Sam Vanderpump Opens Up About the Health Scare That Changed His Life

35:53I mean that's an interesting question because when I first I've not really experienced that too much I've only been on you know reality tv for a couple years and when I first joined it I wasn't in a relationship I was just having fun and the relationship I'm in now hasn't been affected by because what we alice and i who we got together and we are so so strong and we got together before the show started filming and by the time we were filming we were incredibly strong so it was it just it never affected us and we were so strong as a unit we never let the tv show get in the middle of us okay and to the point where we just went from strength to strength to strength you know got engaged we're having a baby there's nothing that could get in in between that yes yeah all right so you just mentioned alice who is your fiance yeah okay which one congratulations thank you on this she is pregnant yeah congratulations uh on this you mentioned something that is near and dear to my heart and i have lived experience with and that is is so you have a relationship you're on TV.

37:09When I started way back in the day, I started when you were a baby, 2012 in the United States. I wasn't that young. I was 15. See, look at that. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. Well, I was only 16. Yeah. No, but...

37:27But I distinctly remember my wife and I, we were offered a television show to basically chronicle our life. and my wife said no let's not do this a she said you know we're too boring but but b can't believe that oh my goodness but b she said this could destroy our relationship because because of the pressure that's applied yeah so truly how does this industry impact your relationship with Alice? I mean, I would disagree with your wife's opinion because from my experience, I believe if you're strong, it would only destroy you if you were weak to start. So I believe reality TV only enhances the actual situation.

38:22So for us, it makes us look strong as, because we are strong. so it makes us look even stronger than what we are. And people blame, oh, it was, you know, the TV, it was this, it ruined my relationship. No, no, no, no. Your relationship was weak and the show enhanced that, exaggerated that, put a magnifying glass on that weak relationship and showed the cracks and that's when it collapsed. All right, interesting. So you're almost arguing that it has made your, reality TV has made your relationship stronger with Alice. I think so too. Yeah, yeah, 100%. So on that note, I have another surprise for you.

38:59You ready for this? I don't know. I'm doing this quietly because you're actually next door right now, and I don't want you to hear what I'm saying. But Sam, I don't think there's really words that could articulate fully what you mean to me. To me, you are home. You're safety. You're strength. You are literally the light in any room that you walk into. You always support me. you always give me the best advice with no hesitation you always know exactly what I'm thinking and feeling without me even having to say you always put other people above yourself even when other people couldn't even imagine being in a situation like you're in right now you're the epitome of positivity you really really are you make all of us so so proud and you inspire everyone whose life you're in I remember meeting you and seeing you with babies and other children and just knowing straight away that you would be the best dad ever, seeing your magnetism and the connection that you have with children and your beliefs and who you truly are, it's been amazing to see.

40:07And honestly, I just can't wait to see it all unfold with Iron Child now. We all love you so much. Oh, God, that's going to make me tear up.

40:23That's emotional. That's very sweet. I knew she was filming something the other day. You knew it. She was like, don't ruin it. I was like, ruin what? I think, yeah, that movie, yeah. What does Alice's love to you mean?

40:47I've never had a relationship where... I look at the person like I look at Alice. There's infatuation and love and, you know, all of that. But I've never had something where I look beyond that and I look at her and I go, I love your personality to a T. And I find that really, really interesting. I've never had that before. and that's when I realized I mean I knew this from the beginning and that's why I knew I was going to marry her yeah it was it was it was so much deeper than the want to rip your clothes off which is always there yes yes would you say that she's the first person romantically that you felt safe with yeah yeah i don't i don't yeah 100 i don't have any anxiety i don't have any i trust her implicitly i feel secure yeah one billion percent yeah i've never had it before and there's i don't think i'll have that with any other person All right, all right.

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44:54There's a few things in my head that scream out of what I want to show to my child, and that is, you know, family is everything. Love is everything. You know, happiness and being happy is everything. You know, for many years, I didn't realize that. And I think it's about teaching my child about my mistakes so he doesn't have to bear those same mistakes. You know, chasing the silly things. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Being comfortable as you are. doing things you want to do. Yeah. I love it. I love it. I love it. So now you are in this arguably incredible inflection point in life, right? You can look at it from this side and say, wow, my gosh, he's engaged to this incredible woman who loves him and he loves her.

45:56They have a baby on the way, right? life is great but you could also argue your life is not so high. Life is pretty shit at times isn't it? Yes. You know it's funny you say that everything was perfect and then bam smash your hip via a freight train you know? Yes. Then it blows up in your face. Life was on that perfect route and you know life is always going to throw you lemons and you've got to make lemonade. It's never going to be. Everything is relative. Everyone out there has got to get over their hurdles. And, yeah. I mean, yes, there are elements of my life which are going perfectly, and then there's other elements which are shit.

46:47That's everyone. Let's talk about this health condition that you're facing, because when I, as a father, as a husband, when I think about what you are going through, I can't fathom it to the point where there was high interest for me to sit down with you because I truly want to understand how you are feeling in this moment with everything you're dealing with. So just to describe, what is it that you're dealing with? I'll take you from the beginning. I was diagnosed at the age of four with a liver disease, congenital hepatic fibrosis. My mom spotted it because when I was four years of age, I was a very poorly baby, actually.

47:44I was born eight weeks early. Okay. I had a collapsed lung. I was in an incubator. I died twice in the incubator I think yeah I had a collapsed lung they put a tube into me I mean I like flatlined I think twice once or twice you know I was very poorly and then a few weeks later sent out into the world healthy we thought I was healthy so they dealt with a very you know it must have been very hard for my mum my father my whole family my grandmother everyone but I was fine you know they dealt with it you know I was fine four years of age my mom looks at me in the swimming pool and she goes sam's figure doesn't look right and because i'm not i wasn't a you know a chubby baby or a chubby child i had very skinny arms but i had this extended belly but it wasn't it wasn't like there was there It was like I was pregnant.

48:46Okay. And my mum couldn't get over it in her head, so she took me to the hospital. And she says, I mean, obviously, I don't remember any of this. I was four. They ran frantically all over the place because they did some tests. And at first, they thought I had cystic fibrosis. Okay. Which is, I believe, fibrosis on the lungs. They did their series of testing. a biopsy skin. I've still got the scar here today. Huge scar. Must have been a big, big skin they took. A series of testing and they diagnosed me of liver congenital hepatic fibrosis. And they very much at that age said, okay, Sam's got this liver disease.

49:31From what we know now, his liver function is fine, but one day he may need a liver transplant. So we knew about this from the age of four okay um but then over the next year and they said you know sam's got to be careful um can't be punched in the liver and not that i would you know know everyone goes and gets punched in the liver but you've got to be careful i couldn't do rugby or stuff like that and i was seen every quite regularly in the hospital at the royal free great ormond street hospital but as i got older and my experience that i will tell you is i had this conversation with my mum recently is very different to her experience but I'll tell you my experience so as I've grown up I've known I've had this disease and I but I didn't pay it much attention because I was always told to live my life normally so from four to the age of 27 I would go every three months to hospital and that would be spaced out to every six months to every year every single appointment they would do blood urine your liver functions fantastic so age of four i might need a liver transplant at 16 we're now 27 absolutely fine we don't need to see you till next year well nothing's gonna happen at this rate you kind of start to think not you're invincible you don't and you know but you think it was it this wasn't going to ever affect me yes and then last year very weirdly never hit been hit by anything I was I thought I got the flu had a little bit of an asthma track I've always had asthma and I started to get really um couldn't get better I couldn't get better and I had this really bad back pain so I was seeing the GP went into A &E a few times I had my asthma under control from A &E admissions but I couldn't get rid of this back pain and I always felt like I had the flu and this persisted for another two weeks and we were getting close to Christmas we weren't doing any of the Christmas things that we wanted to do, Alice and I Why?

51:46Because you were just poorly? Not well, just poorly We loved to go to Winter Wonderland like maybe every other day. We went once. And I really wanted to do my Christmas shopping. So I really got myself out of bed because I was so excited to get my friends and my fiancé, now fiancé, at the time, she was only my girlfriend. I was excited to get everyone's presents. So I was like, we're going shopping. We're going to Harrods. Of course we're going to Harrods. Yeah. And I was extremely thirsty. I had a litre bottle of water and I drank the whole thing in an hour. I was so dehydrated. I thought I was so dehydrated.

52:27I went to Alice. I can't quench my thirst. After being there for an hour, I was sitting down. I was doing a friend's engagement present. I was sitting down. I was going, and I had more to do, more shopping. I went to Alice. I can't do this. I feel too ill. I feel like really fluid. I need to go home. For the next two days, I basically laid in bed. um alice thought i was taking too much codeine for the back pain i wasn't i was taking normal amounts um but that's the symptoms i was posing were that of delirium dehydration now she you look back on it i was a little bit jaundice yes i was a little bit crusty lips and you don't you don't put two and two together because you've never experienced anything like that so you couldn't you didn't recognize the signs that's why i'm such a massive advocate for the sepsis signs today okay we didn't recognize the signs we didn't know what those signs was what was happening we've got well on the monday i was meant to be flying to dubai for work and alice came back from her work and i was still in bed hadn't moved she went something's wrong she spoke to my mum they got me into a and e when i got into a and e they went yeah you're you're all you're not well are you so they they were like they couldn't understand at first i did my blood and the doctor came back and he went you're not you're not well are you sam and i went no i really don't feel well there's something wrong in my body he went yeah you're going into organ failure my crp was up in the 400s okay and uh crp is that what protein um almost tests i think uh inflammation yeah in your body yeah yeah and it it shows so normally your normal level should be below three milligrams okay you know zero to a hundred there's a mild infection 100 to 200 serious infection get to a &e mine was in the 400s wow like like basically borderline that the next the next step from that is basically you're dead right that infection rate is they were they the doctor was white in the face from seeing that infection rate how close do you believe you were to dying in that moment i mean so We don't think at that point we really knew.

54:39It wasn't until I came out of hospital a week or two weeks, three weeks later, where I spoke to one of the doctors who had seen me. And she went, look, we obviously weren't going to say it to you at the time. And I laughed from, I don't know, trauma properly. But we didn't know if you were going to make it. You know, you were touch and go. You know, you came to us and we were like, 50-50. yeah that that was a big shock to hear from when the doctors when we heard that that that major like major stomach sink absolutely and this was sepsis yeah so okay due to my condition so this is all later found with later testing and everything the journey for the last year was what happened is with my liver disease when your liver starts so i have fibrosis of my liver so basically imagine a liver a nice smooth organ mine's very bumpy and those bumps are the fibrosis and your biliary tree is where the bile passes through your liver okay and the bumps have started constricting that biliary tree stopping the bile from moving when the bile can't move it sits and bacteria can gather and start an infection so what had happened is obviously my disease has progressed over so many years but now to a point where that bacteria can build and i can get these infections and we didn't recognize i had an infection and because we didn't recognize that infection became septic okay now sepsis is any infection that gets out of control interesting okay any infection blood poisoning you know so there's there's common misconceptions but any infection in your body that gets out of control is sepsis.

56:27All right. And when it gets out of control, what is it? Is it that your body is basically attacking itself? Well, it starts, all the infection starts spreading into all the other parts of your body. You know, so... It runs rapid. What I didn't... It starts to shut down your organs. I was so ignorant to what sepsis was, and I think this is in part... We all are. Yeah. What's beautiful about what you're doing is you're helping to destroy ignorance, right? I started looking at sepsis with you coming in, and these are some stats that I didn't realize, and some of these are dark. So one is, in the UK, five people die every hour from sepsis.

57:13The Sepsis Trust estimates about 48 ,000 people die each year from sepsis-related illnesses. However, thousands are preventable. Yeah. I didn't know this. Just by recognizing the signs. So like like me. I mean, now I look back on it and I've had infection since and never got to that stage. Because you look back on it. If you've got a temperature, if you've got a fever, if you've got if you're dehydrated, if you've got extreme pains. These are like I mean, I know it's funny, but these are you think when I say them like that, it's like, oh, yeah, that's obvious signs to get into hospital. But when they're happening and then they progress quickly, you don't recognize them.

57:57So clearly, as the stats say, people don't recognize them. And sometimes it's not all of them. Sometimes it can just be one of them. So it's about understanding what those signs are. And if you have any, get into the A &E. Okay. Pull it out. Make sure it's not. Ask the question that could it be sexist? It could be. Fair. So the core signs from your experience were, just for us to unpack it. Fever, temperature, delirium, and dehydration. Dehydration. I got to a stage where I was quite bad, so I was experiencing all the signs. Okay. Yeah. Now I know, and testament to this, now I know those signs every time I've had a reinfection since.

58:43I've got straight into A &E, I've got on antibiotics, and I've been fine. I've been out with her in a few days. So now I understand the signs. I don't think I'll ever become septic again. And I don't think I'll ever have a fear, touch wood, wherever it may be, that I would ever, you know, be in that position again. Because I understand the signs. So it's about understanding them. Fair. This is very important. Very, extremely. The, was it the sepsis that then required your need for a liver transplant? No, this is something else. It's what it was, the sepsis came from my liver disease. So the infection came from my liver disease, which came out of control, which became septic.

59:27But the core problem was my liver disease, which is why I need a liver transplant. It's scary how quickly those things change. You know, from one minute thinking, you know, November last year to November this year. and that change and going from all that's happened in that year i mean and and only a few months ago i mean literally receiving being referred to a new doctor and receiving a letter well notification app on the nhs app saying we're sending you for liver transplant assessment ah yeah can we go back to that because from what i understand is this is literally what three months ago maybe or or less yeah two months ago you know there's something interesting that's just dawned on me you know how you remember dates yes don't remember the date and you know what's interesting i never remembered my dad's passing date because i blocked it out and it's only the last few years i now remember my dad's passing date and now i don't remember this date is it because it's trauma and just something that dawned on me there i don't remember the date could have been eight weeks ago, 10 weeks ago, 12 weeks ago.

1:00:44I think you kind of, when you have that trauma, block it out, right? You do. So somewhere two or three months ago in that vicinity, yes, I get this notification on the NHS app. Alice is at work. I'm home alone. And I go, oh, it's a letter from King's College. I get a letter after every appointment. Open it up. And it's literally a four-line letter. and it goes, Dear Sam, after reviewing your latest CT scan, these are in line with your condition. We're sending you for liver transplant assessment. I mean, that was, yeah, receiving that, I think your heart stops, your tummy drops. Yeah. In that moment, if we can go back and revisit that moment, you're describing emotively what's happening what are you thinking in that moment yeah yeah terrified fear of what am i gonna die yeah

1:02:03you're engaged, you know that you are a father to be. how does that impact your thoughts i always get sad when i think my dad's never going to see his grandchild to now start having that thing dawn on you am i going to see my child that's terrifying

1:02:31This is the part, Sam, that I can't fathom. I can't... Especially knowing the history that you had with your father and knowing the type of father that you want to be, you know, to have to fight that emotion and fight that feeling. I just can't and this is also why I'm so proud that you are talking about this I mean you're using your moments in your time to educate us which truly should be applauded yeah I mean this I had a breakdown I think it was a couple weeks ago because you process you know I decided to talk about this for these reasons um on reality tv I went I'm going to do my thing and raise the awareness it's just what you should do and I don't think I anticipated you know you talk about it on Made in Chelsea Made in Chelsea's fairly big fine and there is always a bit of media around it and that so I was expecting do it on Made in Chelsea be a bit of media and that would be it And I really did expect that.

1:03:46So to what ensued was the fact. Eight weeks later was. I'd processed it or compartmentalised it for now, dealt with it. And this media storm we talked about earlier hit. And I and the media storm that hit wasn't the context of. Look, yes, those fears hit me, but they're deep fears. And in all truth, a liver transplant is extremely successful. So I'm going to be here for my my son. I know that. And there are those fears. But, you know, the context is I'm healthy now. I'm going to be there for my son. I'm going to have this liver transplant and everything's going to be fine. Right. So I dealt with that.

1:04:38I'd processed that. And then the media storm and Made in Chelsea portrayed that brilliantly. The media storm, which followed. Every newspaper comes out with the headline. Four or five years left to live. that's not true and that broke me those newspapers didn't give a fuck about me they cared about selling their newspapers and they didn't think about the wider context they they cared about getting their headline and selling their newspapers the context is my liver might not be good for four or five years he doesn't know the doctor but rather than waiting for that, rather than waiting for my liver to get bad, I'll have a transplant.

1:05:27I'll remain healthy. I will see my son. I will live a long, happy life. And the media didn't do that. And so they didn't portray it like that. They didn't give the contacts. They thought about selling their newspapers. And then you suddenly sit there and your mum's a little bit broken. I could hear it in my mum's voice because she thought she heard it in my voice. And you go, why am I doing this why did I just swear I've done I've I've fudged up here I shouldn't have talked about it I should have kept it private should have dealt with it internally with our family processed it ourselves and I broke and I sat there and I broke and I sat there with Alice and we just we just took 20 minutes to cry um and I think I spoke to my aunt and she she kind of gave me a kick up the backside she was like you need to be there for Alice you need to be there for your son you know yes I understand what you're going through and she was fantastic at empathizing with me but she gave me the kick up the backside and then it propelled me into thinking this is why I'm doing this I'm doing this to raise awareness there are 8 ,000 other people out there on a transplant list that are waiting for transplants that would wish to have the voice that I had, the platform I have to talk about this, to encourage people to sign up, to reduce that list so they can get well soon.

1:06:51Yes. Yes. Okay. There's so many things that you've just said that I've... Yeah, I know. But also, you know what's beautiful? What I didn't know. I didn't know coming in. And this is so interesting. I'm so glad that you said it, is that in doing the research, you're right. the overwhelming number of articles out about you is that you have a limited time to live. I just have to believe it. It's not true. But also family and friends. I'm not going to cry. I spoke about this with Alice on the way here. Because obviously you tell people when you see them. It's a big thing to tell people. so you only tell your close family like immediately right you're like your your immediate family and then they tell your wider family right and it kind of people find out that way organically this way all the people you haven't had a chance to speak to yet find out you know and these are cousins people i'm close to that find out for a news article so you have the news articles with all these headlines and then you have family and friends messaging you like oh my like I'm so sorry to hear like basically they're about to say I'm so sorry you're gonna die and you have to and it's like and now I'm at the point where do I have to like explain to everyone that no no no this is the wider context the thousands of dms of people that messaging doing it's it's a it's very hard to navigate but i remain solidified that i've done the right thing for the awareness yes yes and i i'm using that and there are there are yeah and there are literally if everyone signed up so we have an opt-out system in the uk for uh organ donation so everyone One automatically thinks, oh, my organs would be donated.

1:08:51Actually, what happens is 1 % of deaths are likely for you to be able to give your organs because obviously a lot of deaths, your organs won't be viable for transplant. Okay. Well, I did not know this. Only 1 % of deaths. Only 1 % of deaths are viable for organ donation. Yeah. Okay. So, what that means, and those circumstances of those deaths are usually ones of surprise. So they haven't had those conversations. So yes, we're an opt-out system, but what happens, imagine, this is quite crass, I'm going to give you the imaginary situation, imagine a young lad has been hit by a car. Okay. His organs are fine.

1:09:37That family, we've got an opt-out system, transplant coordinators come to speak to the family. The family go, okay, so there's an opt-out system, so yes, we can, but the family can still opt out and 50 % of the time they do because they don't know the intentions or the wishes of their children. Oh, okay. So 50 % of the time, those organs aren't donated. Now, if everyone confirms their decision of what they want, then that increases to 90 % and that's why there's a necessity to confirm your decision and that's what I'm trying to raise awareness for. I see. And the really, really hard-hitting fact, right?

1:10:17Did you know you're two to three times more likely to need an organ than you are likely to be able to give an organ? No, no. So there is more chance, and I'm sorry to be crass here with your family. Sure. There's more chance that someone in your family would need an organ than any of you would be likely to ever give an organ. Which shows the importance of... Yeah, and then there's the big ethical debate. If you're willing to take an organ from someone, surely you should be willing to give your organs. Yes. It's an extremely complex issue. All I'm advocating for is if you know you want to give your organs, just confirm your decision.

1:10:53Because 50 % of the time, if you did die in a manner where your organs would be viable, your family wouldn't donate it. So go confirm your decision and make sure that they know what that is. Have that conversation with them, but also confirm it online so there is, you know, it's already been done. It takes the pressure off them. what their wishes are. So looking at organ donation too, this is just mind-blowing if you look at the numbers. Over 8 ,000 people in the UK are currently waiting for an organ transplant. 650 people in the UK are currently waiting for a liver transplant. And in 2022 to 2023, almost 500 people died simply by waiting on the transplant list, which to your point underscores the importance of this because those organs were available like i literally just shivered all over the hair standing up on my legs yeah it's it's just it's just one of those where it is a i mean that's 500 unnecessary deaths yes yes yes so then currently you were on a waiting list.

1:12:07I'm being sent for a liver transplant assessment. There's another dilemma to the whole. Before you go on the list, they have to make sure you're going to survive the surgery effectively. Less big of a deal for me, you know, I'm a fit. I like to believe I'm fit and healthy and young and, you know, whatever. There's obviously a lot of other people that are a little bit elderly. pre-existing other conditions which can implicate things. So it makes it harder for them to survive the surgery. So those numbers you said, it doesn't even take into account all of those people that actually need a transplant list but don't even get onto the waiting list.

1:12:47Wow. So physically you have to be at a certain level. Survive a 12-hour surgery. It's a 12-hour surgery. For a liver transplant, yeah. Wow. So kidneys are amazing, right? They transplant them like through keyhole surgery. we're so advanced on liver kidney but liver slightly more tricky and obviously as you go up the vital organs it gets even trickier you know heart and lung being a very very i mean i think we did the world's first double lung transplant the other day okay yeah okay amazing i mean it's fantastic yeah if you look at the the advances of medical technology it's just it's it's a blessing to be alive, you know, in this day and age.

1:13:32You've hit on something really, really important. And this is why I'm an optimist. This is why I'm a positive person. And I don't go, what I did for one day, go, why me? Why does it happen to me when I had my breakdown? But I go, how lucky am I that I'm living in this time frame? If I was born in my granddad's or before, I wouldn't be so lucky. I wouldn't make it past my mid-30s you know so I'm lucky I'm lucky to be born this time frame where we're able to do a liver transplant nearly every day we do one okay every day we're doing a liver transplant I mean how amazing is that yes and then also the fact that you're going to receive a liver from someone who wanted yeah you know yeah that's amazing yeah that I mean that's that's Beautiful.

1:14:26Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, I hope I had a really good friend, a guy named Daniel Werb. Unfortunately, a couple of years ago, he passed away from a brain aneurysm. And the way I describe him was the kindest man you'll ever meet, much like yourself. Thank you. You have that nice, genuine aura to you and quite like him. Just a very kind person. And he had that conversation with his family a month before and said, if I was to pass away, why wouldn't I give my organs to someone who needs them? I don't need them anymore. And he said this to his family. So when that time came, he saved four people's lives.

1:15:13His sister reached out to me recently and spoke to me and she said, thank you for raising awareness on your story. because it made me realize how important it is to keep speaking about Daniel's story. And that really touched me. I mean, that's humanity at its best, right? I mean, I've received thousands of messages. It's obviously there's a big thing about you with livers. You can do live transplants and there is it shows humanity at its finest. I have not seen one negative message, you know, thousands of these messages. And I sometimes see some of them pop up. And, you know, there are so many, I wish I could reply to them all.

1:15:50But I mean, I would spend all day on social media replying to messages. And there are people who are offering to do the live transplant to give half their livers. And I think that is humanity at its finest. Think about it. I mean, think about that. Yeah. Isn't that, you know, we talk so much about how terrible society is. Yeah. But then here you have all of these people who probably have never met you. Yeah. Willing to give up half their liver for you. Yeah. I mean, you'll sit here with me and you'll see that I talk about everything in a positive light. And you'll see that Alice, you know, what she says about me in that video, I'm such a positive person.

1:16:33So I see everything for the better. I see people for the better. And I see all the optimism. And that's all I talk about. I talk about the goodness, you know. I think strive to be in the light Keep away from the dark Absolutely Now do you know where I think you might Get this from It's another surprise I have for you Then I could deal with more surprises All day All day So what I want you to do here Is I want you to read this Letter out loud for us Okay

1:17:16I just saw the last word and it's well Sam, I hope this is okay to say I'm proud of Sam I hope this is okay to say I'm proud of Sam is an understatement From his original diagnosis of genetic liver disease aged four he has carried on living his life to the full. Some of our fondest memories of him staying with us when he had to play either cards or drafts constantly. I think Sam's highlight was when aged six, he helped cover the swimming pool in our garden in preparation for a marquee to be erected for a family wedding. There are so many memories of a big personality that I'm so happy to call my grandson.

1:18:00I don't know why that's got me more than anything.

1:18:10you know what's beautiful is she ended with so proud the thing that you you know i don't know why that was so much more than the rest oh dear fucking hell

1:18:34I think it's because I was I even called her last night and I don't know if it's my grandfather or my grandmother this has come from grandmother grandmother I called her last night and I think I'm because her personality is not to talk about things openly especially in this format i was worried about her and what she if she was worried about me talking openly like this that means a lot to me yeah i tell you it shows you shows you how proud she is the fact that she would contribute that letter yeah yeah yeah you're loved you you were you were loved profoundly And I think this is so beautiful for you because I didn't know this when we sat down, but I could see that, you know, you saw that you had love as a child, but oftentimes we want a little bit more.

1:19:35Yeah. Right? We really want to feel that we are special and we are extraordinary. And maybe you didn't always feel that way. But I feel that you have surrounded yourself with people who make you feel that way today. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you really do. You really do. Right now, over 8 ,000 people across the UK are living each day in uncertainty, waiting for a call to say, we found a match, a story I'm all too familiar with. In the time it takes to listen to this message, you could be the reason someone like Sam's story changes. You have the potential to save not just one, but up to nine lives just by registering as an organ donor.

1:20:22It's simple, takes only two minutes, and it's entirely your choice. You decide what you want to give. Most of us would accept an organ if we needed one. And right now, most of us are more likely to need a transplant in our lifetime than to be a donor. That's why we've partnered with NHS Organ Donation. By confirming your decision on the NHS Organ Donation registration page, it becomes far more likely that the decision will be honored when you're not here. So whatever your decision, record it and tell your loved ones too. It could make all the difference. If my story moved you, know that thousands of people share that same story.

1:20:59So don't just feel something, do something. Head to organdonation.nhs.uk or click the link in the description now. It only takes two minutes. What I didn't realize and you just mentioned this is this thing with me it's a 12-hour surgery yeah this is serious surgery yeah once you receive the liver then and I've seen statistics what is the survival rates with with with the liver I mean so this this is the interesting part But these are the averages. And this is what's scary. 95 % survival rate on the surgery. And then those percentages drastically start to come down as the years go on. Your mortality rate shrinks.

1:21:51So a thing which looks like I will need because you probably, the liver doesn't typically survive 60 or 70 years, you know, to a normal life expectancy. You know, if I was to make it to 80s. So... Yeah. Mortality rates drastically come down and by 25 years, it's 50-50. It's 50-50. I think the context of that, though, and something I've learned lately is your average transplantee is a lot older than me. And I think they dragged that mortality rate down. OK, fair. But there is, it's extremely likely I will need a re-transplantation if medicine was to stay the way it is. OK. That's, I believe. I mean, but it's quite an unknown.

1:22:37You know, what we have started to realise with going through this journey is everything is different. Every case is different because, you know, yes, they do a liver transplant every day. But when you consider like actually percentage wise how many liver transplant that is to the global population. Yes. You realise how minute that is. and every case is so different. You know, some people take to their liver and have gone on to 40 years. Some people reject their liver. It's just such an unknown. And that's, I think, the scary part. Which is fair, the unknown. But then there's also this abundance of information that we have now.

1:23:24And in doing this research for you, a term that I had never heard before, which totally makes sense, is health anxiety. right and when i look at this is health anxiety is the intense worry about one's health usually to the point that it produces significant distress or interferes with day-to-day life and here's the stat up to 20 of medical patients in the uk have experienced significant health anxiety and it's due to the rising ability to find more medical information online interesting so is health anxiety something that you believe you have experienced oh yeah that means since i got sepsis all your i mean when you nearly yeah when you nearly die that's all you worry about is this gonna happen again yes yeah and then is it this researching of of information and it's the worst it's the worst yeah keep away from that research because you're i mean your research is rubbish compared to what the doctors know.

1:24:30If you need to know something, ask your doctors. Why? I mean, the idea that we Google symptoms is ridonkulous. I use that word. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. Yeah. I mean, it's the most silly thing we do, I think. You know, we Google our symptoms. We Google things. Because, yeah, if you need to know, speak to your doctor. And I think there should be a ban on the internet from finding out medical information because there's also a variety of inact sources which are not right you know yeah so in your management of this though and in me now understanding health anxiety which I didn't realize was a thing but now I understand how prevalent it is yeah I can see many people in my life who I believe suffer none of us can be in your shoes um or to listen to your point now is the shoes of those loved ones are around you because you said something that i want to come back to i think this is a great time to come back to it and that is as you said you started talking about liver disease and you said this was my experience but not my mother's yeah only something which i've dawned upon recently and that's so those around those having a medical challenge health concern right experience things differently yeah how did your mother well so i i described this situation to her as i describe it to you now of the liver disease never impacting me it's never been a thing up until the age of 27 and then all of a sudden i'm bam i'm ill she goes she like looks at me funny like that's not true you were really people poorly as a baby you know you need you died like once as a baby and your whole life you've had we've been going to hospital yes and i've been a mother through all of that and i was like wow you really and i know it dawned upon me i was like you've had such a different experience of this than me so she's able to cope today i think a lot better than I am because she's dealt with it her whole life my whole life where I haven't I have you know and testament to my parents to make me believe that I was it I wasn't affected you know in the sense I could live my life to my fullest it was never on my mind so I had a fantastic childhood never even thought about it yes but her journey of that is so very different and I find that very interesting.

1:27:17Yeah, I tell you, from a parent to a soon-to-be parent, I'll tell you perhaps the biggest challenge, and that is feeling your child's emotion but not fusing with it. Very important, very challenging. You know where I'm going with this. is this because I I my mum wasn't getting upset recently to the point where I would like I would show her something and I couldn't see her this is messed up right but I kind of not wanted her to see her break but like I'm like are you feeling what I'm feeling kind of thing like why aren't you breaking down and I think it was it to the point where I think I broke my mum down and then I went that's why you haven't broken down because it made me feel worse yes she she's reached supreme level parenting yeah you know and I'm trying to to get to that place but what ends up happening I think just naturally when you have this unconditional love for your child is this protection mode protection and you know that if they are sad you become sad yeah it's it's to the point literally where the happiness of and i think it's instinctive right it is yeah it is the happiness of my day is based on how happy my child my two children are i would say that's the same for my mom yeah yeah yeah but but it shouldn't be that way yeah right and the reason why is to Where your mom is, I think now, is this whole notion of if you can have what's called boundaried empathy, which is close enough so that you don't get enmeshed, you don't get burned by it, but not too far where you're aloof or you're too distant.

1:29:15You have to be just in that right zone. And I'm trying to get to that place. and I know that when you see your child, you will fuse. There is just something that takes over. Something I've learnt recently, which is a mother bonds with their child, obviously from, you know, when they're growing it inside them, right? But the dad is the fusing is at the first touch. And some say even later than the first touch. It takes a while for a dad to bond and get that. I think, you know, it all depends because with my boys, my wife was ill. And so immediately I had to, I was, you know, I was right there, you know, with them.

1:30:08And for me it was, it could have been first touch or sight, but it was this immediate, I can't describe it. Yeah. It was this immediate we are one. Yeah. Yeah. And it's I've never been able to relinquish that, you know, to the point where there was yesterday there was a it was a an alarm went off in my son's school. He shouldn't have his phone. So hopefully I don't get him into too much. he shouldn't have his phone but he had his phone and the teacher misinterpreted this fire alarm for an intruder alarm oh god so she had them all go under their desk so he he pulls out his phone and he's he's so scared and he messages uh me and he messages his mom now i've got a million things going on, I'm on tour, I'm doing that.

1:31:05Everything in my world stops. It stops. Everything else is so distant, so secondary. I now am feeling anxious. I'm feeling fear. I'm feeling all of these, and it is immobilizing me, right? And this is just like that. Welcome. That's what you're take over their feeling. It's not always the best thing, but it's also lovely. Yeah. It's also lovely. So on that, Sam, I have your last surprise. If you're going to put out something that's going to make me emotional, I'm going to say you can keep it. I don't know where you're going to go with this, but I did see this. I think it is absolutely beautiful.

1:31:55I've been holding this one. Okay. Okay. So, you ready? Yeah. Here we go. I would love for you to read this. Why letters? I love letters. I don't. I'm really not ignoring letters.

1:32:18This is my mother, isn't it? I know straight away. To Sam, from the moment you entered the world, you had to fight to stay. You have never once moaned or asked why me. In everything you do, from carting to running your own business, you give it everything. You are the loudest person in the room, and my God, the most charismatic person in the room. You are my inspiration, my life, my world. I'm so proud to call you my son. Love, Mum.

1:32:52I just hold it together for that one. mom is the mvp yeah and can i actually i know why i'm not reacting as much to it and why i'm able to like because i know it i know all of that and my mom's incredible and i know all of that so that reading that i know that's prof that's some profound insight right there yeah i know all of that i know i know yeah i in that that bond my mom and i have and share yeah i i know and we we yeah she doesn't ever make me feel you know like not that you know i'm just saying i she's just we've just got yeah i know i know she she from the moment you began talking about her you were describing unconditional love that she has for you and you've always felt that way yeah yeah yeah i love that now talking about it i mean i'm nearly going so yeah i'll give it back oh thank you so much thank you so much we have so uh this is we're doing something very special for you sam and for your cause here is that we have a link in the episode description to register right now and also because of you my friend so I have opted in I'm a donor in the United States but because of you I'm going to become a donor here that's amazing that really is and yeah thank you I mean on behalf and I don't mean that I mean that and like on behalf of everyone because something I've realized lately is what I need to be is the voice for the 8 ,000 people and who are waiting yes and if i can help them i'm also helping myself yes and you know there's you know i'm helping us all it's not just about me it's also about them as well yeah yeah you're ready for the final question go for it that everyone gets it is my favorite question when you think about all of the incredible conversations you've had throughout your life which one stands at as the most memorable?

1:35:10Who was it with and what did you learn? That's an impossible question. I mean, there's got to be so many conversations in life, which I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. I think this conversation is going to stick with me. It's not going to leave me. I think there's a reason for that there's a reason for everything I believe there's a reason why I'm here today and I think we you know we've tackled some hard things in my life which has been like a therapy for me and I think there's been some big things we talked about and I think this is a fantastic platform which can hopefully go on to help loads of people and that's what I'm really hopeful for And that's why I'm doing all of this PR media storm and I'm riding the wave, even sometimes when it's so not helpful, because I believe it's going to be helpful to other people.

1:36:18So I think that this conversation, if it goes the way I want it to, it could really help a lot of people. I tell you what, well, one is I appreciate that. I really do. I'm never going to forget this. I mean, I'm literally becoming a donor because of you. I will not forget this, right? But this has been an exceptional chat. I think that you should be incredibly proud of what you're doing, especially in this moment, because I think this is a moment where many people will say, you know what, Sam should just spend time with his family. Yeah. You know, just be inwardly and reflect and be introspective.

1:36:58But what you're saying is, no, you're going to do that, but you're also going to go out here and fight for other people and fight for what you know is right. And I think that should be applauded. And also I think that in a day and age where there's so much judgment on reality television, I think you are presenting like a phenomenally positive aspect of reality TV and what it can do. Like literally your presence is changing lives. and you could argue that your presence is saving lives. Yeah, well, that would, even if it's, there's another big reason why I've done this. So it's not just about the awareness and hopefully, you know, even if we save one life, which would be fantastic, but also the small gains and, you know, depends how you measure things, but another big gain from this is when I found out my news about needing a liver transplant, my mum did the typical mum thing and she found someone for a friend of a person at the gym who was a masseuse's friend client whatever you know as a mum does yes and she found someone who was also had gone through a liver transplant and she was like do you want to speak to him and I was you know I was in a state and she went we're gonna speak to them she gets the person's number through this friends, clients, masseuses, client, whatever, as mums do.

1:38:28And anyway, she gives her a call and she goes, I'm speaking with my son, do you mind speaking to him? And I spoke to that lady and she talked to me through her journey. Bearing in mind, I literally found out that day that I need a liver transplant and I found it so comforting to speak to her, to hear she'd gone through this journey and she was great. She had, it was 30 years ago. She lives her life normally. she's got children her sister also so there was five of them and two of them got the disease so two of them needed transplant both of them had true transplant one had a tough journey her sister and herself had a journey which was fine but they're both in their 40s I believe made it out and I found that so comforting so I thought thought if I'm going to take to reality tv to talk about the lesser important stuff of life then it's my duty to talk about this and potentially provide that comfort for people like me going through this journey there you go so there was another part of that there was two big things of why i wanted to do this it was so someone who is feeling down going through that journey went i saw sam he did it look at him he's 60 17 now like, testament to Sam.

1:39:46If he can do it, I can do it, you know? Yes. So there's two parts to it. And, you know, if we save any lives, fantastic. But even as little as just providing that comfort to someone along that journey. Yes. So there's another reason. That's a brilliant story. And it's interesting, the moment that you said, did the mom thing. Yeah. My mother's done exactly the same thing. Exactly the same thing. There's a health issue. She found this, this, this. Yeah, yeah. It's funny how a mum will just suddenly be so resourceful. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sam, it's been brilliant. Thank you very much for having me.

1:40:23I really appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. Here we go. Sam Vanderpump. This is terrible for me to say it because I'm in reality TV. But I thought, reality TV star. And I walked in thinking, okay, I'm really going to have to dig to get to this rawness. But Sam completely surprised me. As a matter of fact, from the moment that I was introduced to him, when he walked onto set, I thought, this guy's real. I've never, ever heard anyone say that reality TV's been healthy for them. But I believe what he said. I think it has been healthy for him. When media immediately said he had four to five years to live, you could see how he really got emotional around that and how loved ones like grandparents and cousins, et cetera, read that.

1:41:16And I'm glad that he was able to clear that out. And it shows you how impactful these press headlines are and how careful we all need to be. You know, Sam saying that we're more likely to need an organ than we are to donate an organ, that was a light bulb moment, you know. And your brother, your sister, your family member might not be able to provide that to you. So there is a high level of importance around us at least being aware. And not only being aware, but what Sam was very good at articulating is making our loved ones aware.

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