Megan Barton-Hanson Unfiltered! How I Became A Top Model On Only Fans! The Real Reason I Went On Love Island!

52:12It was like let me give this poor cow a break and let her like at least fall in love for a minute while she's going through this shitstorm. It was the love that got you through. So this is 2019 when this happens which is the year I met you. What then happens with your love? Oh so this is when it gets really dark. This was like the worst part of my life so I'd come out all the negative press like worse than I could ever imagine so then the whole idea of making money just been put on like hope I couldn't trust I'd always when I was in the strip club and working in that thing I was my own boss I had no one dictating to me so to find a manager for me I just didn't feel comfortable that people weren't going to use me and tell me to do different opportunities, there were quick money, I needed longevity because now my sex industry thing has just been torn to shreds and I was this sleazy ex-pawn star that everyone was like, uh, and I've just said in interviews, that was in my past, I was just growing, I wasn't academic, that's behind me, I was on the cover of Grazia, I thought, okay, this is my new, classy, straight life, um but i just didn't know who to trust in terms of management so i just turned a lot of work down and just focused on like i don't know i guess just being in love being in this relationship and then for that's not rushing to a quick deal you know when people do these fast fashion deals and it just all goes to shit yes let me just sit for a second because i knew i was like although i was hated i was still other than the winners danny i was quite like one of the top talked about once yes you're quite popular so yes so i was trying to just like chill with that for a second but in the meantime my baby brother who i've looked after from being a baby had a mental breakdown so that was like that was hell and then was cheating on me it was just like oh my god it was just a lot and like that six months was just mental I thought, Christ, I only wanted a few more OnlyFans followers.

54:21I'm just going to get my tits out. Why has this gone so bad?

54:27But, yeah, it was hard. We have to talk about your brother. Because here's the one that you protected. Yeah. Did you feel like you couldn't protect him? I didn't know. Like, every day, even when I'd, like, work with you and be filming, I'll be like, is he going to be alive tonight? Or is he going to be like, is something going to happen? And he just, oh, I'll just get the call that something bad's happened. It was crazy. And I don't know if you've ever experienced someone having like psychosis and like a mental break. It wasn't him. It wasn't my brother that I've looked after from him being tiny.

55:07He was just gone. Like, and I felt horrible and helpless because he would turn up at my door and I'd be like, I can't see you like this. It would scare me, even though he's my brother. Like, it just wasn't him. But, yeah, I just think it compounded all the different things, the trolling, the headlines. It was the public humiliation aspect of that. Then my brother, I just thought, fucking hell. It all hits you. Can't you get a break? You know, and this makes sense why when I met you, You seemed to be just a shadow of yourself. I literally was. I don't know how I'd done it. I would turn up and I would just be this robot and just be like, go on these dates with people and just go through the motions.

55:51I wasn't there. And I didn't realize how close it was. So, you know, so we met on Slubs Go Dating. But at this point, you must have just broken up with Wes. Yeah. And I said to the psych and I said to them, the only trigger for me, I don't want to see him. please don't bring him on the show because I was in love with him still for a long time probably like a year um because especially being a sex worker like my life didn't allow me to meet men like that so then to have like eight weeks with this person and it's not because how much money I'm not paying for his shit it's not because he can like brag to his mates it was for me I felt he loved me for me so that was really really hard so I said to producers please just one thing don't bring him on because i can't and then jack luckily jack fincham he was filmed with us yes give me the heads up by the way he signed a contract is coming on and i went mental i was like do you think i need to be here for this money i'm leaving wow it was a lot you know now it's bringing it's bringing back my memories what but it ended up that he didn't come on no because i said i would leave but like i could my my mental health but what a full circle for me to be like i'm going on love island for money that bit me in the ass didn't it what what a full circle though you went up for money you then fall in love you then break up you're you're you're you're in this haze now can i have to ask so if if you're still you still have feelings for wes your brother is going through the toughest time of his life you're going through the toughest time in your life why come on celebs go dating because i didn't have a job i didn't know where i was going from there if i'd come off of this show i've been publicly ridiculed for being a sex worker stripper which i was so happy and confident in my own little bubble with and my morals didn't change i still believe it's one of the bravest jobs you can do yes liberating powerful and there's only a demand for it because of men so if they've got an issue don't such paths we would be out of a job then the issue's solved but i i got publicly like scrutinized for that so i didn't i didn't know where i was gonna go if i didn't take the job I didn't want to be homeless.

58:17I was paying my own rent. Like, I didn't have rich parents to rely on. I had to make it work. Yeah, yeah. So at this point, your thought is, okay, I'm going to be on this show, and I'm here really for the check, and hopefully I get some opportunities out of it. I am selfish. Well, I say selfish, but I try and, like, you could say positive, you could say selfish, I don't know. I thought, since I'm there, and do you remember when I was trying to date girls in Southend and there was none? Yes. I was like, this can be my little fun part then. So really, I'm heartbroken over my brother on Wes. I'm publicly humiliated.

58:55But if I'm going to do a show, I'm going to make the money. And they can nitpick me girls. I don't know how to find these hot girls. So there we go. Yeah. And now we have Demi Sims. What a babe. Oh, my gosh. I love Demi. I love the whole family. Right. I love the whole family. Oh, they're iconic. I think a lot of people thought when you did Slubs Go Dating, you know what? This is a gimmick. This bisexuality situation is all a gimmick. But clearly it wasn't. But did you feel that as well? Yeah. That people thought it was a gimmick? I saw it all. The headlines, oh, she's just trying to stay relevant and do this and do that.

59:40Little did they know that. it was like downloading the hinge when i was like 16 and being called like a big lesbian but my brother's expert like obviously there was something in me that liked girls but um but but but also not just you though don't you feel as if uh when women have queer relationships that they're just not looked upon as serious yeah true actually and i think it's not yeah it's maybe not personal and because i was like a woman who it seems to be like glamorous and stuff and like maybe like quite sexual that she's doing it for more male attention she's trying to please men do you think maybe some people thought that yeah yeah i think so uh but but you rented dummy my wildest moment ever of ever of celebs go dating was a scene with you oh no but i'm sure you have no idea because you were completely wasted in this we were what island did we go to we went to some island crepe yeah it was great we were doing a scene it was me you anna demi in the scene right you two had way way way way way too much to drink you had a shirt on that basically was like suspenders over your over your breast it was just like your nipples were covered up your mic kept falling out and you you had at one point because i was sitting next to you said like you were telling me to move your mic and i was like

1:01:09i'm not moving the mic i was like i'm not moving the mic so we grabbed this and i couldn't even understand what you were saying you were like i said i can't believe this did you notice my accent goes australian all of a sudden when i'm drunk I started going like, you're right, man. I was like, what is going on? But when we came back from Crete, we landed at the airport. And that's how I could really tell on Celebs Go Dating. And even on Married at First Sight, I could tell when the cameras are off, if the relationships are real. Yes. And I saw you two holding hands in the airport. Yeah. So that was a real relationship.

1:01:52Yeah. even to this day I love her and we still have like a flowy friendship but yeah I wish you did it could have progressed more do you believe in soulmates? I think you can have many okay do you? yeah so I don't believe in soulmates in that I don't believe that soulmates are found I believe that soulmates are created right right and to me it's created through the good times the bad times etc And what ends up happening is that you end up building emotional intimacy. When I was in my 20s, I say to my friends, it pisses me off. I used to look at a man and be like, oh my God, you've got a six pack and you're really tall.

1:02:33Let me do this. Now, unless I respect you, it's got so much heavier now for me as I've got older. One of the most important lessons here is the idea that soulmates aren't found, they're created. Relationships thrive when we lean into the process of building emotional intimacy through trust, safety, and shared experiences. It's not about perfection or waiting for the right one to appear. It's about choosing to grow together, even through challenges. True connection deepens when we prioritize respect and vulnerability. This is a reminder that the relationships we cherish most are the ones that we nurture intentionally and consistently.

1:03:14The magic isn't in finding. it's in creating. So how did that happen? Was it just a conversation? Was it her? Was it you? How did it happen? It was me, really. I think as much as I, she ticked so many boxes and I loved her company and I found her beautiful and smart and funny. I just think the whole, where I was in my life, I wasn't ready. My brother was still going through it, even after we wrapped filming. really i hadn't addressed with the feelings that i had for wes which had been a long time i think i was single for like three years prior to love island okay so i was still kind of like processing that um i just my mind was just scrambled i was like what am i gonna do now this show's wrapped for money next like i didn't know the whole yeah that was just a really dark time and i just felt the last thing I need to do when I respected her and I don't know why it's probably wrong I have more respect I guess or like I want to safeguard her feelings but just quickly ending it whereas if it was a man I know it's me I probably would have like played him along a bit and just been like let's just fuck around and find out and see what happens because you're a big tough man whereas with Demi she's a beautiful princess I'm not trying to hurt her like that Well, so you cared about her so much that you wanted to be transparent and honest with her.

1:04:42And to be honest, she probably won't mind me saying since the show, we have like flirted and like. gone on dates and that's always the thing that keeps me back and even her mum said to her She said, I think she loves you so much as a friend. I don't have a big circle of friends. I respect her and love her so much. I don't even want to push it over that boundary of more than just kissing. Because I feel like I am a lover girl. And I feel like if we fully do, I don't want to ruin what we have. Wow. So right now, it's a good friendship. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. I love it. I say, too, shout out to Demi Simms.

1:05:19One of the best dressed people out here on the planet, man. She's so effortlessly cool. Oh, my gosh. You know, I like looking, I was like, I'm going to definitely do that. Like, I'm just going to do it in a different color. You know what I mean? Yeah, she's, yeah, effortlessly, effortlessly. So you always dress nice. Oh, I mean, you're on point as well. We Need to Talk is quite literally brought to you by Adobe Express, the quick and easy Create Anything app from Adobe. The team uses it to create materials for the show, from the cover art to the social posts. But I think you'll get a lot out of it too.

1:05:54What sets Adobe Express apart is how it puts content creation within reach for everyone. Whether you're making a personal vision board, drafting a business manifesto, or creating social content on the go. With templates for everything, from Instagram reels to presentations, you can easily make it your own without starting from scratch. It's intuitive and accessible, so you can bring your ideas to life effortlessly. And that's the beauty of it. Adobe Express makes sure that creativity isn't just for the professionals. It's for anyone with an idea. It levels the playing field, giving you the confidence to create something that truly stands out, no matter where you're starting from.

1:06:33Search Adobe Express to get started. When it comes to love, we're all on our own journey. And that means any advice we're given should be tailored to our love goals, not someone else's. This is where my show and Tinder, who sponsor this podcast, have teamed up to help you. Each week on We Need to Talk, I'll explore love and relationships through a different lens, so you can get the advice that relates to your romantic situation. Tinder is for all types of relationships, and I truly believe it has the best tools to help you form the connections you're looking for. That might be long-term commitment or short-term experiences.

1:07:13Maybe it's friendship. But regardless of which part of the journey you're on, Tinder and I are here to support you. Their app is full of possibilities, and it's designed to help you explore every kind of connection. It starts with a swipe. So download Tinder today. You said you are now single. And you've been single for how many years? I had, like, brief periods of seeing people. But I wouldn't say, yeah. like i was with people for like six to nine months okay so brief periods but but single do you believe that it's harder for you to date a thousand percent a thousand percent why multiple reasons i feel like even if i wasn't in the public eye just being a sex worker as much as I hate to admit it there is a level of like people respect you less I don't know how to phrase that they're not disrespecting me but they just don't hire hold me in such high regard as a woman who maybe just had a normal job and said she's only had like two sexual partners there is either it's conscious or subconscious i feel like there's a level of you know yeah a little bit less does it does it feel that way when you're on dates does it does it feel like it does yeah how so so it's mixed bags sometimes guys turn up and they're literally shaking and i'm like whoa like chill out i'm not gonna like eat you i know everyone said megan's a man eater but like that's not take it literally like you're fine i'm not gonna hurt you but then other times they'll come and within the first 10 minutes they're like trying to get cocktails in trying to be like talking about sex and i'm like no if you wanted that go and get someone off for like a website because that's not what i'm here for it's like you wouldn't go on a date with a doctor within 10 minutes be like oh mate would you look on my arm it's really sore like oh god that's true that's very good so so so so the dates they're very sexually aggressive a lot I find with like people that I'd read on like dating apps and then it's just hard with people like in the industry it's like do you actually like me for me or you're just trying to get some press and like it's just a tricky one yeah it's a mind film yeah it is hard it is hard um do you find that is it easier to date men or women easier to date women but once you get into with it and you catch feelings i think is so many emotions with women okay and that's what's kind of put me off i would never say never with a woman but i think where i stand now obviously i'm aware of my biological clock and i've got i've turned 30 and my mom had quite like an early menopause so i feel like i've got 10 years max to have kids okay so it's not a point now i can just like date for the sake of dating.

1:10:21I want to date with intention. Interesting. So if a woman, I just happen to meet them, I'm not going to rule it out, but I'm not going to be on apps looking for women just because the emotional, it's just a lot, I feel. I'm quite headstrong and stubborn, and whether it's internalized misogyny or what, I just sit more comfortably. Like if a man bosses me around a bit, it's like, babe, can you go? I don't know why. I just think, okay, then, whereas if a girl and she's another female, I feel like with my ex, who was just competing on every level. I felt like a real power struggle, and that's probably a me issue.

1:11:00But it's couples. You know, I think there's a phrase called an egalitarian relationship. Have you heard about this? No. Where you have essentially both partners feel like they have strong roles in the relationship. And they could be different roles, but they're equal. the roles are equal. Whereas if you go back, you know, 50 years, actually not even 50 years, 20 years, right? You saw that there was a major imbalance in the power in a relationship. So the fact that you feel that push, that's part, that's a standard part. There's a power struggle that always happens in a relationship, you know? So that's fair.

1:11:42You identify now as pansexual as well as bisexual would you i just guess power and like sexual like it wouldn't matter to me if someone was like trans whatever they identify as if i have a connection with someone that'll be it i just think the way it went with dating women it seemed very clicky in london everyone's like knows each other's exes but like i said if i was out and i met a lady and she was like really sweet and we're just vibed I'm not gonna say oh no sorry strictly men now because I've got a 10 year like it is what it is and when I was with my ex-girlfriend obviously them conversations came up if we did want kids how would we do it and obviously there's a million ways you can have kids now so I won't rule it out but I just think I don't know I look up to my parents and they're like heteronormative relationship and my grandparents and just seeing oh it's just like beautiful i just want to be for ages i was like i'm never going to be a stay-at-home wife but like there's part of me i just want to do that now really yeah which is weird you want to have children yeah you want to be married really which i never thought for ages i'm like i'm so feminist and never want this so then here's the question and i may have i may have an issue with what you say we're gonna find out is so what is what are you looking for what's your criteria for a partner for a partner some have their own goals aspirations be driven okay because i feel like it's unhealthy if they don't have much going on that's when it's gone to disaster zone for me okay people get insecure very quick so i'm like someone with their own thing kind funny and I think patient when I'm concerned.

1:13:32All right. I love all of that. But, Maggie, what do you have on your Hinge profile? What, have you found it? No, you haven't. No. What is on your Hinge profile? Am I on my own? Because you have a little checklist on your Hinge profile. Do you care to tell me? Or I can remind you. No, wait. Let me tell you what I think it says. don't speak about sex on the first day okay don't speak about materialistic things on the first day yes don't have bad mental health yes mine's fucking mental what else and one other don't lie to me about you were

1:14:20so now i have an issue with these things why this this is this is the issue is what I found that. All right. So, you know, I'm very Jamaican. I have 12 jobs. And one of them is I do head up global research at Tinder. And I see an amazing number of profiles. And one thing that I know for sure is that anytime you see a list of don't, don't, don't, it truly, you know what it really means? It means that each one of these is an insecurity. Of me? yes for example i'll go down the list don't chat to me if you have bad mental health mine is yeah off the recta but you know what everyone but but everyone's mental health is up and down it's kind of like a battery right so your mental health is up and down but what you're saying is is you what you're saying is is that i actually am projecting i think that my mental health is bad yeah but that's why i need a stable pass let's put that simmer down a bit But you see how that's not helpful for you.

1:15:24Next is don't chat to me about materialistic things on the first date. Okay. So what does that mean? What do you think that signals? I was trying to project if you're like a dodgy guy or a drug did or you think you just throw money at the issue. I don't want that. I want a real businessman with legit money. That's what I was trying to say. But what does it give? All right. But here's what's received. What's received is now I just know what lines to run to you when we do have our first date. Wait, yeah. So they're just going to filter all that stuff. Pretend they're into, oh, my God, I went on a date.

1:16:02He asked me about, do you want to hike a mountain? That's why. I got a Rolex on. He's not climbing a ride for shit. No, no, not at all. I need you. Not at all. And then last but not least, and don't lie to me about your height. What does that mean? It means that you are fixated on height. And even in this conversation, you dropped it. Oh, he was tall, though. He was tall. He was tall. I was like, she is serious about height. Yeah, I just want to feel like a tiny little pony pocket. Okay. My recommendation, though, is just to remove these things. you know talk about what it is that you want in terms of you said you want a businessman you want someone who's who's ambitious yes you know do you want someone who actually is going to hike you know etc right talk about what it is but then also talk about all the things that you love about yourself you know that are quirky the fact that you are nerdy yeah you know do you know what it is my ego do you find that a lot of people are dating their ego gets in the way because i just feel like the fact i'm on there i just feel a bit embarrassed first i don't know why and then i think okay let me be sassy about it's like oh okay i don't need no bullshit time waste let me just put this list in and if you don't fit this list then fuck you but really i hear what you're saying so the point there is that be as authentically you yeah this is this is very very important um all Right.

1:17:33Now, I think this is going to be helpful for many, many people. So you've had some bad experiences with men. Yeah. Okay. So tell us what happened in these experiences. Can I just firstly say, like, I've not spoke about this before, because I don't know what's happened since the 10th day. I just feel like I've just let my ego go. and I think for a long time after coming out and seeing all them terrible headlines about me I felt like I had to be like a robot and be like no that's my story I'm sticking to it I chose sex work and that's what I'm gonna do and like nothing's affected me I'm just an average normal girl nothing bad happens to me I kind of felt like people were gonna have the mindset of like what do you expect because no one's gonna respect you anyway because you're a sex worker To be honest, it's seeing your interview with Maura and Lauren and they were just being so raw.

1:18:31And it's the bravest thing you can do. Yes, it is. And you know what happens too as a result of you being brave? It inspires others to be brave. Well, you've like first hand done it like with Maura and Lauren. Like the way you made them feel comfortable to share. I thought, no Meg, it's actually the opposite. it i thought i was being brave and tough by bottling it in and like powering on through and being like yeah i'm a sex worker what i didn't want to do was like add to that narrative of all sex workers are chaotic had a troubled like upbringing had like drug addicts and been beaten and done all this and i just thought i just don't want to add to that but do you know what fuck what them people think because it's the people i'm going to help and the women who have dabbled in OnlyFans or whether their friends have told them like four or five times, leave that man.

1:19:21You can see he's got bad like tendencies or anger issues or controlling behaviors and they've told you to leave and you haven't. It still doesn't justify what happens to you. Exactly. So I think that's, yeah, important. Well, if you can, let's walk through it. Okay. And we'll break it down. We'll only talk about as much as you want to talk about. The first one, for like different health reasons, I couldn't be on contraceptive because my hormones must have been crazy It just was no point being on it because of the side effects So we'd always use protection and he was like, obviously like put it on And at the end he was like, oh babe, it ripped And I was like, I feel like he definitely took it off during, like I can't be sure But anyway, either way, when he said he put it on, it was off at the end.

1:20:12And I was like, what am I going to do? We left it and he was like, no, I think it'd be fine. Because he was older, I just trusted his word. I didn't really know much back then. He was like, no, it's only certain days a month you can get pregnant. So I just was like, OK, OK, it's fine. Started feeling violently ill, I was pregnant. And I was working in the city, but it was like shit money. My life hadn't even begun. And it wasn't a question of even keeping it with him. so we booked the termination on the day of the termination he was like my car's broken down I was like okay well we still need to go what am I gonna do should I get my mum to take me no no no I'll take you I'll take you my mum's gonna take us I was like all right so I went into the clinic done everything took the first tablet we had to drive back the next day for the second one on the way home the mum's driving this van I'm in the middle and he's on the side and out of nowhere he literally just switched and was like i can't believe it yeah she just done that you're disgusting you just killed our baby you actually killed it and i was like what and the mum's looking at me i'm looking at her and it's like nah you make me sick and then he got the seatbelt like wrapped it around my neck bit my nose and was like so i just this was a post-nose job i think you're pretty with that new nose bit off so i'd fool me go and cry you bitch what have you just done go and tell the camera what you've just done and I was like oh my god I was in so much shock I couldn't even have tears I couldn't breathe the mum was just carrying on driving like this was normal I thought please can you just pull over then in the end he's like pull over and he starts going off at her like oh if I'm gonna kill her about me he's like I might as well kill you as well because you've been a shit mum I'll give you 10 seconds to run but we're running on motorway, cars are speeding past at like 70.

1:22:01I thought like, even if I try and ride, I'm just going to anger him more because he's definitely going to catch me. So I just stood there and didn't run. And then I don't know. I'm sorry, he said, I'm going to give you 10 seconds to run. But I just thought he's definitely going to catch me. So I just stood there frozen and it was a big white van. He goes, I'll kill you now and just put you in the back of the van to me and the mum. And she was like, oh no, don't, don't. Not like, if I was a mum and that was my son, I'd like slap him, be like, girl, run. But she was backing him and saying, yeah, you shouldn't have done that.

1:22:34What? I wasn't consenting to fall pregnant in the first place. You've trapped me. Like, the whole situation was just crazy. And I had to beg this man and put on my best act and be like, look, I love you. It's fine. Come down. I'm so sorry I've done this. We can fix it. We can try again next month. Just please let me go in. I feel really ill. Dropped me off at my parents. I was living at home. and just drop me off and we'll figure it out I'll call you I don't know how I convinced him I was like crying whatever like I just told him I loved him and I see him in a second running I was shaking I was like to my mum and dad I was like lock the door lock the door and I was like what on earth happened I said just don't speak I just had to like cry told them my dad thinking he's a dad he's like no it's fine tell him to come around here and get his stuff I never want to see him again I can't believe it and I was like dad you don't understand the man was psychotic and he wasn't he wasn't like a super big muscly man he was only like a bit taller than me but like the greatest like he went like black behind the eyes like he was just literally like possessed then he comes back around with a crowbar and gonna smash my parents car up and they've got no money I just felt so bad i was like this is all my fault my dad goes out he's screwing up to my dad my mom goes out he strangles her and i'm just like what the fuck do i do i was i was getting in their car i don't know where i thought i was driving to i was in the back of the car my mom and dad get in the car to drive away from this boy who's at our house we drive away and he throws the crowbar through the back of the thing thank god he didn't hit him in the back of the head but yeah that was That's the last I saw him.

1:24:16But what a nightmare. If we can go back through this. So first, what happened was he raped you. Do you think that counts as rape? That's rape. Did he have your consent? I obviously wanted to have sex, but I didn't want him to finish what I finished. that's rape Megan that is a if you heard the term stealthing stealthing it is when um someone will act as they will remove the the condom in the middle of penetrative sex which i assume he done which which which is what what it sounds like he did that is rape because there's no consent to it whatsoever it was just wild there is so much like shame around women having abortions and terminations yes yes so so even in that moment your family drives off what then happens do you report him yeah i'm on the phone to the police He's like shaking.

1:25:32Okay. Even though I just thought it's going to anger him more. Like there was an element of fear. How has he just literally got in my dad's face? I don't know. Old people just have fight or flight. But it was just a lot. Called the police. They came, took the crowbar as evidence. Obviously took pictures of like in the van on the whole way back. I don't really want to go into it too much. But it was just being nasty on the way home. So took pictures of like all my bruises and stuff. and then yeah later he denied it so it went from normal court to crown court and then i had to go but they have like a screen so i didn't have to see him and i was like giving evidence or whatever and then yeah he went he went to prison went to prison for that yeah for like uh i think it was like a month or just over a month i just want people to know i'm not saying this like what is me i'm a victim it was so long ago i've had copious amounts of therapy and like i'm really in a good place but I just want girls to know it doesn't matter what your profession is whether people deem you as a slut or you bought it on yourself or your friends have warned you for months so much leave that man it's no good for you it's showing weird tendencies no one can tell you it doesn't matter what circumstances have happened if anyone's done anything like that tell someone report x it's fucked you know you should be proud of how you handled that situation when i say how you handle that is that in the moment it was about survival you then reported it and i want to talk about reporting because this is this is these are stats that have blown my mind five in six women who are raped do not report it so sad 40 said it's due to embarrassment 38 said that they didn't think the police could help that's uk data so the fact that you reported it that's something that you should be proud of And then what do you do?

1:27:36You said copious amounts of therapy. Right. So you did everything that you were supposed to do. And what happened should never have happened to you. But I'm proud that you reported the situation. Right. And I'm curious because five out of six women who are raped do not report it. What gave you the confidence to report? I thought he would literally kill me. The way he was, he was acting was literally psychotic. And it's only that we drove away. For my dad, who's a grown man, and my mum, to leave their house, drive off from this man in a car, he was acting not normal. So unless he was arrested or sectioned, I thought I would be dead.

1:28:20I guess for other circumstances, when girls don't feel like their life's in danger, and they're sitting on it and thinking, should I, shouldn't I? You have to. because otherwise even if it's not for you and you think, do you know what, the police aren't going to listen to me or it's going to take so much time to do this, it's going to drag... For a lot of it, I don't like speaking because it drags up all that trauma, but they've got to think, like, you're helping other women. I read just on the way in the car today, three women a week kill themselves because of domestic abuse because they can't escape it.

1:28:52So the more we report, report, the more's going to be done. Things are going to be in place to stop it getting to that level where people think that they have no option than to take their own lives. Like, it's heartbreaking. In that relationship, were there any signs prior to that incident?

1:29:14Not really. Like, short temper, but not the... I think he really thought he was smart. His friends around him were having babies, and I think he thought he could trap me that way. He would, like, lay there, knew the termination was booked in, rub my belly and try and make i think he really thought i could he could guilt trip me out of it okay so i think that was where he just flew off the handle there was nothing significant before to show to show the signs but yeah okay okay when you think about uh other relationships with men not naming names but other relationships with men were there any other challenging moments for you yeah which is sad because i i feel like i'm quite people see me and i think myself i'm quite like a feminist i'm a strong woman that doesn't take shit and i would say i've had six serious relationships second one has also been ended not so crazy but also domestic violence with this man i was very open it wasn't a serious deep relationship but i said like I fancy you like we have a love I want the best for your series more of a friend I'm not in love with you but that's up to him then to walk away from that situation be like okay well I've got deeper feelings so I can't handle you just liking me a little bit I'm gonna walk he didn't he stayed and it got heated one night when he was drinking and god knows what else he literally it's like a film he put a knife to my throat and asked me to type in my bank details no put his bank details sorry into my online banking and transfer him 10 grand a month because he was taxing me for not loving him and my hands were shaking and I was like okay okay like smashing my whole house up said yeah no you don't love me you fucking bitch they obviously had money issues but me obviously seeing like other men with bad mental health they were although I was shaky and petrified for my life I still thought this poor lost man he's obviously got money issues or something so I was like yeah yeah let me do it I don't know how that diffused I think I set it up and then that ticks my mum the next day to stop it but the next day we had suitcases packed supposed to go to New York and again I don't know why I put this pressure on myself but I thought I don't want to let my mum down I just wanted to think I'm happy in this nice relationship and like and I want to prove everyone wrong because again the narrative of sex worker chaos and all this like no no no I can hold this down we'll be normal went to New York give it two days I don't know what sort of either I feel like it must have been drugs you can't act like that just off drink but um shouting at me in the street squared up to the taxi uber driver dropping us home so in reception i was like no i'm not going back to the room with you i'm not i'm not the receptionist was like ma 'am do you want your right room and i was like yeah he goes if you go to your own room i'm gonna kill you so i was like okay so i went back and i thought that would simmer him down like that would calm him down if i go back to the room i can like talk him down and it be fine went back to the room worst mistake of my life he like slapped me I fell on the bed and then he was just pacing the room for what felt like four hours telling me what a piece of shit I am that I'm an escort slut that no one's going to respect me ever um and I was just thinking do I run you know have you seen that Cassie and P Diddy thing at the lift this kept going through my mind I was like I was like half dressed I was like do I run and press the button and pray that it comes in time or do I just stay in the room but very much in New York in some height he could if I try and run he don't like it he could I thought oh my god he's gonna like chuck me off the balcony so I was like do I run for the I just stayed there and endured the fucking verbal beat and he didn't touch me again but I can't comprehend the fear and the trauma like it was just it's gone off for ages and i'm just trying to say like i'm sorry i'm sorry i love you like please just stop and he was just like pacing and telling me what a disgusting person i was and imagine just thinking like i don't deserve i don't know why the reception didn't just check us alive to be honest because that was hell you know because you you use the the the diddy uh cassie example that I have that visualization.

1:33:53And I'm sure that was what she was contemplating. Do I stay or do I run? When I saw that, I just burst out crying because I just know her heart. I know how she must have felt when they come into it. Yeah. So you stayed? Yeah, I just had to pretend. And then the worst thing was I had a whole extra, after that day, a whole extra day to just pretend that I'd forgotten it. It was fine. And honestly, I got off that plane, got in a cab with my case and in my own house because he just put all his stuff in my house. I opened that front door. I got my car, drove off, just left in my house. I didn't care about nothing.

1:34:31I just went. What an animal of a man. I just, it's the most cowardly thing. It's my road. You know, I've never heard a story like that. I'm sorry to get deep, but I just want girls to know, like, it doesn't matter if you're the local area slut, you're in a sex worker your friends told you to leave him you shouldn't feel shame i don't know why i've held it in for so long like it's fucked you you've gone through hell literally you go through but you're here yeah and it's me i think it's made me like it's weird it's made me like softer and more compassionate i think before when i was young and making money the strip club and cocky i thought i knew the answers to everything and it's it's horrible but i just think it's made me want to be a better person to help other women when i have sons i'm never going to let them treat women like that right right i know you're going to be an amazing parent i hope so oh yeah you you are you are i mean i have no doubt about that i have no doubt about that you're gonna be an amazing barrett thank you for sharing that that's okay it will help many i hope so and i've recently i just wanted to mention started working with a charity called numb and that's specifically for sex workers that suffer with like any kind of like domestic violence violence in the workplace and i just think all women suffer from violence i'm sure in some aspect to another or if they do they should reach out but especially sex workers I think there's an extra layer of shame around it because of your professional how society sees you and I just want girls to know that that's there you went through the storm but as a result of you going through the storm hopefully others will not have to go through that same storm so hopefully these stories have saved lives definitely yeah I just feel like the more people talk about there is no shame I don't know why the the girl feels shame in this situation.

1:36:37She doesn't. Yeah. Megan's story shows that your past doesn't define you. How you rise from it does. She's turned her pain into purpose, using her voice to empower others and advocate for change. The lesson, never let shame silence you. By owning your truth, you not only heal yourself, but you inspire others to seek freedom and hope. As Megan proves, the storms we survive can shape us into stronger, more compassionate people ready to lift others up. So then let's explore that for a second. But in that moment, did you feel shame in terms of not wanting to talk about it? And the reason was because you thought it would come back and you would look like...

1:37:25chaotic I put it on myself your life choices what do you expect when you get your tits out no one's going to respect you are they that kind of mentality and then just that after that incident happened obviously I ran away from my own house um and he left um I went sober for three months again I guess blaming myself oh well if I didn't have a few drinks I would have been more assertive in that reception to be like no like and get my own room but I think a lot of girls or just victims inject it doesn't have to just be women men also the victim blames themselves like what could I have done different exactly you know in uh in trauma recovery one of the first stages is a stage called bargaining bargaining is where you begin to look at the scenario and think where are all the things I could have done differently so that that scenario didn't happen but it's not your fault is it it's not you could have i could have said anything i could have bent over backwards bought him a fucking rolex he still would have had that nasty energy towards me if i put one foot out of line really right right i'm so sorry that happened to you no it's right do i have black or no no you're you're very good at coming back on it you you know exactly where it is you're very good i thought i was gonna give like uh kiss like tribute act there like aussie That's boom bars.

1:38:47Yeah, yeah, but it's all come back. It's all come back. Yeah, you look great. You look great. Thank you. I'm sorry to be so heavy, but I just think I've held in and tried to be this person. It's like, no, it doesn't affect me being a sex worker. No, it doesn't affect me that this has happened to me, but it does. I'm human, and I think by being a more softer, vulnerable version of myself, it can only do good for me to, like, get it out of my system. and for other women to think, Cora, like, she can still be a boss business woman. She can still be, like, a sexy OnlyFans worker, but she can also be a victim of domestic violence that she's speaking out for and trying to help.

1:39:25It doesn't have to be that one-dimensional. You don't. You don't. And this is interesting, going back to almost where we started the conversation, is I was saying, I knew you were, like, I knew there was this much depth, you know, to your story. And I'm so honoured, actually to be able to to learn it you know to hear it and and there's a whole nother area that we haven't talked about that is one of the most fascinating areas to me and that is is megan barton hansen the businesswoman you know what i mean yeah no no you you you were doing it you were doing it can we talk about your business yeah can we yeah i mean let's let's let's do this Yeah, this like upbeatness.

1:40:07Yeah. All right. We have to start with OnlyFans. You know what I think the public impression is? OnlyFans queen. Like big money OnlyFans. And you always hear, and I've seen a million of your interviews, and every interviewer is like, how much money do you really make on OnlyFans? Because their stats, and you've seen the stats, There's certain stats that say at certain points you were the ninth highest income earner on OnlyFans. There's some stats that say you made$800 ,000 a month on OnlyFans. There's some stats that say you made£4 million per month on OnlyFans. I wish. I've been my private island, Dad.

1:40:50You'd have to Zoom me for this interview if that was the case. I'm like, I know she made£4 million because she'll come in in a helicopter. Right? So it's a wide range. And you don't have to give us specific specifics, but I would imagine you've made over a million pounds in OnlyFans. Yeah, way over a million pounds. Way over a million. Correct me. Just to let all you hating bitches know. Way over a million pounds. No, but I've been on this since like 20, 20, 20, 20, 20. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've been doing your thing. Right. So, but let's talk about it. It's become an incredible platform for so many creators to monetize.

1:41:39So how do you, like, if you're going to give the lesson on OnlyFans, how do you monetize it? How have you built such a profitable brand on OnlyFans? So it really is like a business. I've seen a lot of people say, oh, you just have to take a few, like, selfies and upload it. What an easy job. you have to run it like a business if you want to make that sort of money okay so i will schedule my content i'll have shoot days with amazing photographers video ideas that are kind of like so my limit is topless that's it like you don't see anything else so it's very tricky to kind of be creative with the same pair of tits that they've seen a million times so like what are we but i enjoy it like i will get people that are sick of editing videos like stylists will get all different props whether it's cooking or on my peloton bike or oiled up in the gym like we just do all different things and it's so fun to like schedule that content and then see that out throughout the month and like more more of it it's just more than pictures it's like i'll have women who are just newly divorced come and sign up as a way to contact me and be like i've never experimented with a woman how do we meet women or even guys who are like dating women they've got a girlfriend and they're like babe would this put you off if i was like if you're seeing a guy and he said he wanted to do bits with a man i'd be like absolutely not it's like an agony on come sexy page three but hotter than page three obviously it's video content i don't know it's hot but it is it's a lot of work of scheduling and the chatting the main thing i think that separates it from just signing on to porn hub or wherever like people would watch porn is the connection and i did watch your interview with that other lady who was like men that use um only fans are such losers this is sadia khan yes yes i was like i watched it and i thought this is really gonna wind me up but i must admit everything else she said in the interview i agreed with and i understood her point to extent like but when she's saying every man that signs up is a loser and he's paying for 10 minutes of pleasure and then he's gonna think oh sorry what i feel like these men are having actual intimate connections with someone so a friend to chat to someone that they can vent i think we touched on it earlier yes with like the online dating it's a space for men that They might not want to introduce this into their bedroom with their girlfriend or their new partner, but they might have a new kink they want to try.

1:44:20They're anonymous. They can say to me, oh, babe, can I see pictures of your feet? Or whatever it is, try out a new fetish or kink with no judgment. Pure anonymity. I'm not going to know who they are. In a safe way with a consenting adult rather than going down some rabbit hole and feeling ashamed. Yeah. It's also interesting, too, is because it sounds like a lot of this is what you were doing at the strip club, right? Having these conversations. You're counseling. Kind of. Yeah, you're a relationship counselor. Being a slightly hot friend for these guys. You're just a topless relationship counselor.

1:45:00They're doing the big tears. Tell mommy all about it. Oh, my gosh. So with it, though, why do you think you've been so successful? Because doing some research on OnlyFans in particular, I saw that there are – so there's over 5 million creators, right, content creators on OnlyFans. But there are maybe 300 or more who earn more than a million dollars per year. so you have millions of content creators but only hundreds who are earning high high income so why is it that you believe you are earning high high income obviously the platform of love island has given me a bigger audience whereas the average girl would have to create a lot of noise to be seen because there is so many creators i think that i think the the content i put out it is i find it very like sexy but it's not explicit and i think that's where people go wrong they're like what they're starting to see the money grow each month and thinking right i've got to push the boundary push the boundary whereas i just like i think you can still be incredibly sexy and hot without like showing everything because i think then you've capped it once you've seen everything whereas my followers they're following me they're like this month maybe she might push it a bit more or they're still holding on to that hope that they might see absolutely everything or it's just more of the connection in the dms i do spend a lot of time every day i'm on there for at least an hour replying to people especially if they're like big spenders and stuff and i think that's the thing where people miss it they just do all this content but you could just type in on a website any kind of website porn hub whatever and see a girl dressed like that especially in my case when you're not doing explicit you can look on instagram and see that for free so the real thing is the connection and there is i feel like especially this generation there's so many young lonely people that aren't in a relationship yes so i think that's a big reason is why i do so well I give I'm generally interested I'm lonely myself sometimes and I find it fun to chat to certain people if we've been like building a bond we've got similar taste in like music or this or that I'll chat to them about anything it helps me I get bored of an evening I've got no one to chat to so you'll chat with someone who's spending the money yeah the biggest spender how much is has your biggest spender spent with you they pay you like ridiculous amounts for like to me like mental things aren't even hot so i had one guy and i named him bug guy he basically wants to be as small as a bug and i just have to put my phone on the floor i'll walk up in like normally that pvc latex and we'll just walk up to the phone pretend he's the phone and like stamp on him with my heels and my feet and he wants to feel tiny he's paid about 10 grand for that i mean he must have a good job but i'm he can be above all he likes for that kind of money

1:48:14he was squashed the hell out of him take that oh my god all right so so that was one shot what about i'm curious what about over a year one one person damn i shouldn't have looked at these before i come in what would like what would you just average it out you're thinking about the the biggest spender the big i know there's one guy in ireland and he spends a lot he's he's probably spent about 30 grand in literally two months but this is custom so it won't be like my generic stuff that's on the wall for everyone to see or then i'll send separate content to everybody in their dms but they have to unlock it for like 30 40 dollars this is separate so he will say look i want this long like pink lingerie twerking a little bit doing this seeing the bottoms of your feet like just little weird things i don't mean anything too explicit but he'll say all what he wants say his name and then i'll just record that just for him say his name in it and that's like 10 grand for five minutes so 30 000 pounds over two months for for those and he does like two like two grand customs, three grand customs at a time.

1:49:27That is incredible. So the question that I need to ask, right, is do you consider that what you're doing in that moment? So you said dressing how he wants to be dressed, maybe topless, right? Is that pornography or no? In my book, really, if I wasn't in the public car, I would say no. I would say that's just like set on the same level as like glanulodling. It's just topless. Whether you're like a still picture of it or whether you're walking around a bit, jiggling around, it's still just boobs. You see more at a beach in Spain or in Europe. That's true. I've seen more at a beach in Spain. You're right.

1:50:15Oh, my gosh. All right. So you don't consider that then pornography? Okay. So then you know what I'm going to ask you. then what is pornography? I would say what I was doing prior to Love Island, the webcam, that was porn. Okay. I guess. Because, oh, that was just me. I didn't do anything with anyone else. It was just me. But I was still doing explicit stuff. Okay. All right. I see. I see the difference. All right. That's fair. All right. So then how long do you plan to reign as OnlyFans queen? I always said, I went, I said at 30, I was going to stop, which obviously I'm 30 now but in my head I don't feel like 30 I don't I don't know what I thought was gonna happen at 30 I just start sprouting like gray hair like get my zimmer frame out or something so I think when I stop enjoying it and it seems like a task but like right now I love it like next week I've just booked out the penthouse in the standard hotel it looks amazing have you been to the standard I've been to the standard not to the penthouse I'm excited so I'm gonna shooting there i've got like people from ronchester coming down to shoot with me collabing with other girls it's it's just a nice like thing to do but i think when i get sick of that i'm like oh not again or i meet someone and like we want to go traveling then i'll like put it on hold okay okay you know would you ever date one of your you call them subscribers the subscribers would you ever date one of your subscribers yeah do you know i want to tell you after who i had as a subscribe it would blow a mind well maybe not actually but like a musician who's like super famous for subscribe really you're not going to tell us you're going to tell us oh yeah i guess i guess they would want to be private so this interesting so that makes sense you would have celebrities i guess for him yeah i saw it as like when he's touring or whatever he probably thinks oh if i can't actually be asked to entertain a woman in person he still wants to have that connection it must be lonely on tour yeah i guess yeah that's interesting so you would date him no but like regular guys i think and there's no i do lives like maybe once a month where it's just me you know like a instagram live okay and they can all type but i'm just speaking and i really get on with some of them like well yeah i don't know we're just like bond over like i'm like okay what should i play next when i dance for you and i don't know you just have a laugh it's just fun Yeah, yeah.

1:52:46It seems like OnlyFans has been liberating for you. It's a nice, out of all social media, it's a lovely platform. Because you've got to think about it. There's no trouble in it and there's no negativity. They won't be subscribing if they hate me. It's just an ego boost. It's a good point. It's a good point. So would you say that you prefer OnlyFans as a platform to all other social media platforms? Yeah, that's where I spend most of my time. I do need to step it up on Instagram, though. I thought I'm slacking there a bit. Okay. All right, fair, fair. I want to be like the Essex version of Gwyneth Paltrow, you know?

1:53:18Yeah, yeah. I can see that. I can see that. I can see that. So then where you are right now in your life today, are you happy? I won't lie. This year has probably been the most transformative, eye-opening. I don't know if it is because in my head, I was like at 30, I thought I would have had a husband, had a baby or a couple babies. come off of OnlyFans, been out of the limelight and I hadn't reached it. I'd done a lot of self work. I got a coach this year and she's like an authenticity coach because I felt for a while that I'd lost myself. I was like, I've been chasing money from 19. I'm now 30.

1:54:03Who is Megan? What are hobbies? What does she enjoy doing? So I've really done a lot of like inner child work, looking at things that make me happy. So after this year, this year has been painful i won't lie it's been hard not as hard as the one where we worked together in all the mess yeah 2019 was a year yeah it's still a close second but when i'm sat here now i think i've come through like i've done i put the groundwork in and i'm genuinely happy now i've got so much to look forward to i'm so grateful for my family and everything i've achieved so i'm really happy last question i hate it to be the last question because i enjoyed this so much my last question is you've had many conversations throughout your life if you think back to the most memorable conversation what did you talk about and who was it with

1:55:01oh i don't want to cry again but this is like straight like it wasn't even a deep conversation but my my nan is on like end of life care right now and I saw her on Monday and she just held my hand and was like just be happy and I'm so like it's mental but like I think we're all just like looking and waiting to be the perfect weight the perfect job the perfect this and it's like freely that woman is so they're just built different from her generation like she is a legend like the amount of grandkids and her kids and she's just gone through so much shit and she's still there and she's still she's i never heard that woman complain once and i think now in our generation we won't get a few likes in our picture we're like i think it's the end of the world like i think we just need to put things into perspective and just live for you fuck what everyone else says yeah you know so i i asked this question to all the guess yeah and what i've noticed is that most of the conversations are short and simple like your nan saying just be happy you know few words few few words less is more and i think it's so poetic that you use that as the most memorable conversation because when i think through your life is your life is a story of your search for happiness don't you think that's what everyone's life is really we're just looking to be happy aren't we yes yeah we're we're we're we're seeking it right um but but but my hope for you is that well one is i know that you found it my hope is that you keep it yeah and i believe that you will because you've learned so much so many lessons.

1:56:58Like you've lived 10 lives already. You've lived 10 lives. But I think that you've now matured to a place where you can pull those lessons and you can use those to not only sustain that happiness, but to teach others. For sure. And do you know that the most freeing thing, I just think I've let go of the shame. This is me. If you don't like it, then I'm not trying to be a people pleaser. I'm not trying to hide any of my truths like don't like it take it or leave it kind of vibe which is so freeing yes well i'll say this last thing is uh i've always been a megan barton hanson fan i've always since the moment we met i was like i like her you know but today i adore you even more oh that means so much because i really respect you you're so intelligent you're so smart even watching maths and stuff you teach me so much thank you well thank you thank you that was excellent thank you i don't know why i'm teary again it's so nice you know why because because you're being you you know because you never you never see this i i've never seen you teary before i know it's weird isn't it something's changed this year age probably i'm like i don't know i just felt like i had to be so hard for so long and prove if I'm wrong.

1:58:14And I'm just like, fuck it. This is me, bitches. Now that was an incredible episode. And I'm truly grateful for Megan sharing these personal stories with us. And I hope they inspire more of us to come forward with stories such as hers. Now, the first takeaway I want to look at is how Megan's Nan in her final days gave her a powerful piece of advice. She said, just be happy. It's a reminder that we often get caught up chasing the perfect weight or the perfect job or the perfect life. But happiness isn't something we achieve. It's something we choose. Let Megan's and Anne's wisdom guide us. Stop waiting for perfection and start embracing the happiness that's already within reach.

1:58:58The next takeaway is Megan was reluctant to speak about her experience with domestic violence. And I'm so proud that she felt safe enough to do this now with us. Now, it's not easy, but her bravery will inspire and protect so many others. If you're in a similar situation, remember, you don't have to face it alone. Start by confiding in someone that you trust. Create a safety plan and reach out to a domestic violence hotline or support service. Your voice truly matters, and speaking out can be the first step to freedom for yourself and for others who need to know they're not alone. The next takeaway, this is very important, is that loneliness is a silent struggle that too many of all of us face, but also men face this.

1:59:46And as Megan shared, it often leads people to seek connection in unexpected places just to feel heard. But opening up doesn't have to wait for therapy. If you're a woman with a man in your life, it could be a brother, a friend, or a partner, you can make a difference by creating a safe space for them to talk. Ask them open-ended questions and listen without judgment and encourage them to connect with others or join support groups. If they're not ready for therapy, remind them that helplines and online forums can offer free confidential support. Together, we can help men feel less alone and build stronger connections.

2:00:23The next takeaway is truly heartbreaking, but it's a true fact. And that is that three women a week in the UK die by suicide as a result of domestic abuse. It's a silent crisis that highlights the devastating impact abuse has on mental health. By speaking out and reporting abuse, you not only protect yourself, but create a ripple effect that can save others. Your voice can be the first step to breaking the cycle and driving the systemic change we so desperately need. And the last takeaway is Megan's experience growing up in South End-on-Sea reflects a dynamic many of us recognize in the communities we grew up in.

2:01:05A strong sense of togetherness where people look out for each other, but also a small-town mentality that could judge and resist individuality. So what's the lesson? Community is invaluable, but we must also create a space for people to step outside of the norm and grow. Social media, despite its flaws, offers a chance to connect with broader, more diverse voices and break free from those restrictions. Embrace your roots, but also don't let them define your limits. Thanks so much for watching. And just remember, around 9 in 10 of you watching these videos aren't subscribed yet. Now, no pressure at all.

2:01:43But if you're enjoying the content, subscribing is a super simple way to stay connected with us. And it also helps a ton when growing the channel. We also look at every comment, so make sure you comment with your guest ideas below, and we'll get your favorite guest on our future episodes. I appreciate you being here, and we look forward to seeing you on the next episode. I need to come clean and tell you about the love affair I've been having these last two years. But before you start thinking that I'm disloyal, don't worry. My wife knows everything. because even Jill can't ignore how truly, madly, deeply in love I am with the new show sponsor, Huel.

2:02:23Hand on my heart, I carry up to three Huel's with me every day. Some might even call me a hardcore Huel drinker. And they'd be right, I am. My days start early, so drinking my ready-to-drink black edition vanilla is such a convenient way for me to fuel my body with great nutrition. But the part I love most is Huel is a complete meal packed with 35 grams of protein plus 26 vitamins and minerals to help me thrive. So whether I'm traveling, on set, or recording, I know Huel will keep me feeling good. If you're tempted to have a love affair of your own, visit Huel.com and use code Paul for 15 % off your next order.

2:03:04That's H-U-E-L dot com.

2:03:11Thank you.