Why Family Vacations Feel Like Work (and How to Enjoy Them Anyway)

11:49Annie D. McGreevy:That's absolutely the case.

11:51Heidi Hedquist:And I feel like that's true for all of us.

11:53Annie D. McGreevy:Increased independence. I believe this entirely. Like, what can you do? We were talking about this. We had a neighbor from France when we were growing up and my mother and the mother, the French mother, put together an exchange where when I think we were 15 or 16, my sister flew over there, lived with the French family, and then the French kid lived with us. It was like an exchange program, but we kind of made it up ourselves. And my sister got on a plane at 15 or 16, no cell phones, got to the airport, and there was nobody there to pick her up. Something had gone wrong and some wires had crossed.

12:33Annie D. McGreevy:And she was then in a foreign airport with a language she barely spoke and had to navigate getting someone to help her get to a phone, make an international phone call. I think the idea of you can do things in different places is invaluable.

12:53Heidi Hedquist:It's so funny. You look back on a time like that. My sister had a similar experience got off the plane and the program that she was doing was not there. She didn't know what to do. Did not know what to do. And as you say, like no cell phone, no, like, and you look back, like, what did you do? And now, you know, my sister, a parent of four is like, I mean, I, I guess I just did that in the moment. The stuff is hitting the fan. Let's put it that way. Like, okay, we're getting real serious here for a moment. The rubber's hitting the road. The rubber's hitting the road. Thank you for giving me a polite way of expressing it.

13:22Heidi Hedquist:And years later, you don't remember the part where you get out of it. You remember how you felt in that moment. And then, of course, everything was OK and that you did it is what you remember.

13:30Annie D. McGreevy:The last one, again, little Gimlet Eye, stronger family unit. So it removes distractions, allows for uninterrupted quality time, shared experiences that solidify family relationships. It does. It does. And it also can lead to you all having a huge fight on the line for the lightning loops at Great Adventure. And yes, but that doesn't mean it's going to be magical. And I do think just being in a different place, even like I joke sometimes, like I would like to just do a house swap with our neighbors because their stuff would seem so new to my kids. Whereas like our ping pong table, which we played, you know, 12 hours a day of ping pong when we got it.

14:15Annie D. McGreevy:Now nobody's playing it. Like seeing new stuff is exciting for kids and it just opens up a ton of possibilities.

14:23Heidi Hedquist:I would say one sort of corollary to this, the stronger family unit is that even after you come back, it does change things. So I went to China with two of my kids before the pandemic, like eight, nine years ago now. And one of my kids and I still go chase around New York City, a very particular kind of cuisine, Szechuan cuisine, which has lots of peppercorns in it. It's a really specific taste that I'd never tasted before. We tasted it when we went over there. And the nice thing about living in New York City is you can kind of, you know, try anything you want. And this now college student and I, that's kind of our thing.

14:55Heidi Hedquist:Nobody else in the family is interested. And we want like, I want it so peppery. I can't, my face goes numb. And we go chasing that. And that's something we learned. We would never have figured out if we're in for this trip. And now that we're home, it's like a thing we do together.

15:08Annie D. McGreevy:It's nice. Amy, you've led me to a spoiler.

15:11Heidi Hedquist:I'm going to tell you what it is right when we get back. back. Okay. After an afternoon at the pool, my mom's skin needs a hydration reset. The perfect solution? Osea's Ondaria Algae Body Oil. It has an amazing citrus scent and a non-greasy texture, so my skin feels silky smooth and stays that way. Osea is clean, clinically tested skincare from the

15:34Annie D. McGreevy:sea, so you can see and feel the difference from just one use. The Ondaria Algae Body Oil is seaweed-infused and clinically shown to visibly improve elasticity and deeply moisturize.

15:49Heidi Hedquist:In an independent study of 53 women, after two weeks, 100 % of them agreed their skin looked firmer with Andaria Algae Body Oil and 100 % agreed their skin felt softer, smoother, and more supple.

16:03Annie D. McGreevy:Friends, I've got all the women in my life on the Osea train. Osea's award-winning Andaria Algae Body Oil is for skin that deserves more than lotion. And right now, we have a special discount just for you. Get 10 % off your first order site-wide with code FRESH at OseaMalibu.com.

16:23Heidi Hedquist:That's code FRESH at O-S-E-A Malibu.com. Being a mom means putting other people's feelings and needs above your own pretty much 100 % of the time. But our own needs and feelings matter. They need attention. That's why there's therapy, which is something anyone can benefit from no matter what their current situation is. And that is why there's RULA.

16:45Annie D. McGreevy:RULA provides in-network covered mental health care for most major insurance plans. The average copay for RULA patients is$15. And depending on your benefits, your copay could be$0 per session.

16:59Heidi Hedquist:Rula partners with a network of over 23 ,000 therapists and psychiatrists nationwide, enabling you to find the right therapist based on your needs, preference, and state requirements.

17:11Annie D. McGreevy:Rula is committed to helping you reach your therapy goals by carefully screening providers, monitoring quality of care, and supporting your progress throughout your journey. With a diverse set of licensed, experienced professionals, they make it easy to get the care you need.

17:27Heidi Hedquist:Take it from us. Therapy is worth it. And thousands of parents are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance and helping them and their families. And so can you. Visit Rula.com slash WFH to get started. That's R-U-L-A dot com slash WFH. study and play come together on a windows 11 pc and for a limited time college students get the best of both worlds get the unreal college deal everything you need to study and play with select windows 11 pcs eligible students get a year of microsoft 365 premium and a year of xbox game pass ultimate with a custom color xbox wireless controller learn more at windows.com

18:19Annie D. McGreevy:So we're talking a lot about international travel, which is not the only kind of travel that people do, obviously. When we were talking on this old episode that I was re-listening to about travel, you talked about having, I think, recently been on this trip to China. And you were like, oh, it was amazing in this way and that way. and I jokingly was like, tell me all about it because I'm definitely never going to China. At the time, your kids were older and my kids were like three, five, and six. And the idea of going to China was so absurd to me. It turns out that my nephew just got a job in Beijing and he's going to be there for a couple of years.

18:57Annie D. McGreevy:And definitely my husband and I are like, we should start saving up and we should try to go. And we're thinking about maybe, depending on whether or not we can afford it, trying to bring our kids. And I was just laughing at the myself that could no more imagine going to China than like flying, that a lot of travel opportunities are not now. And so when you're thinking about traveling with your kids, I think it's important not to be like the one place we've always wanted to go is China, and therefore we'll take our kids who are under 10. Life comes at you fast. I now have teenagers who would be completely fine going to China if we could afford to go.

19:42Annie D. McGreevy:And the idea when you said that was so absurd to me that these kids would ever be able to do a 20-hour flight and such a different culture. It's 12 hours. Don't worry,

19:53Heidi Hedquist:it's only 12 hours. Oh, man. And it's like a 12-hour difference, yeah. Yikes. Yeah. When your kids are three and four, it's not China, and maybe it's not the Magic Kingdom either. Maybe it's a holiday inn with a pool that's two exits away on the highway and they will like remember that for years as the funnest vacation they ever had. I do think it's worth if you have the time, the money, the bandwidth to start small and yeah, to expand their horizons a little bit because it's fun. Super fun.

20:18Annie D. McGreevy:Let's talk about different kinds of vacations, Amy. Okay. Going to a family wedding.

20:23Heidi Hedquist:Super fun if it's a good location. Like I went to a family wedding in Montana. It was legendary. but if I went to some other places, that's not so exciting.

20:31Annie D. McGreevy:I'm going to put going to a family wedding in the category, especially with kids under 10, of work, not vacation. It's a trip. There may be great parts of it, but it is not a vacation. You got to do the outfits. You got to be ready for things. You're staying generally somewhere that is not your choice. I think that the family wedding, super fun, no objections to it, but I would not put that in your category of vacationing. It's not that relaxing.

21:04Heidi Hedquist:Well, I would certainly put in the category if your three-year-old is a ring bearer and is going to skip nap that day and you have to bring a tiny tuxedo, then yeah, that's work for sure. Yeah. And if you can append, you know, a couple of days of relaxing travel on either end, once you've gotten to that place anyway, then that, that part's fun. But I agree.

21:24Annie D. McGreevy:My tip for the family wedding, if you want to add time, put the family wedding early and then hang out afterwards. Because leading up to the family wedding, you're just so worried that the suit's getting ruined and don't chip your tooth. And there's just a lot. Put the family wedding first and then go explore around if you must. Yes. And set your expectations. I just think expectation management is my theme, that a family wedding might be super enjoyable, but it's not the same. A vacation implies taking a break, and that's not what going to a family wedding is. It's spending time with people you love.

22:03Annie D. McGreevy:It might be having a great time, but it's not a restful vacation.

22:08Heidi Hedquist:Similarly, going to visit family, it's important to do, right? Kids need to know their cousins and their grandparents, their extended family, it's important. But if that's the only vacationing you're doing, then that's not really vacationing either because that's work also.

22:22Annie D. McGreevy:For years, the only vacationing we did because we lived in California, my parents lived in New York, and my in-laws lived in Texas. The only vacationing we ever did, we did four trips a year, two in the summer and Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we visited family. Cross-country flights with little kids. Cross-country fights with little kids. I will say God bless my in-laws and my parents. They had the houses really nicely set up for the kids. I mean, they made it as easy as possible. There were pools. There were things to do. It was fun, but it's not the same thing as a vacation where you're just going and the idea is let's go to this place and have as much fun as possible and relax and just kick up our heels and have a great time.

23:12Heidi Hedquist:I would argue there's something that just really changes when your nuclear family, your household, goes somewhere that none of you have ever been before and you experience somewhere new together. Like that to me is peak vacation. And it doesn't, again, it can be the hotel two exits away that none of you have ever been to. But there's like a level setting of that. Like we're, here we are, we're doing something new together, going to this national park that I think is peak vacation that these things don't check off. You're with other people, you're satisfying other requirements.

23:43Annie D. McGreevy:Absolutely. And this is also a time and place. I remember when my kids were little, you know, we would have these four week long vacations a year that we went on. And at some point I said to my husband, well, it might be nice for us to take a trip. And he kind of I've always worked as a freelancer. So this truly never occurred to me. He's like, I don't get six weeks of vacation. Like, I can't leave work more than, you know, five weeks. And as he said it, I was like, but you're crazy. We never travel. How could you not have vacation time? And then he kind of sat me down with the calendar, like, see how we go for a week in the beginning of the summer and a week in the end of the summer and then a week at Thanksgiving and then a week at Christmas.

24:28Annie D. McGreevy:That's four weeks. Like, I should be working even one or two of those vacations. so I think it's worth sitting down as a family and and when our kids were young we really did prioritize visiting family and we still do to a certain degree and it's also easier for my husband to work remotely since COVID and my kids are older so I'm not resentful when he's working remotely when I'm with family. And so these dynamics change as time goes by in a way that I offer as comfort to people who are a little bit stuck in the like, our two weeks of vacation a year are visiting my folks and then his folks.

25:13Heidi Hedquist:Yeah, but it is something to consider, right? When you're like, well, this next summer, we have your cousin's wedding and my cousin's wedding and not, I know, I don't want to go to Akron, but that's what we're doing. Or are you, you know, that you can, having your family vacation that you go somewhere new, just you and experience that together, wherever that is, is worth putting on the calendar.

25:33Annie D. McGreevy:Let's talk about the family magical destination vacation. This is your universals. This is your magic kingdoms. Woodlock Pines. I go to Woodlock Pines in the Poconos with my extended family. Woodlock Pines. This is your Atlantis. This is like a place that was built. so that this is even your great wolf lodges. This is a place that was built for your family to come and have fun at.

26:03Heidi Hedquist:Your kids to come and have fun. And then like if they're having fun, you're having fun. Like if there's bumper cars and water slides and ice cream towers, then they're going to be having a good time. And therefore, so can you. There's lots of stuff for the kids to do. That's why they're family destinations. So let's talk about pros and

26:17Annie D. McGreevy:cons. You've hit the pros. Everything is designed for kids, right? There's chicken nuggets and french fries. Your kids will find things to eat. Your kids are probably going to be really excited about going to this place. And it is all about making kids happy and comfortable. And that, I mean, I loved our Magic Kingdom vacation. I think we did it at a great age. My kids were actually older. They were like tweens when we went. But since Star Wars went in, I feel like that changed the game a little bit because you don't have to convince them as much that it's like you have to be friends with Mickey Mouse.

26:54Annie D. McGreevy:It feels a little bit more oriented. So we had tweens. So we weren't quite as stuck in the mode of like, oh my God, where is the three-year-old if they're not on a leash? So lots of pros to the family destination. Cons tend to be very expensive. come with extremely high expectations. Literally, the motto is the happiest place on earth, right? Like, you have spent all this money, and it's supposed to be great. So if it's not going great, I think often people feel like sunken cost fallacy, like we've put$10 ,000 in, and if we're not having a good time, it can be pressurized. And I will say having done Magic Kingdom, God bless my husband, he's an engineer, he got the apps, he figured out all the things.

27:41Annie D. McGreevy:but I mean he and I were up at 6 a.m getting whatever fast passing fast pass and line genie and whatever we were doing it was you know 30 ,000 steps of walking a day it had a little bit of like but if we miss the 815 boat we won't be there for the line drop for our fast pass for the, you know, magical fun zone ride. It was amazing. But I will say when it was over, I thought to myself, that was not a vacation.

28:14Heidi Hedquist:That was also kind of a work trip. I think it's like, it's incessant and invites you towards that. And if it's expensive, then you think you have to do the morning activity. Like I'm thinking about Woodlock Pines, which you're not walking as much, but there's constantly double dare and then this, And then there's the name that tune contest. And then there's this. And you feel like you've paid for it, as you say. Right. Right. It's here. You waited all year to do this. The five-year-old is getting kind of cranky, but we're not going to like go back to the room and sit in the air conditioning. Why would we do that?

28:45Heidi Hedquist:And so I think then you kind of push a little too far.

28:48Annie D. McGreevy:Yeah. And I mean, obviously, in all of the happiest, most fun time destinations I've ever been with my kids. Everybody knows you will constantly see my kids kind of point them out now. Couples having bitter fights about like, you didn't bring the sunscreen or he's tired, whatever. It just, I think the pressure on those vacations can be very high. I will say tweens was a magical age for us at Magic Kingdom, but I do find the relentlessness a little much for me and it's a It's just something to balance.

29:26Heidi Hedquist:The relentlessness is an option is what I'm saying. It's just as hard to feel that way when you're there.

29:29Annie D. McGreevy:Yeah, I find it very hard to be somewhere at like, you know, breezes forever, you know, Punta Cana and be like, it is actually okay for us to stay in the room. I just I do find that that's very hard for me to resist. Right. Let's talk about going to just a destination like we're going to go to France. We're going to go to Jackson Hole. We're going to drive to Massachusetts. Pros, excitement of brand new things, lots of like learning opportunities, you know, lots of discovery, lots of excitement, you know, Magic Kingdom. You're like, there's Cinderella's castle. There's the thing I've seen all my life.

30:11Annie D. McGreevy:We took our kids to Boston, which I didn't, I didn't know the city well. My husband knew it very well. We just had a great time. Like, oh, there's a thing called the ducks. You know, there's these like duck statues because the famous story about like a policeman Make way for ducklings. Make way for ducklings. Exactly. There's a statue of that. Let's go find that. You know, let's go check that out. It's fun. I think like exploring a new place is super fun, but we've got cons, Amy. Lots of unknowns, lots of unfamiliar things, especially if you're traveling to a different country, like lots of different foods.

30:45Annie D. McGreevy:That can be really hard for kids of all ages, little kids, kids on the spectrum. like the idea of very unfamiliar things may not work for all kids.

30:59Heidi Hedquist:I was just talking to my kid as we were having our Szechuan tingly food about remember, he said, remember when we got to Beijing in the first place we went to, we had soup and it had chicken feet in it, in the soup. And it was our first meal. And he had as a child and I had as an adult, the same thought like, Like, oh, no, like we're not going to we're not going to make it through this trip. We're not going to feel comfortable eating things. It was fine and we did it. But yeah, that like this was a kid that was OK being pushed outside his comfort zone. But kids have different set points for that.

31:31Annie D. McGreevy:When we come back, we're going to talk about travel tips for kids of all ages and stages and all different abilities. Choice Hotels get you more of what you value. Comfort in. It's calling your name. Save on the stay. Oh, and free waffles are yours to claim. Book direct at storieshilletales.com.

31:55Heidi Hedquist:Tomorrow morning is knocking. Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha frappuccino drink? Or a sweet vanilla? Smooth caramel, maybe. Or white chocolate mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries.

32:16Annie D. McGreevy:And now. Classic husband fights from the What Fresh Hell podcast. The just because you can repeat exactly what I said doesn't mean you were listening fight.

32:26Heidi Hedquist:What? You were talking about your friend Jane or I don't know, Jen, the one who is annoying to you in some way. You were talking about her.

32:34Annie D. McGreevy:The why do I have to remember everyone's birthday and shop for them even though they're on your side of the family fight. Sweetheart, I don't know what kind of sweater my mom would like. The taking apart the dryer because why should we pay someone to fix it when I could do it myself fight. I should have this working by the weekend after next. At the latest, I just gotta figure out what part I need. The why did you bring this home from the grocery store when it's not at all what I asked for fight. If soy milk isn't real milk, then why does it say milk on it? The what?

33:06Heidi Hedquist:I'm supposed to give you a medal for doing six dishes? Fight. Knocked out the dishes, hon, except that gross one you did the chicken in, and the one with the eggs from this morning. I didn't know what you wanted me to do with those. This has been Classic Husband Fights from the What Fresh Hell podcast.

33:26Annie D. McGreevy:So let's talk about some tips. As everyone knows, I have a kid on the spectrum. I have family members on the spectrum and who have different needs and different disabilities and abilities. So I think sometimes it can be facile to be like, oh, it'll be a great adventure and they'll try new things. And there are kids for whom that is their worst day ever. So I think as you say, parent the kids you have, vacation the kids you have also. There are some ways to make this easier. The biggest thing is, I think, talking to your kids about travel. And so that can mean your kids help plan the vacation. for me a little tweet tweet like where should we go as a family I don't know that I want my six year olds opinion on that but the more you involve them with the planning the better the outcome for

34:22Heidi Hedquist:kids all across the neuro spectrum yeah and then whatever that plan is needs to be plan a knowing you might be plan b c and d my much younger brother came to visit me in New York this is when I was in my 20s and he was eight or nine and he came to stay with me for a couple of days and I had like we're gonna climb the not the Eiffel Tower we're gonna climb the Empire State Building and then we're gonna do this and then we're gonna do that and I took him to Central Park basically had like cut through on our way to our Rockefeller Center tour or whatever it was and he started climbing on rocks and then there was another kid climbing on the rocks and we spent like half a day with him climbing on rocks in central park which is not what you think you brought your you know kid to new york for but even though i was young at the time i realized like 20 minutes in like why am i fighting him he's happy climbing a rock and even though it seemed crazy to me we skipped all the stuff that i had planned and he just hung out with this kid in central park for hours and had the best time and then he watched cartoons in my bed i mean but

35:25Annie D. McGreevy:that's it. Like that is a thrilling vacation for a kid. And sometimes when you've put money into a vacation, you're like, this vacation is going to be about. And I think your young brother wouldn't have been like, what I want to do is rocks in Central Park. So you have to kind of stay light on your feet. When we were on our RV trip, I wanted to see a bunch of things, but we talked about a lot of things. My kid had been in a play about New York, so we were kind of doing the destinations from the play. So that kid was in, you know, got that. But one of the stops was Albany, New York, where there's not a million thrilling things to do.

36:01Annie D. McGreevy:But at the time, my kids were really into Hamilton and the Schuyler Mansion. They're all based in Albany, the Schuylers and Hamilton. There's like a cute Hamilton tour that you do. So I think be careful about the best vacation is the vacation you saw on TV that a different family was having. The best vacation is the vacation that works for your family and your kids. And I think vacations can feel very like, but the Joneses loved Punta Cana. And they said it was like, if you have a kid who is sensorily grossed out by sand, that's probably not going to be the best vacation. And I think this is a mistake that we make.

36:43Annie D. McGreevy:Sometimes of vacation is a magical place. This is your head goes with you, your kids go with you. Like, is this really going to work for your family?

36:53Heidi Hedquist:The serendipity of like, I didn't know this was here. And this turns out to be my favorite part of the trip. Like that happens over and over again, if you let it. And again, when you're traveling with your kids, the kid climbing the rock while you sit there is a good vacation. And you can go to the Frick when you come to New York by yourself as an adult. Amy, you're still trying to get me to the Frick. I don't want to go.

37:12Annie D. McGreevy:It's beautiful. These are, I think, great tips for younger kids or kids of any age on the spectrum that like traveling is frightening to kids. I think it's really important to recognize that and not try to be like, it'll be fun. You have to actually have the conversation of like, this seems scary to you. And I understand that. What are the things that seem scary? before we went to Paris with my kids. It was our first and only, oh my gosh, we're going overseas to travel. And I was a little bit like, this is going to be amazing. This is going to be amazing. And one of my kids the night before the trip, because I had not done this advice that I'm talking about, was really having a meltdown and freaking out.

38:00Annie D. McGreevy:And it finally came out that they were worried about the food. What were they going to eat? This kid was a very picky eater. And they were like, I don't want to go a place where the food is snails. That's kind of what they understood about France. Like there's other things too, but okay. I had never bothered to have that conversation with them. And I said, you can eat anything you want. And this is a lesson. When I ran my first marathon, I think I ran three. I had a book that was about training. And one of the things it said that I've quoted on the podcast before is don't attach secondary expectations to the marathon, which means don't be like, I'm going to lose weight.

38:42Annie D. McGreevy:I'm going to get in great shape. I'm going to feel amazing. Your only goal is to run 26.2 miles. And if you attach secondary expectations, like I'm going to lose weight, then you could run 26.2 miles and still feel disappointed in yourself. And I feel like this is such good advice for vacationing. Your goal is to take your family to Paris. And so if you have a kid who cannot eat other foods, pack a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of Wonder Bread, and they can have that all day, every day. And we actually pulled up to our hotel in Paris and literally right across the street was a McDonald's, which is a preferred food for my child.

39:26Annie D. McGreevy:And I was like, you can eat there all day every day. You can go breakfast, lunch and dinner and then you can just sit with us at dinners and taking that pressure off. Of course, what happened? They ended up trying lots of new foods, got like addicted to steak frites, thought that was the most amazing food ever. I mean, but I think show me the lie. Get rid of the idea that it's going to be fun and we're going to do as the French do like that might be too much for some kids.

39:53Heidi Hedquist:They don't have to drop every discomfort they have at the door. The trip is a lot, right? Getting in the car and trying something unfamiliar is already a lot for all of us and maybe for some kids more than others.

40:03Annie D. McGreevy:And you need to talk to these people and you need to eat this weird food.

40:07Heidi Hedquist:And eat these chicken feet right now.

40:09Annie D. McGreevy:Yeah. You can do, moms with kids on the spectrum will know, social stories, but you can do this with all kids. Let's look on the internet. This is what it's going to look like. This is what the hotel room is going to look like. You know, the showers are different there. And I mean, it is, is hard for I think a lot of kids, especially kids who are non-neurotypical, when the shower doesn't have a head, it's just like weird water coming out of the wall. I mean, it freaks people out. Another thing you can do is take shorter trips, like test it out a little bit. Your first trip probably shouldn't be Morocco or China or somewhere that, you know, take short trips.

40:51Annie D. McGreevy:The other thing I wanted to point out to people for kids who struggle with traveling or afraid of traveling, there is something called the TSA CARES program that we can link to. And this is a program where you can call ahead and get accommodations for TSA, which can be crowded and overwhelming for certain kids. You can also get a TSA disability notification card, which is just a small card that you hand to somebody and they then know the protocol of how to get your kid through. This is also useful if you're traveling with grandma or an older adult who needs different accommodations. And so if your thought is we can't travel because, start breaking that down into as small of pieces as you can and figure out which pieces of that are solvable.

41:47Annie D. McGreevy:Maybe your kid couldn't do it without headphones. How would that help? Maybe your kid is going to act up on the plane. Maybe you pre-board and let the flight crew know that your kid has something going on that's making travel harder for them. I think there's just a lot of ways to make travel easier on kids and that sometimes, and I'm speaking for myself, I would just be like, well, we got to do it. Let's buckle up buttercups. We're doing this. And in fact, in the year 2026, travel places have gotten much more accommodating to the idea that like not everybody walking in is physically the same or neurally the same.

42:31Annie D. McGreevy:And so you can call the hotel. How can you accommodate a kid in a wheelchair? How can you accommodate a kid who has any kind of difference and it's really useful to do?

42:42Heidi Hedquist:There's another thing that can happen. I mean, I totally agree with everything you're saying. There are also times that this stuff comes to light, as you say, like the night before, all of a sudden your kid is really worried about going. You might not know that this is going to happen. Or I was at the airport once with my family. We were doing an overnight flight. I forget where. We got to the airport. It's plenty of time. we're going to get dinner before the flight. And one of my kids just like had a meltdown, you know, while we were still sitting with there with our menus, it was baffling. And then underneath it was, we're going to miss the plane.

43:16Heidi Hedquist:And we had like two hours until we even boarded, right. And it came out of nowhere. But we slowed way down. I took that kid immediately to walk over to show them that the plane isn't even there yet, you know, and then we're going to look at this board. Traveling is so constantly stimulating. And there's so much stuff like, yeah, you just check the gate and you go and you go. Your kids might not know that. And along the way, there might be unexpected meltdowns. And definitely in those moments, maybe somebody needs to go back to the hotel. Maybe somebody needs to go sit at the gate because they're too and we'll let you know when your food comes, whatever.

43:49Heidi Hedquist:Just be okay with this rearing its head in unexpected small ways.

43:53Annie D. McGreevy:For sure. And also travel is stressful. I never travel without being stressed. I mean, I just did those two things go together for me. Some of my kids are very responsive to my stress. All kids are responsive to parental stress. Of course, all kids and some like even more so. I mean, there's a great saying like kids always define themselves at the center. So when they see you and your spouse stressing out and like, but do you have the thing? But you're just having a conversation with your spouse about like, you have the passports, I have the tickets. Okay. They're looking at the two of you and saying something's wrong.

44:32Annie D. McGreevy:Something's going wrong. And so they are filling in that gap of like, we're going to miss the, this was a bad idea. We should never have come. This is going to be a disaster. And so I think narrating as much as possible, what's going on and being in tune, maybe a little bit more in tune with your more sensitive kids, that that was really stressful getting through security. And dad and I got a little picking at each other there. I'm sorry if I was yelling at you guys. I find the organization of getting through TSA always stresses me out. But now we're on the other side of TSA. We can all take a deep breath and just letting them into the experience of, or like hey we were all really melting down late afternoon at the pool yesterday today should we just come in and have an hour of quiet time in the air conditioning like reading the signs and not getting lost and believe me dr hill thyself not getting lost in like it's the bingo party at the cabana at 3 30 and we're going we were going because we said we were going and really letting yourselves.

45:43Annie D. McGreevy:I have told this story before, but on that trip to Paris, we were on the bus, you know, the tour, but the big bus, the tour bus that you sit on top of. And we drove past a Stranger Things pop-up store. This was peak Stranger Things. It was the only thing my kids cared about in the world. And they wanted to go. And of course, I was like, we're not going to the Stranger Things store in Paris. We had oddly run into people from our town in Paris and we were all together. So it's like these like, you know, six kids. You're outnumbered. I was pretty adamant we're not going to the Stranger Things store.

46:16Annie D. McGreevy:That's not what we came to Paris for. Yeah. But my husband really smartly was like, let's do it. And we waited a full hour in line. And I'm like, we are sitting on a Stranger Things line. And I will say, my kids loved it. They had the best time. They were figuring out how to spend French money to get the things they wanted. The people were still speaking French. We were still in France. I think that you can miss magic on family vacations when you're busy being like, the fun thing is the door on the left. And like the door on the right is wide open and waiting for you. And you can see paradise through it.

46:54Annie D. McGreevy:But you're like, I chose the left door when I was planning this. So I'm not going through the door on the right.

47:00Heidi Hedquist:We're not stopping for gelato because we have tickets for the 515. I mean, right. The gelato is going to buy you like two days of goodwill from your 12 year old.

47:08Annie D. McGreevy:Yeah. We might have to revisit vacationing, Amy, because we have so many more like practical, easy tips that we didn't even get to because we had so much to talk about here today.

47:19Heidi Hedquist:This was a good topic. And this is our deep dive this month to our deep dive as we take from our thousand episode archive. Our producer, Erica, puts together groups of episodes that, you know, have a similar topic. And so this month on Mondays, we're also revisiting some of our other past episodes on traveling. Vacationing is hard.

47:36Annie D. McGreevy:We need a lot of help with it. Yeah, there's a lot to talk about. If you need a vacation from whatever you're doing right now, how about a vacation on your phone where you go and review the What Will Show podcast? I don't know.

47:49Heidi Hedquist:It was a stretch. I'm not going to lie. Truffle Salt just gave us a review. She says, years of listening and still my favorite. Best podcast for new and not new parents, curious people, engaged thinkers, people who are in process, or if you just love to laugh. I'm going to explain that because people say to me, you have a parenting podcast. I'm like, yeah, it's kind of a parenting podcast. And I'm going to say it's for curious people, engaged thinkers, people who are in process or people who just love to laugh. That's who it's for. Love it. Thank you, Truffle Salt.

48:14Annie D. McGreevy:Also, by the way, you're delicious on everything. Go review us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. And with that, we will talk to you next time. Thanks so much for listening. Thanks, everybody.

48:35Annie D. McGreevy:The right window treatments change everything. Your sleep, your privacy, the way every room looks and feels. At Blinds.com, we've spent 30 years making it surprisingly simple to get exactly what your home needs. We've covered over 25 million windows and have 50 ,000 five-star reviews to prove we deliver. Whether you DIY it or want a pro to handle everything from measure to install, we have you covered. Real design professionals. Free samples. Zero pressure.

48:58Heidi Hedquist:Right now, get up to 50 % off with minimum purchase. Plus, get a free professional measure at Blinds.com. Rules and restrictions apply.