How to Stop Overspending Money When Tracking Isn’t Enough

0:00How do you stop overspending even when you're tracking and knowing where your money is going? Control happens at the decision-making stage, not when you review your expenses and quote, see your overspending. This episode will help you understand why knowing where your money goes isn't the same as being in control and what you should do instead to quote, help you stop overspending. Welcome to the Wealthy After 40 podcast, the show for Gen X women and couples who are ready to ditch financial stress and feel confident about retirement. I'm your host, Dalene Higgins, financial and retirement coach, helping Gen Xers master their money and create a personalized retirement plan so they can stop spinning their wheels and step boldly into their dream retirement.

0:55If you're feeling behind, don't worry. Continue listening to this podcast, as well as be sure to grab your free guide, 5 Must Do Steps to Start Retirement Planning Now at elevatefinances.us backslash must do. And remember, let's make retirement possible together. other.

1:17Welcome to the episode. I'm so excited to dive into the topic of overspending. I get a lot of clients come to me and they express their true desire in me to help them stop overspending. And they're looking for me to tell them how to do that. First off, I want to say I don't coach like this. I'm not going to tell you where to spend your money. By the end of this episode, you'll understand a better why. But if you're looking for someone to tell you exactly how to stop overspending, head on over to Dave Ramsey. He will tell you. He will tell you exactly what to do and what not to do. But if you're looking for a better, more effective, and honestly, a happier approach to your spending and your money, you found the right place.

2:10And today, I'm going to help you understand overspending and how to, quote, control where your money is going. Lots of quotes. Lots of quotes today because some of these words I'm using aren't true, exact definitions of what you hear the word normally. Most of us don't like restrictive budgets. In fact, most of us stay away from budgeting because we find it is restrictive. We, you know, we don't like it. It's never been effective for us. And I'm here to tell you that you don't need a restricted budget to help you be effective and having control of your money. But I do believe you need a budget.

2:54Hopefully you'll stay tuned and I'll explain more why, but we're going to start off by talking about what is overspending. Really, as the clients have come to me and shared this word, and then I ask them to explain to me what they mean. First off, for me, overspending means I just go out and I spend money I know I don't have. To me, that is true overspending. And that is a different issue than what I am talking about today. That needs different support, coaching, therapy, if I can say. The other thing, and this is mainly what I hear from my clients, is that overspending is I spent things that weren't in my budget.

3:48I purchased things that weren't in my budget and I knew I shouldn't have. Or, you know, with the things that happened this month, I overspent my budget. That's a completely different problem. And that is the problem I'm going to help you solve today. If you have the other problem, I would love for you to book a free call. I can find somebody to help support you. But But let's go back to overspending. And I want you, if you're somebody that uses that word often, oh man, I overspent. Oh, I overspent. I want you to stop and I want you to define what that means to you. Define overspending. Just like I said at the first of the episode, there's going to be words that we're not using in the same context.

4:37And when you say overspending, I know it's not the same context as what somebody believes it to be. And it is important for you to understand what you mean by this, because then you can actually identify your problem and you can find a solution. Or when you reach out, somebody can help you find a solution much easier. So we've got to start there. Why do we overspend? Why do you overspend? And remember, we're not talking about just going out and blatantly spending money. There are certain opportunities, and I'm using that word because it's a very positive word, that show up that you will want to choose to take advantage of.

5:26And when these opportunities show up and you, quote, spend money, doing so is not overspending. you feel bad because you've been told to stick to your budget. So it's not overspending, but you think, well, I'm supposed to stick to my budget. If you recall in episode 133, and if you haven't listened to that, go back and listen to that after this episode, but I talk about a budget is a guideline. We create a plan that we hope to stick to if life is perfect most of the time. Most. It's not going to happen, especially if you have kids, spouses, and stuff going on in your life. Opportunities are presented to you all of the time.

6:29But it's when these opportunities show up, and it's in that moment that you need to take control. This is how we alleviate that thought of overspending where it's not in our budget. Now, opportunities are things such as, oh, you know, there's a really good deal on, you know, some sort of grocery item I need to stock up. So you spend more than normal. Or my child came to me with a great opportunity to go learn something or even for yourself. These are the opportunities I'm, you know, saying that are showing up. But it's what you do when these opportunities show up that matters most. What should you do instead?

7:22Instead of shaming yourself, when you don't stick to that budget, because the opportunity is there, I want you to create a control mechanism. Now that sounds pretty harsh. I didn't know what else to talk about it and use the terms, but as I get to the end of this, you'll better understand it. But what I want you to do first, I want you to keep creating a budget. I know you're thinking, but you just told me I'm not going to stick to it. Well, creating a budget and tracking your expenses. When you see things normally pop up often and they're not in your budget where it's always a certain amount, you rewrite that budget.

8:10We're not creating the budget every month, but we are refining it. We are making these changes as we are actually using it. This is how you create a sustainable budget. Now, if you've been here a while, you might have heard me say flexible budget. How do you create a flexible budget? You're going to do this by creating a quote, again, control mechanism. It is the control mechanism in your brain and an action with your budget where you begin to reflect on the choices. For example, you have an opportunity show up. You're going to review it. You're going to think about it. You're going to understand it better.

9:05all of the things, the cost, what are the benefits, you know, really explore it. Now, the opportunities are, you know, a good opportunity, an emergency, a new purchase. And as you think about it, you're going to look at your budget as a framework. As you look at your budget, you will need to think about give and take. Because it is true, you only have so much money. But does this new choice or new opportunity fit better with your values, with what you want your money to be supporting you with? Is it leading you to your goals? Is it supporting what you want money to be creating for you? It's really important to have goals with our money, as it also guides us with our budget, with our framework.

10:02But it's there that we actually then make that decision. I have an opportunity. This is the cost. This is the benefit to me. Is that greater than something else? Or if I kind of like shift things. I've had clients say, you know, I have a budget, I track, but I don't know what to do with it at that point. This is one of those things. This is one of those things. This is how you create the flex. This is how you go, well, all right, I know I only have so much money. This new opportunity is here. And how can I make it work? We're not restricted. We're flexing. And we're keeping sustainable. I want to share with you a message from a dear client as she was one of the clients who came to me all frazzled about her spending, wanting me to tell her what to do, where she was overspending, all of those things.

11:06And as you heard me at the very beginning, that's not how I do it, but I walk you through different steps. And as we had been working together for several sessions, she sent me this message and I'll read you her words. Dear Daylene, I was thinking about our value spending discussion this morning and just wanted you to know that was so very impactful to me. Truly grateful that you are coaching me. Despite knowing the money is there and I have done all the things to build the nest egg, I was really lacking the tools and insight on how to manage it and had lots of fears and worries about it. I am feeling more at ease and quite excited actually about what the future holds.

11:55Man, to have her go from frazzled a lot of the fear she was going to outspend her nest egg to really being in tune with her spending and with what she was choosing to do with her money was such a huge transformation for her. If you're like my client and you're ready to get rid of fears and worries, your first step is a financial reality checkup inside the Retirement Roadmap session. So in this session, we'll map out where your money is going. I'll help you build a budget, the framework that you're going to use to help you take control of your decisions and define your savings to build your future.

12:40This is your first step to looking at your money differently, to see how things truly are going and explore different options for the success you desire. If that sounds like something that you really truly want to explore, book a free Clarity Connection call. You can do that at elevatefinances.us backslash connection. and let's chat about if the retirement roadmap session is the best right step for you or not. I will let you know. Again, you can find that free call at elevatefinances.us backslash connection. Let's recap what we talked about in this episode. You first need to define what overspend means to you.

13:31As you define that, you now have what your true problem is. And then you can start taking action to find the solution. And maybe it is just pausing when that next opportunity presents itself. Remember, we pause, we review it, and we turn to our framework, your budget, and make an informed decision. I hope all of these steps and all of this information will help you take control of your money in a powerful way and leave restriction behind. We need to get rid of the shame, the fears, the worries about spending our money and be able to enjoy what we have worked so hard for. Thank you for listening to this episode, but be sure to tune into the next one.

14:28Thank you for spending this time with me. If you're not already following the show, be sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And I'd love to stay connected with you between episodes. So come join me inside my Facebook community, Retirement Ready Hub for GenXers. It's where we're having real conversations about money, sharing wins, working through challenges, and building a clear path toward retirement. And remember, retirement isn't just a dream, it's a plan, and you get to make it possible.