In short
Podcast Episode Notes: What Fresh Hell - February Is the New January!
Episode Overview In the episode titled "February Is the New January," co-hosts Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables explore the notion that January isn't the ideal time for new beginnings. They argue that the winter months, especially January and February, are not conducive to productivity and that we should embrace a period of rest and reflection instead.
Key Themes
- Challenging Productivity Culture: The hosts critique the societal pressure to be productive during the winter months.
- Historical Context: They delve into the history of calendar systems and the implications of starting the year in January.
- Lunar New Year: Discussion about the Lunar New Year and how it contrasts with the Gregorian calendar's January start date.
- Seasonal Rhythms and Mental Health: The impact of seasonal changes on mental health and parenting.
Detailed Notes
- The Concept of February as the New January
- Introduction: Amy and Margaret humorously propose that February should be considered the new January due to the difficulties of starting anew in the darkest months.
- Personal Reflections: Both hosts share their experiences of feeling unmotivated and overwhelmed by the expectations of January.
- Historical Insight on Calendar Systems
- Calendar History:
- January was named after Janus, the god of time and beginnings.
- The Roman calendar originally had only ten months, leaving January and February as late additions.
- Historically, the year started in March when the days began to lengthen, making it a more natural time for renewal.
- Cultural Critique:
- The concept of January as a starting point for the year is critiqued as a modern construct created by "productivity bros."
- Reference to Annie Scott's writings, which argue that January is merely a sales campaign rather than a true new beginning.
- Embracing Rest and Reflection
- The Idea of “Wintering”:
- Inspired by Katherine May’s book *Wintering*, the discussion centers on the natural state of rest during winter months.
- The hosts encourage listeners to accept slower paces during this time instead of forcing productivity.
- Self-Care:
- Acknowledgment of the guilt that comes with resting as a parent, especially for the default parent who carries the household's invisible workload.
- Lunar New Year Discussion
- Lunar New Year:
- Exploration of how the Lunar New Year begins on the second new moon after the winter solstice, offering a different perspective on beginnings.
- The significance of the Year of the Snake transitioning into the Year of the Horse on February 17th, emphasizing a shift towards action and energy.
- Parenting and Seasonal Challenges
- Impact of Seasons on Parenting:
- Recognition that winter months can exacerbate feelings of isolation and sadness, especially for parents managing multiple responsibilities.
- Discussion on seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and its effects on mental health.
- Coping Mechanisms:
- Encouragement to embrace the cozy aspects of winter while also recognizing the need for light and connection as days get longer.
- Reflecting on Personal Goals
- Intentionality in February:
- Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their lives and what they genuinely want from them, rather than succumbing to societal pressures.
- The idea of not making major life decisions in February is reiterated, promoting a period of contemplation instead.
Key Takeaways
- January's association with new beginnings is largely a modern construct that conflicts with natural seasonal rhythms.
- February is a time for reflection rather than action; it is better suited for rest as we prepare for the vibrancy of spring.
- Cultural and historical contexts provide insight into why we feel pressure to perform at certain times of the year.
- Acknowledging and respecting the cycles of rest and renewal can lead to better mental health and family dynamics.
Additional Resources Mentioned
- Books: *Wintering* by Katherine May
- Articles:
- Erin Blakemore’s exploration of the historical calendar system.
- Annie Scott's Substack, discussing wellness and productivity.
Conclusion The episode concludes with a light-hearted reminder that it’s okay to embrace the slower pace of February and to avoid major decisions during this time. The hosts affirm that everyone is navigating the complexities of parenting and life together, and that community support is crucial in the chaotic journey of motherhood.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOFebruary is the New January
0:45 to 2:12
Discussion on the idea of February representing a fresh start.
“Hello, everyone, and welcome to What Fresh Hell?”
Quoting Annie Scott
2:12 to 4:04
Exploration of Annie Scott's views on wellness and productivity.
“That January is a terrible time to start something new.”
The Concept of Wintering
4:04 to 6:00
Insights on the importance of embracing rest during winter.
“no kidding, 12 copies, I think, of her book.”
The History of the Calendar
6:00 to 7:49
Discussion on the historical origins of the January calendar start.
“But when you are, I just can't seem to get out of park and I have three kids that all need this and this and this, and I'm letting other people down with every moment that I sleep in, right?”
Pope Gregory and Calendar Reform
7:49 to 11:03
Examination of how Pope Gregory's changes shaped our calendar today.
“I had to do this counting like, oh my gosh, that's right.”
Understanding Lunar New Year
15:52 to 18:26
Learn about the significance and timing of Lunar New Year celebrations.
“We talk about it way more than I never even thought about it growing up.”
Zodiac Reflections: Year of the Snake
18:26 to 21:01
Discuss the traits of the Year of the Snake and its implications.
“I mean, you don't buy songs anymore, but you used to be able to buy one song.”
The Year of the Pig and Compatibility
21:01 to 22:59
Explore the personality traits of the Year of the Pig and compatibility with other signs.
“So if you were born in a horse year, I'm just going to shout out these years.”
Reflecting on Personal Goals
22:59 to 25:16
Delve into the importance of reflecting on personal and family goals.
“We both thought we were rats and neither one of us is rats.”
Taking Time to Reflect
25:16 to 26:51
Discuss the importance of reflection before making life changes.
“You talk about this all the time, being intentional about setting, like, what are your family's values?”
Show all 17 chapters
New Year's Resolutions Check-In
28:54 to 29:58
The hosts discuss how their New Year's resolutions are going and the humorous struggles with them.
“And now, how we're doing on our New Year's resolutions.”
Seasonal Influences on Behavior
29:58 to 31:34
Exploration of how seasonal changes impact mental health and behavior.
“How Our New Year's Resolutions Are Going from the What Fresh Health Podcast.”
Living in Harmony with Natural Rhythms
31:34 to 35:36
Discussion on the disconnect between modern life and natural seasonal rhythms.
“sensitive and therefore it's like darkness and light and the seasons play very strong roles in our mental health in a way that I think can sound a little tweet tweet when people discuss it.”
Awareness of Rhythms and Functioning in Seasons
35:36 to 37:18
The hosts reflect on how being aware of seasonal changes can affect well-being.
“We have to stay still until we can plant something else.”
The Impact of January and February on Mental State
37:18 to 42:00
A discussion on the psychological effects of winter months and the anticipation of spring.
“But people have kind of overcome the calendar in a lot of ways.”
Surviving the Winter Blues
42:00 to 42:28
Discussing the seasonal challenges of winter and how to cope.
“We have stopped for two months on the, my son would kill me, but like the ice planet on Star Wars.”
January is a Construct
42:28 to 42:39
Highlighting the idea that January’s heaviness is a social construct.
“I'll tell you, September, October, you got me with that one.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Heidi Rose:When you want your spring break to feel like... And your kid's pool day to feel like... And your hotel bed to feel like... Ooh, and room service to feel like... Because at Hilton, hospitality feels like... Your cabana's ready. Would you like fresh towels? It matters where you stay. Book now at Hilton.com. Hilton. For this day.
0:31Anne A. M. McElroy:check Pope Greg's Instagram what fresh hell laughing in the face of motherhood
0:38Heidi Rose:it's a construct man with Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson just getting all getting get my snake on a podcast that solves today's parenting dilemmas so you don't have to you must have really liked Duran Duran.
1:01Anne A. M. McElroy:Hello, everyone, and welcome to What Fresh Hell? Laughing in the Face of Motherhood. This is Margaret.
1:06Heidi Rose:And this is Amy. Today, we're talking about how February is the new January.
1:12Anne A. M. McElroy:I'm calling it. I don't even know what this means, but I laughed really hard when you said it. I was like, I don't know what it means, but I'm laughing already. So I'm in. Fusilli, you crazy bastard. I'm in. Right.
1:23Heidi Rose:This was made up by me due to recent Januarial events, making me feel bad about myself that I wasn't immediately hitting the ground running and somehow felt like I was swimming through molasses and mostly catching up on December during January. And then I decided that February is a new January. So it's fine.
1:43Anne A. M. McElroy:I like it. You know my touchstone, and it's right here now, and I've entered my phase, and I've already said it twice. We make no major life decisions in February. February messes with your mind. Never make a major life decision in February because you're crazy.
2:03Heidi Rose:It might be the case of February isn't the best January. It might be March is the new January, but we're here. It's February because I kind of agree with that. You're going to see lots of people agree with us. History agrees with us. Love this. That January is a terrible time to start something new. So I'm going to begin by quoting Annie Scott. I don't know her. Her sub stack is called Annie Scott's Wankery Watch. We'll link to it in the show notes. It's very funny. So she takes a, this would be a fun podcast actually. She talks about wellness, productivity and cultural nonsense. And she takes a topic and she decides what level of wankery it is.
2:43Heidi Rose:So I suppose she's probably British, what level of BS it is. So the most recent one I saw was like, your nervous system is dysregulated. Like, is that a thing? Is that a thing that a woman in linen pants can fix for you on Instagram? I like it. And she goes through it. Now, to be clear, that can be a medical condition in which you are having problems or their nervous system. It's true. But the average person who has too much underplay, it's not really a nervous system. It's not really a linen pants on Instagram problem. So she called that an 8.5 level of wankery. So I'm here for this woman. I'm here as well.
3:17Heidi Rose:Maybe we should have her on the show. Anyway, so she inspired me when she wrote on Substack, I'm quoting her here, pst, January is not a new year. It's a sales campaign. It's dark. nothing is growing you are a mammal trying to reinvent your entire life this month is unhinged behavior invented by productivity bros and people who sell planners
3:43Anne A. M. McElroy:keep hibernating we'll talk in march i was talking to my sister you know also not having a banger of a new year so far and she was saying that she's been revisiting wintering by katherine May, a book that changed the game for me. We had her on the podcast. We'll link to it. I bought, no kidding, 12 copies, I think, of her book. And I gave them out as holiday presents that year. And her whole thesis is that life points towards winter, that every mammal gathers all year to prepare for the stillness of winter. Winter is the time to just go to slow blinking light mode on the computer, as you say. This idea that January is like balloons and here we go and it's time, it's not time.
4:39Heidi Rose:Yeah. And that book, Wintering, it can be both literal and metaphorical. She says in a gentler way what Annie Scott is saying in a more snarky way, that it's dark outside and you are an animal and you're supposed to be burrowed under blankets on your couch. Like that's the wintering that we spend a lot of time fighting against instead of accepting. But then for Catherine May, she also gets into metaphorical, like maybe you're in a season of grief and the people around you are not, but you're wintering. You're wintering and other people are not. You can winter outside of wintertime. Yeah. Yeah.
5:08Heidi Rose:And the time one can spend in these situations, feeling bad about yourself that you are sleepy and don't have a out of energy or need to withdraw, that this is a natural state of things and squirrels get it. And why don't we?
5:23Anne A. M. McElroy:Yeah, it's interesting. I was sick. I was spent a whole day in bed sick, spent a second day in bed sick. I hate being sick. That downtime starts to stress me out after two days. I said to my husband kind of tearily one night, I'm like, do you think I'm always in bed? I don't want the kids to think I just always lay around in bed. And he kind of turned his head like, no that's not true like you're just in bed now because you're sick and have a cold and it's winter like you are doing exactly the right thing you are cozying down early at night yeah and i do
6:00Heidi Rose:think when you're a parent a mother uh default uh head of household kind of person the default parent i meant to say that you do feel guilty about this because it's one thing if you're having a little rest and relaxation and you'll get to your healthcare claims next week. That's one thing. And I even have a hard time with that. But when you are, I just can't seem to get out of park and I have three kids that all need this and this and this, and I'm letting other people down with every moment that I sleep in, right? It's an extra burden. Absolutely. It's the second arrow that you
6:36Anne A. M. McElroy:talk about, right? I'm already like, it's dark and cold. But then when I try to comfort myself, I have this guilt that why would I be sitting here at a blanket when there's so much to do?
6:47Heidi Rose:So this blew my mind. There's a whole other part of this. It isn't just like, haha, we're all mammals. It's fine. It's actually true. Annie Scott brought this to my attention in this same Substack post that for most of history, the year did not start in January. The actual start of the year throughout human history was March.
7:10Anne A. M. McElroy:That makes so much more sense, of course, because
7:13Heidi Rose:like a new year should be spring when everything's new. A new year is, yeah, when there starts to be more light, when there starts to be more energy, when things start to grow, right? When the world starts to wake up in March. That's when the year usually started. And then she said, you can see it in the month names because September has sept in it, which means seven and October has auto, which is eight. And I was like, what? Right. How did I get to be this old? Never noticed that.
7:43Anne A. M. McElroy:My mind.
7:44Heidi Rose:This blew my mind when I read this, that September was seven and October is eight. I had to do this counting like, oh my gosh, that's right. So I went down a rabbit hole. This is actually true. We have history behind us. So Erin Blakemore wrote an article for National Geographic that sort of goes through the history of the calendar. She says that first calendar, I don't know if it was the first calendar, the first calendar that has relation to what we use today. Let's put it that way. It was the Roman calendar. It had 10 months. It didn't even have winter months. It existed for agriculture. So it started with there being enough light to be outside and do something and maybe plant something.
8:22Heidi Rose:And it ended with the end of the harvest season. And then there was just about 80 days of unmarked time.
8:29Anne A. M. McElroy:You'd be like off the calendar. There is no calendar. Yeah. I remember we were on a road trip once and it was years ago when the navigation maps were just starting and we made a turn and we were off the map. Like there was no more map for where we were. And I was like, ah, there's no more map. We were in winter. Yes.
8:49Heidi Rose:Yes. Undiscovered country. And it was so clear to them that this is a time that we're all going to go hide and sleep until it's laid outside again, that you didn't even give it a name. It just was you the next time something starts. This is just this weird in-between period that's not even worth considering and writing down. So you had about two months off, but months were confusing. They were sometimes longer. So 7th century BC, they decided, okay, we got to give these months a name. We can't just be, it's like Google Maps. It's like, okay, we have to figure out what's there. We can't just say there's nothing there.
9:18Heidi Rose:So 7th century BC, the Romans decided to add those months in, and they named the month of January after Janus, who is the god of time, transitions, and beginnings. So some dudes decided that that would be the beginning of the year. And then around the days of Julius Caesar, which is like 50 BC, that was when they decided that some new dudes would start to take office, like Roman counselors or whatever would take office on January 1st. they started really pressing like this is the new year this is the turn to a new page so to speak wow isn't that interesting and then it was still super inconsistent because it would start to be like the calendar didn't match the weather outside and so it would start to drift because they didn't really know how to measure it so all of a sudden like march was cold or october was hot so it was pope gregory the 13th in the 1580s come on pope greg that figured out that we need to match this up exactly to how long it took the gregorian calendar the gregorian calendar stuck and realized the calendar should be like 365.63 days or whatever it is to mark the earth going around the sun, the Gregorian calendar, and it stuck.
10:25Heidi Rose:So it was really then that people started to kind of center in on this because even when I was saying the calendar was inconsistent, I was reading that it was mostly like priests and monks who even like knew what a calendar was. I mean, you weren't, if you were tilling a field somewhere, you didn't know that it was like like February 18th. You were just like, sun up, go work, sun down, go bed. Right. You might not even know there was such a thing as a calendar. So 1580s, they went wide with Janus, the god of new beginnings.
10:51Anne A. M. McElroy:And it was calendar drops. It was the man. 1582. Check Pope Greg's Instagram. Yeah. He was the first productivity bro.
11:00Heidi Rose:Wow. Good job, Pope Greg. And so they put this on us. So we have been living a lie since the 1580s that January is actually the start of anything. It's all made up.
11:10Anne A. M. McElroy:Now, what about people who live in like Australia? I mean, the calendar is by Europeans, right? Like, I guess the climate is different in the same way, right? In the other hemisphere, like it, the sun moves the same way. So it's like, the calendar is the same, but flipped in other places.
11:31Heidi Rose:Right. Like I saw, I think I was watching Priscilla Queen of the Desert, it was, and they talked about, oh, a December wedding. And I thought they were making a joke, but no, because in Australia, that is a summer wedding. That's a spring wedding or a summer wedding, yeah. I did not get any Australian research on here, but it's certainly even for people where it's nice in January, the idea that like, this is it, this is where we start. It's just day one. Is this day one that it should really be spring? But there are people who think of this very differently in the world. We're gonna take a break.
12:01Heidi Rose:When we come back, we're gonna talk about the lunar calendar and when that new year is.
12:07Anne A. M. McElroy:Hellions, if you're like me, you have a phone that is full of some adorable pictures of your family, but also pictures of recipe that past you thought they were going to make someday and pictures of your parking spot so you can find your car. You want just your good photos, but who has the time to organize that?
12:24Heidi Rose:Journey Print. It designs a beautiful and organized photo album for you in minutes. Journey's smart algorithm organizes photos automatically by date, and you drag and drop for quick and easy editing, and you can choose from lots of customizable themes to tell the story of your vacation, your year, or your kids' accomplishments.
12:42Anne A. M. McElroy:I just made my first Journey print book, and I cannot tell you how easy it is. I did a look back at 2025 pictures, just grabbed all of the good ones, threw them in the app, and as Amy would say, bada-bing, bada-boom, I had a beautiful retrospective of my year. in book form. The Journey Print app made it so easy. I have a fantastic looking book and I sent a copy to both grandparents winning.
13:08Heidi Rose:Go to journeyapp.com slash podcast slash fresh and use the code fresh to get 30 % off your next purchase. Going to spell it. That's J-O-U-R-N-I
13:18Anne A. M. McElroy:app.com slash podcast slash fresh and use code fresh at checkout. You know, every parent can relate to being out of some crucial item and facing the horrible prospect of getting all the kids into the car to the grocery store to pick up more. And it's like, how badly, Amy, do I actually
13:41Heidi Rose:really need or want that milk? That's when it's time to think DoorDash, which I've always thought of as just for takeout, which takeout is also the savior of many a night for parents. But DoorDash can also save you when your kid has a school project due tomorrow that they haven't started yet and you're out of glue sticks.
13:59Anne A. M. McElroy:Ah, a familiar scenario, to say the least. Or here's another one. Toddler's got a cough and you realize you're out of Motrin. Or maybe you had a diaper blowout. Uh-oh, used the last one this morning. I mean, I'm not saying it's happened to me, Amy, but DoorDash.
14:16Heidi Rose:Or maybe everybody's rushing off to their after-school activities and there's no point and making a nice sit-down dinner. So DoorDash, order a pizza. Take meal prep stress out of the equation.
Read the full transcript
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15:51Heidi Rose:okay so you were saying before like january why is january it's only cold and dark and our part of the world and we do we do have a tendency to be kind of centrist and centering our own experience in the way we think things should go and the uh and the weird what is it white european industrial weird is like an acronym that stands for something we think the way we do things is the way to do things anyway the chinese have a luna solar calendar which means they take both the moon and the sun's movements into their calculations and always have. So we all know about Lunar New Year. At least my kids' school celebrated.
16:26Heidi Rose:We talk about it way more than I never even thought about it growing up. The Chinese New Year, which always moves around a lot, it's celebrated on the second new moon after the winter solstice. So the winter solstice is the shortest day, which is around December 21st.
16:42Anne A. M. McElroy:Which is when we basically celebrate the change of the calendar, the darkest day. Yeah.
16:48Heidi Rose:Or I guess I would say, you know, we celebrate it like closer to the first new moon. Yes, that's right. First moon after the shortest day. So the Chinese celebrate the new year on the second new moon after, which I mean, is reasonable, right? It's giving us all some reasonable time to prepare and rest after the shortest day. So this year, the lunar new year for 2026 falls on February 17th, which is actually really pretty late. About the latest it can be is February 20th. And this year, Lunar New Year, celebrated by most Asian cultures, is actually February 17th. And I looked into what year is ending and what year we're going into, which I think is useful.
17:33Anne A. M. McElroy:Oh, yeah. I think I'm a rat. I was born in the year of the rat.
17:37Heidi Rose:You were born in the year of the rat. I think I was born in the year. Mom, I don't know what I was. I didn't even look that up. But it's the year that you're born in in Chinese culture, whereas we have a zodiac. I was born in August, so I'm a Virgo. In Chinese tradition, the year that you're born shapes your personality, the year of the rabbit. But also, and this is something I didn't totally look into, but also we're all affected by it. We're all shaped by being alive during the year of the rat, but the person who's born during the year of the rat is really shaped by it. It's extra ratty? Yeah.
18:07Heidi Rose:Or the people who are years of the rat or born in the year of the rat and then the year of the rat comes around again are going to have an intense year that year for good or bad. Got it. But we're all affected by it. So this year, the year that's ending, that we're in right now, that is ending on February 16th, is the year of the snake.
18:25Anne A. M. McElroy:The union of the snake is on the rise. Just a little Duran Duran for you. Old Deluxe Alert. Back in my day.
18:34Heidi Rose:To say the very least. That was a lesser. That's a B-side.
18:38Anne A. M. McElroy:That's a Duran Duran B-side. That's how deep it goes with me, guys.
18:41Heidi Rose:Guess what's also an old deluxe alert? B-side. B-side, right?
18:47Anne A. M. McElroy:You used to get a record. You'd get a small record called a 45. They were singles. So now you can buy one song. I mean, you don't buy songs anymore, but you used to be able to buy one song. You would buy a 45.
18:59Heidi Rose:You'd buy a physical small record and I don't know, Rio, her name is Rio, would be on it. Exactly. And on the flip side, the B-side would be Union of the Snake. They'd always sneak some like pretty bad song on the B side because it was a good enough song. It would be its own A side. So yeah. Yeah. Good times. So you must've really liked Duran Duran. The year of the snake is, you're going to feel still better about your cocooning when you hear this, is about deliberate internal progress. This whole past year for all of us has been a period of reflection and recalibration. Okay. It's about internal growth.
19:39Heidi Rose:It's about intuition. And the snake in the Chinese zodiac is seen as an extremely intelligent animal, not like a dangerous one or a scary one or whatever, just like an intelligent one that's coiled and gathered and waiting. So hats off to you for all that gathering and waiting that you've been doing.
19:58Anne A. M. McElroy:Yeah.
19:59Heidi Rose:I'm just snaking it up over here. Just getting my snake on. Doesn't that explain so much, but you're about to shed your skin and move into the year of the horse. Oh, how is that going to go? The year of the horse is commonly associated with energy and action. You expect a faster pace. Horses don't sit still for long. This is a great year to take initiative. It's a year of fearlessness and independence. You like being on your own. You like running off in a field. You like going for it and doing things. And you're going to have lots of confidence. You're going to have lots of social connections and being seen or heard.
20:36Heidi Rose:Okay.
20:37Anne A. M. McElroy:That was like a lot of work, frankly, but I might just, is it okay to stay snaky in the year of the horse? I might just want to just keep coiling.
20:45Heidi Rose:I'm telling you, it's magically going to change. It's like our thousandth review. I can't affect it. As soon as you hit February 17th, you're going to be like, bam, time to charge around. You're going to gallop off in a certain direction. Hard to picture right now. I'm pretty coiled up. I'm like, I'm loving the coil, guys. I don't think I need the horse. So if you were born in a horse year, I'm just going to shout out these years. If you were born in 1978, 1990, 1966, we probably have a few 1966 people listening. This is a particularly defining year for you.
21:17Anne A. M. McElroy:So only the horses start charging or we all do, but the horses more so.
21:21Heidi Rose:It's kind of like our I am not a Chinese Zodiac expert or a Western horoscope expert. But, you know, it's like when the second moon is in Virgo, you're going to feel more focused on getting things done the right way. But if you're a Virgo, you're really going to feel that. So it's something that affects all of us, but is like deeply felt by the people who were part of this line to begin with.
21:47Anne A. M. McElroy:Who are the in crowd.
21:48Heidi Rose:Yeah, the in crowd. Right. Some people really get it.
21:50Anne A. M. McElroy:I was born in the year of the pig, the metal pig.
21:55Heidi Rose:Oh, that's okay. Because I was born in the year of the rat. Yeah, yeah.
21:58Anne A. M. McElroy:Who's the year of the pig? Well, let me see. What is the personality of a 1971 pig? Is that what I should look up? Yikes. Okay, here we go. They are broad-minded, friendly, brave, and kind. Show me the lie. They have their own ideas, do not change their thoughts and interests affected by others. They are very helpful and usually can take good care of friends, but they are a little lazy and not positive enough. I feel personally attacked.
22:35Anne A. M. McElroy:Well, there you go. That's it. Wait a minute. No, I have. Wait a minute. Who is pig soulmate? Pig soulmate refers to the ideal compatibility. Okay. Wait. Remember these three, rabbit, goat, and tiger. Okay. Okay. Now I have to look up what year my husband was born and see if he was a rabbit, goat, or tiger. No, he is a water ox. We are a pig and a water ox. Not ideal, Amy. Not ideal at all. Okay, Amy, what are you? I'm a rooster? A rooster? We both thought we were rats and neither one of us is rats.
23:09Heidi Rose:People born in the year of the rooster have a strong will and can stick to what they do and do not give up easily. Wow. I mean, dead on. They are diligent, capable and competitive at the same time they have amazing endurance and great patience nailed it yeah nailed it however the rooster people are a little vain and they often have unrealistic ideas they are too confident oh my god this is like i can't believe this in addition roosters are too confident to accept other people's opinions and suggestions i mean it seems hard to believe that every single person born in the 365 days has the same qualities but
23:50Anne A. M. McElroy:so far no so far so good i mean no no no no no notes so yeah so me the rooster and you the pig
24:01Heidi Rose:and the horses and the rats we're all going to get ready to be more manifesting around mid-February. But if you don't want to hear that, I have somebody taking the other side of that for you. Oh, please, please hit me. Okay. So this is Stacey Dernan. Not ready to start running around on the 17th. She's a writer and she just wrote a funny, very funny Medium post about January is bad and February is also bad. So she said, don't make resolutions in January. Just don't do it. If anyone asks you what your resolutions are, quietly leave the room or punch them in the face. Whatever. Do not answer that question.
24:38Anne A. M. McElroy:Quietly leave the room if you're a snake,
24:39Heidi Rose:punch them in the face of your horse. Whatever. Whatever, she says. Just don't do that. But then she says, don't make any resolutions in February either, that you need both of these months for rest and reflection. And Stacey Dernan suggests that as we enter February here, we're supposed to reflect on what we actually want, not what we think we want, or here, this one is for me, what we think we should want based on what other people would tell us. What do we actually want to do with our lives? And of course, because we're moms, how do we want our family life to be, right? You talk about this all the time, being intentional about setting, like, what are your family's values?
25:20Heidi Rose:And then look at what you're doing. Anyway, what do you really want for your life and the life of your kids and your family? And then what can you do this year that will help you get there. But we still have all months to think about it. Well, yeah, we're not doing this until March, right? You're doing this in February. So I'm inviting you with me to think about... Only thinking. We're going to reflect on what we actually want, not what we think we should want. And it doesn't mean I'm going to get it. It doesn't mean I'm going to run a marathon by December. It's like, I would like to be more healthy.
25:54Heidi Rose:And here are the steps that I'm going to take in this year of the horse to get closer to those things.
26:00Anne A. M. McElroy:Just the pondering though, because I cannot go against my major life tenant, never make a major decision in February, but I can think about, you can reflect about, I can reflect, but I'm not changing anything about my life in February because I know myself and I know that in February, I'm like, I'm going to get a divorce, sell my children and open a tiki bar in Key West. and get bangs and get bangs just last night i was saying to my daughter don't you think i should
26:28Heidi Rose:have bangs and she was like oh she was like no it's the bangs time of year yeah yeah don't do
26:33Anne A. M. McElroy:it yeah yeah all right i should have bangs no i think not for teenage daughters let's take a
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29:02Anne A. M. McElroy:And now, how we're doing on our New Year's resolutions.
29:06Heidi Rose:from the What Fresh Hell podcast. Get more rest. Yeah, still trying to get my kids to agree to this one. So far, they are not on board. Mommy is trying to nap. Have more cheese every day. Okay, technically, I added this resolution January 6th in a moment of desperation, but on the plus side, this one is actually going really well. Stop following celebrity gossip. It's such a waste of time. Okay, but what if Travis and Taylor announce that they are getting married. I have to check that. I'm coming. This one wasn't really fair. Stop eating snacks in bed. I have actually decided that bed snacking is an important part of my mental health care routine.
29:47Heidi Rose:So that resolution has been dropped. No more yelling at my kids. Listen, in my defense, how can they not be able to find one shoe every single day? This has been How Our New Year's Resolutions Are Going from the What Fresh Health Podcast.
30:04Anne A. M. McElroy:One thing I want to say as we come back is that the longer I live, the more I notice that the calendar really informs a lot of behavior. Like the way that people have a hard time around the seasonal changes, the way that the light and darkness affects people, like the natural kind of ease and joyfulness of summer and the cranky hardness of winter. I always, you know, thought like, I have SAD, seasonal affective disorder. It's like, yeah, everybody hates it when it gets cold, move on. But seeing, knowing many more people with actual mental health diagnoses and watching and feeling it for myself, how the tide kind of goes in and out, depending on the calendar is really interesting.
30:54Anne A. M. McElroy:Seasonal changes actually cause me a tremendous amount of physical anxiety, whether or not I have anything particularly wrong going on in my life. We're going to Finland. My sister-in-law is marrying a guy from Finland. And we've been talking a lot because we're going to go during the time where Finland is light 24 hours a day. But obviously, there's months of the year where Finland is dark 24 hours a day, right? Because they're so far north. And it's statistically very clear that alcoholism and all sorts of problems affect people who live in climates where it's dark all the time. It's not just like, I'm light sensitive and therefore it's like darkness and light and the seasons play very strong roles in our mental health in a way that I think can sound a little tweet tweet when people discuss it.
31:49Heidi Rose:Can sound facile. I just did a fresh take with Dr. Greg Hammer. So we'll link to that. It's in the very recent episodes, if you scroll through our feed, where we talked about the winter blues and how that can actually be seasonal affective disorder. And he explained some people have an actual disorder, but all of us could use some sunshine on our face. And we talked about sunlight. He didn't say this, but I think like the indoor lamps are good. They're better than nothing, but sunlight's better. And a sunny window in your house is good. and getting outside is even better and that it really does affect your sleep.
32:25Heidi Rose:Your sleep can get disordered and your eating can get disordered. You don't say, Amy.
32:31Anne A. M. McElroy:No idea what you could be talking about.
32:33Heidi Rose:Yesterday it was like, well, it's, you know, it's 5.02 and it's dark. So here comes the cheese plate and a little glass of wine for me. It's been, oh, it's been a busy day of nothing. You know what I mean? I'm ready to like, okay, I'm done doing anything useful or interesting or that I enjoy. I'm just here to now consume TV because it's dark.
32:52Anne A. M. McElroy:That's why I was getting like, oh my gosh, why the kids only ever see me laying in bed. It's like, because I get in bed at nine now because it's been dark for four hours and I've cooked a big meal and I'm done. I just, and I'm cold. I mean, the house that I live in is drafty. And I just feel like by nine o 'clock, I'm just ready to be cozy in my bed. I've been cold all day too.
33:18Heidi Rose:Yeah. So part of this is like, that's fine. That is what this part of the year is telling you to do. And the idea that it's January and it's the time of new beginnings is a construct, man. Yeah, babe. It's just a construct.
33:31Anne A. M. McElroy:You stole that old Pope Greg getting us down, man.
33:34Heidi Rose:But also like, okay, but I don't want to be. So I think this solves itself, right? as the days get longer, as there starts to be more sunlight, as it starts to be easier to come out of our rabbit holes and see other human beings, it will get better. But I still feel like right now I've realized like I can, I'm at the age now where my kids can get where they need to get without me. There are days that I don't leave the house.
33:58Anne A. M. McElroy:Yeah. As a baseline, it's great to say like January and February are not new beginnings. Hooray. We're going to the gym six times a week and eating clean and reading our 75 books that we promised ourselves, that's probably a mode where we're working against nature. But at the same time, the flip side is if it means that I'm sitting on my couch under a blanket, doom scrolling 12 hours a day and feeling, I mean, I was sick in the beginning of the year, but I was in bed probably three or four days straight. And by the end of it, I was so sore. I felt like someone hit me with a baseball bat. Everything hurt from just laying down for four days.
34:46Anne A. M. McElroy:Your disused limbs. Oh my God, my desiccated legs. I was like, like a baby giraffe. How do you walk again? And so, and it's also like the world has changed, right? I mean, if we were still living in agrarian societies, we would be working like a hundred hours a week on the farm from, I don't know, March, November, right? Like from planting to harvest. And the reason these blank months exist is because we are so tired. We've been doing it for nine months and now we get three months of quieter rest. Although we're like going down to the root cellar to like peel beets or whatever other things we have to do.
35:33Heidi Rose:We're almost out of food. That's part of the thing. Yeah. We're really hungry.
35:36Anne A. M. McElroy:We have to stay still until we can plant something else. Exactly. And so in some ways, a lot of the ways that we live are working against natural rhythms now. You know, I mean, there's people who work the graveyard shift and there's people who work in hospitals overnight. Like we do not live in harmony with the calendar. It's kind of like farm to table restaurants. Like we're only sourcing ingredients from 100 miles around us because that's how it should be. Right. you should be eating what is seasonal and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, which is great when you're at like, you know, Joe's artisanal farm shack, but a lot of us are just eating McDonald's, you know, like we are far removed from like the natural rhythms of the earth.
36:27Heidi Rose:My kids school tried to do that for a while. Like we're going to serve seasonal local stuff. Very, you know, very tweet tweet. And it is a good idea, but like it was only apples and like only cucumbers. There was not very much available. Yeah. And the kids got a little bored. I think it's a little limited. We don't have to pretend that we are living in an agrarian society where we don't have blueberries until July. You can have blueberries if you want, but that's the rub a little bit.
36:57Anne A. M. McElroy:We live for real in the time and place where we live. So kind of pretending, you can't unsqueeze this toothpaste of like, I'm sitting in front of a computer, I can basically do anything and eat anything that I want any time of the year. I can be outside all day because I have Gore-Tex coats or something. I don't have a Gore-Tex coat. But people have kind of overcome the calendar in a lot of ways. which probably has its positives. But it's interesting, some of the kind of goony goo goo movements, like, you know, people have grounding mats. Do you know what that is? Is it like a infrared thing? No, it's like an idea that you're supposed to have your feet on the ground as much as possible.
37:48Anne A. M. McElroy:Like being on the ground is very important. So then people sell, like, it's like a mat that has some sort of cord that goes out to the ground or something. So then when you're standing in your house, you're still standing on the ground. I don't really understand it. But it's like, right, we don't spend enough time with our feet on the earth. I don't know if that's even a thing. But you know what I mean? I kind of get it.
38:10Heidi Rose:I get it too.
38:11Anne A. M. McElroy:But I don't think we need to buy a grounding mat to fix that. I think we just need to think about how our lives are structured, and if they are structured in opposition to the calendar, because we live in modern times, and we understand that, that's fine. But if they're structured, very in opposition to the calendar, we should acknowledge that like, I always feel really down at the beginning of, let's say November, whenever the light change happens, you know, we don't have to just strip everything away and go back to being like agrarian farmer people. But I do think an awareness of the rhythms of life can be really informative in terms of what's going on with us.
39:00Heidi Rose:It's two sides of the same coin. I'm realizing as you're saying this that like, yes, this is wintering. We're supposed to be hiding. You're a mammal. It's dark outside. Don't feel bad about that. On the other hand, I do have a nice warm coat that goes down to my knees that I bought for the sidelines of soccer games. And I can go march around in the park in that coat and I'm able to go outside and I feel a little better when I do. So don't feel bad that you don't love being outside right now, but the cure for what ails you might be a little dose of that. You see what I mean?
39:34Anne A. M. McElroy:Absolutely. And when things were stripped away during the pandemic, this is something we talked about, right? Like we talked about Danish babying all the time, which is the Danish leave their babies outside in the cold to take their naps. And that we were all talking about like getting out a lawn chair and putting on six blankets and sitting with our face in the sun for an hour a day, because we sense that with nowhere to go and nothing to do, we needed that time.
40:06Heidi Rose:And don't you think we kind of haven't fully gone back? We still haven't gone back to the way we used to be.
40:11Anne A. M. McElroy:No, but we've lost maybe some of the attention that we were putting on how to stay well. Yeah. That I think is really interesting. And it's just, I'm just thinking of it now. We just were like, okay, we don't have to date this baby anymore because we can now go back to our job. And it's like, there was something calling you to find that sunshine and find that break. And it's like, we would joke, it's like you're refilling a solar battery, you know, but some idea of how to function correctly in different seasons. And that can be very metaphorical. Like, how do you function in a season of loss? How do you function in a season of inspiration?
40:54Anne A. M. McElroy:But it can also be very practical. Like, how do you function when it's dark from 4.30 at night till 7.30 in the morning?
41:04Heidi Rose:Right. Right. Well, the worst part of it is over in terms of the darkness. Yes. We are heading into the light. Yes. We are heading the right way. There is sunlight ahead around February 17th. All of this is going to lift and you're just going to feel this need to take action. And even if you don't, you're going to probably feel a little better than you did on January 17th. And that's because of the world, not because you're a lazy person.
41:31Anne A. M. McElroy:This was a super interesting topic. And I think the whole like never make a major life decision in February joke is very tied into this idea that you get whatever holidays in December, it's celebrations and light to fight off the darkness. And then January and February are both just like, it's cold, it's dark. It is like there should be no calendar. We're off the calendar. We're just on the unfriendly. friendly. We have stopped for two months on the, my son would kill me, but like the ice planet on Star Wars. There's nothing to do. It's just survival time.
42:09Heidi Rose:But we do have a plan, you guys, which is like, it's going to get a little lighter every day and pretty soon it'll be spring. I think that's part of it too, that you feel like this is where I live. I live in this underground hole where nothing makes me happy and nothing will ever change. And it's just, it's just seasonal. Just a season, just a season. Just a season. Well, I'm glad you found it helpful. It blew my mind that we... I'll tell you, September, October, you got me with that one. I was like, whoa, Amy's a wizard. Right, that January's made up. I loved it. If you're not a subscriber of our channel on YouTube, What Fresh Shell Podcast, go to YouTube, search What Fresh Shell Podcast, hit the subscribe button because it will help YouTube know that we have cool stuff that other parents and other women should see.
42:54Heidi Rose:Not everybody bothers with YouTube. I don't listen to my podcast on YouTube, really, but a lot of people do. And you will help new listeners, especially younger listeners, find this show.
43:02Anne A. M. McElroy:We love it. And you get to see our cute faces. I mean, what more could you ask? Or not. You can turn it away. Turn the laptop away from you. Who would do that? Don't be crazy, Amy. And with that, don't make any life decisions, guys. It's February. No. And we will talk to you next time. Thanks, everybody.
43:29you
From the publisher
Still not feeling that new-year excitement? That's because forcing productivity during the darkest months is a losing battle. Would it make you feel better to learn that January and February were once considered such black holes of nothingness that they did not appear on the calendar *at all*?
In this episode, we're declaring that February is the new January. We discuss the history of the calendar, why January is the worst time to start anew, and how modern life works against our natural rhythms.
We also discuss the Lunar New Year, how the Year of the Snake has a few more weeks before we enter the Year of the Horse, and how we're going to use our February for reflection, not reinvention.
Keep resting! You're a mammal!
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Our Fresh Take with Dr. Greg Hammer
Our Fresh Take with Katherine May
Annie Scott on Substack: The Wankery Verdict: New Year, New You!
Erin Blakemore for National Geographic: The new year once started in March—here's why
Aadrika Sominder for The Hindustan Times: As the Year of the Snake ends, the Year of the Horse begins: Here's what this Chinese zodiac transition means for you
r/LTL_Chinese: Year of the Fire Horse 2026 🐎 What does it mean for you
Stacey Durnin for Medium: Why January is a terrible time to make resolutions
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, February is the new January, wintering, seasonal affective disorder, parenting podcast, mental health and seasons, Gregorian calendar, Lunar New Year, Chinese zodiac, productivity culture, burnout, rest and reflection, seasonal rhythms, modern parenting, self-care in winter, New Year resolutions
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