Andrew Schulz

25:57Exactly. Because you're our guest. And it's my story right now. It is. Exactly, it's your story. It's my story. So I'll tell you my story through your curiosity about the world. Oh, I like this. I like this. So just you ask any question, we'll tell you the answer. But we started off by talking about how many wrestling matches you've been to. Yes. Right? And you were talking about as a kid. As a kid, I remember. And then you got into it again in the Attitude Era with Rock and the Rock signing. Yes. And we talked about Rock doing the voiceover of his own book. And that led us to Moana. And that led us to many different things.

26:28Yes. But so recently you've come back to being a wrestling fan. And you know how? Well, obviously you guys are on top of the world. But, and like, it's just, there are these social media accounts. I like people who love things. Like, I like people who nerd out on things. Sure, who are passionate. Yes. Yes. But like, so there's a guy, and he just, he skateboards, but he likes watching people skateboard. And he just like reacts to these videos of it. And it's just awesome. You can tell like the passion. and there's a few guys that I watch that do this with wrestling. And I feel like I'm following all these storylines through them.

27:06Through their lens. Yes. So it's like if I'm not – That's really interesting. It's awesome. And it's just like this amazing way to get into it. And then obviously doing the movie and Cody was part of the movie. Yes. Roman was part of the movie. And Cody was there for a long – Cody sent me a picture last night of you guys. Yeah. We had a great time. And he has crazy hair. Oh, it looks so cool. But you didn't have crazy hair. I had my hair down to here. I had my ponytail. See? I knew that. In the picture, it's in it. Sorry, I didn't tell you that. So yeah, they gave me a super long. They gave me extensions.

27:35It was like 20 hours worth of hair. Oh, that's brutal. Yeah, bad. I had to have face stuff put on me. Prosthetics? Prosthetics, yeah. For what? Undercover boss. That's how I got my job. Sorry.

27:54I don't know. Wait a minute. Hold on. So everybody here just believed it wasn't you? So it was the fan version. Okay. No, see, you don't have the hair on in this picture. No, I do. It's just ponytail back. Hold on. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's super, like, it's long and then it's ponytail. You can't. Yeah. Okay, yeah, but you can't tell. I mean. You can't tell. Come on. Can't tell. Come on. His hair was way crazier, way sicker. Yes, I mean. And he was hilarious. No, I would fart on set all the time, and Cody would just get freaked out by it. He just couldn't believe it. But you just kept. Yeah, he was like, why do you keep doing that?

28:32And you know Cody's a really silly guy. He likes childish humor. Right. But not farts. Don't we all? No, no, no. You needed to pull like a... No, no, no. I'm a gaseous guy. I'm very gaseous. You eat a lot of fiber? A lot of fiber. Yeah. Do you know there's fiber in a heel? Of a shoe? Foot joke, guys. Yep. You guys went heel as in a bad guy wrestling. We can't help it. And I went heels in a delicious part of the human body. You went back to the foot thing. I stayed with you. Sorry. Anyway. Too much wrestling. There's fiber in the fungus. Yeah, exactly. The fungus is the good shit. This is, sorry, bringing it back to Samantha, maybe.

29:09Oh, yeah. Oh, my undercover boss character. Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No. So I just had the prosthetics for three hours, not as long as you. But how different did it make you look? Not very. My husband said I didn't look any different. Yeah. He goes, that's you with a blonde wig and glasses. But I'm telling you, I had all this stuff done all the time. And they had to give me burn cream to remove it. Like, I didn't realize what you went through. Why would they put a forehead on you and then give you bangs? And then cover my head? Was it your nose? They, like, tried to make your nose a little bigger?

29:40So, like, from up here. But the chin you can't do, apparently. Or they couldn't do because you talked. Oh, yeah. And then it would start to peel off. Yeah. Yeah, but I went through all that and my husband was always like, it's you. Like, I don't know how anybody doesn't know that's you. So one person made me. One person did figure it out. It was this woman and I can't remember her name and I feel so bad because she was so great and I loved her. But she figured it out. Did you change voice? Yes, I had a southern accent. My grandmother is from... What do you consider your accent now? I don't know that I have an accent, do I?

30:18You have a little Midwest twang? No. Midwest? Yeah. I'm a New Englander. I know. Through and through. I know, but you have a little Midwest in you. I mean, we go a little British after a drink. Wait a minute. You do have a little bit of an accent. Really? Yeah. I don't know. I've you know. Lived a lot of lives. Do you guys not think that she has a little bit of an accent? Say no. Say no. No, right? Really? Yeah. I don't know. But not like a New England accent. I'm not like a Boston accent at all. No, not like I dropped my R's or anything. Yeah. Yeah. But my parents are both from North Carolina.

30:53My grandmother's from North Carolina. And so I did the accent sort of in her honor. Yeah. And after she watched it, she's like, what was that? And I said, my mom, that was my Southern accent. And she goes, well, it was an accent, but it wasn't Southern. I was like, thank you. Can I hear it? It's not that great. You could watch this episode. You're going to make me go YouTube this episode of Undercover Boss. No, because it was bad. If she thought it was good, I would do it. I mean, it's more fun that it's bad. I guess. Memaw. Memaw. You call her Memaw? Yeah. My brother named her because, like, grandma was too hard for him to say, so he said Memaw, and then it stuck.

31:37Yeah. Everybody, like, has a Memaw or a Memaw. It's just kind of how the kid says it because they can't quite speak yet. Yeah. My mom is ga Which is funny Because she wanted to be Grams And I guess like every grandmother Sort of wants to pick what they're called But it never comes out the way that they want Grandparents do kind of get a little Entitled with the name How did you navigate that between them? Well just you let the kids do it Oh so But sometimes the grandparents start to be I want to be Grams, I want to be Granny And so they try And they like work with the kids and like say grams, you know, and then whatever comes out is what sticks for life.

32:18My mom wanted to be Grammy because that's what her mom was to us. She's Mimi. And Mimi. Because my son couldn't say Grammy. It just became that. No. But my husband's parents are Meme and Pepe, which is consistent. Yeah. French Canadian Meme Pepe. Yeah, it's stuck. It's stuck. My dad was pop. Pretty easy. Pop worse. Pop. Yeah. Yeah. Gah and pop. Gah and pop. Yeah. Sure. They nailed meme and pepe. But not, yeah, but gah and pop. Yeah. It works. It works. You know when you get that feeling that a purchase you just made or you were about to make felt wrong or you said to yourself, I think this might be a scam.

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33:45For real. Just download Cash App, use our exclusive referral code SECURE10. That's S-E-C-U-R-E-1-0 in your profile. Send$5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get$10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That's money. That's Cash App. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, member FDIC. Promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. What do your parents like to be called? Grandma. Grandpa. Oh, well, his daughter's really smart.

34:34But does Shiloh, she's almost two, so is she saying anything? Yeah. What does she call them? She talks a lot. She's just grandma. Oh, she says grandma. Yeah, she says grandma. Oh, really? My two-year-old says mrema. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she's good at the pronunciation. I mean, she says stuff incredibly cute, you know, like pomegranate. What a strange word for her to say. She loves a bougie fruit, this girl. See, kids don't know what a pomegranate is. Isn't that crazy? That's why I knew there was a problem when my daughter said, no grapes I want pomegranate I was like we gotta move out of Tribeca immediately props I want pomegranate what's up my man how we going that was great said pomegranate three times an Asian guy walked in the room unbelievable none so yeah he calls grandma, grandpa and then my wife's parents have both remarried.

35:39So then there's K-Ma. Oh. This is for Karen. Okay. Like Karen grandma is K-Ma. That's cute. Adorable. And then Quentin is just the other. K-Ma. He doesn't get cute, pa. He just goes by his first name. He just gets your first name. He was, yeah. So you're clearly very much in love with your little girl. Which is fantastic. Are you guys going to have more kids? Yeah, God willing. God willing. And never say the name. Dude, the name thing is so funny. So weird. Because it's like people are so polite about everything except that. The baby names. They look at you like, yeah, that is a terrible name.

36:20We said one and the reaction was, you like that? That was the reaction. You like that? Well, I did like it. From who? family member. Yeah. Oh, you like that? And I was like, yeah, that's why I said it to you. Yeah, that's why we picked it. That's why we're going to name our child that for life. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Thank you. Thank you. We spend a lot of time, you know, for - That's true. That's true. When it comes to babies, you know, but God willing. God willing. God willing. God willing. God willing. Yes. Yeah, but the names are always the hardest part. His. A lot of pressure. I only ever came up with girl names.

37:01Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I had three girls. Obviously. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But the boy names were very hard to come up with. Yeah, we had a boy first, and I honestly picked it from a song on the radio. Which is pretty cool. Chase Rice was singing. So Chase. So it became Chase. I love it. But one of my friends, now he's almost six, so she's like, love the name, but just so you're aware, there's a show, Paw Patrol, that you don't watch yet because you don't have kids. The main character is Chase, and there's like a whole gimmick. Chase is on the case. Love it. This is a good thing. Well, I kind of was like, yeah, celebrity name.

37:35But I'm like, thank you. That's the name. We're not going to change it. Chase is on the case. Sometimes people do that, though. Sometimes people have a name, see the baby, and then be like, this baby is not. Yeah, we had friends who did that. They took home a Penelope, and then she became Sophie. Really? But she's totally Sophie. But birth certificate was Penelope? Yeah, I think they went through the whole process to change it. Oh, wow. Like very quickly. pain in the butt. Yeah. And why? What was not Penelope about her? Because Penelope's nickname is either Poppy or Penny. Yeah. And they're typically gingers, so.

38:12And she had blonde hair. Going back to, you know, frozen. I'm sorry. It was a moment. It wasn't Elsa. It was. Yeah, it was a real Elsa. Yeah, and she just, they kept saying, like, I know this seems bizarre, but she's not a Penelope. She's not a Poppy or a Penny. Like, they just felt it. No peas. I mean, yeah. but she's Sophie now. And your other kid? Liv. Liv. Olivia? Just Liv. Just Liv. Love the nickname as full name. Yes. Just Liv. Love that. L-I-V. And love short. Oh yeah. Darked. Last name's pretty long so like. Dudzinski. Dudzinski. Yes. If you could say Dudzinski. Yeah. I used to do a joke about this but you would have thought at like Ellis Island we would have condensed that a little bit.

38:59Do you know what I mean? Like, you would have thought that there was a guy. Duds is a good. Yeah, Duds. So that's the thing. Like, my husband who I met in college was Duds. Duds is a great last name. Yeah, Duds is cool. Live Duds. Duds. Yeah. That's cool. That sounds like wrestling. Right? I'm not going to lie. Live Duds. Live Duds. Live Laugh Duds was also. And Chase Duds. Yeah. Yeah. Chase Duds. The Duds is. The Duds is. Duds. Anyways.

39:30I feel like a wine mom right now. Where's the Pinot Gris, girls? We should, right? No, no, red wine. You like red? So we've done what? Blackberry, what was it? Oh, yeah. Blackberry what? Brandy. Brandy. Blackberry brandy. And tequila, you rang the bell. We didn't drink it, though. We didn't drink the tequila. Well, we did later. You motherfuckers. What is this? You guys would drink it while you're doing the tequila? the pod? Well, the Blackberry Brandy only because Hornswoggle. Do you know who Hornswoggle is? That sounds sexy. Dylan Postal. Not. Hornswoggle? Yes. What is that? He played a WWE superstar.

40:12He played the leprechaun that lived under the ring. He's actually my stepbrother. Is that right? Allegedly. Allegedly. Yeah. Yeah. But so at any rate, when he was growing up, he loved Blackberry Brandy. He's from Wisconsin. Got it. Oshkosh, Wisconsin. We interviewed two people from Oshkosh. Yeah, within weeks of each other. Oshkosh, like the overalls. It's the only thing I would wear as a kid. Yeah. No, it started a whole thing. I would throw a fit if I didn't have Oshkosh bagosh on. Yes. Yeah. But they're annoying, the snaps. Yeah, those are hard as a kid. When you sit down, they come undone all the time.

40:49And your shoulder strap falls off. It was always such a pain. I remember those. Yeah. Yeah. But they're a great brand. Amazing brand. Amazing brand. Amazing brand. And if you want to take a shit as a kid, it's just boom. But yeah, it's quick. It's quick. Yeah. Yeah. But you have to be careful with the straps. I was still going in a diaper at that time, I think. But you were picking out your overalls? Yeah, I was picking out the overalls, but I wanted that diapy. Yeah. I wanted diapy until late. Just got in like peeing in the night. I remember asking my parents at like five or six. I was like, yo, run one of them diapers for me.

41:22I'm good. What happened? Oh, yeah. This is me in the Oshkosh. And it's also the My Buddy doll, which. Were you trying to look like that or. I came first. So we think. They modeled that after you. They modeled the My Buddy. But that's the male My Buddy doll. Wow. With the haircut. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And you're sure that's you. Yeah. That's me. Got it. Okay. What was Shane wearing? The yellow pair?

41:52Shane was getting the hammy ups. Is that? Yeah. I mean, Shane was cool. He had the style. I can't remember what he said. Bring back that picture, man. Bring back that picture. This is amazing. Yeah, it's great. Wow. I mean, even down to the shirt. I really do think that they modeled this doll after me. It's the same fucking outfit. It's the same. This is unbelievable. Except mine was a dress. Oh, yeah. Okay, I can see that. Yeah, mine was a dress. You had an overall dress. I did. I'm telling you. I was high styling. Well, yeah. That's an insane combo right there. It is. That's just an apron for a kid.

42:28That's the 80s is what that is right there. This is how you get women to cook early. It didn't work. Make everything an apron. It didn't work. Can you cook? Wait, you can cook? Well, I can cook now, but I couldn't cook for a long time. Oh, I thought you were saying you couldn't. No, I was, and then you jumped on it. I was offended. So you can? I had your back instantly. No, I can now. I don't think you can. I'm not going to lie. Oh, very well. Well, during COVID, I had to learn, so. It was the visceral reaction that made me go, there was a point in time where you couldn't cook. Yes. And you had to self-correct.

43:01So I'll tell you, my husband and I were having our garage done. Yes. And this guy's like, oh, we'll do this for your tool bench and all this stuff. And I started to laugh because my husband's not a handy guy. He's not doing all that stuff. Yeah. And he stops and he looks at me and he goes, what? There are pots and pans in the kitchen. That's great. I was like. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. And the next day she started cooking. Yeah, no. My wife, we were getting our place redone, and there were some fireplaces in it, right? Multiple? My old house that had to keep warm in every room type of thing.

43:39Not like we wanted fireplaces in every fucking room. You just have a thing for fireplaces? No, it was just freezing, and then people needed fire to stay warm back in the day. Makes sense. Yeah. And all right. So and my my wife in front of me tells the contractor like, OK, like, well, I need you to teach Andrew how to start a fire because he doesn't know how to start a fire. And how old were you? I was my age now. OK. This was last week. And I remember just looking at my wife like I would rather burn the whole fucking house down than this guy teach me how to make a fire in front of my family. Like, there's no way in hell.

44:14Why? Because it's like not a manly thing. Like, I should know how to start a fire. I thought you were talking about a childhood home with many fireplaces. No, I was talking about, like, our place. Okay. But, like, we go for the summer. But that's kind of beautiful, though. It's beautiful until I have to call. Excuse me, would you mind coming over, Chris, and starting a fire so my wife can respect me? Did you really, you really don't know how to make a fire? I mean, with fire, I can make it. Like, I can turn fire into more fire. I mean, you're not, like, you know, with stones. No, I'm not Native American-ing it.

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45:32That's S-T-E-P-H, the number one, the number zero, at checkout. Can I tell you another important step that I had to learn the hard way? You got to open the top of the chimney. Oh, yes. That's very, very important. Turns out if you don't do that, the smoke stays in the house. It does. It backs up. That's a really important thing that people should tell you about fires. I didn't even know that you could close the chimney. You know what that's called, right? The valve. Well, the flu is how I always do it. Also the flu. Yeah. And it was actually never called the valve. I just call it that right there.

46:02And that's why my wife is asking some random guy to make a fucking fire. I'm like, I even knew that. Yeah, I'm not built for the outdoors. I'm not built for. So we have a gas fireplace. Okay. Do you. We love it. Does it look like. Yes. Like is it behind a glass? No. Or does it look like an actual fire. That's fine. The one that's behind the glass. You know, I agree. I don't. Plus, I feel like you're going to burn yourself. Yeah. Doesn't the glass get hot? Is the kid going to put his hand. Exactly. Exactly. No, no. When you have kids, you got to. Yeah. I have like a thing and it's locked. So. Yeah.

46:37Does the. Are the logs that are in there. Look real. They look real and you can just turn it on, light it. And it's warm. It provides the heat. And even we have a gas fireplace outside. No, that's fine. We have a gas fire pit and it's awesome. And you flip the button and it comes on and you can roll some marshmallows. Yeah, we did this fire pit, but you need logs for it. It's a big pain. I'm not carrying wood in the year 2025. That is the annoying part of real fire. just for some perspective we just put in a fire pit a fireplace stocked with real wood that we have to carry from the front it sounds good in theory now it's all in the backyard stocked and when you carry it and then you get the splinters all over yourself and I'm like Rye we need more wood and then if it rains and the wood's outside it takes forever for the wood to dry it's like Yellowstone looks good for an hour a week I'm telling you it's a button I'm into the button shit We're good with that And AC all the stuff On the phone I don't have it on my phone I don't understand how to work technology I have a glitch What does that mean?

47:52It means it doesn't work for me It doesn't work for just you It's real It's a real thing no matter where I go Technology doesn't work for you Yeah it glitches What does that mean? what's an example of this this is always the same comment god this is so weird this never happens whatever the tech is I was in a studio the other day with a motion capture that just suddenly stopped working and I'm like oh that's me let me go over here and it started working it's a real thing do a presentation for a room of people and I'm the assistant at the time I brought IT in we've prepped we press the button everything works I leave everyone sits down and she goes to press it and she's like, Elise.

48:39I'm like, I'd come in, touch it, it works again. Like the IT guy would just stay because it became... You could even interview our head of IT. They would tell you they didn't believe it at first and then it became a real thing. Do we have to do like an MRI of you? Except that she did but the machine stopped working. Literally, right? Wasn't that? Did you do full body scan? We need to do full body scan. We need to see what's going on in there. I thought it was a photograph when it did. Yeah, no, no, no. Oh, they did actually have trouble getting it working. It was the treadmill or something. Yeah.

49:13That's what it was. Yeah. No, no, it was the motion capture. Oh, okay. See? Same thing. What was this motion capture for? It was for body movement, health, health and fitness. Oh, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it. Make sure that all your joints and stuff are working. Like how you're actually moving. Yeah, in the world. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. And you couldn't learn anything from it? No, I did once it started working. And? You okay? Yeah, no, I'm great, but I have to, like, do things a certain way. You know, what do you need to shore up? Like, what areas? All that good stuff.

49:45Why? Are you messed up? Yeah. You got some injuries? No, I mean, I'm just messed up. I know. I'm like, I'm not talking about emotionally. Going back to the life, you know. Physically. It's all there. It's part two. No, I mean, who isn't physically messed up by the time they, you know. I'm falling apart, bro. Come on. Like, once you start to age, forget it. Yeah. Yeah. You hit 40 and it's like It's all downhill Not even all the pee comes out when I pee No I know it's like a thing Are you too? It's crazy Right? It's like I'm pushing it Right And then I stop And then I'll put it away Right And then it begins again But when it's away When it's away Oh that's problematic It waits for it to be away But like a little dribble or a lot Enough where it's like Uncomfortable In public someone looks at me like Did you just pee in your pants?

50:34So that's a significant amount. That's more than a dribble. But sometimes, depending on the color of the pants. Yeah. You're wearing light pants today. I'm holding it in. I'm holding it in until after Raw, and then I'll go take my pee. Or can you just hang out over the... I do it. I do the shake. I do all the things. It's just a little bit is waiting. There's a little five-hour energy waiting. and then the second I sit my pants, it goes. It's a glitch. I'm glitching. Yeah. No, for real. You have a physical glitch. I have a physical glitch. But I have heard of this, though, with other men. With other men, yeah.

51:12Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do they say about it? No, I've just heard of it. It's not an unusual thing, I don't think. Yeah, that's what I say. Yeah, no, I mean, I haven't heard of the marking of the pants so much. The peeing of your pants. Maybe they, like, actually just don't go into that much depth. But I have heard that there's like a dribble effect and like a latent. It's more of a dribble. I might be, you know, being a little hyperbolic here. I don't want anybody to be concerned about me. Okay, but you're good. I'm okay. I think we bring back the pull-up. I mean, it's impossible. That's a good point.

51:41We could do the pull-ups. Did you have a pull-up? No, no, no. Because you said the diapy that made me think. I like a diapy. Yeah, but not a pull-up diapy. They do make them, I mean, for older people. I want to get laid on my back and I want to have that shit Velcroed on. No, okay. You want to be able to rip it off? Wipe me. Wipe me, please. The life, dude. This is the promo clip.

52:07For sure. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. That is, yeah. I guess that is kind of funny. Now that you think about it. My daughter and I both peeing ourselves. Yeah. That's, yeah, you got to wait until you're older to have kids so that you and your daughter can both be peeing your pants together. Yeah, yeah. And if you're a woman after you have children. Oh, you know I've done that. Just in case we need to do a different podcast later, guys. No, they did. They just switched the mics out because John Cena had to do the Raw Recap podcast. Oh, okay. So he like popped in here. They switched out the mic cubes. I love it.

52:42And now we're back. I love it. I love it. We're back. Wait, you were saying no? But I did like hit the mic with my face the other day. But you're okay. Everything's okay. Yeah. No, everything's good. No, you were saying women, something happens to them? Oh, yes. After you have kids. Yeah. What? Depends on how they... Your pelvic floor can be compromised. You shit yourself a lot? Not shitting. The peeing. Oh, oh, man. Don't jump on a trampoline. Don't, because you'll pee? Yeah. Depends, though. Well, it depends on the woman and how many kids and everything. They come up the sunroof. Oh, yeah, that's also true if you have a C-section.

53:13Oh, yeah, if you get a C-section. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I didn't, and so... You squeezed them out, all three? All three. Wow. All three. What was that like? Well, can you bring up the video? Yeah, what was that like? You know, I got the epidural. You got the epidural, yeah. You still got to push. It's not like it's easy. It's still not easy, that is for sure. But yeah, they got easier. So the first one was really hard because your body has to figure out what you're doing. Don't say it. I see you. No, I'm not. I'm just wondering why did it get easier? Because your body gets used to it. Your body knows to open up.

53:53It knows what to do after. Because it's not trying to open up on the first one. It's like, what are we doing? Yeah, we don't let shit leave. What is happening here? Yeah, the body is very confused. But then the body knows now it's time to get out. Yeah, now the body knows. By the third kid, like a minute. I could have done one push. Get out of here. I'm not even kidding. Do you shit yourself when you do it? Sometimes women do that. No, the first baby I did, yeah. It was terrible. I was so embarrassed. This is actually the social clip. And what do they do? Do they wipe you while you're pushing the baby out?

54:24Yeah, I mean, all of a sudden, like, you're... Is the baby just coming out to a full shit? You're pushing with everything. So were you not present? I was. Did your wife shit? Did you black out? No. It was C-section. Oh, okay. It was C-section. Oh, okay, which is also horrifying. You're standing up behind. Did you see any of that? Oh, I didn't see anything. And then I went to go hold the baby, and I turned around, and it was like Vietnam. Yeah. It's horrifying. It was horrifying. I remember asking my husband, like, did you look? Because I had two C-sections. And he's like, if it wasn't you, I might have looked.

54:51But I don't want to see all your insides out. Their insides are out. You take the insides out. Completely. It was gnarly. Yeah. I didn't have that. But no poop. No poop, though. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean. But the poop is interesting, though. It's terrible. It's embarrassing. I threw up and I pooped. Did you feel the poop come out as you were pushing? No, but I smelled it. and I was like oh my god did I just poop and they're like yes it's fine don't worry just keep going keep pushing because they tell you they tell you to bear down like you're having a bowel movement and that's what they say. Was Paul there?

55:27Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh well Jerry saw it yeah no he didn't say anything about that. Okay but was he like in the in the catching position? So not in the catching for our third he caught our third. Right right right. I Literally, he caught our third baby. Respect. Yeah. But he was behind you for this one. No, I gave him the option. And what did he say? I said, hi, Steve Braband. Hey, bro. Well, you're coming into a good part. Talking about the birth of her daughter. Welcome. Yeah. We didn't say pomegranate three times, but. She shit herself. Cue Braband. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, you were saying.

56:03So, yeah. So. But what do they do with it? That's what I'm trying to say. No, no, no. I don't know. It was all taken care of. They just leave it there? No, they got to clean it up. I'm sure they like unsanitary. So there's somebody that comes in. There's like a. No, you have a team of people down there. Right. It was mine. Yeah. Elise. There's only one person that can wipe me. I didn't want to tell you the nastiest thing. Elise, come here with the wipes now. Put on the desitin. Put on the desitin in the aquaphor. I don't want to chase. I don't want to typey rash, Elise. And so I did it That is That's how you become And you know what You're right I don't pay her not to You do need a raise For real If you want a full circle Moment there Was it chunky Was there corn in there No no I didn't see it Oh she saw it Yeah she saw it Not really She was looking at you like Yo do you even chew It's a full cliff bar in here What the fuck is going on Well I mean they don't let you eat in the delivery room.

57:08There wasn't much in it. It was more like an Italian ice. You got to get hungry. They let you have Italian ice. That's actually what I threw up. It was the Italian ice. How long was labor, first one? Like a good 12 hours. Is so much adrenaline happening that you don't get hungry? You don't feel great. I'm just saying, that's a long time ago without eating. When I was on the epidural, like before the real strong laboring process. Yeah, I was hungry. So I had the Italian ice and I wish I didn't. Because boom. Because it came right back out. Yeah, game time. It's a lot of intense pushing. Yeah. Yeah, clearly.

57:48Yeah. Yeah. But so I gave Paul the option of where he would stand because he asked me and I said, honey, if watching is going to throw off our relationship in any way, then I'd prefer you not. You could be back up at my shoulder. It's your call. And he took that one. He took that one. No, he was watching. Yeah, he was like, I'm going to take you by the shoulder. But I think he was very supportive and he was very excited, especially as things were progressing. And he was an amazing coach. Him and my mom. Mom was there too? Yeah. Oh, that's kind of cool. For all three. Yeah. My two life coaches, my mom and my husband.

58:27My mom wiped the poop. No, I'm kidding. Don't take that from me. Involve it in there, Steph. Oh, that's fire. It's great shit. It is. Guys, listen, it's vulnerable, fellas. It is. It's vulnerable. It is. It's hard. Yeah. It's hard for us. It is. It's hard for us to watch you go through that. Those hospital beds that you have to sleep in are... It's brutal. Chair? Brutal. It's never big enough. The charger is far from the couch. Yeah, you gotta get the 10-foot cord. 10-foot cord only. Yeah. You know, having to leave you to go hang out with the boys for a drink or two is difficult. It's challenging.

59:10Because I need to be charged up so I can support you. Of course. Right? Of course. Pretty sure my husband just brought drinks into the hospital. Oh, we did that. Mine doesn't drink. That's illegal. Did you know that's illegal? Really? Yeah. You can't bring alcohol into a hospital. You don't think some of the staff has, like, alcohol? Oh, there's some real whores on the staff. Yeah, right? 100%. They're sneaking all types of stuff. Sex in the staircase. I mean, I've seen Grey's Anatomy. And also the sound, it's so loud in there, you don't know what's fucking or a baby coming out. Like you have no clue.

59:38Crazy sounds. Like animal noises. Yes. So you don't know what's happening. And there's sweaty nurses, blood everywhere. Right? What's it really from? You don't know. But everybody's clean, at least. That's the thing. Everybody in that hospital. A little poop on the uniform sometimes. But whatever. Whatever. And what's it really from? I'm just saying. If you didn't shit yourself, did you push hard enough? That's what I'm saying. That's the question. Are you really giving it your all? Right. If we take one thing. Are you really giving it your all if you didn't shit yourself? If we take one thing away from today.

1:00:10That's the thing. That's it. You know? Yeah. So if you go for number three. Fuck. Are you thinking number three? No. She just keeps saying it. Oh, I know. I'm sorry. I don't mean to actually do that. You keep putting it out there. You're putting a lot of pressure on her? No. No. I can't even handle two kids. Yeah, but that's what everybody. Doesn't everybody. No, no. Two to three is when it gets unmanageable. Because you don't have one more adult. Like right now it's... It's zone coverage. No, it's hard no matter what. I don't care how many you have. But like two to three is a bigger jump than one to two or no.

1:00:46Except my husband was on the road all the time. That's my favorite thing. It's like we're on the road every weekend. And we're like, guys, it's so hard having a kid. It's like I literally have to sleep until 12 p.m. Thursday through Sunday. It's unbelievable. And he was willing to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby. But then if you're breastfeeding, you have to be up anyway. You have to be up anyway because you have to pump. Otherwise, it's very painful. Yeah. Yeah. It's just a whole thing. That pumping thing is brutal. It is. Do you like the machine? Has the machine evolved? I'm the machine.

1:01:16I mean. How do y 'all do it? How do you guys? I do it the old fashioned way. My wife and I were in a, we went on like the first, a first little getaway and ended up being like, we should never have done it. But we tried to go on a trip like for two days without our daughter. And how old? Like 13 months?

1:01:4010 months or something like that. Okay, so not quite a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, we should have done it. No? We should have done it. No, no, no. Because of the pumping? Yeah, like, I don't know if my wife's been away from the baby for a whole day since. It was just scary. It was hard for us to get pregnant. It's hard. And the first time you're away is a big deal. But something happened where the pump couldn't extract. Like she got really coagulated or something like that. Oh, no, that's not good. Yeah. I know. It's very painful. So you had to go to town. The boy had to step in. And I had to suck that out.

1:02:13Spit it out? Spit it out. That's liquid gold. Are you kidding me? Were you spitting it into a bottle? Spit it out. No. Suck it out, spit it into the bottle. I'm swallowing. I'm swallowing. And his stash. Alex, I'm swallowing. Alex, what was I thinking right there? Alex, what was I thinking, man?

1:02:36He's going to be inspired to paint later. Because it's corrupted once it's hitting your saliva. No, it's true. I got food in my mouth and shit. But I remember just, I remember breaking the seal. Wow. This is real. It was locked in. I just remember getting at that titty and just fucking. In the face, all the milk. No, no, it didn't. It doesn't rush out or anything. But it was a clot. It looked like. There was a real clot. It was like a wheel of cheese. Sucked it out like a kidney stone. And then you swallowed it. Honestly, that might have just been like a seed from something I had for lunch. I don't think it was related at all.

1:03:18But it felt like it was related. I've always wondered about the wives of comedians. Yeah, she's going to hold this. She's going to lose it. She's going to hold this right here. You know what? Fuck this show. You can put it down. Do they need us? Hold on. Well, listen, we're with the boss, so I don't know what to tell you. Which is funny. What? Wait, what time is it? Did you tell them we're still doing the pod? What time? Yeah. No, this is incredibly important. How long have we been going? Man. Did we get the Giants? Are they going to be part of it or what? Wait, I'm texting them right now. But did the rest of them, are they going to be in it?

1:03:55That's a fun little segment. Yeah. This is like a tease. Like the NFL. But that's all right. What's that? We'll do it again. Yeah, I am. Who is she? Did you text your hubby? Yeah. She's like, I'm telling him about the time I shit myself giving birth. If we could have a few more minutes. This is a wine bomb pod today, okay? We're talking about parenting. Imagine if we did have wine. I know. You need to get in there. So the next episode, we should all be in our comfy cozies with a glass of wine. I want to do this with alcohol. Yes. And I want us to just get shit-faced. I want to be talking crazy stories about the kids.

1:04:36I'll get videos. We can't show baby, but I'll show you guys. Right, right. I mean, just going crazy. Learning curse words real early. Yes. Yes. I mean, it's my favorite. do you want to go to the park fuck the park

1:04:56he's not answering he knows he knows how to play this game he knows what that text is about he's just busy so now she's calling now I'm calling I'm trying does the audience know it's happening hold on let me text his assistant that she's calling him so they know what time is doors oh shit he's got to go yeah you got it we got to go bye guys thank you so much we're coming back though next time we do it with wine when you're back in the city deal alright