BEST OF: What Kind of Monster? Family Vacation Edition

19:16And I'm assuming that was the spouse.

19:19Heidi Hedquist:The RV vacation. Yeah. And any RV is going to get pretty small for your immediate family, let alone people who have thoughts about how your immediate family should do things. Well, people who have been listening to the podcast for a long time know that I went on an RV vacation. Yes. And my husband was not able to come after we had rented the RV and committed to the RV. That is a what kind of monster family vacation classic. Like, oops, actually, I can't go. Oops, actually, I'm not going to be there. You go off in the RV. Did he not look at the calendar or were the events out of his control? So it wasn't his fault.

19:53It was work. Work stuff came up. You know, it truly wasn't his fault. But my father-in-law ended up coming with us on that trip. And I have to say, with the help of some, you know... Candles. Well, I was going to say alcohol. We made it through. And like, we get along superiorly well. And still, you're in a 25-foot space. There's three children on the road driving all day. And then when you stop, you're either outside, you're constantly banging your head on stuff. I mean, it is about the highest level difficulty vacation. And I just cannot see doing it with anyone who was not first circle close and agreeable, you know?

20:42Yeah. And I have to give amazing props to my father-in-law. Like any father-in-law who can go with his daughter-in-law on an RV vacation for five days, like gets the golden crown. I mean, And it was incredible because as we know, I am the monster. And my children are monsters. And I will say the one crime that my father-in-law committed on that trip, which was really funny, is that my kids were – it was probably four years ago now, maybe three years ago. My kids were littler. They were still like little kids. And we thought it would be fun to tell scary stories at night on the trip. Uh-oh. And my father-in-law told – I mean, it wasn't a scary story.

21:23It was like cannibalism, like madness, people waking up and discovering their friends, like eating other friends. It was terrifying. And then at the end, it involved a jump scare where he turned all the lights off and screamed at them, to which one of my sobbing children ran into my arms and started screaming, why, why I thought Papa loved us. Like it was the scariest story that's ever been told. And I had to ban all scary stories after that, because what you really don't want is three kids who can't sleep in an RV.

21:54Heidi Hedquist:I just traveled this summer, extended trip with both sets of parents. So my kids, four grandparents, my parents and my spouse's parents. And I got to say, like, overall, it was amazing. And I'll tell you what the difference was. We weren't navigating and we weren't driving, right? We were on a tour. So like, it was just being in the lobby at 9am. Now, somebody might get mad that so-and-so wasn't there at 8.59, 58, but just get in the car and go. And so it went totally swimmingly until the day the bus broke down. And we were in Italy. We weren't in the United States. We were on the side of the road.

22:28Heidi Hedquist:The driver with whom we could kind of communicate didn't want to touch anything because he just didn't want to mess up the bus. It was 90 degrees. We were on the side of the road for a couple of hours. And it was probably about two hours and 45 minutes. Had it been three hours and 15 minutes, we would have started eating each other. You would have been the story from my RV. That's how quickly it went downhill. And my father-in-law did save the day. He popped the, eventually, the driver let him pop the hood. He could see what it was. And they were going to come tow the bus. And my father-in-law was like, no, you need this one part.

23:01Heidi Hedquist:Have them bring this one part. Our vacation was rescued because it was that one part. Wow. Your father-in-law is a huge hero. Yeah. He was under the hood. My dad was behind the bus waving at passing cars. Because people drive pretty fast in Italy. I don't know if you knew that and don't really want to slow down for you. I've heard. while we all just like kicked dust in the side of the highway and wanted to kill each other. But we made it. We're all still here. I mean, it really is true. There's the famous, famous Onion headline, Mom does all chores closer to the water on a beach vacation, you know?

23:30Yes. And there is a lot of that of vacation. But except for you've spent a ton of money, like a bad day in real life. It's like, okay, this stinks and my kids are horrible and I hate my spouse and my in-laws are terrible. And like, we're all having a bad day. But a vacation is that plus we've spent tens of thousands of dollars to be here that we saved for like three years. I mean, the stakes are very high on vacation.

23:57Heidi Hedquist:Yes, we're supposed to be having fun right now. And we're and we're not it's raining. It's raining at Disney World, right? And we're in the hotel room yelling at each other. Yeah. And Sarah's husband forgot his swimsuit. Sarah's husband is the monster. He didn't forget his swimsuit, Amy. He forgets his swimsuit. This has now happened six times in eight years. He's going in in his shorts. I mean, he's going in in his underwear, like Borat. I don't care. Right. Yeah. Or his drawers. Like, it's fine. Yeah. No, no, no. That's what he has to do. I also feel like this is a little bit of two types of people in the world.

24:29My sister-in-law is super, super insanely just organized. She's just super organized and will come and it's like everybody has everything because she's double triple check. I don't know what she does. She's magical. We always go and we're like, man, we'll go to Target. Like we always, as you know, from traveling with me, Amy has shared many a hotel room. And the first step for me is always got to stop at CVS because I forgot toothbrush, makeup remover. I forgot one thing. It's not the same thing. You keep it interesting. And I get that it's a little privilege to be like, I just buy it, but I'm not talking about $400 ,000.

25:02I mean, I'm not getting a lot of money, but I just take the pressure off myself by being like, I'll forget something and it'll be$5 to get a toothbrush and I can budget that into the trip. It's fine.

25:12Heidi Hedquist:Sometimes your spouse can forget the important things. Amy, not me, different Amy, says my family went on a cruise earlier this year. I did all the packing and I included a thermometer, Motrin, eardrops, handy things for when kids get sick. Great idea, Amy, particularly when you're going to be on a cruise, right? Who knows what they do or don't have at the drugstore. Anyway, way, my husband thought this was crazy because nobody gets sick at home. Four days into the cruise, my son has an ear infection and I was able to pull out the stuff and we had a wonderful trip, but my husband forgot to bring socks to telling me he didn't need the list I made for him to make sure he didn't forget anything.

25:44Heidi Hedquist:So I feel like this is like a monster mess. Like I thought he was going to tell her to like take the bag with the eardrops back out because of TSA or something. She had the stuff and it worked, but he didn't have socks. Right. It's, this is more of the crime. And again, like this is a very self, I feel like forgetting stuff is not a solvable crime because I am this person. Like I packed for four hours for the Jersey Shore and I left my suitcase in the house. I just, this can't be fixed as we say. Well, I do count suitcases. I have a tip for you. Yeah. Count suitcases except, and then don't let anybody else get them out of the back, I guess.

26:15I also, my husband's just my crutch because he's usually my body man, my Jeeves. He's always, he counts suitcases. So I think that me trying to become a person who always has everything they need on a trip is maybe not realistic. But as you said, I never say, why are you so uptight about packing? I understand. Thank God you're uptight because we get there. And when our kid who gets migraines gets a migraine, I say, do you want to leave? And he's like, of course I do. Here they are. He knows what needs to come. And yeah, I mean, goofing on the organized person is something I would take right off my list.

26:49Speaking of being sick, Amy, Rina says, My husband and I flew to Arizona for a two-week vacation with our four-month-old and three-year-old. During that vacation, both of the kids got horribly sick and the baby went to urgent care in the ER. My husband ended up with appendicitis and had to get his appendix removed three days into the trip. And on the way back, the airline made us check our stroller to baggage claim. So we had to walk through the airport after our flight with a hysterical toddler, me wearing the baby, and a husband who couldn't pick anybody up. It's all on you. But who's the monster?

27:20I mean, there's the germs are the monster. I mean, that's a monstrous trip. Yeah. Have you had kids get sick on vacation?

27:27Heidi Hedquist:Oh, I mean, I have an essay in my first book about my kid, my baby throwing up eight times on one plane ride. Oh, on the plane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do remember that one, the norovirus. I had a four-year-old, a three-year-old and a baby and I was traveling by myself. So yeah, they always get sick. And my middle guy, he had a double ear infection when we were in Jamaica once. He was like one and a half. and I spent two days being like, what is with him? Like, why is he so cranky? Why is he taking a nap at 10, 15 in the morning? Like thinking, you know, he's the monster, right? He's being this cranky toddler until he was burning hot to the touch.

28:03Heidi Hedquist:He had a double ear infection. And what do you do? Do you just have to find a hospital there? And thank goodness. Yeah. And that stuff gets tricky outside of the country, right? But there was a doctor who came to see him and, you know, and was able to get him the medicine he needed. And yeah, it would have been dicey. So I definitely travel with the stuff you might need, Benadryl, whatever, stuff that might be a little dicey to get at certain places, have it with you. I'll pack you one. I'll pack two. This is my list when we travel. It's what can't we live without? Like what is not available at Target?

28:32So like prescription medications that we all take, like that has to, we triple check that. So we do do the top line things so that I'm always team like, yeah, we can get it there. Although when we went to Europe, I was like, I guess I don't want to spend my vacation like buying underwear at Target, you know, whatever Target equivalent is.

28:52Heidi Hedquist:No, and weird things are hard to find. Like Benadryl is a perfect example. Like you can get all kinds of things in Europe at pharmacies, but not Benadryl. Like that's a controlled substance there for some reason. Oh, and that's what happens. And like, yeah, sometimes you can get like all sorts of crazy stuff and you can't get the thing you need. And we were in France and England. And one of the things that really makes me laugh in France is that the whole country is just so different in their relationship to food. We were out. We had another friend who we had run into. We were all together. So five kids, five adults.

29:24And at lunch, we were like, we just want to grab something like a food court. Like we don't want to sit. If you sit down at one of those nice cafes, that meal is three hours long. God bless them. Like they enjoy their lifestyle. But the grab and go food is unless you want to eat like a crepe from a shack. And I have to say what they call a hot dog in France, none of my kids would touch. It was like a weird gray sausage roll. It was not, you know. And so the thing of like, we'll just grab hot dogs out of the car, no coffee, everything's very civilized. But when you're traveling with kids, the kind of grab and go, it made me wish I had brought like peanut butter and a bag of bread And just to like, we're not really hungry, but we just want to get to dinner.

30:06You know, that meal is hard to find overseas, I found.

30:09Heidi Hedquist:I swear to God, I have a story that relates to this. So I took my kids, my husband had to work in London for work for about 10 days when the kids were really little. And we're like, let's all go. We brought his parents because the kids were little and I needed a lot of help with them. And my husband was going to be very busy working. And then we went to Paris. My five-year-old at the time was an extremely picky eater. And so I, yes, I am the planner, the packer, the organized. I did bring a loaf of bread and a thing of Jeff peanut butter to the airport with me, thinking I would bring it to London and Paris, where I really wasn't sure what he was going to eat.

30:41Heidi Hedquist:But I couldn't get the peanut butter through TSA. The TSA was a monster. I'm like, that's not liquid. Peanut butter isn't liquid, but it's a viscous. What would you call it? It's close enough. It's viscous. Yeah. Yeah. So you can't take it. Sorry. Can't bring that. Oh, they stole your peanut butter. and the peanut butter over there is quote unquote weird. Amy, we are going to be back with a what kind of monster that is titled Vomit and Sand Fleas. So you're going to want to stick around. Amy, let me tell you about a magical place that is so exactly designed to be in closed space, year round fun for the whole family that I bet you already know what I'm going to say before I even say the name.

31:22Let's say it together on three. One, two, three. Great Wolf Lodge. You got it, Amy.

31:28Heidi Hedquist:My kids loved Great Wolf Lodge when we went. You probably already know that it has a huge indoor water park with a wave pool, lazy river, a bunch of massive water slides. But then your pack can hit the other attractions because wait, there's more. Great Wolf Lodge has adventure packed attractions like Magi Quest, a live action game kids can play throughout the lodge. Plus the Northern Lights Arcade spent some quality time there. So your kid who loves the lazy river and your kid who loves fantasy games we'll both have a great time. Great Wolf Lodge also offers great dining options and complimentary daily events like nightly dance parties.

32:04Heidi Hedquist:All under one roof. Unpack the car once and you're settled in to have fun. And with 22 lodges across the country, you're always a short drive away from adventure. We've both had such great times at Great Wolf Lodge, so bring your pack together at a lodge near you. Learn more at greatwolf.com and strengthen the pack. We wanted to share a terrific new children's album with you. It's called Magnificent, and it's by Lachi, a Grammy-nominated musician and author. Lachi's work focuses on inclusion and helping kids feel confident in who they are. It's one of those albums that parents can enjoy as much as their little ones.

32:41Heidi Hedquist:Lachi's playful songs celebrate difference, diversity, self-expression, and imagination. There's a gentle message that runs through the whole album around confidence and emotional well-being, but without ever feeling heavy or lessening. Magnificent is the kind of music you can put on during your morning routine, in the car, or wherever your kid needs a little bit of a reset. Let me tell you, I am always here for catchy, thoughtful songs for kids that parents won't mind hearing again and again. Magnificent is streaming now on all major platforms, Spotify, Apple Music, wherever you listen. We'll put the link to Lachi's album, Magnificent, in the show notes for this episode.

33:20Just click the link and it'll take you straight to the album.

33:24Heidi Hedquist:Or search Magnificent by Lachi, spelled L-A-C-H-I.

33:35And now, classic husband fights. From the What Fresh Hell podcast. The just because you can repeat exactly what I said doesn't mean you were listening fight. What?

33:46Heidi Hedquist:You were talking about your friend Jane or, I don't know, Jen. The one who is annoying to you in some way. You were talking about her. The why do I have to remember everyone's birthday and shop for them even though they're on your side of the family fight. Sweetheart, I don't know what kind of sweater my mom would like. The taking apart the dryer because why should we pay someone to fix it when I could do it myself fight. I should have this working by the weekend after next. At the latest, I just gotta figure out what part I need. The why did you bring this home from the grocery store when it's not at all what I asked for fight?

34:21If soy milk isn't real milk, then why does it say milk on it? The what? I'm supposed to give you a medal for doing six dishes? Fight.

34:29Heidi Hedquist:Knocked out the dishes, hon, except that gross one you did the chicken in. The one with the eggs from this morning. I didn't know what you wanted me to do with those. This has been Classic Husband Fights from the What Fresh Hell podcast.

34:44Tiffany says, we all went on a vacation work trip with my husband to the California-Oregon border, beautiful part of the country if you've never been. Kids were little. My youngest gets sick at nap time at the hotel, pukes all over her sleeping bag. Ugh, I have to rinse it out in the tub. We go to the beach later and this beach has some kind of sand flea. All four of us get bitten all over our legs and ankles. Not ideal.

35:08Heidi Hedquist:I was waiting for them to kind of come together, like this vomit and sand fleece to meet, but these are just two separate, horrible, and yet totally likely events that happened on one vacation. Yeah. It's little kids because I'm now, I really have blocked some of this stuff out. We went once, we were in Texas, where my husband's from. And for some reason, I think we had gone to visit grandparents. We were staying at a hotel. And for some other reason, someone had conference points or whatever. So we got a room in a really nice hotel, but it was the kind of thing where like six of us were all staying in the same hotel room, like adjoining or whatever.

35:40Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think I only had two kids at the time. And yeah, one of my kids did that little kid thing of just out of the blue starts vomiting and like never stops. And then I went, I was sitting on the bed and I went to lean over, picture like my legs are on the bed, but I went to lean over sideways to pick the baby up the floor. And in doing so, like threw my back out to the point where I was frozen. Have you ever seen like that happen on TV? Like people are like, I can't move. Like I could not move.

36:09Heidi Hedquist:I have seen it happen on TV. And I thought that was the kind of thing that only happened on TV. No, it was truly like I could not I was frozen. So my back is bad. We've got the fire hose puking toddler and this beautiful hotel room in some fancy hotel. Instead, we just were like spraying it with baby vomit and being like, I'm so sorry. We're horrible people. We are the monsters. I think you have to assume that one of your kids is going to vomit when you go on a vacation. Just go together. Yeah. Travel with, now I will say like view from the future, traveling with a 13 year old, a 12 year old and a 10 year old is pleasant adjacent, I would say.

36:47Like it's kind of a lot of work because, you know, they're not responsible and you have to kind of be like, okay, where's your bag? Okay, where's your this, whatever. But it is not torture. And I mean, there's certainly we were away at a beach house and my son also was like, my eyes bothering me. And he took his glasses off and his eye was like swollen shut. Like, there's always that thing of like, what fresh hell is this?

37:11Heidi Hedquist:Yes, this is what I mean. Vacation. It's going to happen on vacation. It couldn't have happened at home two days earlier. And luckily, it turned I thought I was like, it's a stye or it's some sort of alert. We got to go urgent care, but it turned out that no one had told me that his brother had hit him with a shoe in the eye. So it was just a black eye. It was fine. But that, you know, you're in the middle of having fun. And then one of the kids is like, oh, by the way, does this bump look weird to you? And you're like, oh, my God, we're going to spend the next three days like in an Italian hospital, like trying to figure this out.

37:38Not great, but it does get I'm going to say it gets a lot easier. I feel like we have this split, Amy. Alicia is the monster. Oh, yes. I wanted to go over this one. I want to hear what you think. All my family likes to listen to music on the beach, except me. I need nature's music, the ocean waves. It makes me crazy. I know we have a divide on this. You're team silence.

37:57Heidi Hedquist:I'm team silence or second choice is one source of music. I have a hard time with somebody playing music over there and somebody's playing music over there. And now then let's start a third Bluetooth speaker in between with yet a third different song. That makes me crazy. Let me give you a piece of advice. Don't go to the Jersey Shore. Yes. I just came back. And I mean, it really is like, and there's a huge sign that says, you know, no music without headphones. And it is just a jukebox of warring Bluetooth speakers on the sand. How do you feel about that? Like, do you care if there's four different songs playing?

38:32So I don't like to annoy other people. So if I was sitting on a beach by myself, or sometimes when I'm at the lake, I like to have music playing when I'm sitting outside and contemplating when I'm doing my staring into the middle distance and just contemplating life. I like to have little music. Oh, really? Okay. And I like music in the car. I like music. I'm team music, generally. But my husband is team silence. And so, and I do agree. My husband and I, the biggest problem we have is that, this is not the biggest problem we have. One of the problems we have is that we have unbelievably opposite musical tastes.

39:04So I want to get my little like acoustic Taylor Swift vibe going. And he wants to listen to like Master of Puppets from Stranger Things. Like Master of Puppets, a puppet. I'm like, who wants to listen to that on the beach? Certainly not while I'm contemplating the middle distance, right? Good Lord. I'm trying to like watch the seagulls. I don't want like to hear like about the master of puppets.

39:24Heidi Hedquist:We went to an all-inclusive resort this summer, which was very lovely. Again, with extended family. That's great. I mean, if you can get it, great. Nobody's cooking and the kids can go do whatever they want. It's awesome. My one beef with it was like I'd wake up early because I like to wake up early, get a little writing done, whatever. I'd open the doors to this terrace where we could see the ocean. I mean, the sun wouldn't even be up yet. And it would be like, like loud music from the pool. And there's nobody around and it's silence. And there's a sunrise and ocean waves, which I can't hear because there's already this like weird dance music playing.

39:59Heidi Hedquist:I don't understand that the hotel was pumping it. Like you can probably let this go until 9am, but nope. Let's turn it down. My dad would always embarrass us because every restaurant we ever went into, he's like, what's the chance of turning the music down in here? He's like, but it's true. I mean, that music is one of those things. We've talked about misophonia. Like the worst for me is if somebody's like listening to music a lot. Like if you have to hear music, that's like, there's the little bit that's coming through like that torture. Or if music is bothering one member of your party, it's over for me.

40:37Like if I can't relax, if the music is bothering my dad, like my day is ruined. But in general, it doesn't bother me. This has happened to us. Marianne says, what kind of vacation monster tells the kids we are going to a water park and then checks the website to learn that the park is closed like forever? Uh-oh. This happened to us. It was during COVID, but the place never did reopen. My kids, like they have a place. We go to Texas. They love to go. Yay, we're going, we're going, we're going. And then like the morning of we checked and it was closed. And let me tell you, Expectation management can really slap you in the face when you're not paying attention.

41:13Heidi Hedquist:It's been a long time since I had to go to a water park. Let me tell you guys, better days are coming. If I went to a water park, it would be to drop my big kids off. I don't need to. I enjoy a lazy river. Yeah, water parks. It's like part of a larger hotel thing, but not like the standing in line for 40 minutes for a slide. We spend a lot of time at Schlitterbahn, the world's largest water park, Amy. It's down in Texas. Yeah, Schlitterbahn. I'm sure there's a lot of nodding from our podcast listeners down in Texas. They know Schlitterbahn. Amy, Schlitterbahn is the hottest, coolest time in Texas.

41:44Oh, really? Yeah. It's the hottest, coolest time you can have because you're cool in the water, but it's hot. I think I can make time for it. Let me tell you, if you don't like ambient music, Schlitterbahn is not the place for you. And if you don't like being part of the human soup of thousands of people. But somehow we managed to like Schlitterbahn, but it does involve a certain level of denial. But yeah, we always say it is. I mean, if we ever, if Schlitterbahn closed, I would not even want to be in the car when we had to make the announcement that Schlitterbahn was. Your personal feelings aside, it would be a tough day for some other people.

42:19TSA has become the monster for many people. Amanda says we nearly ended up divorced trying to fit a double stroller on the security belt. I think that makes TSA the monsters. The guys just stared at me like I was holding up the line. I was sweating, holding two toddlers hands. husband had our four suitcases we were a hot mess this is a strange one the tsa are the monsters

42:39Heidi Hedquist:because if you really couldn't fit on the belt then they can just take it through security and wand it i mean i've seen that done so what were these guys doing these hosers watching you i'm gonna speak for a moment for the tsa though i get it because i had a double stroller that i regularly brought through the tsa they see you coming and they're like this is a bad day for me like you're the 400th person they've seen trying to fold the double stroller and all they're thinking is like, what kind of monster travels with a double stroller? Like, you know, they don't really see the portrait of your life.

43:10It's one of these clashing stories problems because for them, they're like, who doesn't know how to fold their double stroller? And, but I mean, yes, it's the thing of like, it's fox hen grain, you know, the puzzle about how to get across the water. You've got a fox, a hen and a grain, do you know about that? Oh yeah, yeah, I do. But wait, but take it down for me. What is it? It's an old puzzle. I wrote about it a long time ago on my blog, but it's like, that's what having kids is like. The idea is you're on one side of a river and you have a boat and you have fox, hen and grain. And then you have to decide who you take in the boat and you leave on the other side and then you can only take one at a time.

43:48So if you like bring the hen and then you bring the grain, the hen has eaten the grain by the time you get back for the fox. The fox has eaten the hen by the time you get back for the grain. So it's a puzzle. But And that is like getting through security is like, okay, if I let go of my toddler's hands to fold the stroller, they're going to run in different directions while I'm trying to get my laptop out of my case. Like it's pretty impossible to do. But I also think that the TSA people are like, I can't make this my problem 450 times a day.

44:20Heidi Hedquist:Yeah, I think you're right. Like, I'm not going to assist you. I'm not going to say, just hand it to me when we'll want. Yeah, they're not going to do anything. They're an immovable force. So you just have to be just as immovable, like, oh, I don't know how to fold this. Like, oh, this doesn't fit. And I'm going to say, as I have with children getting instruments out of the backseat of the car on the pickup line, you might want to run this drill a couple of times at home. Like, OK, how do I fold the stroller and lift it? And where are the kids? Like, let me figure it out before I get to the front of the TSA line.

44:48And I'm team both because I've been the person trying to fold the stroller. Look for a helpful mom behind you. Could you hold my toddler's hand while I fold the stroller? I'm not placing blame. I'm just trying to be part of the solution. Thanks for that. Crystal says, what kind of monster early in our marriage, husband can't find something he needs in the luggage that I packed for mine? Where's my ensues? Now I'm the monster. I will not pack anyone else's luggage because I'm not about to hear that phrase.

45:15Heidi Hedquist:Yeah, no, we don't need to be packing our partner's luggage unless it's like they're not home. They're meeting you there or something. And this is a good thing with the kids, too. We just went to the pool yesterday and two of my kids said to me in quite annoyed voices, where are my goggles? Yeah. I said, they're wherever you left them. That's where your goggles are. And I get it. Like, they've gotten used to me being the holder of the goggles bag since they were five. But I'm like, you're teenagers, where your goggles are or where they are. Yeah. And like, where's my is a phrase that's coming out of our lives.

45:46Heidi Hedquist:It's thankless because you try to think of everything and then you didn't know they needed the charger for the switch. Not that charger, the other charger. You know, you couldn't have looked into that crystal ball, but it's still going to be your fault. Let's finish up with Vicky, who says, Me, I am the monster. July heat in Rome. Jet lag. Planned too much for the first day with our five and eight year olds. Yes. My daughter lost her mind because I wouldn't let her use her new digital camera over a deep well. She and I got in a huge fight overlooking the Circus Maximus. that culminated in me throwing her brand new special pink hat to her in anger.

46:20It went like a Frisbee and skittered through the dirt. Her brokenhearted wail snapped me out of it. She is 17 and still tells the story all the time. First of all, Team Vicky. We know Vicky in real life and she's a lovely person. She would never purposely misthrow a hat at the Circus Maximus. I know that about her. That's what I'm stuck with when she says her brokenhearted wail snapped me out of it.

46:42Heidi Hedquist:I'm sort of like, good for you, Vicky. because I think I might have been like, you can live at the Circus Maximus from now on and see people who had real problems, the Circus Maximus people getting eaten by lions. Right. You think they had pink hats? They had nothing. But I do think a lot of the monstrousness that happens on vacation, it's the mix of stories, right? My story is we're here to have an amazing time and see the history of Rome. And my eight year old story is I'm exhausted and the food is weird and I don't like it here and I'm hot. Really hot. Yeah. And my husband's story is vacation is a time for relaxation.

47:16And my wife is constantly yelling at me about lists and to do's and plans and her eight spreadsheets. And I am just trying to have fun. And why is she so mad that I don't have any socks or a swimsuit at the beach?

47:29Heidi Hedquist:What's the mom's story in that equation? The mom's story is I do everything and everybody's mad at me. I do everything. Everyone's mad at me. All I'm trying to do is make sure we get to this place with the things we need. So we don't spend our entire beach vacation driving off of the island that has one causeway to fight a target so that this one can get his socks and this one can get his swimsuit. And nobody realizes that I spent, you know, months planning this thing. And I've done a lot of vacation planning this summer. And I have spent a good deal of time when my kids were rolling their eyes or saying, where's the thing you forgot or blah, blah, blah, trying to modify my reaction, not based on the fact of you don't see the invisible work that went into us just being here.

48:14And like the fact that you want to be bored, even though I have through enormous expense and money that I scrimped and saved, either taking you to this magical European place, brought you to this beach just so that you would enjoy yourself, taking you to visit your grandparents on a plane that was, you know, expensive and difficult to get on. And my story is always like, I don't want to hear a thing. And I think that that's where Vicky's coming from in her story, right? Like I have created the magic and now you will appreciate it.

48:46Heidi Hedquist:Yeah. And that sometimes the other person's part of the story is like, I'm just having a bad day. And it's not about that. I don't appreciate all the work you've done. Yeah. And trying to convince each other of the rightness of your story in the July heat at the Circus Maximus. It's not going to happen. speaking from experience. Right. On the side of the bus, right? Yeah. It's like things go wrong and that's part of it too. But let's be honest, Amy, we're great and other people are the monsters. I think that's where we can leave this story. I'll tell you what you can always do is come here and tell us how annoying other people in your lives are.

49:19Heidi Hedquist:And we are here to listen. Please do. I got to give, we don't usually award prizes, but Adriana's husband. With the bird call. Checking the bird calls. That is maybe the greatest thing I've ever heard in the history of this podcast. Like that is a husband crime. I mean, slow clap to you, Adriana's husband. You really made my day with that one. It's special in a way that I just, it will stay with me. She's the grand marshal of the next What Fresh Hell Parade. The fact that the birds were not at the destination, but rather just a curious thing that was happening in your own backyard. Slow clap forever.

49:54Amazing. Friends, we solved it. We know who the monster is. It's not us.

49:58Heidi Hedquist:It's them. So guess what? We have a newsletter. Finally, we've been talking about it and we finally have one now where we're taking all the best episodes of the last month. Sometimes we're talking about other things we're watching, reading or doing and places you can find us next. To join the fun on our newsletter, all you have to do is go to whatfreshhealthpodcast.com. There's a little pop up that comes up. Sign up. We won't spam. You're going to send you stuff like once a month. And it's just like super fun, good listening stuff for us, toddler purgatory and some of our other favorite podcasts.

50:27Yep. Make sure to sign up. And with that, we will talk to you next week. Thank you, Hellions and non-monsters out there. Farewell, Hellions all.

50:45Heidi Hedquist:This episode is brought to you by DeeDee's Discounts. Back to School season is officially here, and DeeDee's has everything on your list. I'm talking bold styles, cool kicks, backpacks, and even dorm room essentials. All the prices that won't hurt your wallet. So don't sleep on Dee Dee's. Whether you've got a second grader or a sophomore, Dee Dee's has your whole family covered. Find a Dee Dee's discount store near you and go check it out today.