Harry Styles, Chocolate Cake and the World Cup

0:01Oh no. We're in a right mess. Don't use your right hand because you've got chocolate all over your right hand. Come on. What am I doing watching you eat a cake with... I'm watching a... you know, a football match.

0:19Romesh Ranganathan:Hold on, hold on.

0:26Hold on.

0:30Romesh Ranganathan:Teak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's preferred. Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Welcome to another episode of The Wolf and Owl. Obviously this has been a bit of a strange opening to the episode because you were devouring a chocolate cake. It wasn't devouring, but I didn't realise how quickly we were getting into the app. we came in the studio three times we sort of like preemptively sort of came in and came out and you came in with it doesn't how's my face well you look beautiful as always you look but i've never seen you eating a cake before but with your hands i think i've seen you eating dessert with a spoon it's sort of the way you seductively lick your fingers it's quite welcome to the wall for now where we how would you describe the have we ever described the podcast but we sit down and shoot the shit chew the fat and discuss various things that just basically sounds like every podcast two guys two guys no preparation this is the wolf out my mate we thought it's so it's so stupid because we thought this was like a thing the gimmick of the podcast is that we don't have any prep yeah but actually it turns out that every podcast has no prep can i say but i've done quite a few now that a lot of there's there's prep done on some of them okay there were questions and they are better aren't they oh yeah well this would be significantly better if we came to yeah but by the way can i say how much has been in like sort of other people have like made an effort to make the surroundings yeah and it's like not that we've upped our game we're still coming in with the same trivial crap that we were spouting when we're just doing it on zoom yeah a bit nervous about having eaten this cake so close to the ep actually i've said it feels like can i say everyone else is waiting for the everyone's there was an open thing said let's wait for afterwards for the cake i'd already started i know yeah no but i had an individual vegan one yeah i know yeah so i started eating that i think can i say that they got sorry they got sorry tom just stop a second they got the knives and the plates out so obviously that is i thought they're going to start cutting the cake and then they went oh should we do it after yeah i saw you do that little thing that you licked the top and i didn't do that you gave the raspberry a little lick no i didn't give the i took the raspberry off oh i thought you licked it and ate it.

2:51I wasn't watching you like a hawk until you came in here. Well it feels like you were

2:54Romesh Ranganathan:you've just done a fucking impression. You haven't heard of it yet. Cupcakes are quite difficult to eat actually. Not if you eat like a horse. A horse eating an apple.

3:10I'm just saying that you had that vibe to you.

3:14Romesh Ranganathan:Anyway welcome to the podcast where a man and his favourite

3:22Romesh Ranganathan:Talk about stuff. I don't know who's doing that scenario. I think we do. I think we all do. With Sam's Club, you have the freedom to shop your own way. Curbside pickup? Deliver to your doorstep? Come in and grab it yourself? Yes. Yes. Yes. They've got plenty of options. Your call. Say yes to shopping the way you want. Join now at samsclub.com slash yes and. You must be 18 years or older to purchase a membership, and membership is subject to qualifications. Visit samsclub.com slash yes and for details. Please, could you remember to like and subscribe? We don't want casuals here. We do want casuals as well, but we want to turn those casuals into...

4:06Regular slides.

4:06Romesh Ranganathan:Regular, yeah. It's a big thing now, subscription. It's a community. Subscription is a huge thing. It's the way all the numbers are being analysed. Are you into analytics? Analytics. Am I into analytics? Yeah. No? Do you know the thing about - Although I do think they're useful. Of course. Stephen Bartlett uses them a lot. Have you ever done a diary of a CEO? No. I guess you have to be some sort of CEO, don't you, of that level? Yeah, of course. I'm literally - You're not a CEO, are you? No, but I'm sort of - I'm the CEO of sort of my area. What's that? I'm big dick.

4:43Romesh Ranganathan:well now what you've done is i was doing a bit there and now by fucking taking the piss out of me doing the bit it makes it look like i was serious so that's so that's a fucking but that's what happens i think i think you get on diary of a ceo and it sort of it can alter your mind because you feel because it's called diary of a ceo by nature you think everyone on there's going to be a ceo or something i think that's how it started yeah and then he ran out of ceo yeah now it's just like people that think bread is poisonous or whatever but like i i think that by the way like with him is there a friendship there or is it like did you do i've not i didn't speak to him before or nor have i spoken to him afterwards not even via dm i've had no contact with him apart from that the only words uttered between myself and stephen bartlett as i arrived at the studio to sit down with him.

5:33Romesh Ranganathan:Right. For the duration of the podcast then afters. But in defence of Stephen Bartlett, because it was going in two-footed on him. Did he book you himself? No. So he got booked for an exterior. I wonder, actually, on that, it wouldn't surprise me if they feed it into the Opta supercomputer to decide who they want on as guests rather than actually decide on personal taste. It does feel like, though, because there was a time when he was actually, I suppose, quite a... But he felt like he was the king of prep. He is the king of prep. for a podcast. He's like that end of the spectrum. Yeah. He literally has no stone left uncovered.

6:09Did you find him, yeah. You're both Arsenal fans as well.

6:12Romesh Ranganathan:We didn't talk about that. But the thing I would say is, researched up to the eyeballs. Of course. Asked me questions I've not been asked elsewhere. Yeah. Really, and not only that, he'd prepped. I want to give credit where credit's due. Yeah. He'd prepped in a way that allowed him to be nimble in the interview. so what I mean was he responded directly to stuff I'd said he wasn't just like these are the questions we've all been on those yeah do you know what I mean where they just literally it doesn't matter what you say he's going and that's when I decided to stick my dick in her ear and how did you get into comedy you know like they just just plough on regardless of what you say yeah I've done quite a few of those I quite enjoy those ones sometimes I do too because you sort of think I can say whatever I want there's going to be no there's going to be no repercussions do you want to listen to this back i don't think anyone will listen to this one of the things we haven't talked about i mean i know we talk about what where what went wrong but you know podcasts in general yeah i know that you know we're not breaking the mold we're not even approaching the mold i don't think we've seen a mold what we're using is a mold that has been used many times yeah we actually it is mold what we're doing right that horrible blue mold you know the one it's spreading off now that but but this is a question i want to ask you about mold sorry fucking hell that chocolate cake has absolutely kicked in i'm off my tits you know because there's no gluten no meat in there jesus well i would fucking hope not why would there be meat in a cake no no like butter on like animal yeah like so it's so much more sugar in there than no that's not true but they i do think it's more artificial yeah Because you're replacing egg.

7:56Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, yeah. Egg has got a magical... Egg, by the way, is so fucking amazing. In what way? I feel so sorry for you that you don't get wrapped around egg anymore. I don't get wrapped around egg? I just love egg. I have like four eggs a day minimum. Yeah, all right, Eddie Abbey. So talk me through your day of eggs. Every morning I have eggs. How many in the morning? Anywhere between two and four. Okay. So I've scrambled, fried, poached, boiled. Yeah. One off. and then one of each no no no I'll lean into that yeah and in the evening okay here's a question for you with regards to boiling eggs yeah because I sometimes have to boil eggs for the kids yeah well not for the kids but you know there's instances where you have to boil an egg yeah like in an emergency somebody's got a wound yeah you need to seal it no I'm just joking so how do you getting the shell off an egg it's the easiest thing in a while talk to me well number one boil it I think seven minutes is the optimum for a nice jammy egg yeah and what's the optimum

8:55and then hit it straight into an ice bath straight into okay now i've heard this and it'll cool it

9:00Romesh Ranganathan:down oh beautiful and then that loosens the shell and then and then when you get it out you need to just slowly roll it roll it and that'll crack yeah go down the barrel of the cameras yeah roll it slow roll it slow and then it should crack it and then you should be able to peel it nice and good oh wicked sounds good or you just give it a little knot with a spoon maybe do you ever do soldiers? Eggy soldiers? I don't mind them. Egg-wise, if I'm having boiled eggs, that is like I do them the night before. Open, hole in. Yeah, I mean once you've opened them, I don't need to know the further steps.

9:32Romesh Ranganathan:I get it. Literally, but I love nothing but a whole boiled egg in your mouth. Will you ever buy an egg and spinach protein pot from a prep? Yeah, but I just find that they're, I don't, yeah. I like the way I do them. How do you do them? Oh, you've just said, in detail. So much detail. Anyway, so you're literally like it's your drunk. What else do you, Shut up, man. Shut the fuck up.

9:56Scrambled eggs. Shut up, man. Fuck off. You don't know me. You don't know me.

10:01Romesh Ranganathan:You start talking about fucking eggs. You like eggs so much. Why do you fucking marry eggs? Lisa! You fucking... Lisa! All right, go on. Sorry. When else do you have an egg then? Two to four in the morning. If I have two in the morning, I'll have two at night. Two at night? Yeah, in the evening. and a four eggs minimum a day. Four eggs minimum. Yeah. Okay, that's good. I think that's quite healthy from what I've read. I like it. But also it's, you know, eggs, pancake. Eggs is just... No, no, don't start... Don't... Eggs is such a beautiful thing to cook and cement with. Cement in a recipe. Right, yeah.

10:35You can see a recipe that doesn't... They're a binding agent, aren't they? Yeah, just, you know, such an underrated part of our society. Yeah, well, I don't think they're underrated. I don't think eggs are underrated. Can I say nothing better than slicing up an egg real fine, real slice, right? And then putting it in with a bit of tuna fish, stick it in, nice bit of salty butter.

10:53Romesh Ranganathan:I imagine you're doing that in a public workplace mostly. Sliced egg with tuna. What an antisocial prick. What do you do? Put the sandwich together and then just cock your leg and let one go? I love to just slowly, yeah. It's all about the bread. Soft bun actually is fucking lovely with that. I am I do you think you'll ever eat an egg again or is that it for you I think it's possible really yeah I'd love to be there what I'd love that is something like there's very few things actually you know what I'd probably have that above watching a World Cup final what live at the stadium you'd rather watch me eat an egg yeah the first time than be at the World Cup final no watching you eat an egg for the first time what the fucking hell are you talking about what are you talking about the feeling of like watching you have an egg for the first, like scrambled...

11:43What do you think I'm going to do? Mate, you've not had an egg. But my head's not going to fall off.

11:47Romesh Ranganathan:I don't know. It would blow your mind, though. I don't think it's going to blow my mind. I bet the way I do scrambled eggs would absolutely knock you silly. You go, oh, fucking hell, that's good. Oh, bloody hell. What do you think I'm eating day to day? Just cardboard? No. Oh, my God, the flavours. The seasoning. The texture. Is that what you think it's going to happen? I'm going to have some emotional moment. I just think it would be lovely. I'm not fucking Tom Hanks on Castaway. I eat regularly decent flavoured food no no but eggs just give you something so special right yeah you know how good would it be you give up tickets to the World Cup final and then I go yeah slightly better than I thought yeah that would be good yeah but also I think the World Cup final quite a lot of time is really overrated yeah that is true I think that's fair we get very penned up thinking it's going to be this epic game yeah well because everyone's so nervous yeah but also the last one I had so many friends who went out and it was like fomo fomo like proper like we can't not be there mate once in a lifetime yeah once your lifetime must get into a final i was like well it did happen like two years ago yeah and they're like we have to go we have to go and they all went and said it was the biggest waste of money they've ever lost yeah it wasn't it was an okay game yeah but like the fucking accommodation was shit the fucking transport was whatever they none of them come back going oh yeah we lost but that was a great weekend yeah that was shit no i get it so i do think it's a very overrated thing anything like that we put too much eggs underrated eggs massively underrated finals overrated yeah because eggs are there every day what does that mean because they're there every day so it's easy just to brush under what the work they're doing like if the World Cup final happened every day that would become underrated you go oh fucking hell oh Brazil won today Eurogans won today there's always a World Cup final every other day the thing is I don't even know how to even fucking begin to engage with this conversation no but it's true the things because we There's very few things in the modern world that are held up as a massive moment.

13:44More and more stuff now because we devour the media or whatever so quickly. Content. So it's very few things that are held as a spectacle in the modern world, I think anyway. And now the World Cup final being one of them.

14:01Romesh Ranganathan:Album releases aren't as good as they used to be. No way. And who listens to a whole album now? I mean, I do all the time. but what I'm saying is they're quite disposable now as it used to be an event you know you'd go down to the record shop queueing outside HMV you'd go down to the record shop and scrape your pennies together sleeping bag out he says the new Max Bygrave single of all years come out I can't wait to hear what Biggie's got to say in his latest album apparently he's really letting them have it and then that would be the only you could only afford oh Oh, someone's pissed in my sleeping bag.

14:39Romesh Ranganathan:You only can afford one album a month, so it didn't matter what the quality of it was. You'd listen and listen and listen till you liked it. Oh, someone's eating all of my vegan sausage rolls. We threw them in a fucking pinion mug.

14:56Romesh Ranganathan:I'm trying to make a point about the music. Okay, sorry. I was just like the characters. Yeah, but why am I getting fucking bullied? No, the character. What character? I said you. It's just a cat. Of course. The vegan sausage rolls. The voice. It was a guy sleeping outside. You've got no memories going to a record shop, have you? Oasis. Oh, yeah. Okay, sorry. I was banging to Oasis. Fucking edgelord. I loved that shit. He loved all the underground stuff. I got so angry at the Oasis where people did it. Well, I was watching people who only know the movie. Because you were at Nedworth, right? No.

15:35Yeah, back in the day I went quite a lot. But when I was at Wembley this time around, and I could see people just singing Don't Look Back in Anger and sort of like, you know, the more popular songs. And then when I was doing a little B-side and I'd really loudly sort of sing and I'd look down and see someone couldn't sing them, I'd be like, fuck it.

15:50Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I think that's cool when somebody's policing everyone's fun. Those always feel like the people that you'd want to hang out with the most. They're at Oasis, a band they've followed for years and years and years. They know all the songs. It should be a recipe for a great night, But instead, what I'm going to choose to do is really hunt around for a way to make myself annoyed. And I found it. I'm going to be fucked off with people that are there that don't know the songs as well as I do. He doesn't even know half the world away, mate. How could he fucking call himself a fan? I'm going to have to say something.

16:21The real fans missed out today because he's fucking here. In fairness to you, that is why I didn't get tickets. Yeah, but I think that's a beautiful thing. I do think that's what I'm talking about with FOMO and things. Because I like them. I think they're a great band.

16:32Romesh Ranganathan:but do I deserve to be there for such a hot ticket? No. I think that's what I found about anything where it's just an event to be seen at. Although I'm going to go see Bruno Mars in the summer. You should go and see Bruno Mars. One of the greats. Yeah, incredible. I forgot how good he was. I forgot. You don't realise. He's got a beautiful voice. Every now and again he goes. Who's he collabing with on this? What do you mean? Is it Tim and someone else or is it just him? I don't know. Harry Styles is out at the same time, right? Yeah. What did you make of Harry Styles? What did I make of him? great marathon runner really did a sub 3 what does that mean less than 3 hours what yeah he is fit anyway the point is his body is incredible I keep getting told by Martin Toosmooth friend of the show that Harry Styles is an amazing artist but I've not listened to any of his albums I used to love I used to love One Direction did you yeah I like their songs what's your favourite One Direction song oh mate it's gone out of my head now you've asked me I like their first one what's the one um

17:37Romesh Ranganathan:yeah that's good that's what makes you beautiful that was fucking bangs there's one that I like I like sad songs I know you do that's what I like to make just imagine cat walking in one day and you're sat in the living room on your own listening to One Direction just looking sorry for yourself single tear running down the cheek I think it's moments that's my favourite song of day how does it go I want to play it for you now because I'll ruin it. We won't be able to use any of this. You think we can get licensing for a fucking One Direction song on the podcast? I'll listen to it. We're barely allowed to play the fucking theme tune, you mad bastard.

18:13Romesh Ranganathan:Anyway, what we'll do is you play it and then I'll do a description of it. Okay. Can I just say something? There are certain songs that make me feel quite sad. What I've realised now, you shouldn't ever watch somebody listening to a song like that. That means that. I hated that. What's wrong with that? I think the song's good and I really love you but watching you have that moment with the song I found disgusting yeah but that's the thing I have no like I can't hide how a song emotionally touches sure it's beautiful that song it's such a yeah so actually there's quite a lot of a lot of their their songs that really yeah I like One Direction yeah they're good they're great they're great and by the way if people think we don't have hot takes on this show yeah some people think we've lost a bit of edge and we're not willing to say what counts.

19:01Romesh Ranganathan:But there you go. We both think One Direction are quite good. Are you going to go... Did you watch the Simon Cowell new video? You're all right. The Simon Cowell show that's just come out on Netflix about putting together a new band. No. No, I've not watched that. Is that good? Yeah. I quite enjoyed it. I think it's called... I think it's called 10th of December or something. Right. I quite enjoyed it. So hold on. He's putting together a new band. He's got a new band. And the band are called 10th of December. How good are they? I don't think they're a wonder I mean look it's a very he's going out on this is it he's basically I mean the drama of it's very high end and Simon is like this is my last chance this is my last chance sorry sorry can I just say listen I like Simon Cowell yeah in as much as you can like him you know I'm still not sure of him what I mean is Simon this can we just stop with the fake Jeopardy yeah this is your last chance he's a fucking multi-millionaire can I just say do you know what Simon stop just stop you've made more money than you can spend over like 10 lifetime what they're trying to show him this is that he's trying to give the kids a chance the cringiest bit of this he goes full Brent he goes full like he basically picks these three the three bad boys and he does this thing where he goes I've got you together with me because I used to be a bit like you I was a naughty boy at school I was a bit I lived on the edge I was a bit of a rascal when I was younger I know what it is to be naughty and it's just all a bit like trying to sort of be in with the cool kids.

20:30It's a bit... And then there's this sort of really pretty long-haired boy in the group. Why have you sat forward like that?

20:36Romesh Ranganathan:No, I'm just moving. It's almost like you've interested yourself with where this conversation's going. Okay. You're like a paedophile. And then there's this... And then there's this really pretty long-haired boy. There's this pretty long-haired boy, yeah. It's very Brent. Yeah. I quite enjoyed it. But you watched it all. How many episodes? I think it's eight, I think. You've watched all eight? Yeah. Fucking hell, man. Yeah, okay. I was as well. We'll have a spin, though. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Anyway, so that is...

21:09Well, how have you been?

21:11Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, um... Pre-cupcake. Yeah, really good, thank you. Just still plodding away with the play. Is the play... Is it everything you dreamed it would be a more? Yeah, I've really enjoyed it. Have you itched the West End bug, or do you think you'll become like a West End? I'm not going to become a West End. I think it's in between those two. So I'm not completely done with doing theatre, but I'm not now going to become a theatre guy. No, no, no. I can see you. But I can see myself doing it in the future, but, you know, not any time soon. What would be the next play that you'd like to do? What sort of thing?