Our Studio Pitches Cursed Tech Inventions!

40:51Check out the studio channel. Dead smartphone tier list video. Thank you. All right. Next. Oh, which is where MKBHD gave that phone a C tier. Big time for the aftermarket sales of LG Wings. So what is a maximalist phone? So it's everything you've ever dreamed of doing on your phone in one place. Gambling? Yes, of course. It's the only device you'll ever need. It's your all-in-one entertainment solution. It is the most productive device ever. Your all-knowing AI friend. And the Maximalist phone guarantees that you will never have more fun spending entire days glued to your phone screen. As we all should be.

41:30Thank you, production. So this is the LG Maximalist phone. Ooh, round of corners. It's got a 6.9-inch display. Very nice. Nice. It's got the Snapdragon 10 Elite. We jumped two whole dragons for this phone just for you guys. Two terabytes of RAM. 10 terabytes of onboard storage, a 500 megapixel main cam, 40 megapixel telephoto, 100 megapixel periscope telephoto. Take that, Samsung. And a 25 megapixel selfie cam, all powered by a 3 ,250 milliamp hour enormous battery. But that's just a rectangle. It's just a rectangular phone for those listening, not watching. It just looks like a phone. It's pretty boring.

42:15There's got to be more to this, right? That's where you fold this baby out and in partnership with tik-tok. Oh my god You can now have tik-tok running on your left-hand screen and keep being productive on your right-hand screen Because if you've ever worried that you can't content max while you're over sharing your entire life to your 347 tik-tok followers, you don't have to worry about that anymore. You can live Okay,

42:41I have a quick question. Yes, assuming I literally could not care about being productive whatsoever Sure. Could I just have two TikTok separate feeds on each screen and like sort of scroll them separately with my two thumbs? You could have two TikToks. You know, I'm not legally allowed to say this. Thanks for our contract. But you could even have YouTube shorts on one and TikTok on the other. Right. Or perhaps Instagram. But maybe we'll get to that in a little bit. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. But what about your many successful businesses? If you do want to be productive, there needs to be more room for productivity because you might want to.

43:13You're stopping at two screens? You have no faith in this presentation. You don't. You don't. Because that's where our next feature comes in. In partnership with Microsoft 365, we've added our third screen, which gives you everything you need. Word processing, calendars, emails, presentation software. You can have a very mid-adequate version of all of them in one with the Microsoft 365 5 suite our exclusive partner for productivity on the lg maximalist phone so you could be tick tocking you can be texting and you can be emailing teams and you could be let me tell you we're excited to announce ellis oh no that these transitions

44:00microsoft teams is the official messaging partner of the lg maximalist phone you're really you're pushing the adequateness of this phone. This is going to be the most adequate giant phone you've ever had in your life. Yeah. Let me tell you. So Microsoft Teams, we want you to be part of our team. And that's why we've made Teams the official messaging partner of the LG Maximus phone. But it's not quite enough yet because we have an homage to our sweet baby, the LG Wing. You fold out that fourth screen on the bottom. For those of you listening and not watching, we now have three screens. one two three with a fourth one that folds out from the bottom in the center does it fall out or swing out something like that we're figuring it out that's a great question i'm glad you asked it anyway uh so you fold out the fourth screen and suddenly you're in lg wing mode you if you just like you've ever looked to your phone and you're like man i wish i could be watching a full screen video up top here while i'm texting and being productive on the bottom well here you go.

45:04You don't have to worry about that anymore with LG wing mode on the LG maximalist phone. But typing on a screen, it's very passe. It's very 2010s of us to be typing on a screen. So that's why we have a best in class exclusive collaboration with Blackberry with a nice little slide out keyboard from that bottom screen. Now you can tap out messages to your heart's content on those sweet little chicklets get all those emails important texts everything out me and youtube comments the center of gravity on this thing is wild but it's amazing yeah for the audio listeners just to keep you up to that we have three a row of three screens on top and then one center screen on a bottom row that sort of forms a thor's hammer type shape and then below that bottom screen is a blackberry style keyboard exactly so if at that point you're typing on the blackberry keyboard you have two thumbs and all of your weight on yeah the bottom maybe five percent of this phone does it come with like a neck strap that you can like attach to like have faith it's actually weighted quite well once you see what else we have in store here balanced it's remarkably balanced uh let's let's move on because you're still not maximizing your consumption just yet and that is where our collaboration with instagram comes in two more foldable screens on the bottom I'm giving you a whopping six total screens of real estate so that you can view Instagram the way that it's meant to be viewed in Instagram mode.

46:33It's the latest and greatest way to rot your brain with endless hours of doom scrolling. You get it just the way Zuck intended. Nice square form factor, minimal oversight, maximum ability to get yourself addicted to and or buy things. And it's on the biggest screen you possibly can for Instagram right now. Sounds like a moneymaker. It is. Absolutely. That's very important. Very important. this is shark tank after or the eel the eel farm or whatever eel pit just go with that all right but that's still not all because what about more important things like gaming and movies well the lg maximalist phone has everything you could ever want in a phone that's right what we've got we're at 10 screens now we have 10 full that is that a bitcoin ticker on the top of it.

47:20That is the official crypto.com stonk tracker up top. So whenever you're doing anything, you can always know that you can check your stonks. Is that a Stadia controller? Hold on. Just a moment. I did forget to put a piece of text on the side here and the producer forgot to bring in my updated presentation that I sent him. But this totals out to now a 20-inch screen to watch critically acclaimed movies like The Wild Robot. great for all audiences anyone who says otherwise you deserve to get hated on the internet next the Fujifilm X100LIV pop up selfie camera I don't know what those I don't know what those letters mean they didn't tell me what number that is so we're just going to call it the LIV actually no they're going to randomly change how this is read now it's now the X100LIV pop up selfie camera we made this specially with them to make sure that you have the best pop-up selfie camera, just in case the stock 25-megapixel sensor is not quite enough.

48:23And then, of course, if you want a content max, you need brain audio, ear-murdering surround sound, which pops out from four parts of the screen on both sides, ear-murdering surround sound to take care of all you there. Then we got the Stadia controller redesigned. The last one was a little too modern-looking. we've used the Xbox the Duke controller as our inspiration for this perhaps the most that looks like the Discord logo in 3D it kind of does maybe it's a Discord controller I think it's just the Discord logo if they made it into an actual controller call it that actually we're selling the rights to Discord as we speak thank you for thank you for bringing that up Stadia you're gone Discord you're in and finally you might be wondering what those things are at the bottom any guesses any guesses one of them looks like a opal webcam kind of looks like those like scent that scent box that we had here a little bit this comes with 4dx immersive viewing built into your phone you never thought you'd be able to smell the wild robot but that oil smell is going to be coming right in your nose as you're watching it's going to feel great so this is it we're good and the best part is it's infinitely pocketable weighing in at just four inches thick this this phone a block of chips this phone is the most pocketable phone you could ever hope to experience in your entire life without further ado this is the lg maximalist phone this is incredible i just want to make sure you partnered with yeah brain yeah fujifilm crypto.com google stadia maybe discord we haven't decided maybe maybe Discord.

50:07Maybe both. Teams, Instagram, TikTok. What was the camera one? Uji Film. I think that was it. We have set eight brand partnerships going on. Is there even room for us at this point? Yeah. This was my concern actually. I was hoping I would get a camera partnership and a speaker partnership and we did get that. But each one of those deals actually takes a little bit off of your bottom line. So I'm curious how your margins are going to work out giving a few percent to each of these partners. Whoops. That's a great question, and I'm glad you asked it. Yeah. Incredible. Moving on. All right. So does anyone else have any questions?

50:44Does it have NFC? Yes, of course. Of course. All right. All right. Well, look, see, I feel like I'm an interesting candidate because as some people might know, I'm sort of a minimalist phone guy. In fact, again, once again, I'm literally being tortured by the minimal phone right now as we speak. So as someone who is afraid of brain rot and maybe needs a little bit of convincing that I should be rotting my brain more. What would you say to a consumer like that? How would you convince them to melt their brain with Zuck's poison? Think about all the happiest moments in your life. They're all probably on Instagram, obviously, right?

51:22Fair. Good point. Yeah. In fact, I don't think I've ever been happy when not on Instagram. I mean, when are you happy when you're not consuming content? It's true. It's so true. Why would you go hike in the woods when you could see it in brilliant HDR right in front of your face? You know, it's funny. when I'm at the movie theater, sometimes I watch the whole movie through my phone's camera just so I can put it in a vertical aspect ratio. And then you can like pause it at various times, get minute and a half consumable bits of the movie. I think that's really the better way to go. Well, look, I'm a huge fan of LG.

51:52I use an LG TV at home that I love. I use a lot of LG products. And so this just feels like the next big thing. So I'm in. I don't know if I have much to offer as a venture capitalist. I mean, it seems like, frankly, the biggest tech companies in the world are already funding this project. But if you want a goober like me on board, I mean, I'm right here. Look, really, we just love money. That's fair. I love that. So more of it is better. Yeah, of course. Here's where you should choose me. Okay. To my left, we have someone who notably has not been the nicest to folding phones in the past. You know, some say the Surface Duo, some people on Reddit might say the Surface Duo is dead because of this man to my left.

52:36And we can't take that risk. He doesn't want to mess up his good name. There's lots of other reviewers out there who will be out to get us because this is LG, a brand that I love. But I know all of the tech reviewers except for one or two are out to get LG because they have a personal vended against them. No other reason why they could have failed. and they failed because of those because of that we often say that in the office I'm glad she brought it up we talk about it often it's a known fact I like that we're bringing it back I have a content strategy for how we bring it to these reviewers

53:1437 embargoes each one of these screens needs their own embargo because we need to produce we need to show the incredible form factor before we show that there could be a couple, we'll call them hiccups in the software process of this. Lots of different, you know, we've got a lot of integrations here. Those don't always mesh right away. And we probably won't solve those till about four or five software updates after consumers already have this in their hand, but they don't need to know that and the reviewers don't need to know that. But we can promise them that we will. Exactly. So we need, Embargo One is pre-order day.

53:50Okay. Straight off the bat, no screens turned on, one full one screen unfolding external shots only perfect yeah and then we'll slowly unfold each screen one by one through the embargoes it'll probably be seven to eight months worth of embargoes before they can do their full review well after the 30-day refund policy and that's how we sell this bad boy and we bring back lg with a vengeance because it is a vengeance to all the tech reviewers out there who killed them in the first place i agree this this whole thing is about revenge and i'm glad that you uh i'm glad you saw that and um yeah recognize yeah andrew would you be willing to go in with me on that deal i think you know it would be a good uh like comeback story of marquez being on lg's good side yeah exactly that's what i'm thinking i'm thinking the big headline is that I've changed my tune and I'm a big LG fan.

54:53Now, question, would you be open to signing a deal where that's put in writing and we can sue you for many millions of dollars if you don't say that? And we don't disclose that deal And we don't disclose that to anybody. Nobody. I would say yes if I also get to add partners as well. Okay. Yeah, add as many as you want. You love partnerships. Yeah, I like that. But give me a pitch right now. Who do you know? You got all the connections. I was thinking you could have an AI partner. Oh, absolutely. Something like that. I was thinking you could have a couple other partners in the software department.

55:26Obviously, the cameras. You can almost stack partnerships. Maybe one partnership for the ultrawide camera, one partnership for the telephoto camera. We had a 3 ,200 million power battery in there. I think you can get two or three partnerships just on the battery. Fast charging by Oppo. I think there's a lot of room there. So I'm liking this. I like where you're thinking. I did have one partnership. Question. So I noticed that the official crypto broker of this phone is Crypto.com, who also happens to be the jersey sponsor of the best basketball team in the Mid-Atlanta Conference. That's a terrible question.

55:57I'm sorry you asked it. So when are we getting the official Joel Embiid Philadelphia 76ers collab partnership? Unfortunately, that's the B-tier Crypto.com partnership. And the A-tier one is the Crypto.com arena in Los Angeles. We will actually be wrapping the entire crypto.com arena in LG Maximalist phones, though, as a promotion. I do. I do have one other idea for, you know, further along in this partnership between us. Maybe Marquez. We need to look at the budget market. And I think there's opportunity for the LG Maximalist A. Okay. Further down the line. Maybe five screens, plastic everything.

56:40We'll take away wireless charging. I actually didn't see it. a 47 megapixel camera instead of a 50. I think there's the opportunity. The number one rule of the LG maximalist phone is if you are wondering if it has the feature, it does. Does it have a DAC? Yeah. Headphone jack? Sure. Stereo speakers? Well, you saw. I mean, yeah, absolutely. It is stereo speakers. How's the low light performance on the camera? Because with 50 megapixels, the photo sites are going to be really small. I think it was 500 megapixels. 500 megapixel main sensor. It's binning down to 50. Yeah. Yeah. No notes. no notes yeah okay you know alex um i love what you're putting down but i think without a philadelphia 76ers integration i just don't think i could co-sign this you know that's okay i was really just here for him that's yeah the headline the headline marquez brownlee single handedly resurrects lg mobile is that's gonna hit man that's what i'm thinking yeah yeah it's like uh it's like yeah you know what never mind i was trying to think of a movie where someone kills someone and then brings them back to life but i couldn't that's a book yeah i love that book yeah i'm reading it on my minimal phone nice yeah no i'm i'm thinking i'm thinking we can collab on this i bring the partnerships and the headlines you're the media and the media aspect i can get this in front of reviewers you've got i can hear the strategy coming from from all angles on this phone i think we can hit every single feature in every single market we have a timeline we can get an A-series version out.

58:08I think the three of us are going to make something pretty magical here. Hey, Ellis here. In the future. Sorry for the interruption, but all of my co-hosts decided to use this time to talk smack about the Philadelphia 76ers, which I just can't let happen, you know? I'm mixing this episode. I get to decide what makes it in. And so, yeah. Anyway, back to the show. Thank you, thank you. I'm slowly realizing that you know this is an idea that kind of got thrown together for the podcast the thing that's the hardest is they're all tech products and everyone wants Marques to be their partner for the tech product alright we've got another set of partnerships in the works that was really fun we're going to take a quick break and come back with one more from Adam

59:06From Pushkin Industries, I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and Heavyweight is back. The new season is bigger than ever. Bigger hopes. I keep waiting for this moment. When he says, Mom, I get it. I'm sorry. Bigger dreams. Tom Hanks wants to meet with you. This is a real chance. And bigger heartbreaks. I thought it would be my movie moment. and maybe he would even whisper in my ear, I've always been in love with you. Check out new episodes of Heavyweight on Apple Podcasts.

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1:01:30Oh. Stone-faced. Oh, now I hear the music. Okay. It is weird walking over here to silence. Not hearing music. Yeah, I'm not hearing anything. Adam, welcome to the eel pit. I'm ready. We are all ready for your presentation as well. Yeah, this has been a long time coming. Buttons are back, baby. That's what it's called. I'm interested. I knew you would be, but all right, hear me out. the problem with today's tech it's too abstract everything is hidden behind screens taps tones you know like there's no oomph anymore i don't feel anything when i'm using these phones pro phones are all the same color app uis look all the same we're not using all of our senses with modern technology you know we're only using a few of them like sight and sound uh when you tap your screen it just vibrates to like simulate the motion we play music out of crappy tiny speakers and think that's okay on subways but what about all of our other senses there's so many other senses i'm just a little confused because you mentioned sight sound and touch so the other sentences are taste and smell and the sixth sense no yeah just taste and smell it's just that it's actually just that movie the solution bubbles whoa what i have bubble wrap for you guys if oh wait no not bubbles never mind buttons we want buttons and switches and knobs and so i present to you the i tab can you explain what you are looking at right now uh i see you cannot if a normal The whole smartphone is a slab with a glass screen and two or three buttons on the sides.

1:03:15This is a screen surrounded by many buttons, knobs, and switches and other things, a kickstand, a thermometer, a knob, an antenna, and it's looking pretty maximal, I might say. Yeah, wait, let me, it's sort of like picture, kind of looks like an old school radio, like an old school like portable radio but there's an evf on top there's like is that what that is there's a compass in the top right correct then there's like the dial pad from like a kitchen landline phone there's a tape transport at the bottom uh is that a physical eject button next to the transport so we're gonna get there because i want to know what you're rejecting on the right there is a full mercury thermometer yeah okay and a kickstand and then an antenna sticking out of the top what if I told you this was just a case that screen in the middle is an iPad it's that big or iPad mini I think like the best does this not look like it would be like if you were playing a video game like Firewatch or something and you had like the central menu screen they wanted to make it more immersive so like he held this like device up every time you needed to get this is what it would look like yeah that that is how i would describe it or like something you ever play the game astro near no all right great cool good story guys no i can already agree with you oh look who knows how to use the sound buttons alex is okay so this is a case for an ipad you put the ipad in that is the screen right there as marquez plays with the bubble wrap.

1:05:02And it gives your iPad all of this extra functionality with buttons and everything. It also lets you touch, taste, and smell your tech. You see that little grip on the side? That's not just the grip. It's also the smell-o-vision. It's like one-time use because you have to refill it after every time you use it. But it can do it. The iTab case. Hardware apps include compass radio screen recording calculator temperature walkie-talkie camera ai assistant naturally the specs telephoto lens physical viewfinder 48 megapixel main sensor the exposure control are all controlled by knobs love that built-in kickstand and an insane battery capacitive this is a collab from teenage engineering and mischief i noticed there's some asterisks yeah it was my follow-up question there are some asterisks yes what okay okay so so i see the the the asterisk after ai assistant correct and insane battery capacity what uh what do those asterisks mean adam i'm so glad you asked marquez so the ai assistant asterisk refers to the fact that you need to dial into an fm radio station in order to use this ai assistant it's a one-way technology the ai will just constantly be spouting advice over broadcast oh so you can't query it you cannot query it it just gives you what it thinks you should do okay and then so the asterisk asked after insane battery capacity because yes i love the idea for the fm radio ai assistant because if you were not spending tokens is that what you use in ai We're not, you know, we're not destroying the world through too much over.

1:06:54We're not destroying the world with the overuse of AI and servers and graphics cards. We just kind of have one that's going on. It's the most environmentally friendly. It is the one AI for all of humanity. It will just be broadcasting. Kind of like Overlord vibes. I kind of like it. Kind of. Adam, I'm sorry. I really don't want to just like tear this thing apart, but I got to, we got to dive. By all means. First of all, this dial pad, right? Yes. There's two zeros on it. There are. What feature does this unlock for the user? When you press the second zero, it's just the number 10. What happens when you press the X?

1:07:29When you press the X, that's a custom function. It does all the numbers. Zero through 10. All right. Interesting. In between the compass and the side dial pad, there appears to be what is either an incandescent light or a second. but smooth dial pad. It is a smooth dial pad. It's a smooth dial pad. That's how you change functions on the iPad itself. Okay. Yeah. All right. All right. Okay. I think I'm starting to understand. Is there an FM radio? There is an FM radio. That's how you tune in to the AI. Right, right, right, right. And that's what the antenna is for. All right. This is starting to make sense.

1:08:06So it is just a case. It's a case. There is a power button on it. There is a power button. So is that the power for that? For the case. because iPads don't, like you can't just like run all the battery. It would just drain it. So it needs its own power source. So this is totally up my alley. I love these sort of expanded use products like this, but I will say my favorite thing where I think you've really outdone yourself is that Chrome kickstand. Yeah, buddy. Man, does that look sweet. And it folds all the way back. On this thing. A la Microsoft Surface. Like it just goes. Switch. Yeah, exactly.

1:08:38And switch. I like it. I like it. Marquez, you don't look impressed. My favorite part is the Mercury thermometer with no readouts on the side to tell what temperature it is. It's real Mercury, too. Awesome. Just in case you're wondering. Is that a Mercury? Now I feel like I got to look back. I thought that I said Mercury thermometer. Then I was like, I thought that was the one with the marbles. No, that's Mercury. I'm pretty sure that's the Mercury one. The glass ones with the liquid inside. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's a Mercury thermometer. Yum. So, Adam. Adam Adam Adam Adam we're trying to put this on shelves right this is a consumer product that has Teenage Engineering and Mischief two of the hottest design firms around right now what is your pitch to the consumer hype baby you could be the person walking around holding this oh that's what you think this is not an at home product no no this is a like big red boot kind of product I think whoever gave Marquez bubble wrap was a terrible idea I think the reason you shouldn't partner with Ellis is because he's asking questions like how do we market this it's with teenage engineering and mischief marketing is done the marketing is done already there's almost no point in doing this in fact the only way to sell this is through a lottery system on a temporary website that self destructs in less than 24 hours and through that website you actually just get mailed a physical raffle ticket.

1:10:11And if you are one of the numbers on that raffle ticket, then you are able to buy a box of Boy Scout Girl Scout cookies that includes the actual device side of it. Not Girl Scout cookies. Boy Scout brand Girl Scout cookies. Correct. It's like a Jozo's sort of situation. Got it. Okay. Yeah, I like that. That's interesting. I could see that. I think that's how we sell it. And then it's done. That's all we need. Yeah. No, this is a fully formed product. There's only 50 of them. Yeah, naturally. Profit margins are 10 to 50. Is there only a telephoto lens? There's only a telephoto lens. But there is a viewfinder so you can see it.

1:10:49So it's for bird photography. Yeah, yeah. Anything close enough to it will be paying too much attention to owl hosts and the cases. Why would you want to take a picture? What is wrong with our coworkers that 50 % of the products brought in were designed by Teenage Engineering and 50 % of the products brought in were specifically for bird photography? nothing says hype like bird photography it's true and orange and orange i i have a couple questions okay so obviously there's a lot of physical controls and things going on here do you have a price that you're aiming to hit when the ships no no it's raffle only so there's no revenue no the revenue is all of the millions of people that will be buying a raffle ticket oh so how much does a raffle ticket cost however much you want you tell me investors how much is a raffle ticket Interesting.

1:11:35I think we let them name their own price. With a minimum, of course. Minimum$2. At least, yeah. Okay, that's one question. The other question was going to be, you have all these things attached to it, but I'm trying to see if there's anything patentable, protectable here that couldn't be copied by our competitors, because I could see an LG or an OtterBox coming out with something in this same category. And I'm curious if you could defend this. No one's patenting that number pad because it's inherently wrong. You probably should patent it just to make sure they don't copy it. But I'm curious. We have spent the last several months buying up all of the Mercury that is commercially available.

1:12:21So no one else can get Mercury. Big Monopoly energy, okay. i like that how much does it weigh it weighs roughly three pounds okay yeah so it is carry depending on the size because with or without the ipad you can put an ipad in it ipad pro ipad pro 13 inch ipad mini depends on which one you want it's universal yeah you thought about it for all of it there you go love that kickstand i don't know why the kickstand is sick and it folds all the way up and you can wear it like a clutch that kickstand is actually very similar to the kickstand on your oneplus keychron keyboard it is yeah it's like almost exactly the same all Adam, hear me out.

1:12:56I'm on board. And if you go with me, here's how we're going to do this. We're going to do the raffle idea. I think that's a really excellent way to distribute the product. Thank you. I brought that up. The problem with people who pay for raffle tickets is that if they don't win, they effectively get nothing. I never said they'd get nothing. They'd get a sticker. Aiden, let me finish. Okay. Which is why I think the purchase of a raffle ticket should be through a crypto coin, a meme coin. because that way we are still able to deliver consumers absolutely nothing, but they at least think they have something.

1:13:34What do I get out of it? Can I pull something at the end of this? A rug pull? So I can get... Well, that's the beauty of this whole thing is you won't even need to do a rug pull because you're already providing nothing whatsoever. People driving are just like flinching every day. sorry i should not have given marquez bubble right that's my bad uh yeah no i'm i'm in i would like to be your investor i think as uh you know someone who works in audio i'm really i could i'd be great at communicating teenage engineering products as someone who likes bad stuff um i'd be really excellent at communicating this that's true uh i'm literally using a phone with as many buttons on it right now um and loving every second of it and loving every second of it and um and yeah i just think i would be the perfect person to guide you towards capturing all of the market share for a a camping case i think is what this sort of is the hype a hype camping case the hypeest the hypiest are there any plans for supporting android tablets what's somewhere down the line oh yeah for that i'm out i'm i'm thinking i like this there's a couple things that i really like that I think I could bring value to.

1:14:53One is I think I could sell a ton of raffle tickets for you. And I think you can get this in front of a lot of eyeballs. Two, I just like the aesthetic of the product, the presentation, the dynamic island in the middle. Everything is just working for me. I meant the dynamic island in the presentation, not in the product. I just think that's great. On the screen. And then I think, yeah, there's a little bit of room for extra little design touches. and I think I was actually picturing a hype video that I would be able to make for you that's just ASMR. It's just sounds. It's me pressing the buttons with a microphone super up close in 8K and just hearing the way every button and everything sounds when you use it and I think that would be incredible.

1:15:34So I think I could do that for you and we'd be able to blow this thing up. So where's taste come in? What am I tasting as part of this? Whatever you want. Mercury right there on the side. Yeah, Mercury.

1:15:46You know? Alright. Sorry, I forgot to tell you, if you want to screen record too, there's a big orange button. You just press that and it starts screen recording automatically. Wait, what's the eject button? The eject button is because this is also a CD player. Where? On the side. On what side? It's somewhere in here. That's the asterisk. Does it come with an ashtray? How does it charge? USB-A or USB-C? Micro USB-C. Micro B, yeah. Micro B! I got... I mean, Adam, it's the kind of thing where it's like I have infinite notes and at the same time I have no notes and I just really hope, you know, we've produced this podcast together for many years now and I hope that you can, you know, parlay that trust into letting me guide this product to success.

1:16:43Even though I don't see the tape player and I don't really want to lick it. I still think... That'll change. I could fit that in the ASMR video. So you've got two offers on the table. Andrew is out for the lack of Android support out of the gate, but you have an offer from Ellis and an offer from myself. No, no, no. Andrew is out because of the Android support. I see, I see. Because if something is compatible with Android, it is inherently not hype. It's one of those things where you have such a good product and the minute you try and expand into all those things, it's just going to be a money pit and we're going to go out of business.

1:17:14and I don't want to watch my money go down the drain like that. Pop incoming. Bingo! Oh my god. Sorry, Ellis. I'm just going to replace every single bubble wrap pop with the sound of a cat meow. Meow! Meow! I just like that you gave me bubble wrap and I want to work with you more. Alright, you know, you guys have made this decision quite tough. Yeah. But I think I have to go with Ellis. Wow. Ellis, you know, I made this intentionally with the buttons and knobs with you in mind, and I know that we can take this to the next level. I think you and I, you know, I think you and I can take anything to the next level, Adam, but this...

1:17:56Except this episode.

1:18:03If I see an ASMR video on this, I'll be sending a fake copyright strike, you know. unfortunately i also have all of these scores in front of me so ellis now that you have two votes for you andrew also has two votes it would appear that the shark who got the most people to partner with them is marquez with three partnerships nice it's almost like it's his show or something i could have had it all i offered to lick the mercury it didn't even work but i would have gotten something there amazing wow that's that was fun i'm glad we did that i I think there is a world where this concept gets expanded in a future bonus episode.

1:18:47I don't know exactly what that looks like. I could see this as a like maybe Ted this. OK, so none of us on the show knew any of these things. Yeah. It obviously was very meme focused, which I think we had a really fun time doing. I could see a version of this show where like, do people think of like real things? We always hear like, wouldn't that be so cool if this had that? and maybe there is a version of this where we like pitch it a little more seriously look at our emails and it's literally like we like we get this in email form that would be a banger episode of just taking some of the worst emails don't name anyone and like going through some email don't name it i'm not gonna name it but if it feels too specific you know maybe cut this i got an email for a power outlet that has a credit card swiper in it so that if you're like Like at a coffee shop, you can like charge people to charge their laptop or whatever.

1:19:40Oh, wait, that's a good idea. No, it's not a good idea. That's a good idea. It's a stupid idea. If I own a coffee shop, that's what I'm doing. Yeah, this is enterprise. Why? It's for commercial. When you hand the bartender your phone, you're like, can you charge this? You'd be like, hand me your credit card and we'll make this happen. And you make so much extra revenue. Exactly. People would do it. You'd make some external, you'd make some revenue on top. People would 100 % do that. Yeah. That's a good idea. I'm going to email them and invest that is not a good idea that is not a good idea this is why I said yes to everything for a month for that video I think we should probably have to do that again sometime yeah if you listen to the end of this episode send Marquez an email soon because he'll be saying yes apparently but if you also made it this far thank you that was purely experimental and super fun I don't know how much fun it was to listen to let us know which product you liked the best please and huge shout out to David Fedderspiel again he made all these concepts a long time ago but I'm glad we finally got them out into the real world and we'll be back with a normal episode where I'm not at this table on Friday we'll miss you Paul thanks for watching see you guys later peace peace wave form is produced by Adam Aline and Ellis Irvin we're partnered with Vox Media Podcast Network and our intro music is Vainso.

1:21:01Bingo!

1:21:17Mercury knows that to an entrepreneur, every financial move means more. An international wire means working with the best contractors on any continent. A credit card on day one means creating an ad campaign on day two. And a business loan means loading up on inventory for Black Friday. That's why Mercury offers banking that does more, all in one place, so that doing just about anything with your money feels effortless. Visit mercury.com to learn more. Mercury is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided through Choice Financial Group Column N.A. and Evolve Bank and Trust members FDIC.

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