CLIP: The Worst Gig of My Career with Eshaan Akbar

0:00Eshaan Akbar:Here I'm trying to get, for example, I don't know, the Ministry of Justice in America, where they've got, you know, HSBC on a deferred prosecution agreement, checking to make sure that HSBC aren't going to launder money to drug cartels anymore. They're coming to me, the CEO and the chairman. I might be the first or second person they meet, but I've got to be professional, serious, but warm enough for them to go, oh, listen to what he has to say. right because whether you're in high-end corporate or you're doing i don't know customer service at right yeah the same rules apply people by people yeah that's it and so in comedy the art becomes i need the whole audience whether there's 10 people in a room or as there was after my first live at the Apollo performance in St Albans four people in a cinema room in St Albans what sorry say that again I did after my first live at the Apollo performance yeah live at the Apollo performance yeah the next day I had a gig in St Albans yeah and there were four people

1:06Olly Fawcett:in the cinema room of 30 that's what we call a fall from grace right and the night before I'd just done the Hammersmith Apollo she's what five and a half thousand four and a half thousand flipping out that's that is the crazy thing I think like obviously I want to ask you about your worst gig and all that stuff but it's just like the for comics you just you know when you're a musician i feel like you kind of go through the levels right yeah you're when you're at arena level you don't really come back down unless you want to you know you want to do something private but for comics even you know whoever the best comic in the uk currently is they're still going to the smaller rooms right they're still kind of coming back down a level of audience if that makes sense yes ollie we are he said they whoever they are and he's caught me on the podcast come on bro

1:53Olly Fawcett:who are they ollie i don't know i have no idea um you is what i wanted to say i'm the only one who was available listen you're the one that said you did four and some almonds you know what i mean but tell it tell me tell me about i want to know the worst gig in the early days because there must be a great story there or some or the toughest gig when you started out was there a gig that made you not want to do it anymore ever there's never been a gig that's never

2:20Eshaan Akbar:made me not want to do comedy right because even in the gigs where i've died my inclination afterwards has been i need to i need to come back and fix that whatever that is do you know why you

2:37Olly Fawcett:guide when you guide do you know the moment uh sorry flopped is probably a nicer word yeah well

2:44Eshaan Akbar:yeah sorry it's a comedy parlance right um yes and i would say that nowadays um i am a lot more confident at calling out the death on stage really oh i do all the time like if it's happening i will say something like oh you're not enjoying this at all we need to do something else and usually just it saves the gig it also makes it better as well yeah you lift up you know that's experience yeah but when you first start out you go i've got i've got six minutes and i'm going to say those six minutes and if you laugh you laugh and if you don't i'm just gonna get in the car and drive and think about it so in the early days the the identification and i think the surprise to business or whatever yeah the more knowledge you get over time the more precise you can become with what the failure might be right okay do you have a larger pool of knowledge yeah so in the early days i probably thought i was dying for a a particular reason but in hindsight you go actually was it would have been this yeah and i would say this and this is going to sound really arrogant 98 of the time it's the audience's fault interesting Why?

4:01Eshaan Akbar:Because They They aren't warm They haven't quite understood What the exchange is As in they haven't been warmed up Yeah they haven't been warmed up properly Or they This is just not something that they want Or they expect something else And comedy differs from music In that sense Where a couple of things One with musicians we're tapped into the rhythm Of when they finish a song we clap even if the song's shit. And we know the words. And we know the words. That's the second bit, right? Yeah. Is more often than you see a musician that you like, or they do something, they can do a cover.

4:37Olly Fawcett:Yeah.

4:37Eshaan Akbar:They can do a cover before they do an original.

4:39Olly Fawcett:Yeah.

4:39Eshaan Akbar:Right? I can't go on and be like, I'm going, ah, ah. It's not going to work. They're going to go, why are you doing that bit? So the reasons why I've not been as successful or failed at a gig, in my opinion, I've got better identifying what those are and the things that there's also, the only time I've done a gig where, not that I've not wanted to do this anymore but not wanted to go back, is I did a gig in Kings Lynn and if any of your viewers are watching from Kings Lynn, I have this message Fuck Kings Lynn

5:21Eshaan Akbar:Like and subscribe

5:28Olly Fawcett:why why do you like anything there's a story there right so this particular gig do you know what you're the first person to fuck a country or a county on this podcast yeah anyway we're breaking barriers in 2026 i like it this is the rebirth that we came yeah yeah i'm here alienate kingling that was exactly what we decided yeah let's get issued on let's fuck off king's lane on the metadata just delete kingsley they're gone we're gonna be up

5:57Eshaan Akbar:yeah there's gonna be a story here what happened was i i at the part at this point so in comedy you start off doing open mic and they're kind of five to seven minute sets right is that only i thought it was longer than that is that what you get yeah when you first start out fine and And then as you progress, you get to do what's known as open spots. Right. And the open spots are in the middle section of a comedy night. Okay. Where there might be four comics and two of them might be middle spots or open spots. Okay. And those open spots are paid anything from expenses to 50 quid, maybe even 100 quid if you're lucky.

6:32Eshaan Akbar:Wow. Right. So at the time I was an open spot and I had just put together my first 10 minute set. Right. and I go to Kings Lynn and this is in 2016.

6:45Olly Fawcett:So you're like two-ish years in.

6:47Eshaan Akbar:Yeah, two-ish years in. I'm in Kings Lynn and the backdrop you need to this is the country is having a big debate about Brexit.

6:56Olly Fawcett:Of course. Yeah, yeah. God, that was 10 years ago. That's mental. It's mental, isn't it? It's mental, yeah. It's crazy.

7:03Eshaan Akbar:So I got on stage and as soon as I stepped on stage, 10 lads got up and started walking out immediately. and I was like oh lads where are you going you know all going for a piss at the same time you know something whatever I can think of and one of them turned around and said we don't want to hear what a p word has to say and by the way he didn't say p word yeah he said the word right and I've only got 10 minutes so I'm like okay I guess it's that kind of gig carry on with my set they leave It was so out of pocket. Yeah. I was like, right, I'm just going to do my set. So I'm doing the set. I got maybe two laughs.

7:41Eshaan Akbar:And you know when I said like 98 % of the time it's the audience's fault? This is one of those situations where the audience just, they don't want me there.