S4 Ep 33: The Summer Holiday Edition

26:48Romesh Ranganathan:sorting out this recording, but listen, as long as you are getting that sweet, sweet me time. No, in all seriousness, I think it's a great thing to do. Really good. What's the time with the boys? I mean, you've had a lot of time with them because you've had you obviously got three holidays somewhere now so well we so it's like it was charlie and it's been charlie and theo's birthdays in the last week nice so theo and charlie we did for each of them we did a day out with them if that makes sense so we organized a little day for them so charlie we went to this place called gravity max and we did like a bit of that it's like a game it's like three floors and they've got arcades then they've got this mini golf then they've got go-karting they've got all these bits so he booked up to do loads of it um during the go-kart and i want to get i need to give a shout out to a big wolf and our fan uh andy who told me that um he was on the same race as us so it was it was lisa theo didn't come it was lisa charlie me and alex and then this this guy andy and his son and uh andy apparently andy started the race and uh saw lisa saw our names and then got so distracted because he's a Wolf and Al fan that he crashed into a barrier.

28:06Romesh Ranganathan:But he's a massive Wolf and Al fan. So we did that. And then the next day we did like a little, we did a big day out for Theo. We took him for a little Arsenal tour, clothes shopping, went to see a show. So yeah, it was very, very nice. What show did you see? Hadestown. Very nice. The musical about Hades, actually, surprisingly enough. uh but it's already good like really nice quality time i do think um the well a couple of uh a couple of awkward things have happened you know in sort of in keeping with me thinking i'm a cool parent and i'm not a cool parent um so the first thing is we we flew out to here and with easy jet right so do you know like when you do the bag drop so you do you put the bag on the on the conveyor then it prints out the tag then you stick the tag to the thing then you go send the bag, right?

29:02Romesh Ranganathan:So we had a few suitcases, obviously. It's really busy, right? Early morning flight, really rammed. Lisa is like passing the case to me and then I'm doing all the admin stuff. For some reason... So you've got yourself a vibe. Yeah, we've got ourselves a division of labour production line, right? Yeah. As I'm doing the tag for the last case, Lisa decides to help. And she pushes send bag while I'm attaching the tag to the bag, right? So it's sufficiently attached for it to sort of slightly take me... Oh, no! Slightly take me with it. And then I go...

29:44Romesh Ranganathan:It's so embarrassing. Like, it's so embarrassing when you realise who you really are. So everything I do is fake, right? I pretend you're trying to be this nonchalant kind of cool, funny guy. And then something like that happens and you show your true colours. So I'm trying to attach the tag to the suitcase. Lisa press send. By the way, the decision to press send, I'm still not 100 % convinced it wasn't deliberate. Yeah, I think with Lisa. I know Lisa sent the key. She's got a bit of a snide little vibe about her, Lisa. So much so... Lisa's got... I think Lisa's got wolf tendencies. Yeah, she definitely...

30:26Romesh Ranganathan:100 % got wolf tendencies. Anyway, I go... I slightly go with the things I'm trying to touch the tag. Did you let out an eek? I went like this. No! I went like this. No, it's worse, Tom. I went... Oh, no. Lisa! Lisa! Like that. Oh, no! Like the duff... Before the duff duffs are the EastEnders. Lisa! Lisa! Lisa! Lisa! Oh, mate. Well, how loud? Loud. First one was Lisa. So they go, Lisa! But there's nothing she can do. Once you press send, you've sent it. Do you know what I mean? So I just had to sort of really quickly seal the tag, like stick the tag as a bag as well. Can I just ask one? Because this is embarrassing.

31:11If the next part of this story goes like this, I will truly, I will adore you, Bill. It's the muggiest thing ever. Did you then show off to Lisa and the boys on the fact that as the bag was sent, you somehow managed to get the tag on it like you were a fucking superhero.

31:26Romesh Ranganathan:It is sort of similar to that. Do you know, like, it's not sort of bragging, but I sort of went, oh, God.

31:37Romesh Ranganathan:I think I said something like, God, if I hadn't got that tag on properly, God knows where that suitcase would have ended up. That's even worse. Yeah, Theo, you owe me one, mate. You owe me one, mate. All those nice new clothes we brought. I could have ended up anywhere, mate. That should be fine. That should be fine. Can't get Gordon Ramsay's breakfast, eh? Pretty confident that'll be heading right to where we're going. I am not going to be having any nerves at the old conveyor. And I'll tell you what that is. That tag is sealed on. I imagine at the other end we're going to struggle to get it off because it's so well glued.

32:15Romesh Ranganathan:Despite your mother, who I will be talking to. Lisa, just a bit little of everything. You send the bag once the tag is attached. Ramesh, go fuck yourself. I've had to spend four weeks with you. I don't know what the deal is with this. She's a pretty one, not the sharpest. Am I right, boys? Lisa just headbutts you in the fucking middle of Gatwick.

32:40Romesh Ranganathan:Anyway, we've been half an hour into this and we have not dealt with the elephant in the room, which is... Hold on, do you know what I'm about to talk about? Yeah, I think so. I hope so, yeah. I like to think I've got a sort of clutch on where your mind is at. So, yeah, I think go forth, go out, go, go. Well, I want to talk about the endings for last week's podcast. So, firstly, my laptop is now fixed, by the way. I've managed to get it fixed. I thought I was going to have to buy a brand new one, but I've had it sorted. The laptop went down. And I remember what I was about to say when the laptop went down.

33:17Romesh Ranganathan:and I would like to bring it up in a minute. Go, go, go. But forget all of that. I had a lot of messages saying it's the best ending to a podcast we've ever had. And now, on the one hand, delightful. I'm delighted that we managed to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. On the other hand, if I was to sort of allow any of my ego to slip in, a lot of people are saying it's the best ending to the podcast we've ever had. It is the only ending to the podcast that doesn't feature me. But it sort of featured you. Yeah, but I mean, look, the truth of it is, is I'm going to have to start slowly coming to the acceptance.

33:55Romesh Ranganathan:And I'm kind of fine with this. I've done some sort of meditating and ruminating on it, that this podcast might be better without me. And that is... You're a massive part of it. I need something to bounce off, even if it's just me doing your voice. Oh, God. It's so horrible to know exactly what you're doing. i've had to record that twice because i felt i felt it the first time i felt like it felt very eggy i wasn't very sure if it was how i was literally just uh i was freaking out by the way you'll be incredibly needy about it because what happened was is i stuck up a story going tom ending this podcast uh was absolutely incredible something like that tom tom ending this podcast without me is absolutely incredible i can't remember what exact words he is and then seconds later, I get, this is what I get a text.

34:49Romesh Ranganathan:It's such a, off the back of me saying that, by the way, do you think that ending was okay, bro? Let me tell you what's happened there, is I've gone, Tom's looked at it and he's seen me going that ending was, it was excellent or whatever, and he's gone, I'd love to find out exactly why he thinks it's excellent. Let me Let me send up a following text so he can tell me all of his favourite things about what I did. That's what happened there, isn't it?

35:27I want to be told exactly why I'm so funny and good.

35:38That is my favourite version of me that you've ever done. that is genius um

35:48um

35:55holy shit did you get many people reach out because what I love everyone seemed to come together um everyone seemed to come together to sort of pray and send you best wishes yeah that was horrific

36:05Romesh Ranganathan:my DMs were like loads of people going Romesh uh thoughts and prayers for you and your laptop, hoping you come through it, hoping that you're able to do it. Actually, a lot of them were delivering it in like, obviously the intention was to take the, not take the piss, but like was, was jokey. But actually a lot of what people said was quite sweet in the end. People, the animal pack is sweet. Yeah, lovely. The sweets and souls. Lovely, really. Beautiful. So when I did that, but I had no idea if you, shout out you, to be fair, man, you were a cover to file. that was fucking epic work and then JT very tricky JT put the whole thing together in a really beautiful way so really good teamwork across the really great well yeah really great teamwork JT the Wolf and the Al collaborating to deliver you were almost like a substandard you would have said it back just delivering the ball JT was a sort of creative midfielder do you know what I feel like I feel like it was like Champions League final I get taken off 10 minutes before the end and that's when we score all our goals and so I get to me and JT yeah me and JT up front yeah I get to I sort of I get to I get to sort of be at the the trophy lift but everyone's sort of going it was kind of it sort of was better after he went really wasn't it do you know what I mean in terms of I think Fernando Torres had that for Spain one year when they they sort of took off a strike and everyone thought that would be the end and then they put on sort of if you're a footballer and your team wins like that there is part of you that's gutted, right?

37:38Romesh Ranganathan:There must be. Of course there is. I know they love to say in the interviews it's all about the team and all that shit, but like, you know, they've got individual egos, haven't they? They're not putting the team. Yeah. Can I say by the way, and I hate going to, number one, shout out to everyone who's got involved in the FPL. Shout out Romesh actually putting the FPL back together again. He'll lose interest within three games. Well, I had to cling onto something because I'm not even actually required on the actual fucking podcast itself anymore. So I had to do something. I'm now a fucking admin monkey.

38:06Now listen, I know I'm not good on the endings but I have managed to put together a fantasy Premier League code Please don't get rid of me Please do my voice responding to that I can't even have the voice on That's so good So tell me again why they thought I was so excellent

38:31Romesh Ranganathan:Don't be silly, Wabash you are, it's good that you did the FPL. I'm sorry that a lot of people were messaging. What exactly sort of things were they messaging in about how good my ending was? Was it when I did my voice, or was it just like when I did the closing thoughts and wrapped everything up and brought everything from the episode together? Oh, I don't know. They just said you're excellent, Tom, all right? Yeah, but what actual, like, how did they say I was excellent? What in the way did they say it was that I was good? Did they say I was clever? Yeah, they said you were clever and funnier and funnier than me, right?

39:15Thank you for listening.

39:21Anyway, the big thing was you ended actually in quite a dramatic fashion. You were going to read an email. There was something you were going to say to everyone.

39:29Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, no, because, you know, we constantly talk about, whenever we talk about football, we apologise for it, right, because it's not a football podcast. And obviously there is another version of this podcast where you and I, we're both, like, we could both go in on football for ages, right? But somebody got in touch to, not to criticise, when I say criticise, I don't mean criticise. They just said they were surprised that we hadn't mentioned the Lionesses and their victory at the Euros. so that's what I was about to talk about when I got cut off on the thing so we do look we are I'd hate for you to think that we are of this subsection of men that do not support the Lionesses congratulations to the whole team it was an amazing watch the final with the family at home I don't know where you watched it but it was amazing it was great congratulations I said this the last time day one that yeah we watched it with Grace and sitting there with Lil G watching that and yeah like Chloe Kelly is maybe now my favourite footballer I think she's just ice cold she's fucking cool as fuck I know shout out Chloe Kelly we had her on for the love of hip hop actually and she was doing the 10 minute mixtape she was great I'm a big fan and also like I did a video I think we talked about the video I did a video about men complaining about women's football and just like if you don't like it don't watch it it was the gist of it and mate there are some people out there for whom women's football it's hit I can't even explain how angry these people get it's wild do you know what I mean people first of all complaining like going it's shoved down my throat I don't want to see it it's shit while I'm having to watch it and then accusing me of just doing the post because I want to look good in front of women or whatever do you know what I mean but it's like there are some men that are so triggered by women's football it's like it's it's yeah but if it wasn't that it'd be something else I know listen like the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros the Euros Papa.

41:50Romesh Ranganathan:You know what? You know, you've got to keep yourself occupied throughout the year, haven't you? Anyway, I said, I made this joke. The worst thing they can think of is actually going and bettering themselves. It's blaming everyone else for their fucking, the shit that was going on in their life. You know what? Life would be so much easier if the women weren't fucking good at shit. Life was better, wasn't it? When we had control of everything. Yeah, and I don't understand it. They're still showing all the men's football that they were before, but now they're showing women's football as well. I feel attacked.

42:18Romesh Ranganathan:Everyone else is to blame for the fact I'm such an ignorant c**t. If anything, there's more men's football on than there's ever been before. But I'm still angry. Which is literally true, by the way. Yeah. They're showing more games than they ever have done before. But also, it's like, do you know what I can't stand, right? I can't get it for the life of me, don't understand that. Women. Gardening programs. Oh, no, sorry. Gardening programs. Gardening. Right. Gardening programs. Don't understand them. don't get them. Do you know what I do? I just don't fucking watch them. They're not involved in my ether.

42:52I'm not involved in theirs. They can go on an Alan Titch mask and have a great career. Why the fuck do they keep banging on about herbs?

43:00Romesh Ranganathan:I don't give a shit about herbs. Okay? You just don't watch it, right? Just fucking knocking on... I don't give a fuck about what flowers look good in a bed. Fuck off flowers. Shut the fuck up about tomato, you fucking wanker. It's everything that's wrong with this fucking country. Anyway. as we were doing this rant I recall I saw a Spotify review saying stay off the politics lads you're going to lose listeners quickly so can those people can I just say to those that were upset by what we just did peace out yeah thank you take care Take care.

44:05Thursday fits handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Crocs store today. Tomorrow morning is knocking. Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha frappuccino drink?

44:17Romesh Ranganathan:Or a sweet vanilla? Smooth caramel, maybe. Or a white chocolate mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was. the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook.

45:02Romesh Ranganathan:Right, should we do some emails? Yeah, see it, my G. Shall we do some emails, my G? Okay. Hi, Wolf for now. I love both you guys. This is bad. I mean, I've not read this. I love both you guys. I love the podcast. Please, please don't take this as an attack. Oh, no. Oh, God. So just think it's a really big discussion point that needs addressing more. Tom's story of the smash phone did make me laugh, and he told it beautifully. There you go. Well done, Tom, on that. Thank you. However, me and my wife find it mad that parents are still giving their children devices. this isn't a parental attack as i never judge people's parenting skills every child and parent are different way to just say you found it mad but okay however it seems that we're the only parents that aren't giving our children devices when we're out we take in what's around us and involve these the kids in the surrounding environment or if we rarely go to eat somewhere we take coloring or stickers or chat talk and play i spy etc i just find it incredibly worrying how children on devices from so young and becoming zombies and losing creativity and play.

46:04Romesh Ranganathan:In my opinion, kids have no need for devices until they're 16. If they need it for work, et cetera, they'll pick it up pretty quickly at 16. Do either of you find it worrying that she threw the phone because she was getting angry or agitated with whatever she's watching? Also, YouTube Kids is one of the most dangerous things for kids to watch. Some bad stuff on there and dodgy adverts. Sounds like Rom's children have had devices from young too. just feel like it's becoming the normal and is linked with so many mental health issues for kids it's like giving your kids a packet of fags when they turn eight this is said with love and care and concern not an attack love you both one love the dragon now before you get into this advice on this tom before you get into this i know that whenever somebody talks about your parenting i mean this generally i'm talking about you specifically you do feel you there's a tendency to feel got at.

46:50Romesh Ranganathan:So let's not feel got at here. Oh, no, no, no. Let's address it. Yeah, so for number one, on the pack of fags thing, we did give Grace a pack of fags for her to have when we first got here on holiday. And we said they were going to last for the whole 10 days. And she'd smoke them all by the first morning. That is classic, Jay. Yeah. But now I said to her, look, you smoke your 20 Bentsons already. You don't have them for the rest of the holiday. I mean, on a more serious note, Dragon, um um that it's a very difficult there's a part of me that so on the basis that grace did that as much as you know i made light of it i tell the story that i tell there was a there's there has been for a while as a part of us with grace going that actually you can notice a difference when she's had too much screen time or she's had too much time on a device so we were like you know if i'm honest with you we were coming back at that time that there's a few different things going on and we'd given her the phone just because we'd been out for like we'd been out for a walk and we'd been out we'd had to go to the doctors and we'd had quite a lot going on that morning and she'd been really really good and we're on the walk home we were like look here's do you know what I mean you know and had a device all morning we've been to the weather so but also her behavior with it and her behavior when she has screen time is noticeably different and I do then think like so for example from there we're like we're going to cut this right back even down to the point of her sleeping you know her just just how her behavior in general she has too much or as you say with you even with youtube kids or youtube she can end up watching something that she shouldn't or watching stuff that's too old for her and picking up behavioral traits that aren't great so there's there's there's stuff there where we're like very conscious of uh and like now we've put age restrictions on our youtube we've hidden youtube so she can't find it on the phone so like now she's going to sit and watch screen time it's like we'll sit you'll sit and watch something with a story disney whatever and then we'll really really cut that back into a very small amount of time but when it cut i think when it there is also something to be like for example since we've been out there here out here we've been at home for a few days the week leading to it i think she had noticed that i think she was having like 15 minutes in the morning 15 minutes at the evening of screen time watching julia donaldson cartoon in the late afternoon to sort of wind down a bit and then when we've when we've been out here it's just been none it's just been playing with other kids playing in the pool whatever and you do notice that she's a lot more chatty a lot more conversation and she's not asking for screen time if it's not there so i do agree with you but i also think there are times when you are out for for a meal and you have she's she will you know it's always a lot last result we'll go out we'll bring colouring books we'll bring toys but you know if you're out and you're having a meal together and then she's getting more bored if you stay i don't i i personally think sticking on a cartoon for 20 minutes or 15 minutes at the end of a meal or at time where she's just relaxing and sitting there quite quietly it's quite a nice day i think we've been out quite a bit and been to places where she's not doing that and then she starts to get quite noisy and you see other tables complaining or getting annoyed with us so sometimes it's a thing of her just sitting but i i do agree i think there is a problem i certainly as a dad and as me and katherine have had long discussions with this no it's a massive difference in in her behavior when she does have screen time so it's something where you go okay look you can see that it's clearly linked so we've cut that right back um so i do take your i don't know if i'd say criticism but your observations um um yeah i take them on and again it's something i will say as well as a parent you are constantly learning how like there's no guide to this i can listen to 10 different people have got 10 you're trying to do the best you can in any given moment there's times when they're a godsend and there's a tablet for 15 20 minutes where something else is happening and then i do also realize the the distractions.

51:02As someone who suffers with ADHD and whatever, I can see that it can be something that can fuzzle the brain. But I'm constantly making mistakes as a dad and hopefully learning from them. So thank you very much for your email. I take it all on board and send you much love.

51:21Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, really good, Tom. I guess my response to the dragon is, who the fuck do you think you are, man? Huh? Who did? No, I'm joking. I'm joking. I think you're probably right. I think that screen time is bad. And I think that it's very tempting to just fall back on it as a parenting substitute. But the truth is, sometimes it's really useful. You know, if, if you're, you know, I just think it's dependent on circumstances and everybody has their, their own way of dealing with it. And with regards to the sort of the effects on whether you should let your children onto screens when they're 16 or whatever, I think probably we're in a situation where we don't know what the best strategy is.

52:01Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, the thing that I think from what I've read about it and stuff is I find social media for children incredibly dangerous. I find them being connected to their friends, even when they're at home, incredibly dangerous. You sort of think about when kids are at home, the house is supposed to be a safe space for them. You know, they're in a building where everybody loves them and they're supported. And then if they've got a phone, it's sort of like this intruder that's letting other stuff come in from outside. And I don't think that's a positive thing. So the truth is, Dragon, I think you're probably right.

52:38Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, we try and limit it. I think kids are getting too used to whatever they want to see being in front of them straight away. And I think there is a value in kids being bored. there's a value in kids doing stuff that isn't like sensory overload that you know and we try and do that as much as we can with our kids but we're definitely not getting it right you know and um we're just trying you know and i'm sure even this morning i've done three things that one of our kids will be talking to a therapist about at some point in the future it's just difficult isn't it um but thank you for your email uh i think you've probably got some You've probably made some very, very good points.

53:16Romesh Ranganathan:And good for you, parenting your children perfectly. Aren't you great? No, I'm just kidding.

53:24Romesh Ranganathan:Should we do one more? Let's do one more, my prince. Okay. Dear Wolf, the Owl, the Swan, the Cat, I need advice. I've recently started my dream job. Everything was going brilliantly until I crossed paths with her. the guardian of the communal communal what are you saying tom communal communal coffee station the voldemort of sugar the woman who must not be spilled on my second week she cornered me after a morning meeting and frog marched me over to the kitchen area for clarity this would be the second conversation i've ever had with her she's not someone i need to have direct contact with upon arrival at the kitchen area she pointed at three grains of sugar and declared me guilty of crimes against her coffee making station she delivered the lecture with the intensity of a head teacher catching a kid smoking behind the bike sheds here's a twist it wasn't even me i don't even take sugar i was wrongly accused i'm basically the coffee world's answer to the shawshank redemption to make matters worse the day before she'd asked my star sign when i told her she didn't be dead in the eye she said she hates aries women no hesitation no apology just raw unfiltered star sign prejudice now whenever i see her i feel like i'm being watched every cup of tea feels like it's under surveillance and half are expecting to install cctv above the kettle so Here's my question.

54:37Romesh Ranganathan:How do I survive working in an office where one woman controls caffeine supplies with an iron fist? Do I stage a sugar heist? Or should I just surrender and accept my life as a coffee criminal? Yours in fear, the sugary sloth. P.S. I've got tickets for the Brighton show in October. If you don't hear from me by then, it seems to have been taken out by the coffee station mafia. Tom, what do you think? I will worry. Number one, did she say she doesn't take sugar? Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, she hasn't got to worry too much about the sugary threat. I would say this. I used to get very worked up about this kind of thing.

55:12I worked in surroundings. I've worked in a few different trades where you get people who become almost like this sort of, for the Voldemort or for the top of the hierarchy when it came to breaks or whatever. And they'd find themselves having something that they'd zone in on as being like saying they took a men's series that would become and feel quite trivial to to nearly everyone else around and sort of through doing this often quite often become almost a figure of ridicule and i think it's really easy to sort of and i'm not by the way sort of excusing this this person's behavior because they sound on paper like it's it's something that yes that's pretty unhealthy in the way that they're sort of but i usually and i'm probably actually i probably should talk about this in there because it's clearly a very lovely written email it's very funny but actually when whenever you find these things i used to trivialize it used to take the mick out of people i used to do impressions of these people and then you look a little bit deeper and actually quite a lot of the time they're quite often missing something in life and it's something that actually this thing that they that becomes all important to them and for the most part that we trivialize and it's the ongoing search for purpose isn't it yeah yeah yeah and the thing that they do that we all sort of would actually we pour score and we take the mick out of it actually very important and actually when you talk to them and you could push a bit deeper so for example like you know the company i'm at and yeah with our production company we have someone there who who sort of is a little bit like this and at first I sort of found it shout out James to Fred yeah I found it quite amusing and you know and then actually got to know this person talked to him a lot and actually realized that there's a lot going on underneath the bonnet so to speak and actually you know what it's like actually sort of pulling away from coffee or sugar conversation and actually just being you know just being friendly and just having a chat and just trying to normalize them in a place where they sort of that doesn't like where you're breaking down and it's not about coffee and it's not about sugar it's about them and having a conversation about how they are and where they're at and and that takes a bit of time but actually just trying to pull it away from from from them because there's usually like i say the reason that they're doing that is sometimes it's about having some sort of control or some times it's about having some kind of importance but as well i should say it's it's a look for purpose it's a look for for actually people and sometimes it's just to hide away and not have to converse in a normal way or because they feel vulnerable in having a normal normal conversation so i might be throwing this a lot of this stuff at someone who is just this isn't about them but in my experience sometimes um lift the lid be the sweeter soul in a case of sugar ironically yeah ironically if

58:16Romesh Ranganathan:you lift the lid on her you might find some sugar inside you know yeah oh wow you know wow that's a t-shirt proverb yeah let's not let's not i don't want another failing thing that's on my name on the merch website um but uh yeah i think tom's hit the nail on the head really i think it is um obviously it's not great that she's like look the truth i don't want to downplay how embarrassing and humiliating it is when somebody sort of tells you off like that but yeah i would say like i don't think i don't think you want to just like be it's almost because you don't want to sort of be too nice and sort of be piss-takingly nice but like i guess just having a chat with them seeing what she's about and going it's annoying isn't it when even like looking at from her point of view how annoying it must be if the coffee station keeps getting messed about and then maybe you find some common ground.

59:09Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Or, you know, so your own, the other option is if you want to be petty about it, because I did want to give you is set up a rival coffee station with more stuff. You know, we'd like get some syrups in there. Maybe you've got a decaf option. You know, I think that's how Starbucks started. I believe so. I think it is. It's, it's the famous sort of Nero Starbucks Wars of 2003 that you might have read about. Look it up. Great times.

59:40Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. I think that's sort of my answer to that last email. Sorry, suggests that we're petering out creatively. It's probably time to wrap it up. So Tom D. Yeah. I'm sorry, by the way, can I just apologize to listeners for still being on this bit of the podcast. I realized that for a lot of you, you don't like it. I miss you. It's hard to drive this thing home alone, baby. You didn't feel like it. Cause I knew that you thought you were onto something special. from the whatsapps because you were like so jt have you got the uh did you get the ending and did you think it was suitable it would work for it why why do you think that what do you think makes it a perfect ending jt and then jt texas going if it was a really good episode what why what do you think is the actual thing that makes it pushes it over the line in terms of being really Good JT.

1:00:31Romesh Ranganathan:Anyway, go on. Well, Bongo the monkey was worried about a lot of different things. He'd sit in his tree nervously, anxiously, just thinking about storms, the weather, the tree that he was in blowing away, how the world would end up, who was his friends, who wasn't. Did people talk negatively about him? Below in the field, there was Big Stan, the ox. Silly, stupid ox. Bongo used to look down and think. Just shitting and eating grass and sleeping. One day, Bongo climbed down the tree and said, Oi, you, you've got to be the most stupid animal in whatever's worked on the earth, mate. Bongo turned round and said, Oh, do you think so?

1:01:16Bongo said, Yeah, it's like everyone thinks you're a big stupid fool, mate. And Stanley the Ox turned round and said, I don't really care. He said, Why don't you care what people think about you? He said, well, I'm so stupid, usually I forget what people tell me or say about me. And quite often, that makes me feel quite chilled. He said, but don't you worry about other stuff, mate. Don't you worry about, like the wind blowing down the trees, all the fucking grass just being burnt away. Don't you worry about tomorrow. And Stanley says, no. I never really think about tomorrow or yesterday. I just think about now, eating the grass, staying in the present and being happy.

1:02:01Why, you big fool? Maybe you've got it right, Bongo thought. As Bongo lay there that night anxiously worrying about things, he looked down, Stanley, sleeping like a god. And it came to Bongo, worrying about all the things in life, never really made them go away. They were still there, still making him anxious, still ruining his day. and I stand and he snored a deep, deep snore and let it out, almost letting out the problems of the world. Bongo thought, maybe he ain't stupid after all. Maybe that's the thing. Maybe his stupidity is the wisdom I've been looking for. And he looked at the moon and the moon looked down on him.

1:02:47And it glimmered in his eye and he thought, what a pretty moon. just stared for a little while and his eyes became heavy as he just thought about how pretty the moon looked. And before you knew it, Bongo was asleep. And as he let out a snore, his worries leaked out too. Stay well, people.

1:03:11Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, quite a lot to unpack from this. Let's get this out of the way. Clearly that was you and myself. there's a there's there's a couple of things i want to highlight okay first of all um the the insight into your ego there was quite remarkable okay because first of all what you've done is i don't even think i don't even know if you noticed that you did this but you you tried to appear to be self-deprecating by describing the ox as stupid but then at one point you say that Bongo looks across at him and sees him sleeping like a god. That's a direct quote. Okay? That's the first thing I'd say. Second of all, a really high-risk decision of animalising two members of the podcast and making the brown one a monkey.

1:04:02I literally just... The idea was a monkey and an ox. They're two very different animals. Okay, fine. I should have actually... You know what is really annoying? What? I should have just done a wolf and an owl.

1:04:13Romesh Ranganathan:Well, it's two people named after... You're so stupid. It's so... What you just did... It's one of the lowest things you've done on this podcast. You're so stupid. You've made him such a prick. When have I ever said, you're so stupid? It's more about this. You're so stupid and dumb and idiotic, mate. Exactly like me. And then the innocent...

1:04:43Romesh Ranganathan:I'm just living my life. I don't even rise to the fact you're being so horrible. It's just a real insight to how you see yourself, the dynamic of this podcast. You horrible fucking man. It was more about trying to find, look, sometimes in life. Sleeping like a god. It's not even a saying, sleeping like a god. Have you ever heard that saying? It's where you'll sleep peacefully. Like a god? Yeah, the gods sleep well, right, because they're at peace with themselves. Okay, all right, okay. It just so happens... I think there's a lot to it. It just so happens the character that's sleeping like a god is based on you.

1:05:22Romesh Ranganathan:And the one that's based on me is riddled with anxiety. We're both riddles with anxiety. That's why it's not really... But your one was able to go to sleep straight away because he's so stupid and innocent. Fuck you. right okay jt i was in uh i took i took a little chisel out for a birthday burger uh the other day and uh charlie is that his nickname chisel yeah chis we call him chis with the riz um anyway he uh while we were there uh they're playing old school r &b like 90s r &b and swv anything came on and i forgot how much i love this song so jt can you play us out with a little a little like loved it's like a little you know what i mean like you really love the boy i'm gonna start i'm gonna i'm gonna put this on and go and see is this is this a look that you do with when you're gonna get it on with a little shoulder the shoulder one has micah ever taught you how to dance like that yeah he has yeah the shoulder thing yeah yeah yeah what are you doing man

1:06:34Romesh Ranganathan:I'm doing a dance you're doing rehab or something yeah after a car accident right guys thank you so much for listening to the podcast we'll see you next time much love big things boom bye

1:07:01Just for you, the boundaries you can write. If you choose to, to.

1:07:20Romesh Ranganathan:If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you. Close your eyes, exhale, feel your body relax, and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-CONTACTS. Oh my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry.

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