Tony Hinchcliffe

29:43and having a blast doing it. So we have the most fun. It's crazy. You know, we do that show that you saw last night on Mondays. And then Tuesday and Wednesdays are just the actual most fun days. We spend so much time in that green room cracking up. Yeah. It's ridiculous. That's so great. Oh, my God. It's insane. Like, that's the best job. Oh, yeah. Right? Doing what you love, just laughing with other really smart, funny people. Oh, my God. It's crazy. Like if you think Shane's funny, I'm not saying, you know, he's so funny off stage that it's ridiculous. It can be absolutely painful at times. So is it hard to get to know a comedian personally?

30:29No, we're all very much the same. It's kind of like a breath of fresh air because you can relate to that person. Right. And again, I feel this in the wrestling world because I kind of feel like the things correlate. It's a nightly job. You're out there in front of live audiences. You're traveling a lot. So I mean, it's it's sometimes hard to just, you know, talk to a normal human being. Oh, yeah. No, I could see that. Yeah. But I mean, like if you are in a personal relationship, right? Like because what I've always found is comedians often deflect or at least like the funnier kids that I grew up with.

31:07Right. Like they oftentimes the comedians were the ones who were going through it hardest. And they would use comedy so often just to deflect any scenario, no matter what it was, even if they were just feeling slightly uncomfortable. like too close to someone or whatever it is oh yeah yeah i'm mr too soon immediately like absolutely immediately i deal with everything with jokes because that's your way of processing oh totally yeah it's our way of processing everything though yeah it's a good day we're doing it too we're happy we're doing the roads kind of like that for us you know for wwe like you're because they travel so often it really does become like family and so when something tragic or hard or whatever it is is happening it really is cathartic to be able to to work and to have your buddies just tease you about it you know and just make you laugh and not make it all so serious I guess totally totally wrestlers have a great sense of humor yeah they do they get that.

32:14Well, and when you think about the life, like it's not super glamorous. It is a lot of travel. You're, you know, wrestling every night. You're performing. You're dealing with fans everywhere, you know, because they always know where you're staying no matter what. And you want to be nice to them, of course, you know, because you want to keep them. Yeah. And it's I think they really they don't get pampered, you know, so I think it keeps them real and it keeps them grounded. And I think that's one of the reasons why they have such a special connection to the audience. Yeah. You know, because they are real.

32:49Very much so. Yeah. Yeah. I once saw Seth Rollins at an airport going through TSA. And the only thing he had with him was the money in the bank briefcase. Putting it in one of the gray crates. That is hilarious. Oh, I couldn't believe it. I was leaving. I was in that it was through the clear glass thing when you're leaving the airport and you can just see what's going on and I'm like that's Seth and I'm literally watching him put it in the thing and it's just mind blowing to think like wow that's so funny you have to be he's that all the time money in the bank briefcase it says money in the bank it's the one it's unbelievable and people freak out Oh, yeah.

33:37Yeah. Of course. Yeah. The coolest. Oh, it's unbelievable. What was in it? What do we think? Money in the bank contract, of course. Yeah. At least. It was the only thing he had with him. So either he checked a bag and was going through with that. Or in my personal opinion, I think he may have like put some stuff in there. That's where I was going. I think he probably has like a toothbrush and toothpaste. The contract is also in there. Yeah, I meant like what else. It doesn't ever come out. I meant what else did he pass? The contract. That is so funny. Not that new. Damn it. Big news, WWE and sports fans.

34:24The world's number one sports fan festival, Fanatics Fest, is making its return to New York City. Fanatics is bringing you closer to the leagues, teams, superstars, and athletes you love across four action-packed days in July. Meet your favorite WWE superstars, get your hands on exclusive merch, catch live podcasts, and interact with the biggest names in sports. Tickets go on sale November 13th, and fans of the show can get a 10 % discount by using Steph10 at checkout. That's S-T-E-P-H, the number one, the number zero, at checkout. I ended up having Ric Flair on this show. It was very interesting.

35:12Wait, how so? Because I didn't see it. Was he one of the interviewers? He was on panel. Okay. And it was a very big deal to me. I was very excited to have him. And how did it go? Well, let's put it this way. the day before obviously was a Sunday and uh he hit me up and goes hey let's have some drinks and it's 1 or 2 p.m or whatever and sure enough we do and he drinks vodka cranberries which for some reason they will mess you up they don't mess me up really they mess me up everything messes me up except for vodka and and I go it was one of those things where I go I love what he's having So we end up having what had to be 15, 16, 17 vodka cranberries.

36:02And I'd be dead at about 7 p.m. He goes, I'm getting tired. We're going to get out. Let's get out of here. And it was me, him, Shane Gillis, Wiz Khalifa. Somehow it was unbelievable. And we're literally just bar crawling down 6th Street. Few drinks here, few drinks there, few drinks here, few drinks there. and we're having the time of our lives. I guess so. And at about 7 p.m. he goes, you know, I'm getting tired. I'm going to go home. And he's rocking. He's having some fun, yeah. And I realized right then, I thought to myself, huh, he drinks like this every day. It's 7 p.m. My show starts tomorrow night that he's on at 8.15.

36:50And I did a little math in my head and go, huh, this could be an issue. maybe I should say to him, hey, Rick, the show's at eight tomorrow. Take it easy drinking. But I can't give Rick Flair a fucking note. Are you kidding me? What the hell type of, who the hell do I think I am to tell the nature boy? What he can and cannot drink. And so, sure enough, sure enough, he's like, hey, I'm over at the Hilton Hotel. Come walk me over. and this is like like whatever 7 p.m on the monday oh my god oh no it's epic he go i go okay i go over there with whoever my producer whatever and he's like i got these uh southwest flight attendants i just met at the bar they want to come see the show and they're like yeah let's go It's like all these very nice, lovely, you know, very thick, black, very cool.

37:56But, you know, let's fucking go, Rick. Let's go, boy. We gonna laugh tonight. And that's the vibe. And she, oh, yeah. Oh, very much so. And she goes, slap my ass again, Rick. And we're walking. and he goes and it's a loudest slap and they're just cracking up and i'm like oh my god this is crazy like rick flair is just smacking flight attendants asses on the way to the show like and he's already like he's rocked already he's clearly on the same routine as the night before and he goes he has this gym bag with him he's so Ric Flair like the whole thing is so Ric Flair he's like I gotta keep this bag on me the whole time I can't lose this bag whatever I do I gotta have this bag with me make sure I don't lose this bag I go it's an important bag he goes there's$200 ,000 cash on it

39:02and you by the way you're seeing the Rolexes, the rings, the whole thing. Slapping flight attendant's asses with a duffel bag with 200 grand in it because he signed autographs and probably doesn't want the IRS to know that he's getting paid in cash. I hope I'm not saying too much. I'm sorry, Rick. I love you. You're the man. Your legacy is unbelievable. Where's the camera? Thank you, Rick. We love you, Rick. It's all out of love. This only helps your legacy, Rick. But sure enough. I mean, yeah, it was just a little, it's a little, was there any ass smacking during the show itself? Yeah. No, no, no.

39:44It could have been the sound like instead of the cat, it could be the first. Yeah. That would have been, that would have been a good idea, but it's hard to paint the picture for the crowd. But yeah, in my memory, in my mind, I'll never forget the sound. I mean, it sounded like somebody took two blocks of wood and went like that. Well, and there's a way to make it louder.

40:07Would you like to show us? You just cup your hand a little bit. Yeah, you just cup your hand a little. Okay. It's louder. All right. Yeah, it's like something to do with the air. Okay. Finding out a little bit about you over here.

40:24So, yeah, Rick was fun. But yeah, it got a little up and down during the show. But that makes sense. There was this one promo Rick cut. And at the time, my dad was very frustrated with Rick because he was just doing what he wanted to do. And he was being very specific about Rick's verbiage because he tends to say some things sometimes. and we were all supportive of Rick doing what he does. But the very first thing he talks about is somehow like bleeding virgins. That is in his first line. Oh, boy. And we are like, oh, my God. And it's live TV. Woo. And there's like nothing you could do. And he's jumping on down that rabbit hole.

41:16Yeah. You just have. Damn. Those old school promos. Yeah. They just don't make them like they used to. They don't. No doubt about it. Yeah. There's so many legendary ones. I mean, Macho Man, Ultimate Warrior. I love how the internet sometimes can assemble these old school things where it shows you them working it out and trying it again. And it's so crazy to see the process of it all. Well, it's like comedians trying out their material. Oh, totally. Because that's another thing. You could be having a conversation with a comedian and suddenly like you're like rolling. And you're like, oh, you're doing your stuff.

41:59Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're testing. Yeah. But that's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's where a lot of it comes from, though. Yeah. They might not necessarily be like performing it. They might be like writing it. Right. Right in front of you. Oh, that's interesting. how a lot of it happens that's kind of my process is i uh i don't like sit down and write during the day i'll hang out at night have some drinks with the homies and if something comes up oh did you hear this news story about that and i say something funny and everybody laughs then i write it down yeah or you know you take a lot of notes during the show too well during the show what i'm actually writing down is the information that I'm gathering from them that I want to.

42:49So like, let's say during their set, they say that they're a bartender for a living. Like I'll write that down. Bartender. I write down how many years they've been doing it. If I have a question that I want to get to, I'll write that down because I'll find that interesting. Or if they say they're married for five years during their set. I'll write that down so that I don't ask because everybody loves for some reason when I miss something. The place goes ballistic. Oh, God help everyone. If I, they said it during their set. They said that they do this for a living or that they're married or whatever.

43:31So I just write down every little bit of information that I can. Just for in the moment or to remember later? No, just for in the moment. There was only one person's name that you handed to the left of you. No, I hand them to the left. You do everybody to the left? Because I felt like Alexa, I think was her name, got a special sort of nod. No? Did I see that wrong? Maybe a bigger book? No. Right? She definitely had a bigger book. I mean. Yeah, no. All came right out of the bucket. Damn, I thought I was seeing something special, but I guess not. I was like, oh. Yeah. Yeah, no. Now I hand everything.

44:12I pull it. I make sure it's legible. Hand it to Red Band. Red Band hands it to. And it was you who did it. And you said something to the person who took it. Oh, I was asking if Woody's stand-in was ready. Oh, okay. Because that was a planned thing. And he didn't. I asked him before the show. I go, do you know your way to the backstage? And he said no. And I go, someone will help you there. So I was double checking to see if he was ready. The whole thing is so live and crazy. Yeah. And it's really my production team is unbelievable. But there's also it's it's really just kind of at the end of the day.

44:54It's really me. You know what I mean? It's like gorilla position. It's really like back when, you know, Vince was on commentary. It's really that. I'm kind of calling the shots, but I'm also directing. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also not me. I'm just, you know, I'm not the one wrestling, right? I'm just keeping it going, telling the story. Exactly. Yeah. You know, and that Alexa, for example, it's like, okay. Like that could have gone so many directions, right? If she doesn't go, I don't even like sex because I was raped or whatever. which is wild right so compelling yeah and um you know by my dad and i'm like your real dad and she's like no not the real dad she kept going tony you're from you're from ohio you know what it's like i'm like i don't know yeah my experience was slightly different yeah yeah but that that interview would have gone an entirely different way if it wasn't that it It would have been so like, so like, what are you into?

46:06And this and that. And there's so many directions that everything can go. And again, I just keep it interesting for myself. I ask the questions that I genuinely want to know. And I run the show like, I run the show for the people that have watched every episode. you know so like I'm always trying to to to figure out what I find genuinely interesting about somebody because I have obviously seen every episode like I've been there for everything so to keep the thing evolving it's tricky it's tricky yeah it's like WrestleMania yes yes and I have those you know we do these massive arenas and you know have a pretty crazy netflix deal that other podcasts don't have at all and and again you know i'm the only podcast that on those events has pyro and fire and smoke and sparks and huge entrances and extremely developed intro you know AI background videos of their name and this and that or their faces and all of these different elements.

47:24Yeah. We still make it so that it's this larger than life presentation intro because they watch these people every week. You're making stars. Yeah. It's so crazy though because at least in wrestling like they're putting their bodies on the line. They're about to put on a real physical unbelievable show with oohs and ahs and wows. And again this person's you know going to talk about what eating the taco bell last night and having diarrhea like it's so crazy that and it's one of the things that like cracks me up when i see like william coming out in an arena to a giant standing ovation and fire's going i'm literally thinking to myself what the hell have i done what is this world a masterpiece It's crazy.

48:14It really is. We're doing the garden again this year for the third year in a row. Congratulations. So it's just become routine. And you might know this, but the garden isn't the most profitable venue to do. No. It's such a majestic, unbelievable, magical thing that you have to pay. Like you pay to do it. It's the world's most famous arena. It is. That's exactly what it is. And it is that for a reason. It's magical and it's in the walls and in the ceiling and you just feel it. And there's no place like it. And that place is a place that we do because, again, it all goes back to the WWE. Because of the magic of WrestleMania 1, 2, right?

49:073? The first few were there. Then they did like the Trump Hotel. Closed circuit. Yeah, Trump Hotel was four and five. Yeah. Yeah, that's when I first met the now president of the United States. Amazing. Wow. WrestleMania four. Wow. Yeah, yeah. I go way back. That was the first roast I ever wrote for was the roast of Donald Trump. That's pretty fabulous. That guy's so funny. He is funny. I feel bad for the half of the country that just doesn't find him hilarious at all. Oh, my God. Oh, he's so funny. He is funny. It's crazy how funny he is. I think that's part of his charm. Oh, my God. It's unbelievable.

49:48The way he talks to the press on the airplane. A lady the other day was like, so you got an MRI. Is everything okay? He's like, yeah, I aced it. My brain is unbelievable. The doctor said they'd never seen anything about my brain. And he goes, you wouldn't do that good. Anyway, thank you. I mean, it's insane. And the fact that he's the president makes it funnier. I hear these, I hear the other side going, you know, but that's not presidential. They shouldn't talk like that. Like, I guess stop. Just stop. Who are you to decide how the fucking president should talk? When you win, you can talk how you want.

50:29Like a phony, like a fake. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they want. And I don't understand that either. It's like, give me someone direct with a sense of humor. Exactly. fucking that's what America is yeah but there you go and you're not gonna agree with everything did you just hear that that's 20 ,000 people turning off the podcast right there I know that is that is a possibility isn't that crazy yes it's that fast we normally don't talk politics yeah hey we don't have to you said Puerto Rico I know it's hard to it's hard to ignore that one yeah yeah that was a while arguably one of your biggest launches for fame very arguably but yeah that was a wild time wild nine and a half days i can't imagine it was crazy what were you doing uh pacing around trying to figure out if my netflix deal was still gonna go through and uh just all bad yeah it was it was crazy because i had all the momentum in the world i was coming off of uh it was only like three months after the brady roast and i I wasn't expecting.

51:36I thought this was going to be like a throwaway easy. Yeah. Easy. And I just thought, you know, this will be fun. I'll do this and I'll just be golfing with the president the next four years after this. And it'll be easy. It'll be cool. I'll be hanging with the president. Yeah. I'll be at Mar-a-Lago fucking chilling, smoking some weed, eating some scrambled eggs and golfing with the president. Sounds like a sad day. It'll be easy. Still no invite to Mar-a-Lago. No, huh? No, not yet. Not yet. Maybe. I think soon. Yes. J.D. Vance is cool. But anyway. He does a lot of podcasts. Yeah. Yeah. He was the guy because Trump laid low that last week before the election after the rally.

52:22He was laying real low. And J.D. Vance was out there doing this stuff, continuing to take questions. And he really and, you know, when you're in the full global media storm and you're somehow a comedian, the only thing that they're talking about is this joke, you know, making it like I could possibly be a racist, which, by the way, goes to show exactly how insanely fake and ridiculous the news is. with a simple Google search, you can find that I have the most diverse show that gives the most opportunities with a complete black and brown band. Yeah, but that's not interesting. Right, no, exactly.

53:07And so the story is told for you. You have to try to control the message as much as you can. Oh, it's absolutely insane. It's so hard. And if the machine is turned against you, you don't stand a chance. Yeah. You just don't. it's just it's it's so so what would you say is your greatest learning out of that experience um boy learning from that experience that's an interesting question that that i'll survive that's for sure like it's a great thing to know yeah it really is and it's real hard when it's happening. Very hard. Sleep is impossible. Eating is not easy at all. I just thought about it this past Thanksgiving because my stomach last Thanksgiving was still shrunk from not eating as much as I normally would for the two weeks that it was insanity.

54:13And so I remembered because we have an unbelievable Michelin star chef friend who makes the most insane Thanksgiving you can possibly imagine. That's a nice friend to have. Yeah. And the food is so good that it's ridiculous. And it's been four or five years in a row that we've had Thanksgiving at his place. And I couldn't finish my first plate that year. And I was like embarrassed Because again, this is like extremely high level food. Right. So like you're, you know. If you don't want to be disrespectful. Exactly. And I remember thinking, oh my God, I can't have another bite. This is crazy. Because yeah, there's a physical reaction that happens.

55:02Especially I think when they're wrong. Right. When you're like, no, I'm a good person. Right. I have the most, we all, by the way, Rogan's Club. I hear the way they talk about all these people. I could go on and on about how they can make certain people the bad guy. The club is so diverse. My show is so diverse. But none of it matters when they are pushing their story. When there's an area. But it really bothers you. Like if you did do something wrong, I would have been eating and sleeping just fine, I feel like. The thing I would have lost is some work. but when they're literally trying to make it seem like you're a bad person um yeah how do you yeah combat that it's just there's nothing and i yeah and i don't believe in you know really like reading and responding to social media things or anything like that so it's not like i'm just gonna sit there and be defending myself or giving the media more quotes to work with or anything and did you put out an apology or anything oh no no you definitely can't do that yeah it's all over if you do that yeah then you're like oh everything's over i'd lose the fans the deal and everything you're like apologizing that's that's that's what is that 2005 or something maybe maybe yeah no that's if you really really really do something wrong i feel like people apologize immediately for stuff now you know it's i think i'm convinced these pr people are like paid to tell you to apologize.

56:42I think, yeah, it's like a playbook. That's what it is. Yeah. And it's old school and it doesn't work. And here's your crafted apology. Yeah, it doesn't work. It doesn't work at all. Yeah. In this modern age. I think maybe Will Smith's apology was the last one. He should have apologized. That was crazy. That was wild. I still can't believe that happened. I know. See, that's when an apology is necessary. And again, like, you know, there I am doing jokes and everybody says, maybe not the right place. maybe not the right time and it's like sure okay but whatever you're a comedian meanwhile if like if i was in the back of an uber and i went on a racist rant caught on camera to the driver then i'd apologize right i go that was out of control i can't believe i did that and i apologize but anytime there's a microphone in front of a comedian right like you're trying to get a actions of course literally your job and by the way it was great in the you know everything was great in the room you know what you'll never see from that msg rally is a reverse shot at the crowd really yeah you'll never see it you'll never find it anywhere they don't want you to know what it looked like the diversity the different ages so interesting the different uh representations of people, the patriotism, and it looked like America.

58:06Every shade, every color. There's Puerto Ricans everywhere. You're in the middle of Madison Square Garden. They're laughing at the joke in real time right then, right there. They get that it's a joke. And then, by the way, it's 2.30 in the afternoon with the lights all the way up. Yeah, I mean, it's rough. And the audience isn't miked for laughter. No. But if you listen and watch it closely, it's fun. And I'm getting through it. So you didn't even know in the moment. Oh, no. No. Oh, no. Not at all. It wasn't until after. No, 15 minutes afterwards, I glance at my phone and I see that my alerts are like out of control.

58:44There's a lot like going on. I glanced at Twitter. That's what it was. And I see that the alerts are full or whatever. So I click on it and. the uh the kamala campaign account just basically tweeted something like a racist a comedian or no not a comedian a speaker at the racist rally just went on a racist rant about Puerto Rico something like that's a racist. like crazy. And, uh, and yeah, like I thought to myself, like, okay, this is the news right now. I was up so early in this thing. It was crazy. I went up literally after the national anthem. The real problem with what happened there was my position on the thing.

59:40Like I should have been much later. There was a guy that painted, uh, he painted an American flag after me. Oh, to music, like paint, live painted. I'm like, how the hell did this guy... I should have been definitely after him. They were taking the audience on a ride. I should have been later in this show. I should have been two hours later in between Dr. Phil and Hulk Hogan. Definitely. Instead, I'm between the national anthem and some guy painting the flag. Terrible positioning. Yeah, I mean, the proximity to Hulk would have been good. Yeah, exactly. But I literally... Yeah, exactly. And by the way, and I'm looking at him and Dr.

1:00:21Phil and all these other guys I'm like okay the news is going to switch any second one of these guys is going to do something crazy if not Trump himself right somebody's going to do something newsworthy instead it was just me crazy and all about you and every day by the way you're waiting for something to happen where you know it's got to end and it seemed like on the so that was on a Sunday Monday I come out guns a blazing on my show and say I won't apologize I made fun of every race I made fun of my own mom during that set but the media doesn't want to cover that Tuesday's rough and then Tuesday night Biden accidentally calls half of America garbage he goes you know who's really garbage is these people supporting Trump I get off stage and find out about that my buddy in the green room goes good news Tony Biden just called half the country garbage.

1:01:17And I remember thinking to myself, huh? Well, it's good. But that's still my trending word. So now he is. Yeah. Yeah. Excuse me. So I remember I remember thinking like this could be good, but it seems bad because it's still garbage. It's still my thing. It's talking about me. but uh so the next day when i'm expecting the news to end and the garbage thing to die down that's when trump pulls up in an actual garbage truck wearing a garbage outfit and i'm like oh you gotta be fucking kidding me the next day is halloween in which the number one selling out that was garbage man i'm like this is this is insane i can't believe i didn't even have to do I got nothing out of the gig I didn't get paid to do this rally I didn't all I all I could do is lose stuff here maybe that's the big lesson yeah maybe but then again it ended up completely working out so you know it's tricky sometimes I wonder what would happen without it I'd have lamer gigs that's the reality yeah I'd have lamer gigs I'd be invited to host some boring award show or something instead hey guess what I'm in the front row at WWE events I'm good with that I'm perfectly just as famous and happy as I want to be I get to do my show watch wrestling have some fun that's great yeah we talked a little bit about it last night which was how you grew up believing that your dad was a truck driver yeah he was just on the road a lot yeah so he wasn't home and then here you are on the bus on your way home from school and you see what looks like his truck and you write down the license plate number and you realize, oh, that's dad's truck like around the block at someone's house.

1:03:19Where's dad? Yeah, just a few blocks away. So we came to visit after that. I match up the license plate and we hung out because I didn't want to bring it up to him because you want your dad that visits rarely to like you. But after he left, I asked my mom, I go, hey, I noticed that my dad's car is across the street from my buddy Jeff Lewis's house on the school bus. And I matched up the license plate and it's definitely his car. What's up with that? And she sat me down and told me everything right then about my. And you were how old? I think nine or ten right in there. And she really spilled the beans.

1:03:55She decided that honesty would be the best policy, which was a very, very interesting choice. Bold. Yeah. It actually was. Yeah. And it's cool. it worked out I guess but yeah it's funny but it's a real thing and they had you know it was just all very crazy because they like wanted to keep it a secret because he had a separate family and but didn't did I hear you wrong that both sides were hooking up in the coupledom? No. My dad was married and living with his wife. My mom at this point was separated from her husband because I was older. When she got pregnant with me and she hadn't had sex with her husband in a long time.

1:04:52Right. Exactly. He knew. So he was out by the time I found out that, you know. And he was Hinchcliffe? Yeah, that was Hinchcliffe. Um, and, uh, and so no, my, back then my, you know, they didn't believe in divorce Italian families in Youngstown. So they would just literally just cheat on their significant others. So much better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, so yeah, she spilled the beans to me and, uh. And what did you do? um i think it was you know it's it's rough then because all my buddies had parents of some kind and that's what you believed you had up until that point right yeah but there is something perhaps and i and i really don't know but i think there's something to knowing that your dad is a few blocks away and chooses not to be with you from your perspective.

1:06:00Right. Back then that was the perspective. And you don't understand the adult bullshit wrapped up in there. Exactly. And now I do get it. Right. Like I kind of see both sides of it. Well, because you have an illegitimate. Exactly. I got a little baby grok out there. someone spit my water everywhere so yeah I think it's definitely part of my insane developmental thing because I always wanted to impress him I guess it started to become like a competition in my head and I think it's where some of the comedy definitely comes from is like trying to make him laugh when he would come and visit so that he would like like me Oh yeah.

1:06:56And it's so funny. I was making fun of one of my literally like one of the funniest people. Joe DeRosa was on my show a few weeks ago and him and I just go so hard at one another and no one's ever brought that up. this entire thing on on my show like no one's mentioned it or roasted me with it or anything and I just went in on him because a bucket pool that he was on panel for he goes yeah I was adopted and Joe DeRosa goes yeah I was adopted too yeah it's not easy and I go oh oh I was adopted and he goes yeah I was adopted at least my dad didn't live a few blocks away and chose another family and I laughed so fucking hard like my eyeballs almost popped out of my head it is so hysterical like great way to process it though too oh yeah yeah it all worked out you know in the long run and uh yeah it was crazy I was actually bartending right after high school at a place called Anthony's on the river that's no longer open anyway it was a daytime gig it was like the 35 year high school reunion of some school.

1:08:12And it's like an open bar because, uh, because of whatever. And so I'm slinging these drinks to all these, like whatever they were, probably 45, 50 year olds at the time, whatever it was. And, um, and it's just nonstop busy, busy. Okay. Vodka, cranberry, Manhattan, old fashioned, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. What can I get you? And this lady standing there looking at me like she's seen a ghost and she goes, she goes, is your dad blank and blank? And I go, yeah. And she goes, oh my God. I married you, whatever it was, 25 years ago. I'm like, what? She goes, that, I was the wife to your father when he made you.

1:09:03I've heard about you. I didn't know you. I never confirmed that you were actually real. So she never knew. She never had it 100 % confirmed. She heard a lot of rumors that there's this little kid in Youngstown saying that. Like around the block. That's his dad. Yeah. That her husband was his dad. And how. She ended up being the coolest person in the whole thing. She goes. Because she was like the boss. Yeah. Of his actual family. Of course, you know, these women have a lot of power. I know. That's right. And so she ended up forcing him to introduce me to the entire family and made a huge, it was like a huge family reunion that I got to have.

1:09:48Or not even reunion. First family union, I guess. And you got to meet your half? I got to meet the whole half of the family. And it was great because it was literally like two or three weeks before I moved to Los Angeles and never went back. So it was just this crazy opportunity that came out of nowhere. Did you stay close to them? um not really i'm not the best communicator yeah i'm not really i'm not a big follower upper of things but uh but my relationship with my dad is awesome now when i go back in town we hang out a little bit and it's good yeah yeah it's cool and what about with your mom oh we her and i are super tight okay again ding ding ding yeah yeah she has the best sense of humor any Any sense of betrayal?

1:10:33Back then, I'm sure I did. I don't know if I recognized it as exactly that at the time. I was a wild kid. Yeah. Well, I mean, you had just learned about death as we come to the end of the chapter. And then this. And again, this is the Attitude Era. And I mean, like, I was just one of those kids. Exactly. I mean, I was beyond. Way, way, way beyond. And I was never the bully type. I mean, I would make fun of people, but I was never the physical prankster. I was never the kick you in the balls guy or whatever or throw something at you. It was always verbal. Well, that's not funny. Right, exactly.

1:11:11It's not clever. No, exactly. But I would get in trouble so, so, so much. It was absolutely insane. I was always right on the line of expulsion. Because of what you said? Because of what you were saying? Oh, yeah, totally. Would you get the teachers to? Oh, it was ridiculous. now I want that footage I was a little bit my mom has a conduct card from I think it was either kindergarten or first grade it was one of one of those two options so like six or seven or whatever and basically the teacher was like I can't remember I think it was like you know you know he was like when you mix red and yellow you get this color and when you mix blue and yellow you get this color so Tony what happens when you mix da da da and da da da and I go what are your thoughts on the Joey Buttafuko case oh my god and you're how old six or seven and it's written on a conduct card that my mom has framed still today in class when asked what red and yellow mixed together means Tony responded what are your thoughts about the Joey Buttafuko case it's written on the you know they take points away from you you start with a hundred points and it was like a minus 10 deduction really yeah that could have been a minus 50 card yeah conduct card for misbehaving and i almost always made it to zero in a zero technically you're supposed to be expelled well almost made it to zero isn't zero right exactly but one or two points on there there was also we had a music class teacher when i was growing up who i had some of those yeah and but he didn't care about his job at all and so he would literally just play piano in the corner of the room and we turned music class into wwe time so we had like 40 minutes where we we were all different characters i was x-poc at the time that year that was my guy and we would do all of their moves so spinning roundhouse kick bronco buster x factor the guy's playing piano the whole time again by the way there's no again this isn't on a bed or anything.

1:13:27I'm talking about taking DDTs and elbow drops from linoleum. Oh, totally. We were, we were insane. You're like, can you hit the entrance music? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Can you play a couple of chords? Right. Yeah. Do you mind? Glorious? No, this was before that one. This segment is brought to you by Factor. What conversations did you grow up having around the table? Oh, that's a good question. Was there a meal or a family tradition that taught you something that you still carry with you today? No. It's really not. But would meal delivery be a good thing for you? Do you eat enough? Oh, yes. Yes.

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1:15:00In every single part of my life from as far back as I can remember, before I even knew what it was, again, changing that knob, like wrestling has always been a part of my thing. And it's the actual driving force of my show Kill Tony. Like it is totally, there's new people, there's returns of some of your favorite people. And basically I look at the panelists as kind of like guest commentators, you know, just adding their take and perspective. Have you had McAfee on? No. He'd be a great guest. Oh yeah, totally. Oh, maybe just not so late in the show. He talked about the WrestleMania rose. Yeah, which we aren't allowed to talk about.

1:15:51Is that true? I don't know. I'm asking you. No, yeah, you are. Yeah. No, that was a blast. It was so funny. Were you guys there? But I heard Pat tell the story or Paul told the story. I see Pat backstage and I'm like, oh, he is way gone. Like, it's been a long week. And he had been working his ass off. He's the hardest working guy in the world. But so he was hard at work enjoying himself at this point. Of course. And he's so far gone that I'm like, oh, I hope he's not going out there. Oh, yeah. Is he going out there? And his music hits. And he goes, and I'm like, oh, no. Yeah. But I think it was him who told the story.

1:16:34He just kind of sat there the whole time. He was perfect. That's exactly what I wanted him to do. He just had a big smile on his face. He was laughing a lot. He was perfect. That's exactly what I gambled on happening. But I do think he'd be a great guest because he's so quick, too. Oh, totally. He's hilarious. He is funny. Yeah. And he has great stories. Oh, yeah. He's the best. Absolute natural. I love him. I love all of his takes. You guys should do that. Yeah, we're homies. He's just always. Busy. Literally the busiest guy. That's true. He's so busy. And we're not going to Indianapolis anytime soon.

1:17:12Yikes. Say it like that. Come on. Great fans in Indianapolis. Oh, yeah, that's a great point. There are, there are. If they're that great, they can fly to Austin or New York City anytime. Oh, my goodness. We just lost more viewers. There they go. We just lost Indianapolis. We just lost our Indianapolis market. We did. KABC in Indianapolis. WKRP in Cincinnati. Yes. Wow. Yes. WFMJ in Youngstown, Ohio. Oh, there we go. Stan Boney. I'm just going to start saying letters. Yeah. Yeah. Well, oh, yeah. Yeah, that was a thing. That was a thing. Like, don't. Yeah, some of the things. I do not have a deal with Disney.

1:18:04Let's put it that way. It was so funny. Yeah. Oh, my God. It was so funny. I mean, we laughed the whole time. Oh, it was great. The entire time. Yeah. And you got to see some real live music here in Austin. Texas that band it's very legit yeah and they play what like 15 20 minute set yep I always that's that's a thing exactly only for Austin Texas back in LA we had like a joke band it was like literally a couple comedians that knew how to play some instruments like but uh when we made the move to Austin immediately I'm like I think we should add this element, you know, and so I just love having a real band behind me.

1:18:47You even took a page then from the Trump rally because you had a live artist in the corner. I know. Yeah, yeah. Well, I've actually... They took that from me. I've done that. I've done that forever since like episode 100 or something. We had a guy, Ryan J.E. Belt, who draws every episode. Oh, it's the same guy? He sends his in now and that it airs on the it gets put in on the YouTube his picture when I say it and Chris Rogers draws live. Ryan J. Ebelt stayed in LA but he's still from a distance part of the art. We have one artist there and one live artist there. That's pretty cool. Yeah. We're trying to make every type of art happen at once.

1:19:36Hosting, stand up, improvising music, painting. uh, uh, actual show, this, that, if someone says they know how to stunt, you know, you don't have anything physical. Oh, we got something coming. Oh, yeah. Mania season's right around the corner. We are on the road. Oh, awesome. That's another fun fact. We did for years have a thing called kill Tony mania, which was our biggest event annually. Yeah. Back then. and all it was was we would get we would go to San Francisco and perform at a big comedy club there and it was like just I would rent a big sprinter van and take as many of the comedians and crew that I could at the time and just do a sold-out comedy club at the time it seemed like that was as big as it could possibly get for us kill Tony mania that's cool yeah yeah you could maybe join forces with Dana and his slap show.

1:20:40And like whoever loses the point you know has to take one. I pitched that. I told him that I would do commentary before it like started, before it came out. I go, you should, you're going to make this funny, right? But he seemed pretty serious on keeping it serious. I don't know how exactly he's... These people are messing each other up. Have you watched it? I feel like I've seen like eyeballs moving. Yeah. Yeah. Like crazy shit. Oh, it's beyond all. I've seen people whack their head on the way out. Like they get slapped sore. They get knocked out. They crack their head. Then they crack their head off the ground.

1:21:18Like, damn. It's just insane. We have no idea what these people are going to be talking like and thinking in five years. No, it's not good. And hopefully there's not like, it's not repetitive. Right? I feel like if you figure out you're good at it, you're going to keep going back. I guess. She's going to get slapped too. I don't know. Yeah. It's not about making the noise. I trust. Cupping of the head. No, it's not. Dana White's a genius. So he must know something. He must be on to something here. Yes. That we and a lot of people can't.

1:21:54But he's the man. Yeah. No, he is. He is. But it is fascinating and horrifying to watch at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. These people are all like, give it to me. Come on, hit me. I like when they get hit and they don't even react. I originally pitched to them. I'm like, you have to have a sense of humor about this. If you want, I can come and commentate because I would make fun of, I would say this person looks like that, this person looks like that. Let's see how this goes. And you can literally do jokes. And react to the sound even. Yeah, exactly. But instead it's super serious. Yeah. It is very, very serious.

1:22:34Yeah. Yeah. I can't. Maybe you could do like a knockoff. Oh. It's just Ric Flair slapping flight attendants' asses. But Bago Fiesta. Yeah. They were Southwest flight attendants, by the way. I don't know if I'm sure. Yes, you said that. So it's a specific, it's a special type of flight attendant. They were on Ric's flight. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. there could have been a robe involved yeah so you were saying you're a big robe guy yeah love robes slippers also I have a you know Tiger Woods came out with a golf shoe that is very slipper like that is like a slipper it's the weirdest thing can you wear it outside yeah oh they're unbelievable they're literally Nikes but they're sandals and they say they're golf shoes but there's no tread or anything.

1:23:30That's what I was going to say, the little spikes on the bottom. Yeah, no spikes. It's just ridiculous. Maybe there's a button. It doesn't make any sense that they're golf shoes. My buddy bought them for me as a gift. He goes, yeah, these are the new state-of-the-art golf shoes, but your feet literally, if you try to swing a golf club, it doesn't make sense. But yeah, they make the best slippers slash sandals out there. So is the robe flannel? Is it plush? Is it thick? is it short regular length on all of them two tau like ones thicker tau like ones one light blue with ath in white one white plain that was my first one that breaks you in I have one that is black that is like kind of state of the art has a hood on it and like fits properly, towel-y on the inside, kind of cotton, regular cotton on the outside.

1:24:33I did a gig at the Mershon Auditorium in Columbus, Ohio, which is on the campus of The Ohio State University. And they, without even knowing my robe game, just so happened, or maybe they got tipped off by an assistant or something, but they made me a custom Ohio State robe. Wow. with my name, like jersey style on the back with a number 25. Cause that was the year that I did the, uh, the gig. So that's one of my new favorites. Do you have a purple one? No, not a purple one. Just asking. Yeah. What's your story robe? No. Who knows? Who knows? Maybe one will be knocking at my doorstep any day now.

1:25:20Would I wear a, what's your story robe? You're damn right.

1:25:29Yeah. How about you? You in the robe world? I do have many robes. Yes. Actually, I do. It's one of the finer things in life. Yes. I do enjoy a good robe. It's kind of like at the end of the day, when you kind of have everything that you need, a robe is the final. It's the final boss of making it. It's a little cozy. It really is. Yeah. Especially on a day like yesterday in Austin. Cold, rain. Oh, it's just the options are incredible. I mean, you can go outside. You can go inside. Yeah. You can turn on the sauna. You could flip on the sauna. Yep. And wear it into the sauna and then take it off in the sauna.

1:26:07Throw it on the bench across from you. Yep. And it'll still be there for you. It'll still be there for you. Does it get too, are we still talking about moist? Oh, this is great. In the wet sauna or is it only the dry sauna? It's a dry sauna. Okay. But the catch is, is if you put it on after you've been sauning, before the shower, that's it. Then it goes into the hamper. Because you've now sweat and said clean plushy robe. Yeah. So that, it happens. And then it gets washed. The good news is you have four or five backups in the rotation. I have one. You have one robe? Oh, that's unacceptable. For shame.

1:26:50what do you have to do keep it clean the whole time yeah it's a full-time job no no way one robe yeah i mean what are you a handmaiden constantly just churning this robe every day essentially yes actually is that the right word handmaiden what is that i don't even know what that is a laundress yeah feel bad for me one road the old daily robe cleaner over here time to brush your teeth and clean your robe and get the day started get it fresh and ready for the evening time that's how you know you made it robes it's a little fun fact some people think it's jets or limos no it's really the robe it's really the robe your robe game it's huge at a hotel they gotta figure it out they give you a robe there I think we need to make a championship belt robe that's a great idea really a whole line of WWE robes would be a wild success why don't we have that there is something there that's what I'm saying you know something you know what I brought with me speaking of which I've seen Triple H do a little thing with Sam Roberts where they open new wrestling cards together.

1:28:17Did you guys give this to him to do? No. Topps is going to be very excited. Oh. This is Topps. This is probably worth a lot of money, actually. Yeah. That's why I was like to open that. 1987. Holy cow. Wait, Google this real quick. Make sure I'm not an idiot for opening this up. Yeah, you might. It should not. 1987, Topps chewing gum featuring WrestleMania III nine picture cards. One sticker, there's a stick of bubble gum. Can you imagine how hard that piece of gum is? I know. I can feel it. It's like cement. I feel like I should open it. Yeah, I'm just kidding. This seems like the magical time to do it.

1:28:55It's your pass. We're opening in 1987. All right. So let's see what we have here.

1:29:05Wow, look at that gum. You have a shot at that? Wait, let's, can we. Oh, there's many. Or it's broken up. It broke up into pieces. And there's... It actually smells good. Because it's sugar. Yeah, it still smells like bubble gum. It does. It does still smell like bubble gum. Okay, we have the ref turned wrestler. Danny Davis. Do you know that one? Danny Davis. Smirking Danny Davis prepares for a match. Banned for life as a referee. Davis became a wrestler under manager Jimmy Mouth of the South Heart. Okay. Oh, American made Hulk Hogan. That's a good one. There he is. Yeah. American made. That's a real one.

1:29:49That's a real one. See, that could be worth as much as the whole thing. Could. Could very well. Double drop kick. Oh, this is kind of like, it's not exactly just people. The Can-Am Connection. Rick Martel and Tom Zank strike with a double drop kick. No tag team is better at working together than these two handsome wrestlers. I don't know. Yeah, check these out. Outback Jack. I don't even remember this guy. You don't? No. Wild buffaloes are tough blokes. I figure if I can pin one of them, well, mate, I can pin a lot of blokes in the WWF.

1:30:28Outback Jack. Look at that one. Yeah. No, I remember Outback Jack. You remember Outback Jack? Yeah. We got a real British bulldog, a real honky tonk man. Real honky tonk man. I mean, these are awesome cards. These are. I think I got lucky Davey Boy Smith way more than$50 he's a honky tonk man amazing I'm cool I'm cocky I'm bad who do you think these people are I don't know that's amazing so random that must be like a misprint or something no you know what I bet it goes to like a puzzle I bet certain parts create you know yeah wow that's brilliant but then there are people in the background imagine if you're you're one of them you did yeah it's great it's awesome I grabbed it on my way out the door I saw it in a drawer like oh that'll be fun that's very cool I almost totally forgot about it no yeah it's just in my pocket

1:31:46well Tony I can't thank you enough for coming and doing this I would talk to you all day I know we had a lot of fun last night you guys are awesome to have and you're always of course welcome back anytime here in Austin let's do it again come to MSG when we're there in August if you can. That would be great. We'll have some fun. Thank you so much. And we'll help you book Rick.

1:32:18Only if he comes with the four flight attendants. I mean, Triple H was unbelievable on my show, by the way. He's funny. He's so funny. He's so quick and he's so funny. Hilarious. And I don't know why I was surprised because he's been hilarious my entire life. Yeah, people don't remember how funny he is. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because he's, you know, he's all the big boss now. Yeah. He really showed it off there. He's hilarious. He's so funny. Him and Carrot Top were a great little duo. What a great duo. With all his props. You know what's weird is I was in a commercial with Carrot Top. Really? Yeah.

1:32:54I actually had to mention to Paul before he did your show. I'm like, so just remember there's a scene in that commercial where Carrot Top massages my feet. if anyone brings that up like I just want you to know that happened hilarious it's a real thing but yeah no one no one brought it up perfect now he will when was that commercial a long time ago I think I had that as one of my cards yeah it was a 1-800-C-A-L-L-A-T-T commercial I feel like we need to look that up Smackdown And he's massaging your feet? Well, at the end, it was like a button at the end. But it was random. It was funny. Oh, there it is.

1:33:41Wow. Oh, my God. Yeah. See, 1-800-C-A-L-L-A-T-T. Just relaxing with some champagne. Yeah. So I think I was getting a massage, and then he sneaks in there. And then this is like the end. Yeah, I know. I'm so young. I'm such a baby. Wow. Carrot Top's pretty young too right there. Yeah. Yeah. He's ripped. Wow. God, time flies, huh? I'm just not kind always. You actually look basically the same. I'm in the distance. I don't know if you've seen Carrot Top lately.

1:34:25It's a little bit different on Carrot Top's side. His hair's a little longer. Carrots, I guess, go bad faster.

1:34:36Thank you very much. You guys are the best. Thank you. Thank you. Tony Hinchcliffe, everybody. Thank you so much.