Kareem Rahma: Content Overload

27:54And like people are doing real analysis and research. And I love it because there's not really a place, I think, in America at all to have a civilized yet still kind of like rambunctious conversation. In the same way that it used to feel like you could get a bunch of people to have dinner and they would have slightly opposing beliefs. And you would have a good time and be like, man, I love that. Like I loved dinner with so-and-so because he's insane. Like he's stupid, but I loved the conversation. You know, you used to be able to have that conversation. At least I did. And now I feel like you can't have that conversation.

28:34You're just like, this person is awful. Do you think you had a yearning for that coming from an Egyptian household? Dude, I stand in front of my TV with my arms crossed behind my back watching CNN at 7 a.m. like I have the old school Arab dad mentality. And so when I used to see my dad like interacting with his friends, they were all so, they were always arguing. Always? Yes. There was never a moment where they weren't. I'm so glad you said that. This is a thing that I've been trying to explain to many of my like American friends who sort of have no recent immigrant family. Everyone came here at some point, but they don't have any recent immigrant family.

29:19And I go, one of the national pastimes of most immigrant communities is arguing. Yeah. But like arguing for the sake of arguing, but like in a really, really fun, it's about football. Who's the best footballer? Who's the best team? Who's the best coach? And then it moves to like, but it's always benign, you know? Oh, where do you get the best homos? Well, that's not homos. You can't even count that place. But with a passion. Yeah, and then you fight and you're arguing. You don't know food. We don't know food. and you get into this whole thing. And they don't talk for 24 hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

29:49But like that thing, it's funny that you say that because I would say this to my friends, especially like my American friends, I'd go, I sometimes feel like Americans need to fight more seriously about things that are less serious so that they can just enjoy the fight. Not every fight can be about like war in Iran. For sure. These are big fights, guys. This is too big. And it's exhausting. Healthcare, yo, that's a big fight. Just fight about small things. Yeah. You know? I mean, every once in a while, I will just choose violence and lob something into the group chat that I know is just going to piss like literally sitting last night on my couch and I said to my wife I go I think I'm going to start a little fight in the group chat and she goes about what I was like I'm not sure yet but like it's been awfully quiet this is a family group chat no no this is just like my closest friend just a group okay they're mostly actually white and they would not know not really I mean I do it all the time.

30:41I instigate a fight and then everyone does fight, but it's overtaxed, but it's fine because it's still a good fight. And then maybe one person will leave a little bit hurt, but it's like, it doesn't matter. It'll just be like, and, and I do, yeah, I miss that. I mean, I've, I've said before, like my favorite hangout is a dinner with like four to six people that are all smart, but maybe don't agree on everything and just having four hours of arguing. What did, What did you throw into the group chat? What did you say? I don't remember. I have to look. Oh, well, this is a recent one. Yeah. This isn't yesterday's.

31:15Because I think yesterday I got distracted and she was like, don't do that. And I was like, okay. But one time somebody was choosing where we should go on a bachelor party. Okay. And they chose what I thought was an awful place. And everyone else went, okay, yeah, sounds good. Like, great. And I go, Denver sucks. Why would we go to Denver? Wow. And then they were like, you can't. And then they were like, you can't do this. Like he's on the chat. And I'm like, the bachelor party is not for the bachelor. It's for us. It's for, it's for his friends. Also, as a good friend, I want him to have a memorable time of his life.

31:49And you guys are bad friends for letting him choose Denver. Also, who said the bachelor gets to choose? The bachelor doesn't get to choose. The bachelor gets to come, but his friends get to choose. And so I, I, I went as far as to write several emails. So it started in the group chat. It exploded. And then it moved into email. And then I moved into email because I wanted to write longer arguments with the help of, you know, editing software and, you know, be able to use Grammarly and such and like make sure. So I would write these formal emails to the committee and say, I think that this is a bad decision.

32:20And then where did you guys end up going? Denver. Oh, man. I lost. I eventually, because somebody was like, you're starting to hurt his feelings. Somebody was like, hey, he's really stressed. But I don't think. He's really stressed out and his feelings are starting to get hurt. And I was like, I'll lay off. And actually, we had a great time. I think it was right outside of Denver. I don't think you're wrong, though. Not about the Denver thing, but about... I don't think The Bachelor is supposed to choose. Right? I don't think so. I think it's supposed to be the best man. Isn't that like the job of the best man is like your job is to plan the Bachelor party and then...

32:49Who was the best man? This other guy who was going with the flow. Oh, that's a failure. And The Bachelor's excuse was he was like, I don't want to trouble you guys with traveling to another country. I was like, dude, we are dying to go anywhere else. Like, let's not go to Denver. What time of year was it? It was a beautiful time of year. It was like May, I think, or June. Huh. Yeah. Denver Bachelor. You live, you learn. I mean, yeah, I like that as a... But you see, the more important thing to me is the fight. Yeah, the fight was awesome. You've just got to like... You've just got to fight, man.

33:22You've got to argue. You have to... That thing... I remember when I went to Egypt, I was lucky. So we were in Qatar for the World Cup. And then there were like a few days where there were no games. And then my friends were like, let's just go to Egypt. We're this close. We'll never do it. Let's just fly. And it was like a few hours. We popped over to Egypt. And it really felt like, you know, those old like, I don't even know what those movies were called. Comedies. But there was like American Pie and those. It was like a road trip. Anything could happen. Right. It was like that. And we just went.

33:59And then we're like, we got to go to the pyramids. and then we're in the pyramid. Yes. And then we're like, is that a KFC next to the pyramid? And we're like, we're going to the KFC next to the pyramid. And then we're getting stopped by cops randomly in the middle of the night. For fun. Yeah. And they weren't like threatening or anything. They were just curious, I guess. They just like to check out the ideas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just checking stuff. And then next thing you know, we're having dinner with random people that we've met, eating a meal at like 11 p.m. at night, midnight. You know what I mean?

34:23But the one thing I discovered wherever I went in Cairo, arguments. Yeah, just yelling. Just great arguments. everyone fighting about every single thing at dinner at lunch in a hotel lobby but in like a it made me feel like i was home yeah is that how it feels south africa too africans come on man doesn't matter where you are in africa full on full on as soon as things get boring you're hanging out with your ghanaian friends or nigerians just be like who's got the best jollof and then we're on yeah just drop a little fight just drop a little fight just everyone I remember when I was like inviting a bunch of people to Cairo and I wrote, it was like an FAQ.

35:01And the last cue was, why is everyone yelling? And the answer, I had a bunch of questions. It was, why is everyone yelling? And I said, we're not yelling. This is just how we talk. I like that. That's it. It's just loud, obnoxious, go like this a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get into it. And everyone does look like this. I will say that though. The one difference I think between, well, maybe it's because I'm familiar with it. I feel like Africans look less angry when they're in the argument. They definitely do. They look less angry in general. Arabs, for some reason, do look. I'm Arab. I sometimes look in the mirror.

35:35I'm like, I look kind of angry. Not right now with this face, but usually I'm like. Oh, yeah, yeah. And that's just my thinking face. Yeah, that's the face. It's not an angry face. But I'll sit at the computer and I'm like, oh, sorry. People might think. Yeah, yeah, that's the face. And like a little bit more angry, a little more intense. It just has a little, yeah, there's a little intensity. Yeah, whereas African arguments, they have like a big, sometimes you even struggle to know when the person is really angry or in like a joyful angry. Don't go anywhere because we got more What Now after this.

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38:44Before I forget, Subway Hot... Subway Takes. It is Subway Takes, right? Yeah, Subway Takes. You see, that's a Mandela effect. I thought it was like Subway Hot Takes. There's a lot of people that call it Subway Hot Takes. Yeah, I don't know why. I don't know why either. I guess because we just think it's a hot take? It's always shocking to me. Why would that? That shouldn't be shocking. You're like, hey, Subway Hot Takes. I'm like, that's me. So, yeah. I think that makes sense. People also call me that. They call you Subway Hot Takes. They just go, oh, Subway Takes. Or this is my favorite one. You're the guy.

39:11I go, mm-hmm. that's it that's the conversation that's good though it's great that's when you know you've made it you're the guy yeah do people do that to you yeah no no they will so what will happen to me is but I have to be careful sometimes people will say to me hey man are you the guy and then I I used to go which guy and then they would be like the guy from TV and then I'd be like which show on TV and then it would seem like I'm trying to like pull things out of them so then at some point I thought let me just let's expedite this conversation. Let's get it going. They go, are you the guy?

39:46I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's me. And then they'd go, why did you leave CNN? I'm like, who do you think I am? And then some people would think, genuinely would think I'm Don Lemon. I've never seen the resemblance. Oh, I don't see Don Lemon at all. I was going to say, this is the first time that I've seen a resemblance, but I could see The Weeknd. So I get The Weeknd. Only time, though. I get The Weeknd in Europe all the time. Oh, cool. Yeah, people - That's a good one to be. People will come up to me, and then they will go, the craziest was in Stockholm I was there at the exact same time that he was doing shows I was doing shows and in the streets people were coming up they were just like hey I'm so excited to come to your show tonight and I was just like yeah I was like damn everyone's coming to my show that's so funny and then like my show was sold out luckily but then afterwards I found out oh the weekend's in town they thought you were able they did good guy They did.

40:39So yeah, so the weekend I get, and then sometimes from far, Bruno Mars. Like a tall one. Yeah. Well, they don't know how tall Bruno Mars is. That's the thing I've learned. He's a short man. Yeah. I think. No, no, Bruno's fully short. Mandela effect. No, no. I know Bruno Mars. Bruno Mars is a short man. But tall is like his vibe. Yeah, he's a confident. Bruno feel like you look up to Bruno when you're standing next to him, even though he's shorter than you. He radiates. But you're going to do subway hot takes in Cairo, right? Yeah. I mean, here's the thing also about Cairo, which I love. I was born there and it feels like a home to me.

41:18There's not a ton of amazing news. There's a lot of news. There's a lot of good news. There's news. Okay. But I was on a panel in Cairo and I just lobbed it out and was like, would love to do it in Cairo. And then the next day there were four news articles. That said you're doing it in Cairo. Yes. That said next stop for subway takes Cairo. And so now I am going to go. Because that is how I base a lot of my life. Is based on where people want me to go. So I was like, all right, they want me here. I guess I'll go. But it was really funny. I was shocked the next day. It's like Kareem Rama says next stop is Cairo.

41:54And I'm like, I guess I'm going to Cairo. I mean, I feel like you should do it everywhere in the world. I've seen the ones. You've done London. I've done London. So you've done the tube? I've done Paris. Oh, you've done, I didn't know you did Paris. I've done Berlin. Oh, you see, I didn't know these things. Chicago. Oh, this is great. You should do, you should literally do everywhere in the world. I want to, but some places like you, like you were saying, like Japan, I don't think they're going to like me there because they have a nice culture. No, I think you're wrong actually. You know, you're not like allowed to do anything.

42:24No, no, no, no, no. I think that's an unfair mischaracterization of like Japanese people. I think they're very They're very aware of Like another person's space You know They're very considerate But when we were on Like when I've been to Japan multiple times with my friends And when we're on the train talking No one's like There's no like People aren't even looking at us like Why are you speaking And obviously we also considerate So we're not speaking extra loud I think you could do subway takes in Japan So it's more of like they are policing themselves. Yeah. And you would - But they're not going to judge you.

43:04Yeah. I think it's the - Because it's a cultural thing. Right, right, right. The society's doing it. So you're the anomaly by talking slash whatever. They'll let this chaos agent on the train. Yeah, but I don't think you'd bring chaos. You'd just be a guy having a conversation in the corner. I know, but I have big body language. No, you'd be fine. It'll be fine. Well, I do want to do Tokyo. I made a concerted effort because every time I go to London, I get so much love. Like, it's crazy. I'm like, I feel like I'm famous in London. You know that joke? Like, I'm big overseas. Like, that's a literal reality for London specifically.

43:42So, I've like doubled down on my commitment to that city. So, now I'm going every quarter to shoot episodes there. So, now it's like, that is the second home of Subway Take. That's beautiful, man. But then, you know, selfishly, I also have not seen a ton of the world. I've seen a good amount of the world, but I would love to go back to Tokyo. Yeah. Haven't been to like Brazil, like Rio would be amazing. There's so many places that I want to go, even in the US. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you in the subway trying to do one of your shows? Honestly, people are so nice. Nothing, nothing, nothing's ever happened?

44:16No. Oh, that's right. Literally people are, I mean, no, that's really good. no no i mean it's good for like it's good for a life going in the right direction it's bad for like it's bad for that question yeah for not having a story yeah i don't have a story i don't have a good i mean i guess one time like there was a little confusion as to who a person was that was filming us so there was a there was a guy on the train filming me yeah with another guy doing subway takes okay and then a more like a less stable person was also on the train yeah And he saw that guy filming and for some reason got mad and slammed the phone out of that guy's hand.

44:57But then that guy thought that the slammer was my bodyguard. And that he was like, dude, I'm so sorry. I didn't know we couldn't film. I didn't know it was a close set. I was like, I don't know that guy at all. And so there was a little bit of like Spider-Man meme. Yeah. that was probably the worst situation where i was like wait that guy's not with me is he with you he's not with me i was like oh and who's that guy he's just a protector i love that kind of shit so much and then he slammed the phone and then he kicked it all the way to the other side of the train it was it was um it was intense oh man i love those moments i just i don't even i don't even think i can explain to you how much i love those kinds of you can see it in your head yeah because it's it's it's to me that's pure comedy it's just like it's it's it's written flawlessly when it just happens in life.

45:46It was so good. It's like, do you know him? No, I don't know him. Who's the... Because he did the right action for a bodyguard. He was an aggressive bodyguard though. Yeah, but he still... It was the right action. Slap the phone, kick the phone away. This is what you would think. You'd just be like, yo, man, that Kareem guy. He's got aggressive bodyguards, but they do their job. Yeah, exactly. That's what happened. So that's the craziest thing that's happened. But I mean, the other thing about the show is it's amazing because it's... It is literally the best, like... and I don't want to call it networking, but, like, I feel like I have friends, so many friends.

46:18Oh, that's great. Because I go to London, I meet 25, 30 new people every single time I go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I go to Berlin, I meet 25, 30 people, Paris, like, and at this point, I still do all the booking. So, like, it's, I DM people, I find them, blah, blah, blah. And so I make, I feel like I have so many friends. You know what I mean? That's really great, actually. Yeah, it's really, that's, like, one of the big, like, people are like, will you ever stop doing the show? And I'm like, inevitably, yes, of course, like everything must end. But I'm like, that's the thing that I'm going to miss the most is like being able to meet 20 people in three days or whatever, like 20 cool people who are comedians or independent filmmakers or whatever.

46:55And it's almost like speed dating. You know what I mean? How do you pick them? It's like a vibes based situation. Yeah. It's not like really, it's not, it's definitely not quantitative at all. So there's zero, I don't look at anyone's followers or numbers at all. That's a complete, doesn't matter at all. What I try to do though, is I try to book people who feel like they deserve a platform. Okay. And deserve, not deserve, but need like some exposure. Right. So, so I try to choose like independent comedians. comedians. I try to choose writers and authors and filmmakers and then maybe people like some nonprofits.

47:41I try to curate this list kind of in the same way that a magazine editor would edit a magazine. I looked at it like a magazine instead of a page. So I try to choose people based on, are they interesting? Do they have something to say? And then what are they working on? And can Can I be of service essentially? Because when I was starting out, like I would have wanted to be on subway takes because it would have felt like I was doing Fallon or, you know, Conan or whatever. Like I was doing standup on one of those shows. And that's what it feels like to me is really important. It's like, are you working on something?

48:16Could you use the additional exposure? And are you a cool, nice person? Really? Like that's really what comes out. What happens when the celebrities come on? Is that inbound? Oh yeah, that one's just, that one that one's also really difficult because we get i mean we get a lot of inbound like a ton yeah and all of them have been inbound so far and i've been not really trying to like book anyone or manifest anyone like everyone's like who's your dream guest i keep saying ben affleck because it's just a good answer uh and he is kind of you know he is my dream guest he's amazing i think ben affleck's the best but i haven't reached out to him yet but um but choosing because because i try to keep the DNA of the show alive.

48:55So having one celebrity out of every like 15 to 20 guests is a very low ratio. And it really means, you know, 20 or 30 celebrities a year. And that one is just mostly based on like, who have I always wanted to meet? You know what I mean? Like, if it's like, I try to do like icons, you know, we had the last interview with Jane Goodall, which is amazing before she passed away um obviously ethan hawk and spike lee and jason babe like kind of like legends you know like living legends or just people who i think are hilarious but also what's the definite now i'm rambling but like who is a celebrity now like like is eric andre a celebrity like what i mean is i mean people whose success was sort of defined before the internet era okay that generally is what i mean okay good that's exactly like their fame came from movies or music or it's like yeah I'm usually I'm just like who do I I have an opportunity to meet my heroes so let's pick them do you think you'll ever release the missing Kamala Harris one I haven't I'll show it to you if you want to come over that's like all I want to see okay I'll show you it have it on my phone watch I get robbed after this It's in the cloud guys It's securely protected in the cloud Yeah I don't think I'll ever release it It just seems like it's unnecessary I mean I could release it Okay wait what do you mean by unnecessary?

50:28To release it? Because now I'm like whoa how bad was this thing? Well what's the point of releasing it? She's just a civilian Is she though? I don't know just leave her alone I don't think that's how it works She ran and lost Yeah no no but I don't think that just makes you a civilian She's a civilian now Rocky lost the first movie. That didn't make him a civilian. Yes, it did. No, it didn't. Yes, it did. If you lose, you're a civilian. And you're a civilian. No, you're a superstar now. It's like it's a different thing. I guess it doesn't provide any value for it. Because let's put it this way.

50:56If Kamala Harris shows up at like a rally or says, I'm doing a thing, people will show up. They won't be like, who's the civilian lady trying to mobilize people? Do you know what I mean? I know, but it's not newsworthy. No, I'm not even thinking about the newsworthiness of it. I just go, look, on my side, I'm just curious. I'll show you. Okay, cool. But does the American public need to watch it? Do they need to know? No, no, no, no, that I'm less concerned about. Some people have said that the American public deserves to see it. That's an interesting one. There have been comments. There have been some comments from some people that are like, you - Because they go, you have this piece of information that sort of affects American politics and culture, and by not releasing this, that I'm technically You are a fact in I'm complicit in a cover-up.

51:45That's the exact words. You are. That's my take. Don't. My take is you are complicit in a cover-up. I'm not complicit in a cover-up. As a journalist, you have an obligation. I'm not a journalist. People call you that. You know that, right? And I always tell them I'm not. No, but I think it's crazy. Some people literally will be like, oh, the journalist. I don't know when this happened. About me? Yeah, but I don't know when this happened. But there's this weird thing that started happening in American news and culture where the people who were tasked with doing a certain job then started claiming other people had the job and then would judge them for not doing the job that they had given them even though it was never their job so I it first started you know it became apparent to me when when it was about comedians I started seeing a lot of articles being written about comedians myself included but it would just be like oh why aren't more comedians speaking about the and i was like wait wait what is happening here a journalist is asking why comedians are not speaking out about whatever issue they want them to speak out about but i was like but you are a journalist you work for a large publication that is informing people why are you not writing about it yeah they're writing about you not they're writing about the person not writing not it yeah but i was like i i don't know and then and then i started finding it i remember someone complaining about like mr beast show and was a journalist and they were saying mr beast show is a a terrible you know it's it's like what it's the worst of them why does he not show the better sides of america and why is he not trying to uplift the i was like but what are you writing about what are you you are the you are the publication do you know what i mean and i i've seen a few with you where people would be like they try and put you in like journalist land because of the level of guest you're you're getting on occasion they'll be like oh but you should be like how do you how do you even think of that how do you think of that quote-unquote pressure in that way i just respond honestly yeah i'm like you're doing yourself a disservice by saying this about yourself because I'm literally just a jokester.

53:55I'm a clown. I don't even believe in what I'm saying, which is really true. Like, if I actually 100 % agreed or 100 % disagreed with every opinion on the show, I would probably be a maniac. Because first of all, there's no such thing as 100 % on either agree or disagree. And that's what makes it good. And that's the joke. That's what makes it good. That is the point of the show. Yes, it is like, here's... You have to. 100 % disagree, 100 % agree. And half the time I've never thought about these things and will never think about them. And also, forget about 100 % agree or 100 % disagree. What about I literally don't care at all.

54:31I just do not care. Whatever you just said sometimes doesn't even make sense. And then I just pick an option and let them explain it to me. And it's just funny because I did go to journalism school, which maybe is a reason that some people - Wait, wait, wait, you did? I did. This guy's burying the lead here. This guy's a journalist. I chose it because it was - Yo, man, this guy's out here talking about you're not a journalist. This guy's an actual journalist. I couldn't tell you one thing about journalism. Yeah, but you are qualified. Did you finish journalism school? I finished, but I - You are a journalist.

54:59No, but with an emphasis in advertising. If we were - And I only worked in advertising. Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. Wait, what? Exactly. You went to journalism school with an emphasis in advertising? Yes, because I'm ahead of the game, baby. I'm ahead of the game. I've known for a long time that we are compromised as an industry. And I said, you know what? I'm going to get ahead of this. and learn both the things. But journalism's easy. Wait, wait, wait, but let's go back. And I'm sorry, I'm probably going to get fucking Chalamet over this. I just said journalism's easy. I take it back. I'm ducking directly to the camera.

55:32I take it back. You know you can't take it back. Journalism's not easy. What I meant was it's an easy major in college. Okay. I'm just going to let you know you can't take it back. Timothy Chalamet, he even said in his, when he said ballet and opera, and then he said no shots at the ballet community and he tried to take it back. You can't take it back. You said journalism's easy, and that's it. It's done. By the way, Timothee Chalamet wasn't wrong, by the way. I just don't think people like the flippancy with which he said the thing. They don't like the truth. No, no. I think it's how the truth was delivered.

56:02Also, I've worked in newsrooms. I know journalism's not easy. I know that journalism as a major is so easy. What makes it easy? It's easy compared to all the other majors. I never went to university, so I don't know what makes - And you're a journalist. Look how easy it is. This guy. It's true, man. Look, the major is easy. It is. I don't know how I can describe it as easy other than when I went to school and they were like, you have to choose a major. I was like, what is it? Like I had a friend who was like studying to be an engineer. I had another friend who was studying to be a computer scientist, another friend that was studying to be a fucking doctor and they were always studying.

56:37And then I was like, I don't want to be always studying. I want to be hanging out. Like how can I just hang out during college? That sounds way better than studying. And I asked a bunch of people and they were like, well, journalism is pretty easy to agree. And I said, great, I'll just do that. I didn't choose it because I'm passionate. I chose it because it was there. And I was a junior and I needed to pick a major to graduate from college. I did generals for two years. Generals are like when you don't have a major. So I spent two years just dabbling in American history, a little this, a little that.

57:08But look where it got you. Yeah, but none of this is related to school, honestly. I didn't learn the damn thing in school i went because it was fun i stand by that personally i think most people should go to school not to learn something per se but to experience the community and the vibe of all the people you wouldn't otherwise meet yeah i think school is still like one of the few melting pots that exists well i don't know if it'll if it'll be for a while with with how they're coming after it but um you know i i genuinely think that i'm like yeah just go to school that's the only reason I would want everyone to go to university and stuff.

57:45Yeah, it's just, you go meet people that you would, you know, it's their subway takes. Yeah, yeah. You meet 20 to 30 people that you would never know. Now you've got friends in Berlin, friends in London, you know? Yeah, no, it's, like I worked at the New York Times. Maybe this is why people think I'm a journalist. I worked at Vice, I worked at the New York Times, but I wasn't a journalist at either. What were you doing there? I was behind the scenes. I was like doing content development, essentially what I do now for myself. Okay. Which is thinking of new formats and new video series ideas. And then I would give them to a journalist or some other entertainer, you know?

58:19And then... Did any of them blow up or... Nothing like that I invented exploded, no. But I was always like in the room. And sometimes it was just based on like a small project. I remember one time at the Times, we had this, it was like, I think it was like a four-part series on ISIS or something. I think, I can't recall. And they were like, how do we get more reach on this? Like, it's super expensive if we produce this thing. It took like seven months. Like, what do we do? And I was like, I have an idea. Let's translate it into like five languages. And everyone was like, that's a really good idea.

58:55And so we did translate it into like Arabic, Spanish. I think Portuguese or French, whatever. And it did really well. I mean, it got five times the viewership that an English language video would get. You know what I mean? It was something as simple as that. That was like, now we should do this for other videos that are global news. Because it's global news. So it kind of makes sense. So you're working in these, I mean, these are like institutions. I know Vice was the challenger brand. But the New York Times is like, that's the New York Times. What makes you leave? And what gives you the goal, as they would say?

59:39The gold, my man. What gives you the gold to think that you can survive without the New York Times?

59:49I had always wanted, when I moved to New York, I wanted to be like an entrepreneur. Like I came here in search of, I was like, when people went out west to search for gold, I did the same. I was like, except I went east because I didn't know, I knew one guy in New York and I was like, that's enough to get started. Because you were growing up, you were in the Midwest. Yeah, yeah, I was in Minnesota. Minnesota, right. And I remember I was inspired to leave Minnesota because I went to Europe for the first time. I went to London. I went to Berlin. I went to Zurich randomly. And I went to Florence, Italy.

1:00:20Why did you go to Zurich? I had like a, like a, my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend's like brother-in-law, something, something, some random person was there. Okay, okay. So we went. Okay. And I went on this like three month trip. Or maybe it was only two months. And I got back to America and I was like, I got to get, I got to get out of Minnesota. Shout out Minnesota. I love Minnesota. But that trip, I was just like, I don't belong in this kind of city. I belong in a big city. And so that's why I came to New York. But the intention was always to be like a businessman or an entrepreneur. That's what I didn't have any desire to be a journalist or a comedian or anything.

1:00:57I just want to be rich. So I came here to get rich. And I immediately got poor. Poorer than I already was. Because I worked at Vice. Yeah. And Vice wasn't even intentional. Like, I was just like, where should I work? And somebody was like, you should work at Vice. I go, cool, what is that? Didn't even know what media was. Didn't understand journalism. And I even went to journalism school. But they put me in the advertising area where I was like, yeah, I get this part. Like, sell things. Yeah. And, you know, after I worked at Vice, which was like getting an MBA in media, I was with 125-year-old people.

1:01:35And I had zero friends. And then all of a sudden I had at least 125-year-old acquaintances, still not friends because they were mean to me because I was fresh off the boat from Minnesota. And then the Times called and they were like, I'd been working there for about two and a half years. And the Times was like, hey, do you want to work here? And I was like. Will you pay me more? I didn't even care that it was the New York Times. I legitimately didn't care. I just go, will you pay me more money? And they go, yes. I said, I want this number. I'll tell you what the number was. It was$100 ,000. I like it.

1:02:09Clean. Clean. Six figures. I said, exactly. Not a penny more. Yeah. I said, give me$100 ,000 and I'll do it. And they go, okay. Call my mom. Guess what? I make six figures. Hey. She's like, wow, really? I'm like, yeah. later find out that they had budgeted like 140k for the role but i came in my goal was to get 100k different six figures but i was like whatever man like i just need 100k which i got and so anyways what gave me the gal to leave gal got gal to leave the gal the gal that's how i know it maybe in america it's gal i don't know i just the gall the gall i think it's the gall yeah it's the gall the gall i was i was just i felt like i was ready i knew enough people that's really what it was the biggest thing is i knew enough people but it's the opposite of chasing money though yes but like why would you leave the six figures to go and like make internet videos because it's not like the money was apparent well there there's still a time in between that where i set out to like start my own business yeah which i did it was a media business okay it was still in the same realm and that still was the goal was still to get rich and i did not again so many times there's also a whole history of this going back to when i was 14 this has been my number one priority in my life is to get rich yes until i turned 33 what did you start with at 14 mowing lawns oh very nice yeah very nice used to haul this big fucking lawnmower like my dad would drive me around.

1:03:42I had one client. Wait, that's it? And I got fired. Oh, man. And then I started over. How do you get fired from mowing lawn? He's just like, I don't need you anymore. How do you not need someone to mow your lawn? What happened here? I don't know, man. I don't remember. Huh. I cannot say. Without my lawyer here, I cannot say. Okay, okay. Oh, yeah, this one. Yeah, yeah, okay. I don't know what happened, but I remember this old man. He was just like, yeah. I think I just did a bad job. at mowing lawn. Yeah. That is like the simplest, most obvious thing. You push the machine, it cuts the grass, the job is done.

1:04:22It was a huge yard. Even better. And I didn't have a driver's license. I don't think that there's no correlation between those two things. I think I was scheduling issue. It was a scheduling issue. So, okay, cutting grass, fired. Fired. Yeah. And then McDonald's and then telemarketer and then mortgages. Telemarketer? All of these things. What were you selling? Furnace and duct cleaning. Furnace and duct cleaning? Yeah. Hello, this is Kareem with Homeplace Furnace and Duct Cleaning. Do you have an average 2 ,000 square foot home or less? I do not, Kareem. I'm not getting you going. No, are you serious?

1:05:01And then what are you trying to do? Well, how big is your house? Okay, let's go. 2 ,200 square feet. 2 ,200 square feet. Okay, so yeah, that's about average. It's about 2 ,000 square feet. And have you had your furnace and duct cleaned before? I don't even know if my furnace and duct gets cleaned. Well, you definitely need it. There's like all the bacteria and germs in your house, all the dead air, all the bacteria. Like that's how things travel. You got to get it cleaned so that the air that's circulating throughout your home is clean. Oh, shit. Yeah, hold on. Let me get a quote for you. Amanda.

1:05:33$80? Okay. so we can have someone out there for$80 how's tomorrow looking for you? damn look at that I've hung up on people like you all the time it was so fun as soon as the person like says I'm from gone this is a different era though oh this was a different time well this was when it was kind of special no one knew who was going to call them because they were now they're like kind of automated and they're they're from other they're from like you know they're outsourced now it's like I'm from Minnesota sitting there reading a lowrider magazine I'm in a room this big with 10 other people my age who are all making$10 for every sale that they get.

1:06:13Plus our minimum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a leaderboard. It was kind of like boiler room except really sad and depressing. I like this. Because we were making like 80 extra dollars a week. But this guy Joe, close friend of mine, he was a killer. What did he do differently? Dude, he was just so good. He was so cocky. And he treated it like a joke. and sometimes people would like be mean to him and then he'd just be mean right back. He was awesome. He's my good friend. He was like the top of the leaderboard. Yeah, he was such a cool guy. Where's Joe now? I don't want to talk about that. Okay.

1:06:45Yeah. All right, we just move on. He got in the bat. Yeah. Oh, sorry, Joe. He's an okay guy. He's a great guy. Anyways, all of these things happened and then, so I failed, I failed, I failed, I failed, I failed. Yeah. My whole life has been failures. Really, I'm like not exaggerating. It's been hard. Yeah. And then at 33, Jesus here, I was like, I have to stop. I just had this imposter syndrome where I was like, I have to stop pretending I am a CEO or a businessman or an entrepreneur or that I know any of these things. Like, I have to stop trying to get rich quick because now I'm 33 and everything has failed and I need to try something new.

1:07:26and the thought of like emailing for a living for the next 50 years was really scary to me especially because i wasn't good at it like my emails are still bad there i email like jeffrey epstein that's probably why you lost the denver argument you switched to your weak side no no because that one i was using some assistance oh okay okay i was using assistance on those because i needed to make a really good case okay but my normal emails yeah are really when i saw jeffrey epstein's emails i was a little concerned they were terrible that's how i yeah it was like all lowercase that's how i type oh man like if you were like hey what time are you coming i'd be like soon that's all i'd say did you find the place no send help i have the opposite issue my my texting is too formal really yeah my younger brother always he's like yo man you need to like you need to loosen up i don't abbreviate anything i don't like thank you you know when people just write ty that's what i do no no no no no you're right thank you i write thank you don't tell me you do periods yeah i do i do i put periods in yeah no i do no i put the the the we call it a full stop put a full stop where the full stop needs to be i have double spacing after a full stop because you can't just like put one space um journalist no because my mom so when i was young my mom ran her own like come like business from home and she would type a lot she was like in real estate and she'd type a lot and then i would have to type things with her and help her oh so she would go through the work so i would be like to whom it may concern dear sirs slash madam i would like to inform you of an issue that has occurred so i couldn't like i couldn't be loosed with things i couldn't you know what i mean so when texting comes into my life i'm already like well versed in the arts of you know formal conversation do you sign off i do that's nice i like that i do genuinely like i like i so you'll put dash trevor yeah i'll put like that's or you know like a little trevority or you know and then i have to try not do that with people one of my friends even said to me once hey i know that you know it's me so stop using my name when you start the text please because i will do that i will message you and i'll go hey kareem and then you'll go yes obviously it's me because it's my phone because people will message me all the time and be like yo what are you doing this friday and i'm like yo who yeah yo you're just gonna yo me i do that when i call people you do what like you would have my number and i go yo trevor it's kareem and you'd be like i know oh yeah i do that all the time but i love doing that no that's i think it's so no because it's fun it's that's hilarious or or or or they'll call me and i'll go this is kareem and they'll be like i called you oh that's brilliant yeah no you see that's good that's like to establish that it's me that's good i like what if it's an imposter No, no, no.

1:10:13I like that, actually. Yeah. I like that. Especially in the age of AI. Exactly. You need to make sure that they know. No, no. You need to. You need to throw in a little spice just to throw off the algorithm. I like this. I like this. Okay. So then I just, I was like, I can't. I love this, like, total just departure from what we were talking about. And then we both pick up exactly where we left off. Where we left off, my friend. Which is at age 33. Failing at everything. No more CEO. And I was just like, I have to do something that I think I'm actually good at. Yeah. And like I was saying, I went to college to hang out.

1:10:51And most of my life, I've been extremely good at that. It's the best thing. It's the thing that I'm best at. It's the thing that I'm most comfortable with. I didn't play sports. I hung out. I didn't have any college clubs. I hung out. Everything in my life has been geared around hanging out. I like this. So I was like, what kind of job is a hangout job? And I was like, comedians seem to be hanging out all the time. They're always hanging out. Like their job is to hang out. So I was like, maybe I'll do that. And so I went to Upright Citizens Brigade. And I always thought I was funny. I always felt funny.

1:11:26I always knew I could do it. I always played at the top of my intelligence, even in these conversations with my friends. It was always like, how, you know, keep the joke elevated and play at the top of your intelligence. but I did comedy school because I just felt like I wanted to have something on my resume. Okay. And that would provide some legitimacy that I could say like, I am a comedian or I could say that. What I didn't want to do was like be like aspiring or I just started. So like I just enrolled in school. I did all of the improv. I did all of the standup. I did all of the sketch. I did all of the writing.

1:11:59I did more than you're supposed to do probably, but I did all the classes. I spent a ton of money. And at the same time, I was like doing the things like I was doing the training, but I was also like booking shows. I was going to shows. I was performing on shows and just getting a feel for what I really liked. And eventually, like it's, I just, I've always been an internet kid, like from day one. It's, it's, it's been my favorite thing aside from hanging out. So then I was like, let me make some videos. And then from there, it was like figuring out, you know, what was like a repeatable thing. Because I remember I did get some notoriety for making the short film with my friend, New York Nico.

1:12:46We did this film together. It went to Tribeca. That was the first time I felt like, I was like, oh shit, I actually did like right away. It was my first big project. And I was right away in Tribeca, right away with this great director. I was like, oh shit, maybe I am good at this. Like that was, that was the least amount of like, uh, convincing I've had to do. Yeah. And I don't feel like an imposter at all. Like I wrote the movie, I was in the movie, I went to Tribeca, like I didn't fake anything. Like it just worked. And that gave me my first little bit of, um, courage. And then right after that, I did keep the meter running and that thing just exploded.

1:13:23That's not me. It was so cool. And again, it came from this place of like emotional attachment to my father who passed away when I was 20, right when I was in college. Because your dad was a taxi driver, right? Yeah, my dad was a cabbie for like five years, so he wasn't a cabbie forever. But when he first moved to America, he was a cabbie. I didn't even know him as a cabbie. Right. But I found myself seeking out wisdom from whoever was driving me to point A to point B. And I think it's a very common experience that you get in a car ride with a cabbie and they're like almost like a Sherpa or a guru or a monk.

1:14:02They've always got like this thing. And I'm like, man, these guys have the secrets to the universe. Like how? How are they so chill? How are they not having road rage? Sometimes they have road rage. But like, you know, and talk about the like hanging out with an immigrant and talking about politics or anything. they don't stop talking no no there's i've never met a single taxi driver anywhere in the world who has no opinion no i just it just doesn't exist yeah there's not none will be like i don't have an opinion on that exactly no it's no they will give you an opinion yeah about anything yeah how do you feel about putin it does not matter they've got an opinion it's and that's awesome yeah and so i did that show i did the first 20 episodes but it was so expensive to produce so i i need don't understand why because i i've always read this but i've never understood why it was so expensive it seemed like it was it was beautifully shot beautifully made and all of that but what made the show like so expensive to the point that you couldn't do it anymore well have you ever paid for a cabbie's meter when you tell him to take him take me wherever you want no i've never done that yeah well how much was what would it get to oh dude it could easily get to 800 to$1 ,200.

1:15:15I think I had a$1 ,400 day once. Because we're just driving and we're taking our sweet time. And they weren't ripping me off. No, no, no. This is just, that's the price of keeping the meats running. Yeah, because we would literally do these crazy things. One time I went from Manhattan to Queens, ate at this restaurant. Also, that was a big problem is I'd also cover the meal. And I was covering the meal for me and the cabbie plus my crew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Plus over ordering a little bit for the video. Okay. So you make sure you get all the food in it. And make multiple stops. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:15:47And then also tip the restaurant because I'm like, like I show up with cameras. Because you've got a camera and you've got a crew and you've got a whole thing. And yeah, yeah, yeah. So at that point I had experienced zero success, but I was spending like I was HBO. Yeah. I was like, baby, I'm a fucking movie producer. And it like, like now I could probably self-fund it and I'd be fine. And it'd be like a loss and whatever. But it was like$2 ,000 an episode, which is crazy in most parts of the world. And also like not advisable as a person starting their career. Yeah, when you have no money. I'm going to lose$2 ,000 every time I make something with no plan to recoup.

1:16:25Yeah. But it was my favorite thing I've ever done in my life. But you're doing it again, aren't you? Yes. And now it is back 20-minute episodes. So the first iteration was six-minute episodes. Got it. Now it's 20-minute episodes. They're on YouTube. and they're even bigger. They're bigger, they're better, they're crazier. And it's just like, I took the short form show and I went, and I just turned it all the way up. So it's, you know, Russian Turkish bathhouse with Eugene and Boris, who's his friend that he just brought along for some reason. It's bowling with Norman, it's fishing, it's doing stand-up comedy and recording a flute album with Cacandra.

1:17:10It's salsa dancing with Homero. It's literally traveling the world without ever leaving the city. That's beautiful. And that is magical. That's what's magical about New York. And it's also what's magical when you just tell someone, what do you want to do today? And I have zero input. And I learned so many things. Every, you know, it's like, they're like fathers to me. Because they have all this fatherly advice. You know, as a man, you still want advice. Are your parents alive? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you probably call your dad and you're like, what do you think I should do in this situation? No, no, I call my mom, but okay.

1:17:48Because dad's like, bad advice? No, no, no. I think we're so different that the advice that he would give me is almost, it's just like from a random place, if that makes sense. Like my mom knows me so well, and we are so similar in our personalities. Not in the way we act in the world, but we're so similar that when my mom says something, she can say it from the place of knowing me. If I ask my dad for advice, he'll just say a thing from his point of view in the world, and then I can process or not process that. Do you know what I mean? Your dad's like, who is this? No, my dad is very Swiss. Remember, he's Swiss-German.

1:18:23It's Trevor. He's very precise. Trevor who? He's very, very precise. But he'll give me advice. He'll be like, this is the thing, and that's how I see it. but, but I'm like, ah, there's no like, you need a, you need a Belkin caveat. Yeah. Where's, where's like the, where's the, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Where are the edges in this? Yeah. So on, wait on your side. So you were very close with your dad, I'm assuming then. I was like not close to him and I was close to him in the same, in the way that I like to argue. Okay. Like he was an argue friend. Right. Okay. But he was a great guy and I, yeah, I was close with him, but like, it wasn't like a lovey relationship.

1:19:02it was more like can it ever be with like a an arabic dad from that time from that time no yeah because it feels like it feels like there's the there's generational like chasms that we just have in society where even with most i would say with most african kids there's one generation where there's no such thing as being like lovey with your dad no you know i remember once man one of my favorite experiences ever was one of my cousins we were walking out of the house and because it was just like i don't even know what happened and he was just like we're leaving and then he said uh he's like i love you dad and then his dad was like oh good luck it's just like and then in that one moment i think we both we just like yeah what were you doing what were you doing it's it's so there's i came from that you know what i mean so like Middle Eastern, you know, Arabic dads, African dads.

1:19:58There's a generation where it was like, there's no such thing as being like lovey with your dad. Did they provide for you? Yes, exactly. Did you respect them? Did you do the things you were supposed to do? Are you ready to be the man of the house? Then you have a great relationship. I remember I was like 11 years old and I was like, dad, I really want like a PlayStation. And he was like, that's for kids. Huh. I was like, dude, I am a kid. He was like, no, you're not. Yeah, you were living. You were about to be a man. building my lawnmower business. But yeah, it's like, and I like that tough love sometimes because honestly, you know, I'll get in a cab and the guy's like, how are you?

1:20:35And I'm like, honestly, I'm not that good. And he's like, what's wrong? And I'm like, because that's how, also that's the other thing about how cab rides start. You get in, he says, how are you? Most of the time you go, I'm good. And you look at your phone and then it's over. But if you decide to say, honestly, I'm a little bad. My wife is like a little bored with me and she thinks I'm annoying. that cabbie is about to give you a hell of a lot of romantic advice on how to fix your marriage and it's good it's actually good advice but so i look at these guys like fathers like they're like there's a bunch of different i have so many different fathers now and they've kind of and that is like the emotional engine of the show is that i'm meeting a dad but it's not a setup it's not like no no i know what you mean yeah but you know you might see an internet show that's like I don't have a dad so I'm gonna find one in a cabbie for me it's just like the feeling of like that a Bourdain would just have when he goes into a city of like I'm curious and I want some knowledge and so that's what I do and I just like let whatever happens happens and yeah it's my favorite thing in the world and I'm so glad to be doing it again and I'm so glad that you know that I hope people like it don't press anything we've got more what now after this you fell in love at first crunch and now the crispy chicken crunch wrap slider is back at taco bell but with a twist it's crispy all-white meat chicken nuggets inside a slider-sized crunch wrap but now you can enjoy them with the kick of hidden valley diablo ranch or try the tortilla chip-coated nuggets on their own they're waiting for you the crispy chicken crunch wrap slider a brand new classic is back only at taco bell feeling short on smiles does your frown need to be turned upside down.

1:22:20We got the perfect dose of comedy, 30 minutes of Scrubs. Zach Braff, Donald Faison, Sarah Chalk, and the rest of the gang at Sacred Heart are back for a brand new season. We play medical doctors who are besties. It's just like in real life. And we'll definitely be up in each other's cases. Scrubs premieres Wednesday on ABC. And streamed the next day on Hulu. Side effects may include laughing, cheering, and lots of high fives. Hello, Superman. Hey, Chicagoland, the Wayfair store is in your neighborhood. at Edens Plaza and Wilmette. Finally, you can feel the fabric, sit on the sectionals, and even open the refrigerators.

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1:23:22I think one of my favorite things about the show, and I'm sure people will like it, is it's crazy to say this, but it reminded me to see people not only as you meet them, but like assuming that they are as you are. And what I mean by that is I definitely know that I've been guilty in my life of seeing some people in the way that I just see them when I meet them. So like the taxi driver, they'll just be like a taxi driver. Sometimes we'll connect because the guy's from an African country somewhere. Now we're talking about like Sadio Mane. Oh yeah, remember that World Cup? And remember this thing in Africa Cup?

1:23:58That's different. And now we sort of, but it's when you would meet a stranger, you confine them to the reality that you know them in, but you never think to yourself that they're bowling or recording albums or you just go like, they're a taxi driver. And you're like yeah but what do they do for fun Who do they love What makes them laugh And I don't know man I think Especially when we live in a world Where we're all being flattened Doesn't matter who we are We are all being flattened down to one idea of ourselves And one idea of others I do think it's beautiful to have an example Of something that goes like Oh no no no no The person happens to drive a taxi Yes.

1:24:41But this is who they are. Yes. There's a difference. You know what I mean? And it's so, every time I'm just shocked at how, like, they're, you know, even if they're not millennials and some of them are millennials, like, you know how, yeah, you're like, I have a podcast, I have a TV show, I'm a writer, I'm a this. And then they're also like that. Yeah, they're exactly like that. But, you know, I don't think we think in general of like blue collar workers or people as like having multiple side hustles or like they're literally trying to get by just like we are. Yeah. And they have dreams. Like Cacandra, dude, this guy has written two memoirs that they're pretty fucking good.

1:25:19One of them is his own life story. He grew up in like a mountain village in Nepal with no shoes and had to beg to get his first pen from like a Swiss tourist who gave him it as a gift as a little boy. And now he has a memoir. He has another book of like just stories about his passengers. So he's interviewed 700 of his passengers. That's beautiful. Dude, it's crazy. and he also plays the wooden flute and his dream is to stand up and i'm like man this guy's incredible he's really incredible and i had the best time with him you know i had so much fun and the episode turned out amazing and it's you just forget and then like iris john iris john's incredible iris john has been a cabbie for 40 years he's just retired now he has a one-man show called Off the Meter, which is about his 40 years driving a cab in New York City.

1:26:20That must be fascinating. So funny. So many funny stories. He was also involved in politics because he's Irish. Yeah. So he was involved with the IRA during the period when that was happening. Damn. And he has all these stories about his involvement with the IRA and just an amazing one-man show, Which is why when I heard the story that he has this one-man show, I was like, let's make it a special and release it as part of Keep the Meter Running. That's beautiful, man. And so we produced this one-man play. I was literally about to ask you if you see any future where you're going to help produce some of these ideas that you're bumping into with these people who wouldn't otherwise be able to have them produce.

1:27:04No, I think so. I mean, they've all, like many of them have, yeah, whether, you know, I don't want to do anything unless someone asks me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I'm not like, this is not a charity. Right. And I'm saying that because sometimes they're like, I don't need help. And I'm like, great. But if somebody says, I need help with money, I would help figure out a way with money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen you do GoFundMe's. Yeah, for drivers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then if somebody's like, hey, I want to produce this one-man show, then I'm like, great. Let's film it. And let's film it because it deserves to be documented.

1:27:34Yeah. You know, like, it's this little bite of the American dream. which I feel like I have been able to so far achieve. I feel like I've done it. I was born in Cairo. My parents are both immigrants. And I feel like my dad did not achieve it. My mom didn't. I mean, and maybe they did achieve it through having a successful son. Yeah, I would argue they did. You know, they never achieved theirs, but they did achieve a version of it, which is that I'm able to do what I want to do and support my family and make a name for myself. And so if I can help other people achieve their, just a nugget, you know, just a bite of apple, that is more than enough for me.

1:28:20Like that feels good, you know? And the show's really about like, yeah, it's about how to be a better man. It's about fatherhood. It's about the American dream. And it's about immigrants. It's really just about, it's an American story. And it's awesome. It's a fully American story. I want my nickname to be the Arab Patriot could just be the Patriot but okay there's a lot that sounds like a movie with like John Krasinski shooting people in Saudi Arabia this is true it's crazy how John Krasinski has now been that guy right because he's buff now yeah but still I'm just like it's funny how it's like one minute if you left the earth at like the peak of the office right and then you came back now and you'd be like Jim is shooting people now?

1:29:11That's the guy. It's such a... He might be in a movie called The Patriot. Yeah, maybe he is. Mandela Effect. Could be. Could be. The Arab Patriot. The Arab Patriot. Hmm. I don't really want to be called that.

1:29:27But I guess if I was going to be a patriot, I'd want to be the Arab Patriot. No, I like that. Just because it's a little, it's also like a little divisive to the proper patrons. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm like, I love America. Yes. But I'm an Arab. And then they're like, damn, damn it. He does, doesn't he? He does love America. And he is there, fuck. Like, it doesn't work with their model of like being a proud American. Yes, yeah, yeah. Because they have an idea of what the person is supposed to look like and be like. To be a proud American. Yes. What if I am proud of the version of America that I'm working on?

1:30:04One of the biggest fights I got into, it was like a fun fight, but I was doing shows. I was on the road. This was many years ago. And one of the people in the audience said to me, said something. I made a joke about America. And this one guy was like, shut up. Don't make jokes about America. And I was like, why not? And he said, because you're not American. And I said to him, I said, yeah. I said, in fact, I think I should, I have more right to make this joke because I've chosen America. I was like, you didn't choose it. It's like you, your mom just shut you out. And then you're American. I chose this country.

1:30:39Can you say the same? And he was like, whoa. And I was, I was obviously joking with him, but I was like, but, but it was interesting because he said afterwards and he wasn't an asshole at all. We were just having, we were having a good natured fight. and then the guy said to me after he's like man i never thought of it like that he's like i never thought to myself that these people are like choosing america you know i mean they're choosing to make money in it they're choosing to make something of themselves yeah they're choosing america and he's like i never chose america you know and i even said to him i was like have you what are you choosing it based on have you been to other places you're saying it's the best but have you gone somewhere else to i've been to other places and then i'll be like yeah and i'm choosing it what now you know and the guy was like and we laughed and we had fun because i find that's that's the biggest thing i find going back to the bullying and the internet i find like in real life is people yeah i mean people are a lot more i don't know this is they're more human yeah that but that's also a great example of the kind of because you can it's not even change minds but you can like have someone see a different way.

1:31:51Like he might not even have his mind changed. He might just be like, you've got a good point. And then that point, he thinks about that point for a while longer. And then maybe he sees other points or he sees immigrants in a different way. Like maybe he's still a prick. Maybe he's not. He wasn't even to be honest. That's why I say like he was good-natured heckling. I enjoyed it. It was a good like, he wasn't being an asshole in any way. He was just like, we were going at it and it was fun. That is fun. But I feel like some people - But I don't think it would have been funny if it was on the internet.

1:32:18That's what I mean. Yeah, it probably wouldn't because you can't read the tone. And there's other people. So I find when you share a physical space with other human beings, you are less likely to think of them as other because you're sharing the same space already. We've both chosen to be in this comedy club. We've both chosen to engage in this moment. We've both chosen. We've both chosen. Do you get what I'm saying? And then inadvertently, you become more the same than you would have been otherwise. Which is why being around people is important. That's, I think, one of the things I love most about your work is it, I don't know how to articulate this properly, but it's like, there are some things on the internet that do not feel like they're about people, even though they involve people.

1:33:04and then your show like okay so let's say like subway takes i'm i'm pretty certain i'm not the only person who feels this it makes me want to speak to people on the subway because i feel like they might have an opinion or an idea on the world right the same thing would keep the meter running it made me want to talk to taxi drivers because i was like i wonder what this person thinks i wonder what that person but but but it it connects you to a side of humanity that i think a lot of the time the internet doesn't a lot of the time the internet i feel treats people as objects you can do a thing to a person you can play a prank on them you can you know make them angry you can scare them you but they themselves are just you know a device that gets you to your end goal they aren't part of it right does that make sense and your work for the most part feels yeah yeah, they're props.

1:33:55But with you, I go, your work wouldn't survive without like the people in a good way. For sure. Yeah. I mean, it's really like, it's about having fun, honestly, in the real world. Like obviously it's on video, but I am having fun. That's good, man. That's the best way. It's really amazing. And I am so like grateful and fortunate and happy and excited that I get to have fun. It's literally what I set out to do, like hang out. And now I'm hanging out full time for a living. And it just couldn't have gone any better. And I'm really lucky that people love the shows. Like I said, it was never about going viral.

1:34:36It was about, let me try to do what I think is cool and what I think is fun and what I think will work. And hopefully people like it. But I remember before, so Keep the Meter Running, went on hiatus. And then I was like, okay, I need to find an idea while this is on pause to do because I was like I had this ambition of making a TV show and you know pitching and blah blah blah and like obviously Hollywood is not chill at the moment so so you know it was like went on hiatus and while I was on hiatus Hollywood is not chill I mean I had a baby my whole life changed and then eventually Hollywood is not chill at the moment it's really not it's really not that's why we're here oh man and uh you know what's ironic though is is the machine is going to come for you because this is what i find happens all the time is people people are rejected by the machine then there are some who beg the machine to welcome them in then there are others like yourself who go i'm just going to build my own machine i'm just going to do my own thing and then because of the success of that the machine goes ah kareem yes we've always believed in you i know i've always been a big fan of your work kareem please we'd love to produce this we'd love it we love it keep the meter running let's do it together but instead of taxi drivers private jets yes yes instead of new york we do it in switzerland yes kareem imagine this yes and now it you know what i mean and then they slowly take your idea and they just like twist it and stretch it and whoop and then by the end of it you're like wait this is does not keep the meter running let me tell you in the pitches there were like um is there you know could we make it a competition show and i'm like you want them to compete oh you see squid games you want to do squid games you want blue collar working class people who i think are heroes all of them you want them to compete on television for what fuck off man literally fuck off and it was all these things that i was just like i can't find a home for this i want to keep it pure and i also think you know with the success of subway takes the reason i like i know this project is pure at heart because i could be doing literally anything and i'm choosing four years later to go back to where it all started and do the same thing that i was doing four years ago with no celebrities, no money, still in the cars, like still driving around.

1:37:15Like it's still hard work. I still don't have a place to piss. I still have no studio. They don't have a place to piss either. And it's just like, it's still gritty. Like it's nothing's changed. It is what it was. Four years later. And the version for TV, and I'm, you know, I don't hate Hollywood. I love going to the movie theater still. I see movies. I see blockbusters. I see regular movies. I see indies. I watch TV. I think like the top of our conversation, there is a place for this. Yeah. And there's a place for like, come over, watch a movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. And I wish they would like, learn is really it.

1:37:49You know when you see someone like, like a teenager, like if you had a son and he was a teenager and he was like smoking weed and like skipping school, you'd be like, you're doing bad things. You're hurting yourself. That's what I feel like about Hollywood is I feel like it's smoking weed. It's getting drunk. It's not doing what it's supposed to do. And I just want it to succeed, but they're not succeeding. And that's okay. They can, they will eventually somebody maybe will realize something or the industry will change or there will be new industries like there are every day you know like yeah i think there are three things that i spend a lot of time trying to understand the failings of hollywood and there are three things that that always stick out to me one is what what my manager said to me very very long ago when i was when i was even like trying to go into Hollywood.

1:38:38I was like, this is not my thing. I like stand-up comedy. I still love stand-up comedy more than anything. And one day I was like, why does it feel like everyone's making the same show or everyone's trying to do the same thing? And he said, you have to understand this about Hollywood. In Hollywood, everyone's in a mad dash to be second. That's so good. And so he said, you will spend all your time trying to convince people in Hollywood that something's a good idea. They won't see it. They won't accept it. But let it become big somewhere. You will see everyone now try to do it. So you look at a show like The Office, right?

1:39:12Before The Office, mockumentaries aren't really a thing in that way. They aren't like network television. Yeah, they're like niche. Yeah, they are niche. The Office comes in, blows, and then you literally now could not stop counting the shows that are mockumentary. Parks and Rec, Modern Family, you name it. Everyone's like, do they look at the camera with a quirky expression? Well, we'll take it. everyone starts doing it yeah right you go oh we'll make an old show with me no no no game of thrones the period after game of thrones where people were making old shows where you know it's like i my brother would never stand for this and will die for valhalla everyone's making it so that was the first thing that the race to be second is crazy yeah everyone is in a mad dash to be second in hollywood so one marvel movie will mean everyone's now going to make them everyone's going to make a superhero something the second thing was told to me by somebody who works inside like the studios and stuff and he said do not take for granted how everyone in this business is just trying to not get fired so they don't want to make the wrong choice they don't want to do the wrong thing they do whatever they think their boss thinks is right they don't want to shake anything up because all they don't want to do is get fired.

1:40:34They're not trying to make the most beautiful thing, even if they want to, by the way, I'm not even like slamming them, but they are so afraid of losing the job that they just don't, they don't move. That was the second thing. And then the third one I think is more institutional. I think you can draw a direct line, like let's say just in the movie business, you can draw a direct line between the monopolization of movie theaters and studios with the decreasing quality of films that we get right one of my favorite stories is the story of back to the future back to the future is one of the most successful movies ever made like box office wise but that movie didn't start as number one didn't didn't start as number two didn't you know what i mean if you watch its its earnings at the box office it does the opposite of every movie today it starts here and then it slowly creeps up creeps up and it just keeps going up.

1:41:28And then when I was reading why, one of the big things was movie houses, like, you know, cineplexes were owned independently. And a lot of the people who owned them just loved movies. And they were like, what is this story? That looks interesting. We'll take it. And they just put it in. It was like a random shot in the dark. It wasn't part of a franchise. It wasn't part of a, and then word of mouth grew it and they had space in the cinema and they let it grow and then it becomes one. Now it's an obvious story. But look, just go to a cinema, look at it. When was the last time you saw them taking a chance in that way?

1:42:06They don't. But it's because it's all like part of the AMC chain and part of the regal chain and part of, you know what I mean? So I think when you put those three things together, you see why Hollywood isn't exactly in a place to make, it's the antitheses of art. Right. Totally. And it's just, I'm like an optimist. You know what I mean? I go into life being like, maybe that original vision won't come back and maybe what's here now won't stay, but something will replace it. and it might be smaller, it might be different. I don't know what it's going to be, but I see it happening now with so many people being like, well, I'm going to do it myself.

1:42:47I'm going to put it on YouTube. I'm just going to grow my, like exactly what you're saying. I'm going to build my own thing. And if Hollywood does come a knock in and says like, hey, we love this idea. What else do you got? Do you have a competition show? I might go, yeah, I do have a competition show. It's not this one because it's not a competition show, but I might have one. Like it doesn't, like I'm like platform agnostic. You know what I mean? I think of it all as different audiences, different formats, different, there's different reasons. Like I made a micro budget indie feature film that I wrote, produced and starred in and it's now streaming on MUBI.

1:43:25Why? Because I just felt like I wanted to, like I felt like that wasn't a thing that I wanted to do. Oh, I like that. Yeah, it's a nice little film. It's like a walk and talk. It was super low budget. And I just was like, I want to make a movie. I want to like, I've never done that before. Like, let's make a movie. and so I figured out how to make a movie and it was awesome and I would love to make another movie but I don't want to write it because it's so much work writing is you just want to hang dude that is so true like writing is not hanging out no it's not it's the opposite of hanging out I had a co-writer Mary Neely which made the whole thing a lot easier yeah because you know how we wrote the movie she'd come over we'd hang out for a day we'd write 10 pages and then we'd see each other again in like three weeks.

1:44:08Another 10 pages? Yeah, but it was hanging out. I forced it into becoming hanging out. But me writing alone, dude, I can barely... It's a terrible experience. I mean, I don't... That's like you're a stand-up. I don't know how... No, it's a terrible experience. I've never done that. But you write stand-up jokes. I write on stage. Oh. Yeah, I've almost never written anything. I've never written anything down. Wow. I write on stage. You're a freestyler. No, no, no, no. It's more that I have ideas in my head. And then when I get to the stage, I go, all right, let's now, that's what the comedy club is for, is let's now see which ingredients work better or don't work.

1:44:50This word did not work. That sentence did not work. That idea worked. Let's move the sentence around. Let's move the words around. Let's do it again. Let's do it again. Let's do it again. That's how I do it. But I don't, it's not like a fancy thing. It's because my writing is too formal so once i start writing don't laugh at me cream i've even tried i've even tried like journaling you know when people go you should journal i get stuck in like the grammar so like my journal will start will be like it'll be like journal entry i'll put like the date and then i'll go like so another day another thought here we are and then i'm like what are you doing i'm like you never you don't think like this but when i when i start writing my brain goes to like well this is how it should be and there's a structure and so i can't i can't write anything and be chill when i was at the daily show i developed a system where i would just like talk the things and then we'd put that down because as soon as i got to like a keyboard nah man it was like you were working no no no you were sending a un course no no no no no you know have you have you ever read the artist's way the artist's way yeah it's this pretty good book and it has like a series of workshops in it.

1:46:01And one of the things that might be helpful for you is that they're like, write these pages every morning, three pages of whatever you want. It doesn't have to be jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't have to be a diary. It doesn't have to be anything. You can just write the same word. Yes. And then throw it away. And it is supposed to help you get away from, I don't know if everyone has that problem, but it's supposed to get you away from the idea that writing is meant to be read. Yeah, I don't think I have that issue. I don't think of people having to read it. It's like I've been trained so much in a particular thing.

1:46:36When I tell you that - I think you can break the habit, man. Okay. But your habit has to surpass how many years you did the thing for. I wrote thousands and thousands of letters as a child. This was part of my part-time jobbing. there are sentences and there are structures that are in my brain when i see it written down i can't i can't this is so funny to me it's like it's like i was i was doing gymnastics from the age of 11 and now you're saying like let me teach you how to just randomly fall i can't fall i balance this is what i do oh well maybe there's no hope i'll try i'll try i'll try don't try No, I'll try.

1:47:21I'll try for the sake of trying. Only do it if you want to. No, no, I'll try. Yeah, okay. Because I want to see what'll happen. I just want you to jot something down. I want you to read all of Jeffrey Epstein's emails. And be like, I can do this. I can do this. It's really, it frees you. Oh, man. It frees you. Yes, maybe if he focused on the grammar, he would have been a better man. Maybe. Maybe that's the first step. Maybe. If you know where the period should be, maybe you would stop. Maybe that's what it is. Cleanliness is next to godliness. There it is, my friend. Including in the emails. There it is, my friend.

1:47:55I'm just thankful that you're not an all lowercase guy. No, I'm not. You know any all lowercase guys? I do. Yeah, I do. How old are they? 20. Okay. I have a friend who's like 43. No. And has a kid. No. And he's all lowercase. And I, this might be the first time that he knows about this, but brother, you gotta. Yeah, that's nuts. You're an adult man. it's time to use proper caps lock at the very least. No, no, no. At the beginning of a sentence, at least. Yeah, you don't have to use periods or - No, no, no. But just start it off as if you knew the sentence was beginning. Because there's a real tone when it's all lowercase.

1:48:34There really is. It's a real like, I'm a little bitch. It's just like at an age, it's wrong. It's really - Yeah, if you're young, it's like, I do not care for the constraints that society has created for me. Yes. But when you're old, you're just like, what happened? Did you forget? Did you never know? Yeah. No, no, I think you did too. You're not punk. You should go into the group chat and you should say this. He has thin skin. He has really thin skin. I'm just kidding. You don't have thin skin. I don't want to offend you. And I have told him. I have told him. I just think at a certain point. Oh, man.

1:49:12You know what? I switched from all lowercase to regular caps lock and look at me. 33. Here you are now. Same. Finally successful. Exactly. And I think it might have had something to do with it. Changed everything. It changed everything. Yeah, now your daughter would be proud. Dress for the job you want. Yeah. How is that going, by the way? How's fatherhood treating you? It's honestly the most amazing thing I've ever done in my life. Don't say that because everyone says that. I'm not. That's boring. At first, I didn't say that. I would be on podcasts and people would be like, you have a kid. And I'd be like, yeah, it's all right.

1:49:39Literally. Oh, okay, great. I would say that. Okay. You know, up until about a year. When I really genuinely was honest, I was like, it's good. Wait wait wait So what changed? I think with men Or maybe just my experience You know the mom and the baby Have a relationship Oh yeah yeah okay no this is real For nine months Not paying rent but it's living in her stomach And they talk and they have a feeling And they feel each other's heartbeat They feel each other's bodies And then it comes out and they are bonded And then it looks at me and I go Kind of weird looking Why does the head look like that?

1:50:18Is the head not perfect? Like, I'm just like, I want a perfect head. And it's just crying. It doesn't care about me because I don't provide milk. I don't provide anything. I don't even provide barely any warmth. Big guy, but you know, why would she want to hug me when she could hug her mom? So all of these things make it feel like, like almost like there's a stranger in the house. Okay. And of course I loved her, right? Like I loved her. I felt deep love for her. but when she started treating me like I was a human you know what I mean it's almost like when we started seeing the human in each other right that's when it became like it is a cliche because it's true it became something that is like so I don't know it's weird man it's really weird it's shocking how much I love her I've never loved anyone more than her that's beautiful in my life yeah it's the best thing I've ever done that's really really beautiful it's really unbelievable and honestly like i'm grateful it's a girl because it's it's just i don't know dude being a girl dad's cool well you don't know what the alternative is well i'm happy for you i can imagine no no no but i'm happy i'm not i'm not saying i'm not happy but i'm saying you yeah but the relation i don't know that i think you you would be there's another universe where you're sitting opposite me being like oh and i'm glad it's a boy because man being a boy you're just playing devil's advocate but everyone knows a girl dad is a special thing ask kobe no i'm not i'm not that's a crazy one to say ask but i'll ask bear matter bio that's who i will ask google about kobe no no no i think i think um i hear what you're saying but i think all of them are special because they just you know what i mean so i think i think there's a world but i you know it's funny i want to talk to an like an expert about this because i i know we had arthur c brooks on the podcast and he talked about small things that we take for granted in relationships.

1:52:11One of them being, for instance, that women, I think, receive more oxytocin from eye contact than men do. And then it made me wonder, like, with babies, maybe there's something there where when women are, like, looking at a baby, they're actually getting something that maybe men aren't in the same way. And maybe we're not designed to get it because of, like, back in the day, we're supposed to be, like, running out and going and fighting and something. So, like, you can't have that feeling. I don't know. Or you look someone in the eyes, it means you want to fight. Oh, yeah, this is true. It's like a predator.

1:52:39Now you're like, gotta fight my baby. No, but when I look, like, it's also just weird to, like, look. When I look at her in the eyes, and I do now, Sarah, I'm like, so weird. Because, like, I can see myself. It's really weird to, like, look at. It's a weird, it's just a weird thing. You're looking at a version of you. Yeah, it's a weird thing that you can't experience unless it happens. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never actually even really wanted kids. I was always like, if it happens, it happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was my whole vibe. and then I had one and I was like this is the coolest thing that's ever happened to me but I was never like a baby crazy guy and I never was like I need to be a dad I have friends that are like want to be a dad so bad and I was like I could take her to leave it but now that I've had one I do want more and I would love in an ideal world to have a bunch but I think it's because it's not an ideal world it's impossible to have a bunch for me but if how many does your partner want?

1:53:34I think we're both going to go for like she's cool with one more and I'm cool with one more. Do you have any? It's crazy that, no, I don't, but this is crazy that it was like, there was a time when it was just like six, eight. I would love that. You would? I would love it. What would you love about it? How many siblings are you in the, are you? I have a brother and sister. Okay, so you're one of three. Yeah. Oldest, youngest, middle? I'm oldest. Okay. How are you? I'm oldest of three boys. Okay, that's fine. And we're like huge gap, 10 years, 10 years. Wow. Yeah. So it's like complete generational.

1:54:04Yeah. Yeah. So your parents were like, we'll get around to it. So I'm from my dad and my mom, and then the two of them have a different dad. Yeah. But what's crazy is when you have such a big gap, it's almost like you're all single kids. You just have your own, you know, there was never like a toy issue. There was never a, you're all doing your own thing. You're not even at the same schools at the same time. You're not in high school at the same time. You're not in, you know what I mean? Yeah. And the difference between 20 and 10, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's completely. Okay. My brother and sister, we're all like very close in age.

1:54:37And I don't know. I don't even look at it from like, I want them to have siblings. I look at it as like, I want a bunch of little kids hugging my legs. And then I also. You should just go be a mall center. That's a much cheaper way to achieve your dream. But then the fast forward part when I'm like 70. Yeah. And I look at a table of my kids. I'm imagining that that feels as good as when I see my baby. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Okay. I feel like seeing the adults. You're like, damn, I did this. like they're all happy and like hopefully you know like do you ever wonder what happens to the people where like all their kids hate them yeah or if your kids are uncool and you hate them i don't think your kids i think if your kids are uncool this is a complete reflection on you you don't think there's parents out there that are like my kid's a loser and i don't like that kid yeah but i think it's on you i that's my take it's completely on you like 100 on you because here's the thing i you cannot make the human being but you have almost complete control as to what that human being interacts with.

1:55:37So what movies are they first watching as a child? What books are they reading? What games are they playing? Where are they going? What clothes are they wearing? Like this is all you putting in raw materials. The world is going to have an impact. But I don't know. If there's any parent who's like, my kid's a loser. I'm like, yeah, you made a loser. I'm not saying they're not a loser. I'm saying you made a loser. That's happening. Yeah, but I'm saying you made a loser. Right. You made a loser. You made a loser. It's on the parents. It's on the parents. You made a loser, man. I'm sorry. Do you want a kid?

1:56:06I'm like you I'm agnostic You're like if it happens Yeah if it happens It happens If it doesn't It doesn't And I'm just like You know Because sometimes I meet kids And I'm like These things are beautiful And wonderful And then sometimes I meet them And I'm like This is like The spawn of Satan I don't wish for this In my life I was always super ambivalent I was always like Meh Yeah You know what I mean I was like Whatever I don't care Like people would be like Look at my baby I'd be like cool Very cool Babies are boring To be honest with you They are I never understand Why people look at my baby Yeah The worst is when they show you pictures of a baby and you're like, every baby looks a version of the same.

1:56:37They're like, no, it's cute. My one is extra cute. It's like, it's not. It's really not. Yeah. It's like when you get a dog, then you start noticing other people with dogs. So now that I have a baby, I'm like. Now you see. I see other. You now have baby eyes. Dude, it's so weird. I'll be like in the airport and I'll be like, oh, look at that cute little kid, which is so weird. You know what I mean? I'll like notice little kids and like be like, oh, that one's so cute. Yeah. And when Karina, my wife, was pregnant, like I started noticing - Was Karim and Karina? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Damn. Pretty nice.

1:57:09Okay. But then I started noticing pregnant people. It's nice until people are like trying to call you in a house or in a space or like, how many times do people shout one and then you both respond? Karina! Karin! No, not all of that. It's not ideal. But I had a funny prank about naming the kid Karima. That would be good. That's a good prank. You see, now that's good. I know. That's confusing. That's fantastic. Kareem, Kareema, and Kareem. No, you see, now that's worth having a kid for. And if it's, ideally, I would time it to the next leap year. So it could also have a funny birthday. Jesus. So Kareema born on leap year.

1:57:51And it's like, what's your name? My name's Kareema. When's your birthday? Oh, it only happens once every four years. 29th of February. So sad. like that's a sad life that's actually the greatest life by the way leap year baby anything weird baby birthmark cool birthmark no like they just say you know your name your anything it just creates some resistance in life that will add a little spice to your existence it won't be easy necessarily but it'll be like what's your name Karima I'm sorry already you've engaged somebody what's your name John John, we move on with our lives. There's no pause. There's no nothing.

1:58:31What's your date of birth? 29th of February. 29th of February? Right. Wait, you're a leap year, baby? They've made friends. Right. Spice of life. Spice of life. Is to have parents that are evil. Yeah. You've got to have parents who are willing to just, do you know what I mean? Push the limit a little bit. Yeah, just give you a little. Give you a little edge. Okay, but you didn't go with the prank name. No. I went with a beautiful name that I really love. Okay. But I'm already thinking of the news for the next one. All right. good intention but you know whatever yeah are you gonna come on the show which show my show yeah which one subway takes oh unless you wanna come on cab ride keep the meter running I can also take you on a cab ride I would actually love to go on a cab ride I'm sure I could find one that's like one of my favorite favorite favorite I was actually when I was thinking of your show I was going I hope you do a London version London cabbies might be my favorite cabbies in the whole world they're unbelievable have you seen what they have to do to become cabbies in London it's called the knowledge yeah yeah and it is truly the knowledge yeah It's human AI contained in a tiny little beautiful black box that has a turning circle that no vehicle should possess.

1:59:32That's incredible. These guys know everything. Every time I'm in London in a taxi, I will ask them for a recommendation for food, for a show, and they'll just go off. They know everything. They just know everything. It's also crazy because you go, it's on the corner of... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no. It's on the corner of Middle Ditch and High Street. Is that next to the fish and chips shop? And then you're like, yeah. All right, then. And then they're off. It's so magical. Yeah, they have to memorize every street. Yes, every single street. Isn't that crazy? But what I love is that because of that, I feel like they also have this ability to recall.

2:00:11That's what I mean. They'll tell me about passengers who really loved a thing. And so they go, they're like a real human aggregator of information. And they'll say to you, they'll be like, well, a lot of people have been talking. And they were talking through the glass backwards at you through the speaker. So it was like this shout thing. I love the speaker. A lot of people have been saying it's a really great experience. You've got to go there. A lot of people are loving it. You've got to get out there. Well, I've never been, but a lot of my passengers have been saying it's great. And every time I pick up someone, they say that's great.

2:00:40And you're like, oh, shit. Okay. Yeah. They're amazing. They are truly, truly amazing. No, they're incredible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I love that. So I would do it. Would I come on subway takes? I would, but I'm... Okay, let me ask you this. how would you, and actually how do you insulate people from sort of coming on to try and have a take? Like, what do you mean? I can only assume some people come on Subway Takes thinking like, yeah, I'm going to say this because it'll get a response. And then you probably have to step in and be like, uh-uh, that's not what we're doing here. How do you keep it authentic, for lack of a better word?

2:01:21I have a little bit of a process. So my producer, Rami, he's a young man, young Rami. That's his nickname. I give everyone a trumpeting name now, but usually nice. So like young Rami. Young Rami. And he is young. He's so young. So young. You know, doesn't look that young when you meet him, but he's a young man. Young man. Young Rami. Wow. He's going to like that. He's going to like this clip. He's going to like this clip because he is young. He's a young standout. So he synthesizes the takes. He receives them. Okay. He's the first to receive them. Got it. He checks for duplicates. Oh, so no one has a take that another person has I like this already He checks for duplicates He also like gets clarity if somebody's like Okay He's like, what does that mean?

2:02:10Okay And if it means nothing, he's like getting you on And if it means something, he's like, okay, that is interesting So he kind of vets the takes and has this little process of elimination Yeah Because some people come on and they're overprepared That's what I mean Which is awful Yeah, that's what I hate Okay, this is what I mean Yeah, I don't like when someone's, because if they send, if it's like Rami's getting the take and it's like this long. Okay. I'm like over prepared. Okay, got it. You're coming on to do a bit. Every once in a while, we'll like plan a bit or something. Somebody will be like, I have this idea.

2:02:42I want to do this. Okay, got it. And then I'll be like, okay, that's a funny idea. It's never been done before. Let's do it. So that's really it. It's just like a little process of that. And then when we meet in real life, I'm like, so what is it? And you're like, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay, great. And then we just do it. Oh, okay. I'll join you but if you have a bit no I don't I don't want to do a bit you don't no no I definitely don't want to do a bit I'm so bit it out you're done I'm bit it out you're tired from bits yeah I'm just like there's nothing to be bidding about no it's not it's not even that it's just I I'm I'm I'm in a stage of of my life where I am in the pursuit of of the least bitty things possible do you know what I mean but still funny yeah yeah yeah but you just don't like bits but not like bits I don't want to Yeah I'm just liking the I'm in a bit phase Ah I like this I love bits No no bits I mean They are great when you're in the mood for them That's a great bit Yeah but when you're not When you're bitless Yeah you're just not feeling the bit I think I'm just bit it out I mean you know when you do like late night For so many years Every day of the week is a bit It's like what's the bit What bit are we doing here What's a bit Do we have a bit for this guest Do we have a bit for that Do we have a bit for that thing You gotta do a bit for this Oh we gotta Needs to be a bit Needs to be a bit This is just like too many bits that's my dream meeting yeah what you just described no I would love to sit in a meeting and say that hey man you welcome but after many many many many years of doing it every single day of the week you go like I have you ever talked to people who like work at like a KFC yes yeah have you asked them whether they like want to eat KFC right yeah you just go like that's so sad yeah it's like it's not about the chicken itself it's just yo man I've I'm done that's so funny I'm done for now right yes so for now in my life so when you see a great bit do you still say do you still say that's a great bit no I love it I mean because funny is funny good is good I don't have that but I do think I've been a little desensitized so I might do that unfortunately I'll be like that was a good bit well executed bit well I'm not going to do a bit if you're not going to do a bit no no no no I'm just saying I'll just say that is a good when I see a bit I'll just go that is a good bit You deliver it in a neutral town.

2:04:56I find I no longer have the thing that comes out of me spontaneously because I'm constantly monitoring for the bits to occur. You say it how you would type it. Yeah, I go, that is a good bit. That is a good bit. That is a fantastic bit. This happens to stand-up comedians all the time. If you look at stand-ups who've been doing stand-up for a very long time, at some point they don't laugh at most things. They go, that's funny. That's a good joke. They'll be like, yo, that was, yo, that was. That's funny. Yeah, I've seen people do that. They go, that's funny. shit yo that's a good joke no laughter yeah so then the laugh actually starts to come from where it wouldn't have come like if you if you watch comedians in the back of a comedy club watching comedians they laugh when the audience isn't laughing like they you know what i mean they're laughing that yeah they're laughing on the one and three yeah audience is laughing you know on the two and four yes and comedians will just like laugh at a random thing and you know when a comedian's watching because they'll laugh at a moment when no one else is laughing you know so yeah i love so i'll come i'll come i'll do it yeah come on i would love to don't do a bit maybe we'll do a bit no maybe you will reignite my love and my passion for bits you're a bit guy you can't say you know i know but i only want to do a bit with someone who wants to do a bit i won't make you do a bit no no you won't make me you could inspire me i couldn't make you do anything you could inspire me to do a bit wouldn't that be an amazing story the comeback of the bit huh trevor noah could be like a documentary at tribeca and he's like i thought bits were over in my life and then i met this guy kareem and let me tell you something so good at voices let me tell you something he got me doing bits again that guy kareem oh he got me back in the bits it could be the beginning this has been great man thank you so much for having thank you very much great bit is the bit over uh this is great that's it yeah okay great no man Thank you for real.

2:06:50Thank you so much. That was so fun. It was too much fun. Crazy that you didn't tell me that we were recording. I mean, we roll. Kind of nice. Because otherwise, you see, that's another thing. It's really nice. I don't want someone to go like, that thing. No, it's really cool to roll into it like that. I've actually never happened to it before. I appreciate it. Yeah. Just roll. And then if someone goes like, oh, I don't include them, we don't include. It's not a trick or anything. I have a lot of fun. I just don't want someone. Right, right. It's a start. Because I've seen people do that. So you go like, are we ready?

2:07:19let's begin and then I watch them change their posture I know what you're talking about and then they go well Trevor oh fuck the minute the camera comes out sometimes people freak out well Trevor it's funny you ask me that What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Day Zero Productions in partnership with Sirius XM the show is executive produced by Trevor Noah Sanaz Yamin and Jess Hackle Rebecca Chain is our producer our development researcher is Marcia Robiu music mixing and mastering by Hannes Brown. Random Other Stuff by Ryan Harduth. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next week for another episode of What Now?

2:08:19Hey, this is Will Arnett, host of Smartless. Smartless is a podcast with myself and Sean Hayes and Jason Bateman, where each week one of us reveals a mystery guest of the other two. We dive deep with guests that you love, like Bill Hader, Selena Gomez, Jennifer Aniston, David Beckham, Kristen Stewart, and tons more. So join us for a genuinely improvised and authentic conversation filled with laughter and newfound knowledge to feed the smartless mind. Listen to Smartless now on the SiriusXM app. Download it today. Adventures don't always go as planned. One minute you're cruising in your RV, the next your tire hits a massive pothole.

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