In short
The Wolf and Owl podcast episode mixes banter about guns and the “Purge” premise (everything legal for one night), then pivots into a long discussion of tattoo addiction and getting new ink. Key claims include: guns feel “fun” and create a sense of power; people’s views on violence are shaped by what society normalizes; if murder weren’t illegal, society would become “The Purge” constantly; and tattoos become addictive once you notice blank space.
Notable examples
Tom Davis recounts filming in America/Bulgaria and seeing hotel signs “no guns” while armed men wore shoulder holsters; he also describes being bullied after “snitching.” The hosts roleplay a “Purge” scenario where Josh Widdicombe tries to kill Ross Kemp, involving “tummy sticks” and a knife.
Guests
Ross Kemp (actor, discussed as a football-obsessed, angry-at-home type in the Purge bit), Josh Widdicombe (comedian; “killed Ross Kemp” in the Purge roleplay), plus Tom Davis and Romesh Ranganathan (hosts/regulars referenced throughout).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOThe Awkward 'One in the Clip' Moment
0:26 to 1:42
Tom and Romesh discuss an awkward phrase Tom used, exploring its meaning and context.
“Hello and welcome to the Wolf and Owl podcast.”
Guns and Personal Experiences
1:42 to 5:10
Romesh shares his experience firing guns in America and the cultural differences around gun ownership.
“Like, you know, he's outside Gamma Sector 7 and his laser cannon is charged up or whatever.”
Gun Culture and Hotel Encounters
5:10 to 8:01
Romesh recounts a humorous yet unsettling experience with gun owners in a hotel in Bulgaria.
“I cannot, I can't believe, I mean, I can believe, but I can't believe that Americans, you know, the NRA and all of that, they think the solution to stopping people who've got guns is more guns.”
The Paradox of Gun Laws
8:01 to 9:58
The hosts debate the logic behind gun laws and societal perceptions of firearms.
“It was like, yeah, a free-for-all with guns.”
Imagining a Lawless Society
9:58 to 11:00
The hosts consider what actions they might take if laws no longer existed, reflecting on morality and society.
“I mean, I don't, why have I said this on the podcast?”
The Purge Concept and Comedy
11:00 to 14:00
Discussion about the concept of 'The Purge' and its implications, laced with humor and hypothetical scenarios.
“First of all, what a horrible way to phrase it.”
The Purge and Celebrity Antics
14:00 to 18:12
A comedic exploration of the concept of the purge with references to famous personalities.
“Yeah, I mean, obviously, if you're talking about that, I thought you meant like, what crime would I like to commit?”
Imaginary Showdown with Ross Kemp
18:12 to 22:20
A humorous role-play scenario involving a mock fight between Josh Widdicombe and Ross Kemp.
“Well, as you well know, Ross, it's the night of the purge.”
The Nature of the Purge
22:20 to 24:00
Discussion on the implications and logistics of the purge night.
“If he gets really into the game of tummy sticks, right, he then, Josh can just reach for the knife.”
The Purge's Aftermath
24:00 to 26:59
Humorous speculations on the aftermath of the purge and its social implications.
“Those three are all showing off, bragging.”
Show all 18 chapters
Tattoo Addiction Confessions
26:59 to 28:01
A candid conversation about tattoo addiction and personal anecdotes related to it.
“Well, it all started, the inception of this, the origin story, was you saying one in the clear.”
Tattoo Journey Begins
28:01 to 29:22
Learn about the initial motivations and experiences of getting tattoos.
“I'm not getting any more done before holiday.”
The Addictive Nature of Tattoos
29:23 to 31:20
Explore the psychological effects and addictive qualities of tattooing.
“If I'm honest with you, I looked at, I was like, actually I kind of think they look quite sick actually once you get them.”
Tattoo Discussions with Loved Ones
31:21 to 33:28
Hear about the opinions of friends and family regarding tattoos.
“And I was like, where are you going to get it?”
Pain and Process of Getting Tattoos
33:29 to 37:18
Understand the physical pain involved and the artistic process behind tattoos.
“And then I was out with my mates once and that was quite an early one.”
Designing Meaningful Tattoos
37:19 to 40:14
Discover the significance of tattoo designs and personal stories behind them.
“I'm having them, now I'm thinking how long will that take to have, I want Billy Connolly and Bernie Mac down in my calf.”
The Importance of Trying New Things
40:15 to 42:00
Reflect on the value of stepping out of comfort zones and trying new experiences.
“Once you've found the first perfect thing in a cheese what's it, you don't need to look any further.”
The Quest for New Flavors
42:00 to 43:10
Explore the story of trying new things outside your comfort zone.
“No, no, no, I've always been with Watsits.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Okay, let's go. Okay, let's go. One in a clip.
0:07You're a cold in there. Oh God.
0:26Romesh Ranganathan:Hello and welcome to the Wolf and Owl podcast. Tom Davis, you just said one in the clip.
0:38that might be the most cringy thing i've ever done i don't think it is but it is pretty cringy yeah it's up there i would say i would say top 15. i think top five yeah i feel sick i've come into this feeling a little bit nauseous with that feeling i didn't before i felt really really buoyant yeah when you arrived you're full of beans yeah yeah yeah that's that's i've never said that in my life either one in the clip do you even know what the yeah i know what it
1:04Romesh Ranganathan:means yeah yeah as in like it's a gun reference yeah yeah yeah yeah so what about this made you think one in the clip oh and like even if you wanted to do gun reference how have we got one in the clip we've got two in the clip haven't we i mean this is the first bullet of the podcast being fired i guess so this is the one in the yeah oh my god i know that people that does feel like the sort of thing you'd do more than me i don't think so i i would love you to not drag me down with you on this I think that um even the most ardent fan of this podcast yeah would not describe anything that we're doing as like it's a bullet coming out of a gun also that would be one in the chamber right yeah I think it's I think I think this podcast dribbles out if I if I was to do an analogy one in the cliff is just such a oh I'll be like one I actually think I'm going to have to get some kind of i don't know where that came from like i think it came from like i guess a hip-hop record you've been listening to but i was listening to bruce springsteen though he never says one in the no no famously that's one that's one of the things that people love about him is he never says one in the clip oh man that's do you know that's almost i don't know if that's like a form of tourette's that's happened there but i've never said that in my life no not even like it's an acting role where I've gone one in the clip well now that you've done that I can see why it's not come up in your work but um wouldn't it be great to get a role where you got to say something cool no I don't think it would because I think people don't realize or I said sorry I shouldn't be speaking for everybody I don't realize how difficult when you're watching a film yeah and it's sort of uh high concept yeah well there's like a sci-fi element or anything like that or or anything that's really removed from reality, the ability to deliver dialogue that in real life wouldn't make any sense.
2:56Romesh Ranganathan:Like, you know, he's outside Gamma Sector 7 and his laser cannon is charged up or whatever. You've got to say that with some fucking gravitas. By the way, you started off, the second half of that line is terrible. Well, I'm not, I'm fucking... He's outside, what was it? He's outside Gamma Sector 7 or something. He's outside Gamma Sector 7. His laser charger is fully charged up. Yeah. Well, sorry I couldn't off-the-cuff write a fucking sci-fi film to your satisfaction. By the way, I think I'm pretty much strapped on a bulletproof vest after you've said one in the clip. I can say whatever I want at this stage.
3:31Romesh Ranganathan:I'm fucking made. Oh, man. I nearly said made in the shade, and I thought that would have undermined my whole fucking position. One in a clip is the sort of thing Statham could say without he could say. I don't I don't really understand guns have you ever held a gun yeah yeah I was doing oh by the way the way you said yeah yeah yeah it was horrific what do you mean have you ever held a gun yeah yeah oh yeah welcome to the brother you know you got to defend your property no I went out I did Asian provocateur series 2 which by the standards of the first series was what we could describe was a flop.
4:15Romesh Ranganathan:But anyway, I went out to America and I shot some guns with some like guys that were super into it. Yeah, I mean, if you've got a gun, you have to be into it. There's no half measures. Well, I don't think it's anyone who's just got a gun. No, but it's slightly, no, some people do. Some people are not into guns. In America, I would say, some people are just like, keep one somewhere in case we get a home invasion or something like that. But these guys were into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, in the morning we did guns in the afternoon we did monster trucks to give you an insight into these guys.
4:45Romesh Ranganathan:That's a lot of manly stuff. They had AR-15s. Fuck. Yeah. And then they had one of the kids they had like a little kid as well who's using a catapult and a bow and arrow I can't remember. Anyway. A Huckleberry thing. When you hold a gun and fire it undoubtedly it is actually fun. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's part of the issue. Yeah. You know. Yeah. I mean that's part of the problem. Yeah. that you can feel quite, yeah. Yeah. And you feel powerful, right? I cannot, I can't believe, I mean, I can believe, but I can't believe that Americans, you know, the NRA and all of that, they think the solution to stopping people who've got guns is more guns.
5:29Romesh Ranganathan:You know, like when you hear about a shooting and they go, if only the teachers were armed, that would have brought that to a swift end. I was in Bulgaria. It's insane. A couple of years ago filming and in the hotel we stayed in, there was a lot of sort of quite important Russian guys there. Aren't they all? Everyone had, a lot of them were just walking around, shoulder holsters, guns, you know. Yeah. And then there was signs in this hotel, in the lobby, no guns. Yeah. And one day I was sort of having lunch, I was looking around at all these guys with guns, so I went up to the sort of guy at reception and said, you've got a lot of signs up saying no guns, but everyone here has guns.
6:06anyway I don't know how I don't know how keen I'd be to be a snitch on the guys with guns well the guys the guys around to me said the trouble with people with guns it's very hard to get them to take away the guns if you don't have a gun yeah yeah I mean a guy that's carrying around a gun yes not thinking on
6:27Romesh Ranganathan:bloody others are there somebody might give me a stern word yeah no but why have the signs up then because because yeah but because otherwise then somebody like then they think guns are allowed they got there was a couple of these guys who really took a dislike to me not because of the snitching I was in the gym one day and they came in and threw my towel on the floor and then every machine I go to they sort of follow me around and sort of like be sort of staring so they bullying yeah yeah and then sort of I'd see them around the hotel and they still be laughing and pointing at me and stuff they were just i think they might have known you were snitch no i don't think they'd have taken me out to the desert if they'd known i was a snitch they were terrifying yeah you know when you look at people and you're like oh man you guys i don't want yeah it doesn't happen to me but i could imagine yeah well yeah i mean you're tougher than i am you you've got that sort of you know you know you just stood up to them can't think of the last time i looked at somebody who thought i'm scared of you i was terrified of these guys they threw my talent that was it by the way that was a joke i don't want anybody no i wanted to carry it on they'd throw my towel I did it like three or four times and I just would pick it up and just sort of move off to another machine and I could see them just staring and I was like they were waiting for you to react I guess yeah did they have guns in the gym no no no I don't find because we had this in some place we went to in America where they've got no guns there's like a sign saying no guns I find that the opposite of reassuring if you've got a sign that says no guns and nobody's obeying it just take the sign down.
8:00Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, that's what I mean about the hotel. Yeah. It was like, yeah, a free-for-all with guns. Yeah. And some big guns as well. There's little guns, big guns, all sorts of guns. Medium-sized guns. Not really medium-sized. Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. Medium-sized gun actually I think is the one that you only pull out a medium-sized gun if you're going to shoot it. A big gun you can put over your shoulder. Little gun. Yeah, if you lived in America could you see yourself becoming a gun owner? Do you think I have that way about me? It's difficult to know really because I feel like in principle you're anti-gun yeah but if you're in a situation where everybody's got guns what do you do well I'm also yeah I'm one of those people that sort of I like to fit in with people yeah that's what I mean you're not you're not yeah you know weak-willed yeah I think like you would be able to go you know what I'm fucking opposed to guns thank you Derry and then like I'd be like oh no actually I was quite opposed and then what you do is you turn up at the bar with like the biggest gun you could find.
9:00You go, look at what I've got, boys. I fucking love these. In the back of my charses. You just went out of the back and shot a dog, actually. Just for shits and giggles. Oh, not my dog. Not Lucy. Yeah, that's what I'd imagine you'd be like. Yeah, I'd love to sort of like go, that wouldn't be me. I don't think I'd have the weather rules when you move to America.
9:22Romesh Ranganathan:Because one of the things is, I often think this, is like, the reason that we think guns are so appalling is because we don't have them, right? And I know that sounds slightly obvious, but what I mean is you don't know what your sensibilities would be if guns were allowed. If you've been brought up with them, I think the idea that all of us would be opposed to them is a fallacy actually, because I think a lot of the time what you think is okay and what you think is alright is actually determined by what society... Do you have anything by the bed if someone breaks in? No. Should I? I mean, I don't, why have I said this on the podcast?
10:02Yeah,
10:03Romesh Ranganathan:I've got a massive fucking gun and a fucking, and Reggie will fucking love the taste of cock. I don't mean he'll suck it, I mean he'll bite it off, he'll bite it off. Well, I mean when you broke into Romesh's house, his dog sucked me off. I broke into Romesh's house the other day, what'd you take? Nothing, I just wanted to see Reggie. Cutlass broke in, yeah, we had a threesome with him, it was good. He's got a nice cock-sucking dog.
10:35Legally, we can't say drinking Storm makes you smarter and more focused. But with zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine and immunity support, you're smarter and more focused for drinking Storm. Storm. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life. That's my favorite story, the Duncan Ferguson one, when the guys broke into his house. Yeah. And he was naked and he chased him down the road. he's fearsome Duncan Ferguson yeah yeah I do think I should be like a bit more equipped for that situation yeah well who would get out of bed if you felt someone really really of course not Theo probably no I think Theo's that I think Theo is probably the best one easy alpha in the house now yeah I think he
11:17Romesh Ranganathan:has been since you said a picture about 11 12 I'd say they start to get the I saw a picture of you and Theo the other day. And Theo looks so fucking hench. He's a really good looking boy as well. He's so handsome. You've like busted out of 10. First of all, what a horrible way to phrase it. You've busted out of 10. Oh mate, your balls have squirted out of 10. No, I mean like you and Lisa between you. Well, I think Lisa deserves more credit than I do, genetics wise really yeah I can see you in him though I can't no he has got yeah he's got your vulnerability which is nice yeah thanks that's really sweet no he's hench though he looks fucking good well you know he's part of his he's a really good looking boy and a sweet boy as well he's got a good heart which is not often the case no not with children that we've brought up no the other two horrible little vermin no they're all nice we're very lucky yeah But do you ever think about what you think would be okay if...
12:25Romesh Ranganathan:Like, what laws would you still abide by, even if it wasn't illegal? I guess it's wrong getting that. What, if someone broke into your house? Well, like, just in general. Like, what I mean is, like, we think murder's wrong because it's illegal, right? Yeah. But imagine if it wasn't. That would be insane. And somebody really fucked you off. And you just, like, snapped his neck. Yeah, maybe, I don't know. That would be an insane thing to... Just keep numbers down. Just go around killing people. But that's, then all, if you allow murder, you could just steal, I could literally go, I like your trousers and just rip them off you.
13:02Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. The fact of the matter is, if it wasn't illegal, if you wanted these trousers, they're yours. I'm not going to stop you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you'd have to walk around with your pants all day. Yeah. Yeah. Or you'd probably go by. Or I'd just walk up the road. Rom said his trousers nicked again. Everyone around here would start to know. Yeah. Oh, fucking hell. Tom liked his trousers again today. But you know what, that would become the thing, wouldn't it? Well, we'd live in a society where... It'd be like The Purge all the time. I've never watched that film. Yeah, I mean, it's a difficult premise to get on board with.
13:31Romesh Ranganathan:They decide that for one night, everything's legal. Is that what it is? Apparently that's... The premise of the film is that everything's legal for one night because it gets it out of your system. One night a year or one night ever? One night a year, I believe. And is that like it happens globally? Globally? No, I think it might just be an American thing. Okay. What would be the first thing you'd do in that situation? I mean, that is a great question. What would I do? I don't think I'd do anything. I'd fucking lock the doors. Yeah, I mean, obviously, if you're talking about that, I thought you meant like, what crime would I like to commit?
14:07Would you not run out and steal a couple of pairs of trains that you really like? No. Steal a car that you like? No. Wouldn't I go out and steal a car that I really like? No, it's the purge, right? So you're telling me, right, the purge happens, right? You know, you're sort of bowling, you know, swaggering to fucking Radio 2 on the Saturday. It's happened on the Friday. Beckett's in there with Vernon Kay in the chat. Josh Whittacombe.
14:34Romesh Ranganathan:Welcome to... It's Ramesh Ranganathan with you here on BBC Radio 2. Hope you had a great night. I killed three people. No, but you've done nothing, right? So Vernon Kay, who talks... I love Vernon, but Vernon talks like he's interviewing people all the time. even if you have a normal conversation with Vernon. You feel like he's an interviewer. Yeah, yeah. Do you? I love Vernon, but Vernon will turn around and go, hello, it's Tom Davis. How are you doing, Tom? You're a West Ham fan. West Ham are done well this year. It's like he talks to you like, yeah, like, you like fairgrounds, Tom. Do you like...
15:06I mean, he makes you right, doesn't he? Yeah. He talks like he's interviewing you in a conversation. I haven't noticed that, but yeah. Yeah. Or maybe that's just how he talks to me. Maybe it's going to be tough work, this.
15:19Romesh Ranganathan:Have you spoken to Tom? Fire a lot of questions at him. Fire a shit ton of questions. Actually, before he starts answering, get the next one out. So Vernon Kay's there, Rob Beckett, Josh Willick. I don't know what you think happens at Radio 2. These people are not all there waiting for me. Josh is having a couple of cigarettes because he's been on a... We shouldn't say this before he's about to go into Strictly, but heavy, heavy psycho. Yeah, mate. And he doesn't mind bunning a zoot or two. Josh has got really into the purge, right? So he's killed Ross Kemp. Why has he killed Ross Kemp? Probably on my orders.
15:56He lived closer into him than I did. So he's got blood lust. He can't wait for the next one.
16:02Romesh Ranganathan:When I think about Josh Whittakam killing Ross Kemp, I imagine Josh being sort of snarf-sized and he's had to climb him. Or he's just poisoned the cheese sandwich Yeah, that's more likely. So Ross is in his house, probably got a shotgun, probably watching an old couple of... So Josh is breaking into Kemp. Yeah, but Kemp, obviously it's a purge, so Kemp's... He's defending himself. Yeah, but also he's winding himself up watching some England games. Yeah. Okay. I'll say, Ross, just stop with that. No, no, this is... Can I just say, like, I genuinely worry about the fact that he sits on his own watching the games, just getting so wound up.
16:41Romesh Ranganathan:Don't you ever sit on your own and watch the games? Yeah, I do, but I don't fucking post when I get so angry or so happy. I'm like, Ross, just like, I genuinely, look, I've made my, I'm not the biggest, I don't know Ross Kent. No. But there's a part of me that wants to go, look, mate, if you really want, I'm more than happy to come around and watch the games with you. If it means that you, you know. It feels like a weird way to solve your issue. Yeah, because then I could sit with him and when he's about to do it, go, hey, hey, just relax. Let's just enjoy the moment rather than spitting down the camera.
17:09It's so... But I mean, you're not completely guilt-free
17:14Romesh Ranganathan:of posting stuff during the games, are you? No, no, but I don't... Often there'll be a photo of you like this. Yeah. Better luck looks to them, boys. You know? That's in your canon, isn't it? Yeah, that is in my canon. But I don't... You often load that one in the clip. Yeah, can I also... You prick. Can I say, by the way, all year I'm posting about football. Yeah, you're locked and loaded, aren't you? Yeah, I'm not like, it's not like every fucking two years I come jumping out of a fucking... No, I get it, you're a football fan. ...jack in a box. Yeah. He's like, yeah, and the way he talks about it isn't like how you talk about fucking football.
17:45He talks about it in a very weird, regimented way. I'm just saying that he comes out, it's great, everyone's into it, but I'm like, the level of like, fucking veins popping out of his, you know, it's not good for a bloke of our age. I mean, he's older than us. I think,
18:01Romesh Ranganathan:maybe older than that. Really? Yeah. He's in good nick. Yeah. So Ross is pacing. He's heard that someone's going to come and kill him. Okay. How's Josh getting to his house? Sneaks in, breaks in through a window. Okay. Ross Kemp's left the back door open. No, no, no. Ross Kemp's not. Maybe he crawls through the cat flap. Okay, fine. Oh, bloody hell. Who are you? What do you want? You know very well who I am. Is that you, Josh Widdicombe? Yes, it is. You will never kill me! I will not die! Oh, yes, I will. Well, as you well know, Ross, it's the night of the purge. And I am going to fucking purge the life out of you.
18:42I'll fucking make love to you before you kill me. Well, actually, I don't mind that as an extra option. You will never kill me. I'm Ross Kemp. Ross Kemp, the third Ross Kemp of my name, of my family. My father was Ross Kemp. My grandfather was Ross Kemp. I've got to be honest with you. I'm not convinced you are Ross Kemp based on how you're talking. This is how I talk in real life. I'm Ross Kemp. Third of my name. Yes, I guess it's... You will have... Yes, I had a... I hope you had a big dinner and a big lunch. You'll need it to kill me, Ross Kemp. Third of my name. Yes, yes, yes. You'll be very clear on the...
19:17I don't... I've not come here to get your ID. I'm going to gut you, Ross Kemp, and then I'm going to sleep inside you like a tauntaun. What? Star Wars. You nerd. I'm going to kill you first. I hope you like death. You're about to eat it. you know you're supposed to yes and me
19:40it's really fucking difficult to work with you yeah but Ross Kemp I've never seen him have a conversation everything I'm saying you're going I am Ross Kemp third of the fucking Kemp's or whatever
19:50Romesh Ranganathan:what am I supposed to do with that and then I'm trying to fucking move it on and just keep going I will kill you I am Ross Kemp of the Kemp's he just keeps saying that same fucking line over and over again that's not what Ross Kemp's like Yeah, but this is my interpretation of him. I don't know him as well as you do. You know? This is what I think. Okay, fine. Okay, well, I'll give you a bit more. All right. Ross Cap, you're in a lot of trouble now. What kind of trouble do you bring to my door? Well, I've got a big old knife here. I've got to use it to gut you from tongue to taint. You better know how to use a knife.
20:24I do, I do. Have you ever killed a man before? Well, I took out Gordon Ramsay at the last purge. Did you kill Tess Daly? No, that was natural causes, I believe. I killed Leslie Grantham in his bath. Oh, good riddance to him, I'd say. But let me tell you something now, Ross. You're going to fucking get it from me. Well, if you kill me, you tell everyone that I died with bravery in my heart. I don't think I'll bother doing that. Tell Romesh that I will visit him in death. Is that sort of a ghost scenario? Yes! As a ghost, I shall bring fear upon the Ranganathans. Why? I mean, listen, I'm not against it, but what...
21:12Take your clothes off and let's fight to the death. Um, no, I actually was... I was planning on staying fully clothed during this. No, I'm taking my jeans off now. Oh, my God, put your fucking jeans back on. And my underpants. Oh, bloody hell. Well done, Ross.
21:29Would you like a game of tummy sticks before we fight? Yeah, that's sure. I quite fancy it. Why are you getting your phone out, Ross? To do this video. I am Roskam. I am about to fight Josh Renneke naked to the death. Hello, it's Josh here. Here's a video of my day.
Read the full transcript
21:53Sorry, listeners, by the way. Oh, bloody hell. I mean, Ross kept living. I'm trying to kill him. Fucking purge. It's making it very difficult. This is just a game of tummy sticks. Unbelievable. Take your clothes off, boy. I've got to go. I've got to take my clothes off. So, right, that happens. He kills Ross Kemp somehow, right?
22:12Romesh Ranganathan:Well, now we've set up the scenario, I don't see a situation where Josh Whittakin walks away from that. Mate. I think if Ross Kemp's awake, it's over. No, no. You've got to kill him in his sleep. If he gets really into the game of tummy sticks, right, he then, Josh can just reach for the knife. How do you envisage tummy sticks going? Ross is just really into it and Josh is playing the long game right yeah but what is I know what tummy sticks is how does the game go what are the rules well I just think you hold each other
22:46and it's yeah like it's just a nice sort of thing do they just touch yeah no no you touch each other's tummies with your tummy stick yeah yeah with your tummy stick yeah you touch each other's tummies with your tummy sticks? Yeah, so you pull your tummy, your stick up, so they're both touching your tummies and then you embrace, right? Oh, okay. So you hold, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:05Romesh Ranganathan:Like we did it New Year's? Yeah, we did it New Year's, yeah. And then it's just the first person who wants to let go and Josh holds him. Yeah. Josh wouldn't be on his, you know, Josh would be sort of being holed up, I guess, by Ross. Yeah, because their tummy sticks are not going to mate, are they? No, no. I mean, it's more chin sticks. Oh, I think you're tummy six against my Adam's apple.
23:35Anyway, and then Josh gets to fucking drop on him. Yeah. Out of nowhere. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe... Falls out of his arms. Yeah. And then, yeah. Knife in the gooch. Yeah. Boom. Down goes Kemp. Yeah. And then he just, in the neck. Yeah. So he comes in, he's got a fag, he's telling everyone. Yeah. it was about three hours of tummy sticks in the end and beckett's loving it i was exhausted beckett's basically set fire to a load of different stuff yeah yeah i mean just driving around wherever he lives with like petrol bombs yeah um vernon k uh has just gone out like just you know shot up loads of stuff yeah with a shotgun um old school shotgun yeah they borrowed off a farmer and then you come in and you're telling me it's the purge, right?
24:21Those three are all showing off, bragging. And you come in and they're like, oh yeah, what did you do? And you're like, oh, I just stayed in. I didn't do nothing, just stayed in on my jacks. I think that is what I would do. It's difficult. You'd love cars. You wouldn't just go to a really cool car showroom and just take a car for a spin and then bring it back. No. What, you'd just sit in? I think I would have just... Probably playing Grand Theft Auto, knowing you. I'd sit in scared. Yeah, well, you would be, because obviously if people come to your house, you've got no... Yeah. You've got nowhere to defend yourself.
24:50No, no. Because Theo and Charlie and Alex would be fucking... Yeah, Theo would be fucking... They'd be pillaging the local town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I imagine Lisa would be up to no good. Yeah. She'd be up to all sorts.
25:02Romesh Ranganathan:Get the old balaclava on again. She wouldn't need it on Purge night, would she? No, no, no. Although I do think if it was the Purge, you still have to protect your identity. Yeah, yeah, because the next day it's a fucking awkward situation if you're in Tesco's and someone goes, oh, by the way, thanks for shitting the purge yesterday or you know in the weeks before you go around your mate's houses and see what sort of stuff you'd like yeah yeah yeah so is there like with the purge I haven't seen the film is there a thing where you know it's coming it's on the same yeah it's on the same night I mean what's really important about the purge is that everybody thinks it's on the same night yeah no no but it's not like something you get an email and go oh by the way the purge is next Tuesday it's like the same no I think I think the purge is the same okay when is it when would it be in the year what in the film when is it Well, let's have a look.
25:48Romesh Ranganathan:I don't know if they specify the day, but I think you probably want it to be in the winter months, wouldn't you? Just to sort of... Because some people might go, do you know it's a bit nippy out? I'm not going to bother. Yeah. 7pm on March 21st to 7am on March 22nd. How many people are getting up at 7am to get stuck into the purging? No, not. It's 7pm. It starts. It finishes at 7am. Oh, yeah. Okay. Imagine if you slept through. Oh, no. Fucking hell. You had to get 6am. Oh, bloody hell. It's 6.45. I've got to kill fucking Ross Kemp. Ross Kevin thinks he's made it through the night. It'd be horrible to get done at 6.59, wouldn't it?
26:21It would be, yeah.
26:23Romesh Ranganathan:What happens if Josh and Ross are really going for it and it goes all the way through the night? What happens if it makes it till 7 and then Josh goes, oh, well, bloody hell. I'll see you next year, Widdicombe. I almost got you. See you next year, Ross. It'd be nice then as well that they spark up a friendship. Well, they might start, you might go, you know, while you're here. I'd just stay over another game of tummy sticks. You're doing me so well. Yeah. Yeah. This is taking a weird turn. It has a weird turn. I had no idea that this would be. Well, it all started, the inception of this, the origin story, was you saying one in the clear.
27:03Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I know, yeah. And we've gone on a free-for-all around purging. Yeah. Can we talk about your tattoo addiction? Yes. I'd really love to chat about it yeah I mean it's real you have an addictive personality yeah that's a fair thing to say isn't it awful awful not awful yeah but yeah no very addictive you really get into stuff yeah if I've I can't do anything halfway no I mean I told I told you about I don't know if we talked about this before fruit and fibre yeah yeah I love fruit and fibre no but I mean my addiction to it yeah you're addicted no I'm not addicted now although I do eat it now which possessed I wasn't addicted every man of our age should be eating it yeah I did develop an addiction to it for a while it was all I ate for a few days for a while what do you mean you didn't eat any other food no what about protein no protein no just eating fruit and fibre it was a long time ago is that when you dropped all the weight when I started doing stand up I was eating just fruit and fibre have all the cereals to eat I know it was really great it was great in a sense but you would be like 90 % fibre yeah I mean I was pooing I would say wholesome thick poos or scatterguns a bit of both wow yeah so anyway anyway so forget all that yeah tattoos yeah talk me for your uh what's happened i've wanted to get a few for a while i've talked to you about it as my almost my mr miyagi my mentor of tattoos right and every i work with you i look at your sleeves i'm like they look sick i'm not gonna lie um and then i just got i started like with a couple then i had some more empty space on that arm so i thought i'll just get that that some other bits so were you initially hoping to just get a couple was that yeah at first no i just thought you know i'm gonna get just get a couple couple put on and then it's now i think i've i'm gonna know how many have i done now quite a few yeah but you're you're getting them done so even though i've got well currently i've got more tattoos in here but i think that's probably i'm two weeks away from you're overtaking me.
29:04Romesh Ranganathan:No, no, no. I'm not getting any more done before holiday. I have quite a few, I have quite a gap between getting them. Whereas what you're doing is you're sort of going out during your lunch break, aren't you, and getting another one. Yeah. Just for shits and giggles. Yeah. So what is your long-term strategy here? This is like most things in my life. There's not a long-term strategy. Right, okay. No, no, I jest. If I'm honest with you, I looked at, I was like, actually I kind of think they look quite sick actually once you get them. and then you just start thinking about more and more and then i think then you do look at empty space where you've had one and you i think if you've got just one like in this arm i now look against that arm and i'm like oh i should get a few more yeah but they don't have to match no but then i'd look no but i do then just look at different things and go i might get that done and i think i think they're nice reminders of things yeah oh look look you're talking your preachers are converted here i love it yeah you know but and it is an addictive thing where like as soon as you see a blank space, you think you need to get that filled in.
30:05Romesh Ranganathan:What I want to know is, how far does this go? Am I going to be talking to you in six months' time? With a face toe? Yeah. No, not a face toe. But could everything else be? Do you know what? Would you get all of this done? No, but just because I look at the painting over of me when you're filming. They'd have to get a roller, wouldn't they? Yeah. whereas most of them I can have like a wear a t-shirt but I'll probably get more on the body upper legs a couple on my calves and then that would be like that means when you're on holiday once you've got that done you start to get excited to take your top off then wouldn't you yeah because you're unleashing some artwork yeah there was a guy by the pool last year who had some lovely artwork and also now it's a weird thing once you get into it you start looking at other people's tattoos and thinking that's a really nice bit of work like you've got some bangers thanks do you ever would you ever comment to a stranger about that time yeah well I did that before I got toes so what would you do no I think please tell me yeah yeah well how she knows oh no that's sure actually do you know what I've been horrible there I've been horrible and now I think but before I think you as almost think yeah I think like before it would meant this this was my like Tommy said that is my he's really my Mike Tommy's really really against tattoos why he just doesn't like so we went out the other day played a bit of golf and i'd obviously got he's like i fucking know where do you get all these toes all of a sudden yeah and i was like and he was like i don't like them i don't like tattoos he said they look good but i don't he said i just think that they're a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling so to that i mean that's i mean that's what that's what that says on my arm and then i sent a picture of it and he went why have you got that that says this is a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling is that what it's got that's what it says yeah this is a permanent reminder of temporary feeling that's hilarious but that is and it's but then katherine's had a word with me so in what way what does she say no she's like look i'm all for you to get tattoos you talk as well i was talking about it genuinely as well like i was looking at yours and we spent a lot of time together and i was like they look sick i think that they're i think they're a good way of like sometimes getting a feeling out or whatever and yeah anyway um and she's like that i think you know they look good on you you enjoy and getting them yeah and then we're watching the world cup and the game uh you know a moment bellingham and kane are standing together it was a goal bellingham had scored uh the second goal against uh norway and there's a moment where they're both standing with their arms up and i went i'm gonna get that tattooed and she went no you can't and then i got it designed so i'm designed the tattoo and i'm she where you can't get that's this on you forever then yeah Like, you know, well, I do better than Harry Kane.
32:51You know, they're nice guys. But it's like, for what ends? And I was like, where are you going to get it? And I was like, I'll probably get it here on my right rib cage. She was like, no. She can't get that. And I went to the... Did she like put her foot down? She was like, genuinely, the one's in your hands, whatever, fine. Like other ones you've got, but you're not getting that. She's just like, it's really like... And I was like, but I love those two guys as footballers. And she went, yeah, but just enjoy it. just go and get a shirt with fucking jude benham's name don't get inked on your your body so yeah that was the one where she pulled her card off and she said you can't do that and i won't know
33:27Romesh Ranganathan:my one of my things that i don't get tattoos that frequently is every time well i tend to get like portraits or like detailed ones and like that like say for example that one there took so long yeah not like not too long but it took a long time to get that level of detailing and it hurts a lot yeah right like there and also like you know where he's going all over there and stuff it hurts it actually puts me off going for a bit I have to sort of recharge my ready to have this pain the one on my leg hurt but then I was like and that one's probably the longest that was like three and a half four hours that's a long time to happen I mean I know there are going to be hardcore tattoo people that are going to go mate I sat for 27 hours but also I like what you've got on the mine as well like that arm where it's just bits that's what I like it's just I'll go I genuinely and you make a joke but I was like I quite like the idea of getting a line tattoo and I had an afternoon and just text Alex my mate I was like have you got anyone around to get a line and he was like you were in last week and I was like yeah I was just going to pop by so it's got that one yeah and if I think too much about it I didn't do it for years whereas I think fuck it you know just last short just just get it done why not ruin it
34:49Romesh Ranganathan:you got any on your legs yeah I mean so I had a really awkward not an awkward moment but like this thing of like most of the time my friends they just don't give a shit I got an Autobot logo on the back of my calf right because I love Transformers yeah is it a big one love Transformers about that size yeah Autobot logo because I wanted it. And then I was out with my mates once and that was quite an early one. Because you're a big short wearer. No, not really. So I said, I just got a tattoo done. And he'd go, what did you get done? And I pulled up my leg and showed him this sort of thing. And one of my mates just went, why the fuck would you get that done?
35:30Romesh Ranganathan:Really? I think it's cool. No, he did not think it. Not only did he not think it was cool, he I felt like it changed his opinion like he looked so he almost got gutted that I'd got that tattoo he's like so what you've got so when you wear shorts on holiday you're going to have this like Autobot logo on your calf and I said yeah but one day I was in the States somebody else had an Autobot logo yeah but that's the cool thing about him we had an incredible moment I've got the Nando's in my mum because I met Catherine in Nando's yeah I put the Nando's emblem them yeah it's nice yeah I think I think those things I think I've been all about things cool mmm me too but but but also yeah I also know that that I've just people have gone like float flow messaged me and she was like how many tattoos of you are you gonna have in like essentially two months hmm how many have you gotten have you counted no one two three four five and there's probably like about 17 so you got 17 how many did you have two months ago one so it's quite a rapid rate of yeah yeah tattooing isn't that but I do you know what this is the thing about it I design loads before I'd had always been like and I've like had what I wanted in the back of my mind for a long time and just been probably to ever put much of a pussy or just put like thought and as soon as I got one I knew caffeine you so as I had one that would be it I'd just go for it and I'd be obsessed yeah I've never come I mean you're quite unique in that regard yeah popping out for a tattoo on your lunch break I'm sure I'm sure people do do that actually yeah but to go from nothing to yeah to I mean you're going at it full tilt yeah no I think you're gonna end up like blacking out an arm or something like that no no I never did it I think you're for the win you go once you get would you ever do that thing where have you seen that thing where they they anesthetize you and then they just work on you while you're unconscious like that's a mad thing to like i mean if they offered anyone that you do what's the most painful one you've had done uh i think probably elbow elbow wasn't fun yeah knees and elbows maybe really painful yeah and underarm that the one i've got there's one here there did that hurt yeah just which i didn't think it would but then also i don't want to be a pussy when i'm having it done in what way like i try if i'm in pain i just just try well that's helpful to the artist because i don't want you jiggling around yeah but like i take breaths and i just go to another place but like when they're barbaric that one yeah that's horrific but when it when they're doing portraits they'll have like gone over it so many times you know and paul's pretty gentle but then he'll incredible yeah and then will go right we're almost done that point between him saying we're almost done and the end feels three days yeah it feels insane and like when he goes i'm just gonna put a bit of white paint back in it he's also a perfectionist isn't he yeah and you're just sitting there like yeah is the prior one your favorite i don't know no i don't know actually i think probably this biggie one i really like yeah it's nice that didn't really hurt though because it's on the outside but anyway he's doing in my calf.
38:51He's in your calf? Yeah. I'm having them, now I'm thinking how long will that take to have, I want Billy Connolly and Bernie Mac down in my calf.
38:59Romesh Ranganathan:Anyone else? I've got one of you already. We've got one of each other. No, but anyone alongside Heroes of Comedy, do you know what I mean? Would you want me to get you again? Yeah, I think so. You know what we should do? Okay, this is a genuine suggestion. Do you know Paul and Carl who work there? They've got each other on their arses. I was about to say, I would love to get you, like you just peering down like sort of the crack of my ass. That is, I do think that's the one one where Lisa and Kat would have something to say about it. Or you, it would be fun just to get, like you, so if my sleeve comes up, you on the back of my arm like going, what's going on here then?
39:38You know what we could do? We get a tattoo each that listeners design or people watch and listen. Do you not think we need to give them a bit of a stare on that? Okay. Yeah, right, you get, what part of your body could someone design one for you here okay inner elbow yeah how about you uh i'm gonna go thigh alongside the lion somewhere like that okay so they've got that's a lot more drawing yeah isn't it that's quite a big area no no no something's yeah i mean it depends what it is the size of the lion no not size of the line so there's something here okay fine next to the lion yeah all right fine yeah uh wolf outpod at gmail.com courtesy of john uh send them in uh just always head up your emails hey john this is a tattoo design for the guys um john likes to fetishize over tattoo designs okay that's i think i will put my mic up for that that's not true alright Tom can you take us out please new flavours new dawns new days Eric was a schoolboy who had never tried bacon fries before everyday he had the same watsits little Mark Phillips sat next to him and he had a variation of crisps everyday Eric would look at Mark and be like Look at him with his variation of crisps.
41:06Why does he need to try them so much? Once you've found the first perfect thing in a cheese what's it, you don't need to look any further. But Phillips was something different. A renegade almost. Even if he thought he'd found his favourite crisps by the day he first had bacon fries. Even the next day brought in skips. Up in the game always. But where would it end, Phillips? Where would it end, Mark? Years passed and years passed. and one day Eric sat on the tube, what sits in hand. It was his lunch break and he'd just been to get a fresh tattoo. As he sat at the tube, a warm leg pressed against his.
41:44He sniffed. What's that? McCoy's, salt and vinegar. He looked next to him, but it was Mark Phillips. Phillips laughed. Look at you, Eric. Eric from school. Still eating your cheesy what sits, huh? You never try any other crisps. And Eric said no. No, no, no, I've always been with Watsits. What about you? And he said, I've tried crisps all over the world. I tried Lay's potato crisps in Ireland. Tortillas in Mexico. I've tried everything and I've been all over the world. And he left and Eric sat on the tube. An old lady with a glint in the eye stared at him and said, never tried any other crisps.
42:25On his walk home he thought, maybe I should experience something different. and he pulled into a shop and he picked up a bag of quavers, took two in his hand and thrust them into his mouth and spat them straight out. He didn't like the taste, but he tried something new. And as he walked back to his house, his small flat, on the outskirts of London, he felt an immense pride because although he didn't like the taste, he tried something different. And sometimes that's all we've got to do, is step out of the comfort zone. Try something in you. And feel that maybe, maybe, a little bit of Mark Phillips and all of us
43:08Romesh Ranganathan:can be unleashed. Really nice. Really nice. Quite a long journey to what's quite a simple message, really. But thank you so much. Thanks for listening to The Wolf for now. We will see you next time. Au revoir. Clip empty.
43:28You
From the publisher
Should Tom and Romesh get each other tattooed on their backsides?
This week on Wolf & Owl, Tom and Romesh tackle Tom's tattoo addiction and ask the important question all friendships ultimately arrive at, shall we tattoo each other on our arses? Plus another question arises, what would they actually do if The Purge became reality?
From debating guns and home invasions to an unexpected role play of Ross Kemp and Josh Widdicombe that absolutely nobody could have expected. Not to forget, a classic tale from Tom to top it off. Don't miss it.
A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media.
Chapters
00:00 Intro
03:43 On guns
10:36 Home invasions
12:11 The Purge question
16:20 Tom’s beef with Ross Kemp’s rage
18:07 A Josh Widdicombe, Ross Kemp roleplay
24:05 What would Rom do during The Purge?
26:55 The boys's addictions
28:05 Tattoo chat
40:25 Tom's story
43:00 Outro
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
