Who Is The Real Maura Higgins?

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0:29Welcome to We're Talking. Today we're sitting down with Maura Higgins, a name many first came to know from the Love Island Villa and more recently through her appearance on The Traitors in America. But behind the confidence, the one-liners and the public persona is a woman who has rarely let anyone in. In this episode, Maura opens the door for the first time, sharing the childhood that shaped her, the relationships that left their mark, and the journey from a small Irish town to a life in the spotlight. This week, we're talking Maura Higgins.

1:13Everyone else tries to tell your story. Yeah. Yeah. And I'd never like to tell my story. But why? Why do you think you don't like to tell your story?

1:27I feel like being vulnerable, you're just opening up to get hurt. That's the way I feel. That's why I never open up. Okay. Because then people can throw things at you and say what they want. Whereas if you mask it and people don't know, they can't really do anything about it. It's from my research and where I've done a lot of research on you. Oh, God, I'm starting to sweat. I've done a lot of research. Just to let you know, some of that might not be true. Okay. So that's the beauty of this. Okay. But what I have noticed is that you have not done a full-length interview ever. But you're here. So I'd love to start.

2:12Feeling uncomfortable. But you're smiling. You're smiling. Yeah. You see. I see it. I see it. Yeah. Why now? I really like putting myself out of my comfort zone. And I've always said I'd never do this. But I just feel like, how can you grow if you don't, you know? Yes. So I'm hoping this will be good for me. Okay. Because I am a very closed book. I could see that. I could see that you're guarded. So let's walk together. Okay. All right, let's walk together. let's start our walk in ireland ireland ireland and what i'd love to know is i want to start with the relationship that you had with your mother early okay tell me about mom i've always been very very close with mammy very close relationship but it's a hard one because when i look back at my childhood i don't think i was a very happy kid.

3:18I was the middle child. When I ask Mammy what was I like when I was really young, she says, I barely spoke. I was very, I was the quietest child. I never really spoke a lot. I just sat there smiling, which is quite strange because now I'm the complete upset. Yes. And she always brings that up. I can't understand. I can't understand why I was like that. But I don't necessarily felt, I don't think I felt happy like when I really dive back to when I was young. Yeah. I mean, that's an honest reflection, you know, of your childhood. What do you think it was about childhood that made you feel unhappy?

4:07I've always tried to think about this and I don't know. Okay. I really don't know. Who could you go to to feel safe with?

4:20I don't know. Okay. That could be where it is. That could be where it is. I remember when I was very, very young and I never ever told anyone this. I used to have these crazy voices in my head, but I can't pinpoint what the voices were. It was like my own voice, but it was in my head constantly. And I remember like so many times I'd be like this going, my God, what is that? But I never spoke about it because I thought, God, everyone's going to think I'm crazy. What's interesting is that also lets me believe that you truly had, you felt like you had no one. Because if you didn't want to, if you didn't feel comfortable talking about it, meant that you didn't feel comfortable in the environment.

5:06How do you think your relationship with your father impacted the environment early on in your life? My dad worked a lot, which obviously, you know, I can't hate him for that. Like he's putting food on the table. Yes. So he wasn't really around. And then, I mean, I'm jumping on a bit, but when the divorce happened, it just, yeah, got worse. Yeah, worse. So when that divorce happened, I mean, that's a traumatic experience for anyone. How do you think that impacted you and the family? it was it was a very nasty breakup and a lot went on like things that I would never want to talk about because I would never want to like I don't know I wouldn't want to be saying things about my mum or dad but now I don't have a relationship with my dad um when the breakup happened my mum was trying to keep a roof over four kids and herself and you know we were all in school it was very very hard and I remember seeing my mum struggle a lot um she had a nervous breakdown she collapsed in the kitchen in front of all of us and only for my older sister you know she was a lot older at the time and she knew to like put her on her side and call the ambulance and I don't know why I remember this but I remember mammy has a rare blood type and my older sister knew to say that to the paramedics and and I just remember thinking she's the head like and I just I did not move I did not help my mom I was young I sat crying like screaming crying I didn't know what was going on so yeah it was that was a lot you said you you no longer have a relationship with your father did is is that the reason that is that was at that time period no it was it was actually later it was after I did Love Island okay um it's kind of a weird we haven't spoken a few years now but my dad spoke to me not very nice and I'm not just saying like you know a bit of an argument it was it was horrendous where I physically cut and breathe after the phone call and I thought to myself like I wouldn't let a partner talk to me like that I wouldn't let my friends talk to me like that I'm not gonna let my dad talk to me like that but also I think if I dig deep I don't think I've I'm jumping a bit now sure I don't think I've ever for like forgiving my dad for not being there for me when my best friend passed away.

8:06Okay, okay. And he wasn't there for me. So it sounds like your father not only lets you down in that moment, which we'll definitely get to, but also you watched your mother struggle. You said you watched her struggle. And I know he did as well. I know he did.

8:26But he just did things that just, Just not. Yeah. Not what a father should do. Okay. But you were in a, as I see it, a very interesting school. And I say interesting, but I don't know. How do you define... It is crazy. Yeah, how do you explain it? And I think that's a lot of why I was so unhappy as a kid. Because I remember I used to come home from that school. And I used to think... I just used to cry my eyes out thinking I have to go back there tomorrow. And you know what it's like with parents. Like every kid comes home from school going their teacher is mean and blah, blah, blah. But he was awful.

9:12Yes. He was awful. So describe the school. The school was basically, from the outside it looked like a shed and it was split into two. So on this side, that's where you start off when you're young, young. and the teacher was a really nice woman, really, really nice. You go into the next classroom, and then you're on to third class, fourth class, fifth class, and sixth class. So you're there for four years. Okay, in one class? In one classroom. One half of a shed. One half of a shed. So in my class, the whole way from third class to sixth class, there was me and two boys. Three of you? Yeah. Yeah.

9:56And we're being taught the same thing as the sixth class, which how does that make sense? But also we didn't learn a lot. We learned maths. We learned Irish, which we don't speak. We did learn a bit of history, which was irrelevant. Also, we were learning Irish, but we weren't learning the translation of the Irish. So that was quite, you know, that's really going to benefit me as well. Yes. And yeah, we never got taught English. So I went into secondary school not knowing what a noun was, not knowing what a verb was. I was so clueless. Master Kelly said, we don't need to learn English because we speak it.

10:37That was his view on it. This is an interesting setup. Oh, yes. Yeah. What was discipline like in the school? We weren't allowed to speak at a normal tone. That might be the reason why I'm very loud. we had to scream and sometimes it would be that hard you would scream a lot where your veins be coming through your neck and he would walk straight by you and he would go I can't hear you and he would sit so calmly and then we'd have to go louder and louder and louder um discipline you would not be allowed to sit like that for starters oh I can't sit like this No, no, no. Really? You are not allowed.

11:19Like your feet had to be fully flat. Okay. Your back had to be completely straight. Okay. Your table had to be so far away and your book, whatever you're writing on, cannot be any way crooked. It had to be center straight and you had to write like this. And God forbid you get comfortable and you do this, you're getting knuckled into the back. Really? Yeah. He would knuckle into the back and he would just say, sit up straight. Wow. Yeah. And that was three years. Turd. Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra. That's the OG. It kicked off this whole zero sugar energy drink thing.

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12:37Four years. Four years. Four years of hell. We never got outside to play.

12:46Yeah, that wasn't a thing. When I listen to my friends in the UK and they're like, oh, like they name all these games that they used to do in school. And I'm like, oh my God, I bet that was so fun. I'm like, no, I didn't have that. We weren't allowed. So you would go to school, you'd be in that environment, you'd go home, and then what was the environment like at home? Well, he would give you that much homework that you couldn't do anything else. he would give you 25 a4 pages to learn off by heart and the next morning it was a the same routine we all had to say our prayers in irish facing a wall and then it was everyone had to to basically uh say their homework so you're facing a wall and you start on page one and you have to i don't even think a robot will be able to do what he expected from us wait hold on for You're saying that you would have to recite your homework looking at a wall.

13:40And if you even hesitate on one word, he'll just go, sit down in that manner. And then it'd be 100 lines. So you have to write out 100 times. I shall learn my homework from now on. I shall learn my homework from now on. And all we did was lines most of the time rather than learn. And that was the reason we never had time to go outside because everyone had lines. Right. Because we never learned our homework because it was impossible. Yeah. When you reflect back now as an adult and you look at that, without question, that's toxic. Do you feel like that was an abusive environment? He had a bamboo stick.

14:23Yeah. And he would stand at the bottom of the classroom. He was in full control all the time. Like even when you were eating lunch, you know, a normal, well, I mean, it's far from a normal school. But surely you can have a conversation with your friend. No. You're not allowed to speak. You're not allowed to speak. No. And so the bamboo stick was used. Yeah. He wouldn't like be it, but he would poke, you know. Sure. Sure. Yeah. So you've gone through four years of this. I'm curious on the weekends, what was your weekend like? I mean, where was... Playing outside in a tree house. Okay. with my dolls and pretending to be a mom and baking cakes with wet sand.

15:11Okay. Okay. Pretending to be a mom. Yeah. Weirdly. Okay. I used to have incense sticks and I used to light them and be like this. I don't know why. It's so weird. So you're a mom. Pushing my little pram around. Yeah. It's weird. Oh my gosh. Now, when you look at all that, How does all of that, including the small, because it's a small town. Everyone knows everyone. You can see the top from the bottom. Of the town? Mm-hmm. Really? Mm-hmm. How does that, do you think, inform you and your relationships as you get older? I don't know. You don't know? Like, it probably does. Yes. But, I mean, I'd love to know.

15:58Okay. I've never seen a therapist because I hate opening up, especially to strangers. That makes me very uncomfortable. Like I'll open up to my mom. But I'm sure there is a lot of stuff from my past that comes in to my present. Yes. Yeah. Yes. We're going to unpack this. We're in this zone here. At what point do you start dating? My first boyfriend, I was 17. You were 17? Mm-hmm. Okay. I moved out of home. We moved in together. And I was with him for nine years. All right. Mm-hmm. So you moved out of home. Did you also, you dropped out of school at that time, didn't you? I dropped out of school when I was 16.

16:47Yeah. Small town. So it must be from the small town. Yeah. And we went to the same secondary school. And it was so weird when I look back because I'm like, I moved out when I was 17 with my first boyfriend. But in a small town like that, that's not odd. It's really normal. Yes. Like, I definitely wouldn't do that now. But yeah, I was with him nine years. Nine years. Typically in a smaller town, you'd see marriage happen fairly quickly. So what I understand is that you were engaged but never got married. We got engaged when I knew I would have never married him. We got engaged maybe a year before I separated from him.

17:32Okay. So it kind of, it shouldn't have happened, but it just did. And I think, I don't know, for some reason in our heads, we think this will fix everything. It's not going to fix anything. What is a ring on your finger going to do? It's, I don't know why we think like this, but yeah, it definitely didn't fix anything. But yeah, I just fell out of love. Okay. That is literally, and I remember I was speaking to Mammy a lot about it before I did it for quite a long time. And I was just like, I don't know how to do this. I don't want to break his hair. But I knew I had to. At this time, though, you are now a hairdresser.

18:16Yes. Okay. But you're already, but I think that you've already started traveling outside of Ireland. Yeah, so I obviously left school when I was 16. and I went straight into hairdressing, got all my qualifications. It was something I always wanted to do. And I knew I didn't need to finish school to do that. And Mammy was very supportive as always. And she was like, look, if this is what you want, go for it. So, yeah, I went to this training college and then started off in salons, like apprenticeships. And I think you're on like a 50-year-old week. Okay. And, you know, you're sweeping the floor and you're making the coffee.

18:55and I loved it. I loved it. Looking back, like I loved it at the beginning. Ended up hitting it. But yeah, and then, you know, you start off then doing the odd blow dry and people's hair and then you're like, oh my God, I'm really getting a feel for this and you're getting your practice and I just really wanted to be fully qualified. I wanted my own clientele. I was so excited about it. And you know, we always want more, don't we? As humans. Yes, we do. We always want more and it's just greed. um but yeah I did it and I was a bit like god like I'm getting a bit bored now and I remember uh there was I don't know was an Instagram message or something and it was about monster energy um and they were looking for a girl to do one of the Irish jobs up in Belfast or something or Donegal or somewhere like that and I was literally oh my god imagine being a monster girl that would be so cool you'd get to travel around the world and I was a bit like I'm not gonna do it I'll just be disheartened like because I'm not even gonna reply because they'd probably just not have me my best friend at the time Andrew he pushed me into doing it and he was like just reply you'd never know and I was like I think it's like an audition process and like whatever so anyways I finally did it and that day was like a trial um and i loved that i loved everything about it it was so fun and then they sent me an email i think like a few days after and they were like um we'd love you to join the team wow but obviously i'm still in a salon at the time yes so i had to kind of work both because i didn't want to lose the salon in case there wasn't enough because obviously the monster jobs it's very summertime is very busy wintertime you're without a paycheck kind of thing okay so i didn't really want to lose that and then as i got busier with monster i was like you know what i'm just gonna do this i'm just gonna i'm gonna quit the hairdressing and just risk it but but at this time and what's great is that uh at the time your best friend pushes you to do this you have a boyfriend also at this time so what was he thinking was he excited about you doing this?

21:10No. No. He, he didn't, he wasn't supportive. He, I think he kind of seen me as just stay in that town, open my own salon someday, but that's not what I wanted. My dad wanted the same. My dad wanted me to open up a salon and, you know, have my own business in the hometown, but it's not what I wanted. That's your dream. That's not my dream. Like, I want to do more. Like, I want to travel the world. Like, I'm young. Why not? So, yeah, I don't think he... The ex-boyfriend definitely didn't. He didn't. He wasn't keen on it. He didn't. But it's interesting that you still had the, you know, you had the grit to say, even though my boyfriend doesn't want me to do this, even though my father doesn't want me to do this, I'm still going to do it.

22:02That's something that not a lot of people have, you know. So you have that and so you're doing it. So it sounds like you loved it. I loved it. Loved Worrying for a Monster. Yeah, I can see you. You were like, oh my God. I loved it. I met so many amazing people and I traveled the world. I was in places like Indonesia, Africa, like even started doing some jobs out in America for them. Like it was, some weeks I was taking nine flights a week. Wow. It was phenomenal. It was scary at the beginning. Obviously taking my first flight by myself and I'm just this little girl from the middle of Ireland, rural, just surrounded by cows and sheep.

22:39But I did it and I was so proud I did it. And if I was to turn back time, I would have never changed that. And if you want to hear the full unfiltered stories from today's guest, you can check them out on the We Need to Talk page. Drop a like, leave a comment and hit subscribe. See you next week.

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