Pablo Escobart, Pigs and Massages

0:16Hello and welcome to The Wolf and Owl. Hi there, I'm The Owl and I'm The Wolf and this is an email bonanza.

0:25Romesh Ranganathan:What we like to do is get some of your emails from people that like the show and support the show and what we do. And we try and spread a little bit of cheer and advice. And look, we're not experts. Nobody's saying we're experts. But we'll do what we can to give you a little bit of advice. This episode is sponsored by Babybel. Premier cheese for fussy children. I know we're not sponsored by Babybel. Does Little G like Babybel? She loves them. Yeah, she does. I like them, to be fair. Yeah, in my pre-Veagues days, when I was a kid, I used to love just getting all the wax together. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:01Romesh Ranganathan:Big wax bogey. Yeah, well, yeah, I'm not. No, but you just sort of... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like... You know what it's nice if you wrap a burger around, mince around it, a burger? Around a Baby Bell? Yeah. Does it melt? Yeah. Baby Bells melt? Yeah, yeah. I didn't know that. Well, they're kind of softer. Okay, fine. So they don't melt. Yeah, there's plastic in there, so they don't melt. Yeah. Sorry, Baby Bell, about that. Obviously, he's fun trick, man. book us as well. Tom does think you're toxic. Okay. Let's have a look at question, email one. Would you like me to read it? I think you should read it, Romesh.

1:33Romesh Ranganathan:Hi, Wolf and Al. I was listening to your pod episode where you talk about the possibility of one day smashing a rack of ribs. Life goals. And then pondered French kissing Tom after he'd eaten some to get that meaty hit. Fucking hell. What do we talk about on this thing?

1:50Romesh Ranganathan:God. What? Imagine if this was the first time you're listening to this. So they talked about smashing a rack of ribs and then tongue kissing each other. There's been a lot of that. Can I say, by the way, I mean, I don't want to listen to it and we'll talk about it in the next one. The level of messages I'm getting now about having a homosexual awakening is insane. Some of the voice notes and some of the messages I'm getting is, I mean, I'm very, very complimented, but some are taking it to quite a bit. Well, a lot of men want to smash you, right? It's become quite extreme. Well, they want you to smash them.

2:24Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. There's actually been some video footage and pictures. Have you been sent dick pics? Yeah. And other sorts of pics, yeah. What do you mean, arsehole pics? Yeah. That one's from down looking up. Oh, my God, really? Yeah. Yeah, like... And do you apply? No. No, I'm like, yeah, I'm complimented, but I'm like... I'm like by the way I'm now staying out of that folder why because because you can't be sitting around the house with a hard on I can't be on the tube with one that's what I opened one the other day I was on the train I was like what's this yeah yeah well no because the actual capture went unlucky sad to see West Ham go down I'll tell you who else will go down no genuinely I opened a picture and it was a picture of a dick like basically this will put a smile on your face did it yeah yeah it was a decent looking date some of them are nicer than others aren't they yeah of course yeah anyway I mean if you're worried when I fucking hell where is Daredevil a minor don't miss the return of Marvel Television's Daredevil born again so what's next I've been liberated We're going to take this city back Over Medicaid In an all new season Now streaming only on Disney Plus They're hunting us It's time we started hunting them I can work with them This should be tons of fun Marvel Television's Daredevil Born Again Now streaming only on Disney Plus Okay I have a question related to this quandary I've posed the same question to lots of my vegan, veggie, omnivore friends What's an omnivore?

4:15Romesh Ranganathan:meat and you're an omnivore what does that mean you eat like meat and vegetables vegetables it don't happen to me that and I've yet to receive a definitive answer in fact it's kept me awake at night can a vegan morally suck off a meat eater to completion I don't think can I say by the way a French kiss feels like a bit different yeah my husband says absolutely you can but then he would say that wouldn't he and he threw for a blotzer and if one is on the what the fuck is going on? And if one is on the cards, he will agree to absolutely anything. Anyway, surely a meat eater's love juice would contain meat traces, wouldn't it?

4:54Romesh Ranganathan:But can I just say, the way you're phrasing this, it's absolutely dreadful. You can taste things like pineapple juice, chocolate and asparagus after all. Can you? I don't know, pineapple makes it sweeter, doesn't it? It did the last time I tried. Please can you put my question out there to your listeners and to yourselves. thanks for keeping me sane and making me smile while my husband is away he's going to blow the back of your head off when he comes back easy I just yeah I know he's just been deployed with the British Army overseas to do important man shit you truly are sweet sweet souls thank you for everything you do much love from the knackered Kodiak bear sorry what exactly oh yeah so can a vegan suck off a is jizz vegan I guess is the question I think it is, no.

5:43I mean, I think if you've got a highly carnivorous diet, then it's obviously in you, isn't it? You know what I mean?

5:51Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, I... I mean, look, so if you're a vegan, you can only suck off vegans. Is that the point? Well, I mean, I guess it's how disciplined you are. Because Lisa obviously eats meat. Yeah, and I suck her off all the time. What's your point?

6:13Romesh Ranganathan:that's what i mean um

6:19Romesh Ranganathan:i i okay this is actually quite an interesting weirdly i mean i don't the the road into it was pretty yeah it was a storm road yeah but i actually think i actually think it's an interesting point yeah the the issue that vegans have is that these these creatures have not consented to have their right so if you eat a pig yeah you know the pig has not consented to having its flesh being eaten etc etc but if there was some world in which a pig could like I know this sounds mad but if a pig said have my if a pig was able to go you can have my leg I'm only going to grow it back then I think that doesn't happen does it with pigs no I'm just saying you're asking me if a talking pig says no I'm just saying pigs don't grow their you know because some animals grow their bits back no no no no it doesn't happen Can I say, by the way, I reckon AI, within five years, will be able to talk to animals.

7:14Romesh Ranganathan:How? They're going to somehow work out a way that animals can converse. So you won't have a full conversation. It won't be like, hello, rubbish. How are you today, mate? It'll be like, he'll be able to converse whether he's happy or sad. You'll sort of get a thing of that. Because obviously, actually, pigs are really intelligent. Yeah, they are. Yeah. You could actually probably have a really good chat with a pig. Yeah, I think you could. I think you might end up having to chat with a pig and it walks away. But when the meat eaters eating it, I think they've done the damage. That's done then. The transaction is done.

7:56Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when the vegan fellates them, I don't think there's an issue. I think it's fine. I do. I don't think, yeah. I think otherwise vegans would have to stick to vegans. yeah otherwise how are we going to complete our experiment yeah wow that's what do you think i think exactly yeah yeah yeah i would say by the way that was that was quite a um a testing i i have not and by the way i know we talked about kissing and now i'm going to say something even worse what i'm intrigued in how what you eat affects the taste of your jizz but you can try that yourself i'm not gonna what am i doing eating something jizzing yeah give it a couple of hours Go through your body.

8:39Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I know that. I'm not going to wank as I'm eating pineapple. No, but yeah, I'm just saying that, yeah, you could do, you haven't got to enlist loads of people to do that with. No, no, I get that. You can do that yourself. But I think if you were doing that, can we just talk about the... Lisa, come and have a toast with this. Sweeter, sour. But you don't want to put it into a cup or something, then it's going to get cold, isn't it? it's not porridge i mean i think it's i do think it's best served warm would be my guess or at least body temperature yeah yeah anyway we've managed to make it more disgusting the initial email um thank you so much knackered kodiak bear yeah thank you yeah did you know about one in three people with plaque psoriasis may also develop psoriatic arthritis which causes is joint pain, stiffness, and swelling?

9:30Does this sound like you? Listen to what it sounds like to be a million miles away.

9:43Trimphia, Gucelcomab, taken by injection, is a prescription medicine for adults with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis, who may benefit from taking injections or pills or phototherapy, and for adults with active psoriatic arthritis. Serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or if you need a vaccine. Imagine being a million miles away. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Trimphia. Tap this ad to learn more about Trimphia, including important safety information.

10:24Turn it up. Storm has zero sugar and 200 milligrams of caffeine, so you can turn that workout up a notch. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life.

10:39Hi Wolf, Owl and Swan. I'm away on a family holiday to Rhodes this week and using my time wisely to catch up on episodes of The Wolf and Owl while I'm sitting by the pool. Enjoy those cocktails, friend. Imagine my surprise walking around Lindos, turning a corner and seeing Rom. I attached a photo so you can see what I mean. I'd be after an image right so far with you. All the best, the sea turtle. Okay.

11:03Romesh Ranganathan:I'm assuming this can be some logo with some guy with a beard and glasses. Let's have a look.

11:11Romesh Ranganathan:Pablo Escobar.

11:16It's quite a funny t-shirt.

11:18Romesh Ranganathan:Now, I've actually been sent this before. Really? so do you know when I had my hair longer yeah had just the tash I mean it literally you had that exact look that is it's not even a piss take that is exactly how I look no and it's also got that startled look that you do yeah that is that's I hope that person got that t-shirt we should get you that t-shirt to wear haven't we had enough fun with Banter Cannon 1 no that would be a sick t-shirt um that's nice by the way well thank you so much yeah that's lovely did you buy it I hope they brought a t-shirt if you did send us a picture of you wearing a t-shirt saying zany like down in a shot you send it because I don't have to look at it anymore jumping in the pool thank you so much for your email thank you that's lovely thank you really nice okay here's the next one hello wolf owl animal pack thanks for the advice around imposter syndrome back in episode 18 it really helped I've now slipped to the other end of the spectrum so this is a previous I've now slipped onto the other end of the spectrum burnout I raised$250 ,000 thousand pounds for local community improvements and been offered multiple roles outside my day job and i can never seem to switch off okay this email seems like a bit of a flex so far yeah but can i say what an incredible human being yes absolutely uh so the key question is how do you two relax i struggle to chill out without mary jane or crispy pint which clearly are unhealthy habits any tips would be greatly appreciated big love jlr by the way can i just have so much admiration for people who sign off from an email with their initials like that.

12:50It's what presidents do, isn't it?

12:53Romesh Ranganathan:Well, I think what's happened there is it starts with J and you've thought of JFK. And that's why you've said it. No, no. I don't think presidents... DJT does it, doesn't he? Yeah, Donald Trump. Donald Trump, didn't he sign something like he made his signature into a pair of boobies or something? Boobies? I can't remember if I said boobies. Jesus Christ! That is the... Didn't he make his signature into a pair of boobies? you might even do a pair of boobies mate anyway come on Alex come here see some boobies get some boobies fuck you know what Pavlov Escobar likes boobies why did I say boobies boobies boobies oh my god I tell you what merch wise we need the Pablo Escobar t-shirt

13:50fuck the Escobar t-shirt with a big grin on his face with boobies underneath

13:59shit anyway how do you relax I don't think I I don't think I relax enough I would say that as an actual constant I can't remember the last time I sat and didn't sit worrying or thinking or I wasn't you know I I went you know I went away okay for Catherine a little while ago and we had a nice really nice two days away yeah three days actually three days away and I did it was the first time I switched off late Como lovely I switched off and I managed to just spend that time with her chilling just being together um and actually that was that was you know just being with Catherine I was like this is nice I think when I'm with Grace, I tend, but then with just being, I don't know about you, we talked about this in the last episode, as a parent, I don't think you ever, you can't switch off.

14:51You're constantly, there's an air of tension in you because you're so worried. The anxiety and fear is in you. So, I will actually, do you know one thing, actually? And I was very, I took the mick out of you a little bit about the meditation. I took your advice and started doing meditation before bed. it's it's changed that and some lavender on my feet beautiful has completely changed the game great I had a holistic massage the other day by one of the most fine men I've ever met in my life he was incredible he was an upstanding young man 31 really incredible guy how do you know his age? because I chatted to him I went I went in there and I was like listen man I'm I'm shattered I'm I might just end up falling asleep he was like he was like bro you just do what you gotta do and I'm like cool okay I lay there I lay face down he starts going to work and I went oh you got a gift you got a gift and I was like this sounds really horrible not as horrible as boobies but so I was like so we start chatting and he said like he was such an incredible human being taught for the whole massage an hour by the way he was like the amount of stress you're carrying on your right shoulder he said that's where we pack all our stress in his right shoulder.

16:11He did so much work on it. Just walked away going, thank you very much.

16:15Romesh Ranganathan:There you go. Yeah. I felt chilled then. I think I have managed to... You chill out looking at boobies, right? Why's dad got to make... Yeah, he's just chilling out, son. Lisa, I can't get to sleep. You know what I need to see. um i actually think part of the problem is is not uh compartmentalizing your day so i think one of the things that people make the mistake of doing is first thing in the morning start they like look on instagram or yeah start thinking about work or whatever straight away actually you know i've started doing i know this sounds a bit like wanky new age or whatever but wake get up i mean first of all one of the things i started doing is exercising or getting outside as soon as i wake up pretty much but before that sitting on your bed a couple of deep breaths before you start looking at anything this isn't my thing by the way someone was telling me about the thing of like you've got to take those breaths a lot of heart attacks of course but just getting up and getting on with it yeah yeah taking a moment just like a little bit of like not engaging with what your day is straight away and just having a bit of that helps and at the end of the day just um having a bit like actually you get i think it's helpful to go at this point of the day i'm not going to be thinking about work anymore yeah right that that is done and then you just you go i'm gonna you know you can work as hard as you want during the day and at this point you're no longer thinking about it and then you spend the last hour or so or two hours or whatever doing like watching tv or reading or whatever not scrolling yeah and actually getting yourself into uh just chilling out and i i think people i do feel like we're guilty of feeling like we have to be doing something every minute of every day and i and like look you know there's this whole fucking uh jake humphrey kind of school of like you've got what the guy used to do football sort of yeah that guy have you said you follow him on instagram yeah i do yeah but yeah by the way can i say denzel washington said it said it better just reposted denzel washington quote but he's like it's the whole culture of like going you've got to come up with a vision board for your day you've got to achieve all these things and then you've got to like fucking like you know doing all this shit every moment of every day i think we just need to let go of that shit i mean do what you got to do do your job it's amazing what you've done and then stop and actually you should make your next development area being able to do nothing or do read or something else because it's not it's not a healthy thing to be thinking about that shit or analyzing whether you're making the most of your time every minute of every day.

18:51Romesh Ranganathan:It's so boring. It's shit. What does Jay Comfrey do now apart from those Instagram videos? High performance. Yeah, high performance podcast. Have you done that podcast? No. No. I think they only invite high performers. Yeah. Me and you are in the podcast. So two people have got lucky on a blag. I don't think he's going to want that podcast. No, no. Maybe we should do a low performance podcast. I wouldn't mind that. Accidental performance? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for email. Good luck. honestly sorry before you get into this this boobies thing man i'm not it's a runner it's a runner i've looked at john i already we already know there's going to be boobies t-shirts uh have we got time for one more yeah okay the boobies t-shirts for the summer summer summertime time to look but boobies and unwind what sorry i'm just reading the that is very funny by the way but i'm just reading the beginning of this next email What the fuck is going on with this episode?

19:44Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay, do you want to read it? Yeah. This is... Hi, Rom and Tom. I was listening to your recent episode about the wolf wanking off a stranger in a pub tour and felt it was pertinent to email in. I'm a man in my late 30s. I've recently become more emotionally familiar with the idea that I may be bisexual, finding guys more attractive as time goes on. I've never knowingly repressed any of these feelings, only that these feelings have arisen later on in life. I've talked to some of my close mates, all who think it's a great idea, and say give it a go. Although I'm getting closer to a possible sexual encounter with a man, I find myself terrified at the thought of regretting it, possibly due to nearly four decades of social conditioning, or worse still, backing out of it and making them feel rejected or awkward.

20:31I've been a prolific shagger over the years, and I'm concerned. Maybe I feel this way just because I want to try something different, like if I'd been an MMA world champ and now I'm moving into boxing for more of a challenge. We all saw how that went for Francis Ngannou when he fought Tyson Fury.

20:48Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, if you'd give me a million guesses about where this was going to go. Can I say, Francis Ngannou had an incredible fight against Tyson Fury. And I would fuck Francis Ngannou in a heartbeat, by the way. Anyway, go on. I'd love to hear your thoughts around this. The baffled bear. Peter, well, the bear was the name. So, Pierce, you're both an inspiration for how you openly talk about your self-doubt and mental health. Big up yourself, big boys. Wow. Can I say that we've been doing this podcast for six years. The Pandora's box we've opened with this stuff is, yeah. Right. You know what? I think you should go and do it.

21:28I think you go and do it. I think you feel like you're open-minded and you want to try new things. And I think you'll live to regret if you don't. Sure, yeah. I mean, you're still thinking about the boobies thing, aren't you?

21:40Romesh Ranganathan:No, I'm just wondering, like, when he started saying, as I'm getting close to a sexual encounter, I started thinking about that must be incredibly nerve-wracking. Like, you think about if you've only been with the opposite sex your whole life. Also, it's like your first ever kiss, right? How terrible, or first time you made love. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I remember it like it was just before Theo was conceived.

22:06I think it's yeah I think there's an element of all can I say because I think that the element of men in this situation rather than women is quite awkward women are a lot more certainly when I was growing up women were like I had girl mates who would tell me I went oh last night yeah they messed around kissing me I mean I'm pretty sure

22:23Romesh Ranganathan:Lisa's fucking snogging a woman right now as we speak that's when I saw her in in the curtain in the cursen she was very much yeah um i wonder if i would think about like maybe someone you know quite well i think someone you know quite well who's also feeling the same way maybe i don't think so why because if one of you's into it more than the other one no you just go this is just an evening experimentation no no no no no i think that's an awful idea like maybe after they've done a podcast record or something i see what you're getting there no no i'm being serious you don't think that's a good idea no no why I think it puts an air of late years.

23:00Romesh Ranganathan:Sure. Okay, so what's your suggestion? I think you meet someone either online or you go to a bar and you're quite open about who you are. Well, that was the other thing I was going to say, just be honest. Yeah, I've never done this before. I'm quite nervous. And just be completely honest with the whole thing. Very much like from what I remember of the... Our role play. Yeah, the role play. Jumping in on that vibe. I think earnesty is everything. you know and it might just be sort of a gentle bit of pashing out or or just you know you might go the whole way you know don't put any labels or limits or and you know just be like yeah this is what it is and just go with it but whatever you do play safe yeah be safe be safe uh durex or any other condom yeah okay um yeah johnny's we should actually have wolf and our condoms hey why don't you grab yourself a war for now Johnny before you dive into a situation you might not be ready for do you think this conflicts with the baby bell sponsorship yeah maybe yeah okay well that is all we've got time for on this particularly lurid episode this probably has come with an age yeah yeah thank you so much for listening to all the wanking and the boobies and the boobies thing is genius hey friends by the way thank you Thank you so much for sending in your emails and subscribing.

24:24You can send any of your email comments into.