WORLD CUP Bonus Episode: The Pregame

27:46Basically, no, no, Joe, let me set the stage. Don't defend yourself at all. I first need to explain this. You're a hater, which is good for the game. Haters are good in certain aspects. You keep people honest. You're a hater of English players. You don't rate them at all. and so for you for you you're not shocked when england ever quote unquote under don't say anything i'll let you know when it's time for you to respond you don't think it's ever england underperforming you think that they're lucky to be there like make a wish kids or something yes right now i'm saying england has always had some of the most talented players in the world we can go back decades you know we can go back to like the generations of skulls and and then you can jump forward to like the Lampards and the Gerrards and the Beckhams and you can keep skipping.

28:39This current crop as well is one of the most talented group of English players we've seen. Ben to the fire. I'll let you know when. Silence. Cone of silence. Vow of silence. I don't want to be in a cone with you. The current English squad though has created a bunch of waves because the coach is it it's not the first time but it's like it's one of the few times that England hasn't had an English coach the last one they had was Fabio Capello the last time they had a non-English man as a coach didn't they have like the the guy from Scandinavia I feel like for a moment Sven Joran Eriksen thank you no but Sven came after he was after Capello no he was before Capello before Capello I'm saying the last one was Capello.

29:34Right. But generally, they have English coaches. Now they went with Thomas Tuchel because things were not going right for them. They went with the German. That's how badly things were going. I mean, if you want to get things done, you go with the Germans. Yes, but English tabloids didn't receive that very well. Yeah, my man, my man, my man. Hey, you go with what works. No, because especially when it comes to - Made in Germany. So they could allow a Swede, they could allow an Italian, but England and Germany have such a rival in soccer. it's almost like if Americans named, wow, should I say, an Iranian now as the coach of the American team.

30:10That's how badly they hate each other. Damn, that's another great pitch. We should do that. So, yes. So, England and Germany. You're just coming up with some great ideas here. Everything that you think is wrong and crazy, I want to live in that world. They hate each other so much. And by the way, to go back to the vehement argument, I think England has modestly talented players who normally get way more hype than they deserve. There's a reason why no English player has won the Ballon d 'Or since Michael Owen. Can we throw internet sounds on some of these things you're saying? Fwa, fwa, fwa! No, it's...

30:39Fwa, fwa, fwa, fwa! England has always had modest retentive players, but they've never... Yeah, they've never had the most retentive player of their generation. Sure. You talked about Beckham and Scholes. That was a generation of Zidane and Alessandro Del Piero and Raul and... All these other countries had way better players. Ronaldinho, Ronaldo. I said way better. England has never had a generation where you go like, Oh, yo, are the cameras rolling on this trash? No. Is this just me talking to a madman in a corner? No, these are facts. So every time England has had a player who's good, other countries have had way more players who are way, way better.

31:15When you talk about the current generation, they have, who's the most talented player? Harry Kane. Still not the best striker in the world. Who's a better striker than Harry Kane right now? I would say... Elevator music. No, no. Look, look, look. Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, what floor would you like, sir? No, no, no, listen, listen, there's a death, there's a death of proper number nines in the game right now. My friend, my friend, my friend, your fancy English is not going to save you here talking about a death, a death of...

31:51No, I'm saying, I'm saying still non-debate, maybe, maybe I shouldn't... Just use a lot and let's keep it moving. I shouldn't have said the best striker. Tell me a better striker than Harry Kane right now. I should have said better striker. I should have said they are still not the best player. Tell me a better striker than Harry Kane right now. Good goal scorer. Tell me. Great goal scorer. Say me, but still not the best player in his own team. Great goal scorer. Is he from Peru? Who's that? No, no, no. I'm not familiar with that name. Harry Kane. Who's great goal scorer? Harry Kane. Maybe the way you're pronouncing it is throwing you off.

32:24Great goal scorer. Is he Greek? He's still not the best player in his own team. He scored a heart full of goals, but when it came to choosing the best player... You see what you've just done here? What you've just done here is something that I'm glad we do not see in football. You have just moved the goalposts. That's what you've done, Joe. That is what you have done, Joe. No, all I'm saying is... Harry Kane. Yes. I asked you the question. Yes. Respond to me. Yes. Who is a better striker than Harry Kane right now? He's... Right now. I struggle to think of a better striker, but he's still not the best player in the world.

32:54Not even top three. No, not even top three. He's not the best player at Bayern Munich. Oh, my man. In his own club. And that's what I keep talking about. So, Michael Lise voted Bundesliga player of the year. Yo, my man, my man, my man. Joe, Joe, Joe. Joe, wait, wait, Joe. I see that you're spiraling and I understand why. Okay, I understand it. As a hater, as a hater, I understand haters. I understand haters. I'm saying this team in every position has somebody who can hurt you. do not sleep on bukhaya sucker still not anywhere near the best winger hey my friend my friend do not sleep on that boy okay he will hurt you okay okay do not sleep on that boy struggles to beat his man every time he's not like minyamar he's not kvichakraskeria he's not by the way how do we say that guy's name kvichakraskeria try again that is right joe kvichakraskeria try it again Kicha Kvarskeria I think you've said it I think you've said it Three different ways Three different times Let him try saying my name He's from Georgia In fairness Let him try saying my name No what I'm saying is like No I'm saying every single Commentator says his name Says it very differently I've heard some commentators say Kvarskeria And then I've heard some Commentators say Kvarskeria And then I've heard some Commentators say like Kvarskeria Yes So I don't know how anyone Says his name I've never heard But he's not in the World Cup So it doesn't matter The point is England Let's go back to England Okay let's go back to England So England has put forward their team.

34:23One of the biggest things that's come out is people saying, especially the English press, saying that this was a terrible selection because some of the most prominent English players were omitted. Creative at the end. So off the top of my head, players that they feel were omitted. Phil Foden from Manchester City. Yes. Cole Palmer. Cole Palmer from Chelsea. And of course, Trent Alexander-Arnold. Maguire from Manchester United. Harry Maguire. Luke Shaw from Manchester United. Wait, wait, who else? who has left out? Trent Alexander-Arnold Trent Alexander-Arnold from Real Madrid Can I just say if as a nation you're lamenting Maguire not making the team you're already not in a good starting place let me just say that if as a nation you're bemoaning and making noise because Maguire isn't on the plane you're already starting from a losing position and I'll say this this guy yo man I'll say this the selection very controversial actually so many in the English press especially the tabloids think Thomas Tocco is a German double agent sent to sabotaging them from is that what they're saying yes because they think you left out the best players we have I think the selection made sense okay here's the thing I don't understand so here's let's go through this let's go through this ourselves right because I mean if we're honest we are probably the foremost experts in football in the world right we don't we don't like to toot our own horn but we are We are.

35:52So let's talk about the players who are left out and agree or disagree about why they should have been left out. So Phil Foden. I love Phil Foden. I think he's one of the most talented players in the world. But we cannot deny that Phil Foden has had a wishy-washy season. Far from his best. Yes. Right? And I'm going to go on the record and say I blame the Manchester City system. My opinion is Because Manchester City Has so many players And so many options When you experience a dip You're just on the bench Immediately Pep Guardiola can just put you on Because he can afford To put you on a bench Other teams can't afford that Right So if you're playing for You know Liverpool Manchester United Arsenal Any of them If you're having a bad game You're having a bad game And if you have another bad game You have another bad game Because they don't have A whole first team Sitting on the bench Like Manchester City does So Pep benches you as Foden I think it does two things to you One, mentally It messes with you because you go My mistakes are punishable In a really big way Number two It also means you don't get to rectify the mistake So in the next game you're not there And then if they win you don't play again It's like if you swipe right on a girl You're really swiping right What's happening to your dating?

37:10I've discovered this thing called abs And then you go on a fast date And then you mess up This guy's like a, it's like we found some guy, like some guy just came to America and the first thing they introduced him to was dating apps. Oh, I'm loving dating apps. Everything is swiping right here. In Africa, I had to walk five miles to find a girl. And now I just swiped. You had to wipe five miles and then you swiped right. I swiped, yes, physically. Oh, I'm loving dating apps. So what I'm saying is this. I think even beyond Pep Guardiola, for me, even if Phil Foden had not had a wishy-washy season, he has never delivered in an English shirt.

37:40He has never. Yeah, but that's not the point. But that's not the point. I think the point is, should he, I think we're both agreeing that when you look at other players, it does make sense that Phil Foden got left behind, unfortunately. Cole Palmer, yo man, yeah, but he's one of the most, I mean, he's just, he's a game changer. Yes. You know? He can turn it on anytime. Cole Palmer is one of those players who can create everything out of nothing. Every time he touches a ball, you don't know what will happen. He's unpredictable. but ever since the injury he hasn't been the same and he's been struggling yes i think it's just a case of like injury at the wrong time yes yes that's all it is so it makes sense that he's okay let's talk about harry maguire who did they pick instead of harry maguire i think they're going to go with uh maggehi they're going to go with dan burn from newcastle when you look at their are they put they have in defense?

38:39I think Maguire was harshly done by. He was harshly done. I think he should have made. If you're using form as the metric, Maguire should have been on the plate. Yeah, because, okay, look, I can see why Mark Gahey and Dan Byrne will get in ahead of him, but I don't get why he's not in the squad. That's the argument. Because who else is there in the squad? Surely you can take more than two centerbacks with him. No, no, they have, they are way more center backs. But the thing is... Who else? Yo, Ryan, who else is in the squad? Gerald Kwanzaa. Yeah, Gerald Kwanzaa. Yeah, the Liverpool player. Who went on loan?

39:15Who went on loan to buy a... Yeah, but Jed Spence is a fullback. Yeah, he's a fullback. But I'm saying Gerald Kwanzaa, the fact that Gerald Kwanzaa made it on the team and Maguire didn't. That's why I think... No, but now, okay, now, I'll be fair to Gerald. Gerald Kwanzaa's name was used also to keep Trent out of the equation by Thomas Tuchel. He said we don't need Trent because we have people like Gerald Kwanzaa who can play. both. Yeah, who are versatile, who can play both. But also now this takes me to the point I need to make about this England team. The players who bet on themselves, the players who stepped out of the comfort zone that's England in a way, ended up benefiting.

39:48So I'll start with Marcus Rashford. He went to Barcelona, ended up getting on the plane. I knew you were going to bring him up because of Barcelona. I'll give you another one. Daryl Kwanza left England, went to Bayer Leverkusen, ended up playing, ended up getting on the plane. who is the other player? Noni Maduweke left Chelsea, went to Arsenal, ended up going on the plane while Kopalma didn't. Another player, Ivan Toni, left the continent, went to Saudi Arabia, gambled big on himself. Did you include Noni Maduweke? He went from London to London. Yeah, but he went from a team where, you know, this is his boyhood.

40:26Okay, wait, wait. So let's amend your statement then. Yes. So you're saying all the players, okay, the players who moved and bet on themselves to try something different. To get more minutes. Yeah, they have all succeeded. Yeah, they all benefited. Ivan Tony, people thought his career was over. Wait, Ivan Tony's in the squad? He was on the squad, yes. Oh, I didn't know that actually. People thought his career was over. He made a big bet. He's definitely made big bets. And some person can't even bet on his game. He's definitely made a big bet. By the way, I want to go on the record and say, as you know, I'm not a fan of sports betting.

40:57However, I think players should be allowed to bet on themselves. I see no reason That a player Shouldn't be allowed To bet on themselves winning I see no reason I see a conflict though No bro What's the conflict? What's the conflict? I'm going into a match Okay I go to the bookies And I say I bet you I'm gonna win this match What's the conflict? You shouldn't be allowed To bet against yourself Against yourself yes And you shouldn't be allowed To bet on other teams No but I think Because you may have information I think it's a slippery slope Argument People always talk about Slippery slopes Like we're in Diddy's parties Hey, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

41:31Guys. You make it seem like Diddy actually had a literal slope with like baby oil. He probably did, my friend. I'm saying this. I'm saying this. The thing is, if you allow players to bet on games, whether for or against themselves, then it's just going to spiral. Because betting by its very nature, means you get more addicted to winning. So how are we going to control? You might start out betting on yourself. and maybe you don't score the goals you wanted to score, and then you end up betting. No, guys, we make a simple system where players can bet publicly on themselves. And then privately? You're not allowed to bet privately.

42:14The same way it is now. But then why not just? Because in my world, I think a player who goes, my salary is not that high, maybe I'm not one of the top-earning players in the world. No, no, no, no, no. They go like, I want to bet on myself. I bet that I'm going to do it this game. Why aren't they allowed to do that? Because what if they don't score? If he says, I'm going to score a hat-trick, and he doesn't score a hat-trick. Then he's lost his money. No, but come on. Then the repercussions, mental health, and then... Yo, you bet. He's going to try to recoup that money somehow. Yo, why? Why can they not bet on themselves?

42:50I like how you make it seem like... Why can the team take sports bets and they can't? I like how Trevor makes it seem like sports bettors actually have control. Most of them have no control. That's why they're betting in the first place. So they'll start out good faith betting on themselves. And then if they lose enough times, you know what they're going to do? Okay, so what you're saying is you're saying we're doing this to protect them. Yes. I can accept that argument. Because I'm against sports betting. So I can accept this argument. You didn't sound like you were against sports betting. No, no, no, no.

43:13You sounded like a mouthpiece for FanDuo and DraftKings at the same time. No, what I'm saying is this. I don't understand how you can have a system that then excludes one part because I'm accepting the reason you've beaten me in this and the reason I'm accepting defeat in this argument is because you used the elements of sports betting that I'm against it's addictive it's a spiral it takes you down a rabbit hole that's why you've won do you get what I'm saying? but I'm saying if we are going to allow sports betting to exist why don't we let the players bet on them that's all I was saying if human beings who are robots without emotions.

43:52Yeah, but I'm saying, so I'm saying if it's not good for the players, why is it good for the people? Because then that's one way for the people to be invested. They can't play. They can't get the rush from playing. So they must get it by being broke and losing their houses. By trying to win something. See you. It sounds like you are lobbyists for DraftKings and FanDuel and all of them. Before we even move on, you know the funny thing about England? The funny thing, the thing I love about England, as it is now, as you said, I'm a hater. The thing I love about England is the English media, who are notorious by the always picking a scapegoat, who's always black every time they don't perform, are caught in a very interesting sport because they don't want, they want Tuchel to succeed because he's coaching the English team.

44:35But then if he succeeds, he'll get a knighthood. And there's nothing worse for an Englishman than to feel like they owe something to a German. So I just want to see how that will play out because if Tuchel doesn't succeed, then they're going to frog match him out of of course yes they're going to Brexit him they would love that but then they would also love him to win but then that comes with such a huge payoff and such a huge debt what do you think their chances are? how far do you see them getting in this tournament? I think England are going to struggle in the opening games they always do struggle wait wait okay so who are the games?

45:11we have they always know I always know whether they're playing Uganda whether they're playing the U.S. whether they're playing they'll always struggle in the opening games but then they'll make it deep. They'll make a deep run. And I think then they'll... Ryan, who's England playing against in their opening games? What's the group stages? I'll have a look for you. Because depending on who it is, because one thing England does really well is they thrash small teams. No, they don't actually. What are you talking about? In the World Cup, they always struggle. Oh, in the World Cup, they struggle. They always struggle.

45:40England, Croatia? They always struggle. Oh, that's tough. England, Ghana? Wait, wait, wait. England, Croatia. didn't croatia beat england in qatar no in qatar they were beaten by uh france hurricane missed the penalty last minute what do you mean in qatar yeah hurricane missed the penalty last minute and france dumped them out croat was beaten by argentina three nil oh yes the thing is england did beat a big team though i can't remember right now england always struggles what game we were at a game where england was up one nil was a knockout game who are they playing they're playing france Olivier Giroud equalized.

46:17And then they tried to... Yes. Was that a France game? France took a 2-1 lead. Hurricane missed the penalty. That famous English mentality, folding and folding when the pressure is on. Okay, so who else? England who? I feel like England are there. Ghana. Yes. The second match. Okay, so England-Ghana. That's the second match. That can also be a... Anything can happen game with Ghana. They could be out two games in. That would be a dream scenario for me. But no, but England always struggle. but they always make it through. Okay, wait, wait. Those are two games they could easily lose. Yes. They could lose or draw them.

46:51The final games against Panama. That they should win. They will struggle. England always struggle when they are the favorites. But they're always the favorites. But they're not favorites this year. They don't know how to... No, no. When they're playing against a team which is another dog because they don't know how to break down low blocks. When a team sits back and defends, England always struggles because they don't have the tools to break down a low block team. Damn. So I think they'll make it to the knockout rounds. But there's always going to be, with England, there's always drama. Because if they lose their opening game to Croatia, then the tabloids are going to fire up.

47:24You know what the players do? It's going to be crisis, all hands on deck. The English media takes for granted how detrimental they are to the English game. Incredibly detrimental. I don't understand how they think the team will win when they are constantly bombarded with some of the most negative rhetoric ever. They do what tabloids do. they build you up. So pre-tournament, they go like, we're going to win. It's coming home. England are the favorites. We have the best team, the most talented team. Then they try to bring you down. Then the moment there's a setback, they jump onto the team. And I think that's going to happen.

47:56It happens every World Cup. But I think this time, England are going to make it, they always make it deep into the knockouts. But then they always, always struggle. They always, always struggle when the pressure is on. Okay. It's been the English cast like since 1966. I mean, You know, there's players that I love in the team, so I hope they at least do well. But I mean, I want Ghana to go through that group. I like it when they win enough games that have just enough hope. And then it all comes crashing down. And then you watch the media meltdown. Shame, man. I love it. It's a big one. I almost love it more than the World Cup.

48:36You know what you probably love is how the Spanish team snubbed all the Real Madrid players. They had a terrible season. None of them deserve to make it. which Madrid player also I like how they make it seem I love how let's just pause for a second and look at how look at how your face changed you got you tried to fake it and you were like you're like you're like they had a terrible season and they you don't think a single Real Madrid player none of them deserve to be called up to the Spanish team also the thing people forget is that Real Madrid doesn't have those many Spanish players okay actually no that's a good argument yeah because you've got Mbappe you've got Vinicius who plays on the right these days?

49:14The team is filled. It was Rodrigo. Because Rodrigo got injured. Then they tried, I think, Adagula there. They don't... And Carreras play. Carreras had a terrible season. And who's the Argentinian boy? Yeah, Mastantuano. Yeah, Mastantuano. Yes. Okay, he's Argentinian. They never have... The Real Madrid team, when you look at it, it's always like, it feels like when they have 12 Spanish players in there. Yeah, you're not wrong. Because they had Dean Housen, who then had a deep in form, which means now he was replaced by Militao and Rudiger. So they don't even have any Spanish. Dani Cavajal is too old.

49:47And he was replaced by Trent Alexander-Arnold in the team. So I don't know why Madrid fans are saying... Yeah, those don't sound... I don't know why they're surprised. And they had a terrible season on top of that. Those don't seem like snubs for me, actually. They don't seem like snubs at all. I think the thing Madrid fans don't like is the fact that way too many Barcelona players ended up making it. But then Barcelona had the best season. And Barcelona plays way more Spanish players. No, it makes sense. It makes complete sense. But it's the first time in decades that Madrid hasn't had a representative to the Spanish team.

50:21And that, I think, is a damning indictment. Don't go anywhere, because we've got more What Now? after this.

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52:02But I think that's the funny thing about this World Cup is almost every call-up, every selection has had so much drama. You know, you have England, you have Spain, you have Germany. You know what's happening in Germany? Well, I mean, German drama with Neuer. Yes. I don't get why that's a drama. I'll be honest. He retired, set out the qualifiers. Yeah. Another goalkeeper had to actually go through the qualifiers. So what? Did a good job. And now Neuer comes back and he's going to play in the World Cup. And then the keeper who helped them qualify. But Neuer was fantastic with Bayern Munich. Yes, but I'm saying...

52:37Let me ask you, the keeper who helped them qualify, is he in the squad? Yes. Then that's fine. But he was supposed to be guaranteed a starting role. Joe, it's fine. Trevor. Joe. Think of it this way. Joe, Joe, Joe. If you bring another Tinder analogy here, my man. I'm going to swipe left on you. If I swipe right on this girl, and then I take her on a date, and I treat her very, very well. And she says, I have an amazing time. And then she goes like, your place or mine? And I go like, oh, my place. And then you go back to my place. And then my friend who was discouraging me from actually swiping right on this girl goes like, now it's my time to shine.

53:13As you sit in the car chair. It just feels unfair. So let's - The goalkeeper. Let's improve on this analogy. Let's make it better. Your friend said that he's out of the dating pool. Yes. Okay. You went on a date Your friend said I'm out of the dates I'm not dating anymore But Outside the restaurant window Your friend was break dancing Yes Your friend was doing things My friend is a 10 Your friend was cooking Yes Your friend was singing Yes Your friend was juggling Man your friend was putting on a show Yes And outside the window Your date sees your friend Yes I was also putting on a semi show Fine Yes But as we know Semis are not exactly the best They don't count okay And then your date Saw your friend And went You know what I would like to date that guy Would that guy like to date me And then your friend goes You know what I'm back in the mix That's exact That's more what happened Yes But I'm saying So So I mean All is fair I guess the motto of the restaurant is If I ever take a girl out on a date I don't want Trevor Break dancing Outside the window Hey my friend Choose your restaurant Why is I just don't think There's drama.

54:26You know what? I'll tell you what's more dramatic. Yes. I'll tell you what's more exciting. This is the final World Cup where we get to see it's the changing of a guard in one of the biggest ways possible. I think before you move on to that, the fact that Germany is having mini drama for me tells me a lot about this World Cup. And I think I told you this, I think this World Cup has so much drama, it should be airing on Bravo. Because Germans normally are very, like matter of fact teams are chosen you think it's this it's it's that dramatic this is huge it's like causing waves in germany because they think they think it's very unfair to the keeper who led them they they said no yeah no he's amazing everyone wants him on the team i mean now you now you just you just sold me another brilliant idea we should go to bravo and sell them the the real housewives of the world cup yes and it's just the players and then that because now they've been a confessional and then the other goalkeeper will be like so you know i don't even understand what happened here because, you know, the whole time I was playing for the national team and I was the main player.

55:26Ten games, yes. Ten games and I took the team to the World Cup. We qualified with these hands in these gloves. And then all of a sudden that bitch Neuer comes out of nowhere and takes the spot. I mean, what are we doing here, guys? And then they cut to Neuer. Then Neuer's like... I like the fact that your dramatic German is still not dramatic at all. I mean, that was very dramatic German. He's being sassy, but he's not like a dramatic, dramatic real housewife. Yeah, but this is like, this is like for a German, this is... It's like peak sass. Germans who watch what I just did now are going to be like, damn, that was intense.

56:01That's, oh, they'll be like that German needs to control their emotions. You know what I mean? Like the scale for Germans. No, the thing I'm most excited for is the changing of an era, my friend. Last World Cup where we get to see Messi, Ronaldo and Neymar. Yeah, the last dance. These were... And Neuer. As I said, last World Cup where we get to see Messi, Ronaldo and Neymar. This guy just threw in a goalkeeper. Yes, he is one of the greatest goalkeepers of all time. Top three, yes. But he's not, yes. Come on. Come on. He shouldn't be in the same... Come on. We're talking about players... Who made you sit on the edge of your seat.

56:40Who made you want to play like them. Neymar arguably the greatest talent that again didn't achieve the heights that he was supposed to arguably because he didn't like want to Neymar never seemed to enjoy the pressure nor the lifestyle he was Brazilian but no but other Brazilians they reached their peak Ronaldinho did it no he didn't what do you mean Ronaldinho could have had does Ronaldinho have a Ballon d 'Or yeah but he could have he should have five yeah but he could But he should have had two If we're honest Yes at least two years He should have had two I think he was a little bit robbed of one He should have had two Yes He did his Champions League He did his leagues He did his World Cups He did amazing things No no no You want Brazilians always shine brightly But for such a short period of time Yeah but you want Brazilians To not be Brazilian That's your problem No that's why I said Neymar is Brazilian No He did the Brazilian thing Neymar underperformed for Brazilian even How many World Cups does Neymar have?

57:39None Okay How many Champions League Yeah, but he was also cast with the worst team in Brazilian history. Answer my questions. How many World Cups does Neymar have? He has none. How many Champions Leagues does he have? He has one. How many Leagues does he have? He has like three, four. In a career of how long? A career that's been cut short because of injuries. How many Ballon Doors does he have? None. Okay. Yes. It's a travesty. When you look at what Neymar is capable of, there is no person in this world who can dispute. Even Messi has said, let's use your lord and savior, Messi. Okay. Even Messi has said, when they've asked Messi, who are some of your favorite players?

58:23He says, when I watch Neymar play the game, I'm mesmerized. Pretty and beautiful. Yoga bonito, as you say. Messi says that. Yes. Neymar. So I'm excited that we get to see, it's like one last chance for Neymar to come out and just like, even if it's like for two games, just remind everybody why he was supposed to be that thing. In fact, I would even hope that Neymar wins a World Cup just because, man, it would be amazing. It would be good for him to win. It would be great for Brazil. But as I'm saying again, his cast, his generation, because Ronaldinho for all his talents, he still played alongside Ronaldo, Ronaldo.

59:06He played against, Neymar has been carrying this team on his back. That's true. And when you look at players like Rafinha and players like Vinicius, they're great at their clubs. Yeah, but they're not. Still don't perform when they put on the golden shirt. So I don't hold the ball under against him because he was competing in the same era as Ronaldo and Messi. It was a bit tough for him to break through. But I also think... Yeah, but I don't think he performed at the level. I think he didn't have the discipline. Yeah, but he talks about it. You've seen him. He likes playing video games. Yes. He likes living a different kind of life.

59:37And I think his dad puts too much pressure on him, but that's just from what I've seen. I mean, that's, you know. His dad is like any sports dad. He's like Michael Jackson's dad. He's like any sports, like Serena Williams' dad. He's like any sports dad who is invested in that kid becoming the next big thing will always put them under immense amounts of pressure. Yeah, that's true. Messi is just Messi. He can do anything. What do you think of the Argentina squad for this one? I think it's better than the squad in 2022. I agree. I think it's more balanced. I think the fact that Messi is four years older might count against them, but he's Messi.

1:00:13All he needs is a moment of brilliance. He's Messi. I think Ronaldo, the Portugal team, funnily enough, the most stable team. It's a good team. No drama. It's a good team. No selection drama. Yo, it's a good team. I think Ronaldo might hold them back. It is a good team. I think accommodating Ronaldo in that team might hold them back. It will. He's Ronaldo. Again, you can't count him out. You shouldn't count him out, but I think... He'll do more harm than good. So here's my opinion. It might be controversial if you're a Ronaldo fan, but I think the greatest thing Ronaldo can do is use... We're going to get banter at this day.

1:00:51That's fine. Yes. The greatest thing Ronaldo can do at this World Cup... Is be a cheerleader. Yes, is allow his team to do things without him. if you look at what what Portugal did at the Euros without him I'm not saying that he's not good and I'm not saying he shouldn't be in the team but I'm saying like if Ronaldo is able to lessen his gravitational pull both in terms of being on the pitch yes and in terms of like wanting the ball and man that Portugal team guys we're talking about like you've got Vitinha Jaunevez Jaunevez yes Nuno Mendes you've got Bruno Fernandes the whole team yes who just cannot kick a ball wrong Bernardo Silva you've got like decent defenders at the back as well yes it's frankly between them France the weakest player is probably the weakest player is probably the goalkeeper who saves penalties for fun true but beyond penalties though he's not the greatest goalkeeper the weakest player is by far Ronaldo and again did they bring Rafa Liao as well Rafa Liao is in there yeah man big difference maker I think for me the thing you said about Ronaldo and that's what makes this team a Greek tragedy is the thing you're saying is the exact thing Ronaldo can't do naturally.

1:02:02That's why I'm saying Ronaldo. He can't step away. Cristiano Ronaldo. For the benefit of the team. If you are out there, this could be the moment where you shock the world. No, he can't. It goes against everything in his DNA. Yes, but this is the moment. We love movies. Yes. What do we love about great movies? The unexpected happens. If Cristiano Ronaldo, if Cristiano Ronaldo comes out with that team and at a moment where we don't expect it takes a backseat, Portugal can win the World Cup. But what also makes great movies is the fact that normally the character or the protagonist or even the antagonist, they have a character flaw that they can't quite overcome.

1:02:44And Ronaldo has that as a character flaw. He has to be the main character. He can't step away. Man, but if he does it at the right moment. He won't step away. I watched his team play in the Saudi League. He can't step away. He can't help himself. Yeah, but that's the Saudi league. You can't tell Ronaldo to step away at the Saudi league. He was costing them more than he was helping them. Yeah, I hear you. That's what I worry about. So for me, that's the funny thing. They have to accommodate him. That's what I worry about. And as I've said, Ronaldo can put the chances away. But then when he's not putting the chances away, he can't press.

1:03:14He can't hold that play. So you're basically playing with 10. It's going to be interesting. I mean, not as interesting as Iran playing in the World Cup. A lot of people have been shocked by this because I guess they don't understand how... Special is the wrong word. Come on, you're a dictionary. What's a better word to describe Iran? Or rather like how the World Cup creates... This bubble of... It's a world... I didn't know you were going to use bubble. I also have bubble in my vocabulary. I thought you were going to give us something magical. But bubble I could have said as well. I want to show that I have the common touch.

1:03:53I speak the language of the common man. Bubble. We'll go with bubble there. Damn. I'm glad I I'm glad I deferred to you Joe No the World Cup I was trying to explain to my American friends Oh you have some as well I didn't want to mention it but I was trying to explain to my American friends why Iran is playing in the World Cup they were like but America is at war with Iran how can you the World Cup is something that goes beyond your petty grievances yes yes yes and these ideas you have of world leaders and political affiliations and yo everything stops yes during the world cup in south africa in 2010 do you know how much crime we had none plummeted yes none joe that's just when fifa comes to your country fifa takes over the country it is like being invaded yes yes by a very polite benevolent force it's a benevolent occupying force yes they come in they bring festivity and joy and immense financial pressure if we're honest to your country what people forget fifa actually enacts its own laws yes they don't come and take over the legal system yes because when someone violates any copyright, they want to try them immediately, prosecute them.

1:05:23Yes. Your legal system. It just pauses. So Iran playing in the World Cup is not as crazy as people think because Iran made it into the World Cup. But I do want to see what it'll be like when Iran is on the pitch. It'll be interesting because there's a huge Iranian diaspora in America. Yeah, but like... So... I'm with you there. Yes. I'm with you there, but... They won't be wanting for fans. Like, they'll have enough fans. Like, people will show up. Yeah, that's true, actually. But it's going to be very interesting because they were initially based in America, and then their delegation demanded that they be moved out of America.

1:06:04So they're going to be flying into America, playing the games, and then going back to Mexico. Why would they do that? They moved their base to Mexico. Why would they do that, though? They didn't want to be in America. Man, now you're cutting off your nose. No, they went like, would rather train in Mexico. Because they're playing all their games in America. Yeah, but that's, you see, you've heard that to me, like now your team is tired. You don't want to do that. I mean, we'll see what, I predict that that won't go well. No, no, but you're right. I remember in South Africa again, I was explaining to my South African friends during 2010.

1:06:38Is that me? Yes, no, I have some. I have some. When were you explaining to me? You mean South Africa when North Korea played? and people were like, oh, we didn't know North Korea is even allowed to play in the World Cup. But that's the thing. That's the special thing about the World Cup. England played Argentina in 86. Yeah. Just, I think, two, three years after they had fought over the Falklands. That's the special thing about the World Cup. Once the World Cup starts, forget your wars, forget your Easter game. They should include a new rule. If two countries are fighting and play against each other in the World Cup, Whoever wins that game wins the dispute.

1:07:17You know, that's funny because in 1998, Iran played, because Iran and the US have been mortal enemies forever. They played in 98, Iran won 2-1. They played in Qatar, which was supposed to be like the revenge game, and it turned out to be because the US won 2-1. So fingers crossed. So now this is the final rule. Yeah, fingers crossed, yeah, they meet in the knockouts. And then whoever wins, that should be the rule. Whoever wins will open up the straight of Homo's. Whoever wins, wins the Strait of Homo's. Yes, yes. It should be the truth. Now, this is sports betting now. That's high stage now. This is ultimate sports betting now.

1:07:53That should be it. Put your money where your mouth is. Who do you think would win? Iran or USA? Because Team USA, if we're honest, is not looking that great. I think Iran... Like the tools that they have. I think Iran would win simply because of the stakes. Like when... I feel like the US, when they are playing... The few times I've seen them plug in Sirhan, I don't know, it's just two times. It feels like they... Iranians know that there's more at stake than just the result. Oh, they're playing for their family. Yeah, they're playing for everything. They're playing for national pride and also like a smaller country geopolitically.

1:08:23So this means everything to them. The Americans are playing, but they're not playing the way, they don't play with the same passion they play against Mexico. If you've watched America play against Mexico, American players are really locked in. There are fights happening. When they play against Iran, it's not their right point. They don't see them. Yes, yes. That's the problem. They don't see them. Okay, so what are your predictions? Who do you think is going to win the World Cup? Let's start with the easy ones My prediction is France I say France is going to win the World Cup I would love to say France But I think history forces me not to Because no team has gone What does that mean?

1:08:57Because no team has made three World Cup finals And won two out of them So France made the final You're going to let history cock-block you? Yes, because France made the final in 2018 Won it Made the final in the last World Cup History has shown that no one has responded to you swiping rights. But that doesn't stop you. We can change that right now. Where's my phone? That doesn't stop you, Joe. We can change that right now. That doesn't stop you, Joe. Because now you forget one thing, I'm on a podcast. Exactly, Joe. Anything can happen now. And Hannes love guys on a podcast. Anything can happen.

1:09:24Women love guys on podcasts. Women are always like, oh, more of this, please. Oh, please. Give more guys mics. More guys just talking. Oh, please. We need more of this. Women are like, oh, wow. You have a microphone and you're espousing opinions that are not based in fact nor in expertise. Please, more of this. Give me more. Oh, you're going to have a great time, Joe. So forget history. What are you saying? I think Spain is going to win it. You think Spain will win the World Cup? Yes, I think Spain is too balanced. Can you do me a favor? Yes. Remove the word think. Yes. This is not about thinking.

1:09:54I firmly believe Spain is going to win it. Thank you very much. Okay, so Spain's winning the World Cup. I say France is winning the World Cup. All right, now, who do we think as a backup, a dark horse winner of the World Cup? Discounting Argentina because of Messi? I think no way. No, you can't discount Argentina. You have to choose one. No, because a team with Messi can't be a dark horse. No, they are a dark horse. No, a dark horse is one you don't expect to win. So you expect them to win. I expect Messi to reach your two-go far. Yes. No way because they have, they went through their qualifiers almost unbeaten.

1:10:25They have... Erling Haaland. Erling Haaland. They have Soloth. Yeah. They have like a very good... They have a solid team. Yeah, they have a solid team. Oscar Bob, isn't he? Yeah. Odegaard. Yeah. They have like a very... It's a solid team. Yeah, they have a very, very good team. If you can get the ball from the back to the middle to the front, you can win any game. They have a very, very good team. So I think they're the team that might surprise us the most. If you're talking about dark horses, that's a team that might go farther than we expect. Which African team do you think has the best chance?

1:10:54Wow.

1:11:00I would love to be hopeful and say maybe Ghana, but I watched their friend against Mexico. They were not. Look. Senegal? Senegal is always in there, but I don't think they have... Discipline. No, no, I think Mane is a bit older. I think they played well in the African Nations Cup, which they won under, you know, the circumstances they won in. I feel like the North African teams never go far in the World Cup. They always... Morocco had the darling run. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I think I would look at Morocco. But Morocco surprised us in Qatar because they were the surprise. I think teams are going to be Ready for them now Yes So I would go And then the other team Like DR Kong I think They would just I think I'm not thinking I'm not thinking They're making up the numbers But I'm thinking They would just hope That they have a better outing Than they did The squad cup they went in Which was 1974 And they lost so badly That their president Almost threatened To not allow them Back into the country So I hope Anything Better than that Anything better than your president going like, oh, you're going to become persona non grata will be a win for the Arco.

1:12:12Oh, man.

1:12:17As someone said, they left not with their heads held high, but at least they still had their heads. So anything better than that, I think, I think Morocco, I think Morocco and Senegal, they're the two teams that also made it to the final of the Nations Cup. Yeah, so if you're going by the form book, they have the best chance. The best chance of the not best chance havers. But I think Morocco really surprised us because they were surprised. Our teams are going to be ready for them. I'm excited, bro. This is going to be a big one. We're going to be doing the watch party. That's going to be dope.

1:12:43But also remember, there are also so many small teams. That's the thing I also love about this World Cup. There are so many small, small teams. Cape Vod, Kurakao, Uzbekistan. Are you just making up names? No, no. These are teams that are going to be playing. I feel like now you're just making up words. I think it sounds... First of all, it's Cape Town, okay? I don't know why this guy. You're just making up things. there are white people watching is a Spanish word I don't yeah but I think I think it's going to no I'm joking it's great it's great for them that's the great thing about expanding the World Cup it gives every country a chance Uzbekistan who knew are going to be at the World Cup I think it also gives Americans a chance to learn geography without invading countries because normally normally the only way Americans learn about countries is you know what I'm laughing I'm laughing because you think Americans are going to going to be watching the world cup it's at home you think americans are going to watch the curacao game i think they're going to be watching the curacao game if we do it as part of our world cup watch party i mean we'll we'll see it's going to be fun it's the perfect way for americans watch the game it's it's it's going to be fun as long as they score a lot of goals and they make it exciting here's here's what i i pitched to fifa if you want as many americans watching this as possible, you should engineer a few moments.

1:14:05So you should rig the games? No, not the games. Engineer a few moments. So like have a fight break out between two teams before a game and then have it go viral. Oh, you mean the teams and the fans? Not the fans, the teams. Have a few moments because I think that's also something that hampers soccer. Like soccer The thing that Hampers soccer In America is There aren't enough Personal storylines You see so In America they'll go It's LeBron James And the Lakers Going up against You know Shea Gildas Alexander And OKC It's like they make it A personal story They make it a thing That gets you vested We just go like Ah Curaçao Uzbekistan That doesn't get Americans Americans want to know You need a dramatic Stakes to be They want the antagonist They want Luke Skywalker And Darth Vader So Americans Got to create that they should also encourage the players to like make videos like Messi, Ronaldo.

1:15:03It'd be great if they made videos to each other. Like, let me tell you something, brother. Okay, okay, okay. I want you to understand. This might be my last World Cup, but I'm coming for you, Messi. I'm coming for you, brother. And a lot of people say that you got to be me, but you ain't got what it takes. So turn it into a bit of wrestling, WWE. Just a little bit. And I think you're going to bring the American crowd in. Here's my... And if they don't do it, I'm more than willing to do it for them. Look, I'm a huge, huge World Cup fan. But here's the thing about a World Cup held in the US. And I was just thinking about this when you're talking about how we can court more American fans.

1:15:40You know when the World Cup was held in Qatar? Yeah. There was a huge backlash. It was a controversial, controversial project. And we went like, okay, next World Cup, the host should have a proud footballing history. Because Qatar had none. Yeah. They should have a great LGBTQ record, because Qatar had none. They should have no corruption, no stench of corruption, because Qatar had a lot of that. We went like, there should be, women's rights should be respected by the next host, because Qatar clearly didn't respect human rights. And then we're like, you know what? They shouldn't have like an immigrant labor crisis.

1:16:16That's the checklist. Oh, and also we went like, okay, there should be no gun violence. There should be no, they shouldn't have a broken healthcare system. They shouldn't have systemic racism. And it should be. Okay, the next horse at least should not be a failed democracy. And what did FIFA do? FIFA chose the USA. I hope you have a green card. They had one job. And they somehow managed to pick a team with the worst record. Fighting words. I hope you don't have any international flights planned soon, buddy. But still super excited because, you know, when the World Cup starts, then all that flies out of the window.

1:16:52The moment the kickoff happens. Hey, man. That's, look, one of the biggest things about it. The soccer party begins. As soon as the FIFA World Cup kicks off, the world stops, comes together. And I don't even say this in like a cheesy way. There are few moments other than wars that bring as many people together in one spectacle. There are few moments that connect as many human beings as a World Cup. There are no moments where Kurosawa is going to be having a conversation with New Zealand, having a conversation with Iran, having a conversation with South Africa, having a conversation with Brazil, having a conversation with the United States, having a conversation with Mexico, there's no other event.

1:17:33Forget conversation. There's no other event where people from Uzbekistan are going to be trash-talking America. And that's the good thing about the World Cup. You get a chance to trash-talk. And I think our World Cup watch party is going to give fans who are not as deep into the game a very good outlet because it just won't be Well, I mean, if you're going to be there, it just won't be like if you're going to be there, even if people don't like football, if they're fans of dating apps, they've come to the right place. I'll tell you that much. Maybe that's what we should call the World Cup to America.

1:18:03Maybe that's how, that's a perfect way to describe it. It's like Coachella meets Burning Man meets you swiping right on dating apps and getting swiped right back. Not being left on red. That's to me how it feels and I'm pretty excited. You know what I'm going to do now, Joe? I'm really, really excited. I'm going to swipe left on this episode and say that it's done. This was great, man. I'll see you next week and we'll see where we go from here. It's going to be exciting. And for everyone else who's joining us, welcome to the World Cup. It's going to be a roller coaster ride of emotions. Or as they say in South America, Mundial.

1:18:38Welcome to Mundial. Welcome. Bienvenido a Mundial. All right, dope. What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by DayZero Productions in partnership with SiriusXM. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin, and Jess Hackl. Rebecca Chain is our producer. Our development researcher is Marcia Robiu. Music, mixing, and mastering by Hannes Brown. Random Other Stuff by Ryan Harduth. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next week for another episode of What Now.

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