Who Is The Real Dami Hope?

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0:30Welcome to We're Talking. In this episode, I sit down with Love Island's Dami Hope to talk about his Nigerian roots, growing up in Ireland, and the moments that shaped his identity.

0:55So I think in order to get to know who you are, let's go to the roots. The roots. The roots. And I feel like the roots are Nigeria. The roots are Nigeria. And it's something I'm proud of. Like, I'm proud of being Nigerian. I'm proud of, like, you know, my family. I'm proud of what my family did to, you know, try to give us a better life. Because my dad was a dreamer. He's the reason why we probably migrated to Ireland. Yes. And, like, just as a kid, I can remember, like, you know, flashes of, like, me getting to this point where we're in Ireland. Obviously, probably not legally or whatever way, because, you know, we're very clever people.

1:42Very clever. Very clever people. So it's like, obviously, there's a plan in place to how to, like, you know, to make sure we're able to stay here. and I feel like back in them days was a bit easier as opposed to now. Because this is the 90s. Yeah, I was born in 96. I think I was in Nigeria until maybe I was about three years old. And from there, I remember me and my little sister, she was two years after me. So it was just me and her, and then it was me and my mom, and then my dad, and then he'd bring us over to Ireland. And I remember, I think at first we used to like, we used to live in a hostel with like a bunch of like loads of different people because obviously when you come to this place, it's like you're trying to find a place for your, you know, for your family and for yourself.

2:27And I remember like little flashes of just like, it's just like, as a kid, you can remember just little dots of moments of like, oh, I'm in this hostel. I can see my mom playing chess with, you know, people that she's just making friends with in this situation. And I know everybody was against him doing this. because I remember my grandmother told me, because my mom's from my grandmother's side, and she told me, she was like, we don't have to, you know, to go and do all these things. But obviously he wanted to make something out of himself for the family. I remember this memory of like my dad, I was sitting on my dad's lap, and then he has a car and he's like, I'm sitting on the lap and like my hands are holding it, but he's there.

3:08And I'm only like, I think at this point, I'm only even just five years old, but it's a very vivid and clear imagery I have of him. and then I remember alongside that we finally got like I think an estate house. Okay. So now we actually got like a place and it was like maybe three bedrooms. It was like our first home there and you know we're shifting from one house to another house. It's just me and my sister until obviously you know they start adding you know the new members now. That's the clever that's the clever part for like why we're going to be able to stay here or whatever you know. Yes.

3:40So they start adding them and then you know. Can we expand on that? Because I get what you're saying. You get what I'm saying. But if you could paint the picture, because I don't think your family's going to get in trouble, because almost everybody was doing that. So it was you and your sister. It was me and my sister first. We were Nigerian. We came from Nigeria. And then I think we had my younger brother, and he was now Irish. Now he was born in Ireland. And then every other sibling we had after that, me and my sister don't have any Irish or English names. But those lot, they got the names. So like he got David, they got Cynthia, they got Amanda.

4:16Me, it's just Femi and Dami. You know what I mean? It's just straight Nigerians. But the ones that came with the Irish passport, they got the Irish names. They got the names too. You get me? Yeah, definitely. So with you coming in, I wanted to, I looked at that period of the late 1990s, early 2000s in Ireland. One, because I'm just fascinated about Ireland. But secondly, because you were coming. And I saw that that period was called the Celtic Tiger, where Ireland traditionally had these very high rates of unemployment. But then during that period, everything took off. The economy took off. And there was this great demand for service workers, so much so that the population within Ireland couldn't maintain it.

5:06So I think that was your father being clever, smart, saying, this is a great opportunity for me. So he selected Ireland. What was it that your father and mother were doing for work? You remember? So my mother has always been, like, in care. So she's always studied care. She's always done care. like my dad, I say he's a man of all trades. So strong, you say strong family unit. Yeah, very, very strong family unit. Cause there'll be times where it's like, my dad would probably have to relocate from, we live in Wexford, he'd have to relocate to Dublin for the forever job he has to do. And we probably wouldn't, and he'd have to get a place over there, so we probably wouldn't even see him now.

5:46I feel like it was a lot of hard work, whatever they were doing at that age. But you know, when you're young, I'm just seeing that I wanna play outside. I just want to, you know, make friends and stuff. But then when you look back at it, it's like they've done a lot for us. Like, you know, they've done a lot for me, my siblings and like just like and there's a lot of happy memories in it because, you know, some people, the situation could be like horrible, but I don't remember it as being horrible. I remember still being like a happy, you know, youthful kid that got to play outside. They still got like bicycles whenever, you know, I mean, they still got all these little things that, you know you see you'll see other kids get like in your neighborhood and like i'm enrolled in school now and you know school is school is amazing you're making more friends and you're now you're now part of like a system yes you know i mean like you're actually inside the system i'm enrolled in school i'm doing all these things you know so it's like now i'm part of ireland interesting you got me i i get what you mean but but you know it's interesting to me because is you are Nigerian, but at a very young age, you're in Ireland.

6:52So there's a cultural difference. There's also a racial difference. Because I was looking at the stats too, is in that time, and even now, less than 1 % of Ireland is black. So you are distinctly different, but how you describe it, you felt like you were fully accepted and brought into the community. Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash.

7:33No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility. That's freedom to be. Use as directed. Yeah, and there was at that time I can say there wasn't actually many black people that lived in in our town So it was very kind of like just very like unique and happy that you know People are actually accepting of that at that point It wasn't racism because I was the kid that I could jump higher than everybody else I could I could run faster than everybody else So it's like I was using all these talents that comes with me probably being you know from my ethnicity to kind of show off.

8:13So then it's like people look at that and then they kind of like, they kind of like pull you closer when you can do all these things. It's not like, oh, it's like I'm a monkey dancing for people. It's just like I'm using these things that I know will kind of give me more a piece to people. Even at an early age to like, you know, but then the only thing I'll say is like, I feel like even at early age it's just when it comes to like, you know, a teacher saying your name or, you know, mispronouncing it. And then that's when it starts becoming, and oh yeah, I remember now I'm still kind of different.

8:43Yeah, because you do the roll call and it's like I'm doing all these things, yeah, I'm accepted, but then the roll call and then she's trying to say my name, but she's butchering it. She's not saying it. She's not saying it the way she's saying James and Henry and Samantha. She's saying, it's like, I did da-da-da, and it's very, and then you just remember that, oh, okay. Is that when you change? Because you go by Demi. Yeah, I go by Dami. And I feel like a big part of the reason for it is like, even though I was young, it was still something that kind of stuck with me all the way from primary school to like secondary school.

9:18Because my full name is Ade Damola, Omobolaji. And then like, I feel like when teachers go to the Omobolaji part, it would be like, they would kind of say apology. And then it would be like this little smirk, like, you know, as kids, we make jokes and we tease each other and stuff like this. and it's like it's funny yeah but then at the same time it's like it's not that hard to say and it's like it can't really keep being like this every day and then now the kids have and you're joking like oh apology you know what I mean but I'm not I'm not an apology I'm I'm not sorry you know I mean there's nothing so but it's a thing that like it kind of sticks and then as obviously I got older and you know even in in secondary school it's like now at this point now I'm more of an, I'm a teenager.

10:00I'm closer to an adult. So when it's still happening, it's like, yeah, it's not like I'm changing for anyone else, but it's more like, you know, you can just call me Dammy. Just call me Dammy. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Like there's some people that actually did try and they'll pronounce it well, or they're fascinated by the name, or they'd be like, oh my God, how do you say it? You teach them and they get it, but there's some people never really cared to, you know, ask how to say it, and they'll just keep switching it a different day, remixing it a different day, and then, you know. Yes. You know, we had Big Zoo on.

10:31Yeah, Big Zoo, okay, yes. Who I love, right? But his name is Zahair. Zahair, yes, yes. Right, and I was asking him about this. He said his mom, his mom calls him that, right? Yes, yes. Exactly, only his mom calls it. And I was asking him, how does he feel knowing that his name, he's had to anglicize his name in order for other people to be more comfortable. And he felt uncomfortable initially. So he has to put himself in a place of discomfort to make others feel comfortable. I feel like this is what often happens when we're anglicizing names. But now I get it because we're trying to fit into a culture.

11:17What do you believe was the lowest moment for you? I don't know how this period started, but like, you know, men, boys, they always take the piss. And there was one day in class, I think one of the guys that like, it was like I was getting ganged up on, like, you know, everybody was like dropping jokes on me. And they were making like small, like passable racist remarks that like even the teacher was still writing on the board. And this all, you can hear all this stuff that's going on, but you're not turning around, you're not doing anything. And everyone's making all these like black jokes. You know what I mean?

11:49All these like, your dad's disappeared, even though my dad's still in my life. All these like, compare me to chocolate bars and all these, you know, all these just like quick, quick snickering insults. And every time I make a joke, cause you know, I'm the only black person here now and it's a class full of maybe 14, 15 white boys. So it's silence. And we're in a SPHE class, which is all about social and all this stuff. And it's like, this is the type of class where you should actually be saying these things aren't actually allowed, but nothing's actually happening. And I must have said, like, I think then I must have hit this guy with a joke that, like, everybody just turned around and they were like, what?

12:27How could you say that? This, the, and the other. I was like, I have not said anything, like, as bad as whatever you guys have said, right? But I was apologetic for my joke. So I come out now and I think this is where everything changed. This is the moment where everything changed now. Interesting. Because it was like, it was a way where it's like, I come out now, everybody's angry with me and my joke, even though everybody's been laughing, even the teacher now finally turned around. Do you know what I mean? Oh, to say that what you said was unacceptable. Yeah, damn it, get out. And I said, what?

13:00So I'm outside now taking a little breather. I maybe settled into myself that like, oh, maybe what I actually said was too far. Cool. I'm hearing now like everybody's like angry and they come out, they're saying they want to fight me. I didn't want to fight anyone. And I said, like, it doesn't actually have to go to this. And I remember we're inside this, like, secondary PE room. Yes. And, like, no one's there. It's all, like, closed up, boxed off. It's, like, shower room or whatever. Right. And I remember I was, like, everyone just formed around. And I was, like, oh. Like, you know, still trying to plead my way out of this because, like, I actually don't want to fight.

13:36You know what I mean? But I said I don't want to hit you either, though, because if it's a thing where it's, like, okay, I deserve these hits because of what I said, I'll take it. and then guy kept hitting me, kept punching me, but I was still standing and he was getting more upset because I wasn't punching back. And he was saying, I need to fight back. But I just kept letting it hit me. And I feel like it wasn't enough though, because I've taken the hits now and everyone's gone home. But then the next day, because I didn't fight back, it now needs to turn into a whole fiasco of like, we need to go again.

14:06Wow. And I'm like, brother, like we've already like squashed this. Like, you know what I mean? this should be enough now for us to like you know carry on like whatever way it is that we're going to carry on just carry on but at this point now I've already said no but if you're going to do it again I'm going to punch you back because I've taken my hits and at this point I'm ready like I'm readying myself now because it's like I can't let people think that I'm someone that you're going to keep like doing this to I've given you the first one so the next one obviously I've beaten them up it's very quick very fast but then now they're angry with it because now I've beaten them up so then it becomes a whole it becomes a whole thing of like different people from different points of the school people that are even expelled they're not even in the school like everybody now wants a piece of me to that I mean everybody now wants a piece of this black guy that doesn't seem to fall down when you hit him and I remember some guy went on Facebook at the time and obviously on Facebook everybody can see what everyone's saying and he was like oh this chocolate bar is going to get it tomorrow or this kick out whatever blah blah blah and I'm seeing over like what 200 likes and these are all from it's from the school and at this point you're not I'm not telling my parents about this like there's no one I can really like go to my siblings are young it's just me and you go to the teachers the thing is no one can snitch you're not it's it's It's like, you just can't tell.

15:33You can't snitch at this, you know what I mean? It just became a whole uproar. Like all the other schools now are hearing about this. Even my old school, all my other friends, that I'm not with anymore, they're all hearing about this, the girls' school. It's like, I didn't come to this school to fight, do you know what I mean? But it's like, it gets to a point. And I remember the last fight that I actually ever had to have was with this kid that was expelled. And I remember the vice-principal, the vice principal at the school, he brought me into his office because I feel like the older years, they met me outside and they've obviously been hearing about all these fights and they felt sorry for me.

16:08He was like, dammy, like I'm hearing all this stuff that's happening. And honestly, this is what he said. He said, honestly, if you're gonna fight, just don't do it in your uniform. And I said, but the only thing is I knew he hated the guy that was expelled. You basically got the approval. Yeah. of the only kind of body of authority to say you could do it. Yes, and it's like when obviously they told him, they probably thought he was going to say, okay, speak to me and maybe try and find a way for me to leave school quietly, where I don't actually have to be outside, blah, blah, blah. I must've been walking out and it was the school bell rang and we're all walking down and it's like, it was a whole swarm of people, like even parents, like school buses were not going to move.

16:52Like everybody like stood still just to come and see what was happening. It was like over, I'd say like 400, like 500 people just coming to you. To watch you fight. To watch. Yeah, because the thing is, I was making so much news about everybody that I was beating up. And obviously now everybody now wanted to see this person that everyone keeps talking about. Right. And it's become this whole spectacle of like, oh, why doesn't he like, why does it, why is no one able to beat him up? Why is he this, this, that, the other? and obviously the guy, the guy that was expelled, he's really popular. Like he's a bad boy, like he's really popular, whatever this, that, and the other.

17:29And I'm popular too at this point. So it's like now everybody's here to come and see this. And they've obviously seen the racist stuff that he's put online to come and like, you know, do all these things. And I remember walking, you know, past the school buses, like through the lanes. And before I know it, I'm in the middle of this big circle that I, like, I didn't even, like, I was just walking and then suddenly I'm wrapped around everybody. And someone's taken my bag now, I've given my bag. I think I've seen my bag just being flicked somewhere, you know what I mean, just put somewhere wherever it is.

18:02And before I know it, not even a time for conversation, it's like, bro's just step towards me. And he's like, oh, so you ready, yeah? You ready? I don't know if you call me Chocobar again or whatever, he's like, but you know, you ready, yeah? And again, I plead like, look, bro, we don't actually have to do this. Do you know what I mean? because that's the one thing I always say to people. We actually don't have to fight. There has to be something else before we actually have to get physical that maybe we can just leave it as, but if you hit me, we gotta, I've made a vow to myself. From now on, if you hit me, then we actually gotta go.

18:36And I remember he's come up now and he's punching me, he's punching me, he's punching me. And I like the punches are severe. Like in every other fight that I felt, I could feel these ones like so intensely, so pain so painfully I was thinking in my head today's gonna be the day that maybe you know I actually fall and I'm trying to find like all the pieces of clues of like what am I supposed to do as I'm like trying to like weave and trying to punch back and try to whatever but I'm still getting hit and it's like it's like nothing I'm doing in this instance is actually working you know and I remember I remember like just had a flashback earlier in the day of my MMA friend and talking about, bro, you have such long reach.

19:19Just like, step back and then, you know, and I just remember him saying it to me and somehow I don't know, I don't know if God entered my body or something happened. It was a way where it's like, I stepped back, weave, and then fell down, lights out. And in that moment, it was like, it was a sense of like, this was the last battle that I'd ever have to do. Like, nobody would touch me now. Do you know what I mean? And from then, it's like, I created this safe, harmonic space in this town for my siblings and everybody else, because now nobody would be racist to them. Nobody would touch them. And it's a thing where it's like I'm almost like a hero now.

19:59A hero. But this is an amazing story. Sorry. I've been going off on a tangent. I'm so sorry. No, no, no. That's not a tangent, because that was the seminal event in your childhood. that not only reshaped how people viewed you, but how you viewed yourself. And then also how people related to your siblings. Yeah. Right? So you could see how that moment changed you. My question, though, is how do you believe it changed you? So who were you before kind of like those series of fights? And then who did you become? I was someone that was scared of being alone, wanted to, like, you know, fit in and, you know, try to appease people, you know, just to do that.

20:52But then through this series of fights, I stopped being scared of being alone. It's like me being myself was enough. And if nobody else vouched for me, if nobody else fought for me, I'd fight for myself. And, you know, that's just it. But, again, it's okay. Yeah. But is it okay? I mean... Because I see you saying, this is what people keep saying, and it's okay. But after you hear something enough, it has to impact you. It has to affect you.

21:27I feel like I've been hearing it for so long, it doesn't really affect me anymore, though. That part of anyone's life is so important because you're, what, early teens? Early teens, probably like 12, 13. 12, 13. you're beginning to figure out what your identity is. And I always say that our identity is the story that we tell about ourselves, right? So at that age, what was the story you were telling about yourself to yourself? To myself, I feel like I was, the story I was telling to myself is like I'm supposed to be somebody. The type of music that I liked at that point, I loved Eminem so much.

22:09like I'd run away to I'd run away on the computer mixing mixing mixing little little CDs CDs of Eminem because obviously at that point you had to like rip file and download it so you didn't have to pay for it and stuff like this I'd be finding new ways to do so I was like I was kind of like very nerdy and very like who I was was very nerdy in the sense that like I would make things happen for me at the end of the day see I'm alone I gotta cry about it but I will eventually you know be where I need to be make the friends that I need to make. It's the same way, you know, I've done it before. It's just, I will do that again.

22:44And am I answering your question? No, you're answering it perfectly. And it was one of the boys that I really loved. Like, he loved rapping, I loved rapping, and we'd always be doing it on break, and it was like our escapism. It was Facebook error, and I feel like it got to a point, you know, back in Facebook days, like, all the kids used to, like, you know, change their names on Facebook, so you'd try and, like, have a stage name. And obviously I used to write, I used to write like bars, I used to write poems, I used to write like, just write stories and stuff like this. And I remember I was like just thinking, I was feeling down on myself and I was like, yo, like I was trying to figure out like which names I could do.

23:19There was one I was like, damn Zola. I was like, damn Nader. I was like, you know, I was just like free, free ball and stuff. And I was like, but no, that doesn't hit. Like, what do I need? Like, what do I need in myself? Like, what do I always need? And then I was like, Hope. I was like, yo, Dammy Hope. And then literally I just put my name that same day on Facebook, put my name Dammy Hope. It was a thing where I was like, it's no mistake now, I've reintroduced myself. This is who I am. That's wild. I shouldn't say that. That's fascinating. You named, you came up with that name. Came up with that name.

23:55I literally sat down, changed my name on Facebook, came in the next day. It was a thing where it's like, if you know me, it's Dammy Hope. And then from then, it's like everybody just started obviously knowing me as that name. Also, did you have a love for science? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I always just thought biology was the easiest, like, because it's just, you know, human anatomy, photosynthesis, it's just how things, you know, are made or how living things, it's just, I feel like it was one of the ones that was just easy to remember. Do you know what I mean? Especially biology, it's just organs, it's bones, as long as you just keep reading about it.

24:26And then when it came to the chemistry aspect, though, I was like, please, please, not for me. But I used to do biology and stuff like that. I think, yeah, I was a big fan of it. But I was more, I feel like I was more of an English. I always just loved English. When I wanted to go to university, you know, when we're filling out all the things that we want to do, I was like, oh, I want to do just anything with literature, journalism, anything to do with English. And my dad was like, there's no money inside that war, no. So you have to go and look for the ones that have money. And then I'm like, obviously science, I like science too.

25:01And then it's like there's biopharmaceutical courses with bioscience. And then it was a thing where I was like, you know, got to do what old man says. So did the science right. But to be honest, he wasn't lying. Because obviously when I actually started working and, you know. So this is after university. After university. And I actually started working. I got my, you know, first job. and you know it was like I started off as a not an intern but there's a different word for it but I guess it's kind of the same whatever so I started off as that and then like so quickly I built my way up to be the manager within like two years okay do you know I mean there's people older than me that were there there's people that were there and you were doing and you were doing what there I was doing a microbiology okay so I had my own team like uh we had rotors like there's two teams A and B.

25:49I managed maybe like 15 people. So we worked four days on, four days off. And we were, you know, doing tests for, you know, microorganisms and food, water. Even when COVID was happening, like we were like a big part and just like, you know, checking all this stuff and pat it. Look at that. Yeah. Microbiologists. Yeah. He wasn't lying though, because they were paying pretty well. They were paying pretty well. And, you know, at that point, you start to like, you start to forget. It's not like I forgot the things that I like, but you get so honed in because this is my job and, you know, there's times where I actually had more time to do things.