In short
The “What Fresh Hell” episode “Best of: Grudges Held, Grudges Kept” is a comedic compilation about holding petty grudges as justified, especially “tiny” ones from childhood and parenting. Hosts Margaret Aples and Amy Wilson frame grudges as something to “hold space for,” not resolve.
Guests
No guest speakers appear in this excerpt. The only “guests” are listener mailbag contributors (e.g., Tracy, Naomi, Katie, Tanisha, Kindra J, Jillian, Megan, Kindra J, Kate, Leslie, Carrie, Melissa, Emily, Gretchen, Lillian, Kimberly, Tiffany, Michelle, Sheila, Andrea, Chrissy, Caitlin, Suzanne) whose stories are read.
Key claims
Grudges are valid when the wrong feels personal; Irish-style non-confrontational grudge holding is celebrated; parents and in-laws earn grudges too.
Notable examples
school theme-day outrage (dress-up days); a flute-hit in 5th grade; a Delta website glitch yielding $40 first-class Hawaii flights; a mother-in-law cutting a baby’s hair/cradle cap off; spelling-bee resentments (cappuccino, business); a sip-and-see drink thrown in Megan’s face; a husband melting a McKenzie-Childs tea kettle; kids’ grudges about cake portions, late pickup, and soggy fries.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOThe Justification of Grudges
0:01 to 0:21
Discussing the nature of grudges and their cultural significance.
“That's why customers have enjoyed Progressive's Name Your Price tool for years now.”
The Justification of Grudges
1:02 to 1:48
Discussing the nature of grudges and their cultural significance.
“And today we are talking about grudges held, grudges kept, and are they justified?”
Mailbag: School Theme Days
1:51 to 3:45
Sharing a listener's grudge about ridiculous school theme days.
“This week's mailbag is from Tracy in the Facebook group.”
Stories of Grudges from Childhood
3:52 to 6:00
Hosts share personal stories about grudges held from childhood experiences.
“Before we got to Mailbag, we were talking about being Irish people with grudges.”
Airlines and Spelling Bee Grudges
6:06 to 7:46
Discussion on grudges related to airline mistakes and spelling bee failures.
“One time Delta Airlines website had a glitch and I was able to book two first class flights to Hawaii for$40.”
Family Grudges and Boycotts
7:49 to 10:28
Exploring familial grudges and boycotts that linger over the years.
“One of my best friends from high school, who's still my friend to this day, she and her roommate, like the guy was rude to her roommate at the bodega across the street.”
Spelling Bee Memories and Frustrations
10:30 to 14:01
Hosts recount their own spelling bee experiences and the grudges that followed.
“Kate says she lost the fourth grade spelling bee with the word Jaguar.”
A Spelling Bee Grudge
14:01 to 15:40
A mom recounts her son's spelling bee experience and her reaction to a mistake.
“So anyway, so I'm there for the spelling bee with a bunch of parents, my kid gets the word lightning.”
A Spelling Bee Grudge
15:47 to 16:10
A mom recounts her son's spelling bee experience and her reaction to a mistake.
“The new PayPal app is like that, but for your money.”
Sip and See Traditions
16:10 to 17:52
Discussion about Southern baby shower customs and personal experiences.
“From athletic stuff like a full court pickup game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff like a half mile stroll.”
Show all 24 chapters
A Drink Thrown at a Sip and See
17:52 to 19:15
A story about an incident at a sip and see and the grudges it creates.
“So I really had to highlight this so that I could share the words sip and see with people who are not familiar with this tradition.”
Costume Contest Grudges
19:15 to 20:44
Recollections of childhood costume contests and the unfairness experienced.
“It was between her and another girl at the end of the day.”
Husband Grudges and Kitchen Disasters
20:44 to 22:28
Discussing grudges held over kitchen accidents and their aftermath.
“Amy's husband, not you, a different Amy, different husband crime.”
Childhood Ice Cream Grudges
22:28 to 24:26
Exploring the grudge related to a missed ice cream treat in childhood.
“Have you ruined my like, I would rather have no beautiful teapot than see the ground of like, you did me wrong.”
Mean Kids and Lasting Effects
24:26 to 27:35
Reflecting on how childhood interactions shape adult grudges.
“Even as we grew up, I still always looked at him with a level of suspicion and slight anger.”
Unfulfilled Childhood Wishes
27:35 to 28:01
Discussing the longing for childhood toys and the grudges that arise.
“I have so many of these things you were not allowed to have as kids that other kids had.”
Childhood Grudges: The Easy Bake Oven
28:01 to 28:16
Explore how childhood experiences shape grudges, focusing on the Easy Bake Oven and Crayola crayons.
“But the idea that I was not allowed to have an Easy Bake Oven, I just tried to buy one for my kid for her birthday because that's how bitter I still am that I didn't have one.”
Childhood Grudges: The Easy Bake Oven
28:18 to 30:29
Explore how childhood experiences shape grudges, focusing on the Easy Bake Oven and Crayola crayons.
“But you could bake like a child cake in the Easy Bake Oven.”
Grudges Kids Hold Against Parents
30:42 to 33:32
Discuss the light-hearted grudges kids hold against their parents over trivial matters.
“I am so over underwire bras, but until now I could never find a wireless bra that gave me the right support without the whole like sports bra uniboob effect going on.”
Mother-in-Law Grudges: A Deep Dive
33:32 to 36:20
Examine the deeper grudges related to mothers-in-law, including personal anecdotes.
“I mean, clearly we could do 9 ,000 episodes on reasons that people are mad at their mother's-in-law and really not even begin to scratch the surface of what's going on out there.”
Fashion and Friendship Grudges
36:20 to 39:28
Reflect on how fashion choices among friends can lead to lasting grudges and jealousy.
“Sheila says, I have a grudge against a childhood friend for serving Chex Mix only and playing no music at his wedding reception.”
Small Grudges: The Pumpkin Farm Incident
39:28 to 42:00
A humorous take on small grudges, illustrated by the story of a local pumpkin farm.
“My besties kind of like this, like everything she does is just effortlessly cool.”
Exploring Grudges: Personal Stories
42:00 to 44:34
The hosts share humorous stories about personal grudges and their origins.
“Chrissy says her sister went with her ex-boyfriend to Chrissy's senior prom.”
The Snoopy Snow Cone Machine Grudge
44:34 to 46:52
A discussion about childhood desires and unfulfilled wishes, highlighting the Snoopy Snow Cone Machine.
“I will say, Lillian, Snoopy Snow cone machine.”
Transcript
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0:32Amy Wilson:You don't want to melee at the sip and see. That's a bad look. What fresh hell. Laughing in the face of motherhood. You will need your anger now. With Margaret Aples and Amy Wilson. I'm a journeyman traveler to the world of Southern Ways. A podcast that solves today's parenting dilemmas. So you don't have to. Not my husband. No, he never does anything wrong.
1:02Amy Wilson:Hello and welcome to What Fresh Hell? Laughing in the Face of Motherhood. This is Margaret. And this is Amy. And today we are talking about grudges held, grudges kept, and are they justified? Which I think, yes, they're all justified. Are they justified, parenthesis? Yes. This is very important, Amy, because we're not here to solve these grudges or to be like, it's time to let go or, you know, people make mistakes. We're not here to solve it today. We're just here to get in the mud and revel in some grudges because... Hold space for your grudges. Yes. We're both Irish people. And if there's anything Irish people are known for, it's grudge holding.
1:39It's non-confrontational grudge holding. Right. When I'm going to tell you about it, I'm just going to be mad for 50 years. Exactly. Isn't that better?
1:47Amy Wilson:All right, you get into mailbag before I get into anything else. Oh, yes. Wait a minute. Time for mailbag. Wait, wait, yeah, yeah, yeah. Check the mailbag. This week's mailbag is from Tracy in the Facebook group. You can always find us at facebook.com slash groups slash whatfreshhealthcast. This is a group-led activity. Everybody's been posting the increasingly ridiculous theme days that their schools are having, like dress-up days. I would say, Amy, let's say it. This is a grudge. People are a little annoyed at these schools. Right. This is a grudge related mailbag. And Tracy wins. I think we all agree that Tracy wins.
2:22Her kids class had Monday mixed up chameleon day with like assigned colors like lime green and purple based on your grade. Then Tuesday, brown bear, brown bear day, dress as your favorite animal. Wednesday, hungry caterpillar day, dress as your favorite food. Thursday, the tiny seed day, dress as your favorite plant. Friday character day, dress as your favorite book character. And everybody in the comments was just like, this is a prank. Who hurt you? Like, this is crazy.
2:49Amy Wilson:Dress as your favorite plant. And God bless schools. I always want to stick up for schools. They're trying to make it fun. But this is a nightmare. No child has a favorite plant. My kid came down. I was laughing because it must be, I don't know, it's a national hysteria going on with these theme days. My son came down and said it was funny hat day. And I gave him, I have a big, you know, beach hat, like a giant pink beach hat. And I was like, here, this is funny if it's on you. I mean, that's all you're getting. This is like, it's the great line from Raising Arizona where she says, do you have balloons in funny shapes?
3:25Amy Wilson:And then the guy says, not unless round is funny. And it's like, that's it. I'm like, this here's a hat. It's a crazy hat. If you wear it, that's what makes it crazy. That's a deserved grudge that any school is asking you for this much costumery in the dark of winter. Like it's wrong. We don't support it. We love you schools for trying to be fun. We don't judge you, but this is wrong. Yes. Morally and spiritually, it is wrong. Yes. Before we got to Mailbag, we were talking about being Irish people with grudges. And I wanted to tell a story that we were once in my grandmother's apartment where she lived with her sister who was two years older.
4:04Amy Wilson:My grandmother and her sister were born in 1899 and 1901. We have very long generations in my family. And they were having an argument about a dress. Wait, what year is this? We're like in 1911 we're talking about the dress? No, no, no. This is year like 1992. Oh. Right before they died. Okay. And they're having an argument about a dress. My brother and I were there doing something, fixing something, making dinner. Who knows what we were doing? This was years and years and years ago. in the 90s children. And they were having this argument, you shouldn't have worn the dress. It was mine. The yellow dress really was mine.
4:40Amy Wilson:Mom always said, no, the pink one was yours. And going back and forth. And my brother over their heads looked at me and was like, this happened in 1917. And they were fighting about it in 1991. And like, that's how we roll the Irish. Like if you stole my dress in 1917, you will be hearing about it in 1991. one. I'm going to hold it in my tissues and marrow and bring it up later. And let me just say, respect. Yes. That's how I roll. I like a grudge. I like nursing a grudge. Are there downsides? Maybe some other day we'll be like, you know, is there healing and letting stuff go? That's not what we're doing today.
5:17Amy Wilson:I mean, we're nursing. And these are tiny grudges. We asked our listeners, what's something you've nursed, even though you know you shouldn't have, but darn it, you just can't let it go. Yes, the kid who wouldn't let you sit with them in second grade counts. Yes. And boy, did you deliver. Oh, I mean, we have a lot of tiny micro. These are micro grudges. Okay. Let's start with Naomi. This is just right in the strike zone for us. A kid hit me over the head with a flute in its case in fifth grade. Stay mad. There's no more to the story than that. Stay mad, Naomi. That was wrong. What's that quote from A Wrinkle in Time?
5:48Like, you will need your anger now. Like, stay mad, little Naomi. Exactly. Exactly.
5:54Amy Wilson:Use your anger. Like it's Star Wars, right? Like come to the dark side, feel the anger. That kid should not have done that. Kid should not. We're totally team Naomi. That was absolutely wrong. Katie. Now, this was a good one. One time Delta Airlines website had a glitch and I was able to book two first class flights to Hawaii for$40. I texted my husband, should I do it? And he said he had to work. Then he said they probably wouldn't have honored it anyway, but they did. I should have gone by myself. or literally anybody else, right? Like it seems to me like... Just pick a friend. I've got a$40 first class ticket to Hawaii.
6:30Amy Wilson:I feel like that's a hot ticket. I would never let that go. I would never let that. I don't know how you live with this monster, Katie. I mean, I would never let that go. Then I'd hold a grudge against myself because I definitely would have been like, well, I should buy these, but let me see what the reasonable part of my family thinks. And yeah. And my spouse would be like, yeah, and I would have, yeah, I would have done the same thing. I would have checked with somebody first. I'm a grownup. Buy the tickets. Just buy them. Just buy them. Yeah. I mean, I'm definitely team. This is a marital problem I definitely have, which is my husband's like, well, on the other hand, and I'm like, I'm not always looking for the other side of the equation.
7:04Amy Wilson:There is no other side to a mistake in the Delta Airlines website to spy. Click. Jillian's mom could be our mom, Amy. Okay. My mom goes around banning family members from all the businesses that have wronged her in the past. 30 years ago, she went to a car dealership and they commented something about her husband coming back with her. And she still mentions it to every person who brings up buying a car. Respect, right? This is exactly how we were in the family. Like you would pass a bagel store and be like, that place earned a bagel once and then charge me full price. And I mean, you would do the math and that would have literally happened 14 years ago.
7:39Amy Wilson:But we just would like, you know how people spit on the ground to curse places? Like you would spit on the ground whenever you saw that bagel place. This is not my family's tradition, but. Oh, you know, we used to do this. One of my best friends from high school, who's still my friend to this day, she and her roommate, like the guy was rude to her roommate at the bodega across the street. So they were like, yeah, let's not go there anymore. And then like two years later, my friend found out that her roommate, like she kept up the boycott for like four days because it was the store across the street.
8:06And my friend had been keeping it going, like walking blocks out of her way for two years to hold a grudge on behalf of her friend who had long ago forgotten that that was a thing.
8:15Amy Wilson:Correct. I had that roommate in college who was like, don't tell her anyone who you're mad at. Because I would say like, you know, Amy on the podcast, she hung up on me the other day. And then I would move on. And three years later, she would dog you at a party and just be like glaring at you. Because she was just an ultimate grudge holder. And if you said, oh, my boyfriend, you know, didn't call me back. She would never speak to that person again. I mean, you had to be so careful. If you lit her grudge flame, it was never going out. On a similar theme, I love moms who hold grudges. It just, I don't know why it lights my fire.
8:55Amy Wilson:Tanisha says, my Jamaican mother has boycotted the Chiquita company for over 15 years because they no longer value the Caribbean as a profitable market to distribute to. She would buy all her groceries at one store and buy non-Chiquita bananas from another store. My mother left Jamaica in 1978 and hasn't lived there since. I still totally support your mom, Tanisha, all for this kind of stuff. How could the Caribbean not be a good banana market? Think about the daiquiris being sold at all the resorts all over the Caribbean. It's a mystery. We have not reached out to the Chiquita Company for comments.
9:28Amy Wilson:So please be clear that we do not know the factual basis. This might not even be true. They might totally value the Caribbean at this point, but Tanisha's mom doesn't care. That can be kind of the boycott that I love, which is just like your friend with the bodega. It's like I'm holding a grudge on something. I don't even remember the origins of this. But recently I had an event and my sister came down in an orange dress, which is the color of the English during the Troubles in Ireland. And my dad was like, what kind of Irish girl wears an orange dress? Like he still he was just like he wasn't really mad, but he was kind of taken aback.
10:06Amy Wilson:Why would you ever wear the color of the country we were in conflict with, you know, 50 years ago and that we were not directly involved in? But it was just funny. Like, you know. And he wasn't there. He wasn't there, but it does go on. Like, he just was like, I don't understand why you would buy slash wear an orange dress. I like it. Hold those grudges, people. Yeah. Hold those grudges. Kate, I can identify with this one. Kate says she lost the fourth grade spelling bee with the word Jaguar. There were two of us left. I would have won people, she says. Can I tell you when I saw this on the list, I was like, this is an Amy Wilson grudge for the ages.
10:42Amy Wilson:Like, I know this is going to light you up. Oh, well, because this is me, right? I did the spelling bee a couple of years. My sister was like spelling bee champ, went to national. She was on ESPN. She was like top 10 in the country. Molly. How did I not know that fun fact? Amazing. You go, Molly. I mean, crazy because she's 10 years younger than me. That tracks from what I know about Molly. That works. Yeah, yeah. She's super smart. But it was crazy because it was the I remember well, I was living in New York. It was the first year that the spelling bee was on ESPN, but it was still long enough ago that there weren't cell phones or like doctors had cell phones and that was it.
11:14So I knew it was going to be on ESPN. And so I like I just put it on to see what was happening. And there's my sister on TV. Like I screamed the whole neighborhood must have hurt me and like it was happening right then. Being on TV when we were children was the most exciting thing that could ever happen to you. When everybody didn't have a videotape in their pocket and there was no social media. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
11:32Amy Wilson:Like it was up to somebody else. It was so unusual. Like if you had said to someone, I was on TV once, like everyone would stop in the room to hear that story. Now it's like, if you haven't been on TV, I don't know what's wrong with you. Yes. The word she got out on was gongerism, which is one of those annoying spelling bee words because it's spelled exactly like it sounds. Like, I think she tried to, like, get cute with it, but it was G-O-N-G-O-R-I-S-M, gongerism. I think she, like, tried to put, like, a Y in there or something. The spelling bee is wild. If you've never watched it, it's like words you've never, never heard of.
12:00They've never heard of. Do you know the definition of gongerism? No, but the funny thing is she was also on SportsCenter, ESPN SportsCenter, the next morning. They showed her, like, gongerism, G-O-N. And then they were like, that ball is gongerism. And they, like, showed a clip of a guy hitting a home run. So then she had, can you imagine your seventh grade cred? They were roasting her. But the boys also were on SportsCenter because people still, you know.
12:23Amy Wilson:Oh, so it was a win. I was afraid that she went and everybody was like for the rest of her life goofing on her. No, she was a star. But I never got as far as this. I never got out of like the town spelling bee. In seventh grade, I lost with the word cappuccino, which was I always say like there was no Starbucks back then. This was years before Starbucks. It was definitely the first time I had ever heard this word. And there's two P's and two C's in cappuccino. And you know why I hold the grudge to this day? Because the number of freaking coffee shops that spell cappuccino wrong. That's hilarious.
12:53It's like two thirds do. And I'm like, you don't know.
12:55Amy Wilson:Why was I supposed to know I was a 13 year old? I didn't know it. As Britney Spears says, that is just so typically you. Like you walking through New York. You spelled it wrong and you spelled it wrong. Angrily glaring at cappuccino signs is peak Amy Wilson. This was a popular theme. Leslie got out on the word bureau. Uh-huh. Carrie got out on the word exercise. Yes. And then Melissa and I share. Now, we used to have in-school spelling bees. I was never in the big leagues like you, Wilson. So I was never playing for keeps. I wasn't heading for ESPN. I'm talking about my first grade Mrs. O 'Works classroom spelling bee every Friday that I would obsess about all week and then cry about all weekend if I didn't win.
13:37Amy Wilson:I got out on the word business, as did Melissa. And to this day, I said it to my kids four days ago. Bus-I-ness. That's how you spell business. And I will never forget it again. I mean, I could spell that word till the day I die. Okay. I have one more spelling bee story. Okay. So maybe three years ago, my kid is in a grade school spelling bee at school and the parents could go because this was in the before times when parents were allowed to show up at school for fun stuff. Remember that? So anyway, so I'm there for the spelling bee with a bunch of parents, my kid gets the word lightning. He spells it L-I-G-H-T-N-I-N-G.
14:11Ding. I'm sorry, that's wrong. And he goes and sits down and I'm sitting there in the audience, like, slowly rising from your seat. Right. Like, I don't want to be that mom, but my kid is out and that's how you spell lightning. I like don't know what to do. And I read her. I went over to the teacher at the end of the row and I'm like,
14:32Amy Wilson:I don't think anyone is surprised to know that what you did was slowly rise and walk over. Spelled that correctly, actually. The teacher's like, I know. So they stopped the spelling bee, you know, and they're like, actually, that is spelled correctly. Whoever was in charge thought it was spelled L-I-G-H-T-E-N-I-N-G. That's if you're bleaching, you know, your face, you're using lightening cream. And so he got to rejoin the spelling bee and then got out in the next word. So, you know. That's probably for the best. It's probably good that he didn't win the championships after his mom intervened. Even though you were correct, I still think it's for the best.
15:08Amy Wilson:I didn't want to be still holding the grudge, so I decided to speak up. We're going to be back with even more tiny grudges. Blowing ad budget on metrics that look great till the CFO sees them. That's bull spend. And marketers are calling it out in Dashboard Confessions. I remember telling my boss, it'll be good for the brand when leads were slow. Yeah, it wasn't. Cut the bowl spend. LinkedIn lets you target by company, job title, and more. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend$250 on your first campaign and get a$250 credit. Go to linkedin.com slash campaign. Terms and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by PayPal.
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16:25Amy Wilson:From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. Amy, do you know what a sip and see is? It's a baby shower after the baby's born. It's a baby shower that happens in the South after the baby is born, I must say. I had never heard the term sip and see until I married a Texan. And if you're like Jewish, you don't have baby showers because it's bad luck to like get presents and stuff for the baby before the baby's born, at least for some Jewish people. But a sip and see, is it like we had it from my sister-in-law because she was on bed rest. Is a sip and see sort of always a thing or is it like it's just an option that's available?
16:53Amy Wilson:So I'm a journeyman traveler to the world of Southern ways because I married a Texan, which I'm not even going to begin the whole debate about whether or not Texas is south. But as far as I can tell, you do a full baby shower with like themes, colors, and like you have to in triplicate writing, sign off on what your like themes and colors are going to be, which was slightly problematic for me because I was like, our theme is have a baby and raise it, you know, which is not a correct theme. And then after the baby is born, you do another giant party that involves a whole nother round of excitement.
17:28Amy Wilson:I might hold a grudge about that if I had to go to two open baby presents parties for one baby. I don't know. It's all a blur now. I don't know if you even get presents at the Sip and See. It might just be an excuse to like gather the ladies and look at the baby. Okay. Again, we're not doing these anymore, guys. It's like germy mess of a nightmare. Right. We did do a sip and see with one of my children. So I really had to highlight this so that I could share the words sip and see with people who are not familiar with this tradition. It's sip your drink and see the baby. I feel obligated to say it.
18:02Amy Wilson:Correct. Sip your drink. See the. There you go. You've cracked the code. Good job. You speak Texan now, Amy. Yeah, yeah. Megan says a girl threw a drink on me at my daughter's sip and see. And I couldn't throw her butt in the pool because my parents and in-laws were staring right at me. I mean, we don't get a lot of backstory here, but she says she cannot let it go. And I don't know what causes someone to throw a drink in someone's face at their sip and see, but I think I would hold on to that. I mean, she's one of the guests of honor. It's also your daughter's sip and see. I had to like do like a pie, like a chart in my head, like an org chart to understand.
18:37So it was your own baby sip and see and somebody threw a drink on you, but you couldn't throw her in the pool because your parents and your in-laws were watching.
18:44Amy Wilson:Yeah, I guess you don't want to melee at the sip and see. That's a bad look. No. Inciting incident. Megan, we need more information. I need the inciting incident. Exactly. We need a full investigative podcast. Maybe that will be our next spinoff podcast. What the heck happened at Megan's sip and see? I'm going to need a little more information with Margaret Abels and Amy Wilson. We need like Amy with the wall with the red strings being like, so what happened is? Yes. Cheryl came in. She had been dating Bob. Like whatever happened here, we need to get to the bottom of it. But yes, you should definitely hold a grudge.
19:15Amy Wilson:It's terrible. Sometimes you have all the information you need, like Kindra J, who tells us that she had a competition in fourth grade to build an icebox at home and bring it to school to see whose ice cube had melted least by the end of the day. It was between her and another girl at the end of the day. Kindra J's ice cube was clearly bigger and the teacher said the other girls was. What the heck? I mean, hold on to that grudge. Similarly, I've talked about how my mom was an amazing costume maker when we were kids. For Halloween, and yes. And we were in a costume contest and she had spent, you know, four months on this, I think, clown outfit for my brother that involved like stuffed clown shoes that were like these stuffed shoes that went that she handmade, you know, that went over his shoes.
Read the full transcript
20:01Amy Wilson:And like she had dyed a mop red to make like a red funny wig. I mean, flawless. And she lost. She lost. I mean, my brother lost. But let's be honest, my mom lost to a kid who was like dressed as a box of French fries or something. And it came out later that they thought that my brother's costume was store bought. And that's why they didn't give him the award. It was too good. It was too good. And let me tell you, talk about investigative podcast. My mom tried to get to the bottom of that one for years. She was like, I want names. I want names. Let's talk about this judging committee. Yeah. I want background information.
20:40Amy Wilson:Like she was not going to let that one rest. And she wasn't wrong. It was a horrible crime against her. But yeah, that one didn't go down easy. Amy's husband, not you, a different Amy, different husband crime. Not my husband. No, he never does anything wrong. Never, except for the omelet pan. Her husband dented her brand new crock pot. She gave him crap about it for years. Eventually, she was given a new one. Do you still hold a grud, Jamie? Are you still mad that he dented it even though you've gotten a new one? Well, she's writing about it on Facebook. She hasn't let it go. I think she should let it go now that she has a new crockpot.
21:12Amy Wilson:And I mean, respect. I had a teapot. You know, I love my tea. I'm having my tea right now. I had a teapot from McKenzie Childs, which if you know, you know, it's like a very fancy kind of ceramic-y pottery brand. And we happened to go in the summers to the Mackenzie Child outlet where you can get deals. And so I found this teapot that I was in love with, in love with, in love with. They're gorgeous. They're like Alice in Wonderland. And when I say, I'm saying tea kettle, not teapot. It was a kettle that went on the stove. And so my husband at one point turned my tea kettle on, I believe, I can't remember what, and then went to work.
21:52Amy Wilson:And so like six hours later, first of all, the house almost burned down. And second of all, my pot was completely melted. And I'm going to say I haven't really let go of it. Has he replaced it? So this is how I hold a grudge. I was like, I don't even want another one. Now I have an electric tea kettle. That's probably better. But no, he hasn't replaced it. I don't know. I don't even want another one. It was my special thing. I'm holding on. Now I'm mad too. I don't even want another one now. Forget it. That's how I am. I am really a grudge holder. I'm like, if I let him replace my teapot, which he could have done in 10 seconds, it would have gladly done to get off the hook.
22:27Amy Wilson:I see the moral high ground. Have you ruined my like, I would rather have no beautiful teapot than see the ground of like, you did me wrong. This reminds me of my husband for Valentine's Day this year. He said, I got you something. It's really small and it's not here yet, but it was Valentine's Day. So I said, OK, what is it? I have one coffee cup that I love to use that we're not even really sure where it came from. It just sort of showed up in our house and it's this China cup and I just love it. and I drink my coffee out of it. And he said, I was so worried that like one day I was going to break it, handling it, like something would happen to it that I bought you another one.
23:01So I wouldn't be in trouble for breaking it. Oh, that's very thoughtful. That's an anti-grudge. Yeah. He's planning ahead for when he dents the crock pot.
23:09Amy Wilson:He already has another one lined up behind it. Yeah. He should behind the scenes call my husband and give him some pointers because he should have probably had a backup teapot. Consider it done. Tiffany was in fifth grade. Back to fifth grade. They had a special ice cream treat for school. Yeah. All day she was looking forward to putting crushed cookies on her ice cream, only to have another kid in the class take the last of them. She was two people away. She saw it happen. She literally watched it happen in front of her. What I like is grudges, like where literally no one is at fault. This is the ultra tiny grudge because...
23:43Amy Wilson:This is really tiny. My husband lit my beloved teapot on fire. He is to blame and therefore the grudge is valid. What I like even more is the grudge where this kid had no idea that two kids behind him in line, he was dashing Tiffany's hopes of getting the right kind of ice cream. First of all, what kind of school? I mean, what a world that in fifth grade someone was having an ice cream bar at school. What a wonderland. They must have raised the most money for UNICEF or something. It must have been a really special achievement. Who knows what was going on at this Wonderland school? I mean, magical.
24:20Amy Wilson:But it didn't help Tiffany this day when the kid two in front of her took the last. She even says the kid that didn't wasn't a mean kid, but I never liked him after that. Right. Even as we grew up, I still always looked at him with a level of suspicion and slight anger. This is the perfect kind of grudge because it's like. I get it. Yeah, because he has no idea. Yeah. He didn't do it on purpose. Unlike Emily's friend from high school, a guy who she had a huge crush on at the time, asked her if she liked a band, this certain band. And being the silly teenage girl Emily was, she said, yes, oh my gosh, I love them.
24:53And he said, oh, I just made them up because I knew you would say yes to be cool. She says she was so mortified and she's still bitter 35 years later.
24:59Amy Wilson:I mean, I want to judge this guy, but I definitely used to do this to my little sister. I definitely used to. Siblings are different. Siblings are just like... I know. It's the cruelty crucible. this is such a classic mean kid move like oh do you like this band blah blah blah do you like this band dead spider and it's like are you kidding me dead spider is my favorite i've had there is no band dead spider you loser like what this you can legit hold a grudge you're a band it's bad i'm having like a flashback a grade school flashback i remember like one of the mean girls in my class asking me if i liked the band who sang hot stuff and i was like sure i do and she said it's not a band.
25:35It's Donna Summer. It was a solo artist. And I was like, no, you got me on a technicality. Yeah. Yes. But I was totally embarrassed. Yeah. Remembering this. Yeah. This is a thing people do. Apparently catch you in a lie. Catch you like in a band that doesn't exist. Ha ha.
25:49Amy Wilson:Let's level up this example of Emily's with Gretchen's. All right. Someone in my class teased me during math. He ended up becoming a rock star later. And every time I heard his hit, I-ger. I mean, she maybe gets some satisfaction from the fact that he's a one-hit wonder and is well known for being a jerk. But this is incredible. Episode two of I'm going to need some more information here with Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson is who was this rock star? I'm going to say if you want a deep dive on the What Fresh Hell podcast page, you may be able to get to the bottom of that mystery. Okay. We're not going to call him out here because that's not what What Fresh Hell is about.
26:26Amy Wilson:Yeah, yeah. But I'm going to say the answer is out there. If you want to get your red string out and be against the wall, being like, who? But I definitely find this. I always think about that. And I feel like they've made movies about it. Like what happens when like the weird kid, you know, goes on to become famous and you're like, that's the kid who was mean to me. I had this. My bully in grammar school's mom was on a soda commercial when I was young. Which, as you said, just to reestablish which means she was like basically the Queen of England, like who could ever even know somebody so famous?
27:00Yes. Yeah. I mean, Meghan Markle, take a seat.
27:02Amy Wilson:Like this is true celebrity. Right, right. And it haunted me. Like when I saw that commercial on TV, it was like someone reaching through the TV and stabbing me. The idea that I don't know that your enemy just had this like ace card that they would always be able to play, that their mother was in a soda commercial. Jill? I just was so like jealous, rageful, hurt to see like, how can this family be thriving when the kid makes fun of me on the bus? Like it just seemed, I don't know. It just felt like taunting me through the airwaves. I mean, I can't describe it. It was just a grudge. Amy, let's talk about because I love this one as well.
27:37Amy Wilson:I have so many of these things you were not allowed to have as kids that other kids had. Lillian's best friend had a Snoopy snow cone machine. She was never allowed to have one. Her husband got her one for her 30th birthday. It's really a sweet gift. Oh, it's so good because they were so... Mine was Easy Bake Ovens. We were not allowed to have them. I mean, they were house fires waiting to happen and they were childhood burns waiting to happen. I mean, they were not a good idea fundamentally. But the idea that I was not allowed to have an Easy Bake Oven, I just tried to buy one for my kid for her birthday because that's how bitter I still am that I didn't have one.
28:11We have some youngs listening. The Easy Bake Oven, And it was a toy oven that was a light bulb, right? It was powered by a light bulb. And you got special cake mixes with it, which I don't know what you did when you ran out of the two cake mixes because there was no internet to figure out how to get more. You threw it away. Yeah. But you could bake like a child cake in the Easy Bake Oven. And it just was, it probably didn't turn out like the ad, but boy, it sure looked amazing.
28:32Amy Wilson:Yeah, it didn't taste good. And 90 % of the time it involved some sort of flesh burn, but it was still like the best thing to have. And then Kimberly says to Lily, and that reminds her of her husband telling me that he still holds a grudge against his parents for never buying him a giant box of Crayola crayons with a sharpener. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bought one for my son a couple of weeks ago, and he told me to make sure it's on full display when his mom comes over. In your face, mom. Yeah. I mean, I definitely the list of things that we did not have as children. I hold on to them deeply. I got every Christmas morning, my grandmother, my tweet tweet grandmother, Mary Connor Wilson, she would give us all an orange.
29:14And I think some money, it might have been$20 or something, and a new box of 64 Crayola crayons with a sharpener on the back. And I mean, you can take the money, that new box of crayons. That was living. Oh, yeah.
29:27Amy Wilson:So good. We'll be right back with even more small grudges. You all know I am not a lotions and potions type. I want my skincare to be simple, clean, and effective. So let me tell you about my latest secret, Osea. It's clean, seaweed-powered skincare from the sea. Osea has been providing award-winning, best-selling skincare for 30 years. Their clinically tested products have quickly become my new go-to for everyday skincare. At night, I'm using the Dream Bio-Retinol Body Serum. I put it on right after I get out of the shower. And the lavender scent is perfect to put me in the right headspace to go to sleep.
30:11Amy Wilson:It's fast absorbing and deeply moisturizing with none of that greasy feel. It's lightweight, silky, and will leave your skin glowing. Infused with vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, Osea products make a difference after just one use. Guys, I really love it. Go to oseamalibu.com and get 10 % off your first order with code FRESH. That's O-S-E-A, Malibu.com, code FRESH. I am so over underwire bras, but until now I could never find a wireless bra that gave me the right support without the whole like sports bra uniboob effect going on. And then I found Honey Love. Amy, same. The Honey Love X Balance Bra isn't anything like your average wireless bra.
31:03Amy Wilson:You know how seriously, friends, I take being cozy. The X-Balance bra, I'm here to tell you, it's like a soft hug. And then the signature X design at the center gives you real lift and no more uni-boob separation. I love it. It is no, I wear Honey Love every single day from structured dresses to thin t-shirts. The X-Balance bra is so comfortable to wear. It looks good and everything. It is my go-to bra. And we love Honey Love because they are an independent female-founded brand with products designed by the women who actually wear them. You can't say that about a lot of bras, Amy. Treat yourself to the most advanced bras and shapewear on the market.
31:43Use our exclusive link to save 20 % off Honey Love at HoneyLove.com slash fresh.
31:48Amy Wilson:That's HoneyLove.com slash fresh. After you check out, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Experience the new standard in comfort and support with Honeylove. And now, grudges your kids hold against you. From the What Fresh Health podcast. Sure, you got each of your children half a dozen perfectly sourced gifts over the holidays. But then in January, you gave the younger one a slightly larger piece of cake. That won't be forgotten. Ever. According to your kid, he could have definitely made the NBA if it wasn't for your family's short jeans.
32:29Grudge level? Huge.
32:31Amy Wilson:Yeah, your kid who can't remember to shut the front door, they will definitely remember the day you were 15 minutes late for pickup because you were binging Love Island and forgot the time. Forever. Four birthdays ago, your daughter wanted an LOL surprise doll. You got her an LOL color change pet. You will never live that down. You made soggy french fries last month at dinner. Every time you make fries for the next five years, your children will say, I sure hope these aren't soggy. That time you insisted they turn off Fortnite and made them lose a battle royale they were about to crush? Yeah, their college roommates will be hearing about that.
33:10Amy Wilson:You told your kids they couldn't have dessert and then they caught you in the pantry eating cookies. You're busted, Mom, and this grudge isn't going anywhere. This has been grudges your kids hold against you from the What Fresh Hell podcast.
33:30Amy Wilson:Amy, it shan't surprise you to find out that the mother-in-laws did not come out real well in the grudges category. I mean, clearly we could do 9 ,000 episodes on reasons that people are mad at their mother's-in-law and really not even begin to scratch the surface of what's going on out there. We have talked about mothers-in-law before. We both are lucky to have excellent mothers-in-law in our lives. Yes, yes, we are. But we're going to start with Michelle because this one drops all the rest of them. Like, and nothing else even is in this category. Michelle's mother-in-law showed up to her wedding in a black dress and told people she was in mourning.
34:08Amy Wilson:I probably thought that was hilarious. Not a tiny grudge. No, no, no. Yeah, that's a major grudge. I don't think, that's more of a this can't be fixed episode, I would say. That's beyond the scope of this podcast episode. Correct. We cannot even begin to unpack that here. But I will say I want to make, what do you call a public service announcement at this juncture, Amy? Please do. Mothers-in-law everywhere, do not cut your grandchildren's hair without permission. This seems to be a leading factor in grudges. I love my mother-in-law and she kind of did this. She didn't cut my baby's hair, but when my oldest was a baby, he had all, he had a sweet little bit head of baby hair and he also had a lot of cradle cap.
34:49And we went out like to dinner or something for the night and she watched him and we came home. He was maybe four months old. And she said, I just like, I just got at it and I got rid of all his cradle cap. And he, she had also gotten rid of all his hair. So we came, we went away with like a, a hair baby with, with cradle cap admittedly and came back to a baby with, with neither cradle cap nor hair, which I held a grudge about. I don't anymore. He has hair, so it's all good, but it was from a place of love.
35:13Amy Wilson:Yeah, it's a mind strewn minefield out there. The other thing I would say is that mother's in law, one of your first assignments, I had this in reverse. Learn to spell your daughter in law's name right up front. Just get on that. Wow. Yes. Because if you and also call your daughter in law by what she wants to be called by. My mother in law has a common name that is spelled slightly unusually. And I think the first maybe two times that I wrote something down, I spelled it incorrectly. You got to lock in on the correct spelling of the name. And then if your daughter-in-law has not changed her name, that is her name.
35:50Amy Wilson:So you don't use the husband's name if she has not changed her name. Just commit to everybody's name they want to be called. I don't care what that person wants to be called. What do you want to be called? How is it spelled? Lean in. That's my advice from the mother-in-law grudges. Alexandra Billings said this on Facebook and she was so right. Like if we can call somebody The Rock, then we can like just call people who want to be called. That's really that's well said. Yeah. Let's just get on that page. It's not that's not the hill to die on people. This is a funny grudge. And I have a similar one.
36:23Amy Wilson:Sheila says, I have a grudge against a childhood friend for serving Chex Mix only and playing no music at his wedding reception. that lasted longer than his actual marriage did. I am truly a petty Betty about this. Sheila, I need to understand where else could have you been that night? I guess that's where the grudge comes from. Like it was a boring wedding reception, but could you have washed your hair? Gotta push back. Gotta push back. Like, I think a bad party is unacceptable. Like, don't make me put a bra on to come eat Chex Mix. Like, it's, I will say my wedding was extremely long because we had a Catholic mass.
36:58Amy Wilson:And I know there was definitely some feelings about the fact that my wedding service was an hour and 15 minutes long. Like people who are not used to that, they don't want to sit through it. No. Mine was also extremely lengthy and on the hottest day of that year. It was north of 90 degrees in the church. And we did the full on pomp and circumstance. We're talking coronation, Buckingham Palace. Sorry, guys. You're going to be here for a while. It's Catholic. Exactly. Sit down. Get comfy. We're going to be here for a while. I went to a party once that involved, again, it was kind of, I had gotten dressed up and it was years and years ago.
37:38Amy Wilson:And I got there and then it was a million rules. You have to go move your car. You parked it in the wrong spot. And then finally got in and it was all vegan, no alcohol. And I just feel like that should be disclosed beforehand. I'm fine if you want to invite me to your all vegan, no alcohol, very high maintenance parking event. Right, right, right, right. I can make my own decision, but that shouldn't be a surprise party. It should be disclosed in advance. Now, if it's a wedding, you've got a different situation because you probably have to go. But yeah, I definitely had some feelings about having driven and gotten dressed up and then being trapped at a vegan, no alcohol party that I thought was a regular party.
38:24Amy Wilson:I love the term petty betty. That really works for me. Let's all be petty betties. You do have to wonder, like, to not have music at a wedding, like, you have to work hard to do that at this point. I mean, stick an iPhone, like, in a large bowl, and then you've got a speaker. Yeah, I assume it maybe was some sort of, you know, religious thing or something. There has to be a choice. Maybe it was. A silent meditation retreat reception. I love Andrea. My cousin and her best friend were always more stylish than me. So the cousin best friend is one person. This is a hyphenate, I believe. Is that correct?
38:55Yes. Okay. Just setting that in the... Okay. I can picture it.
38:57Amy Wilson:One day, my grandma bought me a cool red track suit and my cousin loved it. I felt awesome that I had done something good in the fashion department. Wait for it. The next day, my cousin came over and had bought herself an even cooler red track suit. I told her I loved it, but it stabbed me in the heart and still does to this day. She's still one of my best friends. So I guess this grudge qualifies as tiny. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and the easiest path to a grudge held for a long time. Yeah, for sure. My besties kind of like this, like everything she does is just effortlessly cool.
39:33Amy Wilson:And I definitely was always slightly living in the shadow of her fabulous coolness. And definitely if I had bought a tracksuit, I don't know that she would have bought the tracksuit, but she would have definitely looked cooler in the tracksuit. You know, sometimes it's like, did you ever know that you're my hero? Like she was, I'm the wind beneath her wings. That's I got to just settle for. It must have been cold there in her shadow. It was cold. It was ice cold. And yeah, the tracksuit. I also got to bask in the warmth of her glory. So listen, you make choices. The saddest part of this is it's from the very person, like I'm picturing you, your best friend slash cousin comes over and is like, oh, I love your tracksuit.
40:10and you're like, yes, I did something right for once because this person gave me her approval. That's what really hurts. Her approval of your choice meant more than anything else in the world. And then she approved it so much she copied it.
40:23Amy Wilson:It's a stab to the heart, as she says all these years later. Suzanne says, when we were teenagers, similar theme. My slightly older sister, two years, would always give me grief about my makeup style. She then took my favorite eyeshadow on her senior trip to Hawaii for a week without asking, still mad. That stuff was like$7.99 at the drugstore. You don't get your allowance for another week? What are you supposed to do? Listen, wet and wild. That's what we had. Wet and wild. I mean, it's classic. Sisters, Bart, that's what my grandmother and her sister were still mad about 70 years later. Like, sisters taking your stuff.
41:02Amy Wilson:And I remember I was applying for a job once. And one of the questions were, if we were to ask your closest people about your negative qualities, what would it be? And I came home and I was talking to my sisters. And I said, that was a really weird question. Like, if we were to ask people closest to you what your negative qualities, what would it be? And I was I said that sometimes I can't remember. I said something vaguely complimentary of myself. Like sometimes I'm just too great. You know, like that kind of answer. I love too much. Right, right, right. Sometimes I love too much. And my sisters were both like, it's that you borrow our stuff and ruin it and are careless with other people's things.
41:41Amy Wilson:And they were just like completely united in their verdict that I didn't have to sidebar first. Right. They were like, there's no discussion here. They're like, give me that guy's number. I'm going to call him back. It's not that you love too much. It's that you like take my sweater and when you give it back, it's got a large hole in it that you haven't mentioned. Guilty as charged. Grudge away, people. This is a good one. Chrissy says her sister went with her ex-boyfriend to Chrissy's senior prom. She's three years younger. So, okay. So this younger sister is a freshman. It's Chrissy who's the senior.
42:12The younger sister takes Chrissy's ex to Chrissy's prom. Also set her wedding date to a month before Chrissy's. This can't be fixed.
42:22Amy Wilson:No, can't be fixed. This is not a small, small grudge. What is a small grudge is Caitlin's husband is still angry at a local pumpkin farm because the guy told him a squash from the$1 table was$5. And then had a little attitude when Caitlin's husband put it back. Every time we drive by, the husband announces, I hate that pumpkin farm. It's been 10 years. That's a truly small grudge. I hate that squash farm. I love that. It's like, this was from the$1 table. This squash, like a squash related beef is just something you need to ask some hard questions when you're having a squash related beef with someone.
42:56Amy Wilson:Caitlin also, she has another grudge for herself. She never got to be Mary in the Christmas pageant. Oh, that's a burn. That's a serious burn. Yeah, my kids have all gone through school without none of them were Mary or Joseph or the baby Jesus. I was really chuffed about that. They pick there's a real baby to be a baby Jesus in the pageant every year at my kids grade school. But they definitely choose the baby by sort of being like, I'm like, who is a baby? And so the year that my youngest daughter was two months old, she would have been perfect to be the baby. And instead, they gave it to another baby who was like 10 months old and who like was taking out her pacifier and like trying to climb down and like, you know, crawl away.
43:33So that like, come on, come on.
43:35Amy Wilson:You should have been slowly walking around holding that baby up for like a month before that pageant, you know? Yeah. I couldn't believe we didn't get the look for that. I'm still mad. Stay mad. Outrage. Passed over. That's your inner actress coming out. You're like, We were perfect for the cast and they went with someone else. Right. Right. I timed my ovulation precisely to get a baby Jesus in this pageant. How very dare you. I know. Well, I feel like there are so many we're going to have to do a part two of this. Yeah. I mean, there are a million, a million tiny things that you all are holding on to.
44:12Amy Wilson:And I love that for you. And I don't want to correct you at all. It looks great on you. It looks great on you. You wake up every day and you choose violence and rage. And I respect it highly. Just like us. Just like us. The$1 squash table, I'll be thinking about that for like three months. I just love it. Like that pumpkin farm tried to do us wrong over that squash. Love it for Caitlin's husband. I'm going to remember Lillian's ice cream cone machine desire. I will say, Lillian, Snoopy Snow cone machine. We were the same. We were not allowed to have. My mom, correctly again, was very against anything that involved food out of the kitchen, as we've discussed.
44:49Amy Wilson:So the Snoopy Snow Cone Machine and the Easy Bake Oven were both out by definition from the jump because they would have involved us messing around with food in our rooms. So they were dead on arrival. Plus, like you had an oven and a blender already. You didn't really need your like separately branded. Doesn't work as well. Yeah, we never even got down to that level of logic. But you're absolutely right. But I agree that like I can sing you the Snoopy Snow Cone Machine theme. Its name is the Snoopy Snow Cone Machine. and I still get bitter when it jumps into my head because I never had a Snoopy snow cone machine.
45:23Amy Wilson:The theme song for the Snoopy ice cone machine just says its name is the Snoopy ice cone machine. Okay, Amy, if you want to go there, no, I was just trying to give you the brief version, but it goes, you put ice cubes in and get a snow cone out. Yum, yum, fun is what it's all about. Come on, did it take them like five minutes to write that song? I mean, you have a new grudge against the theme songwriters. Did you know that wherever you're listening right now, you could just like pause this episode and you can share it. If you're listening from your phone, you could share this right now. You could send it to the rock star who was mean to you in fifth grade.
45:59You could share it to your friend who borrowed your Snoopy ice cone machine and then broke it and or never gave it back.
46:05Amy Wilson:You could, although you probably deleted their number already. Yes. Or your sister who took your boyfriend to the prom, to your prom. Look on the app on your phone and you will see a share button. and then you can just text it, email it, share it however you want with friends and say, check this out. It's a great podcast. Would you do that today? We would love that. And then we'll never have a grudge against you. No, we love our listeners. No, I mean, we might have slight grudges against a couple of non-sharers, but we're not going to publicize it. Friends, nurse those grudges out there. I loved this episode.
46:36Amy Wilson:It really made me laugh today. Let's do a part two. Thanks for listening.
46:49Amy Wilson:Thank you to Osea for sponsoring the show. Go to oseamalibu.com and get 10 % off your first order with code FRESH. That's O-S-E-A Malibu dot com code FRESH.
From the publisher
Is it rational to still be mad about that time in second grade when the kid right in front of you took the last sprinkles at the ice cream social?
Is it reasonable to think just a little less of your childhood friend for serving Chex Mix at his wedding?
Ours is not to reason why. This episode isn't here to tell you whether you all should be maintaining these grudges so carefully. It's here to hold space for them all. Stay angry, Hellions!
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