In short
The episode is about improving diet (cutting processed foods and sugar), worrying about heart disease, and planning a “Wolf and Owl” club night with a CPR demo. Tom and John debate branding for Tom’s protein/electrolyte company (mandrill logo confusion; “Fage/Fayyé” yogurt pronunciation; “Storm Energy” ad snippet). They share what they ate: overnight oats with Fage yogurt, banana and local honey; a Pret satay chicken baguette; a “protein salad/protein plate.” They discuss learning CPR, including a story about a comedian faking a heart attack and a front-row audience member doing CPR. They also tell an Edinburgh anecdote: Tom was doused with a fire extinguisher by unknown lads, then police intervened.
Guests
none mentioned; only the hosts (Tom and John) and referenced people (e.g., Ramesh, Lisa, kids, Jim, Catherine, Percy, Dolly Parton, Russell Kane).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOTom's Protein Brand Dilemma
0:46 to 2:16
Discussion about Tom's protein and electrolyte company and branding challenges.
“I don't know if anybody's aware, Tom has got a protein company, an electrolyte company.”
Healthy Eating Habits
2:17 to 3:57
Conversation on healthy eating, focusing on processed foods and breakfast choices.
“then veered onto the fact that you've decided that you're eating fewer processed foods, which you should all be doing.”
Pronunciation and Food Packaging
3:58 to 5:20
Debate over the correct pronunciation of yogurt and how much attention to pay to packaging.
“I know, but what I'm saying to you, well, that's that name.”
Concerns About Heart Health
5:21 to 6:56
Humorous yet serious discussion about fears of heart disease and the importance of CPR.
“Now, when you're on the podcast, it's a protein salad.”
Learning CPR and Its Importance
6:57 to 8:52
Exploring the need for CPR knowledge and its relevance in emergencies.
“There'll be these fucking right wing pricks going, it used to be you could watch Tommy Cooper dying on stage.”
A Comic's Heart Attack Story
8:53 to 10:35
An anecdote about a comedian who faked a heart attack during a show and the resulting chaos.
“You've got like a heart costume with a cape.”
Personal Assault Story
10:36 to 14:00
Tom shares a story about a random attack involving a fire extinguisher and police intervention.
“So anyway, I'm just like, what the fuck?”
Fireworks and Anecdote Etiquette
14:00 to 17:40
Discussing the repercussions of fireworks and sharing anecdotal norms.
“Because I know, also, you're an ex-teacher, right?”
Diet and Health Choices
17:40 to 19:05
Exploring dietary changes and the extremes of food choices.
“What happened is, and this isn't, you know, a visual thing or like literally just for health.”
Silverstone Gig Experience
19:05 to 20:24
Sharing experiences from a gig at Silverstone and its cancellation.
“I have got incredible news about Silverstone.”
Show all 17 chapters
Service Station Grievances
20:24 to 21:55
Critiquing a dirty service station experience and discussing truck stop ideas.
“See, I think that's got you written all over it.”
Wolf and Owl Club Night Plans
21:55 to 24:50
Announcing plans for a club night and discussing potential activities.
“I, as well, I'd want to be there too much.”
Meditation and Sleep Tips
24:50 to 28:00
Sharing personal sleep tips and discussing the impacts of weather on well-being.
“No, but I think we could do a sing-along.”
Overcoming Sleep Challenges
28:00 to 30:00
Discover effective methods for improving sleep during hot weather.
“My brain just works in such an awful way.”
Misunderstandings Over Dog Walking
30:00 to 34:10
Explore an amusing and relatable story about communication breakdowns while handling pet responsibilities.
“And when I say we, Lisa's been doing most of that.”
The Importance of Communication in Relationships
34:10 to 36:40
Learn about the complexities of communication and how misunderstandings can arise between partners.
“and what becomes clear is that we've just misunderstood.”
The Light We Share
36:40 to 37:50
Consider how small acts of kindness can brighten someone's day and the importance of sharing positivity.
“also I will genuinely think this fucking heat is a killer.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Romesh Ranganathan:What are you trying to avoid? Just too many processed foods. Okay, so what have you eaten today? Actually, this is we're wasting gold here. Hello, welcome. Sorry, we were debating before. Hello. People go, we're doing it. Let's try again. Hello. Hello. Time for the Wolf and Owl podcast. Another week, another load of shite. Wipe your bum. Purse your lips. Wipe your bum and sit down for another turnout. It's the Wolf and Owl. Let a shit in your ears.
0:45Romesh Ranganathan:So we were just talking because Tom, I don't know if anybody's aware, Tom has got a protein company, an electrolyte company. It's difficult to know which because the electrolytes have done slightly better than they were anticipating. Phenomenally better. and so they're in a little bit of a conundrum on how to define the brand yeah and also if I'm honest with you we are really looking at rebranding some of the packaging it's quite aggressive the packaging I think I don't think is it aggressive? you've got like a sort of a mandrill picture yeah but I think people think it's a lot more alpha than it actually is supposed to be right I get a lot of messages from people going I want to try this but is it just for men?
1:22Romesh Ranganathan:if you don't know it's an animal it does sound very like a mandrill I actually literally had that message someone you know someone literally messaged me that today mandrill oh come on man yeah and i said it's a monkey it's from go watch the lion king yeah it's the guy who basically well i wouldn't say that it was like disney starts sniffing around you in deep shit why well you start telling people it's from the lion king no not from the lion king but i know people are asking if you're going to pick out a mandrel you go oh look the guy i get that i get that but what i'm saying is if random people are approaching you online and going what's the what's the mandrill about and you go have you seen the Lion King.
1:55Romesh Ranganathan:It's only Disney start going, have you seen there's a fucking protein company that have used Rafiki as their logo? By the way, I'd have loved to use Rafiki. But Rafiki, by the way, would be the worst product placement for a brand that wants people to put on muscle. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, because he was quite skinny, wasn't he? Bit of life. Anyway, the conversation then veered onto the fact that you've decided that you're eating fewer processed foods, which you should all be doing. Yeah. I'm, yeah, trying to. So talk me through what have you eaten today. So for breakfast, I had overnight oats.
2:33Very good. With farge yogurt, which is a cheat code.
2:37Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. If you want. Is it a cheat code? Everybody keeps talking about how Greek yogurt is a cheat code. Shout out Greek yogurt. Shout out Greek yogurt. Drop the horn in. I wish we could do that on this podcast. I believe, I don't think it's pronounced, what is it, how is it pronounced? Is it pronounced farge? Faj, yeah. Fajé. Fajé. See? It says it on the tub. I knew that it says on the tub how it's pronounced. Who's looking on a tub of yoghurt? I know. What fucking, what dicks are looking? You know what? You've just been talking about how you want to be more careful about what you put in your body, and now you're bragging about the fact you don't look at the packaging for stuff you're about to eat.
3:15Romesh Ranganathan:You're a fucking walking contradiction, man. I know. Who the fuck is looking at the fucking tub of what they're buying? If I'm looking at the time, I'm looking at what's in it. I'm not looking at, oh, how do you pronounce this? Well, are you picking what to... Oh, no, it's pronunciation. I'm going to steer clear of that. I'm not a fucking nerd. Let me stick to the ingredients. You don't choose what to read on the packaging, do you? Yeah, no, but it's like reading the book. There's some bits you speed through. You know, like if you read... This is... Do you know what you sound like? Someone that's gone on a football show who's not watched a game in his life.
3:51Romesh Ranganathan:you try to be a pundit on reading
3:57there's some bits you scroll through quite quickly I reckon I've got that but it is pronounced
4:02Romesh Ranganathan:Fayyay Fayyay I've been calling it Farge and people know if I go into a supermarket and go have you got any Farge they go oh yeah come with me I don't doubt that yeah because it looks like it's Farge yeah but when people go to you I love that podcast you do with Ramesh that's not correct but you know who they're talking about that is not by the way that's offensive because that's your name. I know, but what I'm saying to you, well, that's that name. Yeah, it's a product. So, yeah, there's a guy called Faye, years ago, said, I want to make a really great Greek-style yogurt that's going to be a cheat code.
4:32If he's named it after himself, it's very arrogant. Andy Faye, it's famous. Can we look it up? Andy Faye. Andy Faye. Andy Faye. Andy Faye sounds great, by the way. Can we look it up? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage. Andy Faye. That's the sound of zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine, and the power to burn body fat. Storm, energy for life. Storm Energy Blend helps boost metabolism, which in combination with exercise and a healthy diet helps burn fat. This product alone does not produce weight loss. Individual results may vary.
5:03Romesh Ranganathan:Pay-ya. Pay-ya. Means to eat in Greek. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I knew that. You didn't know that. It was on the back of the packaging. no but yeah so so overnight it's a little bit of banana yeah a little bit of local honey in there a spoonful um and then lunch where you saw it for lunch i had a uh a satay chicken satay baguette from pret and a uh protein uh salad it's a chicken salad tom dude just call it what it is man a protein salad that's what it's called that's what it's called who the fuck are you that's what it's When I asked you before we did the podcast, what have you got? You went, I've got a chicken salad.
5:42Romesh Ranganathan:Now, when you're on the podcast, it's a protein salad. That's what it's called. It's called the protein plate. You didn't call it that out there. It's called a protein plate. That's not what you called it out there. Yeah, but I didn't want to bamboozle you. What did you think? I was not going to understand about that. You're just holding it like, I want you guys to have a chicken salad. But actually, if you looked at it, it wasn't a real salad. What do you mean? Well, it was like chicken. It was a lot more protein than salad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so is that how you're eating a lot now? Good, I'm proud of you.
6:09I'm really pleased. I think I've become obsessed with it to the point. I was just looking on my algorithm, and there's a guy, you know when people are saying, my big thing is belly fat, right? And this isn't, by the way, a thing of, I worry a lot about visceral fat and heart attacks and all this sort of stuff. It's one of my biggest worries. I mean, that's how I'm going to go. Yeah, I think both of us will. It's just a matter of time.
6:33Romesh Ranganathan:I think I'll go before we bring an end to this podcast. Bless you. The saddest thing is... Do you know CPR? Yeah. Yeah. I knew you would. I'm quite confident that, yeah. I don't want to be... Will you at least just stop the cameras? Can I say, but... No way. That'd be fucking great. And then what are you going to do? Release the footage? Yeah, of course. What would you do? Put it behind the paywall? John on top of you like that. Rom, you're going to survive. There'll be all these fucking... There'll be these fucking right wing pricks going, it used to be you could watch Tommy Cooper dying on stage.
7:05Romesh Ranganathan:Now we've got to fucking watch this c***. Anyway, heart disease, very worried about it. Yeah, but also, I do worry about the CPR thing. We should all learn it, right? Yeah. I've not bothered. I feel actually really bad. But then I worry about the fact that if you take, like John, good guy, he's learned it, you learn the CPR and then you get a heart attack, no one around you knows what to do, but you do and then you're trying to tell people what to do. I think it's very rare that somebody who's suffered a heart attack then becomes a consultant for the person conducting the CPR on them. I would be really fucked off if I started to collapse with a heart attack and you started knocking me on the forehead going, so what do I do now?
7:45I wouldn't knock you on the forehead. I'd know what you'd do. But my worry is you've got to do it really hard for a start, John. Because people say you've got to break a couple of ribs. That's not the method.
7:58Romesh Ranganathan:That can happen. Yeah. But the instructions aren't break a couple of their ribs. Mate, if I'm bearing down on you and I'm giving you heart a motion, there's a good chance you're going to lose a couple of reasons I'm going to say this now if I have a heart attack during the podcast just let me go really I don't want to suffer I don't want to suffer the indignity Theo, Charlie Alex and Lisa in the eye at your funeral I've just finished my song I come off right I walk up and go I'm so sorry but he didn't want me and John to save him and then John goes up to Lisa and the kids and goes John comes out and goes we'll talk about this when we get home we can finally make this happen darling to Theo so John goes over and goes I mean Tom did everything he broke two of Ramesh's ribs put him in the ribs sadly that was four hours after he died but we should probably all know that yeah I think we should shouldn't be so let's just we're missing a trip taught in colleges and schools well if you work in an office you'd normally get that kind of training what everyone one yeah i did i've every off well john's shaking his head every office job i've had and teaching job yeah we got cpr training but i mean i would need to have it i would need to have it refresh yeah heart and blowing huh so it's a breath and the heart yeah yeah breath and the heart breath and the heart do you remember that thing in the office when they were teaching them on that dumb it's so funny um that's so funny so i think you're right i think we should all learn it Yeah.
9:30Romesh Ranganathan:We should do it at the club night. Yeah. We should, stop the song. You come out as Captain Heart. Yeah. Right? You've got like a heart costume with a cape. You come sprinting out. Yeah. We pretend someone, well, Percy pretends he's having a heart attack and you come and save him. Yeah. I mean, I don't think I want, I want people to actually think that there's a heart attack happening. Yeah, but I mean, it's sport now. It's a bit of a spoiler for the whole thing. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I wouldn't say spoiler. I would say it saved the moment. really.
10:02Romesh Ranganathan:Percy's like that drops to the ground. I'm not going to name the comedian. Oh no. Right. But years ago... Can you bleep it out please? The problem is if he listens to this he's going to know this is who we're talking about because this is what happened to him. He also started on me once in Edinburgh. He started on you? Yeah. Years before that he had the judges coming in to his Edinburgh show. Yeah. And so he's come around going I've got the judges coming in could you please could you please come and watch to give a bit of support and so obviously yeah they'll do that what is this after he started on you no no no no this is before so but I still would have done it after you know it's hard fucking comedy is hard man anyway so I go to watch his show and you know the show was whatever there's a bit in the show where he pretends to have a heart attack what really yeah pretends to have a heart attack so he did it every night I guess so yeah I mean I only went on the if you think I went every night to double check no just like if that was a bit but bearing in mind he's got us in because the judges are in that night yeah so we go and sit like the Edinburgh award judge so we sit I'm sitting watching he pretends to have a heart attack and then he's not having or it becomes clear he's not having a heart attack as he's starting to have that pretend to have the heart attack somebody from the front row ran over to start doing CPR like they're wow right they think it's an emergency then there's a lighting change it becomes clear he's not having a heart attack and the guy just goes oh fuck this and then just walks out as you would do you think somebody's having a heart attack yeah it's nothing to mess around with that's by the way he's doing that for clout starting on you I don't there was no clout to be had at that stage or it's just jealousy I don't think I don't know why did you start on you I've got no idea man I don't know you're an amicable chap there's no real reason like it's not you know as you know I got somebody sprayed a fire extinguisher on me when in Edinburgh what what is all this stuff have I not told you this story no I'm walking back to my flat and I can't remember which year in Edinburgh this was I mean I can't remember I can't even what a street but it's quite a busy road yeah this is actually this story ends quite embarrassingly for me but as I'm walking like I'm pretty close to my flat at this point four lads jump out from behind this thing and then one of them just fucking douses me with a fire extinguisher.
12:31Romesh Ranganathan:Do you think it was a random attack? I think it was a random attack, yeah. So anyway, I'm just like, what the fuck? Because, you know, I'm on my own in it. I didn't have anybody, you know, it was a bit of like a shot. Just by sheer coincidence, a police car came around the corner. They've seen what's happened. They immediately jump out, grab the lads. so I'm like okay this has been dealt with but oh man so you're standing in the street you're doused with soaking wet yeah soaking wet or foamy I because I'm so angry about what's happened oh no I was hoping the end of the story was you going officers they were young boys they were having a bit of a jape having a laugh no real harm cause I'm a little bit soaked but it's my way I think I said something along the lines Oh my God.
13:24Romesh Ranganathan:All I've done is come up here to try and do a show. Oh my God. Oh my God. What? What's this country coming to? Oh my God. I'm just coming up to a fucking show. It was like that. I shouldn't be wet. It was like that. I should be bloody dry. I've got a free star off bloody Steve Bannon. yeah in a fucking shit show in a fucking shit yeah it's embarrassing man yeah did the boys get taken away did they get arrested I don't know I think they I think the truth is you can arrest them for that but they're not going to get arrested I think I said something along the lines of I didn't want it to be taken any further don't please don't say leave it leave it just let them know eh there's bloody repercussions for fireworks mate and fire hydrants and fire stuff that could save someone's life if there's a fire down at the bloody place now I don't I don't know what anecdote etiquette is but what I would say is when somebody says to you I'm embarrassed about this the kind thing is to not then fucking go in two-footed on something they're already embarrassed about.
14:39You love two-footed that's why I've learnt my skills
14:42Romesh Ranganathan:No but I think if I'd have gone no I think when you go two-footed on someone they're telling an anecdote is when they're proud of when they sort of deliver the story with that when they deliver a story and like imagine if i'd have gone and then i said to him fucking i've just come to edinburgh to to bloody do a show right if i just said that like that then you go fuck you know you didn't that's how you don't go i'm really embarrassed of what happened you should be embarrassed you sad little you but you don't let yourself down in that scenario what do you mean you're always yes i do you're quite meek in those situations where i do let myself down by i did let myself down you let yourself down that's what i mean you let yourself so you're never going to be a guy who turns around and acts like a prick you you've got a sweetness about you a vulnerability so i've got so because i've got let's just examine the logic of what you just said because i've got a sweetness and a vulnerability you have to go in two-footed no no no that is what you're saying no no no i'm not right in this scenario never at one point have i said i'm right but i find it hysterically funny that you stood in the middle of a street.
15:45Romesh Ranganathan:Look, it's embarrassing. And reprimanded. Because I know, also, you're an ex-teacher, right? You have got a teacher in you, right? So I know that there's an angle that probably was like, and where did you get this bloody fire extinguisher from? Did you say anything like that? That's a bloody fire. No, I didn't say that. The boys in blue are going to be after you. I said, God forbid the building you took that from is as a fire tonight. Somebody going, don't worry, I've got this under control. Were you quite known at this point? or were they all right? No, completely unknown. I think that might have been...
16:15Romesh Ranganathan:I don't even think I was doing a solo show that year. I think I was just like doing mixed build gigs. So yeah, some completely unknown. Do you have any flies in your back pocket or drenched? I'll put quite a lot of that. That's an empty crowd tomorrow. Look at these. Actually, Tom, you've been taking the piss. I had to put my mobile phone in some rice. Really? Yeah. So that's a bit... You don't have to do that now. It's a bit embarrassing for you, isn't it? Because I went through trauma. Yeah. Bit sad in Edinburgh. No phone. had to draw it off in some tilda so
16:47so shame on you I would say that I feel bad about it I didn't realise it was such a drenching that you had to sort of like limp home and go back just trying to do
16:57Romesh Ranganathan:a bloody show just give it to your housemates by the way by the way don't get paid for it you've got to do a bucket collection one of the kids going sorry man and giving you a story No, no, no, no. I'm just trying to bring my art to Edinburgh. Oh, you'll be sorry. One day, I'm going to be big. You mark my words and then you'll be sorry. Do you think there's ever been a time when those lads are watching League of the Run and going, hey, fucking hell, that's that wanker that we fucking split with the Farest English show. They were so pissed. Yeah. I can't... That would be great. Imagine if they now listen to The Wolf and I and realise it was them that did it to me.
17:36Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. It was me that they did... Oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's a beautiful thing, though. yeah yeah full circle where did this digression start by the way we've talked about heart attacks oh there you go yeah yeah yeah anyway do not resuscitate yeah anyway so i've that now a wag this is the first i think this might be the first time we've got back to the origin you're not eating a lot of processed foods yeah uh no i've i've given up i'm trying to cut back on processed stuff. Yeah. And too much sweet. What happened is, and this isn't, you know, a visual thing or like literally just for health.
18:13Yeah. Because my diet, I can stray too much into everything I do is done by extremes. Yeah. I get it. As we know from the Dublin, the Krispy Kreme. Yeah. In fact,
18:24Romesh Ranganathan:a lot of people were worried about the lack of concern you showed for yourself by getting involved in that one chip challenge. Yeah. Despite having... Yeah. That was, yeah. Boiled chicken. Yeah, but this is what I mean. You, with the apprehension, and this is the sweet vulnerability, I would do anything to play up to a crowd and be someone's friend. Oh, I get it. So even put my own life at risk. No, it was very sweet. Yeah. It was not as fucking stupid. Although some people said you didn't eat a lot of it. Not you, both of us. Yeah, we've both been chastised about that. Yeah, we have been. I'd arguably say we ate enough for me to have a fiery ass for about three days.
18:59It was a horrible, horrible evening.
19:00Romesh Ranganathan:I had a gig that night. Jesus. Not corporate? No. Have you done Silverstone yet? I have got incredible news about Silverstone. Okay. I don't know what your reaction is going to be to this. You know I did this gig last year. Yeah, how was it when you did it? Great. Brilliant crowd. Right. Great gig. Was Russell Cain hosting? Don't know. Okay. What I can tell you is, my gig went better than yours. Okay? And that sounds like an arrogant thing to say. I don't doubt it though. Have a listen to why. Go on. I was supposed to play Silverstone. Yeah. Silverstone and the booker hadn't been speaking to each other.
19:38Romesh Ranganathan:Silverstone booked somebody directly. I've had the gig cancelled, but I'm getting half the fee. Wow. What a result, right? That's a great result. Anyway, why did you ask me about it? No, no, just because I know it's a big gig. It's a fun gig, by the way. Can I say it? It was a nice crowd. Yeah, and you... I heard a lot of good things about you from Silverstone. It was my good gig of last year. No, shut up. Come on. Don't say that. You had three. Two, three. I had two or three gigs and it went okay. I'm like, oh wow, fuck, this does work sometimes. It was a nice gig. Can I say Russell Cain smashed it that night?
20:11Russell Cain smashes it every night. I know, but he was a fucking great, he read that room. And do you know the most gutting thing, I didn't get to see Dolly Parton because Dolly Parton was on that night and I loved Dolly Parton and I went to the go and see, but she was on at the same time.
20:23Romesh Ranganathan:Dolly Parton has just opened a truck stop. Where? In America. See, I think that's got you written all over it. I think a Tom Davis services would be so sick. I'm obsessed with services. Yeah. Aren't we? I spend so much, like all of us do. Yeah. I went in the other day with Jim, lovely Jim. This place. Are you going to give it a shout out? No, because this is what I'm about to say. I'm not going to go in. Because you normally shout out all of your friends that had horrible afflictions when they're at school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to shout out this place. On the outside, look, we're like, oh, this looks like a nice one.
21:02We both got quite excited. We went in. I'd say one of the dirtiest places I've been in my life. It was absolutely, the toilets looked like, I don't think they've ever been cleaned. Splatters everywhere. It was just, one of them was roped off. It was like. What, VIP area? VIP. Oh, I think I'll be going in there. I was in Kingarri. Yeah. But yeah, it was grim. And I was like, this place should be closed down. Everything was dirty. picked up three different things that are out of date. Just grim. Just really, really grim. Yeah. And I'll tell you, it's a Waverly. I think it's called Waverly Services.
21:41Waverly? No, not Waverly. Waverly. Waverly. W-E-V, I think. Okay. I didn't even, do you know what? I wish I'd seen the name because I could really just warn people not to go in there. I, um, so I live... I would love a truck stop, though. Yeah, I think you should. That would be something cool. I, as well, I'd want to be there too much.
22:01Romesh Ranganathan:Well, actually, I saw Dolly Parton opening the truck stop. Yeah. And in all the different places, they've got little video displays of her, doing little messages to people. See, that's the kind of vibe I go for. That's what I'm saying. That's what I think you'd be good for. And I'd like to be there probably once a week. I'd turn up. Yeah, Dino, where are you bloody driving to today, mate? Yeah, no, really nice. See you back with Tesco's, Mark. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think you'd be good. That'd be sick. And speaking of stuff we're going to turn up at, should we confirm it's happening? Go on. The club night.
22:34Wow. Very exciting.
Read the full transcript
22:36Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. So we can't get into details. No. All we can say is initially it started as a kernel of a nub of an idea. Yes. Very much like a popcorn kernel. Conversation. Very good. No. Rather than what? A military kernel? Yeah. No, yeah. Okay. Well, the kernel starts as a private. Right. And then he works his way out. Yeah. So at some point, every colonel is just a nubbin. I don't think the lowest rank is nubbin.
23:07Nubbin, Rogan, Nathan, get over here. We've got a job for you.
23:12Romesh Ranganathan:Nubbin. Please don't go in two-footed on me again. What do you do, son? I'm a nubbin in the army. We spoke to our agents. We spoke to some promoters. We spoke to DJs. We spoke to drinks. Pussy! and we spoke don't don't don't don't don't it makes it better if you don't name them okay I'm so excited we spoke to some drinks companies yeah the club the Wolf and Al club night is happening I think what we should also do is speak to it like a sign you know the place you get the light up signs what are they called what's the light in them they use neon neon signs that would look sexy well that's the next question is what exactly are we going to do we know we've got the bit where we do the CPR demo.
23:58Romesh Ranganathan:But what... Fucking bleak is this at the club night. Everyone, if you've had enough of a good time and enough dancing, just go through to the chill lounge where Ramesh and Tom are doing a CPR demonstration. You know a CPR! What else? What would we do? Because you can't... I've done hip-hop club nights. Yeah. It's very difficult to walk around those venues when it's people that are fans. Yeah, yeah. So you can't do the Rocky Balboa type. Yeah, walking around. You can do a beer, but I wouldn't make that my main function of the night. You know what? You could get the giant from Gladiates. We'd get him as a security guard for us.
24:36He'd love that. Just making sure we're both okay. What are we going to do? I guess we just bring the buzz, right? Suggestions, please. Wolfalpod at gmail.com. What should we do at the club? We could do a strip team sort of thing.
24:55Romesh Ranganathan:like you know I was speaking to Flo about this you know what she suggested we do we'd be the guys in the toilets no I mean I'd actually for you that's a no no freshen up why is that a no no for me I just think it's below you I genuinely do I think people would expect to see me in the toilet fucking being thirsty and chatting to people if you're there I think yeah I think you know I think you're you're better than that yeah okay I mean you're not you're not better than that no I don't think I am okay you could be the pot washer or you could help out the doorman. Yeah. So we're helping out behind the scenes.
25:29Romesh Ranganathan:You could be the guy at the door. We'll go check in. You won't see us there. No, but I think we could do a sing-along. Yeah. Also, there's a dress code. Yeah. No trainers. No trainers, shoes only. Jeans, loafers. If you can get French Connection stuff, wear that. Yeah. Hair or brilcoe. Yeah, absolutely. That's the dress code. And then for the women, it'll be like, you know, like I think Oasis, almost exclusively stuff like that do you know what I mean yeah yeah mango mango mango big on the mango yeah we're looking forward to seeing you there dress to impress everyone dress to impress if you had a time machine and what is by the way someone pulled me up about this about the age limit because we've said 35 yeah people have got pissed off about that okay I mean it has to be 18 plus yeah definitely I don't I think you've got to be around 25 to 30 I think I think we'll probably make it 25 and above I think 25 plus okay I'm excited me to yeah what are you gonna wear and we've just literally gone into a massive data what we're gonna know never what you personally gonna wear don't know I'm gonna try and get one of those old-school wear so shirts actually know what I might do well because it's big I might try and get the old leather trousers out oh really I might try and wear I might wear a bandana like oh hey can you imagine and then literally there's a bit of the night where someone hit closest you has to run out and just make sure you've not shit your pants.
26:57Romesh Ranganathan:I need to share one more thing with you before we wrap up. I like that, by the way. What? Makes me feel like an executive. Well, I'm slightly nervous about sharing a thing just before the end. Yeah, because after last time. You're actually like one of those footballers, by the way, who's incredible in the last 10 minutes. You save your best bit of the game for the last time. No, this is not my best bit of the game. This is just, I don't know if it's the temperatures. you're feeling horny no oh okay the opposite quite the opposite actually okay feeling hornless in this temperature but um I uh I'd love you to mediate on an argument I had with Lisa okay I just thought you were going to say I just love the idea of you just rubbing up against like a lamppost because you felt so horny I don't know why I've got this vision in my head like an animal yeah isn't that I'm horny I'm horny oh
27:54I don't know why I find that. Yeah, I don't.
27:56Romesh Ranganathan:But you do, don't you? Literally. My brain just works in such an awful way. I get it, I get it. So last night... Can you put yourself together? I'm trying. I've got a whole family walking past you going, Mummy, what's that man doing? I think it's the weather, dear. Oh, fucking hell. Anyway, go on. How horny are you in this weather? I'm not that horny, but the thought of you being all horny has made me... How are you sleeping in this weather? Terrible. No, but I mean, what are you doing? Oh, mate, I've got to say, game changer completely. Lavender on the feet. Yeah. Completely changer. Magnesium?
28:37Yeah, magnesium always, but lavender on the feet is a... Let me tell you. Yeah. Meditation, by the way. Yeah. Meditation? Yeah, I've told you. since I've had a little meditation, little breathing exercises.
28:49Romesh Ranganathan:So good. The other thing, this is quite sad actually. Yeah. Lisa's bought cooling blankets. What? Cooling. To be fair, that's what I need. Do they work? Okay. So first of all, we have cooling pads for the dogs. Yeah. Right. And so when she said, I've got you a cooling blanket, I thought this is fucking one of Reggie's car stuff said that she's putting on me. I was laying on the bed. This is how I get into bed now. not under the covers at all just boxes same spread eagle trying to maximise heat dispersion yeah she puts the cooling blanket on me oh my god really it was like magic where's it from don't know I need this I thought adding a blanket would make it much worse it actually made it loads better and it's now part of my regime hold up yeah I need to find my knees get a cooling blanket in fact do you know what I'm going to get you on yeah I'll put you in two because I need to get one for Catherine okay it'll be an absolute fucking I'll get you a couple yeah yeah it's um when I remember so I don't know November time you are gonna be freezing tucking into a little call it blank anyway this argument disperse the information what happened last night yeah too hot to take the dogs out of course for their benefit not yours by the way yeah yeah for us it's fine so we're having to take the dogs out really early and then really late 5.30 yeah 5.30 and then really late.
30:14Romesh Ranganathan:And when I say we, Lisa's been doing most of that. Okay. So last night, Lisa says, I'm going to have to take the dogs out later. And I said, the temperature starts to drop about 11. Why don't I take them out at 11? Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. I thought it was going to be, wow. Okay. I didn't think that's where this was going. Okay. So. Lovely. Lovely. Well, it's not. I mean, they're my dogs too, right? Yeah, no, no, no. But I didn't think, I thought, yeah. So I said, why don't I take them out? I thought you were going to go, The temperature gets cold about 11, so I'd head out there. Yeah, no, I'd do that.
30:45I'll be watching a football, love. Yeah, so I said, I'll take... Oh, could you go past the office? We're out of bloody Stellas. Oh.
30:55Romesh Ranganathan:So I go, I'll take them out at 11. For some reason, Lisa kind of ignores that, right? Yeah. And then, I can't remember what she said. She said something like... I don't know what she said, but she didn't really acknowledge that. Which is fine. I just said, okay. and then we're just sitting around and then I I can't remember what happened she was going off to do something I was going off to like I was chatting to one of the kids or something about something and then Lisa comes up to her and goes are we going then? and I go going where? she goes to walk the dogs you're coming right? and I said I didn't think that's what was happening anyway that pissed her off wow so then she goes downstairs and then I go oh no I'll come with you I just didn't realise that was what was happening right?
31:38Romesh Ranganathan:it so then i i walked down there i walked downstairs this is this gets bad so i walked downstairs and i go um i go why did you this was the mistake why did you think i was coming with you right now i didn't know you were going for walking the dogs now and she goes i just thought you were i just said to you i didn't really what was it she said i said to you i don't really like going out late on my own so i don't know but i didn't think that we were going for a walk now I didn't realise you know I was trying to defend my position yeah yeah yeah anyway I must have done that slightly to a sort of front footed lady give it to me now I said well I just don't think I don't understand how from our conversation you think that I should get from that that we're now going for a walk together is what I said okay it's bad right yeah yeah it's bad yeah there's some tension there I acknowledge it's bad then I go but let's go now and she goes do you know what I'd rather go on my own and I go how come because I just rather would so I go okay she walks the dogs on her own what would you do in that situation?
32:49I'd have I'd have probably said look I'll come with you
32:57I didn't say that I'd have probably been and then just tried to defuse the situation. Yeah, I sort of think
33:05Romesh Ranganathan:I'm very much of the school if somebody says they want a bit of space, I will acquiesce and give that immediately. So I don't really, it's not my nature to come. It depends on how the argument is. I know, because really, by the way, I'm saying that like, I think you're right. I should have gone, let me come with you. But I didn't do that. Like, I very much, as soon as somebody, as soon as Lisa... At that moment, you've gone, I'm bloody coming, Lisa. Let's thrash this out. So anyway... Because I'll tell you what, when we get out of this house and the kids can't over here, I'll tell you what, already fucking dinky.
33:38Romesh Ranganathan:She comes back and we don't really talk. It's quite frosty. Oh, God. Okay. Go to bed on it. Oh, that's the worst. Especially with mine and your heart conditions. Get up in the morning. Yeah. Still not good. Oh, wow. Too bad. We're talking, but very functional. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Barbed comments. So then I go out. I have to go to work. And then I text her saying, should we just thrash this out? Now that was a mistake. I should have thrashed it out face to face. Anyway, we start having the conversation and what becomes clear is that we've just misunderstood. You know, there's a complete misunderstanding.
34:14You said about the 11 o 'clock thing. She's not over her. Exactly.
34:17Romesh Ranganathan:All of that, right? But what we then were sort of like is like, we've got ourselves into a situation here where for a night and a morning, we've not spoken properly. And neither of us have actually done anything do you know what I mean what I mean is that a negative situation has arisen from us both thinking that we're helping like do you know what I mean and it's that thing of like communication in a relationship yep is so fucking hard and I was saying to Lisa I actually think there's a lot to be said for just saying exactly what you and I know that's a very that's arguably like a very like thick-headed man thing to say.
34:58Romesh Ranganathan:But I think when you try and do inference or you try and hope that the person jumps to the point you need them to be, that's where I think you can fall down. Can I say as well, there's an aspect that you've been away working a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think I'll text you about this. You become off-kilter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The nuances of how you usually talk to each other come quite, they fall apart slightly and you have to put that back on a way of going, okay, this is how we converse normally. Because also there's always that built-up animosity almost between you. Not animosity, that's the one word, but there's built-up tension sometimes about other stuff that's not about the dogs and it's not about that.
35:40And it's slightly, but a lot of people, a lot of us don't ever actually chat about that. We keep it inside and then an argument will happen and the way you responded with doing that could have been said about something else yeah completely different but i think that's the thing i mean you talk about a lot and it's yeah i'm finding with i mean katherine sort of you go oh we need to we need to just be talking a little bit more or do stuff for ourselves we're really good like a few months ago we were like oh we're doing loads of different stuff together we're going out and we're doing things for us do you know we're doing always do nice things with grace but we're doing nice things for us small things like you know just popping out getting a coffee or getting a bit of breakfast together or whatever.
36:17And then busyness kicks in from both of us. And all of a sudden you go, oh shit, we've not done that now for two or three weeks. And actually that becomes really like, you slightly just fall out of habit of being there for each other and just talking about the small stuff. That becomes, so actually to be fair, I don't think as much, I'll make light of it and joke with you. But that is just, also I will genuinely think this fucking heat is a killer.
36:43Romesh Ranganathan:so look the reason i brought it up is i just i wanted to get your take on it because lisa what the fuck were you thinking man huh uh no but it was just like an intro i just thought i was chatting about it to lisa like it's such an interesting example of like how something just comes from nothing do you know what i mean you've ended up in a you've ended up in a falling out and actually there is no problem there but it's just like that little kind of quite sort of you need one of you to break and we don't very often argue to be honest with you but I think it's like you thinking that the other person is not hearing you that at least that leads to a lot of problems yeah right Tom well about that time my G as a complete juxtaposition you these these last moment you're like um the Dennis Berghamper podcasts as in I won't travel my air.
37:37I think we all know you're always on airplanes but no no he used to he was a guy for the last minute last minute moment he was quite yeah he used to leave a little bit of magic there in the end in his back pocket and that's what you've done for the last two podcasts I respect that my friend I guess that's what I'm trying to say about life sometimes you're holding on to something burning away at you I'm not necessarily talking about negative things sometimes it's a little bit of light that could shine upon somebody's day but what happens if you leave it in your pocket? What happens if you never use that light?
38:11What happens if you walk through your whole day and never say anything kind or decent? I'm not just saying about talking or doing, I'm talking about sharing. I'm talking about sharing the light with people.
38:22Romesh Ranganathan:Oh no. Have you lost your thread because you crossed your legs?
38:30Not a Sharon Stone and completely falling apart.
38:36The truth is, imagine if Gandalf had never actually used his magic, although he did wait until halfway towards the end of the second film to show that he was a magician at all. The truth is that sometimes magic isn't spells and flying pigs. It's actually... Or dynamo with some cards. It's actually just bringing something to somebody's day that they didn't have before. A ruffle of the hair of a young kid. make sure you know the young kid don't do it to a random kid or arm around an elderly person saying hey you're going to be okay getting home all of these things can make someone someone's day so when you're out there in the real world and that's what i call it because there's no real other place make sure you do something that feels pretty decent to someone who needs it
39:27Romesh Ranganathan:good you can just signal to me if you're completely out if you're fucked yeah i mean i've been fucked for quite a few other things. Okay. We've made it a thing now. Thank you so much for listening to this little podcast we call The Wolf. The Wolf and the Owl. And the Owl. We will see you next time. Remember to like and subscribe. Bye. Thank you.
From the publisher
Can Tom save a marriage?
This week on Wolf & Owl, Tom attempts to settle a marital argument while Romesh shares a story involving a fire extinguisher that doesn't quite go to plan.
Elsewhere, the boys discuss health scares, heart attacks, spicy food challenges and we have a very exciting announcement, before wrapping things up in the only way Wolf & Owl knows how, an ever-inspiring monologue from Tom.
A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media.
Chapters
00:00 Intro
00:46 Tom’s electrolyte company
05:57 Health and heart attacks
11:42 Romesh’s fire extinguisher story
18:10 On the spicy chip challenge
18:49 Romesh’s news
20:09 Tom’s bad services experience
22:13 An announcement
26:43 Tom mediates a marital argument
37:10 Tom's Outro
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