S4 Ep 30: Dirty Services & Mounjaro Jabs

21:39Rubers are you've done the jab as well on the thing So I mean obviously

21:42Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah Rubers are I have done the jab And I do want to say actually Like the way that you're sort of denying it I realise by the way Yeah yeah We need to be careful here because the implication here is that there's something wrong if you do it. There's nothing wrong with doing it. No, no, no, there's nothing wrong with it. It's changed people's lives, actually. And for the better, and I've got friends that have helped out. What I will say is I'm coming across very Bill Clinton in my defence as well. Yeah, how do you mean? You did not inhale it. Well, Manjaro has become my Monica Lewinsky. Why are you so desperate to deny it, though?

22:16No, because I'm proud that I've done it without any offence.

22:19Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, and here we come to the nub of the problem, isn't it? No, no. You've lost weight and you want to be patted on the head for it, don't you? I don't want to be patted on the head. That's a different thing. There's a pride that I feel in the fact that I've looked at myself and gone, I actually know what, I need to do something. And also, may I say, I went to see a doctor. My doctor was like, you're morbidly obese. You're in a very bad scenario. But also, I've done it over the longevity of, what, four or five years of training. So when someone says, oh, you've just done the jab, I'm a little bit like, no.

22:55Yeah, you're annoyed. No, of course I'm annoyed. I'd be lying if I was there. Were you not annoyed when you've gone out, you've fucking put in the hours on the road, fucking grinding it? What's wrong with you? Just the idea of you as a road man always makes me laugh.

23:16No, but you've ground it out. You've won two marathons. And then all of a sudden someone's going, oh, you've just done a jab. I think it's just the bit you feel. I don't mind.

23:24Romesh Ranganathan:I don't mind. Well, you don't mind that you're hard work. It's only you put your mind to. You actually, like, you know, for me, I love food, as we know. Like, the amount of times that I've cut back on this or I've not drunk or I've, like... Oh, mate, the number of times I've been out for dinner with you and you've got... And listen, credit to you for this, where you've just gone, I'm going to have one main course, actually. And I go, do you... You jest, right? I hold my hands up. You jest, right? I put through the other day what I'd have as an... Shout out to Big John. um i know what i'd have as an average evening on a saturday night if i had a chinese or an indian takeaway what calories i'd have how much you think i'd have uh i'm gonna get what chinese actually i've sort of looked at these sort of numbers and i reckon you're easily you're probably easily hitting three and a half four i reckon yeah four and a half five thousand yeah yeah in a meal but yeah and then by I say like back in those days for lunch at that point in my life it would be weird for me to have had a McDonald's breakfast of a Saturday then go I'll have a healthy lunch and I'll have like a ham sandwich that I'll make with like a whole fucking pack of ham and then have a Chinese takeaway in the evening all washed down with about fucking four litres of fucking full fat coke yeah that was my and a couple of fucking pints of lager for lunch yeah so when I look at it and think like I've made changes I feel quite proud No, you should be.

24:48Romesh Ranganathan:I'm being a dick. I'm being a dick. No, no, but that is your way. That is your go-to. No, no, no, no. It's not my go-to. Oh. No, it's evident that, like... Here we go. I wonder when the tables will turn. Here we are. No, no, you've got... No, your prick tendencies are abundant at times. Oh, God. He's done me. He's done me. I had him on the right. You can be quite like the mean kid at school who's in with the school bully. Fuck. Whispering nasty things. Mac, Mac, go and say this. Oh. Well done. Well done. Good for you, man. You got me. But can I say also, do you follow Big John? No, I don't. Well, the truth is, I do like Big John a lot.

25:42Romesh Ranganathan:I worry about any influencer whose popularity is determined, is dependent on them eating a lot of food. Do you know what I mean? And so there's part of me that kind of, I'm not being, not in a judgmental way, and it's not because he's a big guy. I've got nothing against that. Like, you know, if you're big, you're big. Do you know what I mean? It's like, it is what it is. I'm not trying to be body fascist, but I just, like, I just think that, you know, in the nature of any online influencer, if you do a thing, what is the natural thing you've got to do? You've got to go, you've got to do more. more you've got to beat whatever you did last time and big john rightly so is like you know well loved my thing is i i there's part of me that feels a bit loathed to kind of yeah it's it's because what'll happen is he'll get a big take when he'll go list it all out and go bash and then someone will go that's not a lot for you john and then if okay the next time i do this i'm gonna get double that i i'm more like the amount of like trolling he gets that's just so like you know that that influencer thing it must be such a fucking crazy thing when you do some of the stuff that people say to him it's just like i mean we've both had a level of trolling but when i look at the stuff that gets said to him it's fucking vicious it's like yeah i can't i can't believe some of the stuff.

27:03Sometimes when I read some stuff, I look quickly just above just to make sure it's not you being mean. Really good.

27:11Romesh Ranganathan:You know what? Really, really good. I like it. I like the idea if you hadn't become a comedian, you'd have been a troll.

27:26Romesh Ranganathan:He's absolutely dumb here. I prefer you when you imagine... Oh, yeah. Oh, fucking hell. I'm going to say something really mean about you, mate. Oh, shit. Rom, Rom, are you coming to bed? Leisha, I'll be happy in a minute. I'm doing some fucking trolling. I'm trolling the people, Leisha, darling. It's somebody whose behaviour is going unchecked. They need to know that I disapprove, despite not knowing what they've been through or what they're up to right now. I reserve the right to be angry at somebody just for doing what they do and not harming anybody. I'm angry at everything, Leesh. I'm going to get angry.

28:06Romesh Ranganathan:Otherwise I can't go to sleep. It's rather that or you've got to shag me. Which one do you want it to be? Well, you keep on trolling, babe. You keep on trolling.

28:17Romesh Ranganathan:I posted a video. Radio 2 posted a video because I wore a green suit to the work yesterday. And then Fernand, who does the socials, he was wearing green as well. and then Zoe Ball that's a great name by the way Fernandez oh he is great my name and then Zoe Ball came in she was also wearing green so can I just read this comment Zoe Ball was the queen by the way can I just say Zoe Ball was the queen absolute legend what a legend of a human being um so then we posted the video I didn't post it Radio 2 posted the photo this does not upset me so I don't want anybody to like worry about me but I just think it's funny how angry people get um

28:58Romesh Ranganathan:somebody's commented literally spot the white woman oh okay I actually thought this was going to be that's so silly Romesh replaced the bird with the fringe and now he's cocked his leg over license fee payers I mean what is wrong with people

29:19also the fact that they talk about Zoe Ball who's arguably, you know, one of the best broadcasters at our time, an incredible

29:27Romesh Ranganathan:fucking face on television for them to turn around and instead of like, to try and make a point Romesh has replaced the bird on his left. I'm like, you know. Well, I mean, he's talking about Claudia Winkleman there. Is he? Claudia Winkleman's not in the picture there. No, but he's saying that he's basically, he's pivoted from that to suggest that I've replaced one of the other few white women at Radio 2 basically. That's the point. Jesus Christ. It's not upsetting, but it is like... Well, it is upsetting because it's... Social media has become such a toilet of... I mean, it's upsetting for... I know this is the sort of thing that people say, but it's upsetting for that person because like, imagine living your life getting that angry about shit.

30:13Romesh Ranganathan:Like, you just wake up in the morning and you see a photo... I get angry about stuff. I don't get angry about other people's photos. No, but also, you wake up in the morning and a radiator posted a photo of three people that happen to be wearing green and that has sent you into a fucking rage. I mean, what a way to live your life. Yeah, but that is so true. It's just like a fucking power kick. You've got no idea what is going to trigger you. Do you know what I mean? I'm just going to have a quick scroll. Fucking hell, they're all wearing green.

30:43Romesh Ranganathan:It's mad. Yeah. I'm in a third place. I'm hoping it's all right. Sometimes it's the only way I hear from Dinesh.

30:52Romesh Ranganathan:do you ever message those people back no no because i i think i've said this on the podcast before but like a couple of times back in the day on twitter you know somebody would say something and then i would comment back to them and then what would happen is is everybody would everybody that followed me would see my reply and then they pile in that person and then i think now i feel bad because all that person's done is i i do think if you see me on something and it annoys you that is fine like like i do think that is that you you have the right to feel annoyed you have the right to think i'm shit i think that's totally fine and i would defend that person's right to feel that way you know you shouldn't have to like everything you see i get that so then if somebody just sort of angrily what the thing i do think is a bit off is that social media now gives you the power to put that view in front of that person do you mean unsolicited and i think that's a little you know like he's tagged me in that so like i i do think that um that is a bad thing but in terms of if somebody hates you somebody hates you do you know what i mean but but the point i'm trying to make is if they do that then fine they've just done that the that what they don't deserve even if they are criticizing you is a fucking massive pile on i like that like i've got i think it was at the time i remember like one specific time and i think i've talked about it i said league of their own this week is worth watching for tony bellew alone something like that i tweeted that right and then somebody replied how much did he have to pay you to suck him off like that and it was the reply there you go instantly laugh instantly laugh no but just the idea of Tony Bellew instantly yeah just the idea of you sucking off Tony Bellew let me be clear with that it makes no sense because Tony Bellew would not have to pay me a penny to suck him off look at the geezer Tony Bellew's one of the sexiest guys I've ever been around not only that you think I'm going to turn I'm going to say no to Tony Bellew if he asked me for a blowjob I'm not fucking on my knees before he's finished the question.

32:48Tony Bell, who's genuinely one of my favourite people that I've ever been in contact with.

32:52Romesh Ranganathan:I'm wiping my chops before he's finished the sentence. Anyway, so he's gone. He's gone. He's gone. How much did Tony Bell ever say? I was just now just thinking, like, Tony Bell, a bit angered by something, and you just going, you're pissed off, Tony? Yeah. Want me to give you a blowjob? No, I'm not pissed off. I'm not, lad, I'm not pissed off. Just leave it. Leave it. No, I can do it if you want. I can do it if you want. I'm all right, mate. I'm all right. No, no, no. Romesh, I don't like it. Just leave it. Leave it. No, I can. I can. Romesh, put your clothes back on, mate, and get out of here, please.

33:30Romesh Ranganathan:Whatever you want. Like, whatever you want to calm me down. This is actually making me angry, mate. Um... Fucking hell. I cannot wait to be at a, like, something, and then both Tony Belli and Princeton seem to turn up at the same time to clobber the fuck out of me. get a clump off both of them no Tony knows I love him but anyway I replied not as much you'd have to pay me to rock that fucking top knot you've got right that was the reply right it's just very because in his profile photo he had like one of those little kind of you know the little tiny anyway it then was like a slaughter just everybody going and going he's done you like I hadn't done him but it was like a very cheap thing to say but like everybody's ripping into him and then It just occurred to me, that guy had like 200 followers.

34:18Romesh Ranganathan:And he's done like a little thing where he's gone, Romesh is sucking up to tain your belly, so I'm just going to say a fuck. And he might have meant it as a joke. Do you know what I mean? He might not have meant it maliciously. He might have gone... I would imagine you saying that to me on the podcast. I saw your tweet. How much did he have to pay you to fucking put his dick in your mouth? He might have meant it like that. And then instead, I basically accidentally instigate a pylon. And then when that happened, I thought, I'm never going to do that again to anybody. I mean, even if they're going in on me, I'm never going to do that.

34:46Romesh Ranganathan:It's horrible. I had a weird one. I've talked to you about this before, but I had a thing. I was gigging the other week in Northampton. OK, we get it. You're booked and busy. I understand. It was very... Yeah, yeah. Northampton on a Friday night is the glitz and glamour of the week. It was the hottest day of the year. And to put it into context, I arrived. Tom Rosenthal's been on. it was so hot in this fucking room you could see people he's like some of the audiences like this of some older people who've fallen asleep during my his performance which is never great and i would say that stand up arguably there's a certain time where the heat is too much and it's very hard stand up is pathetic it only works if the sound is a certain way the lights are certain when the temperature is a certain way otherwise you can't fucking do it it's so fragile people think you can do it anywhere you can't it's the only thing more fragile is the people on stage anyhow so tom told me that lloyd's on when i get in and lloyd uh shoots straight off and then the and i won't name them because i don't really know them but the um the compel then turns around to me and goes um i'm not going to close your show today yeah can you close your show you're going to close your show i'm not close the show because i need to get on a train i've got a poker game to get to and i'm like what like you know usually as you know you know i'll finish as the headliner and the compel will come and go thank you very much better better uh so i'm like okay whatever usually what you do in that scenario is say is it okay if you close the show not you're closing the show i'm leaving oh is that how it was said to you yeah yeah oh i didn't realize that okay okay yeah so it slightly changes things not massive yeah if to put yeah um but anyhow so it's hard i'm trying out new material i'll go on uh yeah i thought i did okay you know it was you know not my best gig of all you know but whatever i i think i'm coming home and i get a dm from someone saying, just been to the show, so to say, I think you just phoned it in and you half-arsed it out there tonight.

36:45Jesus Christ. And I was like, I sort of let that sit for a second. And I was like, that, you know, I put in a, you know, it was hot. Some of the new material are going to be quite transparent. Hadn't worked. You know, that's just the nature of it. Anyway, I sort of thought, deliberating what to do. And then I ended up voice noting this person back and saying... Jesus. No, no, but just to say, like... Because I didn't want them to think... Like, I will say this, right? I, like, everyone that does what we do, like you're saying, right? You might not like... My material might not be good enough, or you might not like what I say.

37:28I might swear to you. All of these things, you know, fair enough, whatever. but the thought that I'd you know one thing I don't ever half-ass a gig I'd give it what I've you know I've got in me and I'd try to put on a show I think that's that's you know the bare minimum that I'll try you know so the thought that I'd turned up and just fucking you know I found so that's essentially what I said to this person and to be fair to this person I will say came back and actually ended up having three or four voice notes with them and actually chatting with them about comedy and actually they're a listener of this podcast and uh a fan of the podcast and actually turned out to be quite a nice person but my thing was i get i found that i found that offensive to thought that i'd rock up and not give a shit about the people in the audience that's the thing like like i say you know part of our job is at some time we're not gonna not everyone in the room is gonna like what we're gonna say sometimes it's gonna fall down and people go that's fucking or whatever that's just not very good but yeah anyway this but then can i just say that the person i was then messaging actually we opened up to each other and we had quite a long chat about mental health about quite a lot of other things i'm not going to say their name but actually were pretty sweet soul and okay well i guess the point of my roundabout point was they said something that i actually took at humber like i found quite offensive i'm rich with and that's just how they saw it um but actually in the end it was that they were a very nice person a very decent person and actually ended up having a very decent conversation with them about other things in life about one thing or another so i need to say i made a snap judgment thinking that person's an

39:09Romesh Ranganathan:and they weren't they were very decent i i am glad that that conversation worked out for you i am glad and it sounds like this person's a lovely person but they weren't not a lovely person if they thought you half-arsed it. I mean, that's their right to think that, isn't it? Of course it is, that's what I mean, yeah. But my argument would be is not everybody's going to like you and you have to just sort of be okay with that. You know, like... Yeah, but also, I suppose my thing is... If that person walked away thinking you half-arsed it, you can live with that, can't you? I mean, the whole illusion of stand-up is that you're not trying.

39:43Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, that is... Yeah, but also... The best stand-ups look like they're not trying. But I would say that this person has messaged me on the basis that they brought a ticket to come and see me perform. Okay, okay. And come away from it and thought that I wasn't bothered about them or anyone else in the audience, which is, like I say, I don't, like, I can't sit here and, like, I'm aware that some people will come and watch me and go. But I thought that, like, I do every time I step on stage, I try to, I'm not saying, you know, but I try to do my best to do the job and make sure it's never lost on me.

40:14People have paid money to come and see us. That's fucking...

40:17Romesh Ranganathan:Every time. So, yeah, sometimes people get freebies. But what I mean is every time you've tried your hardest. Yeah, I think I tried my hardest to put a performance of sorts on. I've gigged with you and you've really fucking phoned it in.

40:35Romesh Ranganathan:You are so... Now, listen, do you remember it always be comedy when you just, like, literally as you walked on, you went, fuck these people? Do you remember? No. No, you did do that. What I actually said was, what I said was, this is a cash-in-hand gig. they'll get cash in hand fucking well no you didn't no it also let me clear that up you are you are very diligent i do respect that but like um i understand what you're saying the person got in touch with you with a complaint so you're almost like the complaints department for tom yeah i'm like yeah i'm like complaints yeah yeah and also i just yeah i thought i have a right to apply and also this person yeah like i said and actually shout them out they were what my thought was my but also my takeaway was very much at first like i i felt pissed off about what they'd said and i felt very upset about what they'd said and that was grating on me and actually took it into the next day when i was at home the next day with my wife and daughter i took that into the next day feeling pissy about and actually by the end of the day what was what i took as quite a negative was actually i felt quite a positive experience chatting to the person go actually you know what this person's all right right and you know it could you know so i don't know sometimes it pays to sometimes it pays to engage i get that i understand and actually do you know what tom i've learned a little thing from you there because i was ready to like launch into one at you and in fact i started to do you know i mean that's just my way as you know that i've got as a grotty little troll yeah um and you've taught me a lesson as your alias zed bit 55

42:06your trolling account on Instagram

42:12oh fuck off Taylor Swift

42:18Romesh Ranganathan:I'm doing an anxious laugh now I'm just letting this play out and see where else you want to take this well done, good for you

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44:01Romesh Ranganathan:okay should we do some emails my guy let's do it yeah hopefully not a really harsh one that'd be awful okay um this is from the fabulous frenchie uh dear wolf and al i just wanted to send some love to tom after hearing your interaction with this prince asim person i've never fucking heard of him before and i absolutely want nothing to do with him but i know and love who you are tom sure you can be a bit thirsty occasionally but you're a kind outgoing dynamic person which is why i love you how hard would have been to show a bit of kindness and respect instead of him and his entourage laughing and whispering like a bunch of high school twats that's a reflection of who he is brother keep being you son you're the kind of person i respect and enjoy hearing from love both you sweet souls that's nice isn't it that's very nice yeah that's very kind very lovely

44:51Romesh Ranganathan:a lot of this is addressed to you by the way this is a slight downside this is what I worry about because I've had a bit of a meltdown I was in a very low space you didn't have a meltdown I was very down about things people are reaching out and supporting you it's beautiful would I like some emails to be addressed to me as well sure I think there might be a chance Am I out here putting myself out in the firing line as well? You've doubled down on the twat zone. Do I regret behaving last week like I was one of Prince Nesee's entourage? Sure. Sure. Sure, absolutely, 100%. But here we are. OK. Hi, Wolfenau.

45:35Romesh Ranganathan:I recently saw Tom at Ludlow Castle. I'm from the local area, and it was amazing to see so many amazing people there to lighten Ludlow up with laughter. That's a lot of alliteration there. Well done. unfortunately we experienced poor weather with thunder and lightning stopping the show it's a crazy old turn of events but wow did the comedians including the amazing wolf still give us a great time look at this tom what a review my question is have you experienced any other gigs such as this and if so are they crazy or did you manage to recover thank you for both filling me with so much happiness over the years the golden wolf oh my god that's quite a big name um right tomo what happened at the Ludlow gig?

46:12Ludlow was number one I didn't know the size of Ludlow until I arrived it was very daunting but I arrived just as I think Ivo Graham was on stage and they evacuated the whole event due to shout out Ivo Graham, incredible comedian, really good comedian, really good

46:27Romesh Ranganathan:one of the best in the game and they evacuated the whole of the event because of lightning and thunderstorms coming very clear me to the castle so um if you you must have had that thing where you're sort of arriving and it's a weird thing isn't it even like at the level we're at you you're sort of and you're turning up to you know you ludlow's quite a schlep shall we say but you're turning up and you are then you're you're what's your mindset right so so if i'm doing a gig it doesn't you know i i have to get myself in a certain mindset i'm going through the material i'm very I get myself into a very like a state of like I'm looking forward to it I'm going to you know nervous anxiety whatever but we're going to it's going to you know I need to get myself into an elevated place where you know going back to this fucking other show but you know and then all of a sudden you're essentially getting a text saying oh this might not happen we might have to cancel the event I imagine you're elated right no because I was I was looking forward to it but also you're right I was also I also then find myself in a really like weird position of like do I stay into the into this mindset that I'm going on stage or do I start relaxing a bit and then everyone else you know great group you know green room is a fun green room to be in can I say Clinton Clinton Baptiste was on that night yeah right oh my god brilliant right fuck if you haven't been to see Clinton Baptiste it's fucking incredible it's amazing the guy he was in the first thing I ever wrote the guy who plays I don't know if you're Alex Lowe but he's an amazing actor he was in the first thing I ever wrote 15 odd years ago I did a thing called Wormat Guy and he was in The Taste We Did should we talk about him rather than you sort of reframing this to talk about how talented you are no this is about him and what a lovely man he is here we go fucking slippy old troll on the fucking cliff of those troll nails

48:26Romesh Ranganathan:he keeps telling stories in the podcast but it's all about him I think he's really slow he's no one you snipe he's talking about Clinton Baptiste he's talking about his script he wrote 15 years ago yeah go on so Alex did that as a bit of a favour but anyway so I've known him for a number of years I hadn't seen Clinton Baptiste for a while always in fact but I came off as you know you come off stage you know adrenaline's pumping he came on uh and watching him work that out like an outdoor crowd it was like fucking phenomenal it was like he's on tour I think from I think for September maybe yeah um I think I think I'm right in saying his support act is a guy called Mike Cox uh who's another brilliant comedian so I'm the whole night's going to be great if you go yeah anyway so but that was that was probably the first time I've ever been in a situation where I've been in situations where not enough tickets have been sold you've turned up at an event I've been in that quite a lot and they might have to pull a show I don't think I've ever been in a situation where like rain stops play and more and more acts are now turning up and no one's really got an idea as if we're going on or not it was quite I've got the slight issue of like I do love stand up it's my favourite thing to do but I I don't love doing it as much as I do it being cancelled.

49:52Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, that's like the ultimate, isn't it? I think I've turned up at a festival gig once and they were overrunning and they said, can you do like five instead of 15 that we booked you for? I was like, yeah, 100%. Wow. I'd be so terrified. It's the same payment and you're asking to do less work. But I put so much, I sit there and think about exactly what I, a version of stories, so I put them in an order And then I'm like... No, I get that. I arguably would say, by the way, can I say, I think five minutes of stand-up is the hardest. It is hard. It is hard. I had to do that audition at the Comedy Store, not Comedy Store, at the Comedy Cellar in New York, where I auditioned for them, and you had to do five minutes.

50:35Romesh Ranganathan:And they're treating you like an unknown. So it's not like you're going on doing five minutes as Romesh Ranganathan in the UK. You're doing five minutes as some random guy. Do you know what I mean? So you're doing an introductory five minutes. so I did find that quite tough. Yeah, if I've ever got to go back and do five, ten minutes now. I've been on my way to a gig and then it started to snow quite heavily and then it became clear I wasn't going to make it because the roads were all getting closed down. That was probably one of my favourite gigs I've ever had. Let's just turn around and come home.

51:06Romesh Ranganathan:That's probably up there. If somebody's asked me my favourite ever gigs of all time, that's definitely in the top five, I'd say. I think if it's cancelled, cancelled, then fair enough. But when you get there, I get it. you get they're not knowing but also they're not knowing they're not knowing they're sitting of like you know you're like it's this guy and also four and a half thousand people is is one of the biggest crowds i've i've ever played like there's a part of me that you know in an outdoor event where you're like oh this is this is quite a big you know so i i have to be in a certain state of mind for that and i was the anxiety that's going through me of like i still worry about going out it's hitting your first joke and everyone just going oh that's a big old motzo ball to week when uh when you're looking at uh four and a half thousand people and you're dying are you trying to break the american market just out of interest i heard that the other day on the film yeah yeah i really liked it and you just started talking about america so yeah as americans listening i'm dual lingo i was doing a gig at leicester comedy festival actually i've got two stories about leicester comedy festival one of them was i was in the middle gig and they just had a power cut at the venue so the mic the pa went off and all the lights went off in the venue so somebody in the audience lent me their bike light and then I just did the gig without a mic and sort of lit myself like a Blair Witch project for the rest of the gig.

52:23Romesh Ranganathan:That was quite fun. I bet you got to manage out the old Blair Witch stuff. You used to have quite a lot of Blair Witch stuff. I don't think I said it. No, I didn't. Why did you? Oh, it looks like both of us have got a little nail file for the claws.

52:37And then I did... Oh, fucking hell. Anyone seen Blair Witch? Yeah, about 10 years ago, mate. oh okay

52:50Romesh Ranganathan:it is bad isn't it when you've got a bit of material and you think like this this is so old it's so dated yeah there's the worst is like when i mean i've not done this i don't think i've well i mean my problem is i get so bored of my material so quickly i end up like hating it but um you know like people it's something you've come across some people that have got like they do a joke about their kids just sort of turning two and they're at uni now um the kids on the circuit now um uh but the other thing that happened in leicester is once i was trying out an hour of new material and it wasn't going very well i just sort of work from work in progress and midway through somebody just went why don't you just do some of your old stuff they sounded so defeated it's horrible anyone seen Blair Witch stuff has anyone got a bike light it was funny with a bike light he's actually better when the mic's off weirdly make that your whole Edinburgh show yeah like have a faux power cut halfway through Ramesh Ranganathan bike like just trying to create an Edinburgh moment every night Oh, fucking hell.

54:00Romesh Ranganathan:I can't believe this happened again. You must have expected it. You sent Lisa out to pull the fuse box. Lisa just turns off the light and you pretend to be like, hello, hello? Oh, for crying out loud. Oh, I'm sorry, Comedy Barn. I'm going to have to speak like this. Has anyone got a bite like? I've got one. Thanks, random lady. Isn't that his life? This is, honestly, this really is an edible experience, isn't it? This is live comedy, people. We were here last week, mate. The same thing happened. Fuck off. Just let me have my moment. OK,

54:37Romesh Ranganathan:let's do one more email. Dear Rom and Tom, my husband took early retirement from a job in London. He's now home 24-7 at our house in Devon. We've been married nearly four years, both in our late 40s. We have no kids. Instead of seeing him on weekends, I see him every day when he comes downstairs, plants his fat ass on the sofa and proceeds to watch sport for eight to ten hours while I manage the house, cook, care for our three dogs, ddiy guarding etc he will help with some things only if asked but otherwise we'll literally rot away on the couch all day our backgrounds are different i'm from texas the daughter of a poor but hard-working folks whereas he grew up a grammar school boy the spoiled child of overprotective and dramatic mother and middle class father who never taught him man skills i've had to speak to him several times about the importance of showering daily he's often gone a week or two without showering he's a heavyset person as am i and i know he hates his body but he won't do anything about it i'm out of ideas at this point when i've broached the subject before excuse for this lifestyle is i'm just lazy he ensures me he's not depressed just lazy separate bedrooms thank god i do appreciate my husband especially rescuing me from the us and bringing me to the uk where i love the people the weather the nhs etc i can't help feeling resentment and yes actually a teensy bit of disgust at the sight of him every day and i don't know if that's normal for married people i'm older and smart enough to know you can't change other people that can only change yourself can you think of any coping strategy or perspectives that i can try i don't believe in nagging or shaming as i don't think it's kind but honestly i'm on my wits end i don't want to put a true prime podcaster please give me advice you two are absolute magic by the way tom's warmth and rom's humor are beautiful things to see thank you for putting so much love out into the world tom what's your take on this this is quite tricky i think it's a very tricky one um i i think it's you're right in saying um you can't change anyone people have got to take their own initiative and sort of change themselves i think also like i think until someone gets to a point when they have to sort of you know make a change to do so i mean look you know it's very hard because your your email whilst being very heartfelt is also it's very hard to decipher what you're saying and as is there anything you're saying in a sort of like little bit of jest of like exaggeration or is this, you know, or do we take it face on?

56:49Because actually, you know, if you take it that way, it feels like you're sort of in a place where neither of you seem that happy. And actually, I think when you get to a point and, you know, me and Catherine have had those times in our relationship where one of us has had to sit down to the other and discuss, you know, for the majority of times from Catherine's point of view, but, you know, stuff that's annoying you with the other person. And I think actually having those conversations in a marriage or any sort of relationship is very, very important to always try to be as open as you can. But also, number one, not make the person feel bad.

57:26I think that's a very important thing. But also make sure it comes from a place where you're not addressing, you know, that there's a problem with them. it's almost just taking it from your side and saying you sort of feel overlooked or you feel like you're doing a lot of the the work in making a relationship tick from day to day and I think it's you know we've had couples therapy it's very interesting you have couples therapy on the basis that being quite open and just about is that you realize the difference at times between men and women and and how important conversation is between two people in in as a couple like that men given a certain scope will become very, you know, like your husband is at the moment.

58:11And, you know, depression and mental health and things that we've talked about on this podcast before. And, you know, I've made a bit of light of it and I joke about it. But, you know, I go back and look at how I felt. Certainly pre-Grace, I was in a very depressed place. And because of a number of reasons that I've talked about on this podcast. and a part of that coping mechanism was food and drink and whatever and not really sort of taking care of myself and not being the best version of myself as a husband as well involved in that. That then has a knock-on. And I think saying stuff that could trigger him to feel low about himself because you're saying stuff that is a bit mean or can feel a little bit ill-spirited, whereas actually if you just say this is how i feel this is how you and your behavior at the moment is making me feel i think that's probably the way to go and i hope genuinely that you both find some sort of resolution and i i send you goodwill because you seem like a sweet soul in

59:11Romesh Ranganathan:a bit of a rut uh great advice tom as always you you're you know one of the top guys in the game um two main things that sort of strike me from this email is uh and bearing in mind we're idiots sorry I'm an idiot Tom is an idiot's friend but I think he's easy with the troll in here by the way he's displaying all the hallmarks of depression to be honest with you and I know he's saying that he's not depressed but if you're not washing for weeks at a time and you're just sitting in front of the TV and not doing anything you are not engaging in the very basic levels of self care that you should have if you're sort of mentally in the right place do you mean if you sort of think about i think about when i'm in a good place mentally i'm exercising i'm like choosing my outfits carefully i'm like looking at my hair am i doing it right you know all these things that you know staying hydrated sleeping well looking after yourself these are all things that you're in a good place and whenever i look at the times when i'm not in a good place mentally i'm not giving a shit do you know i mean i'm sort of just putting on whatever and i'm heading out and you know whatever like i'm not even heading out you know and so i know he's saying he's not depressed but it sounds like he might be so i think it's worth having a chat if he's not if he's genuinely not depressed and he is just being lazy then and either way this is true it can't carry on like that i mean he you're doing everything and he's it sounds like he's doing nothing you need to get him into a and when i say you need to get him into i mean in a supportive way and in a way where you're both working together you need to get him into a place where you he is doing more and you are feeling sufficiently supported in your home situation because this is not sustainable this this you know you've got to take steps to make your life good or to be content do you know what I mean so something needs to change the other thing I would say and this is as worrying is and I know you're joking for comic effect but it doesn't sound like at the moment you like him very much you know like the language you're using i'm not this i'm not saying this in a judgmental way but even if i was really angry with lisa i would never talk to about her in the way that you've spoken about your partner and that to me suggests like that you are in a really bad place with him and that needs addressing i think you need to kind of uh in my opinion you need to sort of find the love again you know and so um i know that this is often our advice for stuff like this but it needs a conversation and i think actually tom mentioned couples therapy i reckon that's probably a good suggestion for the two of you because it feels like you do resent him and that you know even the things like where you talk about what his background is you're sort of resenting where he's come from in his upbringing that's created this person that you are getting pissed off with and really you need to ideally get yourself into a position where both of you are looking at each other and seeing the good things about each other rather than seeing or the bad things about each other.

1:02:16Romesh Ranganathan:And I think that needs fixing for both your sakes, really. And I guess, like, finally, I do feel for you. It sounds like you're in a really bad place. It sounds like both of you are in quite a bad place. So I think you need to talk about it. And I would go further than that and say you need to talk to somebody else about it because it feels like this is untenable, this situation. And he needs to do... There's some work he needs to do at sort of getting himself out of this funk. and you, well, neither of you need to do anything, but I think it would be great if you could find a place where you weren't feeling about him the way that you are feeling about him.

1:02:52Romesh Ranganathan:And that's going to take a change from both of you, in my opinion. But remember, disclaimer, I'm an idiot.

1:03:02Romesh Ranganathan:OK, that takes us to time, I believe, Tom. You're a star today. Could you please do us the honour? have taken us at this too. Galleries. Piece of art on the wall. A painting from decades, nay, centuries ago. It's easy to walk past and miss the brushstrokes. An individual hand that just works its way across the canvas. At the time of painting, did they know it was going to be a work of art? No one truly knows. What would gain other people's perspective? but the truth is you don't have to go to the gallery to see a piece of art mother nature's everywhere an idle tree that has stood for decades nay centuries most like the paintings I aforementioned but actually art can be even more simple it can be in the laughter of a child or a dog running across a park to find a stick its owner's throne it can be at two people holding hands, new love, old love, love rekindled.

1:04:08See, it's how you see the world and how you address the situation in which you're in. Sometimes even on the cloudiest day, it's hard to see the sun, my friend, because the clouds are in the way. But clouds aren't always clouds, and actual clouds, like rain in the sky. Clouds can sometimes be in your eyes, your own inner clouds clouds that go across your mind see sometimes even when the sun's out it's hard to see it sometimes when the dogs run across to get the stick you're not thinking about the dog enjoying himself you're thinking stupid dog perception perception visualization and mindset three important things we all see the world differently but i ask you this friends as summer holidays start and the sun shines more and more each day.

1:05:00Try as you might to let the clouds of your mind dissolve and see for the world for what it is. At times, it's a pretty special place.

1:05:11Romesh Ranganathan:Really nice, Thomas. I'm actually very, very useful advice tucked in there with the dog stuff. JC. I'm so glad you're doing this as well I got a lot of bite back from mine you're so much better no I'm not no no no you made it like I was angry last week I wasn't angry at all but full disclosure you say these tracks you say unknown artists I've not heard of I then go and listen to them my music taste becomes more eclectic so bravo sir it's not an easy trip on which you're, you know, you're like a tour guide on one of those open buses in London. You put me under a bit of pressure here because you've said an artist that nobody's heard of, but everyone's heard of this artist that I'm about to recommend.

1:05:58Romesh Ranganathan:So Tyler, the creator, has brought out a new album called Don't Tap the Glass, which is kind of his, what he said about it is it's like more of a fun record as opposed to Chromacopia that you brought out less than, I think less than a year ago, which is a much more serious kind of introspective thing. This is a bit more fun. and JT could you play Big Poe which features Pharrell Williams off this album it's been a bit divisive this album some people are saying it's not as good they don't like it I think it's great so do check it out Don't Tap the Glass Tyler the Creator but this song's Big Poe thank you so much for listening to the podcast guys oh by the way Dublin and Belfast tickets still available yeah I mean look we are staring down the barrel here of flying out to Dublin and Belfast to do podcasts in order to sell these tickets that's where we're at now We were having to run a paid ad on Instagram.

1:06:47Yeah. So. I mean, we also, there's a good chance that Dublin and Belfast might just become a bit of a jolly.

1:06:53Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Which is, there's no better place to be. No, absolutely. But it's looking very seriously like we're going to run at a loss on those shows. So anyway, that's not your problem. We'll see you next time, guys. Take care of yourselves. Big love. God bless. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Burn me shit down. Turn me shit up. I don't consent. I don't get fucked. You're my dick, nigga, get up. Wipe your lips off while I zip up. I'm a sick cup, girl, I'm nasty. Eat the cream pie in the back of the backseat. Little diamonds, black skin, I'm taxi. You can run all you want, nigga. You can't catch me, big hoe. Nigga, I'm big hoe.

1:07:30Nigga, I'm big hoe. Nigga, bitch, I'm big hoe. Slim.

1:07:43Romesh Ranganathan:If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you. I didn't like what you said, Odin pauses, about the future. This is the love story of real hinge couple Odin and Edward, written and read by me, Curtis Garner. Listen to the free audiobook now.

1:08:18I'm not giving up. I am selling the building. The final season of FX is the bear. The restaurant is flooded. Everything's either going to be okay. No, stop.

1:08:33Romesh Ranganathan:Or not. We are outgunned and we are outmanned. We have each other.