Do We Really Need A Summer Body?

0:14Romesh Ranganathan:Welcome to the Wolf and the Email Special. We do listening questions and queries and we try to help out if we can. Nathan got the answers. Tom Davis and Ramesh Ranganathan got the answers. Could you stop at the Wolfernal station? We'll try our best to give you information. And integration to the Wolfernal for you. So do your shoelaces up and pull your trousers up. OK, great. That was a, you reminded me a little bit of when those guys did Mysterious Girl on X Factor. Oh, my God. Move your buddy. Come on, jigg your buddy. Can I say, for the next football talk, I wasn't going to talk about this. I'll try to.

1:07No more of these cheap, shitty football songs.

1:09Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. Let's get this out in the open. We got Bellingham. It's coming back. I'm telling it. Why do you hate it so? I loathe it. Why? Because I just find it so fucking egg. Aren't football songs supposed to be egg? No. Football's coming home. Three Lions. World in Motion. have something to it. Like, the dance, I look, I get it. You know what? I just found it really irritating. Do you know why? I want to tell you, the person who ruined it. It's calming home, we're telling them. That's the bit that I found the worst. The shoulder. The thing I found so... Oh yeah, that was bad. The kick. Oh, yeah, yeah.

1:49There's a guy who was in maths and he has done it before every game and it got to the point where I was like, and we've not talked about the World Cup, on here because it's not a football podcast but he was doing it before every match and it got to the point I was like I just hope we go out now I can't have him doing this again and for some reason I was horror watching I can't remember his name

2:13Romesh Ranganathan:I think this is an interesting side of your character because people sort of think you're very happy go lucky and you are but occasionally things really wind you up inanimate objects wind me up okay that's a harsh way to describe this guy but what Oh, we got Bellingham. It's coming home, we're telling them. We're Englishmen in New York. We talked about this guy last time. Oh, we've got Harry Kane. And he's going to score again. We're Englishmen in New York. I can't, I don't follow him. He's one of these people. What irks me is it's like, it doesn't feel like, it feels like, it's like a real drama school performance.

2:53It's all sort of, you know, I'm like, fucking settle down.

2:58Romesh Ranganathan:There is something that's been quite... One of the positives, I think, about the World Cup is it has had a unifying effect, hasn't it? Do you know what I think? In what sense? We are probably more divided than we have been for a long time as a nation. And that felt like... Whenever you have something like that, I felt like the same about the London 2012 Olympics. Yeah, yeah. It's like it injects a little bit of... You know, I feel sorry for people that want to be nationally proud but feel like that has been compromised by discrimination or whatever you want to call it, you know, politics or whatever.

3:37Romesh Ranganathan:And so when you have the World Cup actually, somebody like you, who I would describe as a fiercely proud Englishman, right? You might be, but you're also very sensitive and open-minded and you know, I think you don't like the other things that can be attached to that yeah of course so then I could imagine you going I feel a bit uncomfortable about how patriotic I can appear yeah I think because it has certain connotations but also there is what is England and England is a diverse country yeah that's the thing you're proud of especially when you watch that team go out and play yeah the diversity but going but going but my I have more like the the thing I have with it is that you know I think the negative connotations which are you know and you're right i think it bonds everyone and people like you know what's lovely is you know one of the games you're sitting there and you've got my my mom and dad grace is watching my wife my family yeah and you're watching together and then you're going out you're chatting to people who've all sat up and watched it and it's a really nice feel like you first are coming together um you're also aware though in a very cynical way of how long is that even going to last you know you're aware that the thing that really painstakingly was a a woman in my office who was going to watch the semi-final at a place and i was like and she's american and i said listen you know you need to make sure you know just be careful because all of this evaporates very quickly when we lose and it and it always will and that's the thing having seen it and been around it when when england lose it's not a nice thing and that's the thing that actually the coming together unity and all that which which is really really enjoyable it's forgotten very quickly and then you're how do we bottle this and how do we try and move forward with this as a thing uh and you you think that and you watch someone like you know juve bellingham you know you feel massive pride in watching someone like juve bellingham and what it means for juve bellingham to go out and and what he then represents for the country and then you hope that that's not just going to be something that is a six-week window window every four to two to four years and i think the thing the thing that really for me that is most apparent is how yeah, how you turn around and go okay, look, this is how things should be.

5:54It's nice. It's like it is nice when you're in England and everyone's behind the team and everyone's into the team and it feels like there's something that's bonding everyone. And let's not be naive. There's still the people who are trying to, you know, pull that apart and twist that and whatever. That's always going to happen. But for the majority of people, that's a nice thing. it all just makes me sad when that's over and it's not just over like a week later it's very spontaneous

6:21Romesh Ranganathan:but that's why I think it's really important I think people need to remember is that like what you can all get behind is oh we got bell in them it's coming home we're telling them by the way the guy singing it right big fan great for him but I'm like you know and look well done you've come up with a cheeky little song but these raps and Jack Skipper and Jake I don't remember Jake's they made a piss take one but they sort of like they're always there's one guy that I'm watching doing it and I'm like I can't rap I never will be able to rap but he's literally just I'd love to try and find him to show you I'm like none of these rhymes and it's not like go back and watch someone who could actually go to a beat put together some work Fleur East has done amazing ones I saw that Yeah, I've shared it quite a lot.

7:17Fleur East, shout out. One of the best things about this World Cup was Fleur East.

7:20Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. You said it was between Fleur East and Messi for you, wasn't it? This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. This episode is brought to you by eBay Live. First, you're just watching eBay Live.

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8:28Romesh Ranganathan:Right, should we look at some emails? This has been, yeah, sorry, that was... Like and subscribe, please. Okay, dear... Like and subscribe and write in. Dear Wolf and Al, our wolfalpod at gmail.com. And this could be you. I'm about to read out. Could be you. Dear Wolf and Al, I've never been the most, the fittest or most handsome guy. I've never been the most confident either. Every year we put the obligatory family holiday to Mallorca or Costa del Sol. And every year I beat myself up that I haven't spent the interim working out or buying the most stylish of clothes in preparation for my half-naked days spent by the pool.

8:59Romesh Ranganathan:After hearing your podcast, I realised all men of a certain age feel the same way. And yes, there'll be the odd Uber dad with muscles rippling. But most of us are just normal people trying to make the most of our hard-earned time I'm crisping up in the sun. This is just a small, genuine, heartfelt thank you. Thank you for providing me with the entertainment through my headphones poolside. Thank you for letting me know that it's okay to be me. God bless you both and every success you have in life is a small win for normal people like me who have normal issues and hang-ups. Yours faithfully, the slightly red Irish wolf hound.

9:30Romesh Ranganathan:That's lovely, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, it's slightly awkward there. I was just slapping my leg and you thought I'd start in a round of applause. Oh yeah, I thought it was a little round of applause for a sweet email. Tom, would you like to tackle this? Someone sent me a picture recently, actually, of me on a lad's holiday. And in all the pictures, all my mates are sort of topless, and I'm in a T-shirt by the pool. I think I'm trying to think when I start. I think, if I'm going to be quite honest, I think when I carried a bit of weight, I was just like, oh, fuck it, no one really cares. I'm an overweight guy, and I probably just thought, if I've got a couple of beers in my hand, I'll fall into a stereotype.

10:04I think, really, with Catherine and stuff, I think I've cared less. not the cared less I just don't I think as well you realise that no one's actually for the most part no one's looking around at the pool for someone to be horrible about and if they are they're the c*** do you know what I mean and I think that's the hard truth so I think for the most people as this gentleman's saying I think you're like yeah everyone just you don't want to be sort of staring at I think everyone hopefully for the most and yeah you'll get that you know the guy that last year that I was on holiday with he probably got stared at more than anyone He was an incredible body, beautiful tattoos.

10:41Every day wore these really lovely black trunks. Good looking guy. Caused some ruptures around the pool, let me tell you. And he could dive. Sounds like you might have been watching him quite a lot. Behind some mirrored sunglasses. No, but also you don't want to pass on your anxieties and phobias onto your kids.

11:05Romesh Ranganathan:No, I mean that's a big thing. but I think that actually, and I think we've said this before, but the truth is, and this is something you'd like to really get your head around, nobody gives a fuck what you look like on holiday. Nobody gives a shit. Everybody is worrying about their holiday, right? And understandably so. So the idea that anybody is paying you any mind at all for what you look like or whatever, they don't give a crap. And actually, it's weird, it's a form of narcissism. It's a reverse form of narcissism to be really focused on how you look and stuff. People do not care. We had someone in our group of friends who's not someone we associate now with for a number of reasons, but that person was someone we'd be around who would be quite evil and quite mean about people.

11:53You'd be away or, you know, if you're out for dinner or whatever, they'd find people to be horrible about it. Not people watching. We all do that. We'd be like, you know, and I think that always set me about being like, oh shit, is that what? and then put it in your head yeah put my but also that i made a sort of think oh people are like that and then since that and since sort of seeing what that person is really about and getting a close look insight into to them i kind of was you know what the thing is for the most part you it's probably one of the most unhappy human beings i've ever known and the way that they seek happiness is being quite mean and being quite horrible and then actually you go well I'd sooner be the person you're laughing at who's just happily sitting by the pool or jumping in the pool and not really thinking about it rather than someone sitting by the pool and just being nasty and vicious.

12:42And actually, that viciousness and that nasty, that's just a sort of way of looking across at other people, being happy and having a good time and just there's almost an air of jealousy. So I think that was a life lesson for me.

12:55Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I mean, I think that like, it's slightly unfortunate that when I said nobody gives a shit, A, you look like you've immediately give me a story contradicting that completely so it slightly undermines my advice um i'd love it if you give me a bit of distance before completely collapsing what i said i can't i can't speak no no no you gotta speak the truth you gotta speak your truth but yeah i would say yeah i i think that you do get people like that but you know but the thing is just like i think blokes get caught up in this thing of like and i know women do as well but i'm talking about from a man's point of view here blokes get caught up in this thing of like you've got to look absolutely ripped when you go on holiday but but but like the thing is i think to myself well why if you're happy how you are right what is what what is the what is the tangible benefit of looking ripped on holiday is your like what why are you doing that because you want people to what admire your body or whatever i just don't like that logically psychologically i don't think it's a healthy thing to aim for do you know i mean it's it's like i sort of think the only person i the only person whose opinion i care about that really is mine and lisa's right and if we are both okay with how i look yeah then i don't think who gives a shit do you mean like and and by the way i'm saying that like it's really easy but but the the addition to your happiness by caring less what people think about you looks wise behavior wise all of that the addition to your happiness and contentment is is so huge but you think about like the number of times you've not worn something that's a bit out there because you're worried about being embarrassed about it or the number of times you've you've not enjoyed yourself at a water park because you're worried about how your body looks it's all these things where experiences have been damaged and ruined because of your perceived understanding of how people are looking at you how people are judging you yeah who gives a fuck and like and and like you i just think the net there is no net gain from doing that i i just think it's frustrating to me because i feel guilty of i'm guilty of it but you could add so much to your happiness and contentment in life by liberating yourself and and it's as easy as going you could wake up tomorrow morning and go i've decided i don't give a fuck what anybody thinks about me right and and if you manage to do that you'd be i'm telling you like i just believe you'd be so much happy in everything you do do you mean it's like 100 and i think by the way this is very Bartlett you're on Stephen Bartlett and I'm in well I mean I just think it's like I sort of think about say for example like you are somebody I look up to fashion wise like I really like what you wear and stuff like that and there are times when you wear something that's like unusual or out there right that is something that there is a pressure to not do that do you know what I mean like sometimes you might wear something that you think you buy something that you think is really cool and then you're about to get, I've had that thing where you buy something that's a bit out there.

16:16Romesh Ranganathan:Have you ever had this where you're about to leave and you look in the mirror and you go, I don't know if I can pull this off. Do you know what I mean? I had it with the socks today. These socks? Yeah. See, the socks are fantastic. But then I'm more so there's a part of, we had a comment recently on one of our videos that we put out, one of our, and someone put, why the fuck would anyone listen to advice for a guy who's wearing a denim beanie? I was like, but why, why, yeah. You know when you just like. Do you know when, when I do when I go and do the Saturday show on Radio 2 if I get a comment on a social like when they post a social video of like if I get a comment from somebody going why is he wearing that I consider that a victory yeah because I just sort of think like as soon as you're wearing something remotely kind of nice somebody will go looks like he's wearing his curtains yeah but then without being it's like I was walking walking here I was walking through Common Garden and thought these builder lads walked past me, bearing in mind I'd worked in that world for a long time and they walked past and all three of them were dressed in exactly the same clothes, right?

17:17Not a uniform, just the same, okay, we're safe in this look and they walked past and they looked me up and down and I went, pink trainers and them socks and they sort of guffawed amongst themselves. I was like, yeah, you're just all completely, you're confined by a look that, yeah, you've got, oh, we feel safe in this. It's sort of an air of bravery and sort of, yeah. By the way, you know, you're talking about someone who's ripped all I can think of is Ned Flanders yeah Ned Flanders is the most beige so ripped but when Ned Flanders takes his top off you're like he's hiding that all the year round on holiday but then Ned Flanders you go fucking look at his body go over and have a chat and go hey by the way it's worth that dickhead yeah I'd rather be homo

17:59Romesh Ranganathan:so anyway in answer to your question in answer to your email I'm glad that we've helped out in some way but I would push it even further than that and like stop giving a shiny shit I wish I could take that advice yeah unfortunately I'll end this podcast and immediately become neurotic about what I'm wearing today but anyway you look nice today thanks man thanks so much actually your socks are cool as well thank you actually Cass is dead socks are they yeah hi Wolf and Ow Swan and Cat these two months have been leading up to my first set of final solicitor exams that I now don't feel totally ready for but in any case I've achieved devouring at least 70 % of your episodes and counting.

18:40It's always time well spent laughing like a mad woman while I listen to you two. What's the furthest you've gone to procrastinate or distract yourself from something important? Thanks for all the giggles that distracted parakeet. Parakeet. I'm a terrible, at times I can be an awful procrastinator. I would tell you now, I've had 12 deadlines for the book and the procrastination that I have done, and by the way, The editor of my book is one of the loveliest men and is an absolute fucking diamond. And he listens to this podcast. But I would tell you, I've never felt less, it's important. I want to write it.

19:21I really want to do a good job. I don't know. It's the only thing I've ever done in my life where I write anything I write. When you say deadlines,

19:29Romesh Ranganathan:deadlines for the finished product. Yeah. You've missed 12 of those. Yeah. Or like 12 beats of like... 12 stages of that process. I miss it more the time. Fine. Because every time I write something, I'll go back to it and delete it. I literally, if I was to show you the document, it's an empty one because there's nothing, I literally sit, write, go, oh, that's good and go back and read it and go, who would fucking read this? Who the fuck would read this? And that's been now two years. Yeah. And I will, most things I'm pretty good. If I'm writing a script, I have a way of sitting down and I'll, you know, I'm tracked in.

20:06If I'm doing stand-up stuff, if I'm going through performance, with that, I cut a tree down the other day. I literally, there's a tree in my garden and Catherine was like, what do you think of that tree in the garden? And I was like, yeah, I mean, I haven't really thought about it. I'm just trying to do this stuff on the book. And she was like, okay. And then I went, actually, you know what? I'll do something about it. And then I Googled and spent like the morning or sort of a couple of hours looking at how I best take this tree down because the tree was dead. and then spent the rest of the day cutting it down, ordering a skip.

20:40Then the next day filled the skip with the tree and then loads of other shit in the garden. I spent two or three days just doing gardening and then went back to my laptop and thought, I don't know what I'm doing. I have no idea what the fuck this is. So my procrastination of the book is by far like, if I could now just get someone to come up to me and go, okay, this is what you've got to do, I'll go okay cool I have no idea what I'm doing and every time I do something and I don't mean I'm not saying this but I literally sit there and go oh this oh I found the thing I'm worst at

21:26Romesh Ranganathan:my attitude towards procrastination has changed a little bit like I am so I'm writing a stand-up tour at the moment and next year all dates nearly sold out pretty much almost yeah I've still got a lot of dates on sale a lot of tickets to be sold is it possible for me to talk about my tour without you re-plugging yours yeah but you'll tell can I just say I know you've been at stand up and you're fucking a big dog I'm not a big dog you are but like how soldier strong it is my stand up is the second half of this year I'm still hustling to sell tickets yours is fucking next year and all I see is sold out dates I'm like oh this guy there's a level difference there's no level you know like people go oh you're gonna do any promo for your stand up I was like this fucking guy doesn't need it I do second night of the O2 needs selling we've got 350 tickets that need selling and whole and whole yeah oh whole yeah fucking whole if you're wondering which of mine need selling go on the website all of them anyway when I used to write a stand up I used to build in to my days that I would get distracted, right?

22:36Romesh Ranganathan:Right. And then I started getting frustrated with the fact that I was getting distracted. I was like, this is eating too much time. And then I got annoyed in my brain for allowing myself to, you know, for getting, being like scatty or ADHD, whatever you want to call it. And then I realized, or one of the things I've started trying to do now is actually the key is, or the key for me, is to set up a set of rules where you cannot be distracted. And what I mean by that is I'm talking about extreme things like giving my phone to Lisa and saying, do not give this back to me for three hours, right? Yeah.

23:12Romesh Ranganathan:And like, and setting up a workspace and going, I don't want to be, do not, nobody come and talk to me for the, you know, whatever. And then you just sit and a lot of the time your brain is just going, you can get distracted, but there is no, but what you've got to, what I found is remove everything to get distracted by so that actually the most interesting thing to do is write stand up do you know what I mean and and I found that really works for me and and it's it's actually quite it is good it has been better and then the other thing I found is compartmentalizing how much work you're going to do versus when your day is over and what I mean by that is I used to be like if i'm writing stand-up today 10 in the morning till 6 in the evening i'm writing stand-up right the truth is that is unrealistic yeah okay because your brain will just turn to mush so now if i do for me personally it might be different for other people if i do four and a half hours of writing stand-up in a day so you but that's a great day an hour of a break an hour or yeah i'll do an i'll do like i might do like an hour but if i get carried away or if i'm in And, you know, I might do a bit longer, but I'll do an hour and then I'll just sort of take a break or go and get a drink or something like that.

24:29Romesh Ranganathan:Then come back and do it. And sometimes you can feel it. The ideas aren't, the stuff that you're thinking about isn't as good. I can feel when my brain's starting to fray around the edges. And I used to be like, no, but you've got to sit at this desk till whatever time, because otherwise you haven't made it. now it's like if I've done five if I've done five hours of writing stand-up not all in one chump if I've done five hours across the day and I'm talking about like maybe I did two hours in the morning dick around for a bit hour dick around for a bit two hours if I do four five hours I am that is a fucking great day for me and and then that means that I can then dick around and do whatever that I've earned the right to put to just shit around for the rest of the day you know I can do whatever the hell I want because that to me is a productive day but for other people it might be different but that's how I find it With scripts I can I'll sit there I'll do yeah I'll make sure if I'm writing a script seven out six out but like I'll go nine o 'clock start like you and stand up very similar like the phone goes off I don't you know I don't have any like literally this is what but the book is like because I can sit and write a script and go I know what I'm doing and at the end of the day I'll go I'll look through the script and go, that's not very good, but that's really good.

25:47Or that could work. I could do this. I could put that there. And stand up, I'll go, okay, yeah, well, I wouldn't say that. The book, I mean this, two years, I've never once sat there and gone, oh, wow, yeah, there it is. I literally will just delete everything.

26:05Romesh Ranganathan:Because I had that thing, when I wrote my first book, I would write a chapter and then I'd come back to it later and I'd delete the whole chapter. So I reckon when I wrote my first book I probably wrote two books worth of stuff do you know what I mean like I was just like but um then I I know he's a bit of a controversial figure but that that Rick Rubin that creative act book one of the things it says in that and actually one of the things it says in that about writing anything is as soon as you you have to I mean this is so wanky now but anyway but this is I've done a bit of reading you have to delay your inner critic as long as you possibly can yeah so basically the aim and this is really difficult is to write or create as much as you possibly can before you apply any kind of is this good enough thought to it or who's going to read you've got to kill that guy for a little bit or put that guy to sleep right and then you just get that shit out there this is what I've you know everything I'm saying here I can't I don't I can't do it I'm just I'm not saying I've nailed it but that person you've got to put to one side as much as you can and then once you've got it all out there then you go right what's good here do you know what i mean and that that is that that is one of the things especially as we've got like um low you know when you have low self-esteem creatively and your tastes and your abilities feel like there's a mismatch we know what we like but we don't know if we can create what we like the problem is is that as soon as you create something you go this is a piece of shit and nobody can ever see this.

27:44Romesh Ranganathan:And that is the bit you have to kind of put to sleep for a little bit, I think. Yeah. Or, you know, I think the easiest thing is to get a ghostwriter. I can't fucking do that. Maybe. And I think if you do, don't tell me or anybody on this podcast. Okay. Should we go to the next question? Sweet Rummy Scummy, you're up. Hello, fellas. I've recently been on a bit of a Muppets kick watching the recent movies from my childhood and the new show. Being 21 It's probably not the most common interest, but it's probably because my late mother was a fan and showed me the old shows when I was growing up My mother's tiredness aside.

28:18Romesh Ranganathan:I was wondering what classic tell or movie you love Would you like to see reimagined through the lens of the Muppets? This is very specific question. Yeah, crucially which one character would be human or if I had one of your own projects Muppetified Muppetified which Muppet would play your character my dead mom would love to hear your answers I'd like to see the Godfather actually be quite cool and it's my really good shot do you know I think would be great gone Pulp Fiction oh that would be sick there'd be two sick films who would you go Godfather Kermit would have to be Michael Corleone yeah Gonzo as Godfather Vito Corleone yeah who do you keep as a human oh wow probably Diane Keaton but obviously not Diane Keaton now let's be someone else steps into that role yeah Charlize Theron Charlize Theron Jennifer Lawrence would be good yeah yeah K yeah that would be go on who would be the human role in yours Pulp Fiction Miss Piggy's got people devastated if she's not playing Uma Thurman's character yeah Bruce Willis's character I guess what's his name oh yeah Bruce Willis would be cool Zed's dead baby who the cookie monster is Ving Rhames oh Ving Rhames yeah yeah yeah that would be the show for me out of my work is very easy murdering successful for Muppets would be fucking sick yeah and then whoever is the guest would be yeah the human for mine it would probably be from my shows weakest link probably the Muppets weakest link would be amazing when you get what one episode yeah one episode I'd be the human character in it yeah we've got eight of the Muppets you should do that as a Muppets special get old Jim Henson oh yeah the Muppets are banging down our door to come on the weakest link

30:07That would be sick.

30:09Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I'd love that. I'd love to make that inquiry. You should get something. No, don't do it yourself because you'll look thirsty and a bit beggy. Get someone from production to do it. That would be fucking amazing. Yeah, it would be. It won't happen. This is the thing about it. Never say never. You could literally, if that's your dream, make it happen. Okay. It's not my dream. We're literally triggered by this email. That would be great. The Muppets, Murder and Successful I'd love. Yeah, that'd be good. Muppets and Successful yeah yeah I think again Gonzo would be a great sleep you'd be the human character no no no no no you'd have the human be the guest oh yeah yeah then finally I'd get into an episode I'd love to if we could bring it back I'd love to get you in thing is I don't know we're so close now I know yeah alright thanks motherfuckers for all your emails any more pictures or emails yeah any nudes wolfowlpod at gmail.com send them in no nudes yeah by the way thank you for everyone the nudes have really quailed now they've stopped wolfalpod at gmo.com we'll see you next time bitches as if at least a baby see you later it's been the wolf and ow yeah honey