Harry Jowsey: I've Made Millions From ØnlyFans But Here's Why I'm Deleting it!

11:24Harry Jowsey:Heartbreak Island.

11:24Paul C. Brunson:Yeah. And don't watch it. Look, and I'm going to talk shit. So long ago, but I don't even know the show concept. I think they're just like, island, people dating, maybe Survivor, whatever else. Let's just throw it at a wall and figure it out. Like it was one of those shows that had literally no compass. Yeah, we didn't know what was going on.

11:48Harry Jowsey:But that was your first show. That was the one. So in that first show, were you thinking that you would be helping other people? you would be making other people laugh, that you wanted to pursue this as a career, or was it fun?

12:02Paul C. Brunson:No, it was, the goal was make my friends laugh and make myself laugh. Like, no, I was purposeless, I think, at university. I was being told that that's what I should do. Like, I should go, you have to go to university, you have to do this. Like, family business, like, you should do that. And I think it was in the pursuit of making my dad proud, to be honest, because he would always pump it up that my brother's at university and my sister went back for university, like he would always pump it up. So I think I was in the pursuit of making him proud, but not making myself proud. So then once I did that show and I saw my friends calling me, like, why would you do that?

12:40Paul C. Brunson:That was cool because I'm like, oh, people, I actually don't care if you're laughing at me or with me as long as you're laughing. Like that's the goal. And so after that show... But can I ask though, how did your parents respond to that show? oh they're just like he's so funny yeah oh really yeah no they're because it's it's like cool brownie points with their pet uh with their friends so like they they couldn't see it originally in australia because it had it wasn't airing over there but when it did like and it was in the newspaper and stuff like it was that was cool like that was a cool moment where they're like oh wow like this is this is something but then when uh so after that show i had that itch i was like i have to do another one like this is so fun like i love this stuff i love entertainment i was applying for everything i have a uk passport so i'm like i was going through the ranks for love island uk okay and i was meant to be on it what year was this i think it was the tommy fury year okay oh my god this is and molly may as i was applying for that the guy who was doing it sam king casting love him he was like hey we have this other show can't tell you who it's for or what it is you have to trust me that it's way better for you and bigger and better and i was like okay sweet no idea and then i fly out to mexico like my friends were freaking out like you don't know who it's for just signed a contract for an entitled dating show like no no clue okay we get to mexico and um my producer says me and she's like this is for netflix and i was like okay it doesn't phase you yeah i was like i don't have a netflix account is that going to be good and they're like the biggest streaming platform on the planet i'm like oh well sounds pretty good like am i still going to be on tv like yeah but it's the streaming's and i'm like whatever i don't care it's like one of their first ever reality shows so it was like super top secret and i'm like i literally don't care it's going to have fun so then that show happened and that aired in covid which was obviously a horrible time but to be on a tv show the greatest thing that could have ever happened because everyone's at home everyone's watching a show and everyone wants something to complain

14:44Harry Jowsey:about and that was this guy and that was you yeah so too hot to handle you don't know what the show is do you know what so what is your objective though with the show is it still make my friends

14:57Paul C. Brunson:laugh be a meme be a meme that was a that was a goal that was it yeah i remember just like because my friend my best friend christian who was also from the first show i did and we're living together he's like dude this meme stuff there was like early on it's like this meme stuff like if you become a meme that's the goal and i'm like okay i'm trying to figure out how to become a meme so i went in with like random things to say and like a handshakes for the boys like it was very strategic like i mean the first day with the guys because i was the only one there oh i think maybe another guy but only one there that had done a show before so i knew at the end of this we're not gonna be friends we're not gonna like each other we're all big personalities we're all going back to different parts of the world first show with like an international cast dude so like i I don't really care about those people.

15:41Paul C. Brunson:So I told all the guys, look, in the interviews, I'm talking shit about you. Just remember that you're probably going to feel some type of way when you watch it back. So just remember, talk shit about me because I'm going to be going in on you. And they're like, no, we're all going to be friends. I was like, I promise we won't be. I'm not going to be a friend after this. I've got friends and I'm good on this. So I think that's what helped me too. Because then as soon as they sit down in the interview, they're like, Carrie's dragging me. I don't even, I probably wasn't even, I was probably crying about something else.

16:09Paul C. Brunson:so it was just like trying to plant like just trying to be strategic to make sure that I was guaranteed screen time because you don't know what you get on these shows

16:17Harry Jowsey:you know what one is thank you for being honest about that yeah you know what I mean because I mean I've done a million reality TV shows now not as the first but more so as the host right it's probably way more fun but what I've noticed is that I feel as if most come in methodical Yeah. Right. But those who come in most methodical, at least what you do is you set your expectation. You could get what it is that you need out of it. Yeah. Instead of feeling like you were manipulated.

16:47Paul C. Brunson:Right.

16:48Harry Jowsey:And we had, you know, Spencer Pratt.

16:50Paul C. Brunson:Yes. Yeah.

16:51Harry Jowsey:So probably the most notorious villain, super villain on a reality show. And we interviewed him. He was on the pod and he was very specific about how his objective was to be a villain. His objective was to manipulate the situation for his own good. He wrote his own storylines. He manipulated everything. So when you look at that, that was your goal. Your goal was I'm familiar with this thing. I'm going to use the system for my behalf.

17:22Paul C. Brunson:Yeah, because that was, you don't know, like when you do a movie or a scripted show, you know the screen time you're going to get. I'm in this scene. I'm not in this scene. My shit, I was like, okay, I don't care. I don't care if I'm, like, regardless of the edit I've got no choice on that or obviously if I say nice things nice things will be put in if I say bad things bad things will be put in but I was just like I legitimately all I want to do is guarantee I'm in the show because there was some people there that like fully like and all the shows I've done that just disappear and it comes to the last week and they're like oh my god I have to do something I have to cause drama whatever else but I also think that if you're gonna do a reality show if you're thinking like that you can also ruin your chances because you see it as well.

18:07Paul C. Brunson:People come in and they go on their interview and they're like, okay, I'm thinking about what I'm going to say. The difference with me is I don't care what I'm saying. I'm just going to say how I feel and say whatever else. Like, oh, that guy's got, like, I remember there was a girl, I said she got like chalky teeth and that guy's got like big fingernails. Like I would literally, whatever I could to like, just at least like, I want you to get that soundbite, whatever else. I see a lot of other people that come in with the mentality. I think when I did Perfect Match, one of the girls was like this is my rebrand i'm like girl you're on a hookup show this is your rebrand it's probably not a good idea but she would sit down and you could see her like being calculated and it just looks like you're lying and being deceitful yes and that's wrong yeah but on

18:49Harry Jowsey:that note though there's a fine line between trying to i guess control the situation and being your authentic self because i feel like the audience resonates most with people who are authentically themselves so for too hot to handle was that you like that was i think it was me but

19:07Paul C. Brunson:on steroids you know like it was me like whenever i would do something naughty i'd put on the shirt that said trouble so like i would try and like have these cues of like when i knew like when so people could pick up that i fucked someone like i was doing something up doing something wrong um yeah it was never like oh i'm just gonna go lie here to to get this or whatever else it was let me just be exaggerated and more playful and care less. Because I think when you care too much, especially on a reality show is when you kind of get shot in the foot.

19:42Harry Jowsey:It happens to a lot of them.

19:44Paul C. Brunson:Yeah. Oh, you don't think the world exists.

19:46Harry Jowsey:It's all you think is happening is in that moment. I think too is that a lot of people don't realize how hard it is too for the contributors. Oh my God. Because to that point it's like they take your cell phones. They take everything. Yeah. You're in a bubble. You have the producers in your ear. You begin to question. Dude. Like, am I thinking this? Is this actually happening?

20:08Paul C. Brunson:Dude, it's crazy, huh? It's mental warfare. And some people really, some people it's like you need to never be on a show because it's not easy because you actually can't trust anyone. Like, you don't have your friends, you don't have your family, and you sure as fuck can't trust the producers because, like, they're going to say things, whether good or bad, it's to benefit the storyline and it's to get what they need out of you. Like very, it's very fascinating now that I've done a ton of them that I'm like, Oh, okay. Like, thank God I like was carefree early on. And like, didn't really like think about anything too much.

20:43Paul C. Brunson:Cause you see other people that like, we'll hear something from a producer. Like, Oh, I don't know if he actually likes you. Like, I think he said something bad to someone else. And then you see him spiral. Cause the thing is on these shows is you don't have anything to do, but to think. So you're sitting there thinking about everything. It's the worst.

20:59Harry Jowsey:It's crazy. It's the worst. You know what's wild about that is everyone talks about how, like, we're so distracted in the world.

21:04Paul C. Brunson:Yeah.

21:05Harry Jowsey:But when you have nothing to do with it, it's the most dangerous thing.

21:08Paul C. Brunson:The most dangerous. Yeah. Because I remember being on a show and we'd sit there and we'd all be, like, chilling. And then someone would be like, the curtain's different today. Or, like, I see that they put an extra plant in there. I'm like, yo, what the fuck? They're like, something's happening today. Like, there's an intruder coming. I'm like, what? Like, yeah, it's a bombshell because there's a new pop plant. And they'd be like, yeah, no, the chef didn't put out orange juice this morning for breakfast. Someone here, someone's game. Careful. My God, there's no OJ on the table. Yeah, yeah. They're like, see, you didn't put three ice cubes in it.

21:45Paul C. Brunson:You're going to die. Yeah, it's fascinating. And then you just spiral from there. That's all you do. And then you get someone on board. And once you have someone on board with your thought process, the whole place is falling down. It's like, guys, look at that quick. We have to go over here. We have to go see that. See, there's an extra camera there. see that camera pointing towards the toilet, someone must have been in there hooking up. It was so crazy. But it's fun.

22:06Harry Jowsey:It is fun. I think it's fun. It seems like, well, actually, let me not put words in your mouth. What do you think allowed you then to thrive in that environment?

22:17Paul C. Brunson:I think the thing that allowed me to thrive is I just, life is fun. And I just have that mentality of like, okay, this isn't, like that it's like a crazy holiday you know like I get to go and have fun and get drunk and hook up with people and whatever else like sure it's all on camera but then um I don't know I just never really overanalyzed anything like I'd just be like okay cool like we're here to make a really good show but also like I'm a fun guy like I'm not gonna sit there and stress if someone's shoelaces a different color or if there's a new pop art or like this is going on like I'll just be like alright like I'm just gonna be fun here and enjoy it and that was the best thing is cause my goal is like make my friends laugh yeah it seems like

23:08Harry Jowsey:you stayed with that goal

23:08Paul C. Brunson:that's the only thing yeah it's like I'm just gonna

23:11Harry Jowsey:make my people happy what do you think would most shock people especially about Too Hot to Handle from behind the scenes I think how many people were actually having sex

23:22Paul C. Brunson:so do you know the show at all yeah but for anyone who doesn't okay yeah so the premise of the show is they have a bunch of horny people. And if you kiss, every show, I guess. You know what? You kiss, spoon, make out, have sex, do anything, you lose money off the prize fund and there's$100 ,000 up for grabs. And yeah, anytime someone does that stuff, it loses money off the prize fund. So now all the new seasons of Toward the Handwards, people try and kiss and have sex right away to get the screen time.

23:50Harry Jowsey:Yeah. I think whenever you have a second, third, fourth series of a show, it's almost never as good as the first because everyone is trying to go back and replicate what they saw.

24:01Paul C. Brunson:Here's my idea. This is what I told them. It obviously didn't go anywhere. I said, if someone has sex, you should delete their Instagram. Oh, damn. That means something. Dude, shackle, chain, everything, literally every log around me, duct tape, everything. I'm like, literally, I'll be up in a tree. You're right. I'm not even talking to anyone. And that's what I said. I said, look, if you, that would be a good curveball, but it'd have to be like a live show, like Love Island or some shit. It's like, oh, look how many followers you got now. Well, if you mess this challenge up, it's gonna get deleted or like banned for a week.

24:36Harry Jowsey:When you went to Too Hot to Handle, according to my little research, you had about 140 ,000 followers. Did you have the most when you went in? Yeah. And psychologically though, take me to the mind of Harry, okay? So psychologically, what does that do? having the most followers.

24:56Paul C. Brunson:I just wanted the social proof. I wanted, because on the show, I wanted, like, people going to, I wanted my name also to be easily searchable. You know, if you have more followers, you're going to be easily, you type in Harry, obviously Harry Styles and whatever else. I wasn't really on the list. I'm like, I want to be easily searchable. That was the goal. Like, I wanted the social proof and I wanted to be easy to find. Gotcha. Wow, smart, man.

25:19Harry Jowsey:You know, the other thing too is, do you consider yourself a smart guy? No.

25:26Paul C. Brunson:Sometimes. It's not in my daily life.

25:28Harry Jowsey:No, seriously. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think also a lot of, there's this notion. I think whenever you see someone do extremely well from reality TV, 99.9 % of the time they're brilliant. And you may look at them and say, oh, well, look at what they're doing. No, it's what they're doing behind. It's everything that you just mentioned. Yeah. It's putting yourself in a position so that you'll be searchable, so that this will boost. And then the result too was you walked away with, was it like 2.4 million followers? Four and a half. Oh. So great. You're like, hey.

26:08Harry Jowsey:Shut the fuck up. You're like, sit down little man. Hey, never get that wrong again, brother.

26:16Paul C. Brunson:I'm fucking, I'm done. I am leaving. Yeah, five on TikTok, but all good. I've been counting. Yeah. I think there's, what, maybe 500 ,000 on Snapchat too, but whatever. Oh, whatever. A couple hundred thousand on Facebook. No one's counting any of that. Nothing. I think 11 million or 12 million total. But that was just, someone told me that. Anyway, what was the question? I know. All right, so you definitely...

26:43Harry Jowsey:It's day one. We still got work to do. But really, like, you blew from that. Like, legit. It got blown. Literally and figuratively, you were... People blown me. They did. They did. Many people. Yeah, well... I mean, that's why... Fair view. So, let me ask you this. Yeah. Did you get the highest number of follows out of everyone else?

27:13Paul C. Brunson:No. On that? No. No. so my ex uh she she was already like talented with like social media stuff okay so i think she had a couple hundred thousand already like most followed posts on the show so i think she she definitely um was better like i was my it was day one for me trying to figure out how to do social media and how to post and whatever else um definitely on tiktok i think for sure but uh instagram not not as much um but yeah yeah but also like hot girl is gonna do way better some lanky guy.

27:46Harry Jowsey:Why is it that the girls do better on social than the guys?

27:49Paul C. Brunson:I think because I think girls are more active on social. Like the following, the female following is way more active on social. It's also easier to relate to them. Like to be like, oh yeah, I want to wear her bikini. Like you look at my shit, people are like, oh, I'm not going to wear hair wax or protein shake, whatever else. So I think that, yeah, there's that. And maybe also because there's more drama with the girls on reality TV like they definitely more heavily involved in in drama whereas guys kind of maybe sit back a little bit well early on i was a little bit crazy but now i'm definitely like anyone talks about me i don't care um but i think that that that's what it is like it's it's hard for a female follower to look at my page and maybe relate at all unless i'm like hey men suck and gotcha love my sisters yeah yeah

28:37Harry Jowsey:i hear you yeah now now leaving that though having that boost then i would imagine financially that helps from a business perspective that helps and for the first time you know in your young adult life you're now earning money it's crazy yeah i had a print on demand um

28:59Paul C. Brunson:merch site because i knew that the audience was coming and i was like any any link or any like your real estate anything that you have on your social media people gonna click it any button people will click it they'll check it they'll click but i was like i need to make money off the jump um because this is going to come and go so quick as they do reality tv shows like you're cool for a month and then you're done and there's a new show out like you look at all the people from love island last season compared to the love island this season like people aren't really talking about them as much yes they warranted they're still like you know celebrities in their own right but this new season and then watch the next season come out like they're going to forget about all these people unless they do something new so i knew that that's what was going to happen so i um had this shitty website it's terrible i figured out how to make a website and print on the month and i kept maxing my credit card out every day i had to borrow friends credit cards because people would jump on the website and buy like this terrible sweater whatever else but i was make first up making money and i think i made it was like 60 60 000 in that month the first couple weeks but i remember i checked my shopify every day and there'd be two and a half thousand people on it like every at any moment any moment i was like wow that's incredible this is crazy

30:11Harry Jowsey:yeah this is wild wish i could do it again but better but is that what then inspires you to do

30:18Paul C. Brunson:more reality tv it's the love of firstly i'm super competitive like i i love this shit um and i love growing i love when i see any show any netflix show i've been on top 10 i love that I come like, okay, how do we make that last longer? Like, how do we be more valuable to them and any other network I've been on? But I think it's more just, I'm kind of too far in the hole now, so I have to keep going. Like, I can't do anything else. I better just keep doing these shows. No, I love it. Like, I genuinely, I love it so much. Like, I love meeting people. I love when I'm out and someone's like, oh, you were that guy from that show and I've just made a new friend.

30:59Paul C. Brunson:Like, I love that. I love being out and someone going, you know seeing uh someone excited or giddy about something i've done on a show and like oh this is crazy or like when i see people from like the dance with the stars audience like that's an older audience yes big audience though big audience yeah when we're on tour and there's like you know people in their 60s coming up and they're excited to me i'm like this is cool like yes we get to feel a little bit a little bit of excitement um it's just still the same thing though like now i have a lot more friends so I have to make a lot more people laugh yeah so a lot more a lot a lot more yeah so 12 million I think 11 and a half yeah it just went up by the way yeah 15 went up by a million you know this million yeah yeah all right if you've made it this far I know you're loving

31:45Harry Jowsey:the conversation so please do me one small favor hit that bell icon join our community thank you you just mentioned dance with the stars yeah so can you do you know the the tv resume because you already have a decent TV resume.

32:01Paul C. Brunson:Okay.

32:02Harry Jowsey:And from where to where? So you went from Too Hot to Handle.

32:06Paul C. Brunson:Heartbreak Island. True. Heartbreak Island, Too Hot to Handle. What the hell was next? Maybe Floor is Lava, Inventions That Changed the World, Match Me If You Can, Amazing Race, Perfect Match, Dancing with the Stars, three movies in between there. I think there's probably something else I'm missing. And then let's marry Harry. I mean, how old are you? 78. 28. Yeah.

32:38Harry Jowsey:All right. Now, are you proud of your career so far? Nah.

32:47Paul C. Brunson:Nah. Seriously? Yeah. Why? Dude, it's so easy to be an idiot on a TV show. It's so easy. I'm proud of the friends I've made I'm proud of the connections like I'm proud that the people at Netflix my best friends on the planet I'm so proud of filming Let's Marry Harry like I was proud that crew the coolest people like I'm proud of that I'm the most proud of creating jobs like that was cool yeah the most proud of that but personally in my career like nah I think there's just so much work to do like there's just so much stuff to do and I'm so violently ambitious with what i see happening in the future and where i see it going that yeah like i'm not i'm not there like not there yet okay like um yeah maybe the little kid in in the country in australia when i was growing up would be like damn that's pretty cool but i think me and him both know that i've this is just this is the first year that i'm kind of getting started but this is.

33:56Harry Jowsey:You know what's so interesting? What's already shocked me on the reel is how, I would say, mature you present.

34:04Paul C. Brunson:Oh, yeah.

34:05Harry Jowsey:Yeah, versus the Harry, you know, that we see. Yeah. You know, and so when you think about some of those projects, in particular Perfect Match, was that, you feel like, was that the best version of you? The worst. That was the worst version of you.

34:20Paul C. Brunson:That was a really bad version of myself, and I think it was super reflective. like you can see that that wasn't who I was I just broke 13 months of being sober I was going through the worst breakup ever like the the last public breakup I ever went through but I was really struggling mentally like really like and I'm like oh this is this is a good idea like this is what will fix me going on a show like this will be fun like get away escape from my world um and newsflash don't go on a dating show if you go through a breakup not gonna make you feel better yeah and then also that show isn't a normal show it's everyone who's been on a show before that's been rejected or whatever else hey here's your chance to get more screen time and be on tv again so people just be fighting to fight like people just be arguing for arguing and uh and then i you know went in with a bit of a target on my head already um having a very public bad breakup um you know being on a ton of these shows and a lot of the people on that show there's their uh their shows hadn't come out yet so they were just they were super green to all this shit and then people just fighting and whatever else and like i'm sitting there like and i think i wasn't the best version of myself because i had that thought of like how do i also try and like save myself here like how do i fix it like how do i be the good guy it's like brother you're on a hookup show trying to have sex with people in a closet like you can't do anything so yeah on that show i really i really set myself up for failure but warranted super grateful for it because the best thing about doing these shows is that um a year later you get to reflect on the person you were and that's really cool like you know any there's no other job on the planet where or maybe there is but there's another job on the planet where you get to sit down and see the version of yourself a year ago in that crazy environment, in an amplified environment, and go, wow, what did I not like about that guy?

36:22Paul C. Brunson:What do I love about that guy now? And what are we doing to make sure that we are never him again? And that was the coolest thing is to be like, okay, cool. Watching that, not proud of it. And then I think ever since that moment, any time I talk about any exes or anything publicly, it was always in the best light ever. is that what your biggest takeaway was was how to reflect on your exes on myself I think just yeah reflecting and just making sure that like yeah that I was like again proud of how I was acting and also like I wasn't being funny that was the thing there was a few things where I was being funny but I'm like oh the goal is to be funny for your friends you're just being a dickhead you suck like just be funny like go back to having fun and running around and trying to do an egg race.

37:12Paul C. Brunson:I would hide other people's clothes in other people's rooms so that they would try and fight. Just go back to doing funny shit instead of just being a big 6 '5 drunk idiot. 6 '5". Yeah. 12 million followers. Yeah, there you go. You just dropped the number now. Is it down again? Yeah. 25 million. 25 million. Mr. Beast, let's collab. Yeah.

37:33Harry Jowsey:What moment, and I can probably guess what this is, But what moment do you regret or you would change from Perfect Match?

37:41Paul C. Brunson:Oh, man. You know, the editing. Yeah.

37:45Harry Jowsey:The editing, yeah.

37:46Paul C. Brunson:No, no. There was a lot of things that, you know, looking back on that show, and I was like, oh, I regret. I didn't even, like, I just regret going. Like, I didn't need to do it. Oh, wow. Okay. I didn't need to do it. But, again, it helped shape me, whatever. I was like, the editing on it was really funny because shit that was going on, like, that didn't happen. like there was a moment i was like throwing up and i was like a handful of other people we all had food poisoning but they'd like splice it again tv show i didn't throw up they wouldn't put it in but there's splice stuff around again tv show it's what's meant to happen and if it didn't happen then people wouldn't watch the show people wouldn't talk about it so like i get it fully get it um but yeah i just think like they could have you know i wish i didn't eat the salmon that day because the throwing up was really embarrassing and that was yeah so yeah go back and not eat the salmon don't eat this salmon yeah yeah especially like hey if i'm cooking it don't eat it then don't

38:39Harry Jowsey:you what about with any of the ladies would you have done anything differently

38:45Paul C. Brunson:you know what nah okay you know i think uh it again like those those moments uh obviously it sucks it's not good but selfishly looking back going okay cool never want to be that guy again never want to do that never want to make people feel that way you know if i kiss someone I should probably say, yeah, I kissed them. That's how it is. Not trying to stand 10 toes and be like, they didn't get it on camera. But I think that'd be the only thing. It's like, look, I don't think anyone was going on that show with the intention, like, I'm going to marry these people right now. Like, this is my person.

39:24Paul C. Brunson:That's not the intention. Perfect Match is a show where people hook up and have fun. And that's what it is. Same with Torte Handle. It's a hookup show. It's not a marriage show or like a serious show where stuff like that needs to happen. So I think that, yeah, and I think anyone on the show who looks back at it now is like, it's definitely like, it's just a hookup show. People tend to have sex and get drunk and have fun.

39:47Harry Jowsey:Which is much different than Let's Marry Harry. The biggest difference ever. What can you tell us about it? Because when I look at it, it's like, actually, I'll tell you. I asked my wife, I was like, what do you think about this? she was like, oh, this is The New Bachelor. Yeah. Right? That's what it seems like this is.

40:07Paul C. Brunson:Yeah. I think that calling it The New Bachelor is doing a disservice because it is massively way better, different. And it's needed. You know, you watch The Bachelor. Here's the road. Same old shit, you know? And I honestly think that this show will change marriage style shows forever. Really? I think it's going to be the biggest, best thing. And what the world kind of needs in these shows. Obviously, the world needs a lot of things. Probably not on a dating show with me on it. Maybe. It was one of the most challenging, most rewarding, most in-depth processes I've ever done. And I can't imagine.

40:58Paul C. Brunson:like honestly I think The Bachelor will probably cease to exist after the show and if they do they're going to continue to lose viewers yeah tell me how you really feel yeah I do let's get some headlines in here alright nah look Taylor Frankie Paul her season's going to do great but you know unless they're unless the Bachelor cast like Michael B. Jordan yeah like this show is going to clap its cheeks and that's fine and I'll stand I'll stand 10 toes on that

41:26Harry Jowsey:I believe this man. I believe this. So I would imagine the basic premise from what you could, if you can confirm this is, you have a group of women who are... So far so good. Well, no, no. And I'm going to go there too, because I didn't know there was sprinkling in some men. No, no, no, no. No, no. Okay. So a group of women are competing to marry you. Correct.

41:51Paul C. Brunson:Okay. Very unfortunate.

41:53Harry Jowsey:So sorry. So just going into this, though, is your thought you are open? Because the shows that you've done thus far, as you said, are hookup shows. This is a totally different caliber of a show. So was your thought, I am open to now being married?

42:12Paul C. Brunson:No, I am. That was the thing. I am doing this no matter what. So Alex Kubo, she's gone through the casting. she was figuring out who's the best person for me like that that my team my friends at netflix like i'm with them pretty much every other day we're spending christmas together like they're my family and my friends like i really care deeply about the team that was building this show everyone is doing it um for love essentially like everyone like it's just we have such a good relationship it was such a tight ship so that i knew like god i can't waste these people's time And I know that they're doing everything they can to make sure that there's the perfect people for me once we start this process.

42:59Paul C. Brunson:I just think being with my sisters and seeing them with their men and their kids. And I was like, this is what I want. This is important. And it's the only thing in my life that I hadn't really put, you know, I hadn't really watered that seed at all. I'd just be like, oh, let's just have fun or whatever else. so now I get the most incredible opportunity to to meet you know there were so many people that signed up that had crashed the website like it would literally I posted a story I remember it crashing and I'm like no way like that's wild so there was these are people applying yeah yeah yeah it was dude it was it was so wild and I was sitting there and you know we have so many incredible people that have signed up that want to take time out of their lives to see if I'm their guy and get to know me.

43:47Paul C. Brunson:And then, you know, all this whole crew, like it was just like such a really beautiful experience. And I think the viewers, probably myself as well, is going to be super shocked and really kind of taken back with how deep it is.

44:04Harry Jowsey:Man, I can't wait to see it. Yeah. You mentioned Alex Cooper in there. Yeah. So she's executive producing and hosting as well?

44:11Paul C. Brunson:No, no, she's just EP. Like, she's obviously, it's an unwell production. So she's super involved. But honestly, I remember, like, she was texting every day, like, wants to know everything that's going on. She cares a lot. She cares a lot.

44:30Harry Jowsey:Can we talk about your friendship with her? Yeah. Because it seems like that relationship has changed your life.

44:38Paul C. Brunson:So Alex and I's relationship kind of started on Call of Daddy. like after two at the hand i went and did a show and then i've been a repeat client like a fair bit on the show but we'd never really been friends outside of that and then it was the same year i did perfect match i think she had me on again and at the end of it she's like hey i want to see if you'd be down to like start a podcast on my network and i said literally give me a contract i'll sign it right now i don't care i'll sign it i don't need them yeah all good whatever 100 % to you let's go no no it wasn't like that but she's like yeah we're building something special and would love to have you there and i'm like dude yeah of course like i love you guys like i love being in your orbit um but it's also just being uh you know so motivated by their success like there's dude she's such a powerhouse like you just icon already icon status yeah it's incredible but also like just seeing her with fans is like another thing like it's so special because we'll be at an event or something that they're putting on and she's just like sitting there like hugging everyone and talk like holding on her shoulders like talking about like so engaged do you know that person she's like oh to listen to the podcast like she's if you ever meet her like especially if girls meet her it's just like she is you're the only person on the planet that matters and exists right there like she really cares about our audience um but most like she also just like dude she's the best i could call her about anything but also her husband matt the coolest guy ever and i think going into this show i actually love maria harry i told them i was like to have something that you two have would be so special like i was there they're the perfect people for each other like they're so special together and like she'll think of an idea he'll execute like it's it's so cool he doesn't like if she's like all right i want to dream this big he's like let's dream bigger like they're like they really compliment each other the best um and i just like whenever i'm at their house or we're having dinner or whatever else like it's just it feels like you know with my biggest siblings like and they just and they they kind of they definitely take me under their wing they're like i really want to really want to help you get ahead like Yes.

46:52Harry Jowsey:So you feel like they are your mentors.

46:55Paul C. Brunson:Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah.

46:56Harry Jowsey:Yeah, they're great, dude. They're awesome. Yeah. I can see how they entered your life at the right time.

47:03Paul C. Brunson:Yeah. Perfect timing.

47:05Harry Jowsey:Yeah, divine timing. Divine timing. Yeah. I can see it. In that zone, you really needed a duo like that. Yeah. Dude, it's awesome. Yeah. Good stuff. Yeah, it's really cool. We need to talk about how much noise there is in the new year. Reset, reinvent, rebuild. And what I've found usually goes hand in hand with that is pressure. But this year, how about flipping that pressure into permission to finally try the thing you've been thinking about for months. And not to do it perfectly, but just to start. When I launched my matchmaking business, I was overwhelmed and nervous, but I quickly learned that you don't need all the answers, just the starting point.

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49:45Harry Jowsey:Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit Priceline.com and book your next trip today. Go to your happy price. Priceline. We have to talk. We have to talk about OnlyFans. Okay. Here's where I want to go with it. Yeah. Is you became one of the highest grossing earners, male creators on OnlyFans. But then I saw you say at one point later, you said, I may delete this when I get married.

50:16Paul C. Brunson:yeah so so help me on you're trying to pick up shit huh

50:20Harry Jowsey:i mean yeah it's deleted but and this is because because i'm looking at like this evolution of harry yeah what i mean and so when did you join but then help me understand that statement of i may delete this when i get me dude it's going yeah it is going it's going yeah very

50:38Paul C. Brunson:soon um i think so when we did talk the handle it's kind of no-brainer to be honest like it was you're on a show where you're kind of described as like a sex addict essentially you're branded that way right to what the handle was like oh don't have sex whatever and people like oh my god these people are idiots like they can't not touch each other for a month you know so we had this free marketing where it's like well no brand is gonna pay that much and also like you can really build a community of like horny people here so like let's run it up so that was like that was going off uh for a while and then it kind of turned more into like community building like there's a lot of like there's OFTV shows that I've done on another show I've done on there um I don't know if that counts as TV show yeah but it is though yeah yeah it's a network yeah there's other stuff that I've done on there where it's um yeah just again just like a different platform to express and also not um be uh you can kind of just do whatever you want which is kind of cool but build community and also have a one-on-one interaction with people but in saying that um it has made it difficult to to date sometimes like some people feel a little bit of type of way about it and um but i also it's just like as my career is progressing it's increasingly more difficult to to put time into that and to give people what they need so it's like well do i just pull the plug or do i half ass it and try and keep going and growing on that so once marry harry airs i'm pretty sure it's gonna finito it's gonna be done um which will suck but it's just like life things have been getting so crazy lately like we've there's a movie in the works um that i'm writing thank you so much with one of my really good friends which will announce soon but there's two other tv shows that are going ahead there's this ai company that i've just started randomly um like there's just a skincare brain that i have like there's just there's so much stuff happening and also creating content as well and i love i love them the most out of anything so i'm just sitting here like okay well we've got to be a little bit more um thoughtful where i put my energy and also like i don't want to upset people you know right especially if you don't text on

53:00Harry Jowsey:it back for like three days and they're gonna be a bit sassy so gotcha gotcha but now on only fans

53:05Paul C. Brunson:how much have you made on only fans um i think i'll give a low number i'll give a range between 50 billion and zero dollars anywhere between that any way yeah yeah so just throw Just throw a dart at a wall and... Nah, honestly, not that much. Okay. Yeah. Really? Yeah, only like 300 million.

53:35Harry Jowsey:Yeah. All right, what I saw reported, tell me hot, cold, or just not, is 3 million. But I think that was way low. I think that's probably one year. It's probably first year. Pretty good, huh? Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah. You're pretty good. Okay. So, so that's probably way low, but all right, here's why I bring this up. Okay. I bring it up because it's a, it's a massive revenue source. Yeah. But it seems like, and this is going to this whole through line of maturity. It seems like what you're saying is, is it doesn't matter how much money it's making. The fact is, is it's not good for me. It's not where I want to place my time.

54:18Paul C. Brunson:Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Cause that's the thing is like, you put your time into anything. It's going to be fruitful. Right. Like, sure, the 15 million or whatever that's been made on there. There we go. Or no, maybe it's this or more. I don't know.

54:34Harry Jowsey:I forget. But I would imagine if three was the first year, you'd have done at least 15. Yeah. Now, I know that you have said repeatedly that you're a relationships guy.

54:44Paul C. Brunson:When did I say that?

54:46Harry Jowsey:Your whole career. He's a liar. Can we talk a little bit about relationships? Okay. Because you mentioned an ex in there that you're good friends with. Yeah. But here's how I love to do it, and so it's not salacious, is if I name someone, you tell me what the lesson was.

55:04Paul C. Brunson:Okay.

55:04Harry Jowsey:From that relationship. Okay. Right? So you mentioned Georgia. Yeah. What did you learn from that relationship?

55:13Paul C. Brunson:You know, Georgia and I really, like, love each other. Like, really love each other. Like, she, we had, we were together for a while, but the biggest thing that I learned was I wasn't good at telling her how I felt. And we weren't, we were terrible. We were, and she would admit this, we were so bad at communicating with each other. We assumed all the time, all the time. I assumed she did this. She assumed I did that. That was the biggest thing. And, like, hearing stuff out from someone and say something and assuming that that's true. So I think that was the biggest thing that like looking back and I'm sure she'll say the same, is that we we were terrible at talking.

55:59Paul C. Brunson:Lucy Hale? Can't speak on that one. OK.

56:05Harry Jowsey:Pass. Yeah. OK, so then if you just collectively look back on all of the relationships you have, you know, romantic relationships in your life. Yeah. what do you believe the best lesson is for the young men who watch you? Because what I've noticed about your life so far is it was based on making the guys back in Australia laugh. But all those guys who watch you are watching. A lot of them are probably starting to emulate and watch what you do. especially with regard to your relationships. So what do you think is the greatest lesson you could give them about relationships?

56:52Paul C. Brunson:If I could tell myself, a younger version of myself, is, yeah, I would just say, be disciplined on yourself and stand tall and be patient. There's so many relationships where it's like, oh, well, if she doesn't let me hit, then it is what it is whatever like it's actually not the be all end all but I think like when I was in my 20s well I'm still in but like early 20s it was like that was my currency with my friends it was like oh did you smash that girl so I think like having patience would be so cool and being disciplined um with yourself like you know like the and was it delayed gratification is it yes yeah yeah I think that would be super important too but I think that um yeah the biggest thing is oh and listen a lot more yeah because I just I think people get so excited talking about themselves and what I realized is when I just just overwhelm them with questions and want to learn and be um excited about their life is is really like super important I think maybe I'm not answering that right but I think also like the discipline and stuff is not like hey iron your shirt or like make sure that this is always good i think it's just like these discipline with your morals or like discipline with how you present or how you

58:22Harry Jowsey:take care of those people yeah because i would probably imagine a lot of self-discipline as as

58:28Paul C. Brunson:well yeah um yeah yeah and i think also and maybe that leans on my life too is when i was on disciplined i was out and drinking every night and it was big in in that hookup culture and whatever else when i was disciplined it's like waking up at 5 a.m making sure that um you know day trade in the morning for the first hour like just being locked in on on that lifestyle and health and fitness and showing up for myself so i think just making sure that there is someone coming in my life that is disciplined as well or who has at least has a goal or someone who's at least excited about something in the future yes so focus on the people that wake up with a purpose instead of people that wake up and just want to fuck around which is also fine but it's not for

59:13Harry Jowsey:me yes so it's not for you because so uh your therapy and self-reflection seem to be this is a major like inflection point in in your life what was the incident that drove you to that was that Was that your father's passing? Is that what drove you to therapy? No, it was up to Georgia. Prior.

59:34Paul C. Brunson:Really? Yeah. Truly? Yeah, yeah. Me and Georgia, we... You know something's wrong, but you don't know how to deal with it. We weren't talking. Something's not right here. We're butting heads. We break up, we get back together. Break up, we get back together. It was very up and down all the time. I was watching porn, and that was making me not be as faithful as I should have been. It was something that I had to work on because I was like, I'm not saying that that porn is the catalyst, but it would just make me think about other people. and I think that there was so much stuff that was going on and we weren't, again, weren't talking about it so when we were in that relationship we went to therapy and it really helped everything it really helped me go, oh wow be patient, don't be, like because she said something that doesn't make you feel good don't react, like hear the whole thing hear it out, like she doesn't mean to hurt you she's just hurt, you know so it really helped with all that it's just like to, yeah And then I just stayed in it ever since.

1:00:33Paul C. Brunson:My therapist is the best. Yeah, she's really cool. So you continue to go to this? Yeah, every week. Yeah, look at that. Every week you go.

1:00:39Harry Jowsey:Yeah. Yeah. And would you encourage everyone to participate in therapy?

1:00:46Paul C. Brunson:You know, I think therapy is the greatest gift because I don't feel like I'm a burden to my friends. And that's not even the main point. But for me, I get to talk to someone about whatever I want, no judgment, who cares, literally anything, what's going on, and get a professional guidance around it or just a soundboard. I think it makes me a better friend and a better partner for people too because I already got the thing that's weighing on your mind all week or month or whatever else. instead of like blowing up and snapping at your partner like you've already discussed it with someone and you already know ways around it or you already realize it's probably not that big of a deal who cares right and that's like half of it is people go like oh well let's even fucking clean the dishes and then it builds up and builds up and builds up and then it turns into a thing and

1:01:37Harry Jowsey:then it breaks yes yes just a heads up this next section includes discussion of suicide please watch with care to that point you mentioned that you but it has with your brother yeah yeah what was that all about it was it uh and how old was your brother i'm sorry um younger older yeah he's

1:01:56Paul C. Brunson:older he's i think he's like two and a half years older than me um you know we've always had a fascinating relationship with uh very competitive i guess well okay not really actually like i'm not competitive with him like I couldn't really care like I've just I'm excited for what he does and what he tells me what he's got going on we we clash heads a lot recently and I've decided that like I actually don't want him in my life at all when I fully blocked him um there was a moment recently the reason why I blocked him he was like again we hadn't spoken in a while and he had he has like a weird parasocial relationship with me where he was like analyzes everything online and then report it back to my mom and then this one morning I woke up and I had all these messages of like oh why like why and i called my mom was like hey we have a one-to-one relationship if you find something weird or whatever else call me let's talk i don't talk to this guy we're not in each other's lives at all so whatever he's doing it's as a he's over analyzing something that he has no idea on what's going on and we also don't have a relationship so growing up we had and i guess i've never really spoken about it but yeah we we had a pretty good relationship but always fight.

1:03:09Paul C. Brunson:There's a lot of big fights. And then the problem was, I think, girls. I was always bagging the baddies, okay? You know?

1:03:16Harry Jowsey:I can't believe that.

1:03:17Paul C. Brunson:Dude, I do it. Every girl I've ever dated, the most beautiful woman I've ever met, right? Right. His girlfriends, I don't know. No, but we just, I think it was that.

1:03:30Harry Jowsey:You know, the girls. So this is going to sound like a wild question. Okay. But I think I know the answer to this one, right? When you were growing up, are you taller than your brother? The tallest. Yeah, tallest in the family. Yeah. So I've noticed this pattern with brothers who are older and their younger brother becomes taller. Oh, really? It's like 100 % where there is something that messes with the ego. What? Because you are literally the bigger brother. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. It's like, wow. Okay. Yeah. You are the bigger brother. Yeah. Now you're the younger brother. Yeah. But you're the bigger brother.

1:04:13Paul C. Brunson:Damn. Okay. So that would really give you identity conflict. Like, yeah. Crisis. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Because, yeah, I think that it was, and it actually was when I started to get taller than him, that things started to like pivot for us as well. But we didn't have like the best relationship. And then there was a couple of years where I didn't speak to him at all. and then I went and did ayahuasca and I was like, I should probably figure this out. Do you know what that is? Yeah, absolutely. Have you done it or no? I haven't done it. Lots of friends have done it. Okay. And it's changed your life. Yeah, it was like really fascinating.

1:04:45Paul C. Brunson:So that year, I'd lost a few people to suicide. It's quite a big thing. Back home in Australia and New Zealand, we have the highest suicide rate per capita. A lot of young men take their lives and it's... I didn't know that. It's the highest route for men. Yeah, yeah. It is really horrible. it's just I don't know what it is I don't know why it's a thing um but it was the reason why I started on this whole journey but that that year I'd lost two people my best friend from the first tv show I'd ever did and then uh one of my friends mums who essentially like raised me as well and I was on this like journey of uh because that was three people in total that I'd lost to suicide so I was on a bit of a journey that year trying to figure out what is going on you know I'm in LA, I'm making money, I'm drunk, I'm going out, I'm having fun, I've got this crazy lifestyle.

1:05:33Paul C. Brunson:But oh, the purpose of me doing these shows was to make my friends laugh. And like, I'm a class clown. My friends aren't laughing, they're actually not here anymore. So like, what? So it made me have like question everything. And I guess, yeah, I was good. It kind of, it all just happened at the same time, like it just flowed. And I'm like, okay, this is meant to be so when i did this trip in costa rica and um it's regardless of the the medicine in it it was like you meet the most incredible people but each day you're doing character building exercises which was it's always good to look within um the first time we did it the first night we did the ayahuasca um i'm like sitting there writing my intentions i'm gonna see my friends and we're gonna be good and i'm gonna get that peace whatever else dude i it snapped me into like specific memories with my brother and my dad.

1:06:20Paul C. Brunson:I didn't have a relationship with my dad at that point as well. And I'm sitting there as a kid, like, wow, this is, this is the guy that made me the guy, you know, like, this is, this is my man. Like, this is my best friend. And then it snapped up, you and my brother were running and we're having the best time ever. Like real memories, real life memories that I had with these guys. I was reliving it like in the moment. And I just remember weeping and laying in that, in overwhelmed with the amount of love that I hadn't given them and the amount of love of like wow this is these two dudes are the reason why I'm the guy and like the reason why I'm here doing my thing and like if it wasn't for them if it wasn't for all this stuff like I wouldn't know how to chop a tree I wouldn't know how to be a beekeeper I wouldn't know how to have a garden like I wouldn't have grown up on a farm like all this stuff I was sitting there just like wow I'm so overwhelmed with love so after that point was when I really rebuilt with my brother and my dad and tried to come back around um but i just think it's yeah with me and my brother it's um just very very difficult very again maybe it's a tall thing um it's just it's hard to be to relate and um he over analyzes everything i do like i posted this is the example and i'm sure he's gonna go for me um i posted a uh a prayer on my story that my friend had written and um he was perplexed by that because we didn't grow up with religion so we didn't grow up with anything i said look i'm trying to figure out what i believe in after my dad had passed i'm trying to like i got to figure out what's going on um because regardless if it's true and if it's not i'd like to believe in something because it makes me feel good and when i have a family i want to tell the kids something so like say the goldfish passes away oh well he's in heaven so don't stress um so i posted this prayer and and he like had like this massive massive like reaction to it and like i don't know who you are anymore like just weird shit just like um you know like ask are you okay what's wrong like stuff like that i'm like brother who cares it doesn't hurt anyone also i said take the dear god out of it it is the most beautiful mantra and show of gratitude to say out loud to start your year off.

1:08:37Paul C. Brunson:Literally don't care. It doesn't hurt anyone. Makes me feel good. So I'm going to do it. So just like weird things like that. And again, I'm like, we don't have a relationship where you could feel some type of way about it. Also like, you know, warranted, it's not a bad thing to post. Out of all the things I could post, that's probably the best thing. You know, I could be getting my bussy out, you know, you could be. And we don't, no one wants that.

1:09:04Harry Jowsey:I don't know. Some people might. You know what? Yeah. Send my DMs. Some people may pay for that, actually. Well, link it by... But I... You know what? I think when you were at Ayahuasca and you reflected on the guys that made you the guy, that's profound. You know? And that you included your brother in that. I'm just curious. Have you ever told him that?

1:09:33Paul C. Brunson:I called him the next day after we went through it and I sent him some money and I was like, yo, what's going on? And then I was like, yeah, trying to connect through that. This was, mind you, this was like three or four years ago. And he was really confused. He was like, why are you sending me money? Why are you calling me? And I was like, oh, I just did a ton of drugs. Okay. Yeah. I just had a crazy life-changing experience. He's got no idea what's going on. And I'm like, hey, how you going? Let's be friends. Like, what's going on? but honestly it was it was uh it was good it's just like a different you know sometimes you need to have a different perspective on stuff and my old man um and it's quite a common thing in my i guess uh genetic bloodline is we have an addictive gene so my dad had a bit of problem with alcohol so and i think that that's carried on um in my family life not with alcohol for me but you know my brothers my sisters like everyone has kind of noticed sometimes we'll overindulge a little bit on some stuff um and it's made me like be fully like aware of that but um when i did that experience it was so cool because i really had the opportunity to separate the person and the addiction and i've never been able to go i've always just been hit it together and with anger and like why can't you control that like what's going on right like i i don't get it but then i'd be like okay we just put our personal boundaries on like i won't speak to you at the phone after 4 30 p.m and just understand that maybe you i might get an unraveled email at 11 p.m but that's because that addiction is there but the person will be all good in the morning yes i see it and

1:11:08Harry Jowsey:that's the importance of boundaries yeah um so uh there's there's one more uh larger topic that i want to get into that you've been mentioning um but it touches upon this ah the boss the boss yeah This experience you had with him, to me, was so profound. And as much as you'd like to talk about the experience, if you could first say for those listening, what was that that I just handed you?

1:11:41Paul C. Brunson:You handed me a photo of me and my dad when we were in Bali. Oh, no, maybe it was Sri Lanka. He was sponsoring a family there after there was a tsunami or something. So I went to go visit them. But, yeah, it was just a back when I was a little sausage. And I forget what he was showing me, but, yeah. So, oh, man, Paul. He's the guy. Paul. Yeah. Great name. You want him back? Yeah. I'll give this back to you, too.

1:12:09Harry Jowsey:Yeah. Great name, Paul. So now your father recently passed away.

1:12:14Paul C. Brunson:Yeah. Yeah. December 4th, last year. Last year.

1:12:18Harry Jowsey:Can you walk us through that experience for you? I think life is made up of, I always look at it as inflection points. Yeah. Right. And sometimes those inflection points, we go down to a darker place. Sometimes we raise up to a lighter place. I'm trying to understand what that moment did for you. Dude, what a gift, life.

1:12:43Paul C. Brunson:Like what a, what an incredible thing. I got so incredibly lucky that, so my dad went through with his sister dying. He had an illness that was going to take him out in the next couple of months. He didn't really want to wait around. He's like, fuck this, I'm going to go. So in New Zealand, you can go through with his sister dying, which is a really beautiful and special thing. And it obviously sounds pretty scary, but it's, you know, people who have a sound mind who have a terminal illness, and it's a really rigorous process that I had to go through for him to get greenlit for it.

1:13:18Harry Jowsey:But how does that even, like even with your relationship, does he, you know, the first time that you hear, he is considering assisted dying. Yeah. What do you think? Dude.

1:13:34Paul C. Brunson:We, yeah, I just, he's so stubborn. He's so funny. He was, he just, one of those guys that if something's happening, he's going to do it. He wanted to go with his dignity and his biggest fear was him losing control over his body or whatever else. The annoying thing is he was getting better. When I first went there, I'm walking him in a wheelchair. Then the next time I come back, he's got a walking stick. The next time he's walking normal, I'm like, this motherfucker's lying. He wants to go. No, but it's hard to wrap your head around. It was really difficult. It was so difficult. because we had meetings for months with the death doc, which is not his official name, but that's what my dad kept calling him.

1:14:20Paul C. Brunson:And it was really difficult because, number one, I had to keep a secret from my mom. So they weren't good. They weren't in a good spot. But I flew back to New Zealand, and he's like, if she wants to know, she can call me. And it was her birthday, and she was getting remarried in the same weekend. So I had to fly. I was at that time, like I know she's good with my brother now, but at that time I was the only person in our families that was super close to my mom. So I flew back and obviously mom always knows when something's wrong and was trying to figure it out. I was like, look, I actually can't tell you.

1:14:56Paul C. Brunson:I'm not allowed to, but if you want to know, you have to call the old goose. And the hardest thing is that they actually didn't talk on the phone, especially because it was my idea to, hey, like, let's just say one last goodbye. and to see him cry once I got back about it was the hardest thing. And it's been a bit of a weird thing to kind of wrap my head around. But those death conversations are really, it's really easy. You know, it's really easy to feel sad and like to beat yourself up on it. It's so easy to be like, this is scary. The way I'm all good with it is because I got to know when he's gone.

1:15:34Paul C. Brunson:Like no one gets it. Like what a privilege that is. I got so lucky that I knew and I could be there with him every day that we could eat cherries and we could talk in the morning and we'd go for a drive and we can laugh. I got to know like, hey, this is when he's going and that's the day he picks. So we're good. You know, it's such that's such a privilege, such a privilege to know that, like, yeah, I get to sit down with him and we get to be in that moment when he takes his last breath. And again, super easy thing to be angry about it and to be sad about it. And I definitely went through those emotions.

1:16:11Paul C. Brunson:But I think looking back, it'd be kind of nice to know when you're gone and then to see who shows up.

1:16:16Harry Jowsey:And you, in the days leading up or maybe even weeks leading up, what do you do? Do you live with him? Do you spend time with him? How does it work? Oh, man.

1:16:31Paul C. Brunson:And he was in like an elder care. We're in New Zealand. It's a very small town, Mochueka. And we're all staying at my sister's. Not all my siblings showed up, which was kind of fascinating. And I still feel a bit tired about that. And then even one of our other siblings were trying to get money out of the will before he was even gone. And there was just so much random family drama for no reason. like even another one wanted to uh couldn't make it down because of work stuff and i'm like i'll just i'll just pay for your shit like stop being an idiot you know we have such a blessing here there's just so much drama that was going on which was unfair on him and because i was with him every day um and i could i could see it like weighing on him like it's already the scariest thing on the planet yeah i can't imagine what he's oh he's like oh this is all unraveling and i'm still here i'd be sitting with him and my siblings don't know this but i'd be sitting with him and just wish today was a day because i'd see texts from people i'm like yo it's like turn this shit off idiots um so those days were difficult because we you know i just the only goal was to be with him and have a good day and like to make him feel good it's already scary he's already got cancer he's already got psoriasis liver like he's already falling apart he doesn't want to get out of bed like he's sleeping all day um and you know i'm already trying to like like let's wheel him out like let's go get some sunshine let's go do stuff and let's go to the beach um and try and do things it's very difficult and um yeah it's very very scary time but it was the it was the greatest it's the coolest thing so cool yeah to see someone transition over um

1:18:21Harry Jowsey:but also to still feel them with you was really cool yeah that uh if if you are open to talk about is that last moment how how does that happen uh so with that with the assisted dying process

1:18:36Paul C. Brunson:and dude we had the best doctor he's the man i forget his name he was so cool so we had my dad requested people to you know requested people to be there uh in that process so So he had one room in this hospice and we had another one opened up for where he wanted to cross over. And the doctor was there, gave him some Valium and stuff. He was in bed and I had a speech prepared. So I was like, I need you there. I was really worrying about this. Now, mind you, the night before, I thought it'd be funny to watch that movie, Death at a Funeral. Death at a Funeral. now mind you not a good idea because i thought that that would be that would make light of it worst thing ever i couldn't sleep um but yeah we we sit down and i get to tell him everything i've ever wanted to tell him and my sister sarah she said you have to hold his feet when he goes because that's where all the magic comes out of i'm like okay so i'm sitting there fucking squeezing his feet and some of their kids are there my brother-in-law is there he's the man shout out Dan and he I remember looked at the doctor and we we all had whiskey he likes Chivas Regal and what wanted to make sure he had a good good last one like a nightcap before he went over and

1:20:09Paul C. Brunson:I can't listen to Ed Sheeran anymore because that was dad's song that he wanted to go out on it was the song Pudding Glass so I definitely haven't listened to Ed Sheeran since and if I ever see Ed Sheeran I'll probably if I ever meet him I'll try and give him a hug and just say thank you so much for that beautiful song but yeah he looked at the doctor he said yeah I'm ready and he makes so there's two ways you can go out there's a iv and the iv lights out super quick a couple minutes uh the drink is meant to take 10 or 15 minutes so you can just slowly go off to sleep and we got it advertised to us as like a really peaceful thing it was not at all he uh because my dad hadn't really been eating at all because his stomach was off from the from the cancer and all the meds he he fell asleep pretty quick um but the problem is the death gurgle i don't know if you've heard of this you've heard of it it's the absolute worst thing on the planet and would love anyone to kind of be prepared if uh just just know that when someone is trying to get air and their body's shutting down it's it's a horrible thing to listen to and um and it's kind of weird because I can't really remember it but I can because I remember my head it felt like my my head was going to come out of my skin like I was just trying to get all this all this magic but also just yeah it was really it was really cozy and then anyway he he went off and immediately went outside the first thing i did is i called my mom and i said hey mom that just this is everything that's happened last month or so i told her everything i was in it i was in it for her first time yeah yeah so first time she she she knew she's not like she's not silly but she knew something was wrong and first time i told everything and um and then i went back inside and I couldn't really be around him I couldn't couldn't really be around the body I was really struggling with that but the coolest thing is because my sisters are Maldi they're native New Zealand they're in in their culture in the culture there they there's processes and stuff that they do which is really cool like my sisters were like we're keeping the body no one's taking the body this is out is out that you're not gonna take him you know burn him you know we're doing everything it was really cool so they they had elders come to the room two hours after he'd passed my siblings had got him changed and put him in a nice suit that we picked um and the elders come and did this ceremony and they because they said after two hours the soul is is out of the body now and it's it's there um the worst thing was putting his body in a coffin that's the worst thing after the death rattle because you know he's just alive and he's normal he's stiff and he's talking and then now it's like he's flopping everywhere so me and my brother-in-law and siblings pick him up and put him in I almost passed out put him in the coffin and then yeah we took the coffin and put it in the back of the van and we took it to my sister's place and uh because again because the culture in new zealand they keep the body at the house for a couple days um i thought that and it sounds like it sounded like the worst thing on the planet but it was the greatest thing i was so glad that we got to be with him like it was the coolest thing because you get to walk into the room and just talk and just tell them everything and like tell them about what's going on today like i'd sit down like hey dad Quinn called and he sent flowers or hey dad this this person is checking in and they want to know everything's all good but everything's okay I got it like you just go sit at night with him and whatever else the weirdest thing and the hardest thing is just how cold they are and and whatever else but it's grief is so fascinating and it's such an undervalued emotion like god it was really wild to see everyone turn into their own superhero like it was just really cool so did you get did you get a chance to give your speech yeah yeah yeah I told him yeah it was cool um yeah it was really really special I got to to read it for him and uh yeah it was a lot of tears um and it was really nice we were sitting there and I'm like oh dad like I'm gonna look up in the stars I'm gonna see you look here I see you and he's like no it's just gonna go to black I'm like no I don't want I don't want to believe in that I don't want to believe in that so that's why I've started this like journey after whether it's like Christianity or whatever else like to find a higher power or a God so I've started reading the Bible um and trying to figure out what I what you believe in what I what I believe in because there is something and I think it's all just universal like but I like the the morals and stuff I need

1:25:13Harry Jowsey:need some help with that uh but but but just just you're on the pathway to discovery yeah most important what what so now i mean having gone through that and thank you for sharing that yeah like i think as you said that was beautiful it's the best man it was beautiful so cool you know what what have you learned about grief dude grief is

1:25:36Paul C. Brunson:it never goes away and i never want it to go away i want it i want to always feel when i think about that. I want to always feel sad. I want to, I always want to feel when I think of him. And I love that about grief. I love it so much. Um, I love that some days I could be having the best day ever. And then it's ruined because I'm like, damn, where's the old goose? Um, I love that. I love the control it has on me. You know, it's so nice. Like, it's so nice to like feel and, and think about that person. And like, when was the last time you could ever think of someone? and it brings you some overwhelming amount of tears dude i wish i had that control on people that's so cool like that motherfucker's got me forever he would just plonk into my head and and ruin my day or make me so happy because my dad would love this um with but with greek though i someone gave me a really good quote that it's like standing on the beach you know sometimes the waves will go all the way out and you won't see him for a couple days but sometimes they'll come all the way in and knock you over and it'll be a tsunami like it's always it's always going to come and go just know the tide is going to go out but the tide will always come back in so i really love that about grief but i just it's also really fascinating to see how everyone navigates it because there's no right way to go about it i realized that when like having so many people around when my dad passed um seeing each like my brother kind of turn into like a commando he's like everything has to get done my sister's their soft beautiful energy like mothering everyone keeping them locked in um my mom you know pushing pushing me away but me it was like gotta be alone gotta be isolated like not i'm mad or not sad or anything but just like i'm just gonna walk it was i think i said like forrest gump it's like i'm just gonna just walk yeah just walk and just just be be me um so it's very fast i think that's the coolest thing is just it is like when someone's happy you know everyone feels happiness everyone's happy But like grief, it's like everyone is so different with that.

1:27:36Paul C. Brunson:Like it's so, so weird. Like, you know, when some people see traumatic stuff, they laugh. They can't help it. Yeah. Or like so sad.

1:27:43Harry Jowsey:It's very cool. You know what, Harry? My only gripe, my only issue with you in everything that we've talked about thus far is you not being proud of yourself.

1:27:53Paul C. Brunson:Oh, wow.

1:27:54Harry Jowsey:You know what I mean? Because I think that the way, if I can, you know, if I can impart some wisdom on you. Yeah, please. The one thing that I see that many people do is they look at joy or being proud as the destination. So it's like, I'm doing all of this to get to this particular place over here, this destination, and then I will be proud. Whereas the joy comes in the journey to the destination. And what you've described is a very rich life. Yeah. Like because of your experiences, but more so because of your ability to reflect on those experiences and become better. Like every day you're becoming better.

1:28:39Harry Jowsey:I see it. Like you're a totally different person than you were on the first reality or the second reality. You know what I mean? Like you are evolved into another person. You should be proud of that. Okay, I'll write it down. Yes. Thank you. You really should be. Last question. okay everyone gets it uh that is you've had incredible conversations throughout your entire life yeah which one stands out as the most memorable and so who was it with and what did you learn wow what a good question um i would have to say like now top of mind it's probably

1:29:21Paul C. Brunson:like the last kind of conversation with my dad you know like that was

1:29:28Paul C. Brunson:special obviously well obviously because we can't do it again um i think that was really powerful but i think this was one of the greatest conversations i've had yeah i really love that yeah yeah i i there's a lot of things i've never really spoken about or let my brain like go down that path because i'm pretty jokey i'm like oh just gotta go funny gotta make it laugh so yeah I think if there's one thing it'd be it'd be my dad this conversation and then

1:29:59Paul C. Brunson:talking to God or whoever that is because I've been really finding a lot of power in that and motivation just knowing that everything is within anything you want to do is right here like you just got to think about it and talk and it's going to happen

1:30:20Harry Jowsey:Yes, yes. You know what I think is probably most incredible about you? And this isn't me trying to just gas you up at the end.

1:30:28Paul C. Brunson:6 '5", 12 million followers. What is it?

1:30:31Harry Jowsey:12 million? You keep fluctuating on the numbers. Eight, whatever. Well, after this, 50. 50, yeah, right. You're after this, definitely. This is the one. This is the one. This is the one. I've seen you open up here like never before. That's my guy. Yeah.

1:30:46Paul C. Brunson:That's because you're really good at this. Oh, what? This is hot-ass house.

1:30:50Harry Jowsey:But this is truly... So I remember reading about the X factor.

1:30:56Paul C. Brunson:Yeah.

1:30:57Harry Jowsey:Not the show. Oh, I'm not doing that one. Yeah. Can't sing, brother. But the X factor, which is something that a lot of researchers say a very small percentage of people are born with. Wow. And the X factor is something indescribable, but something that a very small number of people have that makes them extraordinary and makes people ultra compelled to them. And when you walked in here, in a second, I was like, this guy's got the X factor. And it's not being 6 '5 only. Because I've seen people who are five feet, you know what I mean? They got it. And they got it. You have got it. You truly, truly, I mean, I'm like, I'm a people watcher, man.

1:31:43Harry Jowsey:You got the X factor. Thank you, brother. and to whom much is given, much is required. And the one thing that I want you to definitely leave with is that you've got a lot of young men who look up to you and will find inspiration in how you are evolving in your life and your self-reflection and your search for religion and your opening up about grief and you're reflecting on your relationships. They're going to learn from you. so as you started as this young boy wanting to make people laugh i think ultimately what you're going to be doing is you're going to be changing the lives of many people by them witnessing how

1:32:26Paul C. Brunson:you change your life wow look at you yeah man dude that's you that's not really got no dude i thought x factor you're gonna bring out all my exes i'm like oh well actually that's the bonus Oh, where are they? I miss him. They don't text me back.

1:32:41Harry Jowsey:Yeah. Where are they? Dude, you're the best. But truly, Harry, thank you. I appreciate it. Really appreciate your time.

1:32:47Paul C. Brunson:Dude, you're the man. Yeah.

1:32:51Harry Jowsey:Right. Harry Jowsey. I think that's my new BFF. There's just something so warm about him that we all felt it on set, the moment that he walked in. He's special, really special guy. I'm shocked at the fact he is not proud of himself. I am incredibly proud of him. If you look at the steps that he's taken, if you look at how he's able to reflect on his life and the lessons he's pulled, he's matured. That's something to be incredibly proud of. Harry Jowsey, a deserving superstar on the rise.

1:33:29Paul C. Brunson:After Love Island, I didn't want to be here anymore. I thought that was... It's gonna be the best thing.

1:33:42Paul C. Brunson:I don't want to cry. I was like, no, mentally okay.

1:33:47Harry Jowsey:Maura Higgins is known after her skyrocket into the public eye through her appearance on Love Island. Maura has built a career in the spotlight, and on today's show, we'll step behind that spotlight to discuss her deeply personal challenges, battling grief, infidelity, and navigating the pressures of her rapid rise to fame.

1:34:06Paul C. Brunson:I definitely wasn't there for love. I'm literally going in because I've been cheated on. I was on a revenge strike. I had a breakdown. I had dark thoughts.

1:34:15Harry Jowsey:How dark was it? You have an experience with sexual assault.

1:34:20Paul C. Brunson:We got in a taxi coming home from a night out and my friends got dropped off before me. I fell asleep and I woke up and his hand was up my skirt. My partner at the time blamed me for that.

1:34:32Harry Jowsey:Blamed you?

1:34:33Paul C. Brunson:He said, you shouldn't have drank that much. He basically told me it was my fault.

1:34:37Harry Jowsey:What about relationships?

1:34:39Paul C. Brunson:If I'm seen with a man, I'm sleeping with him. Watch out.

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1:35:44Paul C. Brunson:I want a family. I'd love a husband. But I don't need one. I genuinely don't.

1:35:49Harry Jowsey:Have you ever been in love?