How Can You Budget Better? Stop Fighting Your Money System

0:00You've figured out your career, your family, your life, but money still feels like a mystery. If you've ever thought, I should know better by now, this episode is for you. And the honest truth, you're not bad with money. You're just trying to use a system that was never built for how you work and think. Let's talk about why alignment, not more discipline, is the real solution. Welcome to the Wealthy After 40 podcast, the show for Gen X women and couples who are ready to ditch financial stress and feel confident about retirement. I'm your host, Dalene Higgins, financial and retirement coach, helping Gen Xers master their money and create a personalized retirement plan so they can stop spinning their wheels and step boldly into their dream retirement.

0:50If you're feeling behind, don't worry. Continue listening to this podcast, as well as be sure to grab your free guide, Five Must Do Steps to Start Retirement Planning Now. at elevatefinances.us backslash must do. And remember, let's make retirement possible together. Welcome to the episode. If you have ever thought, what's wrong with me? Why can't I figure out this money thing? You're not alone. I've heard it from many clients, and you're definitely not broken. Today, we're going to talk about why smart, capable women like you still feel stuck or behind when it comes to budgeting, saving, and really planning your money as we head into planning for retirement.

1:39So you likely feel this way because you've been trying to force yourself into a system, a money system that doesn't fit with how you naturally think or even live. It's not a knowledge problem, and I promise learning one more thing will not help you solve, and all of a sudden, magically, it's going to work. By the end of this episode, you'll better understand why your current, you know, attempts, your past attempts are backfiring, how to stop beating yourself up about it, and two simple steps you can start taking today to find a money system that actually works for you and not against you. You ready?

2:25Let's talk about what is really the problem. them. I have clients and they're like very, very intelligent women. They have amassed, you know, some degrees or they have created an amazing company. And when it comes to their money, comes to their personal money, they're saying, what's wrong with me? You're probably saying the same thing too. What's wrong with me? And you get stuck in this loop as you, every time you attempt to try. And, you know, it's not working. It's not working. You try something, it's not working. And this vicious loop has you feeling ashamed because you are smart. And I hope you know that because other areas of your life, you have figured out, raised the family, managed the house, managed the kids growing up to become hopefully productive adults, all of those things.

3:21but money to you still feels chaotic, inconsistent, and with a lot of emotions. Before we dive into that any further, I want you to go listen to episode 138, where I talk about why am I bad with money and I help you get out of that cycle. If these thoughts really have you stuck, go listen to that episode to help you break that cycle. You're definitely going to want to do that as well as listening to this episode to begin to find some sure footing with managing your money. In that episode, I talk a lot more about mindset, emotions, you know, the way we think. And today I'm going to help you with the practical side of it.

4:08So you've been trying to fit into a system of traditional budgeting, tracking, and that's why you struggled. And it works for some. That's why you're thinking, why can't I make this work like so-and-so or so-and-so? It seems like it should be easy. They figured it out. but you can't force yourself into something that doesn't jive with who you are, the way you think, the way you need your feedback to come back to you. That's how we get better with money is managing it and seeing the feedback so that we can continue to move closer to our goals. You've been taught there's only one right way to manage money and that way doesn't work for your life.

4:58If you're looking for something different, I can help you begin to solve this in the Retirement Roadmap session. Be sure to book your free call at elevatefinances.us backslash connection. And let's talk about that. Let's talk about what system I use, how I help women and men at this stage of life find a way that actually works. Honestly, I have a way of teaching, but I can massage it to be what is going to be successful with you. That is why coaching is so successful and why I believe that there's not just one way, one system. We build it around who you are and what you're really good at. Heck, for 15 years, I helped 22 different personalities, different levels of thinking and desire, be able to manage and budget taxpayer money, law enforcement officials, that's not what they signed up to do.

6:00But I was able to help them figure it out. I bring all of those skills into working with my clients and helping them navigate it specifically for them. Let's talk about why this problem, why you can't overcome it. and I've talked about it a little bit, but most financial advice, most information out there is a one size fits all. And it can come across as very rigid, restrictive, and designed for numbers people. Right? That's why I was successful in navigating it because I see numbers really well. You know, I've used them in a lot of my career moving forward, not just with true money, but in other ways.

6:47If this is not working, you have natural skills and abilities that need to be tapped into to help you manage your money with what is comfortable with you. It's not about more knowledge. It's about alignment. Again, it's about approaching this from a completely different angle. Don't let the shame keep you stuck and repeating the cycle of starting over with the same tools that don't work. You've tried it two, three, four, five times. It's not going to work. You've got to find something that is going to click with how you think and how you want to manage your money. We still need to manage our money, but there are many multitude ways of doing it.

7:38I've used several on my journey and so I support clients to be able to do that type of journey. The shame you feel isn't a reflection of your ability. It's a sign that you've outgrown a system or the system never worked, right? Was never right for you to begin with. So recognize that and it's time to find a completely different way. And there are a multitude of ways to approach how you're going to, quote, budget and track your money to get to where you want to go. I worked with a client who knew exactly what she wanted as an end goal, very clear. And honestly, she knew the steps to get there. I didn't understand those steps, but I understood how to help her manage her personal finances to create the flow that she needed.

8:35Okay, she wanted 100 doors. That was how she was going to build her retirement. By the age of 50, she delayed for five years. She says, I can't believe I did that. And within three months, she's easily stepping into that very first door. Yes, she hadn't even started and felt so much success. And you know, like she could do this, she goes, maybe I'm still shooting too high. And I said, don't give it up. Don't give it up. How can you do this for yourself? Step one, you need to notice what's going on. As you're using these, you know, ideas, these systems, where do you feel most out of sync? Is it with your spending, your saving, the planning?

9:25Like maybe you're not as clear as my client with your end goal. Or maybe you're like some of my other clients who are like, I spend too much, I don't have enough money and I need help. You know, and I think most of us or most of my clients, they struggle with saving and maintaining that savings. And there is really, that's a whole different episode. Reflect on what has never felt natural to you. We need to identify, okay, I don't like spreadsheets or I forget to track all the time. Are you avoiding your bank account, period? All of that is feedback. And you need to think about those and begin building your awareness.

10:11Why does it feel out of sync? And we start taking this as a different approach. So notice what is going on. Is it your spending? Is it that you don't like to track? Is it that you're filling out a spreadsheet? I had a client, she said, I fill out a spreadsheet, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with it after that. Really, you've got to find where you seem to be out of alignment. And it might be several places, but I want you to choose one. The first one that comes into mind, and I want you to think about it. why does this feel not in alignment with you why does this feel what are your specifics if you're like i'm spending too much we need to find the areas that we think we are spending too much and that comes down to gaining clarity awareness and clarity and looking at those numbers then we move into step two.

11:12We're going to choose one small shift. And what I mean by this is I want you to give yourself permission to tweak the rules that you've been known, to tweak what you've been trying to do. For example, if tracking every single dollar feels overwhelming and you're not understanding the feedback, I want you to either track by category or like I said, focus only on your leaky area. You feel like you're overspending where? Like let's gain an answer for that. Are you truly overspending in that area? It could be somewhere else. So you're going to have to jump around. You're going to have to go, I'm going to try here for two weeks or 30 days, whatever it might be.

12:03Don't do too long, but we want to do long enough. And I want you to let go of the idea that you're failing. If as you're doing this, this is an experimenting. This is how you find what's going to work. Maybe it's just a matter of I only track five things. I make sure my bills get paid and then I track five categories. I stay within alignment there and boom, I am successful with my money, right? It doesn't have to be overwhelming. You don't have to manage every little dollar. There are many ways to be able to get the information and the feedback and be supportive of your end goals. I help clients explore what has worked in the past.

12:54And my simple budget and tracking methods. Like I said, I have a very simple three category budget that we tie to three bank accounts for tracking. And then within that, we find the quote leaky areas, the places where you don't feel like you're on the up and up, whatever that means. It's bringing some hard feelings to you and we've got to resolve that. We've got to define if this is true or false. Because as long as you believe that, you're never going to get moving ahead with money. We need to get curious about what is working. And I do that with clients. We look at overall monies, the categories, we see how it's coming together, explaining itself.

13:48I've shared many a times clients come to me and they're like, I don't have enough money. And there's a lot of reasons for that, dialing that into, is that true or is that false? And if it's false and you have enough money, there's a broken system or there's a broken issue somewhere else. But that is what you want to do with your experimenting and continue to work through. But if you're looking for a way to get through that more quickly and you're like, I just don't have the time to do that every two weeks and then think about it and review it and I really don't want to, definitely let's do it together.

14:24Let's do it together. I want you to book a free call at elevatefinances.us backslash connection. And let's begin exploring what you're thinking and what you're feeling. And remember, for booking a free call during the month of August, you will receive a bonus training video called the fastest way to build savings. I will help you understand what it takes to build savings and give you some strategies that are going to have you taking that step and moving forward. I hope this episode was helpful in understanding that it's not you. I've worked with many clients who have felt this way and recognizing that we need to create a new system.

15:11Yes, I have a baseline I start with, but if you come to me and you say, well, this worked, but it wasn't working when I did this, let me help you tweak that. I love to take your successes and enhance them to be able to have it familiar and then adding to it to keep you moving forward to reaching that end goal of hopefully reaching retirement. We might have minor goals in between now and then, but we have got to find something that is going to pave the way for us to get there. I hope you'll book a call. At least you'll get a free video training, but be sure to tune into the next episode.

15:59Thank you for spending this time with me. If you're not already following the show, be sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And I'd love to stay connected with you between episodes. So come join me inside my Facebook community, retirement ready hub for GenXers. It's where we're having real conversations about money, sharing wins, working through challenges, and building a clear path toward retirement. And remember, retirement isn't just a dream, it's a plan, and you get to make it possible.