Fart Stories, SNL Opinions And Mooning

0:14Romesh Ranganathan:Hey, happy Friday. Oh my God, it's Friday, bitches. You know what time it is? Time for the Wolf and Al. Email. I got a problem, Bobby. Right to the Wolf and Al. It's Wolf and Al. Melos Electronicos por las wolfos y aulos Bienvenidos Wow, you're like Kevin Bridges

0:44Actually, you are a bit like Kevin Bishop He's got the hair and the mustache So look, there's a bit of a hangover from the last episode There's so many questions about the pants Feel free to ask them

0:55Romesh Ranganathan:Just to be very quick for people I can't imagine anybody anyway I was in bed I was in bed asleep I like the wolf now I only really listen to the EMA special so somebody I was sleeping with so you've made love that evening yeah yeah okay checking my pants to see if I check myself yeah so you're asleep at the time you're doing such heinous yeah loud gross farts I don't know if they were loud but it was smell so she took it upon herself yeah to delve under the covers and check that you hadn't pooed yourself yeah correct oh my god but it wasn't done in an aggressive horrible way how could you the aggressive horrible thought of someone going have you bloody shat yourself no but that's what I mean she didn't no I'd say arguably that's better I think someone worryingly about you yeah That's what happened.

1:55That's what happened. Oh, bless him. I think he shat himself. Yeah. That was the tone in which it was done. With which it was done. You waking up and going, What am I doing? That's what happened. What's going on back there? And she's like, Sorry, you were just doing such disgusting farts of just making sure you hadn't shat yourself. Yeah, that's basically what happened. Fucking insane. It's horrible, isn't it? Oh, you never... Oh, my... It's just genuinely... That's one of the worst stories I've ever heard about in bed with someone. Yeah, it was bad. How did you, did you see her much after that?

2:28Yeah, we carried on seeing each other for a while after that. But I... By the way, how does that work when she's with her friends? What do you mean? When she's turned around going, oh, bloody hell, you know that guy I'm seeing, seeing Romesh, yeah, yeah. He was doing such stinky fights the other day, I had to make sure he hadn't shat himself. I know this is weird, like, she had the kind of,

2:50Romesh Ranganathan:what's the best way to describe this? she was a sort of person that just wouldn't find that a thing to take the piss out of you. Like, do you know what I mean? Not even saying take the mic. No, but what I mean is like... I'd rather, by the way, someone took the mic. I know, but she was just like... It was a bit more like... She felt a bit... She was doing it out of concern. Like, it's actually a bit more embarrassing. She's doing it like going... By the way, that also means she thinks you probably had shat yourself. She did think I'd shat myself. Yeah. No, she thought I'd shat myself. Yeah, but she thought you were the sort of person who'd...

3:18Romesh Ranganathan:You know... I don't think... I think she probably went to bed that night thinking, Romesh isn't the sort of person that would shit himself. Then the room stinks so much. She's going, well, I don't think he's the sort of person that shits himself. But there's no way this can be gas. Christ. And then she checked my under. That means that, yeah, you had, yeah. That sort of was one of a number of life-changing experiences for me, where I decided to sort of be a bit more careful on what I ate and stuff. Yeah, of course. Were you eating meat back then? Yeah, I was eating meat back then. Okay. I'm delighted to say no it wasn't eating meat no that's not true but I wasn't vegan okay vegetarian I would say now I'm a different animal fart wise really I really have turned a corner my fart's been a lot better recently yeah my farts are not as smelly have you has anyone ever because that's what you do with a baby right that's what you do with a if you go oh man stinks of shit in here and just make sure the kid doesn't shat themselves yeah so that was the last time that happened to you yeah I mean, yes, correct.

4:19Romesh Ranganathan:Since I was a baby, yeah. But I imagine if we'd have gone on to have children, the check would be, let's go to Romesh first, and then see if the baby's done something. How did things end with her? Like, am I completely? That's nice. Yeah. She probably... The problem with those things, though, is then, and this is the problem with all breakups, is if you do something embarrassing or something embarrassing that happens, that's okay while you're still with that person. Yeah. and then once you split up with that person I don't know I think that that becomes the focus of your relationship it might do because you know there will be certain friends going Melissa he shat himself in front of you he didn't poo himself he was just doing really stinky farts I had to check his bum why are those two people talking to each other and where are they I don't know the malt shop or something okay the malt shop anyway the point I'm trying to make is once you split up then all bets are off yeah of course she's probably told quite a few people yeah people are in the pub going oh my god Ravish Ranganathan do you see what he said this week and everyone's like oh he's so funny yeah you know what's really funny about him he shat the bed when I went out with him I didn't shit the bed though yeah but that mate the sounds of time stories age stories change I don't know how much a reveal it will be having said it on the podcast no but she's changed it in many ways I have I have I've depowered it yeah you have now I've liberated I've liberated myself from that those shackles Melissa guess what I was listening to the podcast Will Waffen out the other day turns out Ramos didn't poo himself he just had a really smelly bum and that would be like yeah yeah not it's not quite the victory lap I was hoping for but anyway turn it up Storm has zero sugar and 200 milligrams of caffeine so you can turn that workout up a notch.

6:15Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life.

6:19Romesh Ranganathan:Right, it's time for emails. Remember, if you want to send us in an email, wolfowlpod at gmail.com. Also, please do remember to like and subscribe. It means that you never miss an episode and it really makes us feel better about ourselves. Also, funny pictures, videos, all very much. Yeah, send what you want. And yeah, John is very keen. John is one of the most positive human beings I've ever met in my life. and one thing that really gets John's word of crazy day is your pictures and messages. He gets off on admin in a way that other people get off with times with their loved ones and stuff like that.

6:52Romesh Ranganathan:He lives for plowing through emails that will generate no content for the podcast. So please do feel free to send those in.

7:03Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, who wants to read the first one? You go first, you go. Hi, Tom and Rob. I need some help figuring this one out. My kitchen sink overlooks a pretty interesting residential street that makes for excellent people watching while I'm washing up. This is great, isn't it? By the way, washing up is really a quite relaxing thing to do. I've had an older age. The pinnacle of this was late one summer evening. As it was just starting to get dark, I saw a middle-aged man in a baseball cap. Hello. You getting nervous?

7:32Romesh Ranganathan:Walking along, looking up at the surrounding buildings as if he was searching for something. Quickly, he spotted me. He looked me dead in the eye and stopped in his tracks. He checked both directions before stepping out into the road so he was in full view, dropping his trousers to reveal his hairy arse. I mean, literally, yeah. So far, so Tom Davis. Cheeks to the wind in the middle of the road. He then pulled his trousers up and looked back at me with an expression of deep shame before hurrying off. I would say that's where the tracks were. Back in the direction that you just come from. Now the shame is where we start to think, okay, it can't be true.

8:08Romesh Ranganathan:His performance lacked the childish and playful nature of being moonied, yet also lacked the sexual aggression of being flashed. So I don't know what happened. I feel baffled rather than violated. Very keen to hear your thoughts on why a middle-aged man would show me his bum and then run away. Thanks, love the pod. That's from the baffled border terrier. Tom, what's your thoughts on this, please? That's a weird thing, isn't it? The bum shower. Did you ever moon you people when you were younger? What do you think? No, I don't think you've probably got a moonie, have you? No. No. Well, I've moonied.

8:38Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I bet you have. Yeah. I wouldn't surprise you if you've moonied Catherine. Have you? Oh, yeah, of course. I've showed her my bum, yeah. I've showed her your bum, but like... You've moonied her. I actually do moonies now quite a bit in the house. Yeah, in the house, yeah. Not with Theo's girlfriends there. No, but like when we're sitting watching a film or something, I just go, I'm just going to go grab some snacks and I pre-set my trousers up so my ass gets revealed. Do you ever pull your boxer shorts between your ass cheeks and pretend it's a thong?

9:10it's one of my favourite things to do there or I pull my grey steel things to do so I pull my pants up really high like Simon Cowell my underpants but mooning because what's mad is mooning was all when we were younger was seen as a sort of almost like this is before consoles and fucking my phone was a way of sort of like Tom

9:30Romesh Ranganathan:listen I know we were mooning the idea that mooning was our PlayStation 5 it's such a fucking insane connection to me there was less stuff going on so you go oh you hear about darren darren clark moonied so and so the other day yeah yeah and it would become like mooning was a thing yeah it was big yeah but this doesn't feel like if because mooning was always like done i think with an infectiously silly yeah but now i look at it and go oh essentially it is maybe flashing do you know i think it is flashing but i don't think it's a sexual thing no if we break this down bit by bit but also was that guy just down the back alley looking for someone down the street I don't think it was a back alley he was walking down the street someone to moony at that's what I think I actually think that is what happened I think this guy was looking for somebody to be his audience yeah spotted somebody decided to moony them and then felt the shame of that happening and that was the kick they were looking for I think my impression is they were looking for the shame yeah because you know a dopamine hit yeah of just like I've done this horrible thing to this person yeah it's a bizarre thing I mean would you get in touch with Neighborhood Watch about that?

10:43Romesh Ranganathan:is Neighborhood Watch still a thing? yeah I mean it is in your affluent areas I don't think it is where I live oh Jesus Christ this guy I have not heard this castle I have not heard up on Mount Crawley I have I have I have you didn't see your house flying into Gatwick It's insane. I have not. Just you mooning up at the planes. I have not heard Neighbourhood Watch mentioned in a long time. No, I think it's still a bit of a thing. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's... But what I'm saying is, would you... Because, look, by the things, this sweet, sweet soul has taken it in their stride. It's a bit strange.

11:22It's a bit weird. Well, it's a bit strange. If you did that to... Children. Yeah. Children or an old person who wasn't ready to see.

11:28Romesh Ranganathan:And some... You know, whenever you experience something that you think this person, you know, we're sort of laughing about it, but actually for someone else, this might be like horrible. Oh yeah, it could be quite triggering. Especially a hairy arse. A hairy arse is... I don't think the police are going to do anything. Have you got a hairy arse? I don't know. I was about to say, I don't know what you mean by hairy. Like, do you mean disproportionately hairy based? Yeah, right, yeah. What have you got? No, not particularly. Yeah, the cracks, the cheeks. It's in keeping with the surrounding areas.

11:56Romesh Ranganathan:I haven't examined the exact hair levels inside my crack. so I couldn't tell you that you'd have to ask that girl I was sleeping with oh Jesus she's probably got the best for you the torch well then my crack has been on Sky obviously yeah because I did the butthole sunning yeah so Cliff I don't think your bum when I've seen it is that hairy no but they they pixelated it but Cliff the camera up he was close his job was to close up close up on my gooch right so he I would say he's probably the person in the world that knows that area of me the best yeah that and the girl who thought you pooed your pants.

12:31I think, what I'd do is probably just keep an eye out. By the way, this sounds like an incredible neighbour to have someone who's got an eye on what's going on in the street at all times. You a people watcher?

12:41Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I would say I am. Like, I don't actively go out of my way to do it. If I'm sat at a bar, you know, you know when you sit outside to have a pint or something like that? Okay. Sat at a bar is different. Yeah. No, when you're sat in a... You're a guy on your own sat at a bar watching people. No, but when you're like sat outside or something where you're in a park or whatever. Why are you sitting in a park watching people? Well, sometimes, I don't know, we'll go down, the kids are playing football, and then later on, I'll be sat on a bench having a drink. You don't just go to the park on your own?

13:10Romesh Ranganathan:No, I mean, I certainly wouldn't admit now if I was, the way you've made it fucking sound. But yeah, let's just assume I don't go to the park on my own, okay? Let's make that the official line on this. Okay. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Well, now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for$15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made$15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of$45 for three months,$90 for six months, or$180 for 12-month plan required.

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13:56Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, would you like to read the next email, Tom? Good afternoon, chaps. I have a couple of questions for you both. The first is, would either of you be interested in hosting the SNL UK now that it's been renewed for a second season? I know the wolf has spoken fondly in the past of the original SNL, and given the brilliance of Murder and Successful, we know improv is something he handles with a plum. I think your improv is incredible, by the way. You don't have to say that. No, no, I mean this. No, no. I've improvised, but you're fucking up there. You're incredible. That's very kind of you. um furthermore the owl is now an accomplished thespian accomplished thespian so i was wondering if it would be something uh you had been watching and were keen to explore for yourselves um tom uh i'm gonna be quite honest i don't think i'm a big enough draw for that if you look at the people they've got in i think that me and you are probably i mean me anyway i think you're probably series two, three.

14:51I'm series six when they've exhausted every other avenue. I'm not saying that to be humble. They're going for big, big names to get to host.

15:01Romesh Ranganathan:That's part of the thing of SNL is they get like, nobody is going to go, no disrespect to either of us. Holy fuck, they managed to get. No, no. For either of us. No, no, no. So I think SNL UK, I've not watched lots of it, but I've watched bits of it. and everybody thought it was going to be an absolute fucking flop. Do you know what I mean? The way people are talking about it, it's so difficult for a live sketch show to work on UK television and it hasn't been and they've made a successful one. We both know some really good people that are working on it and I do think it's great that we've got some new faces.

15:38Romesh Ranganathan:I think it's good to have a load of new faces in comedy and TV comedy because TV comedy hasn't been what it has been in the past and so it's good to see a crop of new face coming through with that in mind i don't think i should be anywhere near it so even i don't think they'll ask me i'm just speaking personally but if they did ask me i would say no because i just think snl uk but then you've also got to think there's a lot of big comedians who've done the american one as a guest host yeah over the years yeah and also bring in your audience to that yeah but i just i just don't think i should be anywhere near So in the answer to the question, I've got no intention of...

16:18Romesh Ranganathan:They've not asked me, by the way, but I wouldn't go on SNL UK. Yeah, I just don't think... I think that the names they're going to go for are big, big names. We're sort of in the middle, right? So it's like they want to get people that are like, holy fuck. Yeah, yeah. And that's what it needs. You need to get those people that people get excited about. Yeah. But then I think... And I think I agree with you. I think that there's... I think it's nice that there's been a launchpad for up-and-coming acts. We know quite a few of them. I would like to see maybe a few more left field choices. So I think, I hope that there's opportunity.

16:50Romesh Ranganathan:You're talking about economic diversity, aren't you? No, I'm talking, yeah, I'm talking. Socio economic diversity. I think social mobility is a big thing. And I think it's to find, I think there's, there's been a thing for sketch comedy in my experience. And even this is speaking personally as well, that I was never, I was never part of that clique as, as much as, you know, talk about murder and successful and stuff. It was never something. and it's always been something that's been very, and this is no smear on SNL. I think it's brilliant. I think everyone else, everyone in it's incredible. I enjoy the show.

17:20Really talented. But I do think there's a slight, I think there's a bit of a missed opportunity to bring people in who, I think Al Nash actually, I think comes from a similar sort of background, I think, and I think he's terrific. I think he's brilliant. But it'd be interesting, yeah, just to throw the net a little bit wider. But I think, and I applaud what they're doing. I think the fact that they're, it's, what you realise is quite how limited the opportunities are for people coming into the industry now. And I think that's not just, by the way, that's not just the people that we see on the screen.

17:54It's the writers, young producers, people coming through, you know, camera ops, people who have put together. Well, I think all the sketches on there are incredibly put together.

18:04Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Brilliantly. The sketch I really liked was the traitor's lobster sketch. That was so good. Yeah. Yeah, it's really funny. And Jack Shep is brilliant. There's going to be some breakout stars. Yeah, but also then what we have to do is you have to then build a world that gives them the opportunity from there to step up on British television. Yeah, it'd be wicked to see. I think a few of those guys at least are going to go on to be pretty big comedy names. Okay, secondly, I know you've both been on journeys with cutting down slash out alcohol. we've been criticised a little bit for this because we weren't drinking for a while and both of us have dabbled again but we're not back in the way that we were before are we?

18:50Romesh Ranganathan:and I was wondering if you could tell me if it's made you a little bit less sociable I'm in my mid-30s and whilst I like being out and about cutting out alcohol means my staying power is definitely not there compared to having a drink I feel like I may regret not being quite as sociable though I wonder if it's that more British drinking culture is just a bit all or nothing by design, all the same I do like a night in and just chilling out a bit in ways you feel like you could be taking the good times for granted. We'd love to hear your thoughts. Also, if you've had experience of going on a stag and not drinking, if not, would it be something you would do or would you treat it as a one-off?

19:21Romesh Ranganathan:Thanks in advance to you sweet, sweet selves of the jittery giraffe. Thank you. Oh, my God, sorry. Excuse me. You've got hiccups. Thank you so much. I have a thing about someone. Did you throw someone out of a show because of a hiccup in? Someone DM'd me this link this week going, oh, yeah, Romesh, years ago in a show in Newcastle. or had someone hiccuping. That's bollocks. Yeah, I know. I don't think it was. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. For hiccuping? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think you can, I don't think you can hear hiccuping. I don't think, oh, fuck off. Anyway, do you want to answer this?

19:52By the way, can I say, going back to the last episode, as someone who's very silky smooth in a law evidence giving fashion, you've completely crumbled then.

20:02Romesh Ranganathan:I know, it's so embarrassing. You know, it's so embarrassing when like you think of a point and then your mouth can't do it. It's horrible. I mean, anyone who's been listening to this podcast over the last fucking six years will realise that. Okay, go on. Okay, firstly, so have we been getting stick for drinking again? Not getting stick for drinking. There's an argument that we were slightly sanctimonious about the fact that we'd stopped drinking, and now we've both... We're off the... We're around the wagon. What is it? Are we on the wagon or off the wagon? Neither of us have held ourselves up to be perfect human beings.

20:39we're both you know my thing was I was just I'm aspiring to be a flawed human being yeah yeah that's a target for me you're doing okay my thing was kind of actually what this email's about was sociably I find so I'm I sort of like will give or take if I do it I've got that bit I think under control I might be wrong with this and you know and this might be sort of like a but I do think now where I've gone actually you know I've got a bit of a handle on it I went out me and Catherine had a lovely night out the other night a few cocktails lovely evening and I think I haven't done that really we've not been doing that in the last couple of years I think it's a nice way of going out and relaxing but I'm looking at now going out to watch an England game and having like 19 pints of lager which is what I'd do before I'm just now I think there's a bit of a okay that's this is what I want to do when it comes to drinking personally I don't think I could think of anything worse than going on a stag and not drinking just on the basis of the company of being around, you know, 10 to 20 other lads who are all drinking and you're not.

21:44That would be a long fucking weekend. But yeah, I think you've got to take it as, I think everyone's different. I never set out to, I could have quite happily never drunk again. It was just a choice I made on, I'm going to have a drink or a couple of drinks here. But you've got to take, you've got to read yourself and go, okay, this is our film. How do you feel about it now?