Tulisa Exclusive: Why I Left The Jungle! - PART 2

34:32All right. I got you. So you have this, but then right before, I hate to call it right before the cocaine trial. Yeah. That's what it is. Call it what it is. All right. is it Will.i.am gets in touch with you? Yes. And says... And says, can I please take this song and put Britney on it and do it with her and we'll credit you as a writer. To which I say, no. Of course you say no. Of course I say no. I'm like, no, this is my next single. This belongs to me. And that's what I wanted it to be. So then I woke up one day and saw it on television. And had, you know, it was just the trippiest bit was that Britney was in for doing the British accent.

35:17And she was singing like me. And he gets in the club, all eyes on. If you imagine me saying all eyes on us. Everybody in the club, all eyes on us. All eyes on us. And she's doing it and copying it. And it was just like, huh? What's going on? But come on. All right. Now that I know enough about it, I don't think that you were like, all right. But I think you had an issue when you saw that on top. Oh, no. Immediately after, yeah, I was infuriated. I was like, F these mother meep. I'm going to sue their asses to Timbuktu and back. Let's get them. Yeah. We got to take them down. Yes. Immediately. So then there begins another trial.

36:01Oh, yeah. Yeah. I haven't actually been legal case free up until the beginning of 2023 or mid 2023. You've just had cases. Yeah. Case after case after case. Some of them more, you know, less not criminal. Other cases, people suing me for nonsense. And so I've just been in court cases for the past.

36:29So scream and shout. how does that case resolve itself um i win i get paid and you get paid there you go so you win yeah yeah phenomenal track like phenomenal yeah yeah phenomenal yeah yeah and yeah that wasn't the only court case that was happening you had that and then you had what else was happening around that time i was also before the trial suing the slets for stories that they had they did a homewrecker okay that was a big deal for me the homewrecker thing coming up the home what was the whole record i had a partner at the time and his ex-partner basically decided to lie um and said that they were still together and that she was pregnant and that i'd gone in and like spit them up like i literally had i knew that they had an ex-partner who they had a child with but they didn't even exist until this moment and it was pitched like i had gone in and done some crazy stuff to break them up and like was fully aware like i was having this big affair they weren't even together at the time when i met him and so i sued them for that as well but the damage was already done because when they, even I won that case, get a tiny little thing in a newspaper somewhere that just says, oh, we got it wrong.

37:59Look at this. You know, oh, we messed up, we printed false information. Look at this. But the damage has been done. You've got half of the country or the whole country, 16 million people watching X Factor at the time that are reading mothers. You know, oh, Talisa's also a husband's sealer. So all of these things just start. What is she not? What am I not? What is she not? What am I not? I would imagine at this point, and maybe you're not thinking, how can I just be done with show business? How can I just get on to something else? Yeah, and that was when I was like, please, I need something else.

38:37I can't do this anymore. I can't physically do this. And that's when the movie was lined up to come along. Perfect timing. I mean, they knew just when to... Yeah. I mean, they knew exactly. Exactly. They knew exactly. How do you thrive in an environment like that? Because I'm now like, okay, I'm like in the Talisa world, right? You have all of, I mean, someone is after you or an entity is after you. And then on top of that, you're still dealing with your mother. Yeah. You're dealing with the relationship that you're trying to build with your father. You have a career that you're concerned about, rightfully so, because you have press attacking you.

39:22How do you thrive in an environment like that? And I hear faith. I hear you on that. But what else? Or do you need anything else? Well, first of all, I didn't have a relationship with my father at that time. because after I found out about the sting and what happened to me, unfortunately, my father did a sit-down interview with Mazeem Mahmood. So that was the point that I didn't speak to my dad for years afterwards. It took us years to speak again after that. So that was that. So my dad wasn't around. um i i honestly i am one determined little bitch like there's nothing else i can tell you little a little bitch i just have this yeah little fury in me that when i need it and i have to tap into it, I will.

40:24I am not going to be shat on by individuals in ways that I do not deserve. I am not going to let anyone tell me it's over. I say when it's over. And it's over because I want it to be. Oh, I hear it. I hear it. I need to come clean and tell you about the love affair I've been having these last two years. But before you start thinking that I'm disloyal, don't worry. My wife knows everything. Because even Jill can't ignore how truly, madly, deeply in love I am with my new show sponsor, Huel. Hand on my heart, I carry up to three Huel's with me every day. Some might even call me a hardcore Huel drinker.

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42:29Wherever it takes you, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today and see where your next connection might lead. We get to I'm a Celebrity. Yeah. Now, you wanted to break through on, you said, your talents and really tried it. But you did, though. And I think N-Dub's comeback was strong. Yeah. Right, incredibly strong. Yeah. Was the tour sold out in how long? The tour sold out in three minutes, and we sold it out like three to four times over. We did four O2s. Come on now. Yeah. That's strong. Yeah. And highest chart in our first week ever. Come on. Yeah. Okay. So strong. Strong. All right.

43:14So you've come back on that. Mission achieved. Mission achieved, right? I'm a celebrity, keeps knocking. How many years did they knock on the door? Yes, I've lost count. I don't know. I think since I left X-Men. Okay, so they've been knocking. Okay. So why do you decide this is the year to do it? something in me at this point, this is the only point I'd really found my peace, that I was ready to go out and be myself or reveal myself. Because I was so unhealed for so many years. I still had so much trauma, even if I'd gone out and been myself. Sure, I'm sure people might have still been able to relate to me and warn to me, but they would have just seen this girl's traumatized.

44:00I didn't have enough strength. to want to go and do something like that. I was just going to spend a second on that because so many of us are in that zone of we're searching for our strength. We feel traumatized. We feel like we can't go on another day. How did you find your piece?

44:20So look, I'm just going to keep it real. Obviously, sometimes you don't want to draw attention to things that people don't know about. But one thing I've found off the back of coming off of I'm a Celeb that I'm sure about is maybe so much the showbiz world isn't for me in the commercial sense and the tits and teeth yes but authenticity is and if I'm going to be in this industry and remain in it I want to be really authentic and I want to speak words and do things that will make some kind of a difference So I will tell you that running up to I'm a Celeb during lockdown, I unfortunately became dependent on benzopines.

45:07So we're talking Zopiclines and diazepam. Okay. And I'm sure I'm familiar with those. Yeah. I had a backlog of them for flying, for sleeping, issues from the trial, tons of them. I was alone during lockdown and I found out my dog had cancer. I got very depressed and I began self-medicating. Now, as lockdown finished, for me, it was time to get back to reality. I was like, I can't numb myself every day and this anxiety. I can't get to sleep with a sleeper every night. I can't have a Dizepam when it hits 9 p.m. to calm me down. So it's time to stop. But by this point, what I hadn't realized was when you're taking something every day to kind of knock yourself out, you don't realize.

45:59If I skip two days because I'm like, I don't want to take it every day, but I skip two days and I start feeling anxiety and withdrawals because I was dependent without realizing. So now I think I've gone crazy. So now I'm like, I don't even know I've got a benzopine dependency. I just think I'm losing the plot so now I'm having to keep taking the benzos because I think I'm really self-medicating because now it was the first time in my life I thought oh my god I'm mentally ill like as in like my mother I have what my mum has because I was cracking up with the withdrawals anyway I came to the point where I was like enough is enough I don't care how bad it feels when I don't take it I'm going to stop taking it so I just went cold turkey for like five days and I ended up in hospital because I didn't know but my body had become dependent on it.

46:49It felt like I was having a heart attack. I had pains in my chest. Obviously your body can have convulsions, muscle spasms. So what was happening was my heart was spasming, so to speak. It was clenching and it was this constant feeling of my chest closing up. I just literally felt like I was going to die. I remember waking up one morning, I had a dream that I was in a stadium and I was in the middle of this stadium and it was empty and a lightning bolt came and hit the ground. And you can imagine the ricocheted of a lightning bolt in an empty stadium. Yes. And it was hitting the ground going kapow, kapow.

47:21And I could feel it through my whole body. I woke up. That was my heartbeat. Wow. This is how my mind was translating what I was experiencing. I see it. Thank God, eventually something clicked in me. I said, what am I doing different? There must be something going on. I can't be sat here feeling like I'm dying. And I'm going to the hospital and they're like, oh she suffers from anxiety we've got a list of her coming in for anxiety taxi it's just she's just anxious um and luckily eventually i clocked i was like the benzos i stopped the benzos so i found um a psych you've got two choices you'd go to what basically is essentially a rehab where they're going to take you off and it will take like whatever two months three months and I said I can't do that look at my history with the drugs charge everyone's going to say that I'm in there because of cocaine right so I was like I can't I can't do that yeah and he's like your only other option is a slow very slow taper and because of the dose I was on it was going to take me over a year to two years to come off of it so I basically running up to just January gone this year is when I finally came off every 2024 it took me two years to slowly taper and I would only stop my tapering when I was doing the tour when I had television interviews um I spent the past two years in withdrawal and of course stuck in my house with agoraphobia at the same time when I was having it so this is once I overcame that in January I didn't realize how much I had been affected by it and I started to feel alive again I started to feel me as a human I was like oh my god this is reality I did I couldn't tell determine anymore like what what was real and what wasn't in terms of my anxiety my depression and then after doing that And that hell of that two years, I was like, I can do anything.

49:31And this fear I have of being in the public eye and doing something that I have done all my life and that other people have taken away from me and created this trauma. I am going to go in balls deep at the deep end because I've never been so capable of doing it. And I'm just going to dive. And at the same time, I'm going to speak my truth and I'm going to show everyone who I am. I'm not having any more misconceptions of my character. You can say what you want, think what you want, but you base it on the truth now. Because I'm not going to sit here underneath all these narratives and these lies and this nonsense.

50:08I don't want to hide anymore. And I went and I did it. You did. I did. I understand why. Yeah. I understand why. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah.

50:26I continue to go back to you never know what someone is going through, what someone is dealing with. And there are layers in terms of what you have been dealing with, what you've been managing, which I believe many people could not. I hear that. But then you don't know how strong you are until you find out. You don't have a choice anymore. You just have to do it. But that was one of the toughest experiences actually in my life. Like I thought some of the other stuff was bad, but that consistent feeling, the withdrawal feeling, the feeling of waking up every day, feeling great depression, sometimes feeling like you want to go and jump off a balcony, but having to tell yourself, oh, it's just withdrawals.

51:12It's just withdrawals. So you have to just keep sticking out of this and then wait till real life hits again. And in my darkest moments, I'd just be like, just wait till this is over before you make any decisions about how you feel about. Did you have people that you told about? I had a psych that I would go to to talk about the tapering. So it was quite simple. Like I would just sit down and say, how are you feeling this week? You know what, Talisa, what I find so interesting about this, this is the rubble in you. Yeah. Is that you could have gone to rehab. Yeah. And been off of it. Gone. two for two months two two months gone yeah and not dealt with yeah the pain yeah that you had to deal with yeah but you dealing with that pain was you saying like screw you to the public like yeah you're not gonna have that over me exactly to the press like yeah this you don't get this is mine yeah yeah and i never have what i can do but i never want to talk about things until they're done until I've like I've done it yeah so that's the only reason I can talk about it now because it's done because it's done yeah yeah so now it's like now I can hold my head up and now I can say well this was the possibilities this was what was happening this is what I chose to do yes one of the hardest two years of my life but here I am here you are bitches here you are here once again That was not a little thing.

52:38That was a big thing. Yeah. That was a big thing. Yeah. So you get through this big thing, and you are now ready. You are ready to be as authentic as you. This is you. Yeah. This is the true you. So I'm a celebrity. Yeah. I can see why this is a good choice. Yeah. It's a massive show. Yeah. And, you know, there was interest in everyone, but let's face it, there was a lot of interest in you. Yeah. Okay. A lot of interest. Some right reasons, some wrong. Yeah. And I would imagine some people are like, okay, I want to see the disaster show up. Yeah. And others were curious about who was going to show up.

53:15And then you had fans and supporters. Yeah. So what was that experience like for you? Absolute rollercoaster. I couldn't put it in one word because some days it felt like one thing. Other days it felt like something else. Running up to it, even though I said, right, I'm going to do it, I was terrified. Like I was going to back out the week before. Oh, wow. Yeah. Like I was sat on the phone to my manager and I don't think I can do this. I really felt like I wanted to, but I still had those weak moments where I was just terrified. What was terrifying for you? Being in the spotlight, being exposed, the fear of the people that have tried to set me up so many times.

53:55I'm going to draw attention to myself again. I might put myself in danger.

54:04feeling of like when i'm exposed and i'm in the public eye too much to that extent someone's gonna try and tear me down it's gonna go bad okay yeah okay reasonable yeah given what's happened in your life yeah so you're there right and for what everyone says you know all the reports but who knows but all the reports is like you were in there handling your business yeah i mean i was in in a lot of moments handling my business some of the things you didn't see though was i had night terrors for the first four days i was waking up out of my sleep and i was having anxiety attacks those parts not everyone knows so it wasn't completely smooth sailing for me at all um but i have a great poker face i really can turn it on and especially when i'm faced with adversity and the last thing i wanted to do was go in there and you know be the hot mess so if anything I'm going to be the biggest soldier there is so as soon as I'm set with a task you know and I'm going in and I'm jumping out of plane I'm going to look like a warrior because that is what I do I might sit and cry under the sleeping bag that's also a part of who I am did you I mean I did cry in the BT at one point but I definitely had an anxiety attack off camera because I went to the smoking area to do it and even then I didn't want them to know that I was having an anxiety attack So I was trying to bring down my heart rate literally through my nose while I was like, okay, get the heart rate down, get the heart rate down.

55:35So I wanted to leave that day. I was like, I can't do this. But it's not what I came here for. I came here to stick it out and do whatever I had to do. And there were lots of amazing moments, really joyful moments, thanks to the people. It was the people that made those moments so easy. They loved you. They loved you. And I love them and their comedy and their fun, the way they would just uplift you. Very empathetic people really checked in on me. They saw at times I was having a little bit of a struggle. I was also a massive introvert. I am a massive introvert, but I was really getting a little bit overwhelmed in there.

56:15So I was probably the least around in camp. I would go and remove myself and go for walks or go and hide in the dunny. I spend 90 % of my time alone the agoraphobia I was telling you off the back of the benzopines and being alone for so long I got super overwhelmed being around so many people and they could see that and they were really understanding about that you know they had jokes like she's gone to the Airbnb that's it she's just and she'll be back you know and they haven't seen me so they're like what are you doing I'm like bro I've just been staring at a palm tree like I just needed that time away I needed a minute.

56:56And when I came out, I think actually the biggest thing for me that took me over the edge was introvert overload. Explain. too much i had pushed myself into doing this and i was ready to overcome all the fears and being in the spotlight but being watched consistently so many hours a day nowhere to hide nowhere to run feeling so exposed everyone can see me and also this underlying fear probably irrational of being watched yes by millions you but being watched from the mamood thing feeling under the under surveillance it has it's like a subconscious thing in there i don't like being watched which they say don't go on there then because you know what you're getting into but part of this was no i'm going to go on i'm going to face all these crazy ass irrational fears right right like that was part of the plan i know i was going to go on there i feel super uncomfortable i was terrified but I wanted to push myself through that uncomfort so I could come out and feel over it.

58:02Yes. And in many ways, I do. I'm like, I did it. You did. I did it. But when I came out, I began to cry when I had my first moment to myself. And the first thing I did when I spoke to the team, they were like, what's wrong? And I said, please don't put me back on camera. I need to be off now too much. I push myself to, I'm really proud of myself, but I push myself too far, too soon. I need to go home.

58:38And they allowed you to go. They've been really good, really good with me. This makes sense because I think the big question was, where's Talisa? Where did she go? Why did she go? But you've just given the answer. Yeah. it's too much it's too much too soon listen i did it i handed it i feel like i did what i signed up for but i came out i processed i was feeling the way i was feeling there's 11 other really happy campers there that are really happy to be there happy to have the holiday and you know do it all with energy with smiles and you have someone that sat crying in their hotel room in this current age that we live in it's like you want me to be there out of principle when i'm having a breakdown right right now i need to go home and process this it's other people are not having the same experience as me they haven't had the same experiences in the past and they're all current people that are doing radios or they're on television this is the very much the norm for them this for me was a psychological experiment right myself right this this is a very important point because you did this primarily for you yeah so the moment that the experiment ends you now are complete yeah you don't feel like you owe anyone no anything exactly that and i'm not trying to get anything more out of it in terms of you know in tv exposure yeah so i guess in a way I'm blessed to be that person that can say, if my mind isn't feeling healthy after everything that I have been through in this life, I am going to take care of myself.

1:00:20And right now I am done. I'm not going to push myself anymore over any edges. I have been over enough edges in my life. Yes. I need to take care of myself. Yes. Yes. I need to protect me because no one else is going to do it. Absolutely. I mean, there's a lot of recurring themes throughout your life. But this is one where you said, I need to look out for me. Yeah. And my mental health. Yeah. So you went home. Yeah. In your solace. Yeah. In your space of safe. Yeah. With your dogs. Phone off with my dog. Oh, your dog. Okay, dog. Yeah, with my dog. Phone off. They're not here yet. They're in training.

1:00:58Ah, okay. So phone off. Yeah. And just. And I stared at the wall, I think, for the first 24 hours. in the bed covers just thinking processing phone off and then i put the lord of the rings trilogy on did you because i'm a nerd and escapism is my thing when i'm feeling overwhelmed and i just i sat in bed for four days phone detox social media detox um and the people that know me really well know that what i'm like and they're like it's okay just just leave and they were having to speak to other people because everyone's like we can't get hold of her she's gone off the radar is she okay and my friends that obviously are closest to me my inner circle like she's good she's recharging she's she's on the recharge she's okay talisa i can't tell you i think the almost the entirety of the uk was was wondering yeah where is she gone yeah why is she not at the reunion yeah what like what's happened to her yeah why she deleted her there was a story about you and i don't know i I mean, you set the record straight on all these, that you had deleted photographs.

1:02:06I did delete everything. Oh, you did delete everything. Yeah, I came out, and the same night that I was having a cry, and I was just completely like, I'm not going back on camera. Like, I can't do this anymore. And I was even looking through my socials, just trying to have, like, a casual scroll to get away from things. And it was just all me, me, and comments and comments. And I'm just in flip-out mode, and I was like, just archive it. I just want it all gone. I don't want to think about it right now. I need to go home and process what has just happened. Okay. This makes sense. Yeah. This makes sense.

1:02:39Do you feel like you've processed it all? I wouldn't say 100%, but I would say I'm at like 70 % right now. Okay. It was very much about getting over fears. And I was thinking, oh, I've been traumatized by all this stuff that's happened to me. and now I can't even step in front of a TV screen because I'm so freaked out by it. But then I go and I do it and now I'm like, I don't know if I'm scared. I think this is just the person I've become and it's not a bad thing to have evolved and become someone different from who I was before. And it's okay if I'm an introvert. It's okay if I don't want to do...

1:03:24Ta-da! Yeah, yeah. It's okay. And if I feel like for me to be in the public eye, I need to do things that are extremely, you know, I'm not saying that the show is not authentic. What I'm saying is things a bit more hard hitting, things like this. Yes. This is why I'm coming here today and just keeping it 100 % real, sharing those stories. Yes. That's when it will feel right for me. If I can be in the public eye and it's about that, then I can do it. Yeah. You know, I will say that I've saw many clips of you throughout I'm a Celebrity. Yeah. And I've seen countless videos. I've seen countless other.

1:04:12But you do present in this moment, in this conversation differently. Yeah. Did you feel that? Yeah. And do you think it speaks to because this is you? Yeah. I mean, there was a lot of me in there that is me because I let my guard down a lot. So you kind of might have seen goofy tea. Yes. The time you would have seen the third face is when there's like challenges or there's, you know, a trial. Then I'm in. Ta-da. But then the times when I'm just chilling around camp, that's me. I can be a quiet individual. I can be a very goofy individual. I'm a little bit of a nerd. Yeah. Introspective. Yeah. You know, you talked about demisexuality.

1:04:52Yeah. And your celibacy. Yeah. I mean, so can we talk about that for a second? Yes, we can talk about it. Because when you talked about demisexuality, it was a very interesting topic for the We Need to Talk podcast. Okay. It was perfect promo, by the way. Cool. Because we had just had guests Tony Tone and Taiwo on. Okay. A couple, and they were talking, and Tony Tone was talking about how she is demisexual. Okay. And then Lisa was like, I'm demisexual. Right. And so you helped the algorithms out first. Okay. All right. Okay. No problem. no problem though i can say like i don't really box myself off as anything but i do a lot of research so i came across the term demisexual and for me i like to use things as references for people so if i'm trying to describe myself as a character i might say to someone well i'm a little bit demisexual aka go look this up yes this is a way that describes how i am but i don't walk around kind of going i'm anything i'm just me but there's a term out there that can describe how i am yes the same way i say to people well i'm an infj byers briggs yeah go and look it up because then so many different aspects of my character especially the introverted extrovert side people be like you can't be an introvert and i'm like go look it up yes yes so it's more of a kind of reference but yes some people which i'm more than happy for them to do so would deem me to be demisexual demisexual falls on the scale of allosexual to asexual yeah and sometimes it's called the asexual spectrum or allosexual asexual spectrum and you know asexual is i i will not be physically i've had periods of being asexual in my life so yeah periods interesting yeah so then And there's allosexual, which is I'll always be physically attracted no matter what.

1:06:47I need nothing. And then there are many moments in between parts of the spectrum, right? There's what's called graysexual. Graysexual is conditional. The circumstance has to be right. Okay, interesting. Some people say I am sapiosexual. I'm going to say sapiosexual, so I've been told that I'm a little sapiosexual as well. Very much attracted to intelligence. Intelligence, right. And then you have demisexual, meaning that there needs to be a deep emotional connection in order for you to have physical attraction. So do you feel like you have landed in that zone where you need to have a deep emotional attraction before there's any physical attraction?

1:07:27I can look at someone and be like, oh, they're pretty. Oh, they're so cute. They've got a cute face. They're aesthetically pleasing to the eye. I get why everyone fancies them. I don't get any tingles. There's no, I don't think about sex. So I can look at someone and be like, oh, you're beautiful, like stunning. And then someone might deem that to be, well, that's attraction. But for me, attraction is I have to be able to imagine myself kissing that person or I have to want to kiss them or I have to want to be any kind of physical with them. And I can look at someone and go, oh, you are gorgeous, but nothing is going on down there.

1:08:07It's just like a work of art. Yes. Like, oh, wow, you're so pretty. There you go. I think you just perfectly described the difference between physical attraction and sexual attraction. Right. So there's no, I can have, I guess you could say then, oh, I love a light bulb moment. I can have physical attraction, but I don't have any sexual attraction until the emotional bond is formed. This is what, this is what. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. That would be demisexual. Get it. That would be demisexual. Yeah. So then demisexual, but also you're celibate.

1:08:47Yeah. Okay. For how many years? Three, over three. Three years and four months. But who's counting? At 55 seconds. At 55 seconds. Okay. Jesus. So what's the reason? I haven't met someone. Well, I haven't got to the point where I'm like, this is it. I'm trying to find, it's hard to word things without giving away too much about your own current love life. Okay. When I just think of it over the three years I haven't got to a point where I'm like I'm ready to enter into my next relationship Everything is right I'm totally comfortable with doing this I can't wait to do this Let's go I just haven't got to To that zone yet Yeah But you've dated Yes Alright I'm sure many people slid into your DMs Yes I'm not really a DM person and that people don't really get.

1:09:56I'm a bit old school. Okay, you want someone to... I like really old school. Someone's slipping in my DMs saying, hey, they just won't get a response. They'd have to write a whole... Probably send me a poem. They'd have to be like, I've watched you and I watched this interview that you did about this subject and it was really interesting to me. I thought we'd have a lot in common. I think you're a great individual and I found this fascinating. I would need a whole paragraph for me to go... Maybe. Maybe. That's the demisexual in you as well. Yeah, so DMs don't really hit with me. Yeah. So are you single?

1:10:31Yes. Okay. Yeah. Would you like to be in a committed relationship?

1:10:40Under the right circumstances with the right person. I don't want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. That is a seeking energy. I don't want to be in a seeking energy. I like to live day to day, believing I have everything I need. I am abundant and everything else is just a cherry on the cake. Do you believe in love?

1:11:06I think, like the worst person to ask this question. I think love is all about perception. Everyone perceives love differently. and I think one person's perception of love wouldn't be the same as my perception of love okay there is love that is like feeling in love where you meet someone and you really like them and you feel those infatuation feelings which is technically just like the body's addiction response the same way it does with nicotine it gets addicted to the feeling that you're experiencing around that person and it makes you believe you know makes you have the sensation of falling in love yes so that isn't really real to me that is a chemical reaction okay love you are a nerd by the way i am oh you don't even know nobody knows trust me i'm gonna start sharing it i'm gonna start showing people um and then there is love which for me is real love which is time and loyalty that is shown over a long, long period.

1:12:11It's turning up for someone, choosing someone every day. That, for me, is love. Is love. And that, you believe, is possible? Yes, 100%. Okay. And I have it in a lot of friendships. And I've had it even in romantic connections that maybe haven't necessarily crossed the line. But, you know, there are people in my life that I look at like family in a sense because I've known them for such a long time. That are there. All right. So you'll appreciate the nerdy reference here. There's a researcher named Robert Sternberg. And he created a theory called the triangular theory of love in the 1980s. And he looked at different ways that love can be presented because there's the love of friend, right?

1:12:57Which he says is, he said it exactly how you said it. It's trust. Yeah. And it's having this level of emotional intimacy. Yeah. That is a best friend. Yeah. Right, that you'll have for life. That's love. Yeah. But what he calls consummate love, which is romantic love, is you have trust. Yeah. You have emotional intimacy. And the last piece, the third piece of that triangle is? Oh, you asked? Physical. Okay, right. Oh, yeah. Attraction. Right. Oh, yeah. Don't ask me. You got no chance for that one, Paul. You're going to be like I was going to guess. That's the last of my list. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah.

1:13:34I forgot about that. Physical. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's physical attraction. So there being attraction. So if you have that attraction and you have the emotional intimacy and you have trust, that is as important. And then it progresses and you get to over five years of it. Then you're like, damn, this is love. This is love. And you turn up for each other every day. Yes. And you manage to keep stuff good 80 % of the time and you work through the other 20%. Yes. That's love. Yes, yes. That is love. Yeah, 100%. and you know it's funny because even though I've been open about the fact that I'm demisexual one of the things that are super important to me now in my love life if I'm going to enter into a relationship is physical attraction because I'm have such a lack of interest in it I've had a lot of relationships over the years that are so not based on attraction that what happens is when you get over the honeymoon period of the conversations and the friendship there's nothing left afterwards and i've ended up actually hurting people because i've based it too much on friendship and there isn't enough there and i've realized i need physical attraction and i deserve that too and i need to start prioritizing that yes on my list So you can't have a great and the best relationship you can have without that Because you need to have all areas covered Without the physical Without the physical, without, you know, good sex Yeah, but I will say, I mean, this is There has to be an attraction there, otherwise you're just friends There has to be an attraction there, but you know what makes for the best sex life?

1:15:17It's the greatest friendship It's the greatest emotional intimacy Yeah, 100%, no, 100 % Yeah, what I'm saying is I need that too I can't write off, you know, the sex life. I can't write it off. It needs to be a part of all these other amazing things that I would be looking to build. And I need to prioritize it. And lifestyle is my other big thing. Lifestyle? Lifestyle. Yeah, tell me about lifestyle. Lifestyle compatibility is, for me, key. Lifestyle compatibility. It's like a non-negotiable thing. Yeah. You know, I can't deny any of that. I always look for pushback. I'm like, how can I push back on this?

1:15:57I can't deny it. I think that you've thought this out well. Yeah, I'm a big thing. Yeah. And so now it's just the people approaching you. Yes. This is the key. This is the key. All right. God bless their song. I was going to say, oh, my God, I can't imagine. God bless them. The hoops they have to. Oh, it's a circus. Yeah. It's a circus. It's a lot. I would imagine, too, for you to have trust in someone, it's going to require a lot for them. But this is, you know, so beyond I'm a celebrity, I've heard you talk about real estate. Oh, yeah. And doing something that I think a lot of people would say is obscure, but it's not obscure to you.

1:16:44It's actually not obscure. Building my fantasy land. Can I say this? It's not obscure. I'm going to build a fantasy land. I'm so used to people in my life saying, that's frigging crazy. And me going, yeah, watch this. I'm going to build a fantasy land. So you're going to build a fantasy land. I'm going to build my themed rentals. I'm also going to throw some stargazing domes in there and some fishing lakes. It's very nature reserved orientated. Okay. And it's a big moneymaker. Excuse me. Go and look at, not saying this to you, I'm saying to anyone out there that's like, that's crazy. Go and do your research.

1:17:26Do you want to spend two years building some stuff that you're going to rent out at the average rate? This is going to go for four times the amount. So it's not just me being extremely passionate, but also business headed. I get to live out my passions and make four times the amount of money off the back a bit. Why not? Why not? So fantasy themes. Not obscure in that respect. There is. And this is you being you. Yeah. You know, you are tapping into. Yeah. You love. Escapism. Escapism. That's one of the things that I've adored since being a child. That was one of my escapes. Fantasy movies. My favorite movie growing up was The Labyrinth with David Bowie and The Dark Crystal.

1:18:05Yes. And that's what I used to watch on repeat. I was just a fantasy nerd. My favorite book was Brogan the Stoop, which is pretty much like a labyrinth type. So we have Fantasyland is going to be created. War Authenticity. Yeah. Anything else coming for you? The book that I told you about that I wrote. This novel. Yeah. It's a novel. Yeah, it's actually a novel. Okay. Written in first person, narrated. This is without question that's going to film. That will be an option. Because everyone that's read it is like, this has to be turned into a film. This is crazy. Yeah, that's wild. So for me, there's that.

1:18:47And then I'm like, whatever. I'll get in the studio of N-Dubs at the end of the year. Do another N-Dubs round. But other than that, I'm in that peaceful era of just, do I feel passionate about it? All right, I'll do it. Yes. Do I not? I'm staying at home. That I will do it. I love it. I love it. I love it. we have talked about so many things. So many things. So many things. I think we've been talking for five hours. Literally, literally. A long, interesting life. So even sometimes I forget after stuff. It's like, oh, you know, you're incredibly young. And you've lived multiple lives, I think, within that.

1:19:22And I'm so excited for the future. I'm incredibly excited for the future. Thank you. Can I just say that conversation with Talisa was unforgettable. Some of the lessons that she shared will be teaching points that I will take with me for the rest of my life, and I hope you do as well. But let me right now just break out the standout moments that I want us to walk away with. Resilience isn't always about staying strong. It's about stepping up when life demands it, even when you feel like running away. Talisa's childhood was shaped by caring for her mother through mental illness, yet she felt trapped.

1:20:03suffocated, and rebellious. This duality reminds us that resilience can look messy. It's not linear or perfect. Sometimes, surviving means navigating the push and pull between showing up for others and wanting to escape. But even in rebellion, resilience quietly takes root, shaping us into someone who, despite it all, keeps going. It's not about being unbreakable, but refusing to stay broken. Talisa reflects a truth many overlook and that is sometimes you have to be your own toughest coach. Life can be unforgiving but growth comes when you remind yourself that you are the biggest beast in every room.

1:20:47No challenge is bigger than your capacity to survive. Tough love doesn't mean you lack compassion. It means you believe in your power to get through the worst. So as you step into the next year, don't wait for life to soften. Be the weapon, the warrior, the one who stands firm and says, I will not just get through this. I will get through this and then I will thrive. And the last one is on the importance of embracing your story, no matter how messy, painful, or unconventional. It's not a burden. It's your power. Talisa shares how her uncle's words transformed her pain into purpose, teaching her to own the parts of herself that felt different or crazy.

1:21:31By embracing your story, you stop running from what shaped you and start recognizing it is at the foundation of your strength. The truth is, it's not always your talent or achievements that connect you to others. It's your lived experience, your survival, and your courage to share it. Your story isn't what broke you It's what will inspire others to rise So own it, let it be That's where the magic begins And that's it As always, thanks for watching And I can't wait to see you next time And just remember Around 9 in 10 of you watching these videos Aren't subscribed yet Now no pressure at all But if you're enjoying the content Subscribing is a super simple way To stay connected with us And it also helps a ton when growing the channel.

1:22:19We also look at every comment, so make sure you comment with your guest ideas below and we'll get your favorite guest on our future episodes.