3 Ways to Make Your Money Feel More In Control

0:06Welcome to the Wealthy After 40 podcast, the show for Gen X women and couples who are ready to ditch financial stress and feel confident about retirement. I'm your host, Dailene Higgins, money coach and retirement strategist to help you gain clarity and confidence with your money by creating a spending plan that aligns with your financial goals and dreams so you can spend intentionally, save consistently, and feel at peace about your future. Join me every week to understand your money, simplify your decisions, and take intentional steps toward the life you want.

0:48So last episode, we talked about overspending. I feel like I'm overspending. And maybe the better word is I'm spending too much. Because in the sense of what I used in the last episode was you're not carrying a credit card balance. You're paying it off every month. You're not on overdraft. All of your bills are met. You're even setting some money aside to retirement. But internally, you don't feel fine. On paper, yep, it all checks off. And even if I reach out to somebody, they're like, it looks good. But you're like, but I don't feel like I'm in control or I don't feel good about it, right? Whatever those words are.

1:36And I asked, you know, for you to kind of share that with me. I hope you did or will. And we really talked about that it may not be an overspending problem, right? I talked about seasonal spending. We talked about, you know, the different demands. And it's kind of in those moments that we feel like, oh my gosh. or I know with my client, she got in a comparative state. Well, is this what other people are spending their money on? Would other people spend it this way? And so really focused on the idea that you're overspending or you're spending too much really is tearing you down. It's creating this idea of inept.

2:22And what it truly is, is that you don't have a clear system to support your spending. Right? You don't have a system. And so there are no clear spending boundaries because there's only two things we can do with our money, spend it or save it. And save it just means we're going to spend it in the future. So honestly, all we can do is just spend it. unless you're creating generational wealth. And very few of you are probably actually going to do that if you're listening to my podcast. And if you are trying to bless your soul, I hope I'm being helpful. I really just want people to be in a place here now and into retirement where they're feeling good about their money, regardless of the amount.

3:16We've seen people with loads of money, they're still not happy. So really, it's just getting to that place where you feel good. But right now you have no clear spending boundaries. There's no priority set, right? You haven't designated maybe your goal or your vision or what are your priorities? It's been a long time since I've shared mine. I spend my money on books, right? That is one of my priorities. And so hopefully you can declare something like that too. But you also have no structure for decision making. When things happen, you kind of have to go off of a sense of, well, when it's payday, it doesn't sound like it's too high priced.

4:07Yes, I think I would enjoy it, This is that situation. So a money system should remove those things. So initially, you think you're overspending or spending too much. And you tell yourself you need a stricter budget or you need more discipline. But that is not truth. That you just need a system that's going to show you what is safe to spend, where, and when, right? Because future savings is future spending. So when and where are very crucial as well. So within my framework, So if you've listened to, let me find the episode.

5:06Episode 172, I talk about my money systems. So if you have listened to that, or if you haven't, go give it a listen. But the episodes around it are my entire framework, right? I do an overview, and then I have four phases of my framework. And the second one is your money systems. and your money systems. Yes, I have some set pieces in play, but the elements within are personalized. The structure can be personalized a little bit, but this system is going to number one, help you know what's safe to spend, help you know how to start creating momentum for the future and really give you, so my phase three is your money decisions.

5:59You have to know how to make decisions off of that system. That is crucial. So I know everybody's like, well, what is a system? And I share that in that episode of specifically what it is, but what does a system give you? Now, why is a system important? It helps create control. Again, positively, right? And I want people to create this system of very ease, control, kind of like the bumper guards on a bowling lane. You know, if you're bad at bowling like me, I really like to use those or I'm never going to get any pins, you know, and even at that best. But that is what I mean by control in your money.

6:52You still have all this room, just like in that lane, but you've set it up. It helps to create three things. A money system should have three things that it will support you in that control. and as I teach control, it then becomes automatic. I don't, it's not automations, it's automatic so that it's ongoing and then something big happens. You make a slight adjustment, you spend a little bit more time, but this is not a system that is going to, as I had a previous client said, I want a system that's not going to suck the life out of me. So here are three things that your system, if you're trying to put one together, needs to have.

7:41You need to have visibility. You need to know where is your money going. Very easily, very quickly, very much know this, right? This could be, this is going to be one of two things. It's actually going to be two things. You're going to have a budget and you're going to have something that's tracking within that budget very easily. OK, it's all about ease here. But you have the visibility so that, you know, if you recall last episode I talked about, you're avoiding dialing into those, you know, deeper numbers. But that's because if you pull up your credit card or if you look at your bank account, that's just a bunch of random letters, numbers.

8:23You know, yeah, you know what you did, but it doesn't mean anything. So not only visibility, but the structure, that is number two. Make sure that your system has structure to make the visibility easier and to make it easier to use, right? That structure is going to give you the support. When you're building a house or you're building anything, you have to have a solid structure. And that is just the same with a money system. The third thing is you need intention. You need to create a system that is intentional for all of the areas of your life. Okay, now when I say intention, what does that mean?

9:15Value-based budgeting, intentional spending, those two kind of go hand in hand, but it means I have outlined what I truly want to spend my money on. Okay, it's what I need, but it's what I want. And every time I go for a want, I lose that shame because I have been intentional. The money is there because of my structure. It is visible to me how much I have, right? So say there's something that you want to do and you're intentional and you've built it in there and you're like, okay, yep, I can spend on this. I can spend on this. you know what, I've done that one too many times this month or one too many times this paycheck, whatever it is, as far as your structure, because visibly you can see that quickly and you're very intentional.

10:07Yes, you want to spend on that. But all of three of those things worked together to help you create that control. Okay, let me cover those three things very quickly again. visibility so you can see where your money is going. It has structure so that you know, you know, how it's going. It's quickly looked at. It's kind of like in compartments or, you know, different areas. And you've been intentional. But even if it is one expense of intention, you know, you still have that visibility and that structure so that you don't quote, outspend what your intention was, you know, indicated for. So I hope that makes sense.

10:56I know it's like, I don't know, but that's the kind of control you want. You want to have visibility. You want to have structure within that visibility so that you know more easily and you want to build intention. We have bills that we have to pay. Yes, we should be saving, but we got to spend some money, people. We got to enjoy life. We got to enjoy life. So when you know where your money is going, right, with those three ways, everything changes. You're more confident. You can make those choices very easily, right? You're not just saying yes, and then hoping it works out. You're actually saying, yes, I'm going to go enjoy that thing.

11:39My one client, she says, well, that was the first girl's trip I've ever taken where I didn't worry about money while I was on the trip. And it was all affording to the system, right? It gave her the confidence and it gave her the clarity, right? Also, you're very calm. You're very calm. Even if you've got to tell somebody no, there's going to be a calm way around it. You're going to be able to say, yep, I'm sorry. And so just like I said with my client, she went on all the girls trips prior to a system and worried about money the entire time. That's not what we really want to be doing. I hear people saying, well, we're just going to go on a trip and we're going to figure out how to pay for it when we come back.

12:27It's a lot of stress. That's a lot of worry. But if you'll have a system and that's what you want to do and you build intention with it, you've got visibility and structure, man, you already know it's going to be taken care of. Yep, we're going to go. Yep, we're going to be okay. There's no worry. There's no calm. And I don't know who wouldn't want that. So if you're like, you know what, that's probably the piece of puzzle I'm missing is a system and you want to start exploring it or start exploring the problem that you have connected with me in either the fan mail below or as a DM on Instagram.

13:06A money reset session is perfect for you. Your money reset session, two hours, let's dial into it. I'm going to start showing you how to refine the system you have or what steps you need to start building that system. So go visit elevatefinances.us backslash session. Go read through what that has for you. If you're interested, book a call. Let's chat. So just a reminder that control doesn't come from restriction. It actually comes from clarity. Remember, control used in my ecosystem is all about positivity and how it can best help us live our life, enjoy our money, and really make retirement possible.

13:58Thank you for spending this time with me. If you're not already following the show, be sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And I'd love to hear from you. Come hang out with me on Instagram, send me a message, tell me what clicked for you or what you're currently struggling with. You can find me at elevate underscore finances or by searching the name, Daylene Higgins. I'm over there having real conversations about money and retirement. And remember, retirement isn't just a dream, it's a plan, and you get to make it possible.