People Must Be Pretending to Enjoy This

20:07And I will say that's fun because there's something just sort of nobody at all is taking it seriously. On the one hand, they are like they spent like three months building this float or whatever, but it's also everybody just goofing. It wasn't as like debauched as I

20:20Amy Wilson:thought it was. I'm going to tell you the difference, though, right now, because I can tell you what makes the Mardi Gras parades good. You're walking around. So like you don't have to commit. It's like, oh, we got to get there by six and then find our spot. They have amazing parade infrastructure. So basically you're already enjoying it. And then suddenly gates go up and people are parading by like it happens fast. And then when it's over, the parade gates are gone and you're just walking around again. It's magical. It's kind of like you're having a great night and then someone's like, here's a parade.

20:50Amy Wilson:And then it's just already happening. And then it's delightful. And then it's over. And it's like, go back to your previous scheduled enjoyment. It seems to me we're coming down on something here, which is like surprise fireworks. We're great. Yes. A surprise parade is amazing, but not. You've really landed on something. Yeah. Although tell you, though, I'm going to break your theory right away because, you know, it's not amazing for Jessica. Surprise cilantro. No cilantro. That we're pretending to enjoy cilantro. It's just like we've talked about this many times. You got to have a gene that lets you enjoy cilantro weirdly.

21:23Amy Wilson:I'm not sure about this. I saw a tweet that was like, we all think it tastes like soap, but just some of us aren't babies. And so I think it tastes weird. No, no, no. I think there's literally a thing that like some people it tastes like soap too. I love cilantro and I love surprise cilantro. Like if I'm getting like a spring mix and there's some cilantro in there, like an herby spring mix, delighted, delighted. I'm not pretending, Jessica, I do like cilantro, but I refuse to pretend to enjoy mini golf. Sarah says mini golf is endless swings trying to get the damn ball in the hole while another family is breathing down your neck and they're actually keeping score.

21:59Amy Wilson:I agree that mini golf is straight torture. I still, and these men are now in their thirties. I still yell at my nephews about their behavior at mini golf when they were kids. I mean, two boys, super competitive. Mini golf was just an exercise in the two of them getting in like worse and worse fights until I would be like, we're not even scoring. And they'd be like, I was secretly keeping score and I had a seven and you had a five. And I was like, it just torture. Mini golf is torture. And I agree that like you're sitting there waiting to play a hole and then six people are waiting for you to finish.

22:36Amy Wilson:And it's just torture. Horrible. Mini golf. Terrible. I think kids actually enjoy it. I think I remember enjoying it as a kid. Lisa says LaCroix. I've been fake enjoying it for years. She's really tried. I've been faking doing it for years, says Lisa, hoping I'd actually start to like it, but it does nothing for me. I can't drink Le Cray. It tastes like a Glade plug-in in water. That's what it tastes like to me. Correct. And then I went the other day, I'm not going to be able to come up with the name of it. I went the other day and bought, they're in little glass bottles with blue lids and they're called, I used to love them in college.

23:13Amy Wilson:They're like a seltzer, but the flavoring in them is strong. Clearly Canadians, I believe you're referring to. Oh my God, Amy, if I could leap through the screen and kiss you. What a pull. I know they're back. They're back. I'm like, where have those been for 25 years? I loved a Clearly Canadian in college. Me too. And I went and drank a Clearly. The other night I was in New York City and I was leaving and I actually needed to stop and get something to break. So I'd change for the parking attendant and I stopped in and they had Clearly Canadians in the bodega fridge. And I was like, let me get a Clearly Canadian.

23:47Amy Wilson:And I took three sips of it and they're so sweet. They're like, someone needs to make for me something that is between a LaCroix and a clearly, like a LaCroix is like, there was a Twitter battle for a long time that was very funny about like people being like, a LaCroix is like seltzer water that was in the same truck as some grapefruits. Like it's like, it's so little the taste that I can't stand it. But clearly Canadian, too much taste, Amy. Where is my happy middle? That's amazing. And isn't it amazing that like, you like the clearly canadians i'm the same way now i'm very glad that i know not to buy one like you think they were good then you lose the taste for that like sickeningly sweet thing and then you get it back like you must be kidding that you think this tastes i took three sips of it i couldn't and i was like thirsty like i wanted something to drink i couldn't finish it it was cloyingly sweet but i need here's a business free business idea out there guys margaret and amy flavored seltzers that are stronger than LaCroix, but much less strong than Clearly Canadian.

24:50Amy Wilson:Does a spin drift fit that need for you? Because it kind of does for me. Might. I don't know that enough. So none of these people sponsor this podcast, nor ever will at this point. But yeah, I like a spin drift that's not too sweet, but I don't know, it somehow misses the like perfumey finish notes of a LaCroix. The LaCroix is just like you're chasing the dragon the whole time. You're like, I kind of think I taste lime. Do I? But I need I want to taste lime. I mean, Amy has solved this for me, but oh, yeah, it's only when I fly on JetBlue. You get a tonic water or a club soda, club soda, just a club soda and then a Simply Lime packet.

25:28Amy Wilson:And then they have these things, these little packets called Simply Lime. And you put that in the club soda. That's perfect for me. Tastes delicious. Do you know, I think I told you at some point I came home and then I went on Amazon and I ordered the Simply Lime packets because I was like, that sounds amazing. And of course, I got 4 ,000 of them because it's Amazon. And I have to say, I never use them again. I was like, it's only good if I'm sitting on a JetBlue plane. We have a lemon and lime around here. And my kid puts the Simply Lemon ones. And it's just crystallized juice. I don't know. They put something in it to make it crystallize, I guess.

26:00But it doesn't taste like chemicals. It just tastes like lemon juice or lime juice. And my kid uses it every day in their water bottle for school. They're pretty good. I'm not pretending to enjoy those. I really do enjoy those. Yeah, I should probably get back to them. Honey Bean introduced probably the most popular answer in the what do you think other people are pretending to enjoy when she said travel sports. Like 10 people said travel sports. And can I give you Stephanie's particular travel baseball? I mean, please do. But I'm already 100 percent signed up for this. Stephanie says travel baseball driving three hours and paying thousands of dollars for your kids unremarkable team to play a boring game that is way longer than it should be.

26:39And in another state when there are hundreds of baseball teams within a 20 mile radius of your house and then playing another long, boring game again against the same team because it's a double header and also their pants are white and also the bats cost three hundred dollars. I'm not pretending to enjoy any of that.

26:56Amy Wilson:I'm hashtag resist on this. I mean, I really do think that like and there have been some amazing long form articles. Just Google like travel sports is a racket. Disney and all these major corporations have bought, you know, these like huge facilities and they understand that the way to fill them is to have cheer competitions and travel sports competitions. And you were selected to go to Orlando to play. It's like, here's the thing, guys. Everybody was selected. It's like, it's all based on a business model that is there to help you spend money. I mean, I am a person who would not allow my kid to join the swim team if it happened at seven o 'clock on summer mornings.

27:40Amy Wilson:Like, that is completely beyond the pale for me. I just would be like, you can't do that. And I used to joke, I had a kid who was really pretty good at gymnastics. and I was like, you can get just as good as involves staying in your same school and it doesn't happen before 10 a.m. Like that's as good at gymnastics as you're allowed to be. Thank God they weren't Simone Biles because I'm like, I'm not doing it. I'm not traveling. I'm not getting up early and I'm not getting in the car. My cousin's kid is about to start college playing D3 college baseball. Hats off to his mom, my cousin, and his dad too, who really did do everything Stephanie's saying, like driving hours and hours and hours and hours.

28:20And I think that if she was here, we should bring her on. I think she would say like, no, I enjoy it. You make friends, you do this. But boy, is travel baseball the particular version of time outside. My kid played travel baseball. Travel is in like Brooklyn by the airport, which is still like an hour 20 from my apartment. Right. So you can play travel baseball and never leave New York City. But anyway, I was so glad when he wanted to quit because it just it takes all day. So hats off to you if you're doing it. And I hope you're not just pretending to enjoy it.

28:52Amy Wilson:Yeah. And I'm really down on it. And it's just the kryptonite to my personality for a million reasons. But I do for sure know people whose kids have really thrived in it. And, you know, the moms are all great friends and they make an outing of it. And it's like social hour and they get to watch their kids play. Like I'm down on it, but I don't mean to yuck your yum if you're doing travel baseball. I think there are some upsides. You can certainly make fun, but we think you might be pretending to actually enjoy it is what we're saying. Yeah, I would be pretending. I know that. God, I have a kid who started ice hockey.

29:26Amy Wilson:I was like, forget this. Forget this. Like 530 a.m. in the cold ice. No, this is not for you anymore. All right. We'll be back with even more things that we think other people are only pretending to enjoy. Amy, let me tell you about a magical place that is so exactly designed to be in closed space, year-round fun for the whole family, that I bet you already know what I'm going to say before I even say the name. Let's say it together on three. One, two, three. Great Wolf Lodge. You got it, Amy. My kids loved Great Wolf Lodge when we went. You probably already know that it has a huge indoor water park with a wave pool, lazy river, a bunch of massive water slides.

30:07But then your pack can hit the other attractions because wait, there's more. Great Wolf Lodge has adventure

30:14Amy Wilson:packed attractions like Magi Quest, a live action game kids can play throughout the lodge. Plus the Northern Lights Arcade spent some quality time there. So your kid who loves the lazy river and your kid who loves fantasy games will both have a great time great wolf lodge also offers great dining options and complimentary daily events like nightly dance parties all under one roof unpack the car once and you're settled in to have fun and with 22 lodges across the country you're always a short drive away from adventure we've both had such great times at great wolf lodge so bring your pack together at a lodge near you learn more at greatwolf.com and strengthen the pack.

30:53Amy Wilson:Well, Amy, I'm about to head off for vacation. And even with those hotel hair dryers, I know my hair will be, as you like to say, bouncing and behaving thanks to Nutrafol. Yes, I do like to say it. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand. And it's the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists and Margaret and me. Nutrafol's hair growth supplements are peer reviewed, NSF certified for sport and clinically tested. Nutrafol offers multiple formulas for men, for women, all tailored to different life stages like postpartum or menopause, so you get the support that's actually right for you.

31:31Adding Nutrafol to your daily routine is easy. Order online, no prescription needed, with automated deliveries and free shipping to keep you on track. Let your hair be one less thing to worry about. See visibly thicker, stronger, faster growing hair in three to six months with Nutrafol.

31:47Amy Wilson:For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners$10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code laughing. That's Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com promo code laughing.

32:08Amy Wilson:And now, lies moms are comfortable telling from the What Fresh Health podcast. I'm sorry, honey. This store doesn't sell sugary cereal. We took Mr. Pepper's the gerbil to go live on a gerbil farm upstate. We'll have a ton of new gerbil friends. We hardly ever do screens at home. We really prefer to do arts and crafts. Yes, totally. We're on the way. We'll be there in just a few minutes. This has been Lies Moms Are Comfortable Telling from the What Fresh Hell podcast. I love this one from Jennifer. She says gardening that cannot be relaxing at all. It is literally backbreaking work to keep up with it.

32:50I don't do it, but I think you're right, Jennifer. Like that's fun to spend all day digging in the dirt.

32:55Amy Wilson:I'm going to say I have started a mild and unsuccessful gardening habit. But the thing that I really love about gardening is like starting seedlings in February. And then like you put them with like the little greenhouse topper on them and they start growing. I love gardening because it brings spring into your life earlier. Like, that's what I like about gardening. Like, in February, you're growing little seedlings and you're, like, warm, under your warm lights. And it's, like, because soon it will be time to plant them outside. Like, I like a little dabbling in spring gardening. I don't want to take care of any other living things at this point.

33:36I'm not going to take on any new things. I completely agree with you.

33:38Amy Wilson:And I basically, like, get crazy for gardening and then everything's dead by July. and I forget all about it. Like I'm not a good gardener, but I do enjoy, like I look at my giant zucchini plants now and I'm like, I grew those from seeds and now they're making giant zucchini. It's exciting to me. I get why people love it. Let me tell you, it's a shame that zucchinis are so easy to grow because people are just pretending to enjoy zucchini. Zucchini's terrible. You're so wrong. Oh, I love a grilled olive oil zucchini, Amy. It's so good. I like zucchini bread, I guess, but no forget zucchini bread like a good grilled zucchini with like a little hot honey on that bad boy oh it's so good i mean i i hate tomatoes and people talk this way about tomatoes so tomatoes are like you deserve a victory lap if you made a beautiful tomato this summer but the zucchini it's like does anybody want some of my 80 zucchini that keep growing even though i don't even want them bring me your zucchini i'll eat them all i don't garden i don't need to because i get everybody else is like, do you please take some of our zucchini?

34:40Amy Wilson:And zucchini grows really easily. It's like rabbits. It's like you have 12 and then you have a billion and there's nothing in between. Michelle says festivals, any kind of festival. Girl, sing it. Sing it loud and sing it proud. There's nothing worse. I can't imagine. I almost went to the second Woodstock, which happened in the 90s. Yeah. And involved like people got it. They made a documentary of rained and it was muddy and it was like toxic mud and some I'm so glad I didn't go but yeah any kind of festival the only people I know who enjoy festivals now are like one percenters who can go and they have like a champagne tent and then like someone gets them when the musical go act and shows them to like their seat like the Aspen Ideas Festival you're talking about but I still mean like Coachella but like the people who I know who still go are one percenters they're not like sitting out they're like in an air conditioned tent most of the time and like drinking champagne.

35:39Amy Wilson:And then someone's like, Sabrina Carpenter will be going on. Let me show you to your like seats. And they spend tens of thousands of dollars. Like even when I was young, I never would have been into like, I'm a princess. Like I don't want to be dirty. I don't want to be camping. I don't want to be with smelly people. Like even back in my days where I was like a road performer and kind of You lived in a van, right? I lived in a van and I was at like workplace, like flophouses where there were like a million like hippie kids like living. I was always like, this is gross. I want to be in a hotel room.

36:14Amy Wilson:Like I never I was pretending to like it. Like I was pretending to be like hashtag van life because I'm so counterculture. But even then I was like, you all smell bad and I don't want your weird vegan food. Lauren says everybody else is pretending to enjoy Stairmaster machines at the gym. The worst exercise machine. Are they pretending to enjoy them or are they just doing them because they think they just grim like I hate my life, but I'm going to do the Stairmaster? I think people think they're good for them. But yeah, like the one now back in our day, the Stairmaster was like the hottest exerciser, but it was more like two unsteady pedals that you balance your weight back and forth on.

36:54Amy Wilson:now they have at the gym at my gym an actual staircase that you're walking up never never would i do that no never this one's going to be more controversial but i'm with amanda noel she says manicures who actually likes getting manicures they're costly and time-consuming pedicures are okay but just okay i stopped doing this i have kind of started doing it again because because you know why graduation a graduation that i didn't really want to pretend to enjoy I wanted to have nice nails for the graduation. And now I'm back in. And now I have to like deal with getting my nails done. And I hadn't gotten them done in like four years.

37:30Amy Wilson:I'm going to really swing for the fences and say, I feel this way about all forms of self-care. Like if I could run my hands through my hair and my blonde highlights would come out and cover my gray hair, I would do that every time. Like, I guess everybody would, but it takes so long. Like I find it torture. Like I feel like getting my hair done is the same as going to the dentist. I enjoy it that much. and I really feel that way about manicures pedicures maybe if I've got someone to go with or I go and read my phone but again I don't enjoy that and I will say like I've had a massage gift certificate for two years even massages are vaguely in that category for me really no I love a massage I feel like I enjoy having had a massage but I'm a little bored during it I'm like let's move this along.

38:18Amy Wilson:I could never get a 90-minute massage. By the end of 55 minutes, I'm like, I am done. I want to get out of here. When they start working on your fingers, like, okay, good, we're almost done. That's how I feel. I like a massage, but it feels kind of like work to me. Katie says saunas are definitely pretend to enjoy a thing that you're just sitting around feeling sweaty. No, that's wrong. It has to be cold to enjoy a sauna, but I'm going to Finland this summer, the land of the saunas. Apparently, they have a Burger King with a sauna in it. They sauna all day long. Yeah. Yes. It's like you always got to have a sauna nearby.

38:49Amy Wilson:A sauna and a hot tub and a steam room for me is heaven. Do you need all three? Do you cycle? I mean, I would love it. There's a place that we go to up in the Finger Lakes and it's like one of those spas. We don't even get a treatment. Like we just go from pool to pool to and then you sit outside and it's generally cool. And so like I have to be able to cool down and I don't like a cold plunge. So I have to be able to naturally cool down. I was at a hotel in Mexico that had like, you know, they were really overdoing it with like the sense of Mayan place in this, you know, spa. Like, OK, I'll go with it.

39:25But the person working in the spa was like, no, but you do this and you do this and then you do the cold plunge. And I was like, but I'm not going to. But you have to get in the cold plunge now because that's what's next. Like, I'm not I won't do it. I shall not cold plunge because you're pretending that that would be enjoyable.

39:40Amy Wilson:I will be your reporter from the field. In Finland, one of our big outings is we're taking a boat. This is like a bachelorette day, you know, like on the show. We're taking a boat. It's a Finnish thing. The top of the boat is a sauna. And then you jump out of the sauna into the cold water. And then you get on the deck of the boat. And then you go back in the sauna. And the water's cold. I feel I'll enjoy it. But I don't know how many times I'm going to want to jump in the cold water. Yeah. Christiane is coming for me. She says taking baths, why would I want to sit in a soup of my own filth? Even worse, hot tubs sitting in a soup of other people's filth.

40:16Amy Wilson:I love taking a bath. I would agree that a bath has nothing to do with cleanliness. Like, I believe there are two separate categories. Like, I would rather be clean and take a... Taking a hot bath, to me, is the world's greatest pleasure. But I would never get into a bathtub after working out. You shower off and then you take a bath. Like a bath in a hot tub, you should be showered before getting into. It reminds me of like every pool has like a shower that you're supposed to shower off before getting in the pool. Literally nobody does, but you would. In order to have the proper bath experience, you should be clean already.

40:49Amy Wilson:Correct. A bath is not about getting clean unless you're like in an old timey movie. Okay. And what about the hot tub? I enjoy a hot tub, but now I'm skeeved out because she is right. Like I do think about that. Like there's a lot of skin cells in here. Well, a public hot tub, I would say pretty gross. But we have a hot tub at my house. People shower before they get in. The rule is like you getting clean to the hot tub and then we drain it and refill it like once a month. So and even then I only get in when it's cold. OK. Never getting in a hot tub. Like we're in Texas and my in-laws have a hot tub.

41:20Amy Wilson:I would never get in it like a hot tub when it's hot. I would never. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it's 95 degrees outside. I'm not getting in a hot tub. I love this one. And Maren says wearing makeup that other people must be pretending to enjoy wearing makeup. I don't enjoy it, but I also don't enjoy not wearing it and looking at myself without it on. I mean, I agree that I don't mind doing my makeup. I like when we have a family wedding, the girls all like get in one hotel room. We're spinning music. We're putting makeup on like that's fun. It's recreational. getting your makeup done I love because I know nothing about makeup and I look amazing at the end like we got our makeup done for our pictures and I was like uh this is literally the best I've ever looked in my entire life right but getting my makeup done is in the same category of like getting a massage like it's work you know I don't want to do it I could never I mean I guess I would but like having a job where you had to get your makeup done first thing in the morning seems like a nightmare to me.

42:21Yeah, I don't enjoy doing my makeup, but I like having it done. So I would do like Dorit Glam Squad showing up at your house. I'd do that. I think that would be not enjoyable,

42:29Amy Wilson:but it'd be enjoyable not to do it yourself. I would do it once a month. Like if they could come over and I was like having my cocktail and like listening to good music. I used to do Steve Harvey's television show and they would put me in like an hour of makeup. It was insane. Like they would spray paint on makeup. I mean, and I will say at the end of it, I was like, I look like a rodeo clown. I cannot go out like this. And my hair would be this giant, shiny, like Fox News lady helmet. And then I would see myself on TV and I'm like, oh, I look pretty normal. I guess the lights are so bright. But in person, once I went straight from taping to the airport and I was like, I look like a clown.

43:09Amy Wilson:Like people are going to laugh at me. I'm pointing at me. Amy Jo says she thinks that I must be pretending to enjoy living in a big city. Amy Jo says, it's crowded, loud, dirty, sticky, smelly, limited green space. And you pay four times the price of my house to live in a quarter of the space. I mean, all of these things are true, Amy Jo. All of these things are true. And there are times when I really don't enjoy living in a big city, but there are a lot of times I do. And also everybody thinks that New York City is like living in Times Square. Like I wouldn't live in Times Square. Nobody lives in Times Square and nobody would do that.

43:39I think my neighborhood is probably more Sesame Street than people might expect.

43:44Amy Wilson:I'm just going to quote one of the great American poets and say, too busy, too crazy, too hot, too cold, too late, I'm sold again on NYC. I mean, what you hate about it is what makes it great to us. You know, like that's exactly like the buzz. And I mean, that's just city mouse, country mouse. And there's two kinds of people. and I love the hustle and bustle. Like I love the crowds. It just gives me, it's like introvert, extrovert. Like I feel like I live outside of the city. I went to college in the city. I lived in the city for a long time. I mean, I would love someday to like retire and have a place in New York City.

44:23Amy Wilson:I mean, when I win the lottery, but that energy, it's like my home planet. Like it's like my charging station. I just, my husband and I stayed last night. We're in Texas and we stayed out at like a cabin somewhere that was really nice. And I loved it. It was beautiful. and like in the middle of nowhere and like trees around. But I woke up really scared in the middle of the night. I was like, is a hatchet murderer going to kill us? And he was like, why would they do that? And I'm like, I don't know. I just when I'm in a place this quiet, I just am waiting for the hatchet murderer to arrive. This is too quiet.

44:51Amy Wilson:You must be pretending to enjoy it out here. People must be pretending to enjoy being hatchet murdered in your sleep. I would be remiss if I didn't point out that many, many people in the Facebook group said that the thing that they are suspicious that other people are just pretending to enjoy is parenting. Cana said this. Many of the people said it. And Nikila was like, yes, it's a trap. I mean, they're joking. Are they? I mean, I think that parenting is all the things. And that's the thing that's great about parenting. But anybody who tells you that parenting is enjoyable, we were talking yesterday.

45:23Amy Wilson:I'm here with family and I have my niece and nephew who are a little around and still doing all the like crazy things and where are they and what are they eating? And, you know, they're like little. And my brother-in-law was like, I remember you said at one point, can you imagine that people do this to save their marriage? And I'm like, yeah. Anybody who thinks like parenting is fun as its primary descriptor. Wow. Sometimes it's fun, right? Wrong as pants on a trout. I just would never describe it as fun as one of the top 20 adjectives. Like it's many things. And like with great opportunity come great rewards.

46:02Amy Wilson:Like I'm not anti-parenting, but it's something that people are pretending to enjoy for sure. It is definitely neither relaxing nor self-focused, which are two things that could go into something enjoyable that you won't find in parenting. Correct. But you will find this podcast and the community that we have created of listeners who help us come up with truly hilarious episodes like these. It was such a funny list. We'll put the link in the show notes because I loved everybody's answers. And I love how we're like, we got a question, guys. And it fills out like people just show up to make each other laugh.

46:37Amy Wilson:And I love it. If you're not part of our Facebook group, what are you doing out there? Facebook.com forward slash groups forward slash what fresh hell cast or just search for what fresh hell podcast group. It is such a great group of moms, couple dads giving each other advice very judgment-free community which is how we're going to keep it don't come showing up and being telling what people what to do it's a loving supportive community it's one of my favorite places on the internet even that's right you know we kind of helped invent it even if i wasn't involved with it i would love it look at that our listeners are the best so thank you thank you for listening as always and with that we'll talk to you next week thanks so much for listening bye all

47:26You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact you may not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over$900 on average. Pop over to Progressive.com, answer some questions, and you'll get a quick quote with discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99 % of their auto customers earn at least one discount. Visit Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. National average 12-month savings of$946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025.

48:03Potential savings will vary.