Eyebrow accidents, a lack of aura and Dungeons & Dragons

7:36Romesh Ranganathan:oh my god you know what just really hit me what is how much less attractive I am than all of the other people that Jonathan cuts their hair. Sam Thompson, Jamie Redknapp, fucking Joel Domit. And then I'm like a fucking anus polyp of those clients. I can't imagine Jonathan does anybody. Whose hair do you cut? Sam Thompson, Jamie Redknapp, Joel Domit. I heard a rumour that you cut Romer Schrein. No, no, no. I cut it once. Have you seen it now?

8:07Tom Davis:I had to cut a sample of his hair for the police.

8:11Romesh Ranganathan:Actually, he did ask me to cut his hair, but this is not worth it, so I did it blindfolded. So what, you sent him a picture of you?

8:18Tom Davis:I sent him a picture of me, and I said... Can I see the picture you sent of him? Yeah, I don't know. I just want to see what sort of face you pull, if there's any irony in this.

8:26Romesh Ranganathan:I didn't pull a face, I couldn't remember.

8:30Tom Davis:Oh, to be fair, that's all right, because you're having a joke. That's fine. If you'd done a really serious face, I'd have. So you've turned around to him, you said...

8:37Romesh Ranganathan:I sent him that photo, and I said, help. Yeah, okay. And then he said, what do you want to do? And I said, I don't know. I said, wow, that's nice. And I just said, whatever you think. That's for a hairdresser, by the way.

8:46Tom Davis:That's everything.

8:47Romesh Ranganathan:I don't know if that's good or terrible. But anyway, he said he's going to think of something. And then I'm going to have that haircut.

8:54Tom Davis:Do you shave that one side or something like that? Yeah.

8:58Romesh Ranganathan:You know, like, yeah, shave it on the side and then all flipped over. Yeah. That would look kind of sexy. Asymmetric bob.

9:04Tom Davis:Yeah, yeah. What would be the look? Because you've had some wacky looks recently. You had the sort of goatee thing, didn't you? Yeah.

9:11Romesh Ranganathan:And I have had a tash for a while with a bit of stubble, and then I got rid of it.

9:14Tom Davis:I had this for a job, by the way, with a tash.

9:16Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

9:16Tom Davis:I actually fell in love with it, and I've kept it with a bit more stubble.

9:20Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, but I'm thinking about going completely back to basics, clean shaven, shaved head. No. What do you mean, no? Yeah, I don't...

9:26Tom Davis:I mean, no. I'd love to see it, but... What do you mean, no? Because you've got hair and gorgeous hair. No, but I mean, like, really short. Yeah, fucking sad. Don't get aggy. Yeah, I do get aggy, because you've got hair. I haven't got that luxury to go, oh, yeah, you know, I'll just shave it all off. You've got beautiful... Can you put a little bit of violin underneath this? You've got beautiful hair. It's, by the way, one of your, I'd say it's in your top five attributes. What are the other four? Your nose. You've got a nice, strong nose. Your mouth. I think your mouth's nice. Your ears.

9:55Romesh Ranganathan:Don't just name stuff you're looking at. No, I'm just going for your eyebrows. I trimmed these recently. Yeah, can I say your eyebrows are actually... All right, do you trim your eyebrows? Yeah, of course. So I hadn't been doing it. What? I hadn't been doing that. You've never trimmed your eyebrows? I've had it done. Does Jonathan not do them? Yeah, he doesn't. Yeah, I was going to say.

10:13Tom Davis:But I've not seen Jonathan for a long time. Okay. So... But the character you're playing in the play would have those sort of wispy...

10:18Romesh Ranganathan:Were they starting to turn up? They were starting to turn up, but it's like... Like, every now and again, I'd rub my face, and then one of the eyebrow hairs would come into view. Fucking hell, that is... Yeah, you get those... That is too long.

10:30Tom Davis:That's a teacher's look, by the way. Yeah. So anyway,

10:33Romesh Ranganathan:trimming your eyebrows is actually quite difficult.

10:35Tom Davis:Yeah.

10:36Romesh Ranganathan:You did it yourself. That's crazy. They look so strong. You think so? Yeah. You've got really strong eyebrows. I don't want to get too, I don't want to get too sort of, I say too boring. I think that ship has sailed. But your eyebrow hairs, I ran a beard trimmer across them.

10:50Tom Davis:Yeah.

10:50Romesh Ranganathan:Because the hair is so thin and lies so flat. It's actually very difficult to do.

10:54Tom Davis:Yeah, you've been careful because I tried that and I ended up having little lines here, you know, like I was trying to...

10:59Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, that was an accident.

11:03Romesh Ranganathan:What, the two little dashes here? Did you notice when I had that? What? That wasn't that long ago. You think that was an accident? You want to pass it off as an accident? Yeah, I was experimenting. You were trying something, weren't you? Yeah. Just be honest. Yeah, I was trying something. So what look were you trying to emulate when you did that? When you haven't got hair, you try different things. Express yourselves in different ways.

11:25Tom Davis:So I look from my hairline down and thought, where's the next? What can you do with the hair that you've got? Where's the next stop? yeah and I thought maybe I'll just have a little like a sort of abs from five Nick is that really what happened yeah and then what did Catherine say she to be fair I've got very faint eyebrows right so she didn't know she didn't really know you still got a bit of a neck really can you see it yeah yeah yeah

11:51Romesh Ranganathan:yeah is it still there yeah okay I'd say it's still there what the fuck made you do that i think the glasses are hiding it now right yeah but why are you doing i'm fucking covering up the nick you you know you're saying to me that i'm getting more comfortable you're getting you're going the opposite way by the way what do you mean you're sort of shrinking into yourself you're putting your hat down you're moving your glasses eventually you're just going to be like you're going to form some sort of you get into the fetal position by the end of this

12:16Tom Davis:episode there's a nick can you what do you think when you see in the nick what do i think when i

12:21Romesh Ranganathan:see the neck i think it must have had an accident yeah that's i mean i'm being well i've been honest

12:26Tom Davis:with you now. I've told you this situation and now I'm regretting it. I should have just said I'd nicked it at you. Yeah.

12:32Romesh Ranganathan:It's fine. We all try stuff. Yeah. Here's a question for you. What would you do? Okay, this is, I am now, I was thinking of, I don't know if I can say this out loud. I'm actually, now my reaction is making it sound bigger than it is. I was considering having highlights put in my hair. I thought you were going to say a ponytail. No. Highlights? Yeah. Okay, so can I just talk to you about my ongoing... Blonding or... No, I don't know. Like a mousy brown? I don't know. I was sort of just dabbling with the idea. But this is where I'm at right now in my life. I just want to talk to you about this. I want to get your take on it.

13:10Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, okay. Okay, please.

13:11Tom Davis:Yeah. It's bleak, by the way. So can I just say, it's not lost on me that you are at the moment talking about highlights. You could have a ponytail. Yeah. The furthest I could push the boat out is nicking... A line in my eyebrow. And I felt like crazy for that. You know when I was growing my hair with you? Who's the woman in Greece? You're Sandy and who's her friend? Fizzy or something like that who sort of hangs around with her. Fizzy? What's her name? Rizzo? Rizzo. That's who I feel like. You're Sandy and I'm Rizzo. You're like, oh my God, I put on this black outfit. I felt absolutely beautiful.

13:51Tom Davis:and I'm like, oh, I took a nick out of my eyebrow. Yeah, all right, Beersel, like anybody's going to notice. Anyway, you're the first person to ask that. Go on. Okay.

14:02Romesh Ranganathan:So when I was growing my hair really long, I was really struggling with making it look, I mean, I'm really letting you be on the couch. This is sort of embarrassing. I was really struggling with making it look passable as it's growing out, right? Yeah. You showed me a nice picture of you earlier. When? Just earlier when you had your long hair.

14:23Tom Davis:I thought that was a nice picture.

14:24Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. So anyway, I was trying to sort it out. And then eventually I became obsessed with, not obsessed, obsessed with exaggeration. But I was doing different things. Like, I was trying different ways of shampooing my hair. I was trying different hair products. It started to become a, I'm going to be honest with you, I've not talked about this publicly. It started to become a bit of a thing. Okay. Eventually, I've not said this. I started following what I found on the internet, which is called the curly girl method. Okay. What's the curly girl method? The curly girl method is like you don't shampoo every day.

15:02Romesh Ranganathan:I think it's like a four or five day cycle. You put the product in your hair, you let it form a cast, then you break the cast by crushing it. So I was doing that for a bit, right? Wow. Nobody noticed. Why should they? And then it got to the point where I thought, I'm a fucking 47-year-old father of three, and whenever I was doing this, I can't spend this long getting... It's not right that I'm spending this long. So now I'm thinking, I want to do something. So this is the thing. Men of our age, right? You want to look good still, right? You want to look good. But you don't want it to look like you've tried to look good, right?

15:42Tom Davis:Like, yeah, taking a nick out of your eyebrows.

15:44Romesh Ranganathan:But what I'm saying is I look at Theo, and obviously, you know, he's 16, right? Yeah. He can do whatever the fuck he wants, right? Of course. Because whatever adaptations or whatever concessions he makes to fashion or his hair or whatever, you'd go... And we've been those. Yeah, of course. But he, because we're his parents, and he doesn't have the parents that I had, he is able to express himself however he wants. Like, whatever decision, like, you know, if he wants to get his ears pierced, that's fine. and whatever he wants to do with his hair is fine with us, right? So there's a bit of envy there at your kid, right?

16:20Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. For us, I think if you look like you're doing too much, no matter how much it suits you, it looks a bit sad. Do you know what I'm saying?

16:32Tom Davis:Yeah, I mean, I look at, yeah, I've got a couple of friends that I noticed recently on Instagram who have been overly doing a look and trying to trying to look a lot younger yeah which is weird saying that because you know I think now I notice I make jest about being bald but I am constantly like how do you because once you're bald you're bald there's nothing else you can do with your hair

16:59Romesh Ranganathan:but you look great

17:00Tom Davis:yeah but do you know I will tell you now there's not a day that goes by that I don't just wish I had hair just one more run at that fucking horse it'd just be like seriously like when you're talking about all your different the idea of going for a swim and just popping your head out of the pool and all you're just flicking your hair back christ i used to love

17:19Romesh Ranganathan:that i think you might be romanticizing this a bit like can i i don't want to sort of burst your bubble yeah but you coming out of a pool with long hair and flicking your hair out of your face i don't think it'll look how you seem to be thinking it's gonna look

17:41Tom Davis:I think you

17:45Tom Davis:I think you might be romanticising it a bit

17:54Romesh Ranganathan:yeah but it's nice to romanticise but so going to your hair right yeah so the point I'm trying to make is the reason I said about shaving it off and like cutting my hair short is I started to think maybe I've now got to the age where you just got to go just look smart your days of fucking around with how you look are behind you now do you know what I mean but you did the nails thing for a while I did and the only reason I'm not doing it at the moment is the play but even that I'm talking about that even that is that a bit mad at my age in your 20s that's cool to be doing shit like that but in your 40s like getting your nails done yeah but also I'm not talking about as a male

18:29Tom Davis:but that's the other thing generation can I say I come from a background where everyone, even, all joking aside, even when I was in my 20s, right, late teens, I used to joke, we wore a uniform. Yeah. As lads that went out, that if you step slightly away from the shirt, jeans, Patrick Cox wannabes, the same haircut almost, like as soon as sort of basically someone broke away from curtains, long curtains and went for a French crop and a skinhead, everyone just did that. The idea of breaking against a fucking, you know, a shot jacket in the winter, That's literally what all of it, you know, everyone was.

19:05Tom Davis:And I did try quite a lot to break away from that. And I try and, you know, the leather trousers incident or whatever else. You know, I remember getting a fur jacket from an old market store in Camden, whatever. Like I tried different things and I got relentlessly bullied for that. But I used to find it, you know, but for the most part, I dressed like everyone else dressed.

19:24Romesh Ranganathan:Now I would describe you as quite fearless.

19:27Tom Davis:Yeah, no, but that's come through later age. But also, I probably had a bit more of a, you know, my life wasn't necessarily just the world and the people I had surrounded myself from most of my life, you know, from my core group of friends. I did other things. I'd surround myself with people from hippies and people from different backgrounds. And I'd always look at people and think, oh, that's a cool thing to wear. I've got to say when it comes to clothes the idea of dressing my age and going on I'm going to dress like I had a lunch over there with Jamie Redknapp he came out he looks absolutely insane when did you have lunch

20:04Romesh Ranganathan:with Jamie Redknapp?

20:05Tom Davis:I hadn't seen him for a while he was in the area I've not seen him for fucking ages you saw him more recently than me he was on your podcast he came in for a fucking podcast he was wearing the same thing he wore on the podcast nice blue cardigan white t-shirt lovely boots nice trousers he looks so well turned out and I thought but that's not why that's not I feel comfortable dressing and stuff like you you I'd say you've got a look now where I look and go but the minute you stop going I'm going to cut my hair short I'm going to conventionally grow my beard so it's not too long and it's great that you're 47, 48 and you're not scared to do different things and try different things

20:49Romesh Ranganathan:I think it's a bit I don't think but why I think it could be argued that it's a bit. But why? Those times are behind us. You and I... Billy Connolly. Next year... Look at Billy. Next year... Look at Billy Connolly. You and I should wear suits for this.

21:04Tom Davis:I'll wear a suit for one.

21:06Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, I'll wear a suit for one.

21:07Tom Davis:I'll wear a suit. Billy Connolly, Robin Williams. Richard Pryor wasn't... You didn't see Richard Pryor all of a sudden just dressing like, you know, oh shit, I'm 40. I better just stick on my fucking zip up top. It's like... Push it, man. And you're an entertainer. By the way, you're in the theatre land now. Don't start this. You're doing this. I'm not. Mate, that's where you are in your life.

21:32Romesh Ranganathan:We should go further that way then, maybe.

21:35Tom Davis:Yeah. I'd push it more. Yeah. What we should do is we should go shopping together and buy each other the outfit we think the other one should wear.

21:45Romesh Ranganathan:This is another attempt at you to try and get a Rob and Romish format away with you and me.

21:50Tom Davis:I'm not in any attempt to do it. Look, can I just say, when I dressed you for King Gary, you hated those clothes. That is what you're talking about wearing now. Not quite. I mean, oh, God. It's not far off. That's the whole point of that character, as much as you hated it, was you're one of the most stylish people I know. You always dress well. The point of putting you in those clothes was, that is the last thing I could ever imagine you wearing.

22:12Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. No, but that's, Tom, let's not pretend it was some sort of noble experiment. It was bullying. It wasn't bullying. I've said it every time. It is bullying. It's not bullying. It was brilliant. I could hear you laughing outside the trailer.

22:24Tom Davis:Because it was funny. But the character, that was what the character was, right? Okay. I actually think, in the scope of things, I'm then in really tight clothes. I mean, when I look at those pictures of me as King Gary, that is, I mean, it's what, again, the character was. Most of the budget went on your clothes. Didn't it? It was actually Laura's clothes were actually the most expensive.

22:46Romesh Ranganathan:Well, I mean, you didn't wear a single thing that didn't have a fucking label. You actually got gifted quite a few things. Did you? I imagine you got gifted all of Stuart Williams' stuff. Nobody's paying for that. Blue ink didn't gift us anything. I think at one point they said, we've got a bit of a treat for you. We've got a couple of fat-faced bits. Wedding episodes.

23:12Tom Davis:We should all get dressed up. Yeah, but I think how you dress, I think, by the way, I saw you the other day on Radio 2. The look was fucking sick. The tie look. Yeah, that was just because I was going on a date with Aisling.

23:27Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Thanks very much. Okay, well, I'll have a think about it. Anyway, that's not the point of any of this. Your headlights.

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24:41Romesh Ranganathan:Highlights. Okay, highlights, highlights. They should be called highlights. Yeah, they should be.

24:44Tom Davis:Why didn't no one call them that?

24:45Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, maybe I'll get them. Do you know what? I might get them. You might have inspired me to get them. I fucking do. So hold up. When you say hair lights, but...

24:51Tom Davis:I don't say hair lights. When you say highlights, what are you talking about? What colour?

24:56Romesh Ranganathan:I don't know. Like a sort of... Like tips? No, not frosted tips. You know, like a little... A little kind of... I don't know. Like a light colour, maybe? I think do it. Yeah? Alright, I'm going to do it.

25:10Tom Davis:It's like that old thing that Denzel Washington says. Like, you don't want to be on your deathbed surrounded by all your regrets.

25:16Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, but I don't want to be on my deathbed with some really shit highlights either.

25:24Romesh Ranganathan:If Jonathan's doing them, they will be beautiful. So Charlie, this story's about Charlie, but not to do with that. Charlie is in the West End now. My God. He's one of the cast of Oliver. This is incredible. He's got the part, one of Fagin's gang, and yesterday, I got to watch him for the first time. Oh my God. I couldn't go on his first night because of my play. So I went to watch him and we got up in the morning. He was buzzing for me to go and see him because Lisa had seen him. Lisa went every show. Wow. So then I got ready. We were having a chat about it. Get the train up there. He's just chatting like he's not about to do his fourth ever performance on the West End.

26:08Romesh Ranganathan:Just totally chill. Messy play as well. Totally chill. Can I say, Oliver is a stalwart of the one that's in the world. I mean, that show... The West End. It's one of the great shows. And Simon Lipkin, by the way, as Fagin. Unbelievable. Fagin's a dream part, right? Yeah. And, in fact, the whole cast were incredible. Really good. Did you go and meet them afterwards? No. I'm not that... I'm not going to do that. Why? You're a West Ender. Well, I didn't do it. Okay. Anyway, so... Did you take Charlie for food after? We had a bit of a falling out about this, actually. Oh, God. I'll tell you about that.

26:39Tom Davis:You wanted to go to Mildred's?

26:41Romesh Ranganathan:No, I didn't. I wouldn't take... I wouldn't do that to him. Okay. Not that there's anything wrong with Mildred's. Mildred's is incredible. I love Mildred's. Great food. But not Charlie's bag. No. Is how I would describe Mildred's. He's quite adventurous little eater though, Charlie. He is, but... We were talking about him on the trip. There has to be mate.

26:54Tom Davis:Yeah.

26:55Romesh Ranganathan:Anyway. I love that about him. So, we get there. Yeah. I'm astounded by the complete lack of nerves in this kid, right? And I actually thought to myself, how is he doing this? Do you know what I mean? That was the thing that's... Like, the performance, whatever. How is this kid so chilled going into this thing? Honestly, mate, it was like Oliver was one of a number of things he's looking forward to doing that day. It was crazy. The anxiety even...

27:21Tom Davis:Nothing. Because I'd have been nervous. Grace has got two lines in a little place she's doing at her little drama workshop. Yeah, okay, it's not about your kid, mate. No, no, no, but I'm already having anxiety about those two lines.

27:32Romesh Ranganathan:I felt anxious. I'm on the way there in the train. I'm starting to feel a bit funny. I'm starting to feel like... Did his coolness, though, rub off on you? did his complete lack of... It made me feel like, actually weird, it was this weird thing where the parent is supposed to reassure the kid, the kid's reassuring the parent about his performance. He's going, it's just fun. It's just fun. I love doing it. So I'm like, okay. So we go to do it, we go to the thing, I go into theatre, sit down, watch him be great and everybody was great actually. The whole thing was wicked. Sitting there, a little kind of burning emotion-y, you know, you start to feel a bit like...

28:10Romesh Ranganathan:And then you start to think, you know, am I being, am I being, like a couple of people asked for photos in the audience. Yeah. Tom, I'm going to tell you this. I said this to Lisa because she'd gone to the toilet. I was sat on my own and then a couple of people.

28:25Tom Davis:By the way, that's a staple of what people do. What? As soon as Catherine or Lisa move away. Yeah.

28:32Romesh Ranganathan:So Lisa had gone. So a couple of people came over and said, can I have a photo? I had a daughter chat or whatever. I didn't say it to them. I was looking for an in to say my son's in this and then I thought oh my god I recognise a bit of me that's like this sort of sad proud parent no no no no you should have been proud no but it's a bit braggy isn't it no it's not

28:48Tom Davis:your son's in the play I know but it's a bit like

28:51Romesh Ranganathan:you need to own that stuff no but I do think it's a bit ick why is that ick you can't convince me that it's not ick because it's a lot of circumstance and good fortune and stuff and obviously he's worked hard and he's really good but I don't like it's just showing off isn't it but it's not showing off if you're proud of your son I am proud, but I think you can express that pride to your family. I don't think you have to go and say it to other people. You shouldn't. But my point is... You don't have to say it on your podcast, for example.

29:18Tom Davis:But my point is, he's nailing it. He's smashing it. You're literally sitting there watching him do this incredible thing. By the way, let's not fucking get crazy. It's a big deal. Oh, yeah. At his age, getting a part in a West End show. That's mad. It is good. That's such a big thing. right it doesn't like and and this is the other like just because the the icky thing that your feet may be feeling and whatever is the fact that you might think oh they'll go well yeah yeah that's what you're feeling people think that yeah no but it's not i can tell you now it's so what you should what you need to do is own that moment and go well you know because that is that those are moments they're the things that we all as parents as as whatever siblings you're going, wow, that's an incredible thing.

30:05Tom Davis:You're sitting there watching him absolutely nail it. And if people come over, you've not walked over to them and said, oh, my boy's in this. No. If they're coming over. I would have done that if I could.

30:16Romesh Ranganathan:No, but then you let that out. Yeah, well, I didn't anyway. So I kept it to myself. It was a good secret. And then we left. And then Charlie, this is bad. No, it's not that bad, actually. Charlie wanted to go to Dave's Hot Chicken, and we didn't go.

30:30Tom Davis:Why didn't you want to go?

30:31Romesh Ranganathan:Because it was raining. Right. We'd sort of gone the other way and it meant a double back to get Dave's Hot Chicken and we'd go to the train station so we'd just like can't be bothered. So we ended up getting KFC when we got back.

30:42Tom Davis:You know what you should do tonight? What? Take him from Dave's Hot Chicken. You think so? Yeah.

30:46Romesh Ranganathan:Does it travel?

30:47Tom Davis:Yeah.

30:48Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, I'm an hour and a half away from my house. Okay. And also you've got to play tonight. Yeah. And also I get back at midnight. But apart from that, it's really getting back

30:56Tom Davis:from the aura thing. Yeah. Are you sleeping? Hello, mate. Hello, mate.

31:01Romesh Ranganathan:Wake up.

31:02Tom Davis:At six o 'clock, I got you some Dave's hot chicken. It's been in my dressing room at the play. Got you some ice cold chicken. So he's sharing his dressing room with the other... By the way, I always have so much respect for the chorus. So he's in all the songs. Pardon? He's in all the Fagans and the boys songs. Yeah. I always have so much. That's the stuff that I always think you've got to be so bang on, right?

31:26Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. All of the kids are sharing their dressing room apart from Charlie. One of the adult cast has asked to share with him solo. I think it's fine Bill Sykes The guy

31:38Tom Davis:The guy Bill Sykes Is insisting

31:50Tom Davis:He's seen the nice guy I don't really mean Yeah this is really nice He was drinking at the bar

31:53Romesh Ranganathan:And he said they might Extend his contract

31:58Romesh Ranganathan:That's an incredible thing So then we got back and I'm going to tell you this, I've talked about this on the Romesh Ranganathan show. Yeah. I'm going to talk to you about it now. Yeah. And it might be something you might want to do with Grace, which is Elder. Yeah. I'm now a Dungeons and Dragons player. What?

32:13Tom Davis:What?

32:15Romesh Ranganathan:Oh my God.

32:16Tom Davis:What, playing it?

32:19Romesh Ranganathan:Playing it with the family. Like, hold up, playing it, the board game? Yeah, I mean, yeah, the board game, yeah. The tabletop RPG. Wow. Yeah. I've always been fascinated by it. How far away do you think you are from cosplay or sort of all those? I don't know. It depends if Lisa replies to this text. But you have the box and then you've got the set-ups and you can make it up and stuff like that. Anyway, I'm going to say this now, man. When I first talked about it on the other podcasts I do that you don't watch.

32:52Tom Davis:Yeah, I do watch, actually. I think it's fascinating.

32:54Romesh Ranganathan:I was slightly a bit nervous to admit it because it's like the first time I played. it's sick I'm in you should own it I am in man Dungeons and Dragons is fire man

33:04Tom Davis:I love it can I just say yeah my brother-in-law and my nephew both play right it's amazing it's incredible are you painting the figures yet

33:11Romesh Ranganathan:no we've not got to that stage that's the bit

33:13Tom Davis:I think you're already going to get a kick out of you think so you're a creative guy

33:17Romesh Ranganathan:I'm not creative like that mate nobody's gone oh have you seen his tour show he looks like exactly the kind of guy that could paint an orc what the fuck are you on about

33:28Tom Davis:Right, you're a perfectionist when it comes to stuff. I can imagine you, your little paintbrush painting away on a Sunday afternoon. I do love those videos.

33:35Romesh Ranganathan:Anyway, the point is, I'm in. And I want to take this opportunity to formally apologise for any reluctance I showed about Dundas and Dragons when I first mentioned it. Who brought it into the house? I did. Okay. So basically, Taylor Utley, who's on The Woman in Mind with me, he plays it, right? Yeah. And obviously on Stranger Things, always talking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was looking for something to do with the kids. Yeah. And I just thought, this feels like it's perfect. So we had a go at it. And before we knew it, we'd spent two hours playing this game. Wow. And now the kids are asking to play again.

34:09Romesh Ranganathan:It's amazing. So hold on. But you can build other worlds. You can do like, we've got the starter pack. I paid like 40 quid or something. And you get like three starter setups. Right. But then you can, there's a lot of it, you can just fuck around and invent your own stuff. You add stuff to it. Yeah. I mean, I've never actually played it. I've only ever been the dungeon master.

34:28Tom Davis:What? Hold up. So when you played with the boys, were you the dungeon master? So that means I'm running the game. Yeah. But then do you have little figures of your own that are in the game?

34:38Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, they had figures, yeah.

34:39Tom Davis:You don't have them? No.

34:41Romesh Ranganathan:So what are you doing then? I'm taking them through the game. Okay. So it'd be like, we can do it now if you want. Do you want to play a bit now? Yeah, I'd love to. Okay. So what do you want your character to be? An Elgin. Okay. Why don't you say words that you know? I've heard Elgin somewhere yeah okay what is it

34:59Tom Davis:what was what was

35:00Romesh Ranganathan:you could be like a wizard or a fighter

35:02Tom Davis:what was Lando Bloom in Elf an Elf okay

35:06Romesh Ranganathan:he wasn't an Elgin

35:07Tom Davis:yeah I'll be an Elf like Prince who's sort of you know and what are your skills like

35:14Romesh Ranganathan:magic or fighting oh fighting okay alright so I'm just freestyling this now so I'm not really good okay so you walk into some woods yep there's a goblin in front of you oh shit he's dressed in battle armor yeah he's got a sword on his back yeah he hasn't noticed you initially yeah this is sick what do you mean I'm excited by this I'm actually trembling what do you do um well it sounds like he's probably sort of quite

35:46Tom Davis:aggressive you can talk to him if you want I'll actually talk to him okay what do you want to say Hey, man. How are you? Just having a stroll through the woods.

35:56Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. Can you speak goblin language? Oh, no. So at that point, well, we don't know. Okay. All right. So what I'd say is if you roll a... I'd just go, hello. Okay.

36:07Tom Davis:Hello. I mean no harm. I am a elf warrior who's in the woods.

36:17Romesh Ranganathan:I can see you're in the woods. What is your name? Ian? Sounds a bit like Renee from Aloha Loma. Ian. Hmm? Ian. Ian. Hello, Ian. For what reason are you walking through these woods?

36:31Tom Davis:It's a shortcut to the castle that I'm going to see my friends at.

36:35Romesh Ranganathan:Well, you'll have to take a different path.

36:37Tom Davis:Why? Because I am resting here. Well, yeah, I mean, have a sit down, mate. I'm just going to scurry on through. I'll be gone before you know it.

36:45Romesh Ranganathan:Find a different path.

36:47Tom Davis:What's your name, sorry? My name is... What? Can I just say that you don't own the woods? I think it's a bit obnoxious, if I'm honest with you, that you won't just let me pass. I've actually, I had options. I could have attacked you. I could have been confrontational. I could have grappled you. I chose to speak and talk just to be diplomatic.

37:09Romesh Ranganathan:If you chose to grapple me, you would be dead. Oh, God. All right, mate, you fancy yourself. You're starting to aggravate the goblin now. What do you want to do? Shoot him in the head with my bow. Shoot him in the head with your bow. Okay, so at this point, I would get you to roll a dice. Okay. Okay? Yeah. And then if you got 15 or above, we'd say that the bow enters the guy's head or not. So we're going to roll a dice now. 13. Okay. So you try and shoot him in the head. It fails. You've now aggravated him. What do you do now? He's going to attack you. I basically go, sorry about that.

37:46Tom Davis:Sorry? Yeah. You wound me up. You just avoided clicking me. I'm so sorry. I basically just... Why should I not kill you? He draws his sword. Oh, God.

38:00Romesh Ranganathan:What are you going to do now? Escape. Run as far. I outrun a troll. Well, you're facing a goblin, so...

38:07Tom Davis:Same thing, though. No. Okay. Well, goblins are slower than trolls.

38:11Romesh Ranganathan:They're not. Goblins are quicker than trolls.

38:13Tom Davis:Okay, yeah, but they're not as quick as an elf who's having it on his toes. I've only got a little bow on my back. He's got a big sword and a shield.

38:18Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, the goblin has been at war now.

38:21Tom Davis:Oh, so he's probably a bit tired as well.

38:22Romesh Ranganathan:Okay.

38:23Tom Davis:So I probably then just turn around and go, fuck off, mate, and I just sprint out. Okay, so you try to run away.

38:29Romesh Ranganathan:We're going to roll the dice. The goblin is one of the best goblin soldiers, so he's pretty quick. So if you roll a 17 or above, you get away. Seven?

38:37Tom Davis:What are you fucking nuts? You're nuts.

38:39Romesh Ranganathan:He's a fast goblin. That's how the odds work. He's a fast goblin. He's an elf versus a goblin. He is a quick goblin. He's one of the top warriors. You should have known that. Okay. You fucking stuck your finger up now and tried to run away. Let's roll the dice. One, you're fucked. Oh, mate. The goblin catches you. Okay. He throws you to the ground. He's got his sword to your neck. Why should I not kill you? I'll be your wife. Okay. If you get a ten or above, the goblin fucks you. Eight.

39:16Romesh Ranganathan:so the goblin kills me huh we don't know i will release you if you can answer this riddle oh god i hate riddles okay you ready can't i just come to your house and do some chores no are you ready yeah i have no voice but i can make a sound i have no feet but i can move around i am born in the dark and I leave with a dash. I have no hands, but clear a room in a flash. I'm invisible to the eye, but known to the nose. Everyone has me, but nobody shows. What am I? A bat? A bat?

39:57Romesh Ranganathan:Sorry, which bat is invisible to the eye? Oh, a shadow. It's not a shadow. I'm invisible to the eye, but known to the nose. When have you last met a shadow?

40:12Romesh Ranganathan:A fart? It's a fart. Wow. Well done, the goblin releases you can continue.

40:16Tom Davis:That's sort of like a little bit of the game. Wow, mate, that's sick. So that's sort of how it goes. I think we should do... You know what we should do? I'd actually love to do is specials of this where we get a board and we play a game.

40:26Romesh Ranganathan:I wouldn't mind. I'd love to get some... In fact, if there's any Dungeons & Dragons experts that can help us design a little game...

40:31Tom Davis:My friend Tommy, by the way, is...

40:31Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, should we do a little D &D?

40:33Tom Davis:Tommy is like one of the country's best D &Ds. Okay, we should D &D then, shouldn't we? We should go to... Have you seen the place in Nottingham? where you go and play. No. They've got like its headquarters. It's fucking sick. It's one of the biggest ones in. Okay. Should we do it?

40:46Romesh Ranganathan:WolfAlPod at gmail.com please. Get in touch.

40:48Tom Davis:If you play Dungeons and Dragons you want to get involved let's do it. Oh my God. I'm genuinely fucking buzzing. Fun right? Yeah. That was sick. I mean you normally Can I say by the way Yeah. Yeah. That you were an incredible dungeon master.

41:00Romesh Ranganathan:No but normally you have more rules and you've got a bit more of a set up and you design what the thing's going to be. Yeah. We're just fucking around there. I think it's about that time Tommy D. Okay. We've played some D &D. We've told our little anecdotes. Could you please take us out?

41:16Tom Davis:Hey, do you remember the first time that you tried a new soup or some new crisps? Breaking boundaries. Doing new things. Sometimes that can be scary. But sometimes just knocking off the crust of your everyday life and going, oh, that feels nice. It's all the growing you need. What am I asking you? To climb Everest tomorrow? No, friend. That would be insane without any kind of training. What I'm saying to you is, like Romesh with Dungeons and Dragons, or me with Dungeons and Dragons, trying something new and expressing yourself in a different way could make you feel like a new person. You might not need to change everything, but growing a little bit, like this much, could mean a whole new you.

42:02Tom Davis:is the tide running in to the sand that makes you free.

42:09Romesh Ranganathan:Thanks so much, Tom. That was... It was definitely you speaking out loud. Thank you so much for listening and watching to The Wolf for now. Wolfoutpod.gmail.com if you've got any emails for us. We'll be back with a bonus episode. Yeah, mate. See you then. Peace.

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