John Cena - Part 1

24:12We all have to get through. For me, it's just to end every day fulfilled and know that every day doesn't have to be a win. But when, like, growth through failure, when the day is not a win, don't waste it. Make sure you ask yourself why.

24:32Steph McMahon:That's such an interesting thought because I was going to go back to the growth through pain kind of concept and where you have experienced that, where you feel comfortable sharing. Sure. Two friends talking, whatever you want to. Yeah, but other than the very big feeling of, wow, I'm not the person I was at this time and who am I now? And what are some of the other moments in your life? and more importantly, how did you get past them? Where it was growth through discomfort. What are some other examples of that? This was, again, this was just after the year 2000. So the world isn't as connected.

25:18The base of health and fitness was certainly in Southern California. And regardless of where equipment was manufactured, kind of all roads led through Los Angeles, primarily through Venice. and man I went out there when other kids took spring break to Cancun I went to Venice to do like a scouting report and as soon as I landed I was like man this place is great they have restaurants that serve like healthy food and everybody's into health and fitness I'd never been in such a place in the world where that lifestyle was so widely accepted and I always kind of felt like an outcast. So I was like, yo, I need to get back there.

25:58And moved with very little money and very little means. But like, stayed with a friend and then slept in my car and then moved into a garage in Venice, which was fun. And then like, shared a room with my brother.

26:12Steph McMahon:No AC in the garage, though. No, of course not. Who cares? Again, who cares? I literally could walk to the gym every day. like I walked home from work every day I went from sleeping in the parking lot to actually walking home from work then I split a room with my brother Matt where I gave him the bed and I slept on the couch and then you guys were lucky enough to take a chance on me so then I moved to Inglewood right by the Intuit Dome which was awesome because I got to start the farewell tour being like yo I started right two blocks and I geocided the Intuit Dome it was like literally three blocks as well I used to live and I just want to make sure that people know like I'm very proud that I did that.

26:53But I had my dad invited me to come back home. I had a roof over my head. I would have been taken care of. I did it by choice. There's a lot of folks out there. Again, we all go through struggles that don't have that luxury and don't have that choice. And those were some of the greatest times when I look back on memories because it was so simple.

27:13Steph McMahon:But it's still a huge risk. Yes, you had support. You had a place you can go. You had things that other people don't necessarily have at that time. Yeah. Right? It was an opportunity that you seized. But how did you take the risk and to put it all on the line? Like, were you completely supported going out there? Were your parents like, yes, this is a great idea. Go live out of your car? No, no. But they weren't, you know, I think my dad might have been against it. He had like the famous quote that I always say is like, oh, you'll never last two weeks. I don't know if it was like truth or genius.

27:55If it was his way to be like, I know you don't like me so much right now. And if I say this to you, you'll never be back. And that'll be great. Or he was serious.

28:05Steph McMahon:Or as a way to motivate you. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. But I don't. But that's what he would say. You won't last two weeks. No, that's what he did say. Over and over. Was that a common. That was kind of like, I'm really going to do this. I'm graduating in May, like May 25th. I got a flight booked on the 27th. So he's like, that's in a few days. You're not going to last two weeks. And then I was like, all right, later. Where'd you get the car if you flew out there? I got it out there. They sell cars in Southern California. I don't know if you know this. I'm assuming you had like a car that you drove across.

28:40No, not at all. I landed with Joy. That's it. Two duffel bags, fill the clothes and 500 bucks.

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30:01Steph McMahon:You'll find it in the show notes. There's a 30-day money-back guarantee. No risk, just secure browsing. One of the things I hope to accomplish with this show is to encourage people, right, to take calculated risks. Why is that so important to you? Because I love people and I've had a lot of conversations, especially with a lot of young people and people my age and people older, but who are looking for something. And I think if you can help, you know, just any little bit, that that's what life's about. You know, I believe in helping people as much as you can, if you can, even if that's just listening to them.

30:49Steph McMahon:Even if that's just smiling at somebody that you don't know. My favorite thing in the world is smiling at a little kid walking by and they smile back. That's like the greatest feeling. I mean, simple things are what it's all about. And I think that's what you learn. If you learn, the longer you live, it's, it's not about the material stuff. It's about the stuff that matters most. And, you know, I almost lost Paul, my husband. And what's weird, and I haven't talked about it is, uh, I always had a feeling that I was going to lose him early. I just had that feeling. And after we got through everything, that feeling went away.

31:37No kidding.

31:38Steph McMahon:Yeah. It's like a pattern that was supposed to happen changed. And it was, I mean, such a gift, truly. And then I started going through all this stuff in the company, and I realized there is nothing more important to me than my family, than my husband and my kids, and that's what matters most. And I want to give as much time as I possibly can. I've given everything I possibly have to the business, you know, and my whole life. And I wanted to give back to them. And that's when I took that first leave of absence, which didn't last very long. But I knew what mattered. And I know what matters now.

32:29and I believe that love is what life is all about and if you can help somebody in any way

32:37Steph McMahon:I think that that that is what it's all about you know it's about giving back um and I've I've had a lot of blessings in my life and I consider myself very very very very very very very blessed. And I'm so grateful. And any amount that I can give back, that's, you know, that's what I want to do if I can. You know, I'm not certainly not perfect. I'm sure I've hurt people's feelings along the way. I'm sure I've said something to somebody. But that's what I love about. Yeah. That's what I love about about doing this. And so I like when you think about very successful people, however you define success, what have they gone through and how did they overcome it?

33:23Steph McMahon:Because those life lessons are helpful for people. They're entertaining, hopefully, you know, in terms of the stories that you're telling, but they're real life lessons. You know, taking calculated risks, never giving up, hustle, loyalty, respect, all of these things that I believe are intrinsic to you as a person that you then put through your character. And you can correct me you know where I'm wrong but those core values and and those life lessons you know uh grow through discomfort that's a really important lesson that people don't necessarily know because of whatever reason life paints a rosy picture social media is all about whatever but that you grow through the hard times yeah and that you have to challenge yourself to rise to the occasion and meet the moment.

34:17Steph McMahon:I'm a little bit different. I wake up in the morning and I say, okay, you've got to earn your day. That's great. Yeah, I'm not earning my sunset, but it's the same thing. It's the same thing. Same thing. There's a day in front of you. When the sun goes down, how are you going to feel fulfilled with what happened today? Yep. And that doesn't happen every day. And the days that it doesn't happen, I'm just saying I don't waste that day. I'm like, ah, I don't feel right. Why? And then that can be a level of discomfort because that's sometimes a hard question to ask because you have to be critical of yourself.

34:53But it can help get you on the right track.

34:56Steph McMahon:Is it ever okay to be lazy and Netflix and chill and eat a lot of pizza and ice cream? Sure is.

35:06because I think it's okay to kind of explore most anything you'd want as long as you are accountable for that expedition.

35:18Steph McMahon:Can you explain? How are you going to realize what you do and don't love in life? You said my family, my husband, my kids, and my family there, that's my life. I think a lot of things led to you to get to that destination that's just my perspective I think one of the things was the thing that you shared about almost having lost a piece of that puzzle and that made you realize like oh more of my energy needs to go here I was running on this treadmill at full speed and doing excellent but when I took a strong look at myself wasn't really making me happy as a matter of fact I'm a little confused these are the things that make me happy now you're faced with a choice I'm gonna have to or I want to give more time to the things that make me happy I have to be accountable for giving less time to the thing that I may or may not be identified as and that's okay like I don't we don't view this necessarily the saying I don't talk about or I don't talk in context of like I've been through all this stuff I've gotten to go through all this stuff privilege all of it mm-hmm and as long I think the biggest missed step I would have is if there was an instance that happened where I couldn't take accountability and I didn't learn anything I'm if you sat with me we were just talking with Nikki off camera about how I dressed looked and act acted in 2006 if you had sat with John Cena then I would be in I did pull you which you did not only did you sit with you pretty much created I would be in Reebok pumps polo cargo shorts probably a Michelin Ness basketball tank top a brand new fitted hat two hundred fifty thousand dollars worth of diamonds and we would be talking about stuff different mm-hmm But at that time, I was also trying to debut an album, living a life that I never thought was possible, and those things were my why.

37:29I am, if you ask me what I was born to do, my response in 2006 would be, I am a WWE superstar. It is what I was born for. That's, at 48, that's not why I was born. And it's okay, no, it's not. I mean, like the forever question of why are we all here? That's some real deep stuff. We're so insignificant. Like, honestly, none of it matters. We're logging all this stuff. There's people giving their time and effort. None of it matters. It's finding beauty in that and then being okay with it and making those things significant. making a conversation between two friends a meaningful experience. I'm so looking forward to today.

38:20Like we, you have been in my life and involved in my life in places where I needed you. You've told me exactly what I needed to hear. You're responsible for a lot of like those checks and balances of if I ever thought I might be getting a little too big for my britches, man, you gave me a nice right cross to the face without you ever knowing it. But in the same vein of you wanting to spread happiness and joy, when I really needed somebody to be like, awesome. And I'm happy for you. When I was able to have a shed of vulnerability and share things with you specifically. And we've known each other for a lot of times.

38:55We haven't had many like hangs. We haven't. It's brief. It's like a little flashes. But man, we're talking about a bunch of stuff. But that also, it doesn't need to be quantity of time. As long as it's quality. You have been a mentor in my life with all the things that you shared and allowed me to learn from. Every single thing you said, I've never not learned from. And some of those have been comments of reinforcement, and some have been criticism. And I've learned from all of them. But I just, I don't want to parade my struggle because I don't view it as a struggle. I view it as a blessing. and if your show is meant to encourage people,

39:44man, what I've learned is you can say to somebody that life is a gift until you're blue in the face. I've learned that if you surround yourself with folks who want to be awesome and look at life half full and have joy and fulfillment in their life but are also curious and they want to never stop learning and growing and are able to lean into discomfort and address the little fires before they come infernos that's a that is a at least a conducive petri dish for you to be a better you than you were yesterday because you also don't do it in a day you move a millimeter forward in a day and you may move 10 yards back the next day and have to move a millimeter and a millimeter and millimeter it is it's a it is this it is a slog it's coming in and doing an exercise like a parallel squat or a deadlift for 35 fucking years i started lifting when i was 12 like i've never stopped period no off season no time off but i love it i love the repetitive how

40:59Steph McMahon:Where did you find it? I was getting bullied. And I was like, man, I don't want to. With all your brothers, you were getting bullied? Yeah, well, fighting with your brothers is a lot different than like social interaction. A lot of folks I've talked to with extended families, the sentiment of, and this isn't a blanket statement, but just my experience, I can make fun of my brother. Right. But if you ever fucking say anything about him, holy shit, it's on. So there is a difference between conflict with kin and what society thinks of you. And as a young mind, I was getting really put through the ringer for how I looked and how I acted.

41:45I didn't look like everybody else. I didn't act like everybody else.

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42:40Steph McMahon:So which moments will you collect? With each card only available for a limited time, you won't want to wait to begin your Topps Now journey. Be sure to subscribe to the WWE Topps Now mailing list on Topps.com and follow Topps on all social media platforms so you never miss a single moment. How did you look different? Well, children of the same generation. I grew up in a small town in northeastern Massachusetts that was pretty much 99.9 % white. They listened to like hairband metal, rock and roll. It was a farm town. So like jeans and flannels, they drove trucks. I don't fault anybody for living that way but like this was also the crest of rap music which eventually became hip-hop and as a young person who necessarily was rebellious towards their parents and I idolized my cousin who was two years older than me and he lived in a little bit more of a metropolitan area so he would hang out with city kids and there was more of a rap influence and then on weekends I would hear rap music for the first time and hear curse words and Who's the first artist you fell in love with?

43:54I just, I remember specifically all the stuff that I wasn't supposed to listen to. Like Two Live Crew from Miami, NWA from the West Coast, even Slick Rick, Eric B and Rakim. Heck, the two first CDs I got were the Fat Boys and the Beastie Boys, License to Ill and Crushing. And this was like 1985.

44:19Steph McMahon:fat boys was one of my first two salt and pepper also yes yes so it like right at this wave where this new art form i i can only like everything in history has already happened i can only imagine this is what parents thought about when like elvis came out sure and like rock music came out to be like you can't act like this you can't dance like this you can't dress like this and then the wave of the 60s and like whatever sure i went through my patch and because i was the one kid in an area who really connected with this as a rebellious way to say you to my parents i embraced everything like the rayon polka dot mc hammer pants the high top fade so like i was the only person who looked like that.

45:06And compounding interest, my brother Steve was a nerd and he was in high school and like it's a small town so like the junior high is here, the high school is here, they line the buses up. My bus happened to be here so I have to walk through all the high school kids. They just got done making fun of my brother. Boy, am I an easy target. There's a kid in turquoise polka dots with the high top fade. Fuck off, kid. So it was just, it was just kids being kids.

45:32Steph McMahon:But you had to know you were going to stir people up being so different? I don't know. Because, like, again, I grew up in a farming town. My next-door neighbors were acres away. Right. So, like, it was just the five of us. And we were all so eccentric and different. I didn't really understand. I didn't. And I just thought, like, yeah, just be what you want. It's cool. Right. And it wasn't until like 12, 13 where it was like, oh, I kind of need to fall in line. Because we didn't beat each other up at like 8, 9, and 10 when I was in Little League with my friends and started participating in more of like, I guess, community activities.

46:16But it was kind of just the five of us until like 9 or 10.

46:22Steph McMahon:And so you got bullied. Yeah, yeah. And how did you handle that? So I was like, man, I don't want to learn how to fight. but if I make myself stronger, maybe they'll leave me alone. Uh, cause diplomacy sure ain't working. Um, did you get beat up? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but not, nothing to be like, um, karate kid, mom, I hate the stupid bike. I just want to go home. Right. Yeah. Uh, you weren't left laying. No, not at all. Could always get up. Yeah. Uh, also an important lesson. Uh, yeah, sure. I mean, man, every, Every moment, you can make something out of every moment. I can. And then my grandfather finally convinced my dad to get me a weight set for my 12th Christmas gift.

47:12And it was an awesome one. It was a Weider weight bench with, like, all the attachments. So it had, like, the leg extension, leg curl, the lat pulldown, the chest flies, the dips on the back. It wasn't a plate-loaded thing. So it wasn't a plate-loaded machine. You had to actually move the weights. but I got a barbell, weights and this cool weight bench with a big poster on how to use it and my parents gave me my own corner of the house it was very small but it was like a nice little space where I could go and be me, I could play my rap music and no one would mess around with me so I created an environment where I liked to do it so I would get home from school and put two hours in the gym and then go hang out with my bros And that became a part of the routine.

47:57Steph McMahon:And how much of an influence did your grandfather have? I think he was just the person getting the equipment in the door. Really? That's it? And then after that, like after junior high, when you get into high school, like there was no youth football in West Newbury, Massachusetts. So the first time you play football is 15 years old. Well, when we got to high school when I was a freshman, I'd already been lifting weights for like two and a half years. I was noticeably stronger than my peers. So the coaches were like, you, over here. Hit that guy. And I wasn't any good, but I was just strong. Right.

48:34And that helped me gain a little bit of fluency in football, which, oh, man, you can help our team win. You're all right. You're pretty cool. You became a part of the team. Yes. And that helped me get connections with like-minded people of like, oh, let's go work out. I know this gym in Amesbury called Hard Knocks. I think you'd really love it. And then at 15, walking through a basement gym underneath a bowling alley in Amesbury, Massachusetts. It was like, man.

49:02Steph McMahon:Do you remember the person who took you there? Not the first time. I know it was a key gym where you had to pay. You'd pay for the month. It was like$12 a month. And then for an extra$5, they'd give you a key. So you could go anytime. Yes. So there was one of us who had a key and they would let the rest of us in. We would just go late. Sure. We would all just work out and you would have to leave a guest fee and like leave it in, but we never did. And then I started leaving the guest fee and then I met the guy who owns the place. And then I was like, man, this place is the coolest. Because I started training there when like it was packed instead of when it was empty and I didn't want to be caught.

49:45and that's when it was like oh this is this is gonna be my hangout for a while and i was surrounded by older folks uh people of all ages people of all abilities but like people who went at it and wanted to get better and that was a that was a cool environment i think a reoccurring pattern for me ever since like as a 15 year old you're a little bit stronger play with the 18 year olds I was never, even here, I'm never the smartest guy in the room. In my own place. I'm not at the top.

50:20Steph McMahon:Right. But it doesn't matter. Yeah. Like, you're not the smartest guy in the room, the smartest person in the room. And I think that's also a cool vehicle for growth, knowing that there is a place to go, not encouraging complacency. Like, oh, I've done all there is to do. I can't do anything else here. I was always surrounded by people who were bigger, faster, stronger, wiser, you know, people I could learn from. Taker said something interesting recently about never being complacent. It's tough. It is tough. But if you have a growth mindset, you know, I think that makes a big difference. But so here you are training.

51:06You're 15.

51:07Steph McMahon:You're getting stronger. You're playing up, so to speak, which you love because it's a huge challenge, I would imagine. So it's weird. Like, at 15, I wasn't like, oh, this is a huge challenge. Right, you don't get it. I was like, man, I get to hang out with my friends. And we just met this older friend who's got their license. This is great. Like, it was more like that. And it wasn't like he could buy the beer. Looking back on it, you can, no, no. Because you didn't drink. Not at all. But it was just, I went from family social connection to like, wow, I'm building connections with people I care about and learning about myself, learning about what I like, what I don't, by trying and failing.

51:48Steph McMahon:How important is community? Because that's what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Whatever community you create. I believe that that's right up there in importance. because no one does it alone. You spoke to your coach. Like, this is something I did by myself. And then you checked yourself immediately. You're like, not by myself. No one does anything alone. We do get, we absorb the energy of folks around us. Right? So I've been in a lot of locker rooms. And I've been on a lot of teams. And when you're on a losing team, it is tough to rally the troops. because you're on a losing team.

52:33When you're on a winning team, it's tough to piss in the cornflakes because everything's awesome. A lot of wrestling locker rooms where if we are going through a bad patch or if there's a few bad attitudes in the room, people will generate, they'll gravitate towards that misery loves company. But if the overwhelming sentiment is positive and curious and uplifting, you'll see a group of guys in certain outfits that are just like unbeatable. Like everything is good. So in that sense, I think community is the most important. Because let's say I do wake up and like, man, I'm going to earn the day.

53:17And the first person I run into is like, uh. The second person, hey, man, how's life? It's taken forever. Yeah. eventually that wears you down. So for me, I consider, like, I call my family, like, my guys. Rob is one, Nikki's one, Dan's one, my wife Shay, John Martin. Like, I got, like, my six closest connections because they are people that are relentless in their curiosity, in their growth, they're great listeners. The time we spend together is like this, where it's like, man, did we just kind of solve the problems that I was trying to figure out? Yeah, okay, what's next? We look forward to the time we spend with each other, even though it's not all the time.

54:04And I can't say that about people with the last name Sina, which is crazy because when I was a young person, it was just me and my brothers. But a lot of the perspective that I have on life, my brothers don't have that perspective. and they're entitled to that. But it's also something I can't be around for a lot because I find myself slipping into that. And I can only spend so much time around that energy. And it's like, man, when the glass becomes half empty, when it gets right to that 50-yard line and it starts to become half empty, that's when I need to be surrounded by my family.

54:45Steph McMahon:By the six. Yes. Yeah. Yes. or people with that curious nature. It's always good to talk to you. You are never bad, even when you're bad. I'm just learning that, like, man, I was going through some shit. I never once knew. Because you're always good. You give off an energy that's, like, uplifting. You want to share happiness and joy. So if you're going through some shit in your life, I don't know. Yeah, I come from a place of love. At least I tried to. Yes. I guess what I'm saying is if you're in an environment that doesn't, the math isn't in your favor. And why is that that human nature, misery loves company, negativity on social media, you know, fear?

55:36Steph McMahon:Why are those the things that drive humanity? First of all, let's address the elephant in the room. I'm not qualified with a paper on my wall to give a response to that question. it's just okay just my perspective given your experience just my perspective yes your opinion let's instead of listening let's talk about that why do you think misery loves company oh you're turning it on me no let i'm i'll give an answer i don't know what it is honestly that's i don't know what it is about human nature and it's a question that i think about a lot um and you're not the first person i've asked that question too but i don't i don't know what's your perspective well dr king has a quote that he chooses love because hate is far too great a burden to bear okay and i think that's true i think it takes a lot of energy to be negative okay and maybe it's because it's such a powerful energy even though it's a negative one it's what people are more drawn to?

56:43Steph McMahon:I don't know. Or is love scarier? Because you have to be vulnerable in love. You have to be yourself and not be afraid of what people are going to think. You have to not be afraid to be the kid walking around West Newberry and... Turquoise polka dots. Turquoise polka dots. Turquoise. Were the polka dots black? Of course not. Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm trying to envision the whole look. Yeah. Okay. Rayon too. Yes. All rayons. Also with the... Hammer pants. Yeah. Low. You can't touch this. Oh, like you also were super low. Oh, I would... Like butt hanging out. So when I would wear the overalls, of course, you strap them all the way down.

57:25So you get to see the boxers that you bought at Marshalls. Everybody can see those. Yeah, of course.

57:30Steph McMahon:Marshalls. Marshalls. Marshalls. Yeah. Yeah, when you get tired, you get your accent. I do. Yeah. Tired or possibly one too many pints. Yeah. Let your guard down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've noticed that about you. But so why do you think? I think there's a lot there. But I would volley maybe that negativity is easy. But why? Because we don't, like you mentioned something I thought was really profound. Love is uncomfortable because you have to be vulnerable. It's an exercise in trust. the negativity I've noticed nobody goes out there and says I'm a fucking asshole it's always like she's a fucking asshole because that's easy to say because I don't have to look at myself from the experiences I've had especially personally love starts here yes when you can look in the mirror and be like man flawed love you though.

58:36Like, you're enough. I think that's a good step forward in being able to welcome love in your life, which is very trusting. You're literally, love is like handing the suitcase of weapons for you to be destroyed to someone and be like, please don't use that. There's a fully loaded gun. And that's why it feels so good, because they don't use it. And in those moments when they can, you can kind of almost know that they're not going to and that's why it feels warm and gooey and fuzzy.

59:06Steph McMahon:Sometimes they do use them. I would say you're not wrong, but in a true loving relationship, if they get used, I think each other holding each other accountable for using those and understanding that like, hey, you may be putting this thing in jeopardy. I don't know how many people lean into those moments. Or somebody isn't who you thought they were. They, you thought they were, because I think one of the things that people do. This is good because now we're going everywhere. I love this. That they put their values on other people. 100%. You know, so you assume other people feel the exact same way you do about whatever it is.

59:52Steph McMahon:And that's not necessarily the case. In fact, I think most of the times it's not. It's never the case. So their behavior is surprising to you, but it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be. And a lot of times we want people to be something in our eyes. Again, I've just kind of learned this in the past few years. One of the people I love very much, John Martin, I'll bring his name up often, meet somebody where they're at. Appreciate just how you have to meet yourself where you're at to be like, I love you. Let's try to tweak these things a little bit. Let's see if we can grow here. You're disappointed in the gym.

1:00:31What's up with you? What's going on? You're usually not that guy. Do you want to cut bait and not work out anymore? Do you want to find another discipline? Do you want to try running? Do you want to try reading? Who knows? No, I'd like to still try the gym. Okay, look a little, dig a little bit more. Find the one nugget that's making this a bad experience. Sometimes it takes the involvement of a friend to be like, hey, you're being an asshole. What's going on? but eventually you got to look at self. And with others, if I want you to be my best friend and I think you're my best friend and I say like, oh, but you're always good, which is a perspective I have of you in my head and you are going through a rough time and you're not good, I might get upset that you're not your usual self.

1:01:17Meanwhile, you're bearing the burden of just living life. So it may get nuclear. And I think when there's love involved, when it starts to get nuclear, there's a stop down. And then I'm saying, hey, the story I'm telling myself is you're disappointed with me and you might be going through some stuff. Is there anything you want to talk about? Instead of just...

1:01:38Steph McMahon:Assuming the worst. Or just opening up that suitcase and using every weapon. And that's... To fire back. That's the difference, I think. I use the word love pretty scarcely. because it has to involve that trust to know that, yo, if things get gamey between us, if we got into a bit of a talk right now, this whole room would erase. And I don't mean I'd kick everybody out. I would lean into you with the disagreement and we would settle shit before we left. And a resolve may not be both of us flying high, but it certainly wouldn't be like both of us, I'm never talking to you again because I care about you too much.

1:02:24I just wouldn't let that happen. Or it would be a moment where you tell me, like, never cared about you. Everything's fake. And then you'd be a person I don't want in my life. Right. And that would be that. And it's also okay to, like, I loved this person for this section of my life. And I still have love for them. But they're not in that core. You know? I love my dad. My dad's crazy. He is. And that's coming from a motherfucker who's crazy. He's fabulous.

1:02:54Steph McMahon:Yeah, still. My dad's 80. He's still doing independent wrestling shows. He's still paying people off of fabulous money. Fab toolbox? Yeah. He did an interview on local television about my last match. Like, local news is like, we caught up with John Cena's dad. My dad didn't call me his son once. He called me John Cena. He lives in the gimmick, right? He does. Yeah. But like, so this is what a great real time example of what I'm trying to say. I want my dad to be my dad. That's not fair to my father. It's not. My dad is 80. He raised five of us. None of us have health problems. We all have our own lives.

1:03:38We're all secure. As a parent, I can say to my dad, like, yo, as a parent, you did a great job. regardless of the things I need to pick that I have to unwire for myself. If I was raised in an environment where now I don't like the behaviors, I can work on me and correct that. What I know is he had five. We're all healthy. We're all stable. We're all good. Good job, boss. I can't expect him to be anything more than he is. My dad is a wrestling fan, like a junkie, always has been. So how could I not know this? He introduced me to wrestling. That's what I was going to ask. It's the only time we could beat each other up and get away with it was when we made a paper belt and be like, I'm the champ though, dad.

1:04:24Be like, okay. Great. So like me 10 years ago would have saw that interview and be like, this dude just ruined my WrestleMania. Me now, I'm like, go get him, Fab. Yeah, that's my dad. And that's who he is. And I have so much of a better relationship with my dad, it is in bursts. And I know what I'm getting into because I meet him where he's at. Instead of me like, hey, why can't you just be a dad to me? Like, he's trying. That's his way of doing it. And if I want him to be who I want him to be, then he's not himself. And if he is a person, who he is, is not someone I can be associated with and I need some distance and I've had these conversations with him.

1:05:14Like, Dad, love you. We got to cool it down. You text me when you're ready or you call me when you're ready and maybe we can set something up, but here are the rules. Neutral ground, public place. Because we got to start casual. And then if I know you're ready to lean in, we can lean in a little bit. Man, these past couple years of my dad have been awesome. and I'm so like, this is stuff that I don't talk about. If I'd spoke at my dad's eulogy 10 years ago, my eulogy would have been like, he was just a guy. Thanks for coming. And I would have listed every other male important mentor in my life that guided me through life and was there when I needed them as a father figure because I might have been searching for that.

1:06:05when I get the luxury of speaking of my dad's eulogy now people will know how excellent a human being he is and he hasn't changed one bit and he's not gonna change because he's 80 and he's stuck and he's stubborn and I like just because I'm on a path of growth I can't bring him with me if he doesn't want to make the leap but I appreciate who he is I love him for who he is and I couldn't be a better example of like, I do have love for him, but I got a real different relationship with my mom than I do with my dad. And me and moms can lean into stuff. And I know a whole lot more about her story. And I know like, what's the worst thing I ever did to her?

1:06:49What's the thing she's the most proud of? Like we, real deep shit. She spent a ton of time with my bride. So now Shay is the daughter that my mom never had. and all that is is just listening and trust and vulnerability and true love. This is a safe space to discuss whatever you want.

1:07:10Steph McMahon:And to know who you can do that with. And like my mom ain't perfect. She's got her flaws too. Holy shit, I got a long list up. But I think it's like I'm sitting with you. This is who you are as a person. I don't need you to be any more than that. I just need you to be okay with me being me and let's try to move onward together. And going back to negativity, to me, negativity is easy because you don't have to reflect on self. It's so much easier to say it's your fault because now I don't have to do anything. All I got to do is get one person to agree. And chances are because there's probably somebody who doesn't want to take that bold look at themselves because it's tough.

1:07:51And you're not going to find that everything's great. Someone else is going to be like, yeah, it's their fault. like this is another thing I love about sports entertainment you know if you sucked right away right away and there are many nights I have sucked they tell you all the time scene of silence that's noise we can lean into that that's noise, that's interest and you've been around it enough to know apathetic silence

1:08:23Steph McMahon:silence is the worst Silence, not bad. There's a curious silence. Okay, curious silence. The audiences in Japan are very well-behaved. Okay, that's culturally different. To me, that noise of curious silence, all right, this is different. Oh, they're here. All right, great. Crickets, though. Apathetic. Yeah. Walking up the concourse to get a hot dog silence is heartbreaking. Yeah. But it takes a very humble person to come back and be like, I missed. You, come here, sit down. Why? That wasn't good. I can't tell you how many times I have seen, I've always been blessed with being, not being the smartest guy in the room.

1:09:09When you guys brought me in and gave me another chance as a hip-hop guy, I got paired with such good veterans. like Eddie, Rikishi, Booker T, JBL, who would be like, get over here. Why the fuck did you do this out there? And they would say the moments we missed. And then they would say the why. It was not a conversation. It was a remake. A lesson. Yes. I can't tell you how many performers come back and think they did good because they did all of their things correctly. and they're not willing to take the look at themselves and be like, the audience didn't get that at all. Well, I'm new. I don't care.

1:09:54It's not me. It's them. They didn't get it. They didn't get it, which in itself is that should be the look in the mirror. They didn't get it. What did I do wrong? I did nothing wrong. They just don't get me. That's not going to work. That's not a long-term model for success here. So it's that there couldn't be a better example of it being easy. Negativity on social media, first of all, you can hide in anonymity. And second of all, man, you can get people to pile on with you. And you don't have to look at self. You know, like I choose to take another path on social media.

1:10:34Steph McMahon:Yes, you do. You have a very different path on social. I try not to get involved in those sorts of conversations. I put thoughts out in the world to keep myself accountable, period. And again, none of this means anything. So if people view it, cool. If not, it's okay. But I'm trying to put that shit out into the universe, so now I have to walk the talk because that shit's also tough.

1:10:59Steph McMahon:There's a lot of Stoic philosophy that talks about how you really... You into the Stoics? Yeah, I am. Right on, okay. Yeah, because you can only control yourself. You really can't control your circumstances. You can't control what's going to happen. But you can control your reaction. You can control what you take from the situation. You can control how you learn from it. You can't control your dad's behavior or who he is. And you've gotten to a place where you don't want to. You accept him for who he is. And I dare say love him for who he is. Sure do. And getting to that place where you're able to make that separation for yourself is incredible.

1:11:45Steph McMahon:And not many people, I don't think, get to a place where they can look back on 10 years and say how profoundly they have grown and looked at situations differently. And recognizing who you were 10 years ago and how you looked at things. And now, 10 years later, how you're looking at things. So to bring it back to WWE for a moment, how have you changed in your perspective, even of John Cena in the business, from when you first started to now here you are at the end of your wrestling career, your farewell tour? What are your biggest lessons along that journey? That's a great question. man I want to flip that on you because I know you have so many lessons that you would share maybe we can go back and forth I think the biggest overreaching lessons and again you're not talking to me any memory I bring up from like 2002, 2004 is me just remembering that moment it's not me in 2002 it's your perspective now it's my perspective now that's what I'm curious that it is an absolute fictitious dream job, that I'm so lucky that it exists.

1:13:18It is something that I never knew how much I needed in my life and still to this day is something that I can't live without. Also, it ends for everyone.

1:13:40And no one, this is where it's okay to have people in social circles or close connections. We don't need to agree and see eye to eye on everything. No one is immortal. No moment is immortal. No one remembers you forever. None of it matters. The best thing you can do is, if you really love something and something is important to you, when you get a chance to do it, do the best you can and be as coachable as you can.

1:14:09Steph McMahon:Especially if you hold yourself to a high standard, so to speak. If you're not hitting your marks, if you're not achieving the things you want to achieve, it's so easy to go into like a self-loathing almost. You suck. You're no good. You can't do this. You can't do that. I think a lot of people go into that without self-love. Yeah. Yeah. Or you don't have it at all. I also, the term self-love is a tough one for people to sometimes even hear because they sometimes confuse it with like pure positivity. And the two are very different. Or ego. Where I sometimes struggle with it was like, who are you to, you know, who are you to love yourself, right?

1:14:53Steph McMahon:Like, what is that? I know. I know. I haven't figured out a different term for it because the connections that come afterwards, like once you establish that love of self, you know what love feels like. And for me, I hit a point where I could look at myself and say, no matter what, dude, you are enough. And that was like right before I met my bride. and then it was like I kind of knew what I wanted out of love. I had a clean set of guidelines for what that means and what that's supposed to be. And passing that on to another person and becoming more than just yourself, that's cool. And then beginning to lean into your friends with that sort of mindset.

1:15:51And there's a lot of friends that I had 15 years ago that I don't so much have anymore. There's a lot of friends that I had 10 years ago that I don't so much have anymore. And it's not that I don't like these people. It's just that over the course of interactions, I'm like, oh, okay, we can only get this far. Which means that we can only get this far. I'm not blacklisting you. We'll talk every now and again. but I thought you were a close connection and you were in this time period. And that's okay. Like that, that's all okay. You know, but I think it's, I wish I could find a different word than self love.

1:16:33Cause it, I get, it does come off a little wonky.

1:16:36Steph McMahon:I want to dig into it though, because for a lot of people, they don't have love in their life. Their parents, maybe they don't even have parents. They're alone. Being raised, however they're being raised, just struggling. and they've never really had someone to believe in them, what I think one of the things you're saying that's so important is that you really don't need anybody else. You have to believe in yourself. So I don't want to speak out of both sides of my mouth. Again, no one does it alone. Right. And I think the more layers you can put together, the more the math is in your favor.

1:17:17I just, like, I needed a lot of people in my life to help nudge me to find self-love. But ultimately, I had to do it. Just like I need a lot of people to make sure I can move around, but ultimately when you put the plates on the bar, I'm going to be the one lifting the weight. But I don't do that alone. There's a lot of folks who help me do that. My bride, my gym buddy, let's go when you're tired. Yeah, let's go. Rob, my best friend, hey man, you're a little off kilter here. Let's make sure your nervous system is awake before you squat. Or this is the protocol you should do. And then just actually doing the thing.

1:17:55The people who create a positive environment for you to pursue jiu-jitsu without judgment. So you don't feel bad about it. Even something as simple as that. Allow you to do the thing you love. But you're in there getting stretched. You're doing the thing. You know what I'm saying? So I don't know.

1:18:17Man, I want to stress the importance of love outside of self, but I think you have to know what it feels like first. You have to be okay with the person looking you in the mirror. And it does, like, whatever virtues you have in life are okay. That's another thing I want to say. Like, your philanthropy is obviously a big virtue for you and acts of service is a big virtue for you. Like, I want to give back. This is what I want to do. You can be all about money. I want to make money.

1:18:51Steph McMahon:Sure. And there's nothing wrong with that. And every day if you look at yourself and be like, I'm doing, I'm making my money in a way that I feel good within my values. I feel okay. And I can look at the person in the mirror and be like, go get them today, boss. You're doing it. Whatever you want to do. As long as it's not against the, I guess, agreed morality that we've come to know as law. Well, as long as you're not hurting anyone, right? Again, that agreed morality. Yeah. And if you are living within the values you set for yourself. And that's like the walk the talk sort of shit. Like, it's tough.

1:19:27It's tough. And I ain't perfect.

1:19:29Steph McMahon:Sure. And your value set may be different than somebody else's. And it can change. It can change. There were times in, man, I remember in like 2008, sat down at dinner with my ex-wife. Phone call. We need you here, boss. There's a plane waiting for you. See ya. Because my why was I'm going to ride this lightning bolt until it super kicks me off. And no one is going to get in that way. I didn't lean into a conversation with the person I should have about like, hey, can we talk about this? or do you have to leave now? Well, this is really important to me. Is there anything we can do to find balance?

1:20:12Do you want to come with me? Nope, see you later. That's not good at all. If I want love and connection in my life, that's horrible.

1:20:24Steph McMahon:But it maybe wasn't what you wanted at that time. I was living the life I wanted to live at the time thinking I could do everything. and it goes back to what we were talking about earlier my husband and my kids are my why okay then a little time is going to come off of this and a little time is going to come off of this if this is the most important thing in your life if this is the tip of your spear it's gonna it's gonna be all of your decisions are based off of that and for a good 15 to 16 years the tip my spear was making the town and and I wouldn't I don't regret any of that I I feel good that I can reflect on a mini moment like that when I literally threw some cash at my ex-wife and caught a plane to the next event I don't regret anything uh I wasn't forced to do that I did it under my own duress like it was my choice I've learned from it I've grown from it and it's and you don't beat yourself up about it.

1:21:25Not at all. It was a great moment and reminds me of like, okay, first of all, you can have a lead dog on the sled. You can have a tip of the spear. Just make sure that's what you want. And all of those decisions will be based around that. And that's why 10 years ago, if you asked me, I would have said I'd been put on this earth to be a WWE superstar. And now at 48, I know I'm not. Like I am here to live life. I am here to acknowledge the greatest gift that I have been awarded of all the privilege and gift I have been awarded in my life. The greatest gift is waking up. And that is the tip of my spear.

1:22:10And right below that is my bride. So, hey, am I running right? Great. Are we running right? Great. I'll figure everything else out. So when we go back to talking about risk,

1:22:25I don't know. I can't speak for anybody else. But for me, risk is, am I running okay? Are we running okay? I'll figure the rest out. Let's try. But if it's like, is this going to make me not run okay? Is this going to jeopardize us? I don't like the risk. So there, I don't just take every risk.

1:22:49Steph McMahon:You think about it differently. Of course. Of course. But, like, what's the worst that can happen? And if... Calculated risk. The overwhelming answer is, it is not going to make you feel good. Because... Whatever reason. Or it's going to ruin the most valuable thing you have in your life. Punt. Seems easy, right? But it's not. it also involves putting yourself out there. And that's not just like entertainment with a camera, like whatever risk you take. I want to ask for a promotion at work. I want a different job. I want to move. You got to put yourself out there. You have to live. Kind of. That's how I look at it.

1:23:35Steph McMahon:I mean, your life is here to live. You're not here to. So that's what I'm here for. And a byproduct of enjoying and embracing the lightning bolt. is a lot of time on the canvas, which has been super awesome. But it's also like time for that to be over. Or I run the risk of what we talked about. Are we running right? If you want to be full-time in this, that's a difficult juggling act. Just from the way I invest in this, that's not anyone else's perspective but me but from the way i push my chips into this it is tough to carry people along with you it's like they need to ride the wake they can't run next to you and that's just me and am i running right a schedule like i was doing in 2013 would destroy me right now so this is a risk of like why are you choosing to hang up you're in shape life is good you look good you can still jump high and move fast it will ruin me and ruin my relationship and that's the tip of my spear so i gotta close the chapter that's it when you're doing it in grand fashion trying you are trying to do something that's never been done before and i i love it and before i geek out about oh we're not i'm not gonna spoil the tv show we're not gonna talk about any just can i just say i love you as a heel and i tried to get you to be a heel for a very long time but man i I love it.

1:25:02Steph McMahon:I love it. Can I just say I had some really good people to learn from, and you are in a very short list of names that that falls into. I steal. This is all I'll do to spoil that. I flat out steal a lot from you. Wow. Well, that's... So thanks for helping me through this wonderful ride. That's all the spoilers I'm going to give. Any more asshole tips you need. I'm happy to provide them. Save big money when you shop at Menards. We have an excellent in-stock selection of Whirlpool appliances. We carry great brands at the best prices. Ready to take home today. Whether you want new laundry appliances or need upgrades for your kitchen, you'll find appliances that'll make your life easier.

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