CHER LLOYD EXCLUSIVE: THE TRUTH ABOUT X FACTOR WITH ONE DIRECTION! I REFUSED TO BE NOTHING.

36:10Saying that you lost it is a strong statement. Yeah. Could you expand on that? I felt like I wasn't, how do I say it without sounding? I felt like I was watching myself from the outside. Okay. And I was watching myself like spiral. I was spiraling. I was angry, really, really angry because all of a sudden it wasn't fun anymore. and every time I'd open my phone or I'd see a newspaper, it'd be some vile thing that someone's written about me that isn't true, and there's nothing I can do about it, because I couldn't speak up, I couldn't correct any of these things, and then all of a sudden it feels like the country dislikes me.

37:08But that wasn't me. that was the character that I was being portrayed as on a reality tv show yeah yeah I see it I see it and then on top of that you have no one to turn to no no because of course my my parents didn't know this industry if you're not in this industry you don't know what truly goes on no there were just so many different sides to it that I think at that age, I wasn't ready. I definitely wasn't ready. But then again, would I be ready mentally for something like that now? I'm not sure. Or is anyone? No. Because that's the other thing is I wasn't the only one that went through that.

37:57There were other people on that show that experienced the negative side of it. and of course it's show business i know that you take the good with the bad but sometimes things got really dark for me and i was only 16 years old 16 years old what about mental health support i mean i know a lot has changed in the industry in terms of reality tv over the years but 2010 what type of mental health support were you getting there was like a team of people like that um to support i was given antidepressants while on the show really i was 16 yeah and i was prescribed antidepressants while on the show I thought that was the norm.

38:53I guess this is showbiz. So you just take them? I, I, yeah, I felt like I had to because I, was it going to get better? Was it going to feel better? Was it going to stop? I didn't know. goodness you know so you have the issues that you're dealing with in terms of the press but also from what i understand and read there were challenges with the judges right yes as well yeah i think because i'd been given this sort of character on the tv show it made it easy for people to jump on the bandwagon because that happens right yeah you know once people start talking negatively about a person, it enables other people to chime in.

39:41And that often happened with me. And of course, it makes for great television. So yeah, I butted heads with judges on the show. More so when I left the show, especially as I'm older now and I'm wiser, I don't let people speak to me that way anymore. I don't stand for it. so on the show though because it's interesting when you think about a show like that the judge they're judges but at the same time i think at least i feel like they're presented as mentors yeah that's right so they're presented as okay i'm going to support you and i'm going to carry you through this journey that you're on did you feel like they were mentors or something else it's really tricky it's it it's a hard one because you know it's reality tv there's always some type of fakery when it comes to reality tv facts you know facts it happens yeah at the same time what i will say is when i was on the show cheryl was nothing but good to me and i had this feeling like she knew she she knew and she'd always ask me if i was okay really but i knew that she meant it i knew that when she said it she was actually saying are you okay yes like do you need help yes so i felt supported by her but everything else around i just felt like it was just for the show so me personally being in the mental state that i was in i didn't feel like i was taken care of if anything people just put fuel on the fire what was the the the intention right was the intention okay it's a show so it was like we're going to play up this villain angle yeah was it to turn you into the actual villain.

41:43I mean, what do you think it was? I do not know, but one thing that always blows my mind is that the whole purpose of this show is to sign a record deal to then go on and make records for a certain label attached to the X Factor. Yes. why make someone a villain when you have the potential to grow that artist to release records make loads of money and profit from the artist why stop them in their tracks when they're just getting started that blows my mind now because i'm like oh so for the tv show i was you know depicted as this character. But yet, once I leave this show, you're going to sign me and you want me to carry on releasing music, but you're turning the public against me.

42:42How am I going to do that? And how's that going to benefit you either? That doesn't make any sense. Right. And so that's what you felt. You felt like, okay, the public is against me. Yes. But the problem with me is that I never give up. It doesn't matter if I'm on the ground and I've got nothing left. I never give up. It's just, I think it's just ingrained in me just like to fight. Just fight until you've, you know, until you're beaten. That's it. Is that, do you feel like you were fighting with some of the judges in there too? Like the relationship with, as I looked at it, right? It's like the relationship with Simon seems to be you know good and solid and you know you listen right uh with with cheryl that was interesting i didn't realize that in terms of this tight connection it feels like it was that connection for what you're saying with louis we just butted heads we really did he didn't get me And that's fine, because not everyone is going to like me.

43:57I know I'm cool with that. We all deal with that, don't we? Not everyone is going to connect with you. That's fine. But he just took a disliking to me. But it was strong. And looking back on it, that's kind of weird. So do you think it was an actual disliking of you or a disliking of the villain character that they're presenting? Perhaps. But also people like to jump on the bandwagon because, you know, they want to be involved in that narrative. And I think he's known for doing that on several occasions, jumping on the bandwagon. Fair, fair. And there was another judge in there. Is it Natalie?

44:44Right. Yeah. So what was the relationship like with Natalie? Um, so she was there for my first audition and she's absolutely lovely. I didn't really get to speak to her. It's reality TV. Sometimes it looks like you have this relationship. They can make it look like you're really collaborating together, but that's just not the case. Wow. Okay. Magic of TV? Magic. Magic of TV? Yeah. So what was it like living with some of those artists? I mean, obviously, Liam Payne's been all over the news. Yeah. Saw that you had a very touching post on Instagram. Yeah. What was it like living with him and especially One Direction who went on to do, you know, phenomenal, phenomenal things?

45:34Yeah, I just want to say like One Direction, having my journey with them, I think really helped me. Honestly, I've never met such caring, lovely guys and young, they were young, same as me. but they were all such good people no ego decent people who loved to sing as much as I did and that's one of the biggest thing that I'd love to share about Liam he sung from his heart and it was a gift Liam had a gift and I just think I'll always remember that about him there was no one quite like him wow wow yeah you you know when i think back to you just saying you know i i really didn't have anyone to talk to it sounds like but you had them like that was pretty much all you had yeah you know yeah to lean on and we did have loads of discussion when it came to things that were happening in the moment.

46:53We were very close-knit. It was like this little family. And we had such fun. Like, oh, we'd get into the back of Addison Lees in taxis and we'd be, like, chased by paparazzi. And we all thought it was the funniest thing in the world. We would just be laughing. And then, you know, I remember lots of times And Zane would put on a song on his phone and we'd be singing along to the song. And like, it was almost like we had this like duo going on and it, yeah, just so many good memories, cooking together, listening to music, playing games, like a kid should be having fun. Yes. Those moments, those are the good memories.

47:40Those are the good ones. So that was almost, they became your family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like a little X-Factor family. Yes. Yeah, it was lovely. Yeah, I could see you light up, you know, talking about them. It makes me remember all the good points about being on the show. It wasn't all dark. It really wasn't. But getting to be with people my age as well. And I hadn't ever left my small town. And then all of a sudden I'm in London. I've met all of these new interesting cool people and I'm getting to know them and literally having the best time of my life some of the best memories of when we weren't filming and we were just hanging out hanging out what about the competitive yeah aspect because you're also competing with them but yet it seems like they're family it wasn't there okay it wasn't there you know like okay we'd have the show the live show and then it gets the results part and quite honestly we were all upset that one of us was going to go it was more like that feeling not like I really want to get through we had none of that energy none of that energy it was like oh I hope so and so is going to be okay if they get voted out because you just form this friendship and yeah the the competitive thing it wasn't really a thing it wasn't a thing that's interesting not with us no yeah yeah look at that look at that yeah I think that's lovely because you needed that I needed it.

49:30And, you know, I hate to think, what happens without that? Like, would you have even stayed without having some level of support like that? Yeah. Yeah. It got really dark sometimes. And people would say, oh, did you see what they wrote about you today? And it'd be like the strangest things. Like the strangest. Like, I remember they'd take photos from my social media of before I was on the show. There was one of, like, me and my sister. And all of a sudden, they've written in the newspaper that me and my sister were in a relationship together. Like, that we weren't, that she wasn't my sister. She was someone I was in a relationship with.

50:18just very very odd like plucking things out of nowhere once i was making a cup of tea at the itv studios okay and i'm really expressive when i talk i talk with my hands and a researcher asked me a question and i turned around to her and i had the spoon in my hand i just stirred the tea and i turned around i'm speaking back and i've got this spoon The next day, I'm in the paper. They've made it look like I've hurt her with this spoon. Made it look like I burnt this lady with this spoon. I was like, how can I win? How can I? Was anyone else getting the same type of coverage? I'm not sure, you know.

51:12Very selfishly, I was just focused on myself. You know, I was living it. I was focused on trying to avoid the backlash of like, oh, please, not another thing. Yes. I wasn't too focused on anyone else. I think maybe Wagner got a few negative things said, but nothing was quite like. What you got? The tone. The tone was like, the vibe was off. Yeah. It was really off. Can you believe that 80 % of relationships end in heartbreak or dissatisfaction? Do you want to know why? Because of the myths we believe about love. So much of what we've been taught is wrong. Like, true love means never feeling attracted to someone else.

52:04Myth. You should never keep secrets from your partner. Myth. And the big one, never go to bed angry. Another myth. That's why I wrote Keep Love, to debunk 21 of the biggest myths and replace them with actionable truths that actually help. To celebrate, I'm inviting you to an evening with me, Paul C. Brunson, on February 7th at Cadogan Hall in London. We'll unpack the biggest myths, explore the truths that strengthen relationships, and answer your questions in a live Q &A. Tickets are limited, so grab yours now from the link below. Dating can often feel like a lot of pressure, especially when we're focused on finding the one.

52:48But what if we change the narrative with the help of today's show sponsor, Tinder? A great date might lead to you learning a new skill or discovering a hidden gem in your city. You might even meet a new lifelong friend. Sometimes it's just about enjoying the moment and sharing an experience with someone new. Tinder is a place for all types of relationships. Whether you're looking for love, friendship, or simply a great date, It's designed to help you explore every possibility. Dating isn't about success or failure. It's about the journey. So take the pressure off, open your mind, and embrace the adventure.

53:24Wherever it takes you, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today and see where your next connection might lead. One of the most powerful pieces that I believe people thought that you did, and even from me watching, I thought as well, was when you sang stay. Yeah. Now, why was that so important? Yeah, that was hugely important for me. Because only a few days before that performance, I lost my uncle. My uncle passed away while I was on the show. And one really dark memory I have about that is that...

54:11Sorry. It's fair.

54:21Wow. Sorry. No. I told myself I'm crying.

54:34You know what, Cher? And there are tissues there if you like it. You know what? I think the beauty of a cry is you're just releasing the emotion. You know? My biggest problem is that I've always pushed things back. And I say to myself, I'll deal with that another time. But then I never do.

55:05Until it hits me and I'm like, where's this come from? from. I don't normally cry. You know, going back to why it's so good to release, is that I suspect that you spend your life taking care of everyone around you. I do. Yeah, I definitely do. And today is for us to take care of you. You know? Yeah. And this emotion that you're feeling connected to this song. And I want to talk about what I saw on this because one is it was beautiful. Thank you. I truly believe you have one of the most just angelic voices that I've heard. Thank you. I love it. I love it. At the very end of that solo, I see that you are holding back emotion the camera kind of turns but you could see it feels like you're letting it go so what was going on for you?

56:16So at that time a couple of days before that performance one of the researchers came into the house and said to me are we going to take you back home to do some filming? I was like you at home for the show i was excited like i've got to be honest i was thinking i haven't seen my family in weeks i'd love to go home and film so i was put on a train with this researcher it's a three-hour train journey she left me at the station in malvern and then when I got off the train there was no camera crew and I was like we're not filming I don't understand then I got off the train and my dad was there and he said I'm really sorry but he's he's gone and I just remember feeling angry that they made me sit on a train why did you make me sit on a train for three hours and tell me that I was going out to film to be left at a train station and told that my uncle had died and that it's going to be in the paper in the morning and I felt really horrible because my uncle's got kids and if it wasn't for me then it wouldn't be in the paper tomorrow and I'm really sorry I'm sorry because I chose to do the fame thing I'm sorry they didn't get their privacy because that was my fault and I feel really sorry about that Yeah.

58:10You hold this with you to this day? Yeah, massively. Because those children didn't deserve to have things written about their father in national newspapers just because I decided to be a singer. It's those parts of my job that hurt. Yeah. But Cher, I have to tell you, you didn't write those things. I know. I know. You were 16. Yeah. Those were adults. Yeah. That chose to write about those things. Mm-hmm. And they chose to steal that moment. They chose. That was not you making that choice. No. But I always think to myself, If I hadn't have chose to do this, to put myself forward, maybe it would have been different for people that I love.

59:17Maybe they wouldn't have felt hurt watching me go through all of it. But I can't live my life for others. No. I can't. No. You have to live your life considering others, considering everyone that you love. Yeah. But at the same time, you have to live life pursuing your passions and the talents that you were blessed with. Absolutely. I wish I could sing half as good as you. You know what I mean? Actually, just a quarter of it. And you know what's terrible, Cher? To me, it seems like when you left X Factor, it just got worse. You know, it just, just, just, just exacerbated. At that time, what's next?

1:00:06What immediately happens? Because you're fourth. Everyone in the UK knows you. Many people in Europe and the States, etc. So the world is beginning to know. Yeah, it trickles. Share a lot. What do you do next? So I got signed to Psycho. Okay. And that was a deal that was probably written in from the get-go that Psycho then have the first choice of taking you on as an artist. So therefore, straight off the back of the show, sign to Psycho. I then go and I write a record. And I write this album. And to be honest, a lot of it is a blur for me. I don't know why my mind does that. But I tend to lose my memories a lot.

1:01:00Okay. Which is strange. It's probably to do with all the trauma of, you know, having children and this career that's just been. Yes. Some of my memory is not good. But yeah, lead the show. I go and record this record. And then we released the first single, Swagger Jagger. Swagger Jagger. Oh, boy. Wow. Oh, boy. Wow. Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you have to say about Swagger Jagger? can we talk about the pros and cons yes of swagger jagger where do you want to go first pros or cons the pros the pros okay one of the top selling songs can we say uk charts in the us yeah okay so this is a global hit right okay positive positive represents the tone and the and the vibe of the moment.

1:01:57Yeah. You captured that Cher. Yeah. You wrote that. Yeah, co-wrote it. You co-wrote it? Yeah. Come on now. The voice on it, how do you feel about it?

1:02:13Remember, these are pros. I mustn't laugh because, of course, this is my song and it's part of my journey. But as a first song, risky as a first song. Risky. It's a bit risky. But that's you. You're, you know. Yeah. Bold. I couldn't have been boring and released a ballad or something like that. It just wouldn't have worked. So I just feel like I just kicked the door open. Here's Swagger Jagger. Okay. You kicked it wide open. So those are pros. Yes. What are the cons?

1:02:48The cons were that it totally fit that narrative. that I had given me on the show. So it was like this gateway into, you know, oh, she's a brat, she's this, she's that, into, you can't stop looking at me. I mean, could you get more bratty than that? You can't. Swagger Jagger is so full of itself, it's untrue. Like, it's unreal. But I still feel like it's such an anthem. And I am going to be proud of that song forever, even though it does tend to make me cringe. Okay. Because it's not where I am artistically now. Yes. So there is that sense of, you know, yeah. Yeah. Will you ever perform that song again?

1:03:47it has to be the right moment and the right vibe for me to perform that song okay because it takes a lot out of me um because like i said it's just not artistically where i'm at right but it seems like the the the emotional connection to it is that it takes you back to that time it does and that time the song comes out but it feels like you get labeled yeah what i mean you tell me what how did you feel like uk media was labeling you just as this cocky arrogant 16 year old that had this huge chip on her shoulder um part of that was true okay it was and be accountable for my behavior yes because a lot of the time i did have this grudge this grudge for the way that i'd been treated and i wanted almost people to move get out my way while i chase my dream because you're being mean to me and it's getting in my way um but i also was struggling with like identity at that time, being 16 years old.

1:05:11I hadn't seen enough of the world. I hadn't had any life experience. True. Like, if I was to meet a 16-year-old now, as a 31-year-old, I'd probably be like, oh, and they're naive, aren't they? Oh, look how young they are. They've not got a clue what the world's like right but they think they do of course and you have fame and you have popularity as well because even though there's a lot of negative attention around you yeah let's face it there were more people who loved you thank you thank you for saying that because a lot of time i do feel like when my name comes up that negative seems to be one of the first things yeah it's like oh, Sher Lloyd.

1:06:03Oh, yeah. People hated her. Sometimes people don't even know the reason why. I think it was a trend. It was cool. It was cool. It was cool to hate Sher Lloyd. It was cool. But if we can even spend a moment on that, and even thinking about being a woman in the music industry, it's tough. Especially then, right? And I say especially then because it's tough now. I think we often hear people say, oh, you know what, women are on the rise, like women. Yes, but we still live in a patriarchy. And you think 2010, you know, doing research for this, I went back and I looked at interviews, some of the questions, not so many of the questions that you got.

1:06:54It's like you would never have received those questions if you were a man. I wish I had a list of the things they used to ask me because they'd just be insane. Yeah. I mean, what are some of them that you were asked that you know would never be asked today? They used to ask me the most horrible questions. I never felt like it was about my talent. Yeah. Well, I tell you, from my observation, some of the questions that I saw that you would get, a lot was about you dating. Always. Yes. always you're so it wasn't you know what's the next album what's the next song are you touring it is well who are you with who you with who you seeing yes you know we saw you pictured with this person are you guys hooking up i didn't care about men or boys at that time i did not care about men at all.

1:07:51I was there to be a star, to have an opportunity to share my voice. Yeah, it was always questions like that towards the girls. The girls, yes. And it felt like there was this emphasis for the girls to be sexualized. Hugely. And I would imagine that there was enormous pressure on you. Yes, absolutely. Even at the tender age of 16 years old, I'd be dressed in outfits that I don't feel were appropriate. That wasn't appropriate. I've always dressed a little bit masculine. That's just how I always like to dress. I like baggy clothes. You know, I love trainers, chunky boots. I'm not much of a heel person.

1:08:46But some of the outfits that they put forward for me to wear, I'd be like, my dad will go crazy if I wear that. He will not be happy with that. That's not appropriate. I was a child. But you're still being asked to do it. And is the thought, dress like this, sell more albums, or dress like this? Of course. Okay. But that's been that way forever, and it's still around now. It's still around now. I could tell you the craziest stories of the stuff that's been said to me, or the things that have been taken away, because I refused to go and hook up with people. Like what? What's been taken away? So I remember once while I lived in the US and I was promoting my album in the US, I walked into the record label at the time and they hadn't given me a promotional budget to promote this album.

1:09:46We spent millions on this album, but there's no budget to go get people to hear it. Right. So I walk in and I say, look, I really need some cash to try and push this record. Basically told no. But what I needed to do to make this record take off is hit some of the clubs and they'll find out where Bieber is. And I should go try get with him. With Justin Bieber? Yes. Now this is going back years ago. Yeah. Years ago. I was a teenager, but I was very much with my husband at that time. He was even stood in that office. While I was told they weren't going to spend any money on the album, pushing the album, but I was to go hook up with someone mega famous and basically leech off the back of someone else's fame.

1:10:47Was I not good enough? was I not good enough to invest in that you would rather use me in that way yeah you know so this is not to me it's not it like it's one is it's super bizarre crazy horrendous yeah doesn't feel far fetched for the industry but what seems wild is your husband was in the room yeah they didn't care In fact, I remember me and Craig were about to get married and I was told by people on my team, do not let the label know because they will do anything to stop this marriage. Because the way that they thought about me getting married is that once I'm married, I'm off the market. Okay.

1:11:47I hate that. I hate that because I'm not a singer because I want to sleep around. Right. And I want to be in different celebrity relationships. I met a guy when I was 17 and I'm married to him now, have been for the last 11 years. I had no intention of leeching onto males, male singers to try and gain a career. I'm not interested. Yeah, it's... Wow, the fact that they... Like, I didn't even realize that they would be so direct about it. I thought they would just maybe set it up, but they were saying, go do that. Is the idea, we just need to get this photo of the two of you, or do you believe that they wanted something else, they wanted you to do something else?

1:12:33When it's that typical major label vibe, I might get in trouble for saying this, but it's always easier to get the artists to do the work and, you know, that way than actually put money forward to push an album the right way. All right. So not to put words in your mouth, but what I'm reading, it's easier for you to go have relationships. Of course. all types of relationships whatever that may be yeah and then that story becomes so you know yeah and that was that was the sentiment that was it that was the theory behind getting me to go and do that interesting so so being in the industry so this is good i feel like we're getting a peek into the industry what happens it sounds like you're saying this happens this is happening and it happens over and over again of course i've gone into labels where they told me that my skirt's not short enough as a teenager literally a teenager you need to show a little more skin what do you mean show a bit more skin right that's gross gross we're not selling right i'm selling music and i'm a human being you know like i don't that feels gross yes like i said to you before when i think about having daughters if anyone ever suggested that to one of my girls yeah yeah you'd go off no way you'd go off yeah so you just mentioned that you were in the U.S.

1:14:20Really moved there. Why the U.S.? So what happened is I was over in the U.S. writing for an album and I met some incredible people while I was there, mainly in Los Angeles. I met a lot of really talented producers and songwriters and it just kept opening doors for me that's it happened organically we released a song called want you back which we'd already released here in the uk it did okay but didn't move much you know but we released in the u.s and it just took off interesting yeah yeah i also didn't realize it wasn't methodical this whole time i thought that you had calculated this it was like we're going to build up here and then go no it was just it was just it just happened very naturally um i can't say that there was ever any pressure on me to try and break the u.s no one had had that conversation with me okay it just happened but it happened at the perfect time for me as a person.

1:15:30I needed a break. I needed a sign to tell me that you can do this. This is what all this hard work has been for. The US market did give me peace. It did? That was my peace. Wow. Yeah. so you go to the u.s yeah and you do well in the u.s yeah so how would you describe doing well i mean for you like because as as an artist i think it's different from uh so my background is finance i'm like okay how much money did you make in the u.s but i'm not asking you that but it's like because you did do well so how do you consider what you did there to be it was good it was the energy the energy felt different all of a sudden everyone wanted me to do well it was that feeling of we're rooting for you from the u.s okay and um although i felt a lot of that here in the uk at times people really like are we really like you we want you to do well but I'd never quite felt it on the level that I did while I was in the US.

1:16:47Just cheerleaders, total cheerleaders, just like, oh, we've got this British girl here and she's taken off and we love her. We support that feeling of truly being respected as well. I loved it. I loved every second of it. Best years of my life. Really? Yeah. So energy is good. Yeah. You're touring. You're writing new music. Collaborating with different artists. Living in Hollywood at the time. Yeah, yeah. Okay. What was it like living in Hollywood? Is it as wild as people say it is? I didn't belong there. I didn't. I felt alien living in Hollywood. I'm going to be truthful. I did. I grew up on a council estate.

1:17:40Like, we'd smash through people's windows with footballs accidentally, you know? And then I'm walking out on the streets of Hollywood to palm trees and everything is pristine. It's a different life. But I also used to feel guilt. I felt a lot of guilt because that's not where I'm from. Like, my family don't live like that. So it'd make me feel guilty. Why? I don't know. It's a strange thing that I've always had since I've had a career and this life. Of course I feel blessed, but I also sometimes feel like other people don't get this. and I feel guilty. Do you feel as if you were worthy?

1:18:32I feel like someone like me shouldn't have. You know? I often think what life would have been if I didn't have this life. Yeah. That hit me when you said that. Someone like me shouldn't have this. who's someone like me

1:18:57oh I just yeah where I come from and that world that I used to be in like what are the chances of a girl like me ever reaching this point in my career 15 years later and I'm still going Yes. Yes. You're in Hollywood feeling guilty that you're in Hollywood, feeling alien, but yet it's the best time of your life. Yeah. That's really interesting to think about. Yeah, I feel like success is subjective. Because what's successful for me might not be success for you. It was because I had this sense of feeling respected. And I felt like people were invested in me as an artist. That to me was true success.

1:19:56Yes. So this reminds me, there's a respected, we don't feel as if we are an asset to it, our well-being, our mental health is going to be off. And this is the reason why where we work, our home life, where we live, why it's so important for us to feel as if we are conducive to it. We are adding some type of value to it. And it feels like here you were. And it's Bentley, but then has you come back to the UK? I had to come home. You had to come home. I had to come home. I needed to be home. I just felt like as much as it's been a rocky road here in the UK, I still want to be here. I want to release music here.

1:20:48I really want to be loved by the UK. I'm just being honest. I do. I want to be loved by my country. The US was great, but what I want more than anything is love from my own country. Do you feel as if your country loves you? Do you know what? I feel like things have turned for me, and they're starting to turn, because I feel like people are now just starting to get to know me. Yes. which has felt so good like it's refreshing for me to be able to have the ability to reintroduce myself yes because it's been so long since anyone's really heard of me and it feels good no one's controlling the narrative i'm just me and you're in your back Yep.

1:21:44You're back. So now that you're back, what's the plan professionally? Yep. So for me, professionally, I feel like I've been held back from even being able to release music. Often people think that there is no music and I need to go and write music. I've got a computer full of records. Do you? I've probably got about 50 songs that are ready. They could be released tomorrow. But being on a major label was very restrictive for me. Having to go through that process of getting approval from multiple people and they have to figure out their budget and their PR and this and that. We live in times now where you could just drop a record.

1:22:43You could do that. You could. Nothing's stopping you. Nothing. We have social media at our fingertips. And major labels lean on that more than ever anyway. So for me, being an independent artist now and having complete control over everything that I do is the best for me. It's the best. Yes. And when you're on stage, you can see it. You transform. Yeah. You know, there was a, it was, you want to say it was Taylor Swift. Yes. You own that. Thank you. You owned it. What a moment to say that I've, I've performed with Taylor Swift. The Taylor Swift. My daughter. Wait, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

1:23:30Wow. No, no, hold on for a second. Hold on for a second. Taylor Swift. she performed with Cher Lloyd. Oh, stop. I'm saying. Can we get what she did? How did that come about? I just had a phone call one day. I think my manager called me and she was like, you're not going to believe this, but Taylor's performing at the Staples Center and she wants you to come on and sing your song. My mind was blown. Absolutely blown. And then I went into this state of panic, like, oh, huge arena with the Taylor Swift. I'm going to be performing my song with her. Like, what in the world is this? I loved every second.

1:24:17She was the sweetest person I think I've ever met. She baked me, like, they looked like scones, but they were like biscuits. Yeah, we were biscuits. Yeah. And when she said, oh, I baked you some biscuits, I thought like biscuits as in. Biscuits, like cookies, like cookies. And I looked at them and I thought, oh, they're funny looking biscuits. But how sweet of her to take time, even when she was on a tour, to take time. She baked me biscuits. Okay. Were they good? They were. They were good. They were because I thought it was going to be like a traditional cookie and it wasn't. But they were lovely.

1:24:56And she was just so welcoming. Again, just undeniable, a star. A star. Incredible story. And you know why she took that time? Because she was baking those biscuits for Cher Lloyd. It's incredible. Yeah, but because of you. I mean, it's important, I think, to stop and love on yourself and appreciate, you know, who you are, what you've gone through. We have to give ourselves license for this. And what I can see already is that you don't give yourself license to stop and say, wow, look at this. Look at what I've done. Look at where I am. Look at what I'm doing for myself, for my family, for my community.

1:25:45I think it's healthy to stop and love on yourself. Yeah, I've just never been good at that. I really haven't. I just, I never feel or know if it's good enough. Never had that sense of feeling like I am good enough. It's just never come to me. It's never come to you? No. Despite all that you've done? Everything that I've done. I self-sabotage. what's something that you're proud of it could be the most simple thing that you did yesterday it could be something monumental what's something that you're proud of i'm a great mom i know i'm a good mom because my kids tell me i'm a good mom i know it and that's the one thing that i can just say like that and i think it's because i'm fiercely protective of my children and us you know when you become a parent you you have this huge responsibility right taking care of these children you don't quite realize what fire it ignites in you to love and nurture and be someone's everything.

1:27:07I am my children's world, so I give them the worlds. Yes. I have to. And it's just having kids changed me. Yes. It really did. It made me such a better person. Is it happy? I'd say happy. It's happy. It's happiness. It's happiness. I found happiness in my children yeah you found happiness in your children yeah so to revel in that is to tap into the emotion and say i'm a proud mom and that makes me happy and just to spend a moment saying and i feel happy yeah about that right yeah to tap into what the emotion is it's so important for us to name the things and i think that little exercise helps yeah because then you can say i'm I'm happy.

1:27:59So here's my, I'm already going to give you an exercise. Every day, every day, I want you to identify three things that you're proud of. Okay. And it could be something in the moment. Right before we started this, you did something that I loved. And I was like, yeah, she's a great mama. You know what you did? You said, he better be picking up the kids right now. It's me. I'm always look at my phone, check the time. What's going on? Where are my kids? Yep. All right. So you're proud of that, right? So identify three things every day, three things. And you know what that is? It's a gratitude exercise.

1:28:37And when you give yourself more gratitude, that's you loving on yourself. You have to give yourself more gratitude. I can see that. You do. You deserve it. You deserve it. Let's talk about, we've already kind of gone there. We kind of flirted with your husband. Yeah. Flirted with the topic of your husband. Yeah. So you said 17, you were married. 17. I was 17 when I met Craig. Met Craig at 17. Yeah. Married at? 20. 20. I know everyone's like, wow. Yeah. That's young. Yeah. Pop star. Yeah. Right. People are out here trying to get you to connect with Beaver. Yeah. What was it about Craig? Confidence.

1:29:32He had such confidence, but no arrogance. And that's what, there was just something about him. I just, I couldn't put my finger on it because I'd met so many different people, especially just coming off of a show. everybody wants to connect with you yes but i was in london and i was getting my hair done in a hair salon and he worked there and i remember locking eyes with him and thinking he looks so cheeky it's just this sort of rugged looking guy chill really cheeky and he flirted a it and I thought I like him I like him really down to earth he had a thick Essex accent just something about him yeah and so what did you do what's funny about this is I left my phone number at the front desk for him because he'd he'd already left and it just so happened that he had also left his number at the front desk for me.

1:30:48Perfect match. Perfect. He felt the same way. So then we did, you know, the regular thing of like messaging each other. At the time it was BlackBerry Messenger and we BlackBerry Messenger each other for weeks until I was like, I have to meet this guy. And we met, we had the most amazing conversations. like I felt like he didn't judge me he never judged me and I don't feel like he cared for the fame side I really don't he's always been like that he just wanted to know me on a deeper level and that's why I wanted to carry on seeing him because he was unfazed by it he really was he was Yeah. You're married at 20.

1:31:4020, yeah. Did you feel as if that was young or age played no part at all? No part at all. I knew that I wanted to be with him. And what's been consistent throughout our relationship is that we never give up on each other. no matter what comes to our door what situation we have to deal with we are a team but we do not give up and it's been like that since the day we got together wow how old was he when you were married he was 23 23 so only only three years so he's young you know as as well yeah how how does he how did he manage and even continue to manage the attention that you were getting especially requests like, I know, you know, date this other guy.

1:32:35There was a series on YouTube that I was watching where there were lots of press. Like, I think you were in New York. And what I distinctly remember is, is he was holding your hand. You were walking in and out of buildings, right? And many people were stopping you. A lot of men were stopping you. And they would just, Craig was holding your hand, but they would just kind of grab you to take the photo. And he would just stand to the side. But he's watching, but he would stand to the side respectfully. How does he manage all of this? And I feel like that's a special, special person to be able to do that.

1:33:18A million percent. And that really does sum him up, is that he does step to the side to let me shine. and I've always respected that about him, is that he understands with my career, this is how it is. I'm often not going to feel present for you all of the time, because my job means that other people need me, they want me, and he's always been so good with stepping to the side and letting me be a star, which not too many people would be okay with that. But he has that confidence. He is sure of himself. He's secure. He's a very secure man. And I think that's what's made it possible for him to roll with this for years.

1:34:19Just roll with it. and be a true supporter of me. That's what he's been, a rock, someone that is always there consistently that I can run to when I need help. He is that. And I wish that I had him when I was back going through all that hard stuff at the beginning of my career. Yeah, but you have him now. I have him now. I won't let go. Yeah. You have them now. That's a very special relationship. And then the two of you then start creating babies. Yes. Yes. How does motherhood change you? It's changed my whole outlook on life. The things that used to matter to me don't matter anymore. That's what happens, doesn't it?

1:35:17it shifts and you just view the world differently. You want to protect your children from everything. I just want to protect them. I want to love them. I want to give them the best life. And yeah, I just, they are the best thing that ever could have happened to me. they really are yes how how do you think that having children now and you have this wonderful partner how does that now impact the next phase of your career yeah how does it how does it do that i'm stressed i'm stressed out all i keep thinking is how am i going to do this because the mental load already for a mother is just is through the roof the lists, the constant lists the being needed all of the time by two small children but then at the same time I still have to chase my dream I have to because also my children need to see me fulfill my dreams that's important two girls watching their mother succeed.

1:36:41Yes. But I would, I would argue that the pursuit of your dream is succeeding in your dream. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's not the destination. No. It's the journey. It is. And just those two little girls watching their mom on the journey, that's the win. That's the win. That truly is. and the fact that if you would have asked me this question a year ago when I had a newborn, I would have said, I can't do it. I can't do any of this anymore. I just need to be at home with my children. I was mentally not in a good place. And I don't think I would have ever had an ounce of confidence in myself to ever step back out on a stage.

1:37:31What was it about a year ago that put you in that space? So after I had my youngest daughter, Eliza, I'd heard about postnatal depression before, but I didn't understand what it meant for someone to go through it. So what I first started experiencing was real loneliness, but also I doubted myself in everything that I was doing. And I had this overwhelming fear that something was going to happen to my baby. And it started affecting my mental health severely. I had the shakes all the time. I felt sick all the time I couldn't sleep I couldn't eat it was the worst time of my life when it was supposed to be the happiness I I can't believe I made it through that time it was awful I even had situations where I'd be walking down the street with my baby in the pram and I had visions of cars driving into her.

1:38:53They came out of nowhere. Postnatal depression shook me to my core. And to be honest, it's made me feel like I can't imagine having more children. I can't go through that again. Awful. This is something that is not talked about enough. No. How did you come out the other side? It took me a really long time. I felt like I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't know who I was anymore, to be honest. I really didn't. I completely lost myself. And that's why when you asked me what I was proud of, I say being a mother, Because even though that was the hardest time of my life, my children were always safe.

1:39:50I protected them. And they always came first. Even though my mental health took the biggest blow ever. And I think the only way out of it was one time I needed time. I put too much pressure on myself after I had my baby. The pressure to bounce back, which I think is ridiculous. Women do not need to bounce back after pregnancy. That should not be a thing. And I hate that that's pushed on to women. What I feel new mothers need to do is to give themselves a break. Take time for you. and I wish someone could have told me that it was going to be alright and that being a mother is hard. It's really hard.

1:40:55But there is a light at the end of the tunnel and whether that be picking up the phone and calling your GP. Call your GP. tell them that you need help and they will help you i did it they helped me and now i'm in such a better mental state yeah you know what you just said is profound because we have to remember especially in traumatic experiences we feel like we're alone totally in it we have to understand that we are never alone and help is a call away it is it is a message away it is expressing to your loved ones i don't feel okay yeah that is the beginning of you saving your life it really is it really is because when i was in the middle of feeling these thoughts I didn't know what was real and what was not and it was scary I wanted to protect my children so badly I thought I honestly I thought that bad things were going to happen to my kids there's no worse feeling than that ever never and I just want to say like if there's other people who feel like this and something doesn't feel right it's not sitting right you have to you have to call you have to tell someone you have to you have to yeah thank you thank you for for sharing that because postnatal depression does not get an enough uh dialogue but in particular that so many women go through this yeah right and so therefore you are not alone Yeah.

1:42:55You know, thinking about relationships, right? We've talked about, you know, you're a phenomenal mom, right? You have a phenomenal husband, but I have a feeling you're a phenomenal wife as well. Thank you. Okay. So we have all of those things. There's another relationship, and this is the relationship that I'm disturbed about. Okay. This is your relationship with social media. Cher, we need more of you. We need more of you. This is my issue. We want more of you. I know you do. Yes. I know. Where are you with social? I'm actually really glad that you brought this up. Okay. Because this is something I do need help with.

1:43:36Okay. I really do. Okay. Now, I would love to share more of myself, but I'm afraid. I'm scared. I'm scared of what people are going to say, what I'm going to read, the response do I want to put myself back in the position the 16 year old me was in I'm afraid and I'm taking baby steps and even today I started filming just on my phone I'm going to film some stuff I'm going to try and put an edit together and I'm going to post it but I can't tell you if I'm going to be brave enough to post it because I'm afraid. You know what's so I think sad is that you have so much to share but at a tender age of 16 you were traumatized.

1:44:42Yeah. And you were traumatized in a way that very few people will ever feel. Yeah. Because it's one thing to have negative pieces written about you, but it's another for that to have happened in 2010. Yeah. It's another for that to have happened in 2010 and be a woman. Absolutely. It's another for that to be 2010, a woman. You were in an incredibly difficult situation that many people, from my opinion, took advantage of. yeah okay so that's trauma but we know that we can heal through trauma and there are certain steps that we can take i think that exercise that i gave you around gratitude and being proud i think that helps quite a bit around helping to fight against self-doubt right so that's one way that will help you another is by doing more of this yeah allowing people to see you for who you are yeah you know in this you have been eloquent you've been insightful it feels like there's an empowerment message absolutely in there there really is the new song that i wrote head down I that is an empowerment anthem for me I was able to just let out everything I feel there's a lyric in the song where I say they said that I'd amount to nothing if I don't show a little something I guess that everybody does it like what?

1:46:28what on earth? I didn't do that I didn't you know do things that i didn't feel comfortable with but i'm still here 15 years later that's right i didn't need to do that you did you didn't and you're now opening a whole new chapter of your life yeah a whole new chapter i'm so excited like i finally feel like i'm in the best headspace I've been in for years. I feel happiness. Yes. Happiness. So anything more for now. Wow. Yeah. It's like you have the whole cake and now you're just putting icing all over it. That's it. It's time to decorate the cake. Yes. Yes. And I think you're going to decorate it beautifully.

1:47:24Thank you. Yes. So then I have one final question for you. This is the question that everyone gets. It's my favorite question, actually. But if you think back to all the conversations that you've had throughout your life, many, many, many, what was the most memorable conversation? Who was it with and what did you learn? I'd say that the most memorable conversation I've had was a childhood conversation that I had with my nan. And this was just around the time that I was taking off on the show. And she sat me down and she said to me, your life is going to change. Everything's going to change. And she told me how much she loved me.

1:48:26And I just remember sitting there and thinking, yeah, this is going to happen now. My whole life is going to change. And she spoke to me about being a decent person and protecting myself and not forgetting where I come from. and that's always sat with me too is to not forget where I came from but I mean there's been so many conversations with people so many but just that you know what I've found in in asking this question now to many many guests is typically it goes back to a close family member and more often than not it goes back to nans really yes yes it's i find that to be it's one of those things that i i now have thinking okay we i i need to research this because if there's something about the wisdom and the love the unconditional love that you get from a grandparent that is just without question life-changing.

1:49:43And even to go back to our initial conversation about the Broma community is I'm walking away with how beautiful the family connection and dynamic is. The fact that you live down the street or you live with a parent and you live down the street from an uncle, etc. because the way that the world is shifting is we're moving away from that we're moving to a place of more and more individualism yes where we're moving away from all communities we're moving away you know and there's a price that you pay for for for that my family almost entirely lives in the united states i live across the the pond yeah and there is a price that I pay.

1:50:31There's a price that my wife pays. There's a price that my sons pay by not having their family with them. And as a society, we need to place more value on our family. A million percent. I really feel that. And for me, moving back to the UK was a huge, that was a huge reason for moving back to the UK. I am really grateful that my children get to grow up with their grandparents around, it's priceless. You could have all the money in the world. You could have huge, sprawling mansions, but having people, people, that is priceless. And that's what I'm interested in. That's the most important thing for me, is people and relationships.

1:51:20Yes. Yes. Fair enough. Yeah. Share. This has been better than I thought it was going to be. I was so excited for you to come because I, you know, wasn't here in the UK. So I wasn't a part of the X Factor moment as everyone. But I'm telling you, the moment, the moment I saw you walk on that stage and you turned your swag on. The moment you turned your swag, I was like, I love her. I love her. And you did not disappoint. Thank you. You did not. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Can I say one of my favorite episodes? And as always, I have some takeaways that I like to share. In particular for Cher, there are three.

1:52:09The first is that Cher's story is a testament to the power of unwavering belief in yourself. As a teenager, faced with laughter and doubt, she boldly declared, I'm going to be a star. Even when dismissed, her vision remained crystal clear. On lunch breaks, she'd return to her karaoke machine, honing her craft with relentless focus. Her journey shows that persistent vision and self-confidence can drive success, even when others doubt you. Let her story remind us, if your dream is unshakable, no external opinion can hold you back. The second takeaway is that before this interview, I didn't fully grasp how debilitating postnatal depression can be.

1:52:52Listening to Cher's story gave me a new understanding of its weight and its hope. She shared how overwhelming motherhood can feel, but also that there is light at the end of the tunnel. She said, pick up the phone, call your GP, tell them if you need help, and they will help you. I did it. They helped me too. If you're struggling, know that reaching out for help is a brave and vital step forward. We've included resources in the show notes because you don't have to face this alone. And the last but not least takeaway is that often the greatest validation comes from the people who matter most. Being told you're a great mom, as we would say in the States, or you're a great mum, as we say here in the UK, by our children gave Cher unshakable confidence in her parenting.

1:53:42It's a reminder of the profound responsibility and fire that parenthood ignites. The drive to love, protect, and nurture. When loved ones affirm us, it reinforces the impact of our care and strengthens our belief in ourselves. Their words can serve as powerful proof of the love and dedication we give. As always, thanks for watching and I can't wait to see you next time. And just remember, around 9 in 10 of you watching these videos aren't subscribed yet. Now, no pressure at all, but if you're enjoying the content, subscribing is a super simple way to stay connected with us, and it also helps a ton when growing the channel.

1:54:22We also look at every comment, so make sure you comment with your guest ideas below, and we'll get your favorite guest on our future episodes. Every episode of this podcast comes to life with the help of Adobe Express. the quick and easy create anything app from Adobe, even if you don't have any design experience. I couldn't be more grateful for how much making this podcast lights me up. Getting to have these conversations, sharing stories and connecting with you all, it's the work that makes me feel truly alive. But finding that kind of work doesn't happen overnight. I've taken risks, switched lanes and followed paths that have felt uncertain, all in the hope of doing something meaningful.

1:55:01Whether you're launching a new business, starting a side hustle or simply putting your ideas out into the world, you've got to be willing to take that first step. And Adobe Express is the tool that helps make those steps easier. It's got ready-to-go templates and AI-powered features to create professional designs, social media posts, and logos in minutes, whether you're an amateur or a seasoned designer. It's free to try. Just search Adobe Express and see where it takes you.

1:55:34Thank you.