Maura Higgins EXCLUSIVE: Fame Didn't Matter After Love Island!

29 Oct 2024 · 2 h 1 min

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Podcast Summary: Maura Higgins EXCLUSIVE: Fame Didn't Matter After Love Island!

Podcast Overview Podcast Title: We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson Host: Paul C. Brunson Theme: Empowering people to have difficult conversations about human experiences and relationships.

Episode Highlights Guest: Maura Higgins, Love Island star Theme: Discussion of her life journey, emotional challenges, and personal growth.

Key Topics Discussed

  • Decision to Share Her Story:
  • Maura reveals her reluctance to share her life experiences in the past and why she felt compelled to do so now.
  • Family Dynamics:
  • Complex relationships with her parents, particularly her mother and father.
  • Impact of her father's absence on her emotional development and adult relationships.
  • Childhood Experiences:
  • Reflections on toxic school experiences that shaped her views on relationships and self-worth.
  • The influence of her childhood environment on her emotional health.
  • Romantic Relationships:
  • Exploration of her early dating experiences and the impact of her first serious relationship.
  • Acknowledgment of struggles with trust and expectations from partners.
  • Life After Love Island:
  • Insights into the pressures of instant fame and the mental health challenges that followed her rise to stardom.
  • Discussion on the balance between public perception and personal happiness.
  • Discussion on Vulnerability:
  • Maura’s journey towards embracing vulnerability and self-love as protective factors in her life.
  • The importance of surrounding oneself with supportive friends and family.
  • Mental Health Awareness:
  • Conversations about grief, loss, and the impact of sexual assault on her mental health.
  • Importance of seeking help and recognizing the signs of emotional distress.

Key Takeaways

  • Prioritize Mental Health:
  • Taking a break and surrounding oneself with supportive loved ones is crucial for mental well-being.
  • Courage to End Relationships:
  • Sometimes, ending a relationship is necessary for personal happiness, even if it's painful.
  • Self-Talk Matters:
  • Negative self-talk can lead to self-doubt and hinder personal growth; it's essential to promote positive affirmations to foster self-worth.

Final Reflections

  • Maura reflects on the lessons learned from her experiences, emphasizing the importance of self-love, vulnerability, and the courage to leave unhealthy relationships.
  • The podcast encapsulates the struggles of navigating fame, personal challenges, and the journey toward self-acceptance.

Sensitive Topics Mentioned

  • Grief
  • Sexual assault

Support Resources If you are affected by anything discussed in this podcast, consider reaching out to organizations such as:

  • [CALM](https://g2ul0.app.link/uULaUXcM3Nb)
  • [MIND](https://g2ul0.app.link/gbuRaxjM3Nb)

Conclusion In this insightful episode, Maura Higgins opens up about her life experiences and the emotional challenges she has faced. Her story is a reminder of the importance of self-love, the need to embrace vulnerability, and the power of authentic connections in overcoming life's hardships.

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Transcript

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0:00I'm NFL linebacker TJ Watt and this is my personal best. YPB by Abercrombie is the activewear I'm always wearing. That's why I reached out to co-design their latest drop. I work with designers to create high-performance activewear that holds up to my toughest workouts. Shop YPB by Abercrombie in-store, online, and in the app. Because your personal best is greater than anything.

0:48We'll be right back. Message privately with everyone. Learn more at whatsapp.com. In today's episode, we're joined by the one and only Maura Higgins, who is known after her skyrocket into the public eye through her appearance on Love Island. Maura has built a career in the spotlight, and on today's show, we'll step behind that spotlight to discuss her deeply personal challenges, battling grief, infidelity, and navigating the pressures of her rapid rise to fame, all while learning to find balance in her life. We kick things off talking about the start of Moor's career. My God, imagine being a monster girl.

1:29That would be so cool. You'd get to travel around the world. Some weeks I was taking nine flights a week. There was so much expected from me. We explore the struggles of overworking and mental health. You did have a breakdown. I had a breakdown. I had dark thoughts. How dark was it? while also speaking of her hopes for the future. And maybe I'll never have a man. I don't feel I need one. Do I want one? Yeah, that'd be nice. I want a family. But I don't need one. Have you ever been in love?

2:03Before we start, just one quick note. This conversation includes sensitive topics such as grief and sexual assault. If you are affected by anything in this podcast, we have included links in the show notes for organizations and charities that can offer support. I hope you love this conversation as much as I did. And please, if you do, it would be great if you could subscribe to the channel and share this episode.

2:34What I've noticed is that everyone else tries to tell your story. Yeah. And I'd never like to tell my story. But why? Why do you think you don't like to tell your story?

2:49I feel like being vulnerable, you're just opening up to get hurt. That's the way I feel. That's why I never open up. Okay. Because then people can throw things at you and say what they want. and whereas if you mask it and people don't know, they can't really do anything about it. It's from my research and where I've done a lot of research on you. Oh, God, I'm starting to sweat. I've done a lot of research on you. Just to let you know, some of that might not be true. Okay. So that's the beauty of this, right? But what I have noticed is that you have not done a full-length interview ever. But you're here.

3:33So I'd love to start. Feeling uncomfortable. But you're smiling. You're smiling. Yeah. You see. I see it. I see it. Yeah. Why now? I really like putting myself out of my comfort zone. And I've always said I'd never do this. But I just feel like, how can you grow if you don't, you know? Yes. So I'm hoping this will be good for me. Okay. All right. Because I am a very closed walk. I could see that. I could see that you're guarded. So let's walk together. Okay. All right, let's walk together. Let's start our walk in Ireland. Ireland. Ireland. And what I'd love to know is I want to start with the relationship that you had with your mother early.

4:26Tell me about mom. I've always been very, very close with mammy. Very close relationship. but it's a hard one because when I look back at my childhood I don't think I was a very happy kid okay I was the middle child when I ask mammy what was I like when I was really young she says I barely spoke I was very I was the quietest child I never really spoke a lot I just sat there smiling which is quite strange because now I'm the complete upset yes And she always brings that up. I can't understand. I can't understand why I was like that. But I don't necessarily felt, I don't think I felt happy, like, when I really dived back to when I was young.

5:18Yeah. I mean, that's an honest reflection, you know, of your childhood. What do you think it was about childhood that made you feel unhappy? I've always tried to think about this. and I don't know. Okay. I really don't know. Who could you go to to feel safe with?

5:43I don't know. Okay. That could be where it is. That could be where it is. I remember when I was very, very young and I never ever told anyone this. I used to have these crazy voices in my head but I can't pinpoint what the voices were. It was like my own voice, but it was in my head constantly. And I remember so many times I'd be like this going, my God, what is that? But I never spoke about it because I thought, God, everyone's going to think I'm crazy. What's interesting is that also lets me believe that you truly had, you felt like you had no one. Because if you didn't feel comfortable talking about it, meant that you didn't feel comfortable in the environment.

6:29How do you think your relationship with your father impacted the environment early on in your life? My dad worked a lot, which obviously, you know, I can't hate him for that. Like he's putting food on the table. Yes. So he wasn't really around. And then, I mean, I'm jumping on a bit, but when the divorce happened, it just, yeah, got worse. So when that divorce happened, I mean, that's a traumatic experience for anyone. How do you think that impacted you and the family? It was. It was a very nasty breakup. And a lot went on. Like things that I would never want to talk about because I would never want to like, I don't know.

7:22I wouldn't want to be saying things about my mom or dad. but now I don't have a relationship with my dad um when the breakup happened my mum was trying to keep a roof over four kids and herself and you know we were all in school it was very very hard and I remember seeing my mum struggle a lot um she had a nervous breakdown she collapsed in the kitchen in front of all of us and only for my older sister you know she was a lot older at the time and she knew to like put her on her side and call the ambulance and I don't know why I remember this but I remember mammy has a rare blood type and my older sister knew to say that to the paramedics and and I just remember thinking she's the head like and I just I did not move.

8:19I did not help my mom. I was young. I sat crying, like screaming, crying. I didn't know what was going on. So yeah, it was, that was a lot. You said you no longer have a relationship with your father. Is that the reason that, was it that time period? No, it was actually later. It was after I did Love Island. Okay. It's kind of a weird... We haven't spoken a few years now. But my dad spoke to me not very nice. And I'm not just saying like, you know, a bit of an argument. It was horrendous where I physically cut and breathe after the phone call. and I thought to myself like I wouldn't let a partner talk to me like that I wouldn't let my friends talk to me like that I'm not gonna let my dad talk to me like that but also I think if I dig deep I don't think I've I'm jumping a bit now sure I don't think I've ever like forgiven my dad for not being there for me when my best friend passed away okay okay and he wasn't there for me So it sounds like your father not only lets you down in that moment, which we'll definitely get to, but also you watched your mother struggle.

9:40You said you watched her struggle. And I know he did as well. I know he did.

9:49But he just did things that just, just not, yeah. Not what a father should do. Mm-hmm. Okay. But you were in a, as I see it, a very interesting school. And I say interesting, but I don't know. How do you define? It is crazy. Yeah, how do you explain it? And I think that's a lot of why I was so unhappy as a kid. Because I remember I used to come home from that school. And I used to think, I just used to cry my eyes out thinking, I have to go back there tomorrow. And you know what it's like with parents? Like every kid comes home from school going, their teacher is mean and blah, blah, blah. But he was awful.

10:35Yes. He was awful. So describe the school. The school was basically, from the outside, it looked like a shed and it was split into two. So on this side, that's where you start off when you're young, young. And the teacher was a really nice woman. Really, really nice. You go into the next classroom and then you're on to third class, fourth class, fifth class and sixth class. So you're there for four years. Okay. In one class. In one classroom. One half of a shed. One half of a shed. So in my class, the whole way from third class to sixth class, there was me and two boys. Three of you. Yeah. And we're being taught the same thing as the sixth class.

11:22Which, how does that make sense? but also we didn't learn a lot we learned maths we learned Irish which we don't speak we did learn a bit of history which was irrelevant also we were learning Irish but we weren't learning the translation of the Irish so that was quite you know that's really going to benefit me as well yes and yeah we never got taught English so I went into secondary school not knowing what a noun was not knowing what a verb was I was so clueless. Master Kelly said we don't need to learn English because we speak it. That was his view on it. This is an interesting setup. Oh yes yeah.

12:04What was discipline like in the school? We weren't allowed to speak at a normal tone that might be what the reason why I'm very loud. We had to scream and sometimes it would be that hard you would scream a lot where your veins be coming through your neck and he would walk straight by you and he would go I can't hear you and he would sit so calmly and then we'd have to go louder and louder and louder um discipline you would not be allowed to sit like that for starters I can't sit like this no no no really you are not allowed like your feet had to be fully flat okay your back had to be completely straight.

12:47Okay. Your table had to be so far away and your book, whatever you're writing on, cannot be any way crooked. It had to be center straight and you had to write like this. And God forbid you get comfortable and you do this, you're getting knuckled into the back. Really? Yeah. He would knuckle into the back and he would just say sit up straight. Wow. Yeah. And that was three years? Third, fourth, fifth, sixth, Four years. Four years. Four years of hell. We never got outside to play.

13:23Yeah, that wasn't a thing. When I listen to my friends in the UK and they're like, oh, like they name all these games that they used to do in school. And I'm like, oh my God, I bet that was so fun. I'm like, no, I didn't have that. We weren't allowed. So you would go to school, you'd be in that environment, you'd go home, and then what was the environment like at home? Well, he would give you that much homework that you couldn't do anything else. He would give you 25A4 pages to learn off by heart. And the next morning it was the same routine. We all had to say our prayers in Irish facing a wall.

13:59And then it was everyone had to basically say their homework. So you're facing a wall and you start on page one and you have to... I don't even think a robot would be able to do what he expected from us. Wait, hold on for a second. Maury, you're saying that you would have to recite your homework looking at a wall. And if you even hesitate on one word, he'll just go, sit down in that manner. And then it'd be 100 lines. So you have to write out 100 times, I shall learn my homework from now on. I shall learn my homework from now on. And all we did was lines most of the time rather than learn. and that was the reason we never had time to go outside because everyone had lines.

14:43Because we never learned our homework because it was impossible. When you reflect back now as an adult and you look at that, without question that's toxic, do you feel like that was an abusive environment? He had a bamboo stick. Yeah. And he would stand at the bottom of the classroom. He was in full control all the time. Like, even when you were eating lunch, you know, a normal, well, I mean, it's far from a normal school, but surely you can have a conversation with your friend? No. You're not allowed to speak. You're not allowed to speak? No. And so the bamboo stick was used? Yeah, he wouldn't, like, be it, but he would poke, you know?

15:28Sure, sure. Yeah. So you've gone through four years of this. I'm curious on the weekends what was your weekend like? I mean where was playing outside in a tree house with my dolls and pretending to be a mum and baking cakes with wet sand pretending to be a mum yeah weirdly I used to have incense sticks and I used to light them and be like this I don't know why it's so weird So you're a mom smoking. Pushing my little pram around, yeah. It's weird. Oh, my gosh. Now, when you look at all that, how does all of that, including the small, because it's a small town. Everyone knows everyone. You can see the top from the bottom.

16:17Of the town? Mm-hmm. Really? Mm-hmm. How does that, you think, inform you and your relationships as you get older? I don't know. You're not. Like, it probably does. Yes. But I mean, I'd love to know. Okay. I've never seen a therapist because I hate opening up, especially to strangers. That makes me very uncomfortable. Like, I'll open up to my mom. But I'm sure there is a lot of stuff from my past that comes in to my present. Yes. Yeah. Yes. We're going to unpack this. We're in this zone here. At what point do you start dating? My first boyfriend, I was 17. You were 17? Mm-hmm. Okay. I moved out of home.

17:12We moved in together. And I was with him for nine years. All right. Mm-hmm. So you moved out of home. Did you also, you dropped out of school at that time, didn't you? I dropped out of school when I was 16. Small town. So it must be from the small town. Yeah. and we went to the same secondary school um and it was so weird when i look back because i'm like i moved out when i was 17 with my first boyfriend but in a small town like that that's not odd it's it's really normal yes like i definitely wouldn't do that now um but yeah i was with nine years nine years typically in a smaller town you'd see marriage happen fairly quickly so what I understand is that you were engaged but never got married we got engaged when I knew I would have never married him we got engaged maybe a year before I separated from him so it shouldn't have happened but it just did and I think I don't know for some reason in our heads we think this will fix everything it's not going to fix anything what is a ring on your finger going to do it's I don't know why we think like this but yeah it definitely didn't fix anything um but yeah I just fell out of love okay that is literally and I remember I was speaking to a lot about it before I did it for quite a long time and I was just like I don't know how to do this.

18:46I don't want to break his hair, but I knew I had to. I had to do it because I just, I wasn't happy. Getting engaged or making a big commitment won't fix a relationship if deeper issues exist. It's important to recognize as Maura did when you're staying in a relationship out of habit or fear of hurting the other person rather than genuine love and fulfillment. Being honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings is key to finding true happiness and moving forward, even if it's difficult. At this time, though, you are now a hairdresser. Yes. Okay. But you're already, but I think that you've already started traveling outside of Ireland at this point.

19:30Yeah, so I obviously left school when I was 16. I went straight into hairdressing, got all my qualifications. It was something I always wanted to do. And I knew I didn't need to finish school to do that. And Mammy was very supportive, as always. And she was like, look, if this is what you want, go for it. So, yeah, I went to this train in college and then started off in salons, like apprenticeships. And I think you're on like a 50-year-old week. Okay. And, you know, you're sweeping the floor and you're making the coffee. And I loved it. I loved it. looking back like I loved it at the beginning ended up hating it but um yeah and then you know you start off then doing the odd blow dry and people's hair and then you're like oh my god I'm really getting a feel for this and you're getting your practice and I just really wanted to be fully qualified I wanted my own clientele I was so excited about it and and you know we always want more don't we as humans yes we do we always want more and it's just greed um but yeah I did it and I was a bit like god like I'm getting a bit bored now and I remember uh there was I don't know was an Instagram message or something and it was about monster energy um and they were looking for a girl to do one of the Irish jobs up in Belfast or something or Donegal or somewhere like that and I was literally oh my god imagine being a monster girl that would be so cool you'd get to travel around the world and I was a bit like I'm not gonna do it I'll just be disheartened like because I'm not even gonna reply because they'd probably just not have me my best friend at the time Andrew he pushed me into doing it and he was like just reply you'd never know and I was like I think it's like an audition process and like whatever so anyways I finally did it and that day was like a trial um and I loved it I loved everything about it it was so fun and then they sent me an email I think like a few days after and they were like um we'd love you to join the team but obviously I'm still in a salon at the time yes so I had to kind of work both because I didn't want to lose the salon in case there wasn't enough because obviously the monster jobs it's very summertime is very busy wintertime you're without a paycheck kind of thing okay so I didn't really want to lose that and then as I got busier with monster I was like you know what I'm just going to do this.

22:03I'm just going to, I'm going to quit the hairdressing and just risk it. But at this time, and what's great is that at the time, your best friend pushes you to do this. You have a boyfriend also at this time. So what was he thinking? Was he excited about you doing this? No. No.

22:22He, he didn't, he wasn't supportive. He, I think he kind of seen me as just stay in that town, open my own salon someday. but that's not what I wanted. My dad wanted the same. My dad wanted me to open up a salon and have my own business in the hometown but it's not what I wanted. That's your dream. That's not my dream. I want to do more. I want to travel the world. I'm young. Why not? So yeah, I don't think he... The ex-boyfriend definitely didn't. He didn't. He wasn't keen on it. He didn't. But it's interesting that you still had the grit to say, even though my boyfriend doesn't want me to do this, even though my father doesn't want me to do this, I'm still going to do it.

23:10That's something that not a lot of people have. So you have that, and so you're doing it. So it sounds like you loved it. I loved it. You loved working for Monster. I loved it. Yeah, I could see you were like, oh my gosh. I loved it. I met so many amazing people, and I traveled the world. I was in places like Indonesia, Africa, Like, even started doing some jobs out in America for them. Like, it was, some weeks I was taking nine flights a week. Wow. It was phenomenal. It was scary at the beginning. Obviously, taking my first flight by myself, and I'm just this little girl from the middle of Ireland, rural, just surrounded by cows and sheep.

23:47But I did it, and I was so proud I did it. And if I was to turn back time, I would have never changed that. When it comes to love, we're all on our own journey. And that means any advice we're given should be tailored to our love goals, not someone else's. This is where my show and Tinder, who sponsor this podcast, have teamed up to help you. Each week on We Need to Talk, I'll explore love and relationships through a different lens so you can get the advice that relates to your romantic situation. Tinder is for all types of relationships, and I truly believe it has the best tools to help you form the connections you're looking for.

24:25That might be long-term commitment or short-term experiences. Maybe it's friendship. But regardless of which part of the journey you're on, Tinder and I are here to support you. Their app is full of possibilities, and it's designed to help you explore every kind of connection. It starts with a swipe. So download Tinder. And then at that time, who was supporting you in this? Who was your support corner? Myself. Okay. okay I would imagine that was your mom was supportive of you traveling oh yeah okay no yeah and and your best friend he was yeah supportive yeah you've talked about a few times you've mentioned your best friend and I literally just saw you post something about him and I thought wow what a friend and this is where we have a similarity because my best friend passed away maybe about seven years ago now and i know how it never goes away no it doesn't the pain the pain never goes away and it's interesting because i love how you still represent the love that you that you have for him and in essence you're saying this love is never going to die you may not be here but this love that i have for you will never die and the fact that he was so supportive of you is also what my friend did for me when I decided to switch careers he was one of the few people who said do it when everyone else was saying don't do it you know so let's give him honor talk to me about him um what do you want to know I mean you know let's let's start with First is, you know, you had a male friend.

26:18I think that's even different for a lot of people, you know, to have a... I guess so. But you know what? In secondary school, I had more male friends than girlfriends. Girls can be bitches. They can be. I had a very, very, very, still to this day, close girlfriend. She's my longest, longest friend. We've been close since we were babies. three years old and it was me and her with all the boys all the time and it's I don't see a problem with being friends with guys I don't get it like even though I do love the saying the girls are for friendships boys are for fucking but it's not true or is it no it's not true though like you can have male friends.

27:11Do you agree? Or do you just think, no, there's always an agenda? You know what's so wild about this is that I am literally writing a new book. And this is one of my chapters. No way. Yes. This is mind-blowing. Please tell me you're not a genet. You're a genet, right? No, no. Right. I am for, I believe this is one of the biggest myths that exists. So you take heterosexual relationships you hear it all the time oh there's no way you can have a friend who of of a different gender there's no way there's no way there's no way are you serious the research actually shows that when you do you show up more emotionally intelligent in your own relationship so it sounds like you figured this out way before everyone did yeah yeah i think men and women like whether it's a friendship or a partnership whatever I think they complete each other like that's how I feel about it I don't know I get on so well with men yes as friends not as partners so in other words for you men are only for friendship well yeah I mean I've not had a great track record in the relationship okay but as far as friendship though to go back yeah what i what i do love is and i could already see that i could i would i would have guessed that about you that you had a strong group of fellas as as friends yeah uh so your best friend was a fella yeah andrew yeah right his nickname is mad dog mad dog oh my god gosh all right mad and that makes sense that your best friend would be mad yeah yeah uh did you have a nickname he used to call me fatty but do you know what in ireland our compliments to each other is we abuse each other and i get that a lot of people don't understand that but that's just the way we are yes like i don't greet my family and go oh you look nice and i'm like you look like shit and that is greeting them and complimenting them you know that's love yeah it's love that's love All right.

29:22So he clearly so he so he loved you. You loved him. Yeah, very much. His passing had a profound impact on your life. So so let's talk about that, because I've I've not heard I've read you mention about the passing. But I think this is a great place to to fully give context to it. So what happened? It was a bike accident.

29:53For so long, I blamed myself for it because when I look back at that day, the day was so crazy. It's not crazy. It's just like I can't work my head around it. He called me and he finished work early, which wasn't really meant to happen. And he was like, I finished work early. Let's grab some foods. And I was like, oh, I can't be fucked. It's like I'm still in my pajamas. I really can't be fucked. And honestly, I still to this and I'm not as bad as I was with it, but I still think, why didn't I just go with him? He wouldn't have been on the motorbike. We would have just went in his car. We would have got food.

30:35Maybe the day would have been different.

30:40And I, I don't want to cry.

30:50I'm so not a crier as well. I think I just beat myself up over it. Because it would have been different.

31:02You truly believe, you blame yourself. To this day. Well, I just know it would have been different. If I just got fucking dressed. and wasn't so lazy.

Read the full transcript

31:19You see, Mara, I've been in this exact place where my friend passed. Really? I blamed myself for not being there that evening. But I've come to terms with it. Yeah. That was his time. Do you believe that? I do. Because people say that all the time, but it's like, how do you know? You know why? Because it's happened. Yeah. And one thing that has helped me that I want to make sure that I share with you is you're still grieving your friend. I'm still grieving my friend. To the point where it's interesting is that any time I come into a room, I put him in the room with me. but one exercise that's helped me was writing a letter and in the letter I know I I couldn't give it to him but in the letter I told him I feel terrible for not being there I should have been there why were you there etc it was an accident how how he died but writing the letter was an act of forgiveness to myself right and it literally changed my perspective on the accident because that's what it was was an accident and I don't want you to continue to go through life feeling the burden of this it's also so weird because I did see him on the last day like yeah I didn't go for the dinner and you know I still seen him that day and I'll never forget him arriving on the bike and I remember I was straight away I said why are you driving the bike because he's not a biker and every time he was on it I was a bit like just I just don't understand like and I just didn't like I just didn't like it and he was like oh it's a great day you know yeah it's a lovely day outside the sun is splitting the stones and I was like oh whatever and um I'll never forget when he left and he said he was going to take a drive on the bike and I never forget like I went into the toilet and I could hear his motorbike and I got these shivers and I remember thinking to myself more I stopped thinking bad and then a few hours later I got a phone call and it's like it's such a weird day when I think back it's like was something trying to tell me that something bad was going to happen?

33:54Or is that just me over-tinking it and tinking things that aren't there? I don't know. Yeah. And, you know, that part of it, I think, I actually believe that we do have these premonitions, et cetera. But then also, what then happens, I would imagine this happened, because this happened to me, is that when I heard, I went cold. I went completely cold. Well, after you heard, what was your reaction? I didn't believe it. I called Andrew maybe the guts of 100 times over and over again. I kept going to his voicemail. I physically couldn't stop. And I just didn't think it was real. And it was my ex-boyfriend that told me the news.

34:50He called me. And then all of a sudden, it's really strange. For some reason, I don't remember. All of a sudden, my house was full of people. But I don't remember people coming in. But I remember my ex-boyfriend coming in. Okay. And I remember seeing his face. And I knew immediately by his face that it was true. It was true. How old are you at this time? He passed in 2017. So 25, 26. Okay, so this is 2017. 17 so this is close to right before love island did you start to model at this point um no i did some stuff when i was younger like little competitions and just little fun stuff i was doing uh ring girl stuff like uh i did some stuff with anthony joshua and like some of the big fights in london so when i was kind of having a free weekend from monster i would do the boxing okay Okay, fair enough.

35:47Yeah. So career-wise, what was your goal? You know, was it impact? Was it money? Was it fame? Was it all the above? I was broke and I was really struggling. I needed whatever job I could get at that point. So when me and my ex split up, I really, really struggled to pay for that house by myself, my car. I was taking trips to Dublin, which is an hour and a half every single, like an hour and a half there, an hour and a half back. And I had to get my flights. I needed money. There was a lot of times, like the winter times, where I sat with four pairs of fluffy socks, dressing gowns, and I would have the condensation out of my mouth because I couldn't afford my heating.

36:39And you mentioned that one contentious part of your relationship with your father is that he wasn't there to support you when Andrew passed. So were you looking for support from your father, emotional? It's really strange. I don't like to ask for help. And I'm not sure why. You were probably like, oh, I know why. I don't know what it is. I don't as hard as it is I will struggle if I have to I do remember having a phone call with my dad and I told him that I was struggling to keep the house and you know the bills were getting on top of me and blah blah blah and his words were you'll be alright so So, you know, I'm used to doing it by myself.

37:38That's what I've always done. Right. So in your way, you're inviting him to support you. And that took a lot for me to say that to him because, as I said, I don't like to ask or I just always let on I'm fine, even if I'm not. So that was quite hard. And the response I got, I thought, any wonder I don't like. Yeah. How do you feel when your father says that to you? You'll be all right. You don't care?

38:17As a parent now, I now have finally realized how impactful every moment I have with my children, because I have two boys, every moment is. Yeah. what is said what is not said your father should have supported you in some way in in that moment and he didn't so that's traumatizing it's traumatizing yeah now how how do you now at hearing this what do you now do i go into a bit of a like i'll show him i don't know why i do it all the time and then I remember like I mean jumping on a bit but just before Love Island I remember um my last conversation with my dad before going into the show and I never told him I was doing it and oh I hate the conversation ended where I remember he said something like how's it going with monster and I was saying it's great I love it you know this and he said oh yeah but like you know you're not going to do that forever you're not going to be young forever and I'm like just another knockdown just it's like you just want to knock me down that's how it felt like and I remember I don't know did I say it or think it and I remember thinking well I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna do whatever I'm gonna do because I've I've done it by myself I'm going to be the one to sort it out right like it's not like you're going to help me I'm going to get there without your help so I don't really need your backhanded compliment whatever it is that you're giving me and I just remember thinking like you just nothing's good enough right you know right are you feeling very alone at this point before Love Island yeah yeah are you dating anyone are you seeing anyone um i was for a few years um and he cheated on me multiple times i was contacted for love island like a couple of years and in a row and i always said no i really really liked this guy and uh they had came again this one year and i was like no you know i'm so happy and then i was like i need to go through his phone i just need to check you just need to check which i know a lot of people don't agree on whatever but look i'm glad i did now yes because i found more stuff than I ever thought I'd find.

41:12Like, multiple women. It wasn't just one, two, three. Jeez. Yeah, it was honestly, my heart was thumping. Jeez. Yeah. You know, when something like that happens, I know that there's also a debate of, okay, do I tell them or not? Do I tell my partner or not? What did you do? Did you confront him? No. You didn't? No, I was in his house in LA. I called my girlfriend back in Ireland. told her everything. She was like, oh my God, you need to go up and kill him. And I went, no, no, no, no. I went, that's too easy. It's too easy to just shout at him. What, and then that's it. Nah. Stayed in his house a few more days.

41:58Cuddled up to him. Told him I loved him. He went to the gym. I called back Love Island. I was like, I'll do the show. Then when I flew back, I did all my interviews and picture things and everything for the show, while still downed upon to him, I love you, miss you so much, baby. It sounds psychotic, but it was my way of dealing with it. And I actually wanted to go into the show without telling him. So I had spoke to the producers and they were like, oh, how long have you been single? And I was like, I'm not. I'm actually not. And they were like, what? and I was like well the guy is cheating on me at the moment so and they were like I just don't think you should do this because when you're in there he could say whatever he wants and you know they were looking out for me so I was like okay so I had to call him and I dumped him over the phone I mean he didn't deserve respect in my eyes um and then all of a sudden I think it was like very close to me going on love and like maybe a a week before going on the show i get a message and he's in my hometown he flew the whole way from america and he wanted to meet me i brought my girlfriend with me she sat there listening to the whole thing and i just said straight away i was like can i see your phone and he went sure and i just remembered one of the women and i said where's all your messages from her and he said never even heard of that girl and lucky to god when i went through his phone crazy crazy girl i videoed everything on my phone did you yeah yeah am i crazy no no you know what i was going to come back but let's let's just say that now is that uh the negative self-talk you have to stop right you've called yourself psychotic you called yourself crazy you called yourself greedy all within this conversation oh my god yeah you have i didn't realize that you have multiple times you can't do that okay you can't do that words are powerful yeah they really are i think you're brilliant i think what you're doing is all the right that's right yeah you're documenting evidence come on now that's what you're doing betrayal can trigger a wide range of emotions from anger to sadness and it's normal to feel overwhelmed.

44:23However, it's crucial to be mindful of your self-talk during these moments. It's easy to label yourself as crazy or overacting, but this only adds to the pain and undermines your self-worth. Instead, remind yourself that feelings are valid and that you're not to blame for someone else's dishonesty. By replacing negative thoughts with affirmations of your strength and self-respect, you can move forward with confidence and protect your well-being. Focusing on positive self-talk empowers you to heal and rebuild. To me, at least from your story, he's gaslighting you. That is, we often misuse words, but that's a gaslight right there.

45:07That's official dictionary gaslighting. I've got the evidence. Like, come on. Yeah. So the fact that you had the evidence, that's brilliant. but now let me ask you so he had flown there to win you back clearly he doesn't win you back no okay so he goes back he asked me to go to paris with him for the weekend just to talk just to talk and i was like absolutely not like it's not happening okay because you're going to love island well i'm going to love island so so now and i just wouldn't even if the show wasn't there I will not forgive that no not at all I'd never trust him again I would always be watching my I would I just say for instance he went out with his friends I'd be thinking what is he doing why isn't he replied to me I don't want to turn into that girl I don't want to be that girl but I just feel like apart from my best friend every guy has just let me down so I kind of I go into No one, well, I say no one, but I expect to be let down.

46:13There you go. And you can never be in a healthy relationship. If I'm expecting that. If you're expecting to be let down. Yeah. You know it already. Yeah. So that's something that you have to work on for yourself. But it also could be about how you're choosing your partners and who you're around. Oh, I can choose them. You can choose them. Oh, yeah. Very badly. There you go. it's about who you're allowing in your life. I told Mammy the next one has to be a serial killer. No, no, no, no. That's what I told her. She was like, what? I was like, Mammy, come on. No, no, not at all. One of the topics I wanted to talk about, this is a serious one, but I think this is also going to help quite a number of people.

46:54And I'm seeing that you've talked about it, but I want to give some stats. One out of four women in the UK have been raped or sexually assaulted as an adult. One out of four. Five in six women who are raped do not report it. Forty percent said they did not report it due to embarrassment. Thirty-eight percent said that they didn't think that the police could help. And then those 38 percent? Absolutely right. You know why? Because of the recorded rape cases in the U.K., only 2.6 percent of them have resulted in a charge. only 2.6 it is absolutely disgusting but i bring this up because you have an experience with sexual assault yeah and i'm trying to think what age was i i might have been i don't know maybe 27 i'm guessing not really sure um again blame myself yeah I genuinely blame myself what happened it's terrible we're we got in a taxi coming home from um night out my friends got in the back I got in the front because there was no more seats in the back I won't do that again and my friends got dropped off before me I fell asleep in the front seat I had a short dress on and I woke up I and I fell asleep like this obviously you know a few too many drinks and I woke up and his hand was up my skirt and I genuinely I never sobered up so quick in all my life I literally thought okay this is it and I don't know as I'm sure there's a lot of women that think of me like you always just have that fear of something like that happening always just as a woman you really do like I would never walk at night I would never get out a petrol station even to fill my car at night even though it's lit up I just won't do it and um I remember in Ireland because we don't have Ubers of course there is this uh big card it's like sat on the dashboard and it's got like a really really long number okay and my first thought was and I did not say anything because I thought if I say something he could genuinely knock me out I don't know I was just thinking the worst um and I had that number memorized in I would say less than five minutes and I remember I just kept looking straight ahead and I could see him.

49:39You know, you can see someone from the side profile and he just the whole way back, he just kept doing this. Staring at me and I thought, oh my God, he's going to pull over. He's going to pull over. And I remember getting out of my house and I just remember I could not get the key in the door. I was shaking that much and he was sat in the car with his lights on and I thought, oh my God, he's going to get out, he's going to get out. And the next day, I still remembered the long number, and I never reported him. And the reason I didn't is because I thought, that man knows where I live, and I live here alone, and I'm not living in fear.

50:21That was my initial. And I should have, I should have, because, you know, he could do that. Like, I do regret not reporting him, you know, he could do that to so many more women. But I was scared.

50:41you said that you you blame yourself in part though i think like because of getting in the front and having a few too many drinks and falling asleep like i didn't have my wits about me like i've learned from it though i now that will never happen again i think when you go through something like that you make sure that is not going to happen again yeah you know i have mammy on find my phone i don't get into the front seat of a taxi on my own fall asleep they're just things that you shouldn't be really doing i hear you that there are certain things that we should do to to protect ourselves proactively yeah but you can't blame yourself for some insidious human being assaulting you.

51:34Yeah. You cannot blame yourself. You didn't invite that. You didn't ask for that. You didn't deserve that. Yeah. You know? But also, I don't know, is it my partner at the time blamed me for that? Blamed him? He said, you shouldn't have drank that much. He basically told me it was my fault. So I think that might be that. Yeah. So there was no sympathy? No. Oh, God, no. No. It was, you clearly had too much to drink. What were you doing falling asleep in a taxi? Yeah. But that's kind of how I think about it. I'm like, how stupid. Like, I wouldn't do that now. But you do see now that you were not stupid.

52:21I want to go again. Yeah, yeah. That you were not to blame. God's sake. That your partner in the moment said something absolutely dangerous and toxic to you. But do you see now, though? Yeah. But do you see it? Do you believe it? I didn't know I was that mean to myself. Oh. I never actually know. Do you know what? I know that now that you've said that, every time I say, oh, Maury, you're such an idiot. I'm going to think of you. Please. I know I am. Please. I'm going to be like, oh my God, I'm doing that again. Yes. And now, how has nobody told me that before? I'm not sure. That's what I'm baffled with.

53:09I'm not sure. I guarantee you it's going to change your life though. I guarantee you. To be fair, Mammy does always say, you're very hard on yourself. There you go. You're very hard on yourself, Pat. Yeah, Pat. I love it. I love it. I did not realize that you went to Love Island basically as a - Revenge. I was on a revenge strike. Is that why you walked into Love Island so bold? Because epic walk-in when you came in. I went in there like guns blazing. I think I was so angry. And I was. I was very angry. It mightn't have come across like that. But internally, I was so angry. I was like, I've just been cheated on.

53:49Yes. Like, I was with him for a few years. and yeah, it was, I was, I was hurting, but I didn't show it. This was right around the time when I had moved to the UK. Okay. And I remember everyone, I was, I was doing a show and everyone was like, you have to watch Love Island. You have to watch Love Island. I was like, Love Island, what is this? And so I decided, okay, my wife and I sat down and said, all right, we're going to watch Love Island. Wow. And it just so happens that the only series I watched was your series. Oh no. God help you. Oh, my God. I remember when you came. I was like, she's going to be trouble.

54:26This one right here is going to be trouble. That's how you felt? Is that why? Because, all right, let's talk a little behind the scenes. Because I've been in reality TV for some time. And I know that normally when you have someone who comes in late, they're there to stir things up. Yeah. I was actually meant to be starting lineup. And they moved me. I think when they got to know me a bit, they were like, oh, send her in a bit later. So you felt as if you were intentionally sent in there to stir things up. I mean, they never said anything, but I think they knew I was very chaotic. Like I wasn't like any of my interviews with execs or anything.

55:05I was just I think my first interview, I was really drunk. Yeah, I was really drunk. And I remember the brief said dress how you would on a first day. And I rocked up in a in a tracksuit and trainers. And I was steaming, absolutely steaming. And I did not care. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Because you were on this revenge. Yeah. I was just like, yeah, whatever. Yeah. What percentage of you was there for love versus what percentage of you was there for other reasons?

55:38I definitely wasn't there for love and I didn't think I would be in there long enough for anything. I genuinely said to Mammy before I left, I'll be home in a week. I'm from the middle of Ireland. Ireland can't vote. They cannot vote. I was thinking, who's going to vote for me? I'm an Irish girl. So I genuinely expected to be out in no time. Did you? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I said, I'll go in there. I'll be chaotic and I'll be home. Interesting. Yeah. All right. So then you're in there and you're not home in a week. Yeah. Where's. So what so what are what are you thinking? Because I imagine it's so hard because you have no idea what the audience is thinking doing because you don't have your phone.

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57:46I'm a girl from the middle of Ireland. I'm literally going in here because I've been cheated on and a guy has hurt me. And it's just going to be a fun little experience and I'm going to be chaotic and come back home to Ireland. Yeah, yeah. I didn't really think much. You know, though, this now makes sense. Because it does. Because I find that those who become popular, let's say, on these programs for the most part are those who are not doing it for any external validation. It's all about them. They double down on themselves. But now you're in there and you know, but your mission is to be chaotic.

58:26So, and you're not after love. Yeah, and I didn't care. I didn't care. I was literally just going to be myself. I'm going to turn the place upside down if I have to. Maybe get some men, whatever. Like I'm just on a, I'm in a weird headspace. Yes. You know? You taught me something on that show, by the way. Really? You did. Me? You did. It was so major that my wife and I still talk about it to this day. Wow. Yes. So in the U.S., you know, a fanny. Is a bomb. Yes. Yeah. And when you said fanny flutters, I thought, how does your butt flutter? That is hilarious. How does the butt flood? I was like, tell me, what did she just say?

59:15Fanny, so thank you. Right. I appreciate it. Yeah, I forgot about that. But now, obviously, working in America, I've learned that. Yeah, so thank you. You're welcome. I appreciate that. Now, I would imagine, so we're not naming names, but I would imagine that there are people in there that you see, they're in there for fame.

59:37I don't think when I was in there, I was like, that person's definitely here for them. But I knew that you can quickly tell that people aren't being themselves and they're very aware of cameras. Yes. But I guess that, I don't know, because sometimes I'm like,

59:56I get it that if somebody is like, you know, noticing the cameras, because maybe they do care about saying the wrong thing or whatever, if you care. I kind of, that all went out. like I mean there's a camera in the toilet yeah they're gonna see everything like you know but I do think it's easy to kind of figure out like I don't think they're being themselves because it's it kind of comes across like an act yes strategically though because at the end of the day to stay it is about audience voting but it's also about you coupling and being in what feels like or what presents itself as a loving relationship so does that become part of the strategy well yeah you have to be with somebody to get to the end but the weird thing is like when you're locked in a house i say locked but you're in a house you're in there for x amount of time you're gonna start liking people that you wouldn't normally like not to be mean but you are you're in there i'm pretty sure it'd probably be the same on Big Brother.

1:01:09You're locked in that house. You're not seeing any other men. You're going to be like, oh, why not? You know? So there was a bunch of why not men in there. Well, yeah. I mean, they're not your dream man, are they? But like, it's the aim of the game. It is. It is. So there was no man in there that was a dream man. They were all why not. Absolutely not. That's fair. Could I say, though, what you're speaking is science, actually. It is called the law of proximity and also the law of propinquity. Oh, wow. Where the longer you spend time with someone, especially under stressful situations, the more that you become endeared and connected to them.

1:01:53Yeah. So this is why you drop anyone on an island, they're having sex. They think they're going to fall in love. They think they are in love, but they're not because the minute they go home, they're going to kill each other. You know? Yes. and this happens on LaValle all the time. Yeah, it does. So there's a bunch of why not men in there. Yeah. I would imagine then the person you end up settling with is a why not man. Oh, 100%. Okay. Yeah. Not my type. I would never, no. He had even DM'd me prior to the show. I ignored him. Interesting. But it's so crazy when you're in there. what we just spoke about.

1:02:35It's like, I don't know. Oh, so I didn't know this. So he had DM'd you to try to just shoot a shot, basically. Okay. And had you replied? No. I didn't even, no, didn't acknowledge it. Right, right. That series also happened to be, I'm sure you know, it was the most watched series of all time in the UK, Series 5 of Love Island. what do you think it was it was what do you think made that series so special such good characters like fiery characters just there was just a lot of big characters yeah and you were one of the biggest characters on there was i you know you were you know you were i mean i was just a bit lula yeah yeah can i say this too is i i saw this in the research and it blows my mind how we kind to forget things because when I view you now in the press and when I view you in the public I think the public loves you like I know you probably don't feel it all the time but on average people really adore you you know when you were coming in here people are excited like people are excited like people love you but when I was doing the research I realized that when you got into that villa the public wasn't on your side no immediately no no yeah um i uh i remember coming out and someone telling me pierce morgan said on live tv that you should be dragged out of the hair the villa by the head of your hair and i was like god i love pierce morgan i loved it oh you love it oh yeah i loved it i just thought it was hilarious and I was I was branded a predator I also found it very funny I was like I remember Mammy going that is not funny and I was like that is a bit like I'm not a predator now like but it is funny but yeah I was not very well liked but obviously I didn't know that thank god but I know I mean you are without question and I knew you would be this way before meeting you now I can fully say you're incredibly resilient there's no doubt about that you're resilient yeah but it still must feel draining in a way to to to know and feel as if the public is is against you or feels a certain way about you I don't I really don't like it's weird like if I go on to the Daily Mail comments like I do it because I just want to laugh.

1:05:20Okay. I don't really read the comments and go, they don't know me. Sure. They're not my family. They're not my friends. I don't really care. Interesting. What are in the comments? What do you see? Mostly I see she can't keep a man. That's one of the, lately that's one of the biggest ones. Also I look like Michael Jackson. Which is, Yeah, that comes up quite a lot. Really? Yeah. I think it's because I've got a really good nose. It's not surgery. I think people are jealous. I'm joking. But yeah, she can't keep a man. Okay. Obviously, I don't come out and talk about my relationships. Like, public relationships are like, you know, if something comes out in press, I'm more estate in such a person.

1:06:14And yeah, if it's true or not. I don't ever speak out about it if the relationship fails or whatever. But it's such a funny one because I read it and I'm going, she can't keep a man. She doesn't want to keep that man. Like, do I want to keep a cheater? Do I want to keep a narcissist? Do I want to keep a mental abuser? Someone who disrespects me every single day? Absolutely not. I don't want to. Like, I think it's quite empowering to know when to walk away and not put up with that shit. And I just won't put up with it. And maybe I'll never have a man because of that. I don't feel I need one. Do I want one?

1:06:53Yeah. That'd be nice. I want a family. I'd love a husband. I don't have a husband, great. But I don't need one. I genuinely don't. If it doesn't happen, I'm absolutely fine. Like, I've got enough self-love. So I'm like, whatever. Yes. Yes. so then take me to the moment that you walk out of Love Island because that's a moment that a lot of people you know on these projects look at because their life changes do you feel like your life changed when you walked out massively how so

1:07:36very very hard time in my life like never spoke about it I was just dropped to the UK it was like someone just picked me up dropped me to the UK and I was in the public eye I had nowhere to live I had no friends no family nobody I could trust and I'm a very very like I've done everything by myself I've been independent my whole life but that was a lot that was scary very very scary and i remember a lot of times i i was faking a smile work was so busy i was getting barely any sleep i was chased by the paps everywhere i went i had no clothes i had a suitcase with just love island bikinis that were probably crusty i had nothing absolutely none Where were you living?

1:08:36Out of a hotel. Because I had no, I didn't live here, obviously. And all my work was here. And it was way overloaded. So yeah, I remember my girlfriend back in Ireland. I was in a hotel. I don't remember any of this because she had to fill me in. all of a sudden I'm outside my hotel room door is shut behind me and I'm on the phone to her I have no recollection of how I got there where I was what I was doing and she was crying and she was going Maura are you okay and I remember going what the hell is going on she was like no Maura you're actually scaring me and she was like where are you and I said I'm outside the hotel room what is going on and she went you were asleep I called you you woke up and all you kept saying is, I'm not allowed to sleep.

1:09:33I can't sleep. I can't do this. And I was like, obviously just not mentally okay. I think I was just so overworked. And I just, I'll never forget. I'll never forget. Yeah, yeah. I've seen a lot of the celebrities, in particular from Love Island, I think become completely overworked to the point where I think it's an abusive relationship. What I've realized is that there's an even larger group of just, I don't even know what to call them because they're not managers. They're not agents. They just basically use and abuse talent and make as much money as they can. and I see that what happens is that you come out of Love Island and you go from, how many, like, what was your Instagram following jump?

1:10:29I think I went in there with like 40 ,000. I came out with, I don't know, it must have been 2 million maybe? See, I mean. Yeah, it was wild. It's just wild. So you had Paps following you, et cetera. Yeah. You're probably being booked to do public appearances every week. yeah and it was just it there was no break it was going from one thing to the next like to radio to to this photo shoot to um you know you've signed with brands and I'm sure there's so many listeners now that will be like why didn't you say no but it's also you're in this new world and you know with a brand deal you know you're thinking oh amazing now when I look at a brand deal I'm thinking you know okay well what's my deliverables how many grid posts is that a month how many stories is that you know what what do what am i expected and i want to know that back then i didn't know i never had a brand deal i didn't have a clue i was just like oh yeah great you know it wasn't it wasn't like someone's stem go yeah but you know you've got all this going on as well and you've got your own show with itv and you know you have a contract with this morning and you're doing dancing on ice as well and oh yeah but you don't have anywhere to live yet either you're doing cover shoots you're doing all these things and you're doing brand deals as well so where are you getting the time to do all of that right it's not possible right it's actually not possible so you feel like you almost had a a breakdown you did have a breakdown I had a breakdown I yeah I had dark thoughts very dark thoughts and it got to a stage where I don't even think I told my mum I tell my mum everything I didn't tell her how bad it was and I remember I think it might have been over a year after this whole thing happened I remember I was on FaceTime to my mum and my mum broke down crying and I remember I was so baffled I was like, Mami, what's wrong?

1:12:33she was like, this is the first time I've seen you back to yourself and I was like, what? and she was like, yeah I've not seen you back to your 70s it's taken this long over a year people are probably looking from the outside in saying she like she hit the lottery like I wish I could trade places with her I wish I could be here and you're saying that you were in a very dark place if I turned back if I was to turn back time I would have not taken on as much as I did and like ITV gave me my own show after Love Island and honestly Love Island ITV they were incredible and I like I know like a lot of people have you know their own things to say but you know I had someone call on my phone every single day you know to like the care team and whatever yes making sure I was okay but to me because I had so much going on I looked at that as like that's just another thing to do that I don't have time for but I when I filmed my own show with ITV Tinkham back I honestly don't even know how I did that I was in a terrible headspace even one day during film and I broke down in front of all of the producers and I'm not a crier like I it takes me a lot to cry and you know I'm still some of the producers were actually on Love Island I'm very close and I'm still to this day a great relationship and they're incredible and and I opened up to one of them and I said I'm really struggling I'm really really struggling I've just moved into this house I don't even have a kettle I have no time to even wash a pair of socks like I am exhausted and to even think that they still give me opportunities to this day because I look back and I'm like I can't imagine I was very nice to work with at that time I really don't I didn't realize this waited so much on you that period how dark was it pretty dark

1:14:53is there anything because you come out the other side

1:15:01well you know I'm going to go over there just because I think this is going to be helpful

1:15:09when you say pretty dark what is pretty dark I didn't want to be here anymore I thought that was it's going to be the best thing I couldn't I couldn't keep I felt like there was there was so much expected from me and because I was there on my own I was like I have just nobody to help. You know, people say moving house is stressful. Moving house is very stressful. Moving country while being thrown into the public eye is terrifying. Yes. In that moment, you wanted to take your life. Mm-hmm. So this is going to be so helpful to so many people. how did you go from that moment of wanting to take your life to that space a year later talking to your mother and she said that you're back what were those steps my girlfriend back in ireland um she called my agent at the time behind my back she's a queen yes and um she basically demanded that I come back to Ireland for a break and I got to go home I can't remember how long for and I just had my home comforts you know my my mammy my family my best friend I slept I I just because I didn't get to do that I never got to do that when I came out with a show you know the show is long like before walking into the show I was in lockdown for two and a half weeks that's right you know and i don't know i can't think how long the show goes on for but you're i think i left the end of may i think i what got out in august right it's a long time you want to get home to what you're used to and i never got that and i was just thrown in and smile on my face and you know you don't want to be rude to people when they're asking you for photos like i never want to be a rude person like no matter how hard of a day i'm having right you You know, like someone being so excited to get a picture with you, you can't be miserable, you know?

1:17:30Sure. But a lot of it was I felt like so mentally exhausted from just putting on the smile. I felt like I was, a lot of the things I did, like a lot of, I remember I shot a Grazia cover magazine. Okay. And I couldn't believe I got, I was like, I'm shooting a Grazia? Like I was like, oh my God, how? like that was like how the hell am I doing this I don't remember most of it I do not remember most of it I was I was falling asleep on a stool while I was getting my makeup done I didn't get to take it in I didn't get to enjoy it I was miserable like just yeah it's it's a lot of it is a blur Yeah, yeah.

1:18:18It really is. I mean, gosh, God bless your friend. What a woman. I'm telling you, she literally could have made the difference between you being here and not. Yeah. She knew it. She knew by listening to me that I was not me. She's known me for that long. But I was going to say, did you ever tell her or she just picked it up based on what you were saying? She picked it up. She picked it up. Okay. She knows me inside out. you know she just has to listen to my voice and she'll know if there's something wrong okay you know and I think you know what another thing which people would be like oh that's not really a big deal but it is and you're dealing with everything else you move over here and yeah Ireland and the UK aren't really far apart like what an hour on a plane it's so different I remember trying to get my first car here and I was so confused that where do you put your tax disc and you're they're usually on the windscreen no they don't go on the windscreen here okay my car needs an NCT everyone's saying what's that oh wait it's called an MOT go into the grocery store you're so used to doing it in Ireland you just know you know the look of a brand without reading it I had to go into the grocery store but I had to start reading everything I was like are they tea bags?

1:19:42like I don't know PG something done i was like i don't know what that is i don't know if it's tea bags it took so long to even do a grocery shop because i didn't even know all these brands i was like this is so confusing to me yes everything's different even certain words like cupboard we don't say cupboard like there's there's so much and then you know now i've got a lot used to it now when i'm talking to my friends I'd be like oh it's it's in the the cupboard if my family heard me saying that they'd be like oh oh okay look who she is look who she's now yeah yeah wow wow it was just a lot all at once I feel it I could feel it but I tell you from the outside looking in you would have never known never would have known I would have thought that was you were at the top of the world I wish I was.

1:20:35I wish. Yeah. During that time, what about relationships? Because you left Villo in a relationship. Yeah. Yeah, it's a weird one. I don't really look at it like a relationship. It's just like we never really spent time together. I broke up with him over a phone call. I didn't really have the respect to do it face to face. We just weren't. It just wasn't. There was nothing there. So it was, I mean, it was, I don't want to call it, it was an agreement almost. But do you think that he was in the relationship? No. Oh, he wasn't even in it? Well, I don't know, but I don't think so. Okay. Like, no, I don't think so.

1:21:23Okay. Okay. Fair. I could be wrong, but I can't imagine. did you both mutually break up or was it more so you saying no thank you I said it and he agreed so yeah okay okay there was nothing there it no like it wasn't love it was like it it wasn't the minute we got out like we were both so busy anyway and I mean let's be real if it was something that would have worked like there wasn't anything there There would have been at least fight. I agree. Yeah. There would be fight. There was absolutely none. There was no fight. No. So then your next relationship is with another Love Islander. Mm-hmm. Okay.

1:22:12So you know what's so wild is I know both of them. Awkward. Yeah, very. I feel like I'm betraying the bro code right now a little bit. But let's go there. So you were friends with him, though. Okay, so you were friends first. Yeah. We were friends for quite a while before anything. Before anything. Yeah. So you're friends, then you enter a romantic relationship. Yeah. That shouldn't have happened. Okay, why? I mean, I said it straight away. I said it, this will ruin the friendship. He said it will not. I said it will. Interesting. so it was friends and you decided to test the benefits yeah there was a night I think he was having a bit of a get together at his house and I'm really sure this is before anything happened maybe I don't know maybe we kissed I don't know and there was a lot of drink involved and he told me he loved me we were friends the next day I pretended I didn't remember it because I didn't want to have to face that conversation because it's so awkward I'm like what yeah and then he ended up bringing it up to me and then there was a conversation and then it was I'm trying to think how this all happened I didn't want to go there okay I genuinely believed it would ruin the friendship he taught otherwise so it ended up in a place where we can't be friends he said we can't be friends I need to fall out of love which is I took that quite hard because I'm like I'm losing a friend how is this my fault and then I don't think we spoke for a bit and then I'm not sure what happened but we obviously just shouldn't have happened it just shouldn't have happened I have to ask this.

1:24:20This is not betraying any bro code because this was televised. So I have to ask this. Okay. Because I specifically asked him. I said, did you love Maura? Yeah. He said, I did. I said, do you believe she loved you? And he said, no. Was that accurate?

1:24:50I guess everyone has a different way of showing love. I don't feel like he loved me. Okay. So I don't believe that. And, you know, if that's genuinely how he feels, like, fair. But he didn't come across me as he loved me. Okay. You know, he, yeah, no. Fair. Fair. so you feel as if he didn't love you did you love him no okay as a friend and i had love for him i wasn't in love with him all right that's fair that answers it yeah so then that relationship then there really was no relationship then at that point because you're friends and you wanted it you wanted it to remain friends but it it could you know we had this conversation you know we were we were so civil really civil and we said we'd you know give it a bit of time and then you know we can go for a coffee and you're like you know we'll we'll try and get that back but he would just not speak to me he he genuinely and it's not even being mean i think he's a great person and I was friends with him for a long time and I do have respect for him.

1:26:12But he genuinely acts like I cheated on him or I have treated him horribly. He goes to my gym. He will not even look my direction. I don't understand it. I've never done anything. I just didn't love him. I don't think that's very wrong. I would have gladly kept the friendship. I really would have. but that's his decision and I'll respect it. Yeah, you know, I think for some people it's very hard to sustain a relationship with someone that you have such deep feelings for. And I'm not saying that that is his case but perhaps, you know, that's what it is. But I would also imagine what becomes hard is that you then, and I think this is where the media has labeled you, so this is a great place for you to clarify, is there like, man, she's a man eater.

1:27:04Oh, yeah. I'm the man-eater. Yeah, yeah. She just runs through these guys. And so what is a relationship to you? What's a romantic relationship?

1:27:18Oh, dear God. Bless us all.

1:27:25The thing is, like, I don't want to sit and, like, you know, go, this guy did this. I'm not perfect. I know I'm not.

1:27:39This may help. Robert Sternberg. Have you heard of him? No. All right. He's a researcher. Okay. And he has come up with what's called the Sternberg theory of triangular love. All right. He says there's three parts that we need. One part is intimacy. And that's a deep connection with someone. And then there is trust slash commitment. Yes. So you know that the person who stands before you today is the same person that will stand before you tomorrow regardless. That won't happen. No. This is good though. But regardless of your circumstance, which is so important. So if you are down, they're still going to be with you.

1:28:16If you are up, they're still going to be with you. That'd be great. Why not? So now there's, that's commitment. There's intimacy. And then the last is passion. that there is a physical and sexual for most people, but doesn't have to be for all people, connection. So you have passion, you have commitment, and you have intimacy. If you have all three of these, you have what is considered to be consummate love. I consider that to be a relationship because if you have just two of those, it's not consummate love. It could be friendship like if you have intimacy closeness and commitment it's a good friend that's your friend in ireland who saved you you know what i mean you could have passion and intimacy with no commitment you know what i mean yeah have you ever been in a relationship that you feel had all three No.

1:29:14Oh God, no. I knew that the minute you were saying it. I've never had. No. I've been cheated on multiple times. Gaslit by most of them.

1:29:32No. No. Never trusted any of them for good reason. Okay. Yeah, I've not really...

1:29:44I always get like, I don't know, I always get with these people that I don't know, it's strange. I had an ex-partner say to me, I feel you don't need me. And I answered, I don't. When I told a lot of my friends this, they went, oh, you didn't. I was like, but I don't. I don't need him. like do I want him yeah I said to his face you're not my cake you're the cherry on my cake is that really bad like because my friends some of my friends were like I don't am I saying something wrong I don't feel like I need you like I also had a partner it's laughable tell me that he makes my life easier kind of hits the soul that because i know how independent i am yes and i said how i carry your bags he threw it in my face for carrying my bags really how the hell have i got this far in life without you carrying my bags i'm i'm so confused i don't know what i genuinely like and these are things that I'm like, I honestly, I can't deal with that.

1:31:07So what if we had a family and a house and God forbid you ever buy me an engagement ring, you're going to throw that at me as well? I bought you an engagement ring. Like it's, that to me is baffling. I don't know, it's a very bad pattern, very bad pattern of men. We said of men? Yeah. That I've been with. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's a, But it's a, yeah. Yeah. It, you know, it does sound that way. But obviously I'm not saying I'm perfect and I'm the angel. Because I'm sure I am very irritating and I'm sure I have a lot of faults. Like, you know, nobody's perfect. Right. Have you ever been in love?

1:31:57Uh.

1:32:02I don't know. I really don't know. And I'm sure if I was, I'd know, right? I think so. Yeah. So you feel like you've never... I don't feel like I can let my guard down enough. Like, I always, I'm always thinking like, hmm. Yes. it's really bad it's really bad the guard just will not come down and then when it does that's when everything goes wrong so that's why I tend to keep it up like do you know what I notice or maybe it's just more me I feel like men want me and then when they get me they don't want me that's how I feel I feel like they want that woman that's, you know, she's dressed up, she's confident, she's all of this.

1:33:06And then when they get me, which will take time, you know, and then when I'm myself and I'm, you know, because let's be honest, when you're at home, you want to be the girl and you want to be vulnerable and you want to be cute and have cuddles. And I feel like that's when I get like a different vibe. How much of your relationship is you showing up as Maura versus the Maura that you say that you want to be at home? I feel like when I'm at home, that's when I want to be my vulnerable. I don't want to be like that when I'm out. Like, I want to be like, I only want to be that vulnerable girl at home with my partner.

1:33:53I want to be able to ask him for advice. I want him to listen. Like, and vice versa. It's not just one-sided. Right. But I want to be that cute girl. But when I leave the house, I want to be, you know, girl boss. Like, you know? So can I ask you is, why can't you be both? It takes me a long time to get to that place with a man. A very long time. Okay. Many people feel the need to keep their guard up, presenting a confident image to attract others, but struggle to show vulnerability once they're in a relationship. It's important to recognize that true connection requires being authentic in both public and private spaces.

1:34:44Embrace the balance between being strong and confident while also allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your partner. This balance creates a deeper, more genuine relationship where you can feel safe about being your full self. I don't know why I have this in my head, but I'm like, when I get there, I'm like, it just seems that the relationship kind of just falls apart. So when we show up, typically when anyone shows up, they don't show up. Their representative shows up. And your representative is Maura. And let's call her Maura the boss. Okay. All right. So more of the boss shows up. And if your initial interactions with someone is just purely more of the boss and not more at home, that is the person that they'll want.

1:35:33That's the person that they'll expect all the time. And when you decide to show up then as your true self, not as your representative, you say, who is this? Why do I have this person? But it's like, it baffles me a bit because every guy that I get with, they're always trying to break down my walls. They'll always say to me, I cannot read you. I feel like you've got a guard up. And they'll try and chip away, chip away, chip away. And then they'll get it. And it's like, I don't know. And it mightn't be anything to do with like that side of things. I just feel like men love this chase. It's like the cat and the mouse.

1:36:17They want that all the time. And then when they get it, it's like, oh, got her now. That's that. So I will say that I think that people who are not interested genuinely in you, people who have maybe low self-esteem, people who have commitment issues, men, et cetera, that have these things, they're the ones who finally when they quote unquote get you know get your your time etc those are the ones who are going to say no but I think the challenge that you have and I would encourage you to try to do this is to show up more as your authentic self from the beginning you know see it's weird because I do like say if I meet someone and I'm at an event or whatever different story it's could be a work event whatever but if I go on a date with a guy I am my genuine self okay like if I have braces in I will hop them out at the table I will not go to the toilet to do that like I have no shame I'm very just like I don't really care yes and I know there's like you know I listen to some of my friends like oh I don't really want to eat in front of him and I'm like what like that none of that stuff bothers me I could have food all over my teeth my face I'm like whatever here's the best suggestion I can give is that you can't commit to someone until they've really proven themselves.

1:37:43And what it sounds like you could be doing is you could be committing too early. How long is too early? I give it months. Yeah. So this is why I say it could be too early is that everyone goes through different seasons. You always hear the divorce rate is what? I have no clue. It's 50%. Right. People say that half of relationships end in divorce. And that's true in the West, in the UK, the US, Ireland, et cetera, 50%. However, if you pull out just the people who have known each other exclusively and dated exclusively for two years and you look at their divorce rate, you know what that is? It's only like 20%.

1:38:21But the reason why is it's not because it's just two years. It's not an arbitrary number. It's because in two years, you know what you've seen? You've seen your partner lose a job. You've seen your partner get a job. you've seen your partner maybe lose a friend you've seen your partner you know um move yeah and you have an opportunity to see how they show up differently given life's different circumstances and based on watching how they show up in life's different circumstances now you know you know what i can commit to this person yeah the technical term is called low neuroticism someone who could be consistent.

1:39:02Yeah. The challenge that you could have, I'm not saying you do, but you could have is that you could be committing too early. And I know in the celebrity space, things move so fast. Yeah. Everything moves fast. Everything is heightened. And sometimes you feel like, okay, being with someone for three weeks can sometimes feel like it was three months because of all the things that you're doing. Yeah. But I would say that a good strategy for you could be to slow down. A good strategy for you is definitely to focus on your well-being. Yeah. A good strategy for you is to change your story. Because the most consistent story that I've heard from you today is negative self-talk.

1:39:48I'll never get this. I'm a psychopath. I'm crazy. This is bad. People think I'm bad. I've heard nothing but self-talk. Oh, wow. Nothing but self-talk. No one's ever told me that. I believe if you change your narrative, you'll change how you show up. And when you change how you show up, you'll change your life. Yeah. I truly believe that. So that to me feels like that's something that you can do right away. You begin checking yourself before you say, I'm a psychopath. Say, hold on for a second. Am I a psychopath? Have you killed anyone? Well, I just. Have you killed anyone? Not yet. but I feel like I just I don't see it as like no I genuinely believe it I just I do think a lot of it is an Irish thing we it's the we're just mean we have a meanness but it's not a real meanness like I know myself work but I will call myself a bitch and a whatever else so you know what I hear that and I hear the culture.

1:40:58I'm from New York. Yeah. We're as mean as they come. Yeah. I get it. However, it doesn't mean it is beneficial to you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Just because it's part of your culture. I say it all the time. Like in my culture, we're eating crazy. I was like, we don't need to eat these foods. Yeah. Just because it's in the culture, it's still killing us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so words matter. The more you use these words to describe yourself, the more that you actually believe those things. It's so important. Because I don't view you as that person at all. But to hear you call yourself that person, it makes me sad.

1:41:38Really? It does. It does. Do you feel the pressure to state that you have to stay relevant in order to continue to secure work?

1:41:54I don't really, I love my work. I don't care about the fame side. If that all died away, I'm happy. but obviously it has given me a lot of opportunities so that's the good of it i don't necessarily like the the press and the paparazzi and all of the rest yes yes but i love my job like the fact that i'm working in america now and stuff like i'm so grateful for love island because i wouldn't be there without it but yeah i don't i don't know like i've i've definitely like i've slowed down and i think that's a lot because of what i went through when i came out like i've learned to um only take on things that mean something to me um i'm in a fortunate situation that i can turn down stuff and only do the stuff i really want to do yes and that's pretty nice yes and I'm you know grateful for that yes because you know it's I don't know young Maura thinks back to when she struggled and couldn't afford her heat in and it's like you know sometimes I think of that and I'm like wow you know yeah I saw a photo of the car that you bought your mother and I thought wow you just achieved the dream that almost every child has yeah that was yeah big thing that yeah yeah it's incredible yeah what life can give you you know um but I also think that you should be incredibly proud I'm sure you are incredibly proud of of because you're a hard worker yeah you know you're a grafter you know um I've noticed that you've given quite a bit of relationship advice what yeah I've I've seen I've seen I've seen you on this morning and giving relationship advice.

1:43:52Well, come on.

1:43:57Like, why am I giving relationship advice? I don't know. Come on, I am in no position to be given. I said that at the time. I should not be given relationship advice. This is not a good idea. But I think they just liked the, you know, not give a shit attitude, you know, sack these men off if they're not treating you well and and that you know what i stand i stand by that i don't think any woman should put up with shit or a man you know yes yes um i think you're pulled in for relationship advice is because you're a straight shooter yeah yes yeah yes you know i see my front friends sometime and i'm like what are you doing yes wake up yes i'm I'm like, wake up, what is wrong with you?

1:44:44Leave. Like, and I know it's not easy for some people. It wasn't easy for me, my first relationship. I should have left four years before I did. You know? What advice do you give to yourself then? About relationships? Yeah. Stay single. Really? Seriously?

1:45:13I don't know what advice I'd give to myself because...

1:45:22I know I've got trust issues a million percent. So I'm already going into things like not very... I don't know. I just, I don't, I don't, I don't, honestly, I don't know. I don't know. Can I ask another question? This is about someone else, another mutual friend of ours. God, I've been around the block, haven't I? Oh, my God. It's like we know all the same people. And the reason why I ask this is because, I'll paint the picture, is that I hate events. There's only one event that I go to when invited, and that's the BAFTAs. Oh, okay. And this BAFTAs, this last BAFTAs, I didn't want to do the red carpet thing, And so I begged to be snuck in on the side.

1:46:15And when I walked in immediately, I like, because I was late, I just be lined it up. And I went and I stood in line. There was a massive line for the elevator. Oh, my God. Was I there? I remember being at that elevator. And when the doors opened, I did see you in the elevator. Oh, God. What was I doing? You were with someone in the elevator. With what? Not with with. You were standing next to someone. Oh, who was that? Yeah. It was a friend of ours, a mutual friend of ours. Okay. Who is that? I mean, can I say a name? He's on Strictly right now. Oh, yeah. Okay. I couldn't get in because there was a line.

1:46:57Right. But I wanted to walk up to him because at that time I didn't know you. Okay. I love and adore him. Yeah. He's an amazing person. He's an amazing guy. amazing guy yeah and i wanted to check in okay on him and i was like oh well who's he with here is this a thing is this a thing okay see you're jumping as well i know like everyone else i thought this is bad this is why i'm gonna clear it up because i was like maybe this is a thing maybe i shouldn't say anything maybe i should wow so so was it a thing we're friends so we've been do you know what's so weird we met very soon after me coming off the show okay like very soon um and we just instantly clicked our humor is like very same yeah it's the same it's like that sick dark humor it's very abusive we abuse each other very nasty hilarious like we just get on very, very well.

1:48:00Very, very well. Yes, yes. I adore him. He's amazing. All right, so that's friends. So I should have walked up and said, what's up? Because it was friends. Sure, yeah. Yeah. All right, all right. I think I had a boyfriend at that time. Oh, okay. I did. I apologize. I jumped to a conclusion. I saw the two. I was like, these two are together. Why do you think that is the case when it comes to you? well it happens to him all the time as well it does um i can understand with me and him because we are like it's just non-stop giggling and laughing and it probably does look like oh there must be something there yeah like i've been put with guys on the media that i've never even kissed i'm like come on it's just if i'm seen with a man I'm sleeping with them watch out right but is that to me that seems incredibly unfair it is I don't really I don't really care I never come out and go this is so not true I've learned saying nothing the story will die quicker so you're better off just saying nothing And I think I've just got used to it now.

1:49:25Like if I bump into a guy at an event and some sneaky person takes a photo and sells it to the press, like I'm going to be put with him tomorrow. Whatever. Like my friends know the truth. My family know the truth. I know the truth. That's really all that matters. That's it. Yeah. I don't really care. Yeah. You know, you're absolutely right on the say nothing. I'm new to the game, but I've learned say nothing and it does go away. Oh, it does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I never talk. Like, I don't ever speak out. Like, obviously, I don't do podcasts. I never talk to the press. Like, if I'm at an award or something, I run past them.

1:50:04Like, unless it's somebody that, like, oh, a familiar face. I'm like, oh, yeah, let's have a chat. Yes. But the only time I ever do interviews is if it's, you know, part of a contract or something like that. Because I know everything is twisted. Yeah. The clickbait headlines. And then when you go into the article, what does the headline mean? because it's just a constant, and it just gets annoying. Yeah, but the media often gets things wrong about you. Is there anything that we have not talked about that you want to set the record straight on? Ooh, I'm trying to think what have they said about me.

1:50:40What haven't they said about me? This is a great, I think, space to correct if you can think of anything. I think that you already have, quite honestly. you've set the record straight on many things. You've been a feminist. You've been an advocate for sex positivity. And to me, what I realize is that your mother was that person. Yeah, strong woman. Yes. And do you know what? Being on Love Island, it wasn't – I didn't really think about, like, you know, people would have such a – a lot of things to say about me talking about sex because I was so used, I was used to being open about sex and that was never weird for me.

1:51:27And I get that some people aren't comfortable with their parents about those topics, but like, it just wasn't, it wasn't odd for me. Like, yeah. And I just, I just, I just see it as equal. We're all equal. Why, why can men say, oh, I'm going to bang her. Why can't I say I'm going to bang him? why not why not I'm a slag if I say that that's what you'd be branded anyway I just don't agree I don't agree on all of that I'm just like I don't know I just think equality yes you know yes yes alright so let me hit you with this one it's my last question everyone gets this question oh god I cannot wait to hear your answer so when you think back to your beautiful life, right?

1:52:22You've had some incredible conversations. Who do you believe you had the most memorable conversation with? What did you talk about? And what was the lesson that you pulled from that conversation? Most memorable conversation you've had.

1:52:43Wow, that's tough. The most memorable conversation I've had. the most memorable? This one would probably be it. Because I feel like I've sat here a lot of times throughout where I'm going, like, I know I'll be thinking about this. And I'll be going, wow. Because there's certain things that, like, you said. I'm like, I know I'm going to take that away. But I don't know if I've ever had a very memorable conversation. They've probably been all drunk conversations. Yeah, that's hard. I'm sure you've had a great one with your mother. Oh, well, we have great conversations. Yeah, funny conversations.

1:53:34Wow. And on that note, that's why I'm so happy that you're here. Because I was very excited to talk to you. Oh, thank you. When we talk about different guests. literally I literally go through and I'm like pass pass pass pass pass Maura please and the reason why I think I was so excited to talk to you is because I knew there was an amazing story behind this person that I see presented and you truly I believe are strength personified I'm not just saying that to gas you up like I truly believe you are a strong woman. And I think so many of us kind of fake our strength. And I know sometimes you have to play it up a little bit.

1:54:23I know you have to play it up. But you're strong. And you're resilient. And you're gritty. And because of that, you are going to continue to be incredibly successful in life. And I think you'll be incredibly successful in your relationships. and I truly believe you're going to have the family that you dreamt about when you were a little girl in Ireland. I think you're going to be pushing that stroller. Oh, that is cute. I do. I truly believe that's going to happen for you. So continue to be that person. Continue to learn. Continue to check how you. I do like to learn. Yes. Continue to check your story and your narrative.

1:55:07and life is going to continue to fly for you. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for your time. Yeah, thank you. No, thank you. Honestly, I've learned a lot. Yeah. I'm glad. I'm glad. I've learned a lot. Have you? Yeah. All right. I thoroughly enjoyed this episode with Maura, and I want to give you my key takeaways. Number one, Maura's experience shows the importance of taking a break for your mental health. When life gets overwhelming, stepping back and allowing yourself time to rest can be a powerful reset. As Maura shared, her friend insisted she return to Ireland for a break where she could be surrounded by loved ones and just sleep, something she hadn't been able to do after Love Island.

1:55:59It's a reminder that rest is not a luxury. It's essential for recovery. Taking time for yourself, especially during tough times, helps restore balance and clarity, allowing you to come back stronger with a clearer mind. Number two, Maura's experience teaches an important lesson about the courage to do what's right, even when it's difficult. She said, I don't want to break his heart, but I knew I had to. In relationships, it's natural to fear hurting someone, especially when we know a breakup is necessary. But staying out of guilt or obligation often causes more harm in the long run. The takeaway here is simple.

1:56:40That is, sometimes the most loving and respectful action is to be honest and end things. It may be painful in the moment, but it allows both people to heal, grow, and eventually find the happiness they deserve. Making the tough choice to let go can ultimately lead to the most positive outcome for everyone involved. And number three, quite honestly, this is the most important takeaway. way. Hearing Maura describe herself as crazy, greedy, and psychotic, no. These labels can become self-fulfilling, shaping how we see ourselves and act in relationships. Negative self-talk traps us in a cycle of self-doubt, making it hard to grow and connect authentically.

1:57:26To change this, start by recognizing these harmful thoughts and reframing them with affirmations that focus on your strengths, like I am self-aware, I am resilient. Surround yourself with supportive people who reinforce this new narrative. By consistently practicing this shift, you can break free from limiting beliefs, building healthier relationships, and show up in your life with more confidence and authenticity. And that's it. I hope you enjoyed this conversation as much as I did. Just to note again, if you are affected by anything in this podcast, we've included links to the show notes for organizations and charities that can offer support.

1:58:09Aside from this, please don't forget to hit the subscribe button, like, comment, and share our show, and we'll see you in the next episode. Much love. It's the eternal struggle most of us face, building a fulfilling, successful career, but also being an available partner, parent, and friend. It never lets up and sometimes compounds to an overwhelming feeling of being stretched too thin. But there are ways to ease the load, and today I want to introduce you to one of them, who is also a sponsor of this podcast. Fiverr is the marketplace where you'll find thousands of highly skilled freelancers ready to take on your business needs.

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From the publisher

In this exclusive episode, Love Island star Maura Higgins opens up about the intimate and personal aspects of her life journey, shedding light on the emotional challenges she’s encountered since entering the spotlight.
From heartbreak, loss, and betrayal to the pressures of living in the public eye, Maura discusses how embracing vulnerability and practicing self-love have helped her stay true to herself.
In her debut podcast episode, Maura’s story of resilience and personal growth is both empowering and relatable, especially for anyone navigating similar hardships.

This conversation includes sensitive topics such as grief and sexual assault.
If you are affected by anything in this podcast, please use these links to organisations that can offer support:

CALM: https://g2ul0.app.link/uULaUXcM3Nb
MIND: https://g2ul0.app.link/gbuRaxjM3Nb

Follow Maura here:
https://g2ul0.app.link/7kCDv2mM3Nb

Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod

—

00:00 Introduction
01:38 Maura Reveals Why She Rarely Shares Her Story
02:45 Why Maura Chose Now for Her First In-depth Interview
03:30 Exploring Maura's Complex Relationship With Her Mother
04:21 Insights into Maura's Childhood Experiences
05:39 Understanding Maura's Relationship With Her Father
08:59 Analyzing Maura's School Life Experiences
12:40 What Was It Like in Maura's Childhood Home?
13:49 Toxic School Experiences: Maura's Story
14:32 Weekends in Maura's Childhood: A Deep Dive
15:11 How Maura's Early Life Influenced Her Adult Relationships
15:58 Maura's Dating Life Beginnings Uncovered
16:25 Maura's First Romantic Relationship Explored
18:24 Maura's Journey to Becoming a Hairdresser
21:09 Maura's Early Days in the Public Eye
22:55 Promotional Segment: Tinder Advertisement
23:48 The Story of Maura and Her Best Friend
26:04 Can Men and Women Be Just Friends? Maura Discusses
28:24 Maura Confronts the Loss of Her Best Friend
35:26 Maura's Lack of Emotional Support from Her Father
36:08 The Truth About Maura's Cheating Ex-Partner
45:50 Maura Discusses Her Experience with Sexual Assault
52:22 Inside Maura's Love Island Adventure
58:54 Exploring Maura's Relationships on Love Island
01:01:34 Public Perceptions of Maura Post-Love Island
01:05:06 Life Changes for Maura After Love Island
01:10:54 Maura's Mental Health After Love Island: A Breakdown
01:25:45 Exploring the 'Triangular Love' Theory
01:27:11 Has Maura Ever Been in a Fulfilling Relationship?
01:29:44 Maura Discusses: What It Means to Truly Love
01:39:49 Maura on Staying Relevant: Career Pressures Post-Fame
01:41:58 Maura's Advice on Relationships
01:43:49 Maura at the BAFTAs: Celebrity Connections Revealed
01:50:41 Most Memorable Questions Asked to Maura
01:53:33 Key Insights from Paul's Interview with Maura
01:56:26 Advertisement Segment: Fiverr Promotion

—

Sponsored by:
Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB/
Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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