In short
Recap of the World Cup final (Spain vs Argentina) and debate over tactics, standout players, and what it means for Spain, Argentina, England, France, and future tournaments.
Guests
Trevor Noah (host). No other named guests are identified in the transcript; the “Joe” speaker appears to be a co-host/partner but is not given a full name or background.
Key claims
- Spain won again and deserved it through intense pressing and control; Rodri was “everywhere” even without man-of-the-match recognition.
- Argentina’s defense was a throwback to Italy 2004—“gallant losers”—and Messi’s emotion suggests he’s not done.
- England are a “small footballing country,” overhyped by the Premier League/media, and lack technicians under pressure.
- France’s issues are tactical/effort-related vs Spain; England and France need to build around technical players.
Notable examples
- Rodri interceptions; Rodri “Busquets vibes.”
- Spain’s extra-time win parallels Iniesta 2010; Maligned Spain striker scores the decisive goal.
- Argentina fans singing/chanting through the trophy moment; Messi crying.
- Enzo Fernandez ear-cup celebration; red card and card controversy.
- Argentina defending like Italy 2004 vs Netherlands; Netherlands missed two penalties.
- England third-place match vs France: Saka hat-trick and “meaningless” pace.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOCelebrating the Champions: Spain's Victory
0:19 to 1:16
Trevor discusses Spain's win at the World Cup final and its significance.
“104 matches, 48 teams, 30-something, 32 maybe knockout games.”
Rodri's Impact and Performance
1:16 to 2:44
Trevor highlights Rodri's performance during the final and his influence on the game.
“he scored the goal that set them on a path on a path let's talk about it I mean first and foremost the World Cup the final like everybody who was watching the game in the stadium on TV said the same thing.”
Player Highlights: Baby Goat and Pedri
2:44 to 4:12
Discussion on young talents like Baby Goat and Pedri's performance in the tournament.
“The World Cup sometimes, not winning the World Cup, can become like some kind of albatross around your neck.”
The Argentine Spirit: Fans and Messi
4:12 to 6:45
Trevor reflects on the passionate Argentine fans and Messi’s emotional moment.
“Man, it was so wild as well, like being there in the stadium.”
Defensive Strength and Game Dynamics
6:45 to 9:15
Trevor discusses the defensive strategies and dynamics of the final match.
“To see, you know, because normally in the world, normally in any story, drama or otherwise, you want to see that redemption arc.”
Comparing Teams: Spain vs. France
9:15 to 14:00
Analysis of the differences between Spain and France's playing styles and strategies.
“Now you've left us essentially with nine men.”
Spain's World Cup Victory
14:00 to 17:53
Discussing Spain's performance and the impact of managers on the team's success.
“A Barcelona striker, much maligned by Barcelona fans like me, and Spain in general scores the only goal in extra time to give Spain that extra star on their jersey.”
Spain's World Cup Victory
17:56 to 19:54
Discussing Spain's performance and the impact of managers on the team's success.
“is usually the last place you'd want to hang out.”
Analyzing England's Footballing Identity
19:54 to 28:01
Exploring England's footballing history, current performance, and the perception of English players.
“And there's only one way they're going to fix it.”
Analyzing England vs. Spain Techniques
28:01 to 29:23
Discussion on the technical differences between England and Spain's football styles.
“When England was under pressure against Argentina, remember what I kept telling you?”
Show all 19 chapters
The Modern Footballing Culture of England
29:24 to 30:46
Exploration of England's historical footballing successes and cultural challenges.
“They didn't, man, that's all I'm saying I was looking for from the English team.”
Controversies Around French Football
30:47 to 33:15
Discussion on Adrien Rabiot's comments and the French team's dynamics.
“I'm saying, for me, when I look at Elliot Anderson and Declan Rice, they are two butt cheeks of the same ass.”
France's Strategy Against Spain
33:16 to 35:30
Analysis of what France should change tactically to compete against Spain.
“So he said that he had never seen something so disgusting.”
Comparative Play Styles: France vs. Other Teams
35:31 to 38:14
Comparison of France's playing style with that of other teams and its implications.
“I also think the mistake they made, though, is...”
Future of International Football Coaches
38:15 to 42:00
Speculation on upcoming coaching changes in international football.
“Anytime they don't meet Spain, they'll walk it.”
World Cup Player and Team Highlights
42:00 to 44:42
Discussion of standout players and teams from the World Cup.
“For me, like you said, if Cape Verde didn't meet Argentina, I think we're telling a very different story about them.”
FIFA's Gianni Infantino and Future Concerns
44:42 to 46:14
A critical look at FIFA's president and his influence on the sport.
“FIFA doesn't allow political interference into the running of the national federations.”
Friendship and Growth in Broadcasting
46:14 to 49:24
Personal reflections on friendship and learning through broadcasting.
“People who've got the World Cup in a chokehold.”
Friendship and Growth in Broadcasting
49:44 to 53:01
Personal reflections on friendship and learning through broadcasting.
“More adults suddenly deciding that they're soccer experts because they watched one match and learned what offsides is.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00This episode is brought to you by Febreze, and we're coming to you from the official Febreze-sponsored boot room, which, if you know anything about soccer, is usually the last place you want to hang out.
0:15This is What Now with Trevor Noah. 104 matches, 48 teams, 30-something, 32 maybe knockout games. Six weeks. a feast of football. How do you feel right now? Are you full? Or do you wish this was your new life? Man, I could always go for seconds when it comes to football. I could always go for seconds. This was insane, man. But my God, are you not entertained? Yeah, are you not entertained? For sure. First and foremost, Spain are the world champions again. Spain are the world champions. We're the champions. These are the champions. And I don't want to say it's because of me, but I will say I will say every time I've been at a final Spain has won it also they did win their first big major championship South Africa no no their first major championship 2008 that jersey the man you're wearing right now oh this one oh yeah yeah I'm talking about the World Cup only he scored he scored the goal that set them on a path on a path let's talk about it I mean first and foremost the World Cup the final like everybody who was watching the game in the stadium on TV said the same thing.
1:30Spain was stifling Argentina. Watching it in real time was even more impressive, you know, because we were lucky enough to be at the game. Seeing how the Spanish team completely pressed every single player on the opposing team, seeing how they attacked together, seeing how Rodri... Can I tell you, Rodri, I don't think has won a single man of the match at this tournament. No. And I think it's because the man of the match was voted for by fans. And I think the fans, not that they didn't know the game, I think because when you're watching the game on TV, you miss out on so much of what's not happening on screen.
2:08When you're watching the game live, it's easy to say Rodri's man of the match. He was a colossus. He was a colossus today. He was everywhere. If you just kept your eye on him, you could see the whole game. You didn't have to watch the whole game to see him. He gave us Sergio Busquets vibes. He was everywhere. But almost like a stronger, bigger, taller. He's quite a unit. But I was like just watching him, how casual he was. We talked about this during the season. You said it's like a grandpa in his slippers. He was like a grandpa playing in his slippers in his backyard. It wasn't a World Cup final for him.
2:39He was immense. The interceptions he made, fully deserved. Fully deserved. Play of the tournament. Fully deserved in my opinion. Who are you happy for? Baby Goat or the Goat? I'm happy for Baby Goat. Because winning it at 19. The World Cup sometimes, not winning the World Cup, can become like some kind of albatross around your neck. You're not wrong. We saw it with Ronaldo. Yeah, you're not wrong. If you win it now, you get it out of the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you can play your international career. You're already a hero. Yeah. So I was really happy for him. Of course, All Lamin has to do is win a Champions League now, which is way easier, I would argue.
3:11Yeah, for the club. Than winning, because you have a chance every year. He already won the European Championship and was instrumental in that. Part of me wanted, because there were so many Barcelona boys in that team, in that Spanish team, I wanted Pedri to win. I wanted the minimal of defenders. Pao Kubasi. But do you think Pedri had a good World Cup? He had a good World Cup. He didn't have the World Cup he expected. Pedri expects to always be a starter. But he was unseated by Fabian Luiz. I thought Fabian Luiz, and I can get why he took over. Fabian Luiz is a lot taller. He's a lot bigger. And I think Luiz de la Fuente.
3:46He's also a lot more progressive in this tournament at least. But he was very imprecise. That's the thing. He was progressive, but he was very, very imprecise. And I think when Pedri came on, you saw how Spain now took an even bigger stronghold on the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's all about control. But Fabian Luiz gives you something that Pedri doesn't give you, which is physicality in the middle. So I get why he wanted him there. But Paco Basi winning young player of the tournament, he was a colossus in defense. He was incredible in defense. Man, it was so wild as well, like being there in the stadium.
4:16Because like the Argentine fans… They don't know when they're beaten. Yo. They don't know when they're beating. The whole stadium was Argentina. Like, I'm talking from the first minutes. It felt like you were watching the game at La Bombonela. Yo, until the handing of the trophy, they were still singing. They were still chanting. Even during the hanging. Yeah. It's like, you couldn't tell if they'd won or lost. I'll say this. And watching them with Messi standing in front of them. Did it feel like a farewell to you? Do you think Messi's gone? No, I don't think he is. I think they steal a last dance in him.
4:50I watched him. So the funny thing about that image is I never thought, in a hundred years, I never thought Messi would reach that kind of status with these Argentine fans. They were burning his jazzes and burning his effigies just 10 years ago when they forced him into retirement. When they used to call him the Catalan. When they went like you don't feel the way Maradona used to feel. Because remember, the reason Maradona is so adored in Argentina is he tagged on the emotional cords of the fans. And Maradona was literally a fan playing the game. That's what he was. He wasn't a soccer player. He was a fan who just happened to be gifted enough that he could play the game.
5:28Do you remember, actually, do you remember, have you seen that video where Pele's talking to Maradona? They're at some event and they're outdoors and they don't realize that their microphones are on or they're hot. And there's like a ceremony happening around them. And then they start talking. And then Pele says to Maradona, he says, he's like, hey, have you met this guy, Messi? Messi, have you met him? And then Maradona's like, Yeah, I've met him before. Impele's like, he's really good, but I've never met him. Then Maradona's like, yeah, he's phenomenal. Then he goes, yeah, what's he like? Then Maradona goes, look, he's really, really talented.
5:57He's like, but he has zero personality. He's like, he'll never be great because he has no personality. He doesn't make the fans feel anything. He doesn't make the team feel anything. Argentines are very passionate people. They are very fiercely emotional people. And so Maradona, even with the things he used to do, the way he used to talk to the opponents, the way he used to talk to the referees, you could go like oh that's what I'll do as a fan just that most fans are not gifted enough to be on the pitch and so Messi for the longest time part of the reason why they accused him of being Catalan is they said you don't feel remember he never played in the Argentine league before he came to Barcelona which is rare so he never had that bond with the fans and so to see him cry as they were singing and like they were chanting at him and they were serenading him he just that emotion yes crying crying in front of them As they sang, it was beautiful.
6:47It was beautiful, Trevor. To see, you know, because normally in the world, normally in any story, drama or otherwise, you want to see that redemption arc. And to see them serenading him for 15 minutes straight. Yeah, it was 15 minutes. As he stood in front of them crying. I went like, oh, that's the stuff that legends are made of. You know who's also a legend? Yes. Enzo Fernandez. Let me tell you why Enzo Fernandez is a legend, bro. He's a legend because he celebrates his goal. like remember he's got that famous celebration cups his ears then he does the thing cups his ears does the thing does the thing standing there so now it's a great meme like everyone's got that meme right then did you also see that press conference that he gave okay so um because he put out he had like a post on his social media where he played wonder war oh okay and like laughing faces little laughing emojis and everything so then they asked him in one interview they're like yo bro why are you insulting england you live there and you play football there you get aren't you worried about it and then he was like no no no he says this in spanish he's like no you know i think people might be a little confused i didn't want to insult anybody in england he's like i have a lot of respect for the english uh he's like you know my housekeepers are all english and i respect them i respect them i was like yo bro my friends are all black what a crazy yes what a crazy statement that you think will get you out of us to be like, no, I have a lot of love for these people.
8:12A lot of them are my housekeepers. I pay them minimum wage. You know what I mean? And then he goes and he gets a red card in the World Cup. I think both yellow cards were silly. I think the first one, you can't get a yellow card for dissent in a World Cup final, especially against a team as good as them. Yeah, but can I tell you why? Because Argentina was used to not getting cards. No, no, no. I'm telling you. No, he genuinely thought he was fouled. He genuinely thought he was fouled. Yeah, but it doesn't matter, Joe. What I'm saying is this. This is what happens to teams. No, but players talk back every time.
8:42Nah, man. Let me tell you something. Players talk back. If they felt like they couldn't do it, they wouldn't do it. But he felt emboldened and then he met a ref who was like, oh, here's a card. I disagree with the whole premise of Argentina being favored. I disagree. I've watched all the games. There's no decision where you could go like, oh, there, they favored them. What? No, there were so many. Are you crazy? Yes. People were. I'm glad that you said yes when I said are you crazy no no no people were cherry picking I'll say this the second yellow was even sedier than the first one when you're on a yellow you can't go diving in you can't go diving in but you know why it's because he forgot that he was on a yellow no no no because remember Ajena had to take off Lissandro Martinez because he was on a yellow because you know against a team like Spain at some point you're going to have to tactically foul you can't do that when you're on a yellow so they took off Licha who was one of their best defenders and now he goes and does that.
9:33Now he's left them with 10 men. Messi doesn't press. Messi doesn't track back. Now you've left us essentially with nine men. Guys, you can't. But even if you have 10 men, 10 men against Spain. You're going to work. Guys, forget work. It's finished, man. No, no, but I'll say they gave a better account. Can you think of a team that can play Spain with 10 men on the field? Yes, Argentina. It's the only team. Because I'll tell you one thing. They gave a better account of themselves than France with 11 men. Against Spain. Yes. Yeah, that's true. They gave a better account. And the thing is, when I started out, and if you watch the live stream, I end up being very pro-Argentina at the end because I love a good defensive performance.
10:08I haven't seen teams defend like that since Italy. They were immense. In 2004, Euro 2004, when they defended like that, Alessandro Nesta, Fabio Cannavaro, Francesco Toldo, against the Netherlands at home. Netherlands missed two penalties. Italians were reduced to 10 men. They defended like their lives depended on it. Took it to penalties. Francesco Tordos stood up tall. They advanced to the finals. Now, I'll say this. I love a good defensive performance. I love a good attacking performance, but I love when the defense goes like, today we are throwing everything. We're putting our bodies in the line.
10:42And I felt like Yenna did that. I feel like Alberto Pasarela, the famous defender from 78, if he was watching, he must have been impressed. They gave it everything. It was a good way to lose. You give a battling performance, I can't stop that. Yeah, except when they started punching people after the game. Yeah, I don't know why they did that. Because for me, I felt like they were gallant losers. They were gallant. And then at the end, it just turned into a brawl. Yeah. Like it was a full-on brawl. Because Argentines are also sometimes sore losers. But the thing is, they give a better... If you see what Spain did to France, if you go out like that, that's disappointing.
11:15Today, they gave a battling performance. They were waiting for that one moment and they almost got it at the end. They almost got it at the end, yeah. Yeah. So that's the only way you can beat the Spain team. You can't try to fight them man for man. No one can play soccer like them. You can't try to fight territory by territory. No one can control territory like them. You can't try to fight them position by position. They're filled with Barcelona players. And then they add in people like Rodri. You said something about their wingbacks. Their wingbacks play like wingers. Yeah, they do. Everyone is comfortable in the ball.
11:41You can't go toe-to-toe with them, which is what France tried to do. And they learned a very painful lesson. I don't even think France went toe-to-toe with them. I think France made the mistake of thinking... They were equals. No, that they didn't need to play as a team. Yes. Because with Spain, the left back and the right back are as important in the attack as the left wing and the right wing are in defense. But with France, the attackers do the attack, the defenders do the defense. You know, an example of, you know, this is something that's going to be interesting to see how Zinedine Zidane takes over the French team.
12:13Because you even saw it in the England game. I know it was a third place game. And I know people are saying the game doesn't count. But I think it started counting towards the end. Yeah, it did. And if you look at that game, look at the moments where England was coming forward. What is one of the main things they had? They had one of their defenders leading the attack, Jed Spence. Yes. Right? But what is the thing that France never had? A defender leading their attack. You're right, yes. That extra man overlapping or giving you like the little undercut. Yes, yes, yes. It makes such a world of difference in a world where everyone's man on man, one on one.
12:47Because then you just don't have an extra person. Yes, you're right. Do you get what I'm saying? Yes, the thing I'm saying about, so for me, the thing that impressed me most, and again, people might not understand it, is if you're a student and a historian of the game, you know that Argentines love battling defenders. Let it be Roberto Ayala, let it be Sensini, let it be Roberto Passarella, let it be Oscar Ruggeri. They love defenders who give their all. And so if I was an Argentine watching that, I would go like, they fought for the shot. They did. Sweat, blood, tears, they fought for the shot.
13:16They didn't wilt. I've seen teams, I'm a Barcelona fan. I've seen teams. Barcelona, how many times do we get a red card? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we wilt and wither. And then we lose the game that we should have won. But it's also kids. Super, super. You also got to be fair though. This Barcelona team has been like it's kids versus like this felt like a team of men. Of men, yeah. And it did feel like the last of men because we won't see them again. What will be interesting is seeing what's going to happen now to England going forward. Before we talk about England, let me say something about Spain super quick.
13:44As a Barcelona fan, I loved this. I loved this because it had, It had so much in common, so many parallels with 2010. 2010, a Barcelona midfielder, Andres Iniesta, scores the only goal to give Spain their first World Cup in South Africa in extra time against the Dutch. It was 1-0 as well, right? It was 1-0 as well. Today, what happens? A Barcelona striker, much maligned by Barcelona fans like me, and Spain in general scores the only goal in extra time to give Spain that extra star on their jersey. Look, when they named this team... So they have two now? They have two now. Argentina has two. Argentina has three.
14:25Oh, yeah, three. Because of Messi's third one. So when Luis Dara Fuente, who is another much maligned manager, he didn't come in with the best credentials. And actually, for the longest time, people thought Spain was winning despite him. Not because of him. Despite him. Or in spite of him. So today, there's nothing to say to him. He has the Euros. He has the World Cup. but he named a Spanish team without a Real Madrid player. Now, there was only one Real Madrid player technically because of Kukurena who was moved from Chelsea. But this is a Barcelona victory. For a Barcelona fan, this is a Barcelona victory.
14:59Yeah, but also, if we're going to be fair, how many Spanish players are in the Real Madrid team? Yeah, no, not fair enough. So to say there's no Real Madrid players... No, but remember... No, no, no, but wait, wait, wait. Yes. Let's go through the Real Madrid lineup. Dean Housen was supposed to make the team. Carreras was supposed to make the team. Some people thought that Raul Asensio should make the team. Some people thought that Gonzalo Garcia should have made the team. Wait, doesn't Carreras? Oh, Carreras. Yes, Carreras, the left back. Oh, I'm thinking of, yeah, okay, okay. Yes. So there were a number of players who they thought, who Madrid fans thought should make the team.
15:28They didn't. Above the players they had, though? Yes. Yes, Madrid fans. Actually, okay, Madrid fans. I feel many Madrid fans were waiting for this. When they drew against Kepp Fad, many Madrid fans were like, that's what you get. Oh, they were like, that's why you, yeah, yeah. That's what you get for bringing Barcelona players. But Joe, man, it, you know. So this is for me, as a Barcelona fan, this is a victory for me. People say it over and over and over again. And every single tournament you think it's not going to be true. I mean, I know I fall victim to this, man. I fall in love with the attacking flash.
15:59I fall in love with the prowess up top. I fall in love. Man, defense wins championships. Defense wins. It's a cliche. It's a cliche, but it's true. Spain barely scored goals in this World Cup. I know they had one big game. Was it like 5-1? Yeah, that was Saudi Arabia. It doesn't count. Do you know what I mean? But they barely scored goals. That's how they won in 2010. But the amount of clean sheets they got in this World Cup? Yes. They considered one goal. Just the criteria of Belgium. They head against Coupas. That's pretty crazy when you think about it. They considered one goal. That's what they did in South Africa as well.
16:31And for me, that's why I'm so, that's why I'm crediting the Argentine defense so much because there's that thing called gara. The Argentines call it gara. Claw. Claw. where you claw your way, you know where you're beaten, but you claw your way back. And they showed you today. Spain, normally teams like Spain who are very pretty and they wear pretty patterns are always very, they have a soft underbelly. Barcelona has a soft underbelly because they know how to play pretty football. But when the pressure is on, they collapse. You know what it is though? There are some countries where they're lucky.
17:02We basically get to glimpse into an alternate universe. So for me, what I love about the World Cup for certain countries like Spain, Argentina, etc. With Spain, we get to see what would Atletico Madrid be like with Messi. Yes, yes. Right? With Argentina, yes. Sorry, what would... With Argentina, yes. No, no, what would Atletico Madrid be like... With Messi. With Messi, when we watch Argentina. Yes, yes. Okay? And then with... That was a typical Diego Simeone performance. Right. And then with Spain, we get to go, what would Barcelona be like if they had Rodri? Yes. Like, it feels like that's the one thing Barcelona is missing now is a Busquets type.
17:36Yes, yes, yes. And you get to see it. You're like, oh, yeah, this would make a big difference for them. We have a kid coming, Mark Banal. Oh, yeah, you've talked about him for a long time. Yeah, he's like, who's kids? Like England, Joe. Let's talk about England, bro. We're going to continue this conversation right after this short break. We're coming to you from a boot room sponsored by Febreze, which if you know anything about soccer is usually the last place you'd want to hang out. Because this is where all the gear lives. The cleats, the jerseys, the socks, the bags, everything that probably never sees a washing machine until it's too late.
18:12But right now, it actually smells fresh in here. That's because Febreze Fabric is built for exactly this kind of odor. The stuff trapped in fabrics that you can't just throw in the wash. It doesn't just cover it up. It actually fights the odor. And I have to say, this is one of the more confident sponsorships I've ever seen. Usually brands want to put their names on the nicest room in the building. The VIP lounge. The luxury suite. the hospitality area. Febreze looked at the boot room and said, no, no, no, put us in there. And honestly, I respect that. Because this room contains decades of bad decisions.
18:54Wet cleats, forgotten gym bags, socks that should have retired years ago. The kind of smells that don't just enter a room, they sign a long-term lease. And yet somehow it smells fresh. Yeah. Can you smell that, Joe? Smell what? Exactly! That's what is so impressive about this. Because a lot of the things in here are exactly the things that you can't throw in the wash. None of it. The cleats, the bag, the car seat, after practice. That's the whole point. Febreze fabric is for the things the game touches that the washing machine can't. And it's made with no dyes, no formaldehydes, and uses a 100 % natural nitrogen propellant.
19:33If your soccer gear is starting to smell like its own locker room, it's time for Febreze fabric. it doesn't just mask the odors it fights them find Febreze Fabric at Walmart
19:53England I don't think English fans please look away this is going to be very brutal please look away don't just yeah you know trigger warning look away I'll say this about England 6 goals against France Joe I'll say this about England England has one problem. And there's only one way they're going to fix it. England is a small footballing country. England is a football midget. And the sooner they accept that, remember what they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is the first step. It's the first step. England has won one World Cup, 1966. Ever since then, they haven't made a single World Cup final.
20:31Argentina has been to six. Germany has been, I think, to six. England thinks they are the same level as Germany and Argentina. they are not. They are at the same level as Diara Congo, Malawi, Senegal is a bit higher. England has to look in the mirror, Trevor. England has to take it. Yo, what an outlandish claim. No, no. Okay, okay. You think it's outlandish. England has one World Cup more than Uganda. And England has as many World Cup final appearances as Uganda since 1966. That's a crazy way to win an argument. I would rather say this. Here's, okay, here's, I... How would you put it? If you're not a troll...
21:06Okay, I'm not trolling. I'm stating facts. I'm not saying you're trolling. I'm just saying you're a troll. Yes. So, if you're not a troll, if I was to give an honest assessment of England, this is what I would say. I think sometimes the English, the fans of the team, they are confused by the quality of the Premier League and they think that that quality will immediately translate to the national team. That's a fair assessment. Forgetting that a lot of the highest quality in the Premier League... doesn't come from the English players. Now, I'm not saying the English players are not great in the Premier League, but I'm saying if we look at the standouts, every single season, Mohamed Salah, who else?
21:50I said this, Rodri. Mohamed Salah, Rodri. Kevin De Bruyne. Kevin De Bruyne. Just go through the champions over the past few years. Bruno Fernandes. You know what I mean? Not even a champion, but if we look at top goal scorers, top assists, Erling Haaland. But I said this. I said this in our preview podcast. I remember when I said, England has never produced the greatest player. Do you realize... They produce good players, but they're always better players from other countries. But do you realize until this third place game, no Premier League player had scored? England had never reached... This was England's highest performance.
22:20Yeah, but I'm saying, do you also understand that? No Premier League player had scored. Yes. But now the drama... I don't know if you've seen the drama. It's getting spicy. So if you've seen on Instagram and if you saw after the match, so Bukayo Saka gets a hat-trick, right? Shows like Bukayo Saka-ness. Yes. Start padding in a meaningless game. the team. Do you think it's a meaningless game? It's a meaningless game. It was played at walking pace. I've seen games on our Tuesday night pick up that have far more intensity than that. It was a meaningless game. The last 20 minutes weren't meaningless.
22:49Yeah, but you know. The last 20 minutes were real. Look, I feel like the fans should have been refunded their money. I think the fans got more value at that game than all the other games they've watched. Not if you're a real soccer fan. You see today's game. Today's game was intense. Yesterday. Nah, bruh. Trevor, I'll say this. Let me first say this about you. No, no, no. Let me first say this about you. Wait, wait, wait. This is what I'm saying. You're not wrong. If we're going to talk about it in like an academic... Is England a great footballing nation? As an academic footballing exercise, it was not great football.
23:16No one was committing. I don't want to talk about a third place playoff. No one was pressing. We don't have time. This is like discussing Rob Kardashian. No, I'd rather talk about Kim Kardashian and the rest. I'm not going to talk about a third place playoff. I don't have time. Trevor, let's talk about England. I want to diagnose England's footballing because I want to help England become a better footballing nation. England has to admit they are not on the same level as Argentina, Germany, France, Spain. They're not. But I think they know that. No, they don't. And you blame the fans. I don't blame the fans.
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23:44I blame... No, I'm not saying the fans. No, no, no. I'm saying I blame the media. So the English media is very good at bigging up English players. Yeah. And then the English fans and the English players drink the Kool-Aid. And they come in thinking, if England came into the World Cup with the same expectations as Malawi, as Curaçao, they would always overperform. But when you come in thinking you're Argentina, you always feel you've underperformed. So here's the problem with England. And I'm not hating guys. I know some people say you're hating on England. I love England guys. They gave me Shakespeare.
24:14They gave me The Beatles. They gave me Harry Potter. They gave me The Office. They gave us Mr. Bean. I love England. Our best friend, Lawrence, is English. One of the best stand-up dudes you'll ever see. Trevor, I went to perform in England. Best comedy audiences by a country mile. I love England. Here's the problem with England. England, first of all, my beef with England is simple. England deprioritizes players who make other countries win. A player like Pedri would never, ever shine in England. Yeah. A player like Vitinha would never shine. A player like Messi, he's too small. I mean, no, but I mean, people are saying that about Kobe Mainu.
24:55They're saying, how on earth did Kobe Mainu not play? Even in this World Cup, they're saying, why didn't Saka play more? So, forget Saka, forget Kobe Mainu. England for the longest time, if you've watched international football, you can go back as far back as the days of Glenn Hoddle. You can go as far back as the days of Chris Waddle. You can go back as recently as Post Calls. England doesn't like gifted technicians. You can look at Mesut Ozil, the way the media treated him. They think they are lazy. What England wants is passion and lungs. Declan Rice, Elliot Anderson, those players will never win a championship because when it comes, when they meet great technicians, they always disappear.
25:34So England has never treated... The last time England actually built around a great technician was Paul Gascon. And when Paul Gascon was playing for England, that's when England dared to dream. If you watch Euro 96, when he scored that goal against Scotland, beautiful football by England, Gaza, that's majestic. I still remember the commentary. It's almost like C.P. Westrabala's commentary. He got the ball, long hoof forward, as always by England. Teddy Sheringham brought it down, passed it to Darren Anderton. Darren Anderton saw Gascoigne charging towards the Scottish box, passed it to him. Gascoigne looped it over the defender and hit it before it hit the ground.
26:12That's technique. England should build around players like that. Instead, what does England do? England treats them with suspicion or treats them as lepers. They throw them out of the team. Look at Postcalls. Postcalls, you sent me something that was very interesting where Postcalls said, even when we used to win, We never felt like we were in control. And remember, my response to you was, Postcalls is so close to the answer. He's actually the closest to the answer, but his Englishness can't make him see it. If England had built around Postcalls instead of Gerrard and Stephen Gerrard and Lampard, Postcalls was idolized by Barcelona players.
26:49Xavi had his posters. Iniesta had posters. Zidane said the one player he wanted to play with was Postcalls. But here's my issue, though. Here's my issue. Aren't you basically just saying that every team should try and be Spain? No. Because when France won the World Cup, they didn't play that way. They beat Aron Zidane. A technician. A great technician. No, no, no. In Mbappe's World Cup? In Mbappe's... They had... Griezmann was a great technician. He wouldn't play in England. He would be considered too small. He would be considered like people would bully him. So the thing is, post-calls, if you grew up in France, if you grew up in...
27:23Jokor. I'll give you Jokor. He's not the best player. If Jokul grew up in Spain Or grew up in France Or Italy Or Germany Look at Musiala They would build around Such a player But England likes bullies England likes power Peace and power And so The last player they built around Was Gaza Before that Glenn Hodo thrown to the side Chris Hodo thrown to the side Okay wait So who would you build around now then? Let's look at the team now I would build around I would build around Cole Palmer Great technician I would build around Consistent? He had an injury-plagued season No, no, I'm just asking I'm just asking questions I'm not saying I'm just asking questions I would build the team around him I would build the team I'd rather build Phil Foden hasn't delivered for England but if they build the team around him Phil Foden would play in Spain he's a great technician great in tight spaces but England likes Elliot Anderson and Declan Rice now it's not Declan Rice's fault that he has a horrible first touch he can't turn it's not Elliot Anderson's fault that he treats any ball as an unpinned grenade he just kicks it away this is not their fault if Declan Rice and Elliot Anderson grew up in Spain they'll be stacking shelves they wouldn't be on the football pitch football is about technique football is about how you did you see Olmo today yeah the way he would receive the ball on the half no he was special England doesn't have that player today's whole game was tight it was incredible like it was tight in terms of like where the player received the ball and where they moved from there space is at the premium space is at the premium how can you turn Jude Benningham for me is the one player in England who as I said last week takes out his balls slaps them on the table is he a technician No, he's not.
28:55He's not Pedri. He's even no Gavi. Spain is overflowing with technicians. You saw today. They take off Rodri. They bring on Zuby Mane. Yeah, no, the whole team, man. They take off Fabian Luis. They bring on Pedri. When England was under pressure against Argentina, remember what I kept telling you? They kept hoofing the ball away. Yeah, they did. When they needed someone to hold the ball. Did you see the difference today? Yes. Difference today? Spain is up. Ball goes to Argentina. What did the Spanish do? They went to them. Swarm them. They didn't, man, that's all I'm saying I was looking for from the English team.
29:29Don't retreat into your box when the ball is in the other team's half. And now you go wait for them. Because here's a few things that you do without realizing it. I know it seems safer. But first of all, you allow them to think. Because they get to look up. They get to scan the field. They get to assess the situation. When a man is on you, and that's why I'm not good at football. I know when you're on me I have to just think about the ball You've seen when I play It doesn't matter if three guys are on me I tell you no these are shots Pass me the ball These are non-existent shots Because I know I can control the ball It makes a big difference They can't go through me It makes a huge difference So what I'm saying though About the English team is When you looked at this team That played France I know you don't count it But did you see anything In this team From any of the players Where you would go Actually there's something there It was a meaningless game Which means English players Would turn up Declan Royce was incredible in that game because it was meaningless.
30:24English players always disappear, be it Hurricane, be it Declan Royce, they disappear in high-pressure games because they simply don't have the technique to take them through. I'll tell you this, and again, we're going to go like, Joe, you're being harsh. How much money did Declan Royce cost? $130 million, right? How much money did Elliot Anderson cost? $150 million. For me. And now they're saying... For me, listen. And now they're saying Morgan Rodgers also like... No, Morgan Rodgers is a winger. He's like a 10 sometimes. I don't mind him. I'm saying, for me, when I look at Elliot Anderson and Declan Rice, they are two butt cheeks of the same ass.
30:57Two butt cheeks of the same ass. Two butt cheeks of the same ass. I can control the ball better than them under pressure. My goodness. Two butt cheeks of the same ass. I don't know what's worse. And they cost so much money. I don't know what's worse. They cost so much money, Trevor. Now, I'll tell you this again. Two butt cheeks of the same ass. Trevor, I'm going to take you back to the 50s. Why did England win the World Cup in 1966? England won the World Cup in 1966 because in 1950, England thought they were the best team in the 1950s. Then they met that Hungarian team, the Magico Magyars, led by Frank Pushkas, and they taught them a footballing lesson.
31:34England was still playing 4-4-2. These guys were playing 3-5-2. They taught them a footballing lesson. A footballing lesson so painful, England went back to the drawing board and went like, we need to modernize our game. Now, the problem with England these days is they come to World Cup or they come to a European Championship and they perform to their talents. And instead of having a long, hard look in the mirror, instead of asking themselves questions, you know what happens? Because the media has been bigging up the players. The media can't go like, you know, the players are mediocre. What do they do?
32:05They look for scapegoats. And they blame game stats. And then it's like a vicious cycle every time. England thinks they're better than they are. Underperform. Blame game stats. they never take a hard look in the mirror and go, okay, what do we need to change? We need to change our footballing culture. We can't build around players who are strong. Football is not about hard work. Look, if I wanted hard workers in my midfield, I would go get Amazon warehouse workers. I would go get Kenya marathon runners. I would go get a cardiologist. Football is not cardio. Football, the ball should always move faster than you.
32:40That's what Pedri does. Pedri is not that fast. Rodri is not that fast. Oh, but good luck getting the ball from him. And England lacks that kind of player. What does France lack right now? Because I don't know if you saw the post-game interview that Adrien Rabiot gave. Okay. I don't know if you saw... He shouldn't be playing for France for starters. He's not gifted enough. It's sparked a lot. He's not gifted enough. Can I tell you, it has sparked a lot of controversy because from what I've been seeing online, French fans are torn. Some are saying Rabiot should be the last one to speak. Yes. Other people are saying, yes, he's calling out something that was terrible because they're saying...
33:18What did he call out? So he said that he had never seen something so disgusting. And people are saying, because he didn't, you know, he didn't call people out specifically. But people are saying he was commenting on what Cherki did during the match. So during the first hydration break... Incredible technician, Cherki. But during the first hydration break... I love him so much. D-Day Deschamps comes to him and says basically something to the effect of... Move his faster. Move the ball along faster. That's all. Move it along. And Cherky basically dismisses him and just walks away. Carries on doing what he wants to do.
33:49It was his last day on the job. I wouldn't listen to my boss if he's heading out of the door. Yeah, but still. And then Deschamps was like, it might be my last day, but you forget I've still got one more half. So he took Cherky off. And then Cherky goes and lounges like it's a picnic. Very Cherky. I'm not going to lie. Lounges like it's a picnic on the bench. And then France turned it around. You saw Didier Deschamps puts in the real French team. They start getting goals back. They start playing. It becomes something different. But now people are asking, it's like, it's interesting. The question people are asking is, does France also need to think about what it is trying to build towards versus just having the right talent to do something?
34:27No, I think France has a good team. They're just unlucky that they have a boogie team as well. What do you mean? They have Spain, it's their boogie team. France can beat every team in the world, I feel. Except Spain. Apart from Spain. Because Spain's style is totally at all. So you wouldn't change anything for France? Here's what I would have done. And France can't do this because it's on their style. If I was facing Spain, I wouldn't have played all four attackers because then you have passengers. So Orissa is a passenger. Due, Bacola are passengers. Dembele is a passenger. Mbappe is a passenger.
34:58What you need against Spain is you need hard-working players like we saw today, like we saw with Cape Verde. You need Puergogon to work hard to chase the ball. Mbappe, Due, Bacola, sorry, Dembele, they can't chase the ball. So what he should have done, he should have played the midfield of Kone, Kante and maybe Rabiot and Chumeni and then just had Dembele and Mbappe as outlets yeah so that every time you get the ball you hit those best men that's what you should have done because then you'd have two passengers instead of having four you can't play against Spain when you have four men down why did Argentina succeed?
35:31they had one passenger Messi Messi even when they went down to ten men they still they still held on to that yeah because they were working hard yeah yeah you saw Messi on the field yes would just stand by himself, waiting for the game to develop and come to him. And then the team would play for him. That's the only way to beat Spain. So France can beat every country. I also think the mistake they made, though, is... Okay, what would you change? It's not what I would change, but I think it's something that I think France maybe took for granted. And it's only evident when you play against a team like Spain or when you play against opposition that is closer matched to you.
36:07Yes, yes. Or that are technically... And I think in a way they got a warning shot from Paraguay, but they didn't see it, right? When they played against Paraguay, what did Paraguay do particularly well? They just put two men in every position to defend. So, Olise was up against two. Dembele up against two. Mbappe up against two. Everyone is up against two. Bakula up against two. It's always up against two. So, yes, you might beat one, but can you beat two? You beat one, but can you beat two? You beat one, but can you beat two? Who changed that game? The difference is, though, Paraguay didn't have...
36:37Yeah, didn't have an outlet. Didn't have an outlet. Do you remember who changed that game? who changed the game Dua, a great technician in tight spaces yeah he is he got the penalty yeah fantastic and he beat like so many guys to get that penalty right but what I'm saying is if Dua was English he wouldn't be anywhere near the English team but what I'm saying is though if you look at the team though it's not about like good or bad I think from when I watch it this is how it seems the French team you might take for granted that every player in that team is used to playing in a team where they don't necessarily have to work as hard Yes.
37:10So, they're the tip of the spear. When Olisse is playing for Bayern Munich, he doesn't have to work that hard in getting the ball because they always have the ball. He has Kimmich, Pavrovic working for him. They have the ball. Yeah, the dominated ball. They have the ball. And Harry Kane. Oftentimes, you'll be watching Bayern Munich and Harry Kane will be further back than Olisse. Yes, yes, yes. You look at Dembele. Dembele has Vitinha, João Neves, Fabian Ruiz. He has all of these guys working for him. Hakimi, Niumendez, everyone working for him on the ball, which is great. you look at and also PSG again dominates the ball you look at Mbappe everyone's working and he gets to wait up front tip of the spear tip of the spear right now you had three or four players who are used to not working yes all not working at the same time and then you notice it I think the comparison I drew I drew from France in that game was it's like if you took a kid from the suburb to the hood and now he's like wait what's happening I thought you get milk from the fridge and no you need to go and forage for it in the streets yeah yeah that's why they didn't know how to handle that.
38:09But for me, I think France just has to be lucky and one team knocks out Spain, then they walk to the championship. Can I tell you... Anytime they don't meet Spain, they'll walk it. France will win, yes. I'm so excited, man. For this next generation, if it happens the way they're saying, so it'll be Zidane for France, it'll be Jurgen Klopp for Germany. It's going to be Andrea Perlow. Apparently, this is allegedly, I'm not saying it is, but it could be Perlow for Italy. But he's not a good coach. He hasn't yet. Yeah, but I'm just saying it's exciting. I'm just saying it's exciting she was an amazing technician yes do you know what I'm saying he understands the game there's one more I feel like I'm forgetting one more of the teams there's just one one more name I might be forgetting but like to see that next generation that's going to be like properly exciting it's going to be very competitive but that's it Joe and then for England it's still Thomas Tuchel look man a player like and Ronaldo's going to be at the next World Cup let's bet on that now no he won't be I don't think you don't think Christian Ronaldo will be at the next World Cup Jorge Jesus loves him.
39:08He coached him at Al Nasser. But I think Jorge Jesus is also very ruthless. I think he's going to build around the new crop. You think so? Yes. He loves Ronaldo. They had a good relationship at Al Nasser in Saudi Arabia. But I don't think he's... I think he's too smart. I think he's too smart. And I think because now Gonzalo Ramos, remember, has left PSG, he's going to be getting playing time. So he's going to be able to claim. Part of the reason why Ronaldo kept playing was Gonzalo Ramos was always on the bench at PSG. So he couldn't claim. Because if we're honest, there's only one player who really lost at this World Cup from this crop of names, and it's Ronaldo.
39:44Yeah, it is. You know, because… He did score a knockout goal, though. That's something to take away. A knockout goal from a penalty that really wasn't a penalty. Yes. Come on, guys. Let's be honest. Yes. I'm saying, if you look at the names coming into this World Cup, Jude Bellingham. Yes. Dembele. Yes. Erling Haaland. Lionel Messi. Harry Kane. Harry Kane, Kylian Mbappe, even Lamina Mal. They showed up when they were on the ball. Yes, Lamina Mal only got one goal. He was struggling with Aningeri. Yeah, but no, no, no. Forget that. Go and watch every moment where he's on the ball. Creating moments of danger every time.
40:22Two players have to mark him. He's creating chaos. He's getting corner kicks. He's doing things. And then go and watch Ronaldo's highlights. And you're just like... But I told you this about Ronaldo. And for me, sometimes, again, people go like you're being harsh. If you're the greatest goal scorer the game has ever seen, which he is right now when you look at the records, you can't go six World Cups without scoring a knockout game. Bellingham can't outscore you four times in one World Cup. Yeah, that was crazy. That's insane. So for me, when I look at Ronaldo's record, again, great goal scorer, Ronaldo performs in the Champions League.
40:54He's missed the Champions League. I want that Ronaldo when he puts on the Portugal shot. I don't want excuses because great players don't need excuses. Yeah, but it's age, bro. No, no. Even in his prime. Even in his prime. Even in his home, Ronaldo never delivered for Portugal. So people would go like, oh, he's 40. But even when he was 26, he never delivered. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. I see what you're saying. So you're saying regardless of the age. Yes. So for me, it's the same thing with Harry Kane. Harry Kane, you can't score three goals from open play. And the two are against Diaracongo. And the other one is against Senegal.
41:20No. Harry Kane, I need you to show up. When I look at Harry Kane and Ronaldo for me, they have to use a meme. We use a lot in football or a copypasta. They have mastered the art of start-boarding against footballing midgets. You know, the casuals love it. Their fans love it. Even the analytics guys fall for it. But I see through them. I see through them. For me, they're just tapping merchants. So let's wrap it up. Tapping merchants. Let's wrap it up. Team of the tournament for you. Team of the tournament, without a doubt, for me, Spain. Cape Verde for me. No, they were not Spain. No, for me, Cape Verde, team of the tournament.
41:53Cape Verde. Player of the tournament. Now you see, now you see. Okay, can I just... You see, if England came in with the hopes of Cape Verde, they would always overperform. because Cape Verde came in going like if we just make the knockout rounds England is at the same level as Cape Verde they should first admit that then they'll be on a path England is in multiple semi-finals you can't say that yeah they've never made a final so for me team of the tournament Cape Verde player of the tournament player of the tournament I'll go with man you know people are so unbiased I'll go with Messi nah I agree with you 39 nah Lionel Messi come on guys Messi is competing with kids yeah who are supposed to replace him clearly player of the tournament goalkeeper of the tournament Unai Simone without a doubt Unai Simone you know the way he was playing you saw him today you were shocked by how high he was playing he was like a he was like a vintage sweeper keeper and also remember there were doubts about him coming to the tournament because people were going like yeah but David Raya has won the golden club in England no he was fantastic Garcia is great for Barcelona and the coach Luis Dara Fuente went like I stand by my man no he was fantastic I'm going to go I'm going to go with Vosinha though just because he had to face so many more shots.
43:00You love these underdogs. No, no, no. I'm being serious. For me, like you said, if Cape Verde didn't meet Argentina, I think we're telling a very different story about them. And I think Vosinha, his positioning, his decision-making, his ball-playing ability and his composure. And also his age. If you're talking about 39-year-olds. Oh, yeah, you're not wrong as well. On top of that. He's a 40-year-old, yeah. Vosinha did say he was single. That was funny. When they asked him in the Good Morning America interview, I went like, 40? Vosinha, you've dropped. You've just dumped someone. I know how you move.
43:27I know how players move. Team to look out for in the next World Cup. I think the team to look out for again, it will be Spain. They're such a young... Paukou Bas is 19 years. I think Morocco can do something. Morocco is also a young team. They'll be hosting. You know, sometimes... Actually, you're right. I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. But the thing is, they'll have to go past Spain. And they'll have to go past France. France has their number, remember? Yeah, man. France really has their number. But they're such a young team. Look, Morocco, I haven't been this excited about a Moroccan team since the days of...
43:55I don't know whether you remember by Yusef Chippo, Mustafa Haji. Oh, Haji. Yeah, Noredi Naibet. That team was the golden generation and I never thought Morocco would produce such a team. Morocco came in 2022 with a great team. Most of them, Roman Seis, their captain, most of their players, all of them got triples by younger players. And now the coach who is coaching them, Mohamed Awad, who for me actually, with the Cape Verde coach, are the two coaches of the tournament. He used to manage it last year. He coached their under-21 team to the world championship. under 20 team so he trusts the youth and remember he got paracuted into this World Cup three months before so now he's going to have enough years four years to work with them Morocco you're right I concede Morocco is going to be the team to look out for I concede on Vosinha I concede on Morocco Infantino do you think he's going to make it to the next World Cup when's the next election for FIFA Infantino is never leaving forget about elections Infantino is more secure than a tin port dictator because what Infantino does is this remember Remember, FIFA doesn't allow...
44:57You put him in a great World Cup. Forget the World Cup. FIFA doesn't allow political interference into the running of the national federations. Okay. And they don't do that because they want to stop the corruption of the game. They do that to actually safeguard corruption. Because FIFA knows. FIFA knows. Because the people who vote for Infantino, who vote for president, are the national federation presidents. So Infantino is like the godfather. And he goes like, you're my car pose, right? You're my street car pose. I'll protect you so long as you also rub my back when it comes to it. Infantino is never leaving.
45:28I can't, I want him to leave so badly. Guys, let's stop leaving. If it wasn't him, we don't get more teams. Yeah, but it's not also a benevolent thing. Remember, he expands the World Cup but he also makes ticket prices go up. That's the one thing that's going to change. No, but tickets are going to go down in the next one. You know why? Because scalping, no, but scalping laws are different. In Europe. And trust laws as well. Yeah, so in America, you could, resell your own tickles. You could have dynamic pricing. I think it's going to change a lot. No, I think if you dream of Infantino leaving, yeah, you're in La La Land.
45:59That man, we're stuck with him. Infantino's the Spain of FIFA presidents. He's never leaving. But you know, not even... He's... Yeah, man, he has us in a chokehold. It's as simple as that. He has us in a chokehold and we just have to make the deal with the devil. He has the game. He puts on... Infantino is the Spain of Shakira's. His hips do lie. People who've got the World Cup in a chokehold. Before we go, can I say something? Yeah, say it. Guys, this guy here, I want to talk to you. Whatever you do, if you're watching, if you've watched our podcasts, if you've watched our live streams, guys, get yourself a friend.
46:39And I know he's going to hate me for saying this. He probably will never forgive me for saying this. But I'm going to give you too many timeouts. Don't interrupt me. You've been handing out timeouts like a dictator. I'm handing out one now. Guys, get yourself a friend like Trevor Noah. because this guy brought me from Africa, took me to the Daily Show, and he told me, normally when they bring Africans to America to work, it doesn't end well. He brought me to the Daily Show, a dream come true. Trevor helped me win my first Emmy. Oh, man. And he spent the last six weeks paying me to watch the World Cup and talk about football, guys.
47:15Look, look, this is... If you're ever choosing cocktails to ride, choose very carefully because if you choose the right ones, you'll go far. Trevor didn't just bring me here to talk about the World Cup. Every after a live stream, he used to take me aside and give me tips, give me advice because this was the first time I was ever being in front of the camera. First time I was ever broadcasting and he gave me tips to become a better broadcaster, gave me tips to become a better streamer. If you saw me in their first live stream, you could see I was rough around the ages. I'm still rough around the ages.
47:44Yeah, I was about to say nothing has changed, Joe. But he made me a better streamer. So I guess what I'm trying to say is if I open an OnlyFans after this, this man is to blame but the thing I appreciate most about Trevor and I have to say this is despite all the advice he gave me do I have to sit here for this you have to sit why do I have to sit here for this I'm going to lengthen it to five the thing I appreciate about Trevor is do I have to sit here for this what am I doing he tried to make me a better broadcaster but one thing he didn't try this is why I wish I could just give myself a red card one thing he didn't try to do was change me he didn't try he didn't try to make me a better listener he knew that was a lost cause so that's what good friends are all for but no seriously guys We accept you the way you are.
48:19No, seriously, Trevor, this has been a pleasure. It's been dope, my friend. This has been a dream, man. It's been dope. This has been, and you're paying me minimum wage, but I'm not complaining. I could have paid you to do this. No, guys, seriously. And I know he hates me. He's probably going to never forgive me for saying, he's laughing now. But he's going to give me, what did they used to call it? The hair dryer treatment once we get out. But no, guys, seriously, get yourself. It was too much fun, man. Yeah, man. This is great, Joe. He'll open doors for you. He'll do things. But I told you this.
48:44We were in Russia together. Yes. We were in Qatar together. Now we're in America together. Now you've reminded me. You know he has taken me to Barcelona. Got me. Think about it. Game 1 jazz. Trevor has... You've seen me. I'm not like used to polite... I'm not someone you bring around polite company. Polite company, sorry. I'm not someone you trust around polite company. He's taken me to meet Shakira. He's taken me to meet Beyonce. Risking everything. By the way, after that, we've never met those people ever again. I'm just going to tell you that now. They put up restraining orders, yes. That was it.
49:10And then he put me... You made me host a live stream. Not once, not twice. My circle has shrunk over the years. This man risked demonetizing his channel. And that's what I think good friends are for, Trevor. It's been too much fun, man. You've done so many things. This was a dream. Thank you, Joe. This was fun. And thank you, everyone, for joining us. World Cup is done. The chat, please stay together. They built a community. I think we have to thank them. Yeah, it'll be big. They have a Discord and all that. Yeah, stick together, guys. All right, I'm going to go rest. This was great, Joe. You deserve it, brother.
49:41This segment is brought to you by Febreze. You know, everyone is talking about this being the biggest soccer summer in American history. There's more fans. There's more games. There's more kids playing. More adults suddenly deciding that they're soccer experts because they watched one match and learned what offsides is. But nobody talks about the hidden cost of soccer's growth. The smell. That's right, people. More soccer means more cleats More bags, more jerseys More car rides home after practice More gear getting thrown into corners And left there for way longer than anyone wants to admit Which brings us to today's confession booth Joe, it's time to be honest What is your worst odor crime?
50:32Wow, let me see So I went to an all boys school. Oh, it's bad already. And I was part of the soccer team and we're all teenagers. So you talk about other crimes. I've witnessed other crimes against humanity. Some people lost their sense of smell during the pandemic. I lost mine long before. Okay, I'm ready for my confession. What's your confession, Trevor? I did not know that clothing is meant to be removed from a washing machine after it has been washed. so at the tender age of 27 i placed clothes into a washing machine and i pressed wash and then i left it and i left the house for three days when i returned home i thought that somebody had been murdered in my living room there was no person no murder had taken place, Joe.
51:30I followed the smell to my washing machine. And then I was like, wait, did my washing machine kill somebody? I opened the door, Joe. And the only murder was what happened to my nose. Have you ever smelled clothes that have not been removed from a washing machine after being washed? Never had the pleasure. I had to move out of that apartment, Joe. I didn't get my security deposit back. And those clothes will never be spoken of again until this moment right here and that's why my friends this room is so confusing to me because despite my experience we are sitting in a professional boot room you see it this should smell like every overtime game every rainy practice and every pair of cleats that got left in a trunk over a long weekend but instead it actually smells fresh that's because Febreze fabric is designed for all the things you can't just throw in the wash.
52:28The cleats, the gear bags, the car seats, all the places where sports tend to leave a lasting impression. If your soccer gear is starting to smell like its own locker room, it's time for Febreze fabric. It doesn't just mask odors, it helps fight them. Ah!
52:53Find Febreze fabric at Dollar General. You nailed that. It got even fresher in here. Now I don't even know if we were in here. Did you get it? What Now World Cup bonus episodes are produced by DayZero Productions in partnership with SiriusXM. Executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin, Ryan Harduth, and Rebecca Shane. Music, mixing, and mastering by Hannes Brown. Thank you so much for listening. Join us every Monday during the World Cup for bonus episodes of What Now with Trevor Noah.
53:36Thanks again to Febreze for sponsoring this episode. Febreze is the official odor fighter of Major League Soccer. That's the point. Febreze fabric is for everything the game touches that the washing machine can't. you're not changing anything it was already fresh after the first spray i feel like you're just you're just having fun with the bottle now no one man should have all that power
From the publisher
The FIFA World Cup 2026 has come to an end. In this final bonus episode, Trevor and Joe break down Spain's dramatic extra-time victory over Argentina to become world champions. They also look back at the tournament's biggest moments and standout players, pull no punches in their critique of England's football culture and France's tactical shortcomings, and look ahead to the sport's next generation. Closing out their six-week run, Joe gets emotional reflecting on his broadcasting debut, and he and Trevor express their gratitude for an unforgettable summer of football.
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