BEST OF: What Kind of Monster?

20:30Amy Wilson:We're all sitting there watching it. And someone's phone rang and they picked it up and they were like, hey, sorry, I'm just at the theater. Hold on. Let me walk out and we can talk. Oh, my God. And then like stood up and continued their conversation while they like stood up and walked out of the theater. I have definitely been on stage when this happens. I've been in the audience when this happens. And as a performer, I think what these people don't get is like you're not at the Hall of Presidents at Disney World, like the actors on stage can also hear you. Like not only are you completely distracting everybody in the audience, but you're ruining the play.

21:03Like the actors are like, oh, my God, somebody just answered their phone.

21:06Amy Wilson:That's right. You kind of think you're at the movies, like you're mistaken about where you are. Yes. I have a funny story about that, which is that on the topic of like people not understanding that like there's a real experience going on. I was at a book festival once in L.A. I will say this story is also an old deluxe alert. back in my day. And we saw this actress, Jane Seymour. Do you know who that is? She used to star on a show called Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. I do. And she walked up to the booth that we were standing by. And my friend was pointing at her and she was like, that's that lady from Dr.

21:40Amy Wilson:Quinn Medicine Woman. And I'm like, yeah, she can hear and see you. She's standing right next to her. Her finger was like right in her face. And she was like, I was like, that's not a wax figure. That's a human being who can see you. And I think that that I'm sure that Dr. Quinn medicine woman would have been like, what kind of monster points in my face and screams? That's Dr. Quinn medicine woman. But like she literally did not really cognitively understand that, like, that's just a human being. Yeah. It's not just like suddenly a wax figure has popped up in our lives. Yeah. Of a celebrity. Yeah.

22:11Amy Wilson:Don't talk at plays. Don't answer phones. So understandable, but still monstrous. That's what we're saying. I think about most of these things fall into the category of understandable yet monstrous. Kelly says this is one that like it's my life's work to correct this. She says, what kind of monster ignores the line of traffic patiently waiting to emerge and drives directly to the front of the line? This caused some hot controversy, some hot takes on the Facebook page. Really? Because people were arguing that, in fact, in driver's ed, what they teach you. I think we're talking about two different things.

22:42Amy Wilson:is like when you come to a merge, you're supposed to zipper merge, one car, then the next car, then one car, then the next. That's an efficient merge system. Yes. But we're talking about people who, there's already a zipper merge going on and they decide to create a new lane of merging where they come around the people correctly zippering and come to the front. Well, they cause troubles for everyone because like I'm thinking of a particular exit always gets backed up a lot. And people are waiting for half a mile to make this exit on the highway. And then somebody zips up to where they exit. And then everybody's like, not today.

23:14I am not letting you in.

23:16Amy Wilson:Not today, Satan. It's not happening. Right. Back off. Right. I will say, I mean, this is the problem with playing What Kind of Monster, Amy. There's always another side to the story. Like I have often we live in the suburbs of New York City and often we're driving in on kind of unfamiliar roads. And then you're like, oh, let's go around this traffic. And then you're like, oh, no, that traffic was actually the traffic trying to get off the exit. than I now have to get off of. Right. And suddenly you're that person. Suddenly you are that person. That's right. You're trying to get in and you want a little sign for your window that says like, not a monster, just confused.

23:51Amy Wilson:Right. At that point. We should sell those. I'd buy one. Let's sell back of the screen. Like just a little sign that any given time you can pull out that reads, not a monster, just confused. Because I feel like there's a lot of confusion that goes into this. There's a need for that. Like there's a need for a universal sign when we're driving that's like, You're right. I'm wrong. So sorry. Yes. A hand gesture. Sort of the raised hand of beneficent greeting kind of works, but they're really mad. Yeah. There's a lot of like undertones. Like I saw somebody posting this week that like somebody flipped them off in traffic while they were taking their dog to be put down.

24:27Amy Wilson:And it's like, right. You need to understand that like I'm not in a good headspace right now. But so we need like a flurry of signs. Like I'm not in a good headspace right now. I actually really am in a hurry, right? Like, right. Listen, I am my toddler just had a blowout. Like I really need to get home. I'm not sure. You know what we need is like those signs. You can type in a message and it plays on the back of your car. Yes. Mommy merge. I mean, I can't see any problem with typing a sign on the back of your car while driving. What could possibly go wrong? Well, you can have default messages like mommy merge.

25:02Like, you know, I'm having let down and my baby is screaming in the back. I really need to get home. Exigent circumstances. That's all you can say.

25:09Amy Wilson:Please let me in. It's really an emergency. This reminds me. That is the fury that plays in my head when I am that person because I'm an obliger. So I'm waiting in that line of traffic and then somebody is trying to zip in and I'm trying not to let them in until it becomes like, why am I like being actively unsafe and risking a fender bender to teach this person a lesson? But I'm always like saying to myself. Right. And that person is never going to be like, that person really taught me a good lesson today. Yeah, they're not taking the note from me about proper traffic maintenance. No, but I'm always sitting behind the wheel saying like, Oh, you're the one who's busy.

25:42Oh, I was wondering who it was. Oh, you're the one who has to get somewhere today.

25:45Amy Wilson:I heard about you. Mr. Important. Yes, there you go. This reminds me of my ex boyfriend used to always say because when we lived in San Francisco, there was no eating or drinking allowed on the BART train. and he was like they should have a system where you can take a test that proves that you're a responsible eater and drinker and allow you to eat like you should be able to get a card that's like i'm allowed to eat on the bar train he's like i'm a very neat eater i understand that there's an overall policy but i feel like i could prove that i'm responsible enough to have a snack on the bar i feel similarly that there should be a line at airport security like i have never flown before or like the line for people who are going to be shocked that they have to take their shoes off and ask a couple of times before they do it.

26:31You know, like that kind of thing. I think we need a line for beginners at the airport.

26:35Amy Wilson:Yeah, that's right. Beginner, intermediate, expert, except for like, spoiler alert. Yes. Everyone would be like, I'm a pro at this. I got this. Right. And I am still that person who like gets to the front and I'm like, oh man, I was drinking a bottle of water in the car. Sorry, I put it in my bag. Oh, it's you. I mean, it's totally me. I am what kind of monster? I am like the disorganized hot mess monster in everyone's lives. Like that person who's like, sorry, I got a merge. I didn't know where I was. Oh, sorry. I didn't realize I forgot my laptop again. Like I am that monster. And I fully embrace that monsterhood because you know what kind of monster you are.

27:08Amy Wilson:I know exactly what kind of monster I am. I am the monster who makes my disorganization your problem all day, every day. And sorry, guys. Apologies. My bad. While we're confessing, I'm going to say that I am this kind of monster. Inez says, what kind of monster doesn't at a cat when they see them? Me too. Me. Me is that kind of man. We definitely had some like, what kind of monsters doesn't like dogs? I feel that's just a personal attack on me. I don't like dogs. I don't like any animals. And I understand that when you like animals, one thing you can never convince people of is that you don't like animals.

27:42Amy Wilson:And I understand why people are like Twitter is always like only psychopaths don't like dogs. Call her me psychopath, Amy. I don't like pets. Yeah, there's a weird sort of superiority that goes on among dog lovers or cat lovers, or of course, like little kid lovers, right? Like what kind of person? Like there are definitely people out there. Some of them are dog and cat lovers who just don't like little babies, like don't move the needle for them. You know what I mean? Yeah, like all those are your kids. Oh, anyway. And you're like, don't you think like a toddler is cute? Like they're just missing that chip.

28:15And I wonder about that. but they just don't have it. Like, good for them.

28:20Amy Wilson:Oh, I'm totally that kind of monster. I'm like, I don't know. I mean, I think kids are cute, but I'm not like, oh, baby. I don't know. I'm like, I get it. A baby. As my grandfather used to say when it was announced when anyone was pregnant in the family, it doesn't take brains, Amy. No. Just got yourself a baby. Good for you. Let's move on. Similarly, the appeal of a cat eludes me and always will. I'm that kind of monster. The idea that you would walk into a house and actively engage with a cat is just what kind of monster would expect that from me? And what kind of cat like wants to engage with you?

28:56It seems to me that they're all like they are the epitome of disinterested. Yeah.

29:00Amy Wilson:I think that's the whole point of cats is like that you don't have to engage with them at all. Right. That's the appeal. They hate you. They hate you and you like it. That's it. They just give off such a like, I don't have any time for any of you. Although I will say a cat always seems to seek me out. Like I feel like cats can find the non-cat lover in the room. The non-cat person, yeah. And go up to your leg. My cat is great because if anyone tries to touch her, she bites them. And I'm like, that's the kind of cat I like. I like a cat that's like, nope, no thanks. I'm all good. Clear boundaries.

29:33Amy Wilson:Boundaries. She has stated her boundaries, people. Let's talk about, we have a lot of parking monsters. Okay. What kind of monster parks diagonally across two parking spaces? Because, again, this is monstrous behavior if it's just like I'm entitled and I don't care about anyone else. But I am a horrible driver and a terrible parker. And I have a lot of trouble. I'm a bad parent. Like a parking lot parker you're bad at? I cannot even pull my car in between two lines. That is really hard for me. Why is that hard? Is it a big car? Yeah, I drive a huge minivan. Okay. And I don't know why I find it challenging.

30:13Amy Wilson:I'm spatially challenged. And I do, I will say, I'm not trying to pull the card, but I do have a sight problem that means I have trouble with depth perception. I don't know if that's part of the problem, but I can't park between the lines. But I will say I try like 12 times because I know it is unacceptable to cross the line with my car. But if I'm like the 12th time my tire is still touching the line, I got to go. I'm sorry. I'm a bad. I need a sign that says I'm a terrible parker and I'm doing my best. You need one of those new cars. Are those Teslas? Like, what are the cars that just go like, and they just park themselves?

30:47Amy Wilson:Do you understand that the only invention I care about in the world is the driverless car? Are you signed up? Are you on board? No, because they're like$8 million. But no, I mean, but like, I meant hypothetically, are you like, I am first in line for one of those? You would do it? No problem. Yes, absolutely. That's the only invention I care about. People get on it. If you're working on anything else, I don't care about it. I don't need like faster airplanes. I just need a driverless car. That's what I want. because driving is a huge part of my life, but everyone has to have them really, I guess.

31:16Amy Wilson:But I don't want to ever drive again. I'm a bad driver and I find it very intimidating. And I'm like a 90 year old lady in a car. I can't park. I don't like to drive at night. I'm very, very upset by driving. But you know, see, this is what I'm understanding now about being one of these monsters. As long as you know that it's you and it's not other people. Like, yeah, I don't like to drive. You're owning it. I'm a terrible Parker. I am owning that. I have to own it. But I do feel upset that people think I'm a monster when I'm really just a very bad driver. This needs to be flashing in the back of your car, right?

31:53Amy Wilson:I need this. We're going to invent a WhatFreshHell branded sign for the back of your car that tells people like, I'm sorry, I got lost and now I have to merge. And like, I apologize. I'm a bad Parker, but not a bad person. So Laura, that's who parks diagonally across two spaces, Margaret. But there's also people who are like, they drive like a really fancy car. The one thing I will say for myself is I drive like a dented minivan with like bad bumper stickers on the back that like have my kid's gymnastic place on them. So like, I'm not like pulling up in my like, whatever,$400 ,000 Tesla and just taking up spots because I can.

32:27Amy Wilson:Does that excuse me? Tell me I'm not a monster. This is what I mean. I think, yes, you're explaining yourself. We need a little more understanding in this world is what I'm saying. And I'm learning that owning that you are part of the problem is the first step to unity. Yes, to stopping being a monster. All right, let's talk more about that after the break. Amy, you know, I'm going to my big family wedding this summer. And thanks to Nutrafol, I do not have to worry about grabbing my husband's phone to immediately delete most of the photos because my hair is going to be on point. I love it. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand, and it's the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists.

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34:00That's Nutrafol.com, spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com, promo code laughing. So I wore my new Zenni glasses the other night. My husband and my kids were immediately like, new glasses? Cute. Considering how much attention they usually pay to literally anything I wear, I knew my Zenni glasses are, as the kids no longer say, on fleek.

34:26Amy Wilson:The kids definitely no longer say the thing. Zenni is an online eyewear shop with prescription glasses, blue light lenses, and if you're like me and don't need a prescription, even sunglasses, all starting at under$30. You go to zenni.com, you pick a frame, you upload your prescription, and they ship it to your door. No appointment, no store, no upsell at the counter. I even used Zenni's virtual try-on feature to make sure my new frames would look good on my face. Took 10 seconds. And I was like, heck yeah, statement tortoise shell. And when they showed up, they were exactly what I wanted. Same.

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35:28Amy Wilson:In a world where moms are just trying to get through their days in peace, there is darkness lurking everywhere. Mom, listen to this awesome drum set and Kate got me. What? What kind of monster buys a nine-year-old a full drum set? A new kind of monster movie for today's mom. What kind of monster? Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for that parking space patiently for three minutes with my blinker on and you just drive past me and steal it? What kind of monster? Why are you knocking on the bathroom door stall on an airplane when it clearly says occupied? What kind of monster? The word is library.

36:15Library. There is no such thing as a library. What kind of monster? Who left one minute and 36 seconds of time on the microwave? Stop messing with my mind! What kind of monster? Honey, go on up to bed. It's the first day of school tomorrow after break, and it's getting late. Yeah, so I have to write a 10-page paper on the moon as a symbol in Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. And I have to do a diagram of the stage. And let's do tomorrow.

36:48Amy Wilson:What kind of monster? Coming forever. to your lives everywhere, every day. Rated M for a monster.

37:08Amy Wilson:Amy, I have to ask you, have you seen the clip? We should have done this while we were talking about airplanes. It's going around right now. And it's a woman on a plane and she's sitting in the front of the plane where the screens are like on the front wall. and she has removed her shoes and she is scrolling through the choices of movies available on the plane with her big toe. With her bare, right. No sock, big toe. Bare toe. Yeah. I mean, and people are like, oh, I mean, is there possibly another side to that story? You know, my 15 year old who will take the other side of any argument, like he is here to take the other side.

37:46His other side of that one, when he saw that, we're like, ew, isn't that gross? He's It's like, what kind of person would videotape that and put it on the Internet instead of just going up to them and saying, can you not do that? And I was like, I think me, I think I might have been like, this will go viral.

38:01Amy Wilson:I think I might. I mean, is public shaming a good thing? It is not. Well, you're not like you didn't dox the person. I think it is good public shaming in case there are monsters out there who think that you should touch stuff on the airplane with your bare feet. But he was like, just say something. Yeah. Yeah, there's another one that it set off a round of other people. There was another one with like a guy who stuck his bare feet through the airplane gap and had his bare foot on the armrest of the person sitting in front of him. Oh, hell no. I mean, even that I could see where you're sitting on a plane, you're tired, you have your shoes off and you're like, oh, leaning forward is making me uncomfortable.

38:41Amy Wilson:I guess I'll just swipe through with my feet. I can see, I mean, it's not okay, but I can see the logic process of that. How you're like, I'm going to stick my bare foot on the armrest of the person in front of me. That's lost to me. Not possible. And I do think that my teenagers own something, though, is like people sometimes need to like have it pointed out to them. I think maybe they don't know. I'll fess up to my own what kind of monster on an airplane. This is years ago. Like, you know, I was barely out of college and I was flying to California. and so I brought a lot of stuff to do for a long flight and I was doing my nails like you know in the seat oh and I was doing this for five or ten minutes before a flight attendant came over like you can't do that on an airplane I was like oh okay and like I put it away and it was only later that I'm like oh right because it like smells like forever like oh oh okay I thought it was the best idea I ever had to do my nails on an airplane I had like nothing to do but sit there this is the thing with the girl with the feet like I get where sometimes you just get in that zone where you're like, oh, the screen is a little bit far and I have to basically bend in half to press it.

39:47Amy Wilson:But look, if I just lean back and do it with my feet, it's convenient. Like, I understand that sometimes you make poor choices. But how do you feel about a sock on the foot and doing that? I mean, it's not acceptable. I don't want anything to do with your feet ever. Yeah. Feet are gross. And like there are certain things where like people are like, you shouldn't sleep with socks on. You should. Who cares? But universally, we have decided as a society that we don't want to deal with other people's feet in public spaces and you have to abide by that. Right. And I would say like the same thing, like you don't want to deal with anyone else's body.

40:18Amy Wilson:And even if it didn't smell bad, painting your nails is gross on a plane because you're dealing with like bodily stuff in public. It's not acceptable. I mean, I totally agree, but I'm just saying it to be like I needed to have that pointed out to me. Yeah. No, no, no. I just think like there are things that are preferences and there are things that are just we've decided that we're not doing this, guys. My husband loves to wear, they're not quite flip flops. It doesn't have the thing between your toes, but it's like a sandal with just one strap across the front. Can you picture what I'm talking about?

40:47Amy Wilson:Sure. And even though he wears them on a plane and I'm like, I don't think you should subject other people to your feet on a plane. Even just sitting in sandals, I think it's wrong. I think you should bring socks. Yep. And he thinks I'm crazy, but I just feel like people don't want to see other people's feet. And we've decided that as a society. And you're just forced into such close relationship for a long time on an airplane, right? If you're on the beach, fine, I can see your feet. But on an airplane, your feet should be covered. I believe that strongly. And I will stick to that story. I'm gonna back you up on that.

41:20Amy Wilson:Thank you. You should travel with socks to hand out like, oh, look at this three pair of socks. Hi. So wouldn't it be funny if someone came up to my husband on a plane and was like, sir, I see your hairy feet stickles and I would like you to put these on to cover them up. His feet stickles? I don't know. They're just feet are so gross. Hairy feet are worse. I don't want to see his hairy feet. I'm with you. My husband has hairy feet. Like everyone has hairy feet at a certain point. They're like, we're part of Hobbit, you know, like put those things away, people. Here's a preference thing for me that has become a what kind of monster thing for Laura.

41:53Amy Wilson:What kind of monster puts a box of wheat thins back in the cabinet where there are only two whole crackers, a few sad half crackers and crumbs? Literally every monster in my house. And I want to back up and say, what kind of monster eats wheat thins? Not you. Wheat thins are the worst of all the crackers. They're the ones that are sort of like thatchy, right? Oh, exactly. They're like bark, salty, slightly sweet bark. They're horrible. Yeah. So I would say what kind of monster has wheat thins in their house? But you're right. What kind of monster puts them back? There is no excuse for this kind of monster, guys.

42:28Amy Wilson:There is no other. Even your son who finds the other side of everything cannot find the other side for what kind of monster puts wheat thins, two wheat thins back. No, but the first thing he would need to do is fess up to being this person because all my kids are this person and then are mad. And then like, oh, there's no wheat thins. And then all three of my kids totally do that. They'll be like, there's no snacks. I'll be like, that's because you put the empty bags back in the cabinet. You didn't tell me. Amy, let's talk about what kind of monster. I feel this one is a little controversial. doesn't return their shopping cart and leaves it blocking another space.

43:04Amy Wilson:Uh-oh. Yeah. Me? Depends on how full the parking lot is and how far the place to return it is. Angela says if a mother with kids can return her cart to the correct place at Target or the grocery store, you can too. I once was with my father-in-law. This was years and years ago. We were returning carts and there was, this is the problem. There's a bit of entrapment, I think, that goes on here. there were already four abandoned carts in a clearly empty space and I was going to put the cart there and he's like I just never want to be the person who doesn't return their shopping cart and he said it with like complete derision in his voice and now like crying baby in the car 20 degrees outside pouring rain I'm like I have to bring the cart back because I just hear his voice echoing I never want to be the person who doesn't and I'm like I feel it is acceptable to leave the cart with the other four abandoned carts, but maybe that's more.

43:58No, I that is exactly I will do that. I will append my cart to the end of the nearest new spot to leave your cart that has already been established. The nearest island of abandoned carts. Yeah, I'm not going to start a new spot where a bunch of people have left their carts. But I guess yes, if there is an extra spot where several people have left the cart, it means that the other one is too far away. And by now, it has become acceptable to default, leave your cart there. I'm that I'm that kind of monster.

44:26Amy Wilson:You're going with the flow on the cart monster. And I am. I mean, I do think it's kind of monstrous. But I will say our shopping store, our grocery store, foodstuffs emporium, the foodstuffs our market doesn't to me, their cart return placement is bonkers. But I'm assuming it's because people want to park closer to the store. And so it really is like they're become like cart islands all over the parking lot. And I do occasionally avail myself of the shopping cart island and I'm not proud of it. I know I'm a monster, but I do it sometimes. Yeah, this one is not one I feel strongly about, but I guess, you know what, maybe it's the New York City girl in me.

45:05I'm not in parking lots four times a week.

45:06Amy Wilson:Yeah, well, you don't deal with it that much. I mean, I do think like there are issues like you block handicap spaces, you like it dinks people's cars like just put your cart back probably but sometimes i am like going to shopping cart island and running away fast i am that kind of monster sometimes inez is very specific she says she thinks that anybody who reverses into parking spots at home depot lowe's or ikea is a monster i'm not sure why she's calling out those stores yeah inez would hate my husband because she inez was like really hot on what kind of monster she had a bunch of them for she also was the person who wants you to make sounds like cats, which we've already shot down.

45:49Amy Wilson:But is the problem? I don't exactly know. My husband is a huge parking spot reverser. And we have had the marital conversation that it is not always appropriate to reverse in. Like he basically won't park unless he reverses into a spot. And there are times where I'm like, can we not go through this whole exercise? And I saw... Because it takes too long? Is that are you holding everybody up while you're like adjusting your exact back in? It's just a lot. Like, is it this just becoming a thing that like, it's some weird thing you have to prove to yourself? Like, can we just sometimes just pull in and go to the movies?

46:21Amy Wilson:Like, do we always have to spend the extra? And I just saw, I think his name is Trey Kennedy. Is that the guy? Yeah. Yeah. Really funny videos, like the middle schooler. He was saying like, the logic of it makes no sense to him. Like you back into a spot where there's like a very, very finite amount of space. And then you back out of a spot where there's tons of space. Like, why are you backing it in the first place? I hadn't given this a lot of thought. And I'm not sure there's monsterdom involved in it. But I would say in general, I mean, I love to get in a car that's facing out because, again, I'm a very bad driver.

46:52Amy Wilson:I would never attempt to back into a spot because, like, I would ruin eight cars in the whole parking lot just trying. So I would never even attempt this. But I understand why it's annoying. I wonder how Inez would feel and how you would feel about what I do, which is like, I'll find a parking spot where you can pull in not only to the spot, but to the spot in front of it, thereby pulling into a spot, but creating an exit for yourself where you can drive forward out of the spot. You see what I'm saying? I have real life experience with this, Amy. I usually love to do that. But then one time I was pulling forward into a spot while a guy who I didn't see was trying to pull into that spot.

47:31Amy Wilson:And we almost hit each other. And he yelled at me and told me that what I was doing was unacceptable. And I was like, really? This has literally never occurred to me that this would be a dangerous thing to do. Okay. I know. I'm going to ponder that. I'm going to keep that in my heart. I mean, ponder it. I don't know who's in the right there. This is the other thing. People go through the world being like, I know what's right. And he was like, really giving me the what for like, one should never pull across. That's not that. And I was like, whoa, okay, dude, you've given this a lot more thought than I have.

48:00I think if somebody else thinks that you're a monster for pulling into a parking spot the wrong way. I think you can sort of consider it without letting it ruin your day. And maybe.

48:14Amy Wilson:Well, this is the battle, isn't it, Amy? Can we? I don't know. I don't think most people can. And, you know, it's definitely really what we're coming to while we discuss these monstrous things is that I say it all the time, The hardest thing to do in this life is to understand the world through someone else's eyes. Like, it's just so difficult. And it comes up all the time for us as moms, right? That you're like, what kind of monster would hold her baby and run across a parking lot without even putting her in a stroller? And it's like, you don't really understand that that woman just got out of the car and was like, I'm going to leave my toddler sleeping and run in.

48:51Amy Wilson:You know what I mean? Like, you're constantly thinking monstrous things of others when really there's probably a legit side to their story. A little context. Except for people who eat wheat thins. Yeah. I mean, there's no other side to that story. Or who leave the keyboard clicks on. They have to be stopped, but... No, they have to be stopped. I just think I'm not... I run towards the non-confrontational and the idea that I would ever walk up to someone and be like, here's headphones, or could you turn your keyboard clicks off? I just suffer in silence and then I rant about them on my podcast.

49:23Amy Wilson:That's how I handle it. Like I would never actively engage with another human and try to make things right. If you do it politely, like I just was on a plane last month with a guy who, even though we were in the air and he was supposed to have airplane mode on, his phone was like ding, ding, ding, ding. He was getting lots of notifications on his phone with the freaking ding on every time. Right. So finally, it was like making my blood pressure rise. And I had to sit next to this guy for like four hours. So finally, I was like, do you mind just turning that sound off? and he was a little startled and it was like, oh, okay.

49:57Like again, like he's the kind of monster who he's not on all the time. It doesn't like even register with him, right? And it was driving me nuts. He was polite enough to turn it off and like didn't start a fight. I was ready for him to be unpleasant about it. He wasn't at all. Anyway, get to where I'm going, go to a cocktail hour. Guess who I get introduced to? Him. Him. Oh my gosh. Him. So I was so like, if I knew I was gonna have to talk to him in a cocktail hour, I probably wouldn't have done that and then like seized with anger. So did he say something about it? I was like, we just sat in a plane next to each other.

50:27And he's like, oh, yes, hello. Right. But he wasn't.

50:29Amy Wilson:And he said, I hope I was a nice seatmate. And I'm like, absolutely. But that's the thing. I mean, he doesn't even remember that. But I do think for some people, like I was once on the quiet car of Metro North with two friends of mine. I kind of spoiled the ending because we just basically sat down on the train and we were just like, blah, blah, blah. Oh, my God. And have you seen Sheila? She's incredible. We were just talking in like unbelievably loud voices. and we literally had never occurred to us that like no one else on this train car is speaking at all yeah and finally a guy stood up and tapped one of us or like just leaned in or whatever was like this is the quiet car and we were like oh and we were quiet but i'm not gonna lie i was mad at him all day i was still mad at him for scolding us like it's hard like even when you're totally in the wrong like nobody really wants to be told what to do fundamentally don't you think that's true yes or am i just crazy yes but it occurs to me just based on the examples that we've given today that very often the monster doesn't know that they're being a monster.

51:25And if you can ask nicely, they will still hate you, but it will stop. Maybe instead of carrying that resentment around to your grave. Right. And the world might be a better place. It's possible.

51:35Amy Wilson:I'm not really sure there's a solution to this. I mean, we're supposed to be heading to we solved it. But I mean, I guess if it's driving you crazy, you could try to fix it. You can also just write things about them on Facebook or Instagram or take videos of them and share them on social media. That's another way to handle this situation. We want to see all of those things. Do not share pictures of people's feet with us on our Facebook page, guys. No, we want to hear about what kind of monsters you're dealing with in your life. And you can come to our Facebook page at facebook.com forward slash what fresh hell cast and tell us.

52:07That's all I have. You can also come to Instagram at what fresh hell cast. You can go to Twitter at WFH podcast. This is not really a Twittery conversation, but you can always find us there.

52:18Amy Wilson:And you can find us on our website at whatfreshhelp podcast.com. This week, there won't really be a ton of show notes because we didn't reference a lot of no research or no research. We know what kind of monsters out there. We don't need to research it. But you can come there and find out how to leave a review for the podcast, which we would love, love, love for you to do. That is the thing that most helps us get the word out to other people. So come to whatfreshhelp podcast, click on the sidebar that says how to write a review and go write us a review of the podcast. We'd love it. Thanks, everybody.

52:48Amy Wilson:Talk to you next week. We'll talk to you next time.

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