The Truth About The Most Outrageous Reality TV Show! We're Talking Geordie Shore!

0:00Hello, and welcome to We're Talking. In this episode, Geordie Shore icons Holly Hagan and Chloe Ferry sit down to talk reality TV. They open up about body image, surgery, and the mental challenges of growing up on camera and establishing their identities. Today, we're talking Geordie Shore.

0:30I was out on a night out and I was doing my dance moves because I like to get it all out. Like I said, I like to dance. And two scouters come over and said, have you ever thought about doing Jory Shaw? But at this point, I never thought about it. But then I thought, you know what it is? I'm actually quite a funny girl. I thought, this is perfect for me. and the girls said to her she went I know that you're gonna get this this is when jolly show was at its peak it was like three thousand pounds three thousand three thousand people in tiger tiger auditioning to get it this is when it was get three million views yeah it was a massive when i got it i remember i'm i was only 19 at this point i thought god this is a lot of taking it was like i think four to six months down the line the audition process and what and what is the audition because i didn't even realize people audition audition so like the first one was you meet the execs, you'd sit there, you'd ask you questions about yourself, like, what's your party trick like, it's just all that, and I said, I do this thing called the cat, I'll show you after because I don't want to show you, and just going through, and then there's one audition where you stand from one to ten and ten being the funniest and one being the boring, like, how entertaining are you?

1:34Me and actually Nathan argued because I went to ten, he went to ten, we actually had an argument in our audition, so it was just like Oh my gosh, Nathan was in your audition? Yeah, yeah we didn't like each other at all, we hated each other. We argued in that audition and then I remember getting the call so we're watching, me and my mum used to be Coronation Street fans so we sat down at seven o 'clock on a Monday night, two phones were on silent and I said, hey ma 'am someone's bringing us, I don't understand, Coronation Street's on? I said that's not right, who the fuck brings when Coronation Street's on?

2:04She went, I went, it's a number, I think it's the debtors, it was like 002 because we didn't know London numbers, we were like Newcastle people right? So I'll go then I'll answer it, might be the dinners so i answered it and i went um hello and they went oh like i guess i sat down i went no i'm standing up went will you sit down please i went all right okay and they're like you've got the job like you're coming on geordie shore and i thought oh my god like are you joking i wasn't prepared my hair was all hanging out i think i didn't even go in with nails on because i couldn't afford to get them done wow but okay the moment that you hear you're on geordie shore what's your mom's reaction she was buzzing because just she just thought like god this is going to be like life-changing for where like we're gonna finally obviously I didn't really know what I was going into I didn't even know I would be where I was today like I was just I went and blindsided I just turned 19 you know what it's like when you're 19 you don't know what you do you just want to go out and get drunk you want you don't care about life you don't care about what you want your goals to be do you like at 19 I just wanted to be there for a wild time so what was your impression of Geordie Shore at 19 how would you describe the show and where you are you must have been watching it because at my when i was younger when i was like 15 i think it came out so like it was massive when i come out back in the day and like i remember i actually put like a twitter a tweet account about charlotte and gary and i was like if that gary hurts charlotte one more time i'm gonna go mad i remember because obviously 15 year olds that was like the era of when jolly show was out so but i never ever thought about being on it but when i thought to myself god like this could be life-changing but i didn't think about like money or anything i just want to go in there like have a clean slate and just have a good time but what would you how would you describe especially to someone who's never watched geordie short yeah how would you describe the show what is the show it's like it's like i would say love island in towie but like on acid that's what i'm asking basically i don't know if you can say that but basically yeah okay okay so so how do you if you were to give even more detail right of it especially let's say someone has not watched Love Island or not watched TOWIE?

4:01Like what is the show? So basically there's probably about 10 cast members in the house and we all live there. We'll go out every single night. We'll get drunk. Like there's people who are like boyfriend and girlfriend. There's people who like have got situationships going on. There's people in there who don't like each other. Like it's just like it's crazy in there. Like it is like really, really hard because when you go in there, when I first went in, I was like, can I watch Coronation street tonight that's actually the first thing that i said the producer actually went no we're taking your phone off here so as a 19 year old girl i was like oh my god what am i what am i even doing but that's why i go back to that moment when you and your mother found out right you're but you said your mother is excited though but knowing that you're about to go into this tornado right was and it sounds like the excitement your excitement was because you felt like okay we're going to be on TV no not that I'm gonna be on TV I think it's more about like because I was dyslexic my ice skating wasn't doing well it was more like I think this could be a little bit of a job for us I didn't have anything in the pipeline I didn't know what I was I wasn't clever enough to go get a job I didn't know what I was gonna do I felt worthless all I want to do was go out and get a drink downers I mean you you really felt as if there was no hope for you professionally like I wanted to be ice skating choreographer but I always had that doubt in the back of my mind that I wasn't good enough.

5:25Really? So this was your way out? Yeah, my way out. And your mother saw it as your way out. So you join. Yeah. Right. And when you join, it's series 10. Series 10, yeah. And I see that even looking at the numbers, and maybe Chloe, this is due to you and Nathan, but I see that the show was already incredibly, you know, it was being watched by over a million people right but then after you come on it becomes more popular yeah it did it was huge when we went on obviously it's not as big now but it was absolutely massive as well and i just like i remember when i first walked in and like i met everyone everyone was lovely and i remember i went upstairs and i went oh my god like look at all these clothes i said they've all got labels on i said jesus christ like how you got this many clothes and labels on the way oh we got sent them free i went you got sent them for free i went and i went what and they went we also get paid to promote them so I said you get sent them for free you get paid to wear them I said this is the job for me I said great I said like it's amazing like the girls are getting sent clothes but then they're also getting paid to promote them I said I didn't know that oh well so when you walk in because a lot of people when they get onto reality tv especially now it's how can I make the most money how can I be you know have the a storyline how can I be the craziest or the wildest should I say so therefore I can make more money when I get off the show what was your thought going in to Geordie Short?

6:47Before going in like I didn't think about money or businesses at all all I wanted to do was go in there and just have a good time I didn't have that sort of mindset at that time and especially because it was my first series and stuff and like obviously everyone made us feel welcome but I still felt because I had such a close bond everyone in there I didn't feel like 100 % like I fitted in because I was like I was a little bit timid and stuff so when I first went in I just wanted to have a good time it was like because I was so young I just turned 19 that would have been my era going to uni so I thought I was like it's just uni but it's on tv okay I get it I get it so you're in there right now this is 2010 yeah reality television is much different in 2010 there's a lot less safeguarding yeah in 2010 what did you what was your perception around how well protected you were from a production standpoint because you are now on a show where millions of people are watching it's incredibly popular so therefore now you're recognizable throughout most of the UK so how did you feel as if you were being protected and safeguarded at that time to be honest not really because Because when the show did air and stuff, and when the press pictures did come out, I got a lot of backlash for my appearance, and no one actually sat us down and was like, you're going to get a lot of backlash on your looks, you just need to ignore it.

8:11I didn't understand at first, but to be honest, I tried to just put it at the back of my head and ignore it. Because when you're young, you're not brought up to be like, your mum or your dad wouldn't say to you, you're going to get a backlash this day, someone's going to say this about you, no one ever really says that to you. so I feel like if I was pre-warned about how much negativity that I was going to get then maybe I could have like helped myself a lot more but I remember just I just put it at the back of my head okay all of the comments all right so the first comments that are coming in are all on your appearance yeah oh everything on my appearance yeah everything and at this time you've had no surgery no surgery no at all but I'll bear in mind I actually thought I looked okay like I was quite confident I didn't care okay just I was just there for a good time okay so going in you had no thought of I'm going to get surgery you were you were never obviously I thought oh I might get a little because I never had any lips I thought oh I might get a bit lip filler but I could never afford to get it done but I never thought ever in a million years like getting my boobs done or anything I never ever thought about that I didn't even really know about surgery to be honest and it would never cross my mind okay but you said that the comments started coming in so where were the comments coming in it was this press as well press and also social media okay and so articles written about how you looked and people commenting about how you looked now when you think about those comments right they were devastating it sounds like they were devastating yeah what what did what did they do to you just like I had no I well my main thing was that I actually started to believe it like seeing I'm ugly I'm fat I'm embarrassing me nose is big like as a young woman who was still like developing I was still growing I didn't I didn't know what to believe like obviously I didn't speak to anyone about it because I was just embarrassed about it so I remember the first comment that really stuck to my head this is when I didn't think about surgery so remember I had like a white short top on and my cleavage was out a little bit and I remember every single comment was saying that my boobs were saggy and I thought hey I thought and I thought before that I was like I've got the most amazing perky boobs I thought that doesn't make sense like I've got gorgeous boobs and that it just one of the comments just stuck in my head And I thought, I'm going to get my boobs done.

10:40But before that, I thought I had the best boobs ever. Okay. So can we spend a moment there? Because there's some people who would have seen those comments and said, you know what? But I love the way that my boobs look, so therefore, too bad. I love them. I wasn't in that mindset to do that. I was so young. Okay. And no one had told me that this was going to happen, that I was going to get absolutely excruciated on my looks. But I wish I had that mindset because if I had that, the mindset that I've got now, I wish, like if I could say to my younger self, don't get surgery, I would say, I wish I couldn't.

11:17If I could turn back time, I would not have got any surgery. Okay. But it was those comments that triggered you to think, okay, I'm definitely going to now get at least my boobs done. Yeah. All right. Were you talking to anyone at this time in terms of like, did you have friends that you would say, hey, do you think I should do this or not? Did you have a sounding board or you just made? Just made, I made the decision. The thing is with me, I'm very impulsive. If I want something, I'll just get it done straight away. Obviously, when I told my mom about it, she was like really, really worried. I'm like, oh, like it's surgery, like a issue.

11:48I was like, yes, I'm getting it done. Like that's going back to when I was like younger. Like I never used to listen. I do what I want to do. Like I'm very impulsive with my decisions. Okay. So your thought was, I'm going to get this done. And the reason why is because they're saying this. So if I get this done, then what's your thought? It'll stop. It'll stop. Yeah, because all these people who I don't know, thousands of comments, once I get my boobs done and they look, I don't know, perky, then they'll stop. Okay. But obviously it was the opposite.

12:26When was the first time that you heard about this show, Geordie Shore, and how were you casted for it? so I it was my boyfriend actually at the time he saw an article in a newspaper this is how old we are it was in a newspaper and he was like um oh my god they're doing this like the Newcastle version of Jersey Shore and this you have to like apply on Facebook and I was like oh I'm not gonna get it like I'm not from Newcastle I thought I'll just apply anyway why not they rang me a couple of days later on that phone call I was like yeah wear like nine pairs of eyelashes and this is what I do on a weekend and blah blah blah you literally had nine pairs of eyelashes nine pairs that you would put one after another one after and then i wouldn't take them off for a month wow just leave them on okay not great hygiene okay all right well like i don't even wear a lash now yeah i'm like you had nine man every year you take one off literally and they're like the girls in the office want to know how you fit nine pairs of eyelashes on your eye and i'm like well i can show you if you want and they're like right we want you to come down to newcastle and come and interview with us face to face i was like amazing i'll get the time off work and my boyfriend at the time took me and in this interview they're like yeah so obviously you've got a boyfriend i'm like yeah that's absolutely fine he'll let me get with people don't worry we'll we'll just have some boundaries and like well you've got a boyfriend but he'll let you go yeah don't worry about it like and the things that i was saying i didn't realize at the time but obviously they were just rubbing their hands together thinking this girl is nuts like we need her on tv and I just thought I'm not gonna get it if there's somebody from Newcastle who's similar to me they'll get it instead of me and then they're like oh we need you to do some filming at this date I didn't realize at the time but I'd got down to like the very last few she rings me back she's like what I'm about to tell you is confidential I'm like okay anyone finds out about this you will be replaced but welcome aboard you're on Geordie Shaw and I was like I didn't really know what it meant for us at the time.

14:27But yeah, from that point, I knew that I was going to be going away for six weeks in a house with other people, not getting paid for it. And I was just going to go and have a laugh. And that's all I thought about it. And I took six weeks off work from the call center to do that. Who did you tell that day? I only told, I think my boyfriend at the time and my mom, because I was so terrified of it getting out. My mom didn't want to know. She knew I was absolutely nuts. She did not want her daughter on TV doing the things that she knew I would be doing. But any parent to have their child go on a reality TV show when there was no welfare involved, you know, it's.

15:06But what did she know? Because that was so this is 2011. 11. Yeah. Right. So 2011 Jersey Shore from what I remember Jersey Shore in the States. That was the first show of its kind where it was not the first reality show, but the first kind of raw look at reality where you could see people drink. You could see people you're seeing some nudity. You're seeing some what you believe is sex happening. But the other reality shows were not like that. So what was your mother thinking about what the show was going to be and what were you actually thinking the show would be? so I was just thinking well the only reference we have is Jersey Shore so we were thinking it's just Jersey Shore but the English version so that's kind of the reference that I had in my head now I don't think my mother was a watcher of Jersey Shore but I think she was aware of it at the time um so she was just like oh god the drinking the partying like that's going to be on TV MTV was such a big channel at the time I couldn't comprehend it in my head that I'm going going to be on this tv show and it's going to be shown not only in the uk but worldwide and we were going to be known worldwide and that i was going to be getting slagged off on twitter in different languages okay so when the show was filming at first it was it's six weeks yeah right and so you know you're going to be in a home in essence for six weeks you said you were intentionally last yeah why do you think that you were placed last shock factor I didn't look like the other girls I didn't have that pretty image they were all waiting for like a stunner to walk in and I'll happily say I was not somebody you would have classed as a stunner at that time I wasn't attractive to men at that point and I had this these big boobs the leather glove on my hand with the studs the black and blonde hair the nine pairs of eyelashes concealer on my lips no blush like it was it was a train wreck honestly it was it's funny to look back at but I genuinely thought I looked great and I came in with a bottle of Glenn's vodka which is like a really cheap make and I was like oh I brought this for everyone like just trying to be friends and the second I walked in the lads were just like make sure she's not in our room like so Vicky ran upstairs to make sure that she was in the boys room because they didn't want to be in with me and I think it was in a room with Jay and they'd already kind of all solidified a friendship before I got there.

17:33Like Sophie and Charlotte were in the hot tub together. The boys were doing their boy things. Vicky was like around the boys and I was kind of just this last surprise. What was your first impression of all of the, all of the, I keep saying contributors. What do you call them? You call them? Cast mates. Cast mates. Yeah, I don't know, but should we call them friends? Yeah, they're my friends now that weren't then. what would you what was your first impression okay so first impression of the boys I'd never seen boys that looked like that these were like Newcastle boys not like Middlesbrough boys like there was a big difference in like Newcastle men and Middlesbrough men these would have like so tanned muscles like low-cut shirts the um Jesus necklaces like all of that kind of stuff I just like was taking little bits of everyone else's personality to like try and fit in I think because I I was just like putting on this really big front and yeah when I walked in that first time they were like Jagerbombs I'd never had a Jagerbombs before I was like yay so I drank one I was like that's disgusting and the boys were like again again and yes I could have said no but honestly in that situation you're just trying to impress like you've just got on a tv show so I'm necking these Jager bombs and literally I think within like five minutes I'm like blackout drunk within you this is day one instant yeah you're blackout drunk I'm blackout drunk I'm in the hot tub I'm getting my boobs out and don't get me wrong like even with that like I would have done that at some point like I definitely would have done that that was just who I was at the time so I'm not blaming anyone for that but I do think you know that wouldn't be allowed now right and I think that just shows you that that wasn't really right then but you know it made a really good show and as much as I you know I did have a really crap time that first series through faults of my own you know I I cheated on my boyfriend the people in the house judged me for it I get it like I completely get it but the majority of them then went on to cheat on their partners in further series and they didn't get half the stick that I got for it so I kind of felt a little bit unfair in in parts um but yeah I understood why I got the hate I wasn't being myself so I guess people couldn't gel with me but I didn't know who myself was I was still trying to figure that out I think 18 is really young to be on a tv show and whilst I'm so grateful and I would never change it I do think that now I'm glad that they have the welfare that they don't really tend to put 18 year olds in those kind of situations anymore um because those decisions they do have an impact on the rest of your life and I've had to work really hard to get away from that image and it's been difficult yeah what would you say your most challenging moment was in that first six weeks of filming I think just feeling like the odd one out like I felt like I never fit in I felt like when the girls were dancing they'd have the backs to me I felt like the boys just didn't even want to hear a word that I had to say because I wasn't attractive to them and it just felt it felt like everyone was so much older than me and they were I could never go back and watch that I don't want to i see people watching it now and they're like oh my god people treat you so awfully and i'm like people didn't say that at the time because the the world's changed a lot since then yes i get a lot more empathy now now just to spend a moment on the fact that you have blocked it out i think this is very interesting because many of our guests will talk about moments that they cannot recollect yeah and i've even seen sometimes in the comments people say well is that true like Like, do they really block it out?

21:11And I've actually done the research on it is we actually do. We do. You know, it is the technical term is memory fragmentation. Yeah. Right. And it's this whole notion of when we're going through a traumatic experience. Yeah. And we move to a space of it's fight or flight and our body goes into survival mode. Yeah. What we end up doing is instead of recording these moments like a movie. Yeah. We record it like a Polaroid. Yeah. Just snapshots. and we remember the feelings but not the intricacies. 100%. And I would imagine that's exactly how you feel. It's like the audience will remember more than me.

21:47I sometimes, I'm in the Reddit thread sometimes and I have a little nosy. And I'm like, how are you guys remembering all of that? And I can literally not remember a single thing of that time. But you've got to remember as well, we were doing like two, three seasons a year at one point. So you imagine they all blend into one in the end. And we're drunk a lot of the time. So your memory is hazy from that. as well um so it's very much like yeah I did block out a lot of it um and I'm fine with that I'm okay with leaving that where it was um and I don't regret doing anything but I wish I hadn't got my boobs out in the hot tub to be honest that was my big regret just because it went on the front page of all the papers and did it and because the lights were shining on them it looked like I had no nipples so then there was a Facebook group made about me saying um when you try and breastfeed but realize you're holy are you serious i'm serious i can laugh about it now but back then i was like oh god everyone thinks i've got like onion boobs this is but so hot this is what i want to know it sounds like the first series from your lived experience was a disaster a disaster i quit oh you did first the first series i literally walked out i'm never doing that again i'm moving to spain i'm changing my name like genuinely i felt like i'd ruined my whole life so why sign up for series two okay so the producers rang me and they were like holly we've been commissioned for a summer special said no not going anywhere near those people again i hate myself i hate everyone like we're not doing it and they were like it's three days in magalof you have the opportunity right now to rewrite your story to come back and to show them who you really are we will i used to have red hair okay and they were like we'll dye your hair red you can go in with a completely new image you can go in first it'll be a completely new look for you this is like your redemption my redemption yeah and I was like guys you're gonna have to let me think about it because I just don't think I can I can put myself through that again I decided to put myself through that again and I'm terrified still but I go and I just try and keep in the background I don't get involved with much but it's the first time that I like take my makeup off on camera I take the lashes off I start to strip back a little bit and that's only because of Charlotte and Sophie like if I didn't have them they made me realize that it's okay to be yourself and that you you can not look your best in front of boys and it's okay like you still doesn't mean that it doesn't mean anything like you can just be you and they taught me that and I started like not wearing makeup and I was like oh you're so pretty without your eyelashes and you look so much better and they started building my confidence a lot in that series and that series was fine it was three days and I feel like you know what this is actually okay and then I think it wasn't until um when did we do series two a couple of months later and then they were like we've got series two back in the house for six weeks it was the first time I started really finding my voice and sticking up for myself with I'm sorry was that series two or series three this is series two so we had the summer special with a little mini special.

24:55Okay, so it's not a full series. It's not a full series. All right. Hard to find, actually. No one can really find it. It's like the Lost series. And then we went on to do a full series too. Okay. And this is when I started to find my voice to actually stick up for myself, to say the things that I wanted to say without the fear that I was going to not be liked or whatever. And I did actually have a really good series and I started warming to everyone. They started warming to me. And I started to actually build friendships with these people. At its peak in 2016, you were on the show in 2016, Jordy Shore had over 1.2 million regular viewers, which means on Ketchup, et cetera, it becomes much bigger than that.

25:35And what I've noticed about Jordy Shore is that it's one of those brands that everyone knows. Everyone knows it. But now this is a more controversial take. Go on. And I've never heard this ever discussed, but I want to discuss it with you. Let's discuss it then. Is when I got to the UK, so 2018 I got to the UK, the first kind of societal thing, for lack of a better word, that I discovered was class. Yes. Classism here is on another level than classism in the United States. It's another level. That's interesting. And I then became very observant on class. And I noticed even on commercials in the UK where anytime they wanted to present, say, an individual that wasn't as sharp, was a bit aloof, they would have a northern accent.

26:38Northern, of course. If they were smarter, they would have a non-northern. British, Queen's English. Yes, yes, accent. So that was the first kind of my first take. Yeah. Then as time went on, I've noticed that or should I say as time went on, started having conversations with different people. And what I was beginning to hear was that classism really played a strong role in television. Yeah. What's your take on classism, television and Geordie Shore? I completely agree with what you've said and I think we're just so used to it that it just seems completely normal for us to you know hear a northern person it's something that's going to the working class like that northerners are considered working class we have accents that are considered working class which is crazy because you can have all classes in with northern accents but your accent really does kind of give it away a lot of the time and it's kind of you do get judged on it if you listen to my voice in series one to now you will not think that it's the same person really i have worked very especially the middlesbrough accent because again known for being don't offend anyone but it's known for being a bit a bit thick and you know we don't say our words properly and i've had to work really hard to actually speak properly because I would get judged so much for just sounding thick or I'd never want to do TV appearances because I was like oh I just sound really thick and I don't sound how I should and I think as you get older as well you do just want to speak a little bit better and you do you know you're not trying to impress your friends that you're around and things and being a bit chavvy but yeah I completely agree especially with Geordie Shaw like we were tailored to the working class we were tailored to these students who were going out every weekend who were in Newcastle Uni at the time and you know they were looking for that party experience and I think a lot of people related to us so much but I think people from like all backgrounds actually secretly enjoyed it as well yes but it seemed like there was a very distinct difference between Geordie Chelsea and Towie Geordie Shaw you would put on the lower end of the spectrum of like class and then you'd go TOWIE and then you'd go Chelsea.

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29:31Thank you.