Leonardo Di Caprio, Jason Momoa and Fashion Regrets

0:03Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Yes. Boom. Oh my goodness. Oh no, no, no, no. Hold on. It's too late now. We've got to be careful. We've had some complaints about these loud. Anyway, really good to see you. Good to see you. Really great to be here. You're looking nice. I like this jumper. Thank you. Can we talk about your... We've both done the same thing this weekend. Well, recently. Go on. Wardrobe clear out. Yes.

0:34Which we have to be careful about how we talk about it, because I don't want to say I'm getting obsessed with complaints, but the last time we talked about clearing out our wardrobes, there was a comment, and not that I read the comments, but I do read every one. I've not read the comments. Okay, me neither. Me neither. But if I accidentally stumbled across this comment, and that can happen when you read them, is this comment said, you two are really losing touch. Wow. See, I don't think that's... I think that's unfair. I've never been in touch. I've always been touching. Yeah. I've always liked to touch.

1:08It's been one of my biggest... Anyway, you cleared out your wardrobe. Yeah. So talk me through the process. About 65 % of my wardrobe went. 65 %? Yeah, a lot of it. A lot of stuff. Catherine Kate, I had other stuff to do. I didn't want to do it. The other stuff was more pressing. This is because of procrastination. Yeah. And I thought it's either basically having a massive argument by sitting in FIFA for a whole afternoon and trying to win the Serie B, the Scudetto with Juventus. Yeah. Which is... It's boring even to listen to. How dare you? God knows how frustrating it is to sit there while your husband plays it.

1:45She doesn't sit next to me. What are you doing? You come up here, come up here. Are you joking? I sometimes do do that. What? You sit with Lisa when you're playing? I don't sit. So me and the boys will have FIFA tournaments. Yeah, of course, of course. And then we'll ask Lisa to come up and be a spectator. She comes and watches. Do you know how a woman is a queen? She's a queen. I don't know the idea that the mothering that that woman does, and she's sat downstairs reading a book, reading a bit of Ina Blyton or whatever she's reading, right? Yeah. Sit on the sofa. Oh, do you know her so well? Just sat there, just like, oh, this is my time.

2:22I've run the boys around. I've taken them to school. I've helped them with their homework. Romesh is actually picking up some slack, and he's doing a FIFA tournament. Hey! Oi! You! Get up here. We need someone to watch us. Bring some crisps and snacks. Bring some snacks and validation. Tell me I'm doing well and I'm a good boy. Uh-uh, not on the sofa. I'm on Romesh's lap. Sit on my knee, good girl. Anyway, to be fair, she'll come up for about a minute. No, ten minutes. 10 minutes that's a game I know but the boys want to see her can I tell you I know you're being deliberately facetious the whole point is Lisa doesn't like playing FIFA particularly I'd love to pay for her to have lessons so she'd get sick yeah that actually weirdly so she'd get really ill and die how did Lisa die she Tom actually orchestrated it he paid Tom insisted that she was doing nearly 24 hours of lessons a day uh and yeah she just died of exhaustion and then tom what apparently pushed over the top is after all those lessons by god tom walked into the room and said uh romesh says he's quite up for a bit and she killed herself by god you should have seen her ultimate team before she passed it's incredible should have seen what she was unpacking eight legends eight legends in her team at the back so anyway the point is is to you know for her to come up and yes yeah yeah but what happens every time we do that then she we all realize it's a terrible idea are you looking for support in your weight management journey zep bound terzepatide may be able to help zep bound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off zep bound is approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5, or 15 milligram injection.

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5:46Formulated without sulfates or fragrance, CeraVe hair care is suitable for sensitive scalps and all hair types, curl patterns, and color-treated hair. Visit CeraVe.com slash haircare to learn more. Available online and in-store at retailers nationwide. Anyway, so I had an afternoon, and I was meant to be doing some other stuff. And as is my way, I wanted to put the other stuff off. What was the other stuff? Are you not allowed to talk about what the other stuff is? Yeah, I've been for like the last two years writing this book. And I can't write it. I'm struggling. So I sit there and go, chapter one, who is Tom Davis?

6:18And then go, oh, I'm pretty sure that if I have a coffee, that'll make me feel like I can do this. Maybe I should have a bit more breakfast. I'll have another bowl of cereals, and I'll go and do that. And then I ended up doing the wardrobe and getting around like 65 % of the stuff. Do you know what? So I met the woman who does Sort Your Life Out, Dinny, who does that with Stacey Solomon. Incredible woman. I really have lost touch. Yeah, go on. No, I met her at she— You didn't call her in to help you out? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I met her at a thing. and we were at a thing and it's one of my favourite shows that I love it.

6:50What was the thing? Oh, it was like a function thing. Yeah. What's going on? Can I tell you why I keep picking up on this? Why? Because you're so needlessly specific about most of the things you talk about. Then when you go vague, you could never lie to Catherine. No, no, no. I'm an awful liar. You just get so vague. Okay, here we go. It was at Lorraine. We were doing Lorraine. I was doing Lorraine. She was doing this morning, I think. I lost my mind when I met her. Because she's, I'm a big fan. So there's a little corridor with the dressing rooms for both those shows. It's a very small set up now, which is quite sad in a sense.

7:27Also saw Ben Shepard there. God, he's got away, Ben Shepard. He's just smooth all over his head. Yeah. But the good thing about him is he doesn't know it. Oh, Ben. I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking. Ben is a darling. The reason I said that is I do love Ben Shepard. I've got nothing bad to say about him. but I went on this morning I've never been invited on this morning you've been on it loads I've not been on it loads I've been on it like twice three times four times the validation maybe I need is to go on this morning yeah I saw you and Josh talk about it the other week Josh Ridicum on your podcast yeah he literally was smashing it oh he loves this morning yeah I wouldn't say I love this morning but I don't mind it anyway I put my hand on Ben Shepard's back for a photo wow like with you know yeah and I said your back is like sheet rock and you just went, I know.

8:15Wow. You didn't expect that. Yeah. But if I had that back, if I had that back, I don't think I'd ever wear a top. Yeah. I'd be sat on the This Morning sofa facing away from camera. My back, if I could describe it, is like a bus chair. You know a bus seat, a bit hairy, quite soft. Yeah. Yeah. Or a train seat. Yeah. That's what it's like. But yeah, so I met this Denny woman, right? Lost your mind. Yeah, I lost my mind. I was like, and she was quite like, wow, I didn't know you, you know, and I got a picture together. Yeah, it's a big guy getting very excited. Panting and going mad like the dog from Pets Life.

8:52A big dog when he loses his head. God, that is the energy you've got. Yeah, it's very much me. So, yeah, we started chatting and I said, my wife keeps saying to me about getting rid of stuff. And she's like, you've got to basically do a thing. If you haven't worn something for a year, just get rid of like you get rid and if you just got to look at everything quite critically and go is that saying i want anymore so and i just literally took that energy and i went into and it was one of the i would say i found it more fun than fifa i went in it was like i was you know i actually tried to teach it i was simon cowell right on x factor and every bit of clothes was a young person coming in with a dream yeah or like a singer you know some stuff was like you know i'd look at and go oh this this can't sit and then i'd put it on and go so basically sort of exploited it for a while until it was no use to you anymore.

9:44Yes. And then did you pick out the ones that got mental health issues and make a funny clip out of them?

9:52That's what I do. All my clothes. Did you compare all the dark stuff to a young Stevie Wonder?

10:04It's such an insane time that was. Oh, it's fucking mad. You know, when you see clips from back there, It's not, really it's not that long ago. Yeah. But then you watch the sort of shit that was being said and you think, I cannot fucking believe it. Do you know also the person I can't stand of all of it is that sniveling little twerp, Louis Walsh. Louis Walsh, yeah. I can't stand him. Do you know what? If I could go in Misfits with anyone, it would be Louis Walsh. Really? I mean, that is the mismatch of the century. I'm looking forward to opening the papers on Sunday morning. Louis Walsh dead.

10:39just you carrying a severed head maybe what I'll have to if Louis Walsh sparked you out fuck it mate it could happen heavyweight boxing yeah he's a well-weight at best like maybe like you know maybe I should train someone up who could fight maybe I could train Josh Woodencombe up to fight Louis Walsh yeah that's a good shout I have you know as you know I'm in the era of my life now I'm trying to not dismiss anybody as a helmet yeah Yeah. Louis Walsh is, I'm sorry, mate. But he is, yeah. I mean, he's a pretty, he's a dodgy guy, right? Yeah. He's a gross little troll. Yeah. Did I ever tell you the boy band story yet?

11:19No. Okay. So, I know it's good because you stroked your beard. Years and years ago. On a lighter pipe. Yeah. I was about 16. Yeah. 15, 16. And me and my friend used to go into London quite a lot. Yeah. My friend Sam Walker, he was, his dad had a, a shops in Common Garden. Yeah. selling retro stuff. Sam was one of my best friends growing up. What sort of stuff was Sam into? Why are we talking so much about Sam now? Because he's a really good guy. Okay, fine. And he's actually a reminiscence and thinking about a lovely person in my life. So he's very important. Do you ever think about him now? Yeah, what does I?

11:51Yeah, yeah. It's a sad thing. We've kind of lost touch. We've actually got back in touch recently. Oh, okay. I was almost inspired by you on Michael McIntyre's whatever show. Oh, yeah, me, Dylan. Dylan, yeah. I sort of was jealous of that. So I sort of tried to get in touch from Michael McIntyre. Yeah. Yeah. And then, yeah, it's not quite this. Anyway. Did you just recreate it in an empty theatre?

12:15Just how did Michael McIntyre lookalike turn up his work? I couldn't get Michael McIntyre so you got that guy who does David Brent. David Brent lookalike. Do you remember him just a bit? Why was he doing that dance? I don't know. Tom do you remember Sam Walker

12:41I'd love to make you know that would be my dream to make a shiny floor show that was that fucking at base that eggy anyway so Sam Walker but Sam was a really like good looking kid he was like angelic looking good looking you know yeah yeah good body used to go one of the first people I ever knew really like Ben Shepard Yeah, fuckable. Yeah, yeah. Maybe if his neck smelled good. It was delicious. So me and Sam, we'd go out drinking a lot. His dad had the shop, so we used to go around Covent Garden, underage drinking. And we were in this bar one this one night, and to this day, I'm not sure if it was or if it wasn't, but in my head it was this guy who's Irish.

13:25He comes over to us, and he starts chatting to Sam. And he's like, oh, you know, have you ever thought about being in a boy band? you'd be great in the boy band you'd be brilliant and sam sort of like i can't really sing he said oh don't worry about that and uh i was basically like at the time you know he's talking to sam i start going oh i can sing a bit now and i've written some songs because i used to have think we talked about this before i used to write sort of songs when i was younger and he was like all right mate yeah yeah and he sort of got his arm around sam and i'm sort of like going yeah no no i'd you know i could do you know i like probably more than he does like singing um and i'm sort of almost cock blocking him.

14:01I'm sort of chatting about it. Yeah, by the way, quite a dick move by you. No, but Sam wasn't really interested. Yeah, sure, but Sam at the time. Sam has been presented with an opportunity. Yeah, but Sam was a semi-pro footballer. He didn't want to be a fucking boy band. If anything, Sam was going, oh, he's like, yeah. And then Sam gets up to go to the toilet and I sit next to the guy who sort of recoils a little bit. And I said, oh, you know, I could probably remember one of my songs and sort of chat to you. And he would, would you just fuck off and get a drink and let me do my work? and it was like really angry to this day I swear it was Louie Walsh I might you know the sounds of time Jesus fucking Christ it's such a long story and it's not definitely Louie Walsh yeah but I was drunk what the fuck that's the that's the story about Sam Walker you mad fuck yeah but no no this guy that might have been Louie Walsh told you to fuck off and because of that Louie Walsh is a horrible little fucking troll no no he's a horrible troll for a number of reasons.

14:59Okay. But I swear it was him. I can't sit here and say it was definitely him, but I think it was. Okay. Yeah. You're talking like, you're talking 30 years ago now. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure. I was drunk. I've had all my brain with many different substances since that time. So I'm like, yeah. What happened to Sam after that? Oh, Sam came back and he, like Sam basically. No, I don't mean immediately. I mean, what's Sam gone on to do? He said he's going to be Oh, yeah, we had the stores together doing t-shirts and t-shirts. Oh, lovely. I've probably got some of my happiest memories with him. He's one of these.

15:31We did all our first lads holidays together. Yeah, he's a good guy. So weird for you to really eulogize about this guy that I've not heard you mention once before. I know, yeah. But you know what? That's the thing I'm trying in life, is trying to remember those times. Because you know what the sad thing is about life? As you grow, as you move forward, sometimes things happen in your life. in the last instance of your relationship with someone can come almost the overpowering thing. Actually, you then forget about the happy times. You forget about the sweet times. It's just, you know, so what I'm trying to do now is trying to go, oh, actually, you know what, that was the best moments.

16:10Like my mom always says, you have friends for a reason, friends for a season, friends for life. That's the thing, right? You have these three things, and sometimes you have these friends, they're there for a reason, they're there to be a crutch for a tough time, and then you lose touch for whatever reason. It doesn't mean it was a bad thing. sometimes it's nice to think about it really sweet, really sweet and earnest even for you I'm trying to be more of an open book yeah, please, open even more want to support your gut health? take Activia's gut health challenge by enjoying two Activia yogurts a day for two weeks and see if you feel a difference with billions of probiotics and 20 years of scientific expertise Activia is one of the easiest and tastiest ways to start your gut health ritual try Activia today Enjoying Activia twice a day for two weeks as part of a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle may help reduce the frequency of minor digestive discomfort, which includes gas, bloating, rumbling, and abdominal discomfort.

17:04You tell yourself no one wants your college-era band tees. But on Depop, people are searching for exactly what you've got. You once paid a small fortune for them at merch stands. Now, a teenager who calls them vintage will offer that same small fortune back. Sell them easily on Depop. Just snap a few photos and we'll take care of the rest. Who knew your questionable music taste would be a money-making machine? Your style can make you cash. Start selling on Depop, where taste recognises taste. So anyway, I'm doing the wardrobe. Clearing it out. I've got stuff for Vinted that I'm selling. And I've got stuff that's going to a charity shop.

17:47So I've got two really neat piles. Catherine comes in. How are you determining what goes to charity and what goes to Vinted? There's stuff where I'm like, you know, I just think no one's going to buy that. A charity shop, it just feels like, I took some stuff to a charity shop a few weeks ago, which was nice bits. Went into the charity shop because I chat to them sometimes when I was walking past. Fucking hell. Are they not doing enough?

18:17Well, I like to, because you know like when you give bits to charity, Oh, just sort of look at our tough old date. Oh, fucking hell. Four coffees.

18:30Get the door, Joan. Get the door. I'll be back in a bit because I've actually got two loads. I couldn't bring all the stuff in the first go. So, see in about an hour. No, but you know, you're almost invested. Once you've given the stuff in, you want to see if it sells. No. Really? No, I don't think so. I don't think when you give it to a charity shop you then go you go back and check on stuff just want to make sure the stuff I've given is you know is what I'll pop in and go you know oh my gosh I don't even get see they're not even only seeing you when you're dropping stuff off you're asking for a fucking update on the inventory yeah but otherwise you just go as your stuff moving girl

19:08there's those Nike ads gone you know those Reeboks classics size 12 yeah you're the you're really to be honest with you Tom you're the only one of your size in the town. Sorry I couldn't get the dog shit out of those trainers. How did you get on with those, Joe? Did people mind the skidders? How did you get on with those Calvin Klein pants? Sorry about the gusset all being a bit broke. Anyway, no, I'd pop in and I could, but I popped in and there was like a pair of trainers that I'd given to them and I'm like, and they'd put them up for eight quid. I said, hey, you'll give them more than eight quid for them.

19:43I'm giving that price gun. But, so with Vinted, I'm like, yeah, there's bits of vinted that I'm just like, okay. Are you packaging them up and sending? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and Catherine do it together. Oh, that's great. And then what will you do? Donate the money to charity? Well, yeah, I mean, that charity's called Catherine. She'll sell stuff and then, yeah, I don't, I've never seen any of it. The problem with selling stuff on vinted. Yeah. Because I've done a similar thing of like clearing out. I don't think I cleared out 65%. I just got rid of a lot of stuff. And like, where people go, like, I'm not a hoarder, I've kept stuff for years and years and years.

20:21I'll never wear again because, you know, body changed or whatever. Taste changed. Times changed. But then I think everyone seems to have so much stuff now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the thing. The truth is we should be, in today's day and age, we should be considering our purchases more carefully. But it's probably easier for you to make a friend that you could swap clothes with. like you know because oh no you're that little bit sort of smaller you're what 6 '2 I'm 6 foot dead on exactly that's like average height so literally you could throw a stick out in Covent Garden and meet 20 people that you could like share clothes with what's written on the stick do you want to share clothes with me I wouldn't I don't think I'd never thought of that having a clothes buddy yeah mine would have to be like Greg Davies or Steve Merchant I mean all three of you you've got very similar styles.

21:16I think three people have got completely different styles. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I don't, yeah. I mean, I just don't know how that would go down. No. Actually, me and Greg aren't that far away. From style wise? Yeah, I think he wears some nice bits, Greg. Greg Davis, Greg Davis wouldn't fucking wear what you're wearing now. Are you mad? I don't think 90 % Greg Davis is going to wear that jacket. 90 % of people wouldn't wear what I'm wearing. I take a risk every day I walk out of the house. That's my extreme sport. Do you know, have you read this thing about like, not read this thing, but this thing about how, I thought we talked about it in one of the live shows, about how you would dress if you didn't have embarrassment.

21:54This. No, but what I mean by that is, like, Andre 3000, there was a line on one of his songs that was like, thank you for giving me some shy bones in my body. And then he goes on to say, because if he didn't have them, the way he would dress would be like so out there. And he already dresses quite out there, right? Yeah, yeah. But there's so many things, there's lots of things, like there's loads of things I'd wear if I wasn't to. Would you go like for, like a boiler suit? Yeah, but I think. Dungarees. Dungarees, I keep on having a hankering to wear a pair of car. Me too. You could wear a boiler suit.

22:28I can't wear a, I've never in my, when I used to work on site, right, you used to have some jobs, like if there was asbestos or something, you'd have to wear like boiler suits. Never got one that feared. It'd always be ankle swingers up my, like cutting my balls in too. Sort of like pulling my shoulders down. Yeah. It was like, but I think a boiler suit, I think on you. There's anybody out there that can make a boiler suit for somebody who's 6 '7 and hench? Yeah. Wolfhoulpod at gmail.com, please. I'd wear it on stage, actually, I think. Yeah, you should do. Dave Chappelle wore a boiler suit for this.

23:00Oh, man, yeah. Anyway, sorry, we've interrupted you. How long have we been talking about this one fucking story? Anyway, so I get rid of stuff. And then Catherine genuinely was like, she got in and she was like, number one. at first she was like oh yeah yeah how's how's the book going so and i'm like oh no i've done this and she was actually wow this is this is amazing this is incredible to get rid of all this stuff the stuff that i've been holding on for like we've been together 14 years i've been holding on for you know jackets too i had a big blue t-shirt that i wouldn't get rid of it's like it was probably a size 4xl yeah she was like you're never gonna hopefully be that big again but i was like it's just it's cozy to wear and she's only worn it for like six eight years i I was like, but you never know.

23:42And Big Blue's gone. He went to charity, actually. Right. I mean, a six-year-old blue T-shirt, you're not selling that on Vinted? That's mad. I imagine we're going to get flooded with emails and people go, fucking hell. Got my absolute mouth watering at the thought of that six-year-old blue T-shirt that Tom was talking about. 4XL. Or the next guard. Get it on Vinted. And the next guard pulled out. And my head used to be bigger like a mastiff. anyhow so she was very happy about the fact I was getting rid of all this stuff yeah you know we carted from house to house but then this week I've then gone oh actually I've cleared out so I sort of restocked and rebranded the Tom Davis look and brought some new bits have you changed your look no do you know what I had 12 pairs of skinny jeans and jeggings like I had a pair I don't know if I over wore them with you when we were out they had like rips and then it also had like on the knees that had like patches and they were black but they were I tried them on did you try them on this weekend?

24:43yeah yeah I tried them on I should have a picture so tight and like even and I've lost timber I've lost you know Nyon's five six stones since I wore those they were still tight but even my gut now was hanging over it I was like Christ what was I thinking and I'm built like an ostrich who's had a bear put on its top like I have ostrich legs and a bear's torso I was like this is it I looked like Johnny, it was the character, Johnny Bravo. Oh yeah. I was like, so I got rid of all the skinny jeans. They've gone to charity. It's amazing to me that the least flattering comparison you make is to notoriously hench Johnny Bravo.

25:22But they've gone to charity, so hopefully it's like an old rocker who's sort of six foot seven and wants to, yeah. So you got rid of all the jeans? Like loads of stuff that I'm like, I just won't wear anymore. And then you went and replaced it all. Not all of it. In one shopping spree. No, in a week of online buying. I have stuff now where I go, okay, that looks okay. There's a few places where I go, I look better in that stuff. And what did Catherine say when you... That was a bone of contention. She's like, you've just got rid of loads of stuff, why don't you bring more in? Yeah, why did you?