Dogs At Restaurants, Role Play & Retirement

0:15Romesh Ranganathan:Welcome to the Wolf and Al email special. WolfAlpod at gmail.com if you want to send us anything in. This is where we listen to your questions, we look at your problems, dilemmas and we offer whatever help we can. You divulge into your lives in a way that's not creepy and... I don't think I gave an interrupt signal there. You always do. You do this. And shall we crack on... Your voice slows ever so slightly. Yeah. Shall we crack on with the first email, Tom? I would love that. Would you like to read it or shall I? Did Tomsky and Romsky. You're both absolute legends and I love the pod. I only discovered about it a year ago, courtesy of Ed Gamble.

0:55Shall I, Ed Gamble? That's pretty sweet of Ed Gamble, isn't it? He listens quite a lot. Does he? I'll shout out to Ed. Every now and again he texts me. He, by the way, the other day really made me laugh. We were having some barbecue-based humor. And he really, really, yeah.

1:09Romesh Ranganathan:Sounds like a had-to-be-there moment. Okay, anyway, carry on. I'm so really gutted to miss out on Ed and yours barbecue banter. Anyway, carry on. I'll tell you what, Ed would be a great barbecue guest. Yeah, I bet he would. But I'm very glad I did so. Still catching up on it all. I've got about a year's worth of pods to go my point of discussion is this isn't he going to be mad in about a year when he hears this and he goes fuck I made it my point of discussion is I like dogs I've always had one in the family growing up on a farm and spent a lot of time with him in order not to spend time with my parents make of that as you will but post COVID my love of dogs has dwindled I know both of you have have owned dogs so what do you think about dogs being present in pubs restaurants and being near the table I've been at restaurant tables recently and dogs have been barking away and close to my plate of food.

2:01I feel like it impacts the experience of enjoyment of my meal out, which isn't cheap, by the way, not to mention the hygiene questions it raises. My question is, do you think society needs to dial back on the bit where dogs have access to places where humans are eating? I'll be very interested to hear your thoughts. Love you both. You're beacons of hope and I hope you don't retire from the public eye when you're 50, Rom. I think we can all agree with that because we love Rom. We adore him. He's a beautiful human being. Lots of love. The traumatized turkey. Can we talk about this 50 thing? Yeah.

2:34By the way, every time he says it, I want to... Boo! Stick with it! You're the best! If you see Ramesh out and about, I want you to go, Don't you dare! You're the best, mate! We can't live without you! Boo! Stay on! I want to see you at 55 and 60 and 65!

2:49Romesh Ranganathan:If you won't see me at 65, I'll be dead. but I think we all know that I'm not going to completely disappear at 50. I was merely... Well, you were being as dramatic. You know what I mean? I'm coming off Facebook for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a bit like that. But I was talking it out because I was seriously thinking about, you know, certain things that you won't do anymore and blah, blah, blah. So I'm just talking about it with a mate. What I didn't expect is for it to get picked up by the newspapers. Yeah, I mean, it was insane. That was the biggest, yeah. It wasn't the biggest. It was a very slow news day.

3:18No, it was hardly... Mate, the World Cup was just beginning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the day after the England game. It was how bad the England game was. Yeah, no, absolutely. Anyhow.

3:29Romesh Ranganathan:For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Trimphia offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Trimphia is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. If your doctor decides that you can self-inject Tremphaya, proper training is required. Tremphaya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions, increased risk of infections or lower ability to fight them, and liver problems may occur.

4:09Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or need a vaccine. Explore what's possible.

4:18Romesh Ranganathan:Ask your doctor about Trimphia today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit TrimphiaRadio.com. Let's talk about Peyronie's disease, or PD. It's not widely talked about, and some men may feel reluctant to bring it up, but it's more common than you'd think. PD can happen when scar tissue builds up under the skin of the penis, causing a curve or the bump during an erection that for some men may lead to pain during intimacy and impact mental health. A trusted urology specialist can help diagnose PD and walk you through your options, including non-surgical treatment. Visit talkaboutpd.com. Anyway, let's have a chat about this dog thing.

5:00Romesh Ranganathan:We're both dog lovers, aren't we? Yes, we are. I've become a member of the cat league now. Yes, you have. I'm a cat now. But I still very much like dogs. We've got a bit of a dilemma in the house at the moment. Me and Grace are both very keen on getting another dog. Catherine's quite traumatized. just she's very traumatized about what happened with the last dog yeah and understandably so that must have been hard yeah so it's quite sad and she's come to my house where they've always had dogs but anyway alas to this person's question have we humanized it I do think there's an element of when I see a dog go past in a pram that I think that that is how often is that happening there's a woman who lives near me and she's constantly walking around that's what happens when you live in affluent areas

5:48you know dogs in handbags dogs in prams um dogs in a rucksack you see on the back yeah yeah um i always think that's when they start licking the back of your head when it's sweating must be horrible um god dogs love sweat i'll tell you what else dogs love cocoa butter what oh please

6:05Romesh Ranganathan:don't tell me that you've thought of what i've got finish a sentence no that you've covered yourself in cocoa butter and let the dog's lick it off. No. Well, sort of. I regularly cover myself in cocoa butter. This will get no press. I regularly cover myself in cocoa butter. By the way, is that a thing? What? The cocoa butter thing. That's good, right? Well, I tend to moisturize top to bottom. Every day? Twice a day. What? When I wake up in the morning before I go to bed. Oh, my gosh. Do you have a shower before you go to bed? Uh, sometimes. I always have a shower before I go to bed, but I'm not moisturising.

6:42Romesh Ranganathan:What do you think about, and I'm nervous to say this, because having a shower before bed, and then not having a shower until just before bedtime the next day. No, no, no, no, I couldn't do that. That's, by the way, personal. That's just over me. I could not do that. Yeah. You don't get BO, do you? I think I do. It's funny you say that, because Lisa says I don't ever get it, but I feel like I do. Yeah. anyway sometimes in the morning when I've cocoa buttered yeah I'll come downstairs in a pair of shorts yeah and if the dogs clock onto the fact I've just cocoa buttered it's a bit of a nightmare for me are they all over you yeah and then so so so a bit it's a bit tickly a bit tickly so I have to sort get away you sit on like the kitchen island like that with your legs up leave it you bloody you horny devils but so anyway the point is i do love dogs we both do yeah i do i actually do think you've got a point about them being at restaurants i do agree one of the issues that i've got with dog owners and i'm speaking as one myself is that they assume that everybody loves dogs as much as they do and it's just not the case and some people find them frightening some people are just not into them and i think that this is a bit it's a bit different to kids it's like taking going to a restaurant, if you're a bit uncomfortable about dogs or you're not used to being around dogs, and then one's near you during your meal, I actually think you're justified to be pissed off about that.

8:13Yeah, I think that's the thing, isn't it? But then I suppose the same could be said of like, we do that with kids. I think it's a bit different as well. No, but I think sometimes I've generally taken Grace to restaurants and just as a start as been finished i think i probably should have just gone to wagamumas this is probably not the right place well so and i think i personally find that with the dog thing i think and a lot of it comes down to breed right it doesn't like if it's this cute little dog that's just quietly sitting there we went out not so long ago and we went to a pub for lunch and there was one of the most terrifying dogs i've ever seen and i was like looks can be deceptive it might be a really friendly dog so I sort of as I was going to the toilet so I sort of walked past and it sort of stood up and growled like terrifying so then you're having to go to Grace who loves dogs don't get anywhere near that dog and then you could see most of the restaurant were absolutely terrified of this like this really aggressive dog and by the way that's breed wise that's all down to owners right yeah but it completely destroyed everyone's meal everyone was so on edge that this dog might just go mad at any one point and start just devouring people yeah it was yeah So I did, but I think it's quite strict now if you go to places that aren't allowed them, right?

9:31Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. And I think, you know, regards to your point about kids, I think people with kids generally are quite self-policing. Like I think when our kids were really young, there's certain places you just go, we ain't going to go there for a while. Do you know what I mean? You know, there's certain places we just, you can see by the restaurant, this isn't the sort of place we've got to bring our kids. But sometimes you'd get it wrong and you'd think it would be okay. and then our boys, like when there was a particular time when our boys were just, they were a nightmare. You know, when you go to a restaurant.

10:00Romesh Ranganathan:And so there's a couple of times when Lisa and I'd gone to a restaurant and the kids are just being kids, right? They're just being noisy kids and you just go, actually in hindsight, we shouldn't have brought them here. On one occasion or a couple of occasions, we've sat down and we've looked around and then we decided that we shouldn't be here with the kids and so we've got up and left before we've even ordered any food. You sort of make the realization. So I think there's a bit of self-policing. With dogs, though, I think that it's, if it's a dog-friendly restaurant, I think you can't really complain too much.

10:36Romesh Ranganathan:If the establishment has decided they want to welcome dogs, and that's it. But I think if you, I do understand why you might not be comfortable about it. It's a weird thing as well, because I mentioned there about the dogs and like, spending a long time. I felt like that about my dog, like they're saying about the amount of time that I spent during COVID weirdly like and i've moved up to an area of quite a long way away from any of my family friends and everything and i spent so long me and katherine together but katherine had friends there so she quite often see her mates and i didn't really know anyone so i spent so much time with that that with our dog it was sort of like the bond between us over that covid was so tight do you mean yeah it's uh it's a very special relationship i think so and i can see because it'd be really easy to sit here and sort of totally make out people humanizing animals and dogs but i can see where actually there's there's an element of that that happens when you when you have that relationship it can become very comforting in a in a situation i lisa and i have a disagreement about a it's an ongoing point of contention how much he humanizes our dogs yeah i mean i didn't know i was never like oh he thinks this or he says that yeah oh that's true yeah it was more that i just felt comforting in being around oh i think it's right to be comforting but lisa you You know, Lisa, she loves those dogs.

11:50Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I think you're loving her dogs. I love the dogs too, but what I'm saying is like, you know, she's... Does she give them little personalities? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, they do have Bersettias. They're very different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't think they're thinking, oh, Daddy's a bit grumpy today. You know, I don't think they're thinking that. She doesn't do that for us, does she? No, thank God. Okay, yeah, I was going to say. Only when I ask. But anyway, the point is... Well, you make her call you Daddy, don't you? Yeah. We do like this little Scooby-Doo roleplay. She dresses up a Scooby-Doo.

12:21Romesh Ranganathan:She brings up like a big sandwich. She dresses up a Scooby-Doo. Won't move on me. And you dress up a Shaggy. Okay. Shall we? That's the extent of my Shaggy impression. It's the least sexy roleplay ever. Let's talk about a condition many people haven't heard of. And it turns out it's more common than you'd think. Peyronie's disease, or PD for short. PD can happen when scar tissue builds up under the skin of the penis. This can cause a curve or the bump during an erection, and for some men, lead to pain during intimacy and may impact mental health. It may also lead to anger and frustration, depression, lower self-esteem, and even withdrawal from sexual activity and physical intimacy.

13:04Romesh Ranganathan:Because of this, some men could feel embarrassed or reluctant to talk about PD. The actual cause of PD isn't always known. In some cases, it may be linked to a minor injury or repeated injuries during sex or other physical activity. The good news is, PD is treatable. If you notice a curve with a bump, a trusted urology specialist can help diagnose it and walk you through your options, including non-surgical treatment. To learn more about Peyronie's disease, visit TalkAboutPD.com. Do you hear that? Sounds like breakfast is ready. because Quaker's coming in hot with morning nutrition, 100 % whole grain oats, and a good source of fiber to fuel the rhythm of your morning and kickstart your day.

13:50Romesh Ranganathan:And that sounds absolutely delicious. Fuel to start whatever's next. Quaker, official sponsor of FIFA World Cup 26. Hi, oh, let's go!

14:06Romesh Ranganathan:Hi, Wolf Alcatanswam. Cat and Swan don't need to be addressed. I mean, we should address this. Yeah, yeah. Cat and Swan have no involvement. They're not even, I don't even think they're listening. Yeah. Does Catherine listen to this? No, I don't know. People come up to her now and say, oh my God, we heard the story the other day and she's like, I stopped listening. Yeah. After COVID. I don't think Lisa's across this. She's given up with the emails now. Yeah. John's like the new Lisa and Cat. Yeah, and speaking of John, any old shit you want to send in to wolfalpod at gmail.com, please do. pictures of you know ingrown hairs or codes that you want broken ingrown toenails yeah stuff like that he loves um cysts being ruptured i actually quite enjoy that yeah um i need some advice desperately i've been with my fiance for three years yippee a little backstory you met when she started working in a pub which is my local oh she was in a relationship and had a son we started seeing each other while she was in said relationship her ex found out and then she broke up with me.

15:06Romesh Ranganathan:A few months later we got back together after she broke up with her ex. It was like EastEnders. It took two years for her to finally make the jump and move in with me. In that time we've been together. But she was living with her ex and son. Within this time she kept me a secret from her son and her ex. Fucking hell, this is quite complicated. She moved in with me in November 2025, but she had to leave her son as he wanted to stay with her dad and not live with her. Still he doesn't know about me, nor does her ex. Oh my god. She goes round every night after work to see her son apart from Tuesdays and Saturdays.

15:39Romesh Ranganathan:She recently only just plucked up the courage to tell her ex that she is seeing someone but hasn't told him it's me. We went to Spain last... This is wild. We went to Spain last week and she had to lie to say that she went with a friend. When her son's father calls, I have to remain silent all the time. Whilst in Spain, her son asked a few questions and she had a massive panic attack and couldn't breathe. Worried about them finding out. After discussion, we decided she had to tell her ex and her son, it's me she's seeing. We got engaged on Valentine's this year. We're trying for a baby, but I feel if she can't tell her ex and son about me, it's going to either end up killing her from a panic attack or make us argue far more.

16:19Romesh Ranganathan:I'm fed up with hiding our relationship and staying silent in my own home. I also really want to try and build a relationship with her son, just like she has with mine. I want to shout about our love and put pictures up on social media and so on. Sorry for long email. the Goblin Shark. What the fuck's a Goblin Shark? I know that's not the point, but... Yeah, no, Goblin Shark sounds quite cool, though. Sounds like, yeah, Finding Nemo. What a fucking mess this is, by the way. This is crazy. Yeah. Have you ever been anyone's secret love? No, but equally, I don't think people have wanted to shout from the rooftops about me.

16:58All for...

17:05I've been, I've been someone sort of bit on the side. Yeah. I'm not massively surprised. Um, but I didn't know I was, you didn't know you were a secret. I didn't know it was a secret and a bit on the side for quite some time. Um, and it was quite a sort of, um, I remember like how I found out was terrible and then sort of kind of tried to cut things off, but then didn't. And, and, you know, sort of the relationship the person was in was quite a, um, it wasn't a particularly nice one and they were having trouble leaving and everything so i felt like i can't just then desert the person but at this point you're like and then you know then you're never too sure what's true and what's not um and it's not a very i think it kind of has an impact on your self-worth so i guess that's what's happening here you know the basis that you're um you're in a relationship and you're you're looking at moving things forward but i think it obviously feels like quite a lot of stuff is is set in a place where it feels like you know that she's hanging on to a lot of her past and and it's obviously a very it it's hard to it's hard obviously because we're reading we don't know all the details so you don't know whether that her ex has got um if there's any kind of mental health things mental health things or if or even if that she's there's a slight element of fear there and and And there's also quite this, the worry that if your son has chosen to live with her ex, her son, sorry, and then you're in a situation where she worries then, I guess, that that would have a massively detrimental effect to her relationship with her son, would she still be able to see the son?

18:38I think that the thing about more than anything is that when it comes to something like in this situation, when you're dealing with children and when you're dealing with matters of the heart like this and the relationship that you have I think you kind of at some point are going to have to be or she's going to have to be honest and I think you know if you're going to move forward you know for example if you're trying for a kid and you have a kid it's that's going to be a very hard you know thing to keep quiet that you're the new person in life and I think you know I certainly for my own um experience of this felt constantly that yeah yourself you question your self-worth you kept you questioned that you weren't really ever enough and and i always just kind of thought and this is only speaking from a personal experience is that i i sort of felt like you i was a bit of a stop gap in a situation that it was never it was just something that was just so i think um i think i'd say is i don't know but i've also you don't know unless this is in we don't know we don't know the ins and outs so it's very hard though then to push someone i'd say to get her to actually speak to someone a specialist like a therapist or someone and allow her to articulate to someone who's not yourself i wouldn't put too much pressure on her having to tell you everything she talks about a therapist but i'd say when it comes to like having something like this big that she's hiding from her child and and you know that is it's just not going to be good for her it eats away at you that stuff so I think it's it's just making sure that you're there for her you're supportive maybe speak to her about speaking to someone else and just saying look give her a bit of space to do that um but I also then would would just take a little moment for her to address where she's at with life before you start going into the next few steps of your relationship I just make sure you solidify her mental well-being your mental well-being and then you start talking about things like marriage and have another child because I just think at the moment I just just just take a beat and just say like let's just get this thing sorted let's just try and get us sorted as a couple and move forward and that's that's my advice great advice from Tommy D um I

20:48Romesh Ranganathan:don't think you're in a stable place to be pushing a relationship any further currently I I think that the relate the nature in which your relationship started was a little bit sort of covert and uh clandestine and i think that's bled into basically you're you're having an affair you know it's all of the hallmarks of an affair but it isn't and so she's gone so far down the road of not telling her ex and not telling her son that it's become bigger and bigger and bigger um it shouldn't have got this far i mean the truth is like going on holiday with your partner and keeping it a secret from her son and her ex is just a bit, um, and it, it's none of her ex's business if they don't have a child together, but they do.

21:34Romesh Ranganathan:That is what complicates the situation. Um, I think she needs to just tell them, you know, because you're trying for a kid. And the fact that she's not willing to tell her ex is, I would say is a bit of a red flag, to be honest with you. I'm not saying that she's pining for him, but I think it's just a bit, she's in a relationship with you now and I think it's very easy and I'm saying that as somebody that's done not done this specifically but who's struggled to tell people difficult things it's always best to say and you're not in control of how the other person reacts she's got to own that she's in a relationship with you now and it sounds very very serious you're engaged you're gonna have a kid or you're trying for a kid these are things that you cannot keep secret from her son.

22:22Romesh Ranganathan:So, and she's, she's actually not being very nice to not deliberately, but inadvertently not being very nice to her son and not being very nice to her, to you and not being very nice to herself. So this all gets made a lot easier by pushing this out into the open. And I think that's what she needs to do. And I think that actually there is an argument to not apply pressure necessarily, but to suggest to her that you don't feel comfortable while this is all a big secret. I think that's a fair thing to say. Or you explain what your feelings are, and then you let her react how she reacts. But the truth is it cannot be this is the current situation you're in is toxic.

23:07Romesh Ranganathan:It's not good in the slightest. So good luck to you. Hope it all goes well. Please do keep in touch.

23:17That's it, guys. Thank you for sending those in. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the wolfowpod at gmail.com. Get rid of the there, because I think that's part of the email address. You can email wolfowpod at gmail.com. Anything you need, and if it's just a personal little message for someone I like to call John, then make sure you do that too. Thanks, friends.

23:40Romesh Ranganathan:Really good that you handled the admin of that. Yeah, I feel kind of quite emotional after that last email. Yeah, me too. So we'll do another recording straight from this. I'm a bit of a miss. I have to, I've only got two t-shirts. I need to go and get another t-shirt. Well, here is, we've got a little treat for you. That's, I guess, not really a treat for anyone listening or watching, but a treat for us. Tom, you are going to decide what we wear for the next episode, aren't you? Yeah, so hold up. Am I carte blanche to push your limits? Yeah, but I don't want a full outfit. No, no, no, no, no.

24:13Romesh Ranganathan:Just the top. Carte blanche, yeah. but please get something don't get something tight no I'm not going to get anything tight but like a singlet yeah you've got carte blanche yeah but don't nothing spurs nothing too tight I'm not going to get anything spurs I'm not spending that kind of money after what happened to me and John with a bloody Arsenal shirt first of all don't pretend that you had any skin in the game poor John's been mortified by that he's so upset he doesn't look that upset now it's delighted alright well we'll see you next time wait for the first game of next season promise no no no what do you mean based on what We'll get the Premier League winners medals on there.

24:45Romesh Ranganathan:No, on the Bandagallon shirt, no. All right, see you next time in Tom's Choice.

24:57Romesh Ranganathan:Good energy in. Good energy out.

25:05Romesh Ranganathan:Storm, zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine and immunity support. Storm, energy for life. The best dancers from across the globe are about to join me for the audition of a lifetime. ABC Mondays. Do they have what it takes to compete and be the next Dancing with the Stars pro? I'm here to win. Nothing is going to stop me. Our star judges will decide. This is what hunger looks like. It was 100 % the wrong choice. Robert Irwin hosts. The next era of Ballroom starts right here on Dancing with the Stars, the next pro. All new Mondays, 8, 7 central on ABC. Next day on Hulu. Bye.