:Dear Graeme and Maria, finally, after all these years of loyal listening, just put him down. I mean, don't put him down. No, no, no.

10:42Graham Norton:And then there were letters.

10:46Maria McErlane:Finally, after all these years of loyal listening, I have a problem worthy of your attention. We've been doing this for years. We have, kind of. I know it feels like it. I work for a small company and we use Google to store and share information and files. The other day I opened up our shared Google Drive and found a video that had been uploaded. The thumbnail was of a shower scene and part of a man. Well, I checked the title and it was obviously a porn video someone in the company had mistakenly uploaded. I tried to delete it from the most recently viewed list, but it came back. I didn't try very hard to learn who had posted it, lest my name be attached and the date stamped on the video as last viewed.

11:31Maria McErlane:I was blushing at my desk and feel too embarrassed to bring it up with my boss or any members of the all-male staff. I am of the generation before porn became a mainstream thing, so I find it all a bit embarrassing. Graham and Maria and wangers, what shall I do next? And that's from N. He thinks he does protest too much.

11:53Graham Norton:Oh, I got a feeling it was a lady. Oh, what? I felt that she was the only woman there.

11:59Maria McErlane:Oh.

12:00Graham Norton:Yeah.

12:01Maria McErlane:OK, well, blushing at my desk.

12:05Graham Norton:That's a lady.

12:06Maria McErlane:Is it a lady?

12:07Graham Norton:Men don't blush at their desk. OK. You know what they do at their desk. That's become very clear. And it's not blushing, though they do go red.

12:16Maria McErlane:I just wondered if this was somebody who had uploaded it and then realised that, you know, other people would know that it's been uploaded with parts of a man and sort of, you know, thought, oh, what's going on? Anyway, I don't really understand this, but what I would do, N, be you lady or man, is I would delete it, but she said, she, he said, they couldn't delete it, yes? Yeah, they tried. OK, what I would do, Anne, is I would take a screenshot of it. Oh, yes. And then you can go, I know we use human resources a lot, and most places don't have them anymore, but then you can go to human resources saying, look, this popped up on my Google, I don't know where it came from, but I'm just showing you so you don't think it's mine.

12:55Graham Norton:I feel like you could be more grown up about this. And do what, just ignore it? No, just kind of go, oh, just so people know, somebody mistakenly put this in our shared Google thing. So try not to do it again. And by the way, I can't delete it. Can someone help me?

13:12Maria McErlane:Yeah.

13:13Graham Norton:You know, and then no one's in trouble because no one meant to do it. I mean, it's a bit obvious that someone is actually using porn at work. Yeah, yeah. But other than that, you know, hopefully they did it during their lunchtime.

13:24Maria McErlane:But maybe, you see, if this is a woman, maybe somebody knows that she's a little bit uptight if she was blushing at her desk, really, and did it on purpose to embarrass. In which case, with the all-male office, is she really going to say, by the way, somebody uploaded something? She doesn't want to draw attention to herself or that particularly if somebody has done it on purpose to make her feel bad.

13:49Graham Norton:Well, look, here's the thing, N. You are too embarrassed to go to your boss about this. I would say your problem is that. Your problem is your embarrassment. because actually you should just go to your boss and kind of go, oh, just so you know, this has cropped up. Because I just think you didn't do it. No one I don't think is going to suspect you of doing it. And you just kind of go, this shouldn't be in a shared work thing. So however you thought you were uploading this or downloading this, you did it wrong because it ended up here. So can we all just keep an eye out and not do this anymore?

14:28Graham Norton:Now, will that open the floodgates for ha, ha, ha, people putting loads of porn into suddenly the shared Google thing is only porn?

14:39Maria McErlane:If I was in that office, yes. That would be red rag to a bull. And then I would say to somebody, what do we do in this office? What exactly are we making? What's the business model? Are we doing well?

14:57Graham Norton:I've only been uploading porn for three days.

15:02Maria McErlane:But then if she could just go to, if it is she, just go to your singular boss and say, I've taken a screenshot of this. Can you get it down? I don't know who it was. Maybe they did it for a joke. But, you know, can you just take it off my computer? Yeah. Don't make a big thing about it in the office because if it has been uploaded for you being a bit uptight, that's just, you know, into their hands.

15:25Graham Norton:And if there is HR in your office, Don't go to them with it because it'll be, oh, just food and drink to them. They'll love it. There'll be seminars. There'll be workshops. There'll be, you know, what's appropriate, what's inappropriate. Yada, yada, yada.

15:40Maria McErlane:The other thing there is to do, of course, is just ignore the whole thing, which I think I might be inclined to do. I'm very busy in this office, Graham. I haven't got time for this sort of stuff.

15:51Graham Norton:Well, you don't want to be looking at men's bits in a shower, do you?

15:54Maria McErlane:I know, but you don't have to go there all the time.

15:56Graham Norton:She's drawn to it like a moth to the flame.

15:58Maria McErlane:I mean, well done for not... I'll just see if it's still... Well done for not opening it. I mean, I would have been so tempted to open it.

16:06Graham Norton:I'm sure she was in there, yeah.

16:08Maria McErlane:Yeah, do you think she was?

16:08Graham Norton:Oh, yeah, she was in.

16:10Maria McErlane:She's seen it, but now she wants to delete it. Yeah. That's cake and eat it too, isn't it?

16:14Graham Norton:That really is. Very much so.

16:16Maria McErlane:Shall we see... Yes. ...what our wangers have said?

16:21Graham Norton:If anything, did they care? It's so funny. one problem was just like, and no one's responded to this.

16:28Maria McErlane:Nothing. Nothing from anyone.

16:30Graham Norton:No one cares about this woman and the random porn video. If it is a woman.

16:35Maria McErlane:Wendy, my advice for this one, you should do absolutely nothing. Whoever has uploaded the file in error will hope for as little to be said as possible. Although there will likely be some disciplinary action that's in brackets. Let this play out and keep your head down. Not your drama.

16:54Maria McErlane:Not your drama, good luck Well Wendy, I think that is pretty good advice So Dave in Brighton says

16:59Graham Norton:All I can say is If somebody else sees it They will see that the last person Who had any interaction with this video Was Anne

17:08Maria McErlane:She hasn't interacted with it though

17:10Graham Norton:But she has Because she was messing around with it Trying to delete it and things She hasn't opened it Digital fingerprints will be on it I think

17:19Maria McErlane:It's a nightmare It's a jungle out there Brian Just say the police

17:26Graham Norton:Report, report, report Did you just call me Brian? Wow Wow Oh my god We can't give people advice

17:40Maria McErlane:Things are progressing at quite a rate Graham

17:46Graham Norton:Where did Brian come from? We'll hear a siren in a minute. They're here.

17:55Maria McErlane:I can only apologise, Brian. Okay, let's do another one.

17:59Graham Norton:Back to the wangers. Here we go.

18:00Maria McErlane:Let's do another one. Did I do Dave in Brighton? Okay, Dave in Brighton.

18:09Maria McErlane:It's been a long day and it's only 10.30. Dave in Brighton says, Oh dear, curiosity killed a cat. On this occasion, it would seem there's no harm done. As long as your name isn't allocated to this grubby file, then everyone's in the clear. My advice would be to explore other safer internal options for file storage and present them to your boss. Meanwhile, I'd steer clear of unholy looking thumbnails. See, I don't really understand this.

18:34Graham Norton:No, but I feel like Dave works in an office and seems to know what he's talking about.

18:39Maria McErlane:He certainly does, because I don't.

18:41Graham Norton:No. So I think, Dave, you're probably onto something. And also, Anne will look very clever if she's marching in going, I found a different work share thing to use because I've noticed Google isn't very secure. Random porn has shown up in it.

18:57Maria McErlane:I found a safer internal option. There you go. And I am no longer clicking on thumbnails. Kath from Ammonford says, OMG, how horrible. I suspect it wasn't an accident or a mistake and you were meant to discover it. Oh, that's what you said, yes. You see, I thought that. I wouldn't delay in taking screenshots. Oh, my goodness. Kath and I are the same person. I wouldn't delay in taking screenshots and making a complaint for sexual harassment. That might be pushing it a bit.

19:26Graham Norton:Yeah. Cool your heels, Kath.

19:28Maria McErlane:Again, we don't want internal inquiries.

19:32Graham Norton:That was the name of the video.

19:36Graham Norton:Very good. We should do that one. Spin off.

19:43Maria McErlane:Tim says, my advice, and all staff email, oh no, Tim. I don't mind this. Send a note around the company with a screenshot telling whoever the culprit is that they need to swiftly delete their personal file from the work system and be more careful in future.

19:58Graham Norton:Yeah. Well, no, I think, like, a general email isn't a bad idea, just kind of going, look, I've noticed, you know, stuff showing up in the shared space. Can we all be a bit careful what we're uploading? You can do that. But, you know, all the rest of it is a bit heavy-handed, I would say.

20:13Maria McErlane:I think I'd just send an email saying, Stop with the porn. The end.

20:19Graham Norton:The end.

20:20Maria McErlane:Emily says, this is a tricky one. My initial reaction would be to say nothing and do nothing. Yep. But you have touched the file. Your DNA may now be on it. I said that. You did. One of your colleagues could very well think that you uploaded it. Surely the idea of that is more mortifying than mentioning it to the boss. A combination of humour and directness should do the trick. Oh, this is going to be good. Is the company branching off into adult content? If not, someone has accidentally uploaded a porn film into the shared file and I can't seem to delete it. Not much humour, Bear.

20:59Graham Norton:No. I would say N could throw her computer out her window and then report it to the police as stolen.

21:05Maria McErlane:Yeah, or what about spilling her coffee? Oh no, I've spoiled my whole computer.

21:10Graham Norton:Yeah, that's good. I feel like computers are all joined up though. They'll find her. Yes, yes.

21:15Maria McErlane:You see, that is the problem about not really understanding this shared file system.

21:19Graham Norton:It's called a web for a reason.

21:21Maria McErlane:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

21:23Graham Norton:And good luck with whatever you choose to do, even if that is nothing. And wangers, in the comment section below, have your say. Why not? What should be done about this accidental porn? Meanwhile, Maria McCurlin will have another dilemma in but a moment. in a classroom of sodas most stay quiet then there's Mr. Pibb sweet cherry bold outburst the kind of flavour that gets attention bold kick of cherry and you're Mr. Pibb this episode of Weighing On is brought to you by our good friends at Sky Ultimate TV and you know what that means Maria

21:58Maria McErlane:what does it mean Graham? a bonus dilemma oh be still my beating heart

22:03Graham Norton:alright read it out babe okay

22:04Maria McErlane:dear Graham and Maria I have a bit of a TV dilemma. My husband and I have committed to watching certain TV series together, but I'm beginning to question his stamina and commitment. While I want to watch the next episode, he begs off and advocates for getting a good night's sleep while being productive around the house. I fear he's holding me back. What obligations do I have to him? How do we navigate these commitment issues? Deb. P.S. Maria, I love your wardrobe. And Graham, I love your novels. Wow, what a kind way to say she hates what I wear.

22:41Graham Norton:True, true, Dad.

22:43Maria McErlane:I've gone off, Deb.

22:46Graham Norton:How does she have time to read novels? She's sat on the sofa waiting for the television show to start.

22:51Maria McErlane:Well, waiting for her husband to be productive around the house. Who decides, no, I won't watch that next episode, I'll be productive around the house. More shelves, more shelves.

23:02Graham Norton:Look, Deb, I mean, this is a conversation to be had. You know, and also it's Deb's conversation, but also I'm annoyed at the husband. Are you? Because the husband just go, you know what? I don't think this is any good. I don't want to watch any more of it.

23:16Maria McErlane:You see, I think that is the key, because if there is something good, and of course they all leave on a cliffhanger, you want to just keep letting it go. Watch the next episode. I mean, it takes somebody with very strong will, sense of will, to go, no, I'm going to save that. Because I just have to, you know, that's why I never leave the house.

23:38Graham Norton:Constantly watching all that fabulous television. No, I am quite good at, you know, spreading things out. Because I don't want to watch too many episodes of things in one night. I don't think they're good. Because then I'm thinking, what will I watch tomorrow night? I'll just sit through hours of rubbish tomorrow night.

23:52Maria McErlane:I think this is a conversation that you kind of need to have with him, Deb, when you're getting along. you know, maybe in the post-something coital glow, you could say, oh, can we at least agree to watch two episodes at once? I mean, you know, you've got a bargain here and you've got to get him into it because actually getting a good night's sleep.

24:16Graham Norton:No, I think that's very important. What I was going to say to them is just let him potter around and press play.

24:22Maria McErlane:In a minute, then he's going to say, no, who's he again? Because he's missed the last episode.

24:26Graham Norton:No, he won't be in the room. he's out he's descaling a kettle while this is going on

24:31Maria McErlane:are you saying he's never coming back to the sofa

24:32Graham Norton:he's left you Deb so just get used to watching television alone he's having an affair with someone

24:39Maria McErlane:who never watches television right just get used to your new happy life Deb what will I watch now

24:48Graham Norton:no I just think this isn't this isn't a huge problem I think you just say look are we not watching this I'll catch up on it you know because most things you can watch you know quickly by yourself or whatever so if he's not just say are you not watching this anymore what would be annoying if he then goes no I am I am I am still watching it and then well where are you because we're one episode in and it's been on for months I think what you do

25:17Maria McErlane:with something like that is you do a little quiz at the end and you make sure he was paying attention like what did she say to the policeman about where she was on the night of the murder

25:27Graham Norton:What I love is, you know when you watch the next episode and sometimes it's previously on whatever, and you watch it and think, I don't think I've seen any of this. And you think you're going crazy, and then you realise you skipped an episode and you haven't seen it before.

25:43Maria McErlane:The worst thing is watching five episodes of something and on the fifth episode you go, I've seen this before.

25:51Graham Norton:Oh, this is the one. Oh, yeah. It was a giant fish. Well, Deb, those are our thoughts. But regardless of whether you're watching TV with your hubby or not, you need to be watching Sky Ultimate TV. This is exciting. For the first time ever, Sky TV, Disney +, HBO Max, Netflix and Hey You are all in one simple subscription. Yep.

26:15Maria McErlane:All the best TV in one package for Deb and her husband to watch together.

26:19Graham Norton:And you can add the shows you want to watch to a handy playlist, which means no more endless scrolling to find something you want to watch. And you know what that means, Deb.

26:28Maria McErlane:Yeah, it means more time to watch, more episodes and no excuses for your husband. Huzzah! Get Sky Ultimate TV for£24. That's over£20 worth of streaming apps included. Just visit sky.com forward slash TV.

26:41Graham Norton:Prices may change during the 24-month minimum term.

26:44Maria McErlane:New customer joining Skystream with Sky Ultimate TV only includes Disney +, Standard with Ads, Netflix, Standard with Ads, HBO, Basic with ads, and a taste of hey-o.

26:54Graham Norton:For full T's and D's, go to sky.com slash TV. Maria, are there any more unopened envelopes in your intro?

27:00Maria McErlane:I don't want to disappoint you, Graham, but yes, there is one.

27:03Graham Norton:Thank you very much.

27:04Maria McErlane:Dear Graham and Maria, before my husband and I were married, he had a girlfriend, but their relationship ended long before he and I met. Now, almost 60 years later... What? What? What? He and this woman are back in contact with each other. Our demographic. Oh, my God.

27:27Graham Norton:This episode is brought to you by Complan.

27:30Maria McErlane:Almost six years later, he and this woman are now back in contact with each other and often exchange affectionate messages, reminiscing about their past, I want to say discussing funeral plans. Lately, these messages have become more frequent and she now often asks for photos. At Christmas this year, I discovered that my husband had sent her a photograph of me, our children, our grandchildren and our house, all of which I found an invasion of privacy. She has a husband, albeit 17 years older than her, brackets, he will be 100 this year.

28:15Graham Norton:They're not going to run off together, that's for sure. She's wheeling my husband away. Zimmer frame.

28:28Maria McErlane:We must get through this letter. Her husband will be 100 this year. And in a way, I feel she is becoming quite predatory. She's 80. No, she's... She's 83, I think. She's 83. Thank you. Good. Good adding up. My husband says he is just staying connected with an old school friend. I don't wish to be controlling about who he can or can't keep in touch with, but I feel their relationship is inappropriate. Oh, please. Should I ask him to desist or should I just tolerate the situation? And that, surprisingly, is from Anonymous. Oh, my goodness. Anonymous. You've been married for 60 years. I mean, I get that her husband is 100, so she might want a bit of a younger, friskier playmate.

29:17Maria McErlane:But really, I mean, with regard to him sending photographs of you and your family in the house and everything, I mean, that is a little bit like, is she going to stalk you or what? I don't think you can be prescriptive about who he is friends with. I think you can extend this friendship and say, get her and the old man over for dinner. and then that will allay all your fears that she's going to run.

29:42Graham Norton:But do it soon.

29:45Maria McErlane:Or wait until she's single. It's not going to take long. She'll need a friend then. I mean, are you thinking, Anonymous, that when he pops his clogs, which, you know, being 100, it's not going to be long, that then she will want your husband? Is that what you're thinking, Anonymous? Are you planning ahead to kind of, you know, nip it in the bud, as it were? I mean, it's a long time since any of them were buds, frankly.

30:11Graham Norton:But look, all I would say to Anonymous is, I think a lot of people listening to this, probably including ours, are thinking you've been married for 60 years, these people are in their 80s, nothing's going to happen, no one's running off with anyone, da-da-da. But all I would say is, that doesn't help Anonymous. If Anonymous feels this is wrong, if Anonymous feels there's something not right about this...

30:32Maria McErlane:Oh, you're thinking woman's instinct?

30:33Graham Norton:Well, just, we can't prescribe her feelings. You know, if it feels iffy and weird to her, then you kind of think maybe it's iffy and weird. She's known this man for a long, long time.

30:48Maria McErlane:But you can't control the situation. What you can control is your reaction to it. And your reaction to it could be a nice, friendly gesture to invite the fellow old people for a weekend. It seems like they live far away.

31:01Graham Norton:But what if this husband has never reached out to anyone else ever before? What if this is so out of character that suddenly he's sending all these messages to her?

31:10Maria McErlane:It could well be that this is his last gasp and, you know, last as are at happiness. Don't depress our listeners. No, okay. No, but it could be that he's... She's written in. Oh, yeah, sorry. Sorry. How do I take those words back? I just think she can take control of the situation by maybe reaching out herself. Just make this little twosome into a foursome and reminisce together with your husband and find out about what they did when they were childhood sweethearts back in the 1800s.

31:43Graham Norton:I mean, look, there's a lovely thing, I think. I think it's kind of sweet that he sent a picture of the two of them, their children, their grandchildren, their house, because it's like, this is my life. this is the life I've built while I didn't know you. I think it'd be more worrying if you'd sent a picture of him, you know, sitting in a jet chair in the garden looking a little tanned, you know.

32:03Maria McErlane:Or in the shower.

32:04Graham Norton:Oh, yes.

32:05Maria McErlane:As long as he didn't put on the picture, you know, an arrow pointing to the wife going, here's fatty.

32:12Graham Norton:Yeah, I want you in this, I want you to be here.

32:15Maria McErlane:Cut out the face.

32:18Graham Norton:Yeah. Did you notice that, Anonymous? I do feel for Anonymous because although I think like I say I think a lot of people listening to this will think she's being irrational she knows this man and she smells a rat

32:33Maria McErlane:okay yeah we don't know maybe he's had an entire 60 years of having affairs crazy affairs

32:38Graham Norton:but also you know I don't it shouldn't it shouldn't end your marriage I don't think it shouldn't you know hopefully nothing bad's going to happen but he's obviously there's something about this that is ringing alarm bells in her head. And I think it's that he's really enjoying the attention from this old girlfriend.

32:57Maria McErlane:But also the nostalgia of it, Graham, I think.

33:00Graham Norton:Yes, all of that.

33:00Maria McErlane:He's kind of thinking back to when they were young and what they had before he married her.

33:06Graham Norton:Yeah, yeah, exactly.

33:08Maria McErlane:We don't know. Shall we see what the wangers have to say? All right. Here's a voice note from Kath in Sydney. Well, this raises more questions than answers for me. What are you most concerned about? So what if he sent a picture of his life now? He sounds like he's very happy. You sound like you're really threatened by the old bird. I doubt anything actually is going to happen. But no, why should you ask him to desist? He's allowed to have friends, isn't he? I like that. I like threatened by the old bird. Yeah. Say it like it is, Kath.

33:39Graham Norton:Yeah. He's a bit threatened by the old bird. Except she wasn't Australian, was she?

33:45Maria McErlane:Oh, well, she didn't.

33:46Graham Norton:She said, no, it sounded very, yeah. Like she went out and won a convict ship. She says she's in Sydney.

33:51Maria McErlane:God, Graham! You said that out loud. Internal thoughts. Internal thoughts.

33:58Graham Norton:I can only apologise, Kat.

34:00Maria McErlane:Amelia in Bristol says, it's been 60 years and he's been open about being in touch. True, Dat. Which suggests he doesn't feel there's anything to hide and it really is just old friends catching up. My advice, keep quiet, have a moan to your girlfriends about her and make sure he's sending photos of you looking your best. I think that's pretty good. Yes. Advice from Amelia.

34:20Graham Norton:I think moaning to him will... Make it worse. Make it worse. But I think Anonymous should absolutely feel free to moan to everyone else. Yeah, like us. Yeah, and your children. Get your children on board. Yeah. Yeah.

34:34Maria McErlane:And then get the children calling her the fancy woman. Yeah, and mock him. Yeah. Yeah. Steal his supply of Viagra.

34:44Graham Norton:Ooh!

34:46Maria McErlane:Kevin says, short answer, get over it. After nearly 60 years of marriage, I think it's worth asking why an old acquaintance now feels so threatening. It's entirely normal for people to reconnect later in life, reminisce and share family photos. That's called a life well lived, not infidelity. You can absolutely express discomfort, but trying to police or shut down a benign friendship at this stage of life risks harming your marriage more than protecting it. This is something to make peace with, not something to control. That was very good from Kevin, I thought. No?

35:18Graham Norton:Well, it is. I mean, on one level he's right, except, you know, you're saying after nearly 60 years of marriage. But that's the point, isn't it? I'm sure anonymous or her husband don't feel like, oh, well, we've been married for 60 years, so obviously we're dead inside. Actually, you can still be jealous. You can still have crushes on people. You can still, you know, all of that stuff.

35:38Maria McErlane:That is a very good point. Anybody who's 80, as you will know, doesn't feel anything. Any minute now. Doesn't feel anything other than 23. You know, you still have exactly the same feelings. So don't write them off. And I do feel for anonymous. I know there's a lot of people sort of teasing, myself included, but I do feel that because you can't legislate for how you're jealous. And it's quite nice that you are jealous at this stage, but you simply cannot try and control things.

36:07Graham Norton:Yeah. And also, you know, I think because it is also out in the open, it's just annoying. I don't think there are huge red flags yet.

36:17Maria McErlane:No, I don't either. Any more from a while? Yeah, yeah. Siobhan says, You should revel in and celebrate this situation. You got the guy. You won. My mum was friends with a bunch of my dad's ex-girlfriends. They met up regularly for dinner with spouses and significant others over the decades. Mum owned each of those occasions like the queen that she was. Those cast-offs bowed at her feet before enjoying an evening catching up and remembering all times. This woman isn't a threat. She's an outsider grasping at the scraps of the life she wished she had. You went off a bit there, Siobhan. Yeah.

36:53Graham Norton:Grind her under your foot like an old cigarette butt.

36:57Maria McErlane:Maybe a little harsh, Siobhan.

37:01Graham Norton:Anonymous, thank you so much for getting in touch with the podcast with your dilemma. And if you're listening to this and thinking, ooh, I'd like to send in a problem, you can. And we have an email address, wangingon at listen.co.uk. That is also the email address you use if you would like to get in touch with your Am I Weirds. And before we get to this week's, guess what? What? Well, we've had a musical submission from regular wanger Luke, who lives in Wicklow. He sent us this. Am I Weird? I quite liked that. It wasn't what I was expecting. but I quite liked it. It was a bit, do you want to remind me of Laurie Anderson and Superman?

37:43Maria McErlane:Yes, it is a bit. It's not Taylor Swift, is it? Lyrically, it's a little limited.

37:48Graham Norton:But I felt, Luke recognised that this is a part of the pod and he thought, oh, it's called Am I Weird? I'll give them a jingle. Can we hear it again? Can we hear it one more time? Am I weird?

38:01Maria McErlane:I like it. Yeah, I like it.

38:03Graham Norton:Luke says, hello, I noticed you both mentioning a jingle may be needed for Am I Weird? Well, here's a gift to you if you want to use it. And we do want to use it. So thank you very much, Luke.

38:11Maria McErlane:We like it. The Ammo Weird. Who's that from? I'm weird. Dear Graham and Maria, I'm Angelica from the Philippines. The Taylor Swift episode brought me here and I've been hooked ever since. Welcome. I'm really close to my parents and ever since they turned 65, I found myself contemplating their mortality. Brackets, they are now in their 70s. They're perfectly healthy, but I find myself checking if they're still breathing while they're asleep. I know, sorry, didn't mean to laugh. I know it's silly since there was no one to do it when I studied abroad last year and there will be no one to do it after I get married this year but I can't seem to help it Also, if one of them spends an unusually long time in the bathroom I call out to them Are you still alive?

38:53Maria McErlane:Am I weird? Best regards, Angelica, 37 years old Oh, Angelica, I think what you are is getting older and worrying about the loss of your parents which, sadly That will happen

39:06Graham Norton:You will be right to worry about them. But I think you've done it a bit soon. Yes. I mean, we don't know whether health-wise, but I would say mid-60s, bit soon.

39:17Maria McErlane:Just a tad too soon. And also there's a little bit kind of an obsession creeping in, like if you're sort of going to check that they're still breathing.

39:26Graham Norton:Yes.

39:27Maria McErlane:I think we need to keep that side of things in check, Angelica.

39:32Graham Norton:When I had a very old dog, I would do it.

39:34Maria McErlane:Yes.

39:34Graham Norton:If they were kind of asleep on the floor, I would kind of stop sometimes and have a look to see if there was any chest movement.

39:43Maria McErlane:Yes, but I think with an old dog, you do expect it. But you've been away studying, you're getting married. I think this is just a sort of general fear about mortality, Angelica, that you are feeling. And, you know, you're right to, but I think you need to get a handle on it. I don't think you're weird, but I do think you need to get a handle on it because you're only 37. They're not that old. So, otherwise, it's going to get a bit out of control.

40:08Graham Norton:I'm getting only child vibes.

40:10Maria McErlane:I am getting only child because there's no one to do it.

40:13Graham Norton:Yeah.

40:13Maria McErlane:But also, the likelihood of them going together is pretty slim. So, you know, there will be one person to check if the other one... Well, that's cheery. What I'm saying is that...

40:24Graham Norton:And the great thing is they died one after the other. So it was all good.

40:29Maria McErlane:They both died in bed at the same time.

40:32Graham Norton:And I put a pillow over their faces. I couldn't bear the attention anymore. I couldn't bear one of them being left alone. Every time I checked, they were still breathing.

40:46Maria McErlane:It's difficult, Angelica. You know, it's difficult. Losing parents is horrible, but I think you're all right for a few years.

40:54Graham Norton:Yes, I would say what you're doing is natural, but a bit extreme, but you're not weird. No. It is a motivated fear. It's not madness.

41:06Maria McErlane:You're not weird, you're just cautious. Yeah, exactly. You're thinking ahead, Angelica.

41:11Graham Norton:No, I don't think she started doing this too soon. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there'll be a time for this. Yeah, and it'll evolve the machine.

41:19Maria McErlane:And also, when you get married later this year, Angelica, your husband can have this fear too. Oh, yeah, that'd be nice. It'd be nice to share it with someone. Something to do together.

41:27Graham Norton:Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it'd be nice. Should we just pop in and see them?

41:29Maria McErlane:Should we pop round to mum and dad,

41:30Graham Norton:see if they're still breathing? Do you mind? Oh, the fun. So I think we're both saying not weird. No, not weird. All right. And with that, we conclude this edition of Wanging On with Graham and Maria. Any parting words, Graham?

41:43Maria McErlane:Yes, Graham, just to say that we're not experts on anything. If you need help with any of life's dilemmas, please seek it out from the proper channels. There's more on our Instagram, at wangingon.

41:55Graham Norton:Wanging On with Graham and Maria is a Listen production, and we'll be back next week with more. Until then, goodbye.

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42:28Maria McErlane:Oh, wow. That was easy.

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