Partner Advice, Phrogging And The Importance Of A Good Curry

0:25Today's episode is sponsored by Friendship. really nice should we get into the questions Tom Dom let's do it do you want to go first or do you want me to it's up to you shall I run this one on yeah go on shall I run this one on yeah go for it dear Wolf and Al take your time take your time slower no I'm just saying just relax into it dear Wolf and Al I just wanted to start off by saying thank you for your amazing podcast I started listening earlier this year when I went on maternity leave thank you for keeping me company during the otherwise lonely nights I wanted your advice on how I can show some appreciation to my husband.

1:04He truly is the best husband and father we could ask for. He works very long shifts, including night shifts. But despite this, he always prioritises his family. He tries to make sure I have time to myself every day and is so respectful and grateful for the days that I spend at home looking after the baby. We don't have any family nearby, so we are the only support system for each other and I think this experience has brought out the best in each other and made us a stronger team. I really want to show my appreciation for him but the problem is that the best way is physical touch and bedroom antics which is understandably on pause at the moment.

1:45I find it uncomfortable to get up too much when our little baby is in the same room. Do you have any advice on how I can show my appreciation while this preferred method is slightly out of bounds. Thank you very much. The Grateful Robin. Very tough when you've got a bar bar in the house, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very, very difficult. I would say as well, I personally think the idea that that is the way of showing your appreciation isn't necessarily... No. I think that, by the sounds of this chap, I don't think that he'd be expecting that to be the way he's... Bearing in mind that he sounds like an absolute legend.

2:24I mean, he sounds like an incredible human being. We don't really like emails in about really great partners. Really, really lovely guys. Because it makes us look terrible. I would say, I think just saying to someone. I think in relationships, you can go for a long time in your relationship assuming that someone knows you're grateful, assuming that they know that you're grateful of how much they're doing for you. And you just kind of, assumptions are made. You've been together a long time. and you're going, I think, you know, the first few months, years of having a little one are quite demanding on your relationship, quite demanding on you as people individually.

3:02But I actually think you can almost get lost a little bit in just actually showing your gratitude for each other. And I think it's also worth saying that as much as you feel that you want to show him appreciation for everything he's doing, he probably feels the same on the basis that you're doing a lot. And I think it's worth saying you are doing an incredible job as well as a mother and someone who's at home. I think sometimes I think that's the hardest thing that can get lost a little bit in the basis that you can sometimes feel your appreciation. You're like, oh, wow, I'm so blessed that he's doing all this stuff for me.

3:41You can lose actually sight of quite how incredible you are as a human being. So I don't think you should lose that upon yourself. and I think it's actually just spending a little bit of time talking together and talking about how you feel. I think when you've got a baby in the house, I think that side of your relationship can take a bit of a knock. I think that's just natural. But I think also just having enough weather to go, okay, this is just a different stage in our relationship at the moment where that isn't on the cards, then actually just emotively be there for each other and be there just to talk about those things.

4:22And actually, I certainly noticed it with me and Catherine. I think that another stage of our relationship has grown since having Grace, that we try to converse, we try to tell each other, we try to sort of celebrate our appreciation for each other. I think that's just something that's worth thinking about. And like I say, recognising yourself for doing an incredible job as a mother. Round of applause. Keep doing what you're doing. I think when you've got a young baby, thinking about how you're going to show your partner appreciation is not on the cards right now. I think you've got your hands full enough as it is.

5:00And you've both had a child, so you both deserve appreciation. Do you know what I mean? You're doing something really, really difficult. It's really hard. You're living from hour to hour. It's really, really difficult. So I wouldn't worry about that for now. I think what Tom said is right. I think you show gratitude and you make sure you're kind to each other through what is a really challenging time. and then you can both figure out a way to sort of show each other appreciation when you're in a place where you can do that, do you know what I mean, which will be in 18 to 20 years. No, just kidding.

5:30It gets easier before that. What, seven, eight? Yeah. Look, it's magical. But, yeah, I wouldn't worry about that for now. I think that it's great that you two are in such a great place in what is, you know, it's really difficult having a kid. but I don't think you you haven't got the you ain't got the headspace or the energy to be thinking about how to show that's not what this is about you're trying to you know figure your way through this as new parents so I think you just need to focus on that and then you know and just be kind to each other in your words and stuff like that and he will know that you're appreciative so don't worry too much about that or just make him like a really good curry okay I've not had a good curry for a while.

6:18I haven't either. Do you know what I mean? Like, I mean, a knockout one. Yeah. Yeah. My neighbour's wife's away on holiday at the moment. She usually makes us the best curries. It's quite difficult. I've got addicted to her curries, but it's not a restaurant. So I can't go there whenever I want. You can't make requests. Yeah, it's a lottery. Also, she sometimes cooks amazing curries, then sometimes she'll try something a little bit new. And I'm like, stick to the classics, Yuri.

6:48he's such an amazing guy he's one of my favorite human beings this guy he's but he'll come around and he'll say oh yeah this yeah we've got this and I'm like oh this is yeah this is yeah if you're coming around is there is there a menu option but some Moses are incredible we've not had them for what's the best place to go for a car is there like some top-notch yeah well everyone I speak to tells me that it's the places you that look like you wouldn't go in them yeah like where I live near nearby there's like two big areas and they're like if you go there don't go to anywhere that looks like you would go oh that's really nice we're gonna go in there look for a place that doesn't look nice and go that'll be an amazing guy mmm okay we should go for a curry scene I'd love to sorry I've gone off the point oh by the way he's a great curry guys go for a curry with Jeff Norcott why do you say that I just think he's a nice guy yeah he's a nice guy to go for he brings a nice curry energy to well we went to Bombay Bossa with him don't we yeah it was lovely it was great it's really Norcott's got a really good, he just brings a nice, yeah.

7:46The reason I hesitate is the last time I went for curry with him, no, it wasn't the last time, a few times ago. Yeah. He had a bit of a shocker recommendation and he felt really bad about it. Oh, really? Quite a while afterwards, yeah. But, you know. He, by the way, although you, because he's someone you could imagine, isn't going to carry that, but he does. He's a very sensitive soul, Jeff. He is very sensitive. I love that about him. Yeah. I adore Jeff Norcott. Okay. I'm just saying. Actually, we should have a curry boys night. Yeah. Jeff Norcott, Josh Widdicombe, Rob Beckett, you, me. Yeah.

8:16Catherine Ryan. Catherine Ryan would be great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great night out. It's a really good night out. Yeah. Do you know who else would be great for that? Machine Connery. Yeah, great. All right. Why don't we just invite the industry? No, not the industry. No, but I'm just saying. There's people who might pull up to that curry that will see me have the Popatons and go home. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist.

8:51The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. Sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands you need. From athletic stuff, like a full-court pickup game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff, like a half-mile stroll. Get those steps in! And for morning hikes up the mountain trail, good pace, to nighttime ghost stories from the camping chair. What a twist! Whatever level of active, Sierra loves it all. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all.

9:34From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the mic of emails. Mr. Ramesh, Rangani. Turn me up on my headphones. One, two, one, two. One, two, one, two. That might be my favourite thing you've ever done.

9:54Would you rather find 10 ,000 cockroaches in your loft or one human? Love the podcast. Look forward to hearing your thoughts.

10:0510 ,000 live cockroaches. That is number one, 10 ,000 cockroaches. Cockroaches are really hard to get rid of. Horrible. Survive a nuclear apocalypse. So hold on, it's not a dead human, is it? It's just one human. Yeah, one human. Without a doubt, one human. If you found out tonight there's a person in your loft, how would you react? Number one, I'm imagining if he's hiding in my loft, he's going to have a hell of a story. They are going to have an amazing story, right? if we you know I mean obviously last episode we had the poo question so there's an element I'll go out there with a handful of feces we probably have a handful of feces themselves you've got no idea how they've come to find themselves in your loft yeah but are you going to turn up there with a fist full of shit no right I think 10 ,000 cockroaches cockroaches are impossible to get rid of yeah right you've got a hive then you've probably got four hives of cockroaches one human we're just we're just taking upon ourselves think that's a really nasty mean human I could just be some I've not said that you've said you're going up with a load of shit no I'm just saying yeah that was by the way I think of the two of you they're gonna have more shit in the loft yeah yeah well it depends how long they've been there or they're coming down in the night when you love got in the bed and using it well like Toy Story yeah but they're just living in there do you ever watch that bit there's a YouTube it isn't there about this in Japanese apartment and the people living in the crawl space really and then they leave the camera and then they pop out there a little great and then come and help themselves to food Jesus don't think so it's cool at all that's quite cool thing to sort of say the first oh my god what there's like a horror film when I watch the video I mean I don't even know if they're real but they look pretty well so someone yeah I don't think isn't I think one person living in your loft and then you just got a time would you say to him work and run it if you want okay Who am I, the loft person?

11:56I'll be the loft guy. Of course you will. Why?

12:05Hello?

12:09Hello? Oh, no, you found me. My name's Trevor Lancelot. I've been living in... I've been living up here in your loft for the last four years since you moved in. Um, what are you doing? I'm afraid I'm going to have to call the police. Don't, please! Please, I implore you not to call them before you've heard my story. Okay. Stay back, stay back. I will stay back. My lips are parched and dry. I haven't had a cup of tea since last eve. I'm not going to make you a cup of tea when you're living in my loft. Usually I wait till you're asleep and I can hear you slumbering and you've got your this is appalling by the way you've got your teeth what you've done is appalling you don't know my circumstance now you don't know my life what's your story I know more about you than living in my fucking loft I've seen you I've seen you angry I've seen you sad I've seen you happy I've seen you sensual okay we can listen we can all named dwarves can you can you please tell me what the fuck it is you're doing in my loft i split up with my wife lc lancelot okay and where did she live in she lives she lives three roads away okay i we had a blazing row and i stormed out uh and i said you'll never see me again and then it started raining uh i had to find somewhere to keep dry and this place, oh, God, I didn't know what to make of it.

13:48It was just before you moved in, it was just a shell almost. So I came up here, and I was living in the shell itself, and when it had different bits of the house, I slept in the beds. You've slept in the beds? Yes. Well, before you moved in, you know, I just had almost to test them, and that delicious bed, you're a lucky man. And then when all the family started moving, I just got higher and higher in the house until I was in the loft. And I made this my home. I've worn all of your old clothes. Why didn't you leave? Because I couldn't. I became addicted to this house. But we're out. It aches and groans.

14:27I love it here. It's become my home. What have you been eating? I come down when you're asleep and make myself sandwiches and crisps. You'll say you've been stealing for four years from me? Only a little bit. I'm also lucky enough. I'm like you. I'm a vegan. so that's where you're where's the luck coming with that well I don't need any of the boys food they're growing lads Theo's doing so well don't talk about my children Charlie has a voice like a cherub he sings a fine rummish they're a credit to you boy okay I think it wouldn't get that far okay he's quite a sweet fella I don't think so when you said you waited to hear my story the story is I decided to live in your loft like a justification would be you had something horrendous there's a last resort but you got had an argument with your wife and they've been living in the loft for four years yeah but he was quite nice though i thought i'm quite civil what i'm saying that you can't you can't just judge everyone who's living in lofts by the same token this guy sounds quite sweet actually he you've got more from him in a way than he's got from you in a sense in what way what have i got from him well He's got this way of looking.

15:39If it was a film, you'd go, right, you, you bloody get out. I don't want to talk about this where you get out and then he goes and then the kids go, Dad, why did you send him away? I actually miss him. Do you know, every now and again, he used to just knock a little rhythm into the ceiling and it would help me go to sleep at night. Yeah, exactly, see? Yeah, well, that shit, yeah. So I'm just saying, otherwise, it's fucking 10 ,000 cockroaches. They take over your house. You can't fuck with cockroaches. No. one human is easy yeah and actually to be fair if it's a real scary human they're just gonna get bored anyway and probably go away go away would you mean go away just leave your loft yeah where's cockroaches they're staying aren't they yeah cockroaches wouldn't say once they're in cockroaches are in yeah so yeah I'd say the human you I wasn't convinced but now I think human yeah yeah just imagine opening the loft door and seeing 10 ,000 cockroaches yeah I mean I come at you man and then by the way they come out of your loft that's a horror movie they take over the whole house ten thousand of them don't worry about the odd sandwich of the person living in yet they're eating everything computer games like beds they don't care there's no everything everything cockroaches eat computer games I'm just like plastic at daily anything flowers is that true yeah so we're going body yeah okay human like a body by the way Like a fit human body.

17:05Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride This summer, find more on Facebook From athletic stuff like a full court pickup game Swish! To athletic stuff like a half mile stroll Get those steps in! Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want At the prices that let you do it all From athletic to athletic, Sierra's got it

17:56Hi Tom and Ron My partner and I love everything you both do And the pod is excellent Anyway, I'm after some advice. My partner and I have been together for two years. I've known each other since teenagers. We would bump into each other, but nothing ever happened as he was my brother's mate, and that would have been just weird. I was young, but fancied him at the age of 15, and he was 18. And I didn't ever think he'd be interested in me. We've moved on, but we've randomly now and again see each other. Again, nothing ever happened until two years ago at my brother's wedding. he was seeing someone who wasn't there and i was married husband wasn't there when he walked in i saw him and bounced over to him 33 years later i still feel like an excited teenager we got talking and instantly knew i wanted him again we started seeing each other i got divorced moved back home to be with him and we've never looked back i'm about to move in with him and finally be where I want to be in my life.

18:54Now, I also said to myself, I'd only ever marry Matt once, but with him it's different. I want to be his wife and live out our days together. My question is, what's your opinion on the woman proposing to the man? He'll kill me as I know he'll be watching this on YouTube and possibly I'll be sat with him. Also, you're invited to the wedding. Yes, if this does a drink. We won't be coming. Lots of love, S. Oh, no, that is a story for the ages. That's a beautiful love story. Yes, it is a beautiful love story. That's actually a proper invite to a wedding. Yeah, but we're not coming. And you know what?

19:31We could do that song from Princess Bride. Oh, my love, I'll tell you a tale Of a boy and girl and their love story That would be amazing, right? No. And then you come out and do a little rap to it. Yo, love is really cool. Yo, yo, yo. Look who's having themselves a little wedding.

19:58My name's Ramesh and I'm here to say Congratulations on your special day Oh my love I'll tell you a tale I'll tell you a tale A boy and girl A dear love story A dear love story Love story could be cute How he loved her love so much So much When she slicked in her eyes She became obsessed Obsessed Oh mate I actually feel so buoyed by this what a beautiful tell listen I'm going to say now I think I don't think there should be a stigma around it no who gives a shit I think there's actually something pretty amazing about you turning around and saying yo yo let's get this on yo do you know what I'd do is actually do it like that I think that would be amazing if I was going to propose again to Catherine I would literally get on one day and go yo let's get this on

20:54what was the sound that was the ring coming out oh I see because it sounded a lot like Spiderman which was Spiderman just the ring hanging to a lank bit of fucking party string I think it's a beautiful thing yeah I don't think it matters who proposes I don't think it matters there's classicists out there but I really don't think it matters but I think it's I genuinely think actually you're doing it so So what do you say to him directly? He might be watching now. So, I mean, look, if he knows that this is him, which he might, I mean, it's a pretty specific story, isn't it? Let's say it together at the same time.

21:32What we want to know is... Are you ready to do this? Are you prepared to go the whole hog? But now we're proposing. Will you... Oh, my love. Please. Please. Do us the honour. A boy and girl. Of marrying. And never story. What do you say? I'm really thinking of doing a cover in that song. Yeah, I feel like you've got it in the locker somewhere. Yeah, I'm obsessed with that tune. Yeah, so good luck. Yeah, I mean, look, do you know what? This goes the right way. We go in, we go, like, would you be up for it? To go to the wedding? Yeah. No. Why? These two have been through a journey with us. Sure, but I don't think we should go.

22:17What if we can DJ at it? No. Even worse.

22:24Just tell me off the top of your head, like say we're at the wedding. Yeah. We start our DJ set. First song. First song we're going to do? Yeah. Oh my love. No, no, you've got to get something to get the dance floor going. Yeah. Yeah, but that's where you'll come in. I'll be Mr. Ballard's later on. You'll be up there and you could be like in like a, I don't know, like a track suit looking like a wedding. Yeah, one of those wedding t-shirts. Oh, the tuxedo t-shirts. I've seen their T-shirts, yeah. Cool pair of trousers, probably some trainers. And you'll do it like everyone's pumping. And then I come on and knock some ballots out in the evening.

22:59We do like a little crossover. Nice. Yeah, and then we'll probably have a couple of drinks. Slice of wedding cake each. They'll probably do a vegan one if you say you're coming. That would be terrible if there was a bit of cake for you, like a vegan cake. Anyway, we're not coming. But can I say, well, I know you so well now, right? I do know you well enough to know that there's a little bit in you there was kind of excited about that as an evening no i don't think it'd be good for them i don't think it'd be good for us i think it would be great for everyone involved i think it's a real positive okay well look if you guys if if while we've been doing this talk bit you've realized that it's each other and now you've agreed to get married tom is coming i sadly will not be coming to you can i say send a picture of you wherever you are watching this together yeah if you then get engaged send a picture of you smiling beaming yeah yeah and winning invite please because Tom's coming yeah thank you so much for listening and watching to another episode of Wolf and Owl please could you like and subscribe if you haven't done if you're watching this and you've not liked and subscribed we're pissed off with you yeah no but seriously like subscribe and become a part of the tribe send your emails to wolfowlpod.gmo.com we love hearing from you and we're desperate for content thank you All right, fine.

24:18Do you know what? Do you know what, Tom? I'll come to the wedding. All right? Yeah! All right. See you there. Take care.

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