S4 Ep 34: A Pool Poo & Slow Jet Skiing

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1:21Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.

1:52Why wait? Ask your doctor. Visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more.

2:24Rode in with a gang of crows. Fuck the censorship. Let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill. Never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff a puff and a... Expect killings. Red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive in it. The death bringing its head spinning. Just kidding. Every word in this song is about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Hello and welcome to Wolf and Al, the podcast. it's the podcast version of The Wolf for Now which only exists as a podcast and soon as a live show as is the as is in keeping with our summer one of us is abroad so a bit of a mad one where are you?

3:07Still in Portugali man, in the business suite all places what did you ask if they could let you? no no, I snuck in here my figuration was at 6am no one else is going to be around no, that's good it's our final day we fly back today how's your holiday been? it's been great do you know what it's been absolutely just spending time with G it's just been I mean Catherine and Grace but just Grace it's just really quite amazing just Grace yeah yeah yeah Catherine left on day three so it's been two of us it was sad it's sad isn't it when your other half says I wish we could spend more time together and then they finally discover what that looks like and feels like um i mean grace is very much the boss of the the holiday and everything we do but um i think the the biggest thing that's happened since we last actually on the day that we last spoke has been poo gay yeah so i i did sort of see that you posted a little bit about it on your stories but you did that typical thing of um i would say it's the poo version of somebody going big news coming soon yeah i can't talk about it now where you sort of said there was a poo but you didn't sort of go into any more detail about it so you want to just firstly for the for the animal pack just lay it down for us please yeah firstly so let me just say let me wipe my ass almost with the uh or sort of clean my mouth when it comes to this the main reason i can't get too into it is because i i've made a solemn vow that not to be on my phone i'd literally got back from the mr poo gate and i was itching to sort of talk about it to someone who wasn't grace how does this vow work because um i actually got worried about yesterday where i'd sent you a text about recording this pod you hadn't replied for which is you hadn't replied for 10 minutes which is unusual for you and then hours passed by and then i thought well let me just see if he's posting because it's possible he just doesn't want to reply which is fine that's in your yeah i've got no issues with that and then i looked on your instagram and there was no active stories on your instagram that tom is when i started to become concerned because I thought he's not sent any updates for his holiday.

5:18Now I'm starting to get worried. So I actually did text you a little bit panicked. I've sent two stories since I've been out here. Puget and the day of golf I put out some footage from. I've not had my phone. I didn't want to have my phone between 9 and 6. So I leave it in the room. We go about our daily graft. So that's why at 6 o 'clock I text you. I don't have thought there was nothing to worry about. And I re-put my phone back. Oh, I was concerned about a friend. No, no, can I say, by the way? Yeah, okay. Can I say, I actually felt, it was the only time anyone for a long time being worried about me.

5:59And I actually felt really happy. It made me feel valued and loved. And I needed some of that in my life. My only concern with that is that you're going to start sort of simulating that so that you can get a text from me. That's now what my concern is. No, no, no. I'll be thirsty as fuck come... I'm going to start seeing Instagram stories going, just need some time to myself logging off. Having a cold. There's too many people on here. All right. So, break down Puget for us. So, literally, we get to Nepal. So, it had been Tuesday morning. So, yeah. And we informed that literally, friends of ours are some people we knew had arrived we're all sort of I'd been in the pool although this could make me look cute we haven't been to the side that the poo was in I'd had a little dip a lot of people by the way because of laxative gait a lot of people thought that maybe that was it was me who'd done the poo I can assure you it wasn't we were then chatting and then there was a massive for all I've never seen anything like it like people being like one of the waiters was shouting at kids to get out of the pool we had a scene in Jaws where your man running into the sea telling everyone to get out of the sea.

7:15It was like that. All in between is doing very well, actually. Yeah. Get out of the water, get out of the water. And he was shouting, there is a pool. Someone has had a pool. And then he'd lost his mind a bit and said, there's a shit. There is a shit in the pool. And then people are then, you know, mothers are grabbing, you know, the kids. Dads are shouting, like, you know, from the bar for their kids to get out of the pool. Not wanting to have to dip a toe in. And then, yeah, from there, it was, it was, everything went crazy. So we were told that it would be... Did you see the shit? Yeah, yeah.

7:49I mean, one of the big things was Grace and our friend's two kids. Along, like, pretty much, there we are, there was a queue to see the shit. Yeah. I mean, the big fear is that you turn around and you see Grace playing with it like a little submarine. No, no, no. Lucky enough for me, Grace can't, Grace can't dive. So she couldn't get to the depths where the shit was. So it sunk? yeah oh yeah mate it was it was on the bottom it was a big mate it was someone had squeezed their head to get it out it hadn't it wasn't a it wasn't like a wet fart that had just sort of like then sort of like swam off into the ether it was it was someone had pulled their shorts or you know swimming costume down and take i mean a lot of speculation here is has been leveled at one kid because so so this is this is date this is tuesday right okay a lot of a lot of anger building around about the poo uh because then what happens is everyone's like i mean you've got kids everyone's kind of like they're like we've got to close the uh pool down for 36 hours to clean it which if i'm going to be very honest with you romesh i was delighted but i was like well that shows they're not just going to pull out the poo try a little bit more chlorine in they're they're no 36 hours feels like a good it feels like a good amount of time yeah yeah yeah yeah but there's a lot of people were kicking off about this and then uh so what then what happened is that everyone was told to go up to the adult pool which is um a sanctuary for people to come on holiday without children uh and um sort of like the quietness that rumesh was where you know the sort of netflix documentary of this starts because it became almost like a sort of civil war it was very like there was parents with kids and and i'm gonna be quite yeah met a lot of good people on the show there's a lot of people who tend to just let their kids run run riot that don't seem that just put them you know it's one of the little water vests that they float in they stick one of those on and said so right there we go see it see it till eight hours go and do what you're going to do like young kids just running around with with no parenting so they were sort of uh leaping in the pool shouting screaming and then a tirade of complaints arguments started between parents um the poor bar staff of the hotel would get absolutely smashed a bit like you know i love children as you know tom um but i imagine if you're in the adults only pool yeah and then suddenly you sort of look across and see like a series of sort of raptors a load of kids and their parents come running over to your sanctuary i i sort of do i do see it from there well it was a little bit like lord of rings you know the orcs come over the hill because you have to go and miss the sort of small small hill like you basically you're coming up hill to get so when that when when kid one one family and then before you know it 25 families it's sort of and also then what happens is there's not enough sun lounges so people bring up sun lounges then you've got a really overcrowded pool absolute carnage um we made the executive decision at this point by the way to go somewhere else we were like we could just do something else today today's a full up a pool day um grace threw some accusations around about who the poor could be um in the very limited sort of basis of names that she knew um yeah uh yeah um so what did she say dad is it dad lucky enough she would say dad which was quite good because she's quite she's quite a um convincing storyteller at the moment that's sort of something i'm quite proud of her but um but she's sort of uh living with my friends where do you think she gets that from sort of the talent to sort of weave a tale of complete bullshit well kaffin hates it as you can imagine um she's essentially living with two of the same people so there was a cat called Tom and he wasn't sure if he was happy with life he wandered past the tree the tree said oh hello there Tom anyway I can't do the rest of it you get the idea of the bit I thought that was a sign to build to sound quite beautiful so yeah so anyhow 36 hours past by this time every time we go through reception you're hearing either parents of angry children who've got nothing to do complaining or couples who've had their romantic getaway ruined.

12:23So it was very... Tension in the hotel was starting to run quite high, right? Yeah, yeah. The next afternoon, after 36 hours of late, mid to late, mid-afternoon, we are told kids can go back in the pool. This, Ramesh, lasts a matter of minutes before another poo is found. Oh, my God. It's insane. We actually weren't at the hotel at this point. A friend of ours, Amy, had texted us to say, you're never going to guess what, the pool's been re-shut down. there's another poo there's another poo right yeah we the next day obviously that's another 36 hours so the next day yeah of course yeah so we're looking at 70 hours of no pull now yeah and you're also looking at a hotel that is quavering on the brink of a complete of complete social unrest this is where this is where society falls down yeah you know I will shout I have to say at this point the kids club coming to their own that that's now oversubscribed that the poor people running that around yeah yeah it's it's it's there's nothing there is nothing angrier bar some people outside some hotels recently in the uk than a group of people whose holiday is under jeopardy that's when people you really see the worst of humanity i think what what starts happening after sort of 18 hours is that the first parents are going i feel really bad about the people who are here on the romantic break and the people on romantic break are kind of like oh yeah i feel bad because the families have can't use the family pool after 18 hours that all goes people are like well fuck them we don't care mate we don't we're on holiday we've got we should be able to use a pool and the other people are like well we we use this pool this is our points the adults only it says the sign well where we men are fucking swimming mate where we're gonna keep what the kids men are doing just fucking sit Interesting choice of accents there, Tom.

14:34You've decided to depict the people with children as very much working class, and the people without, you've sort of given a kind of slight posh. This is one very specific conversation I sat and listened to. So this is not representative of the groups? No, no, no, no. There's some very posh people with kids. Absolutely. Posh people do reproduce, don't they? Yeah, and I must say quite a lot of the time the posh people that have reproduced, in my experience here, have been the people who've just let their kids wander off into the ether. Wow. Okay. In my experience. Yes. So that now, now we're dealing with a real, real anger surfacing throughout the hotel.

15:11The staff here, incredible. There's nothing they could do. Like, if I'm honest with you, I think you'd have been proud of me in this situation. I like to think you would have. Even Catherine commented, I kept a very level head. And every time someone's like shouting at me about, or talking to me about it, which would happen whenever you talk to anyone I was like surely you've got you have to be quite happy that the fact is that someone's there's human feces in Nepal on two occasions and they've they've not, they have, it feels like there's a decent level of cleanliness here my worry would have been if they just let you back in and just go on that's fine, don't worry about it they said give us 20 minutes yeah, we're going to get the old net out, whip this poo out give a little one-sobe with some fairy liquid and then we're good to go.

15:58Yeah, I mean, I will say that them getting, there was a lot of, you know, there was a bit of video footage of the guy getting both poos out with his big net. Anyhow, now everyone's trying to book other stuff to do. I imagine it like it's like a fire festival now. Yeah. People are just beating the shit out of each other. You know what, I've been searching for something to compare this to, and you've just fucking nailed it. People are looking for anything else to do, any other activities getting booked up fortunately for us with Grace one day we went shopping which was rather spending on my point having to keep her amused in an electric car they've got cars at the kids drive that she loves so she spent two hours in that while Catherine went shopping which was rather yeah but do you know what I'm going to say by the way I noticed my mental health difference without having the phone I thought I'd get Grace off the tablet and I've had quite a few people message me about Tablet Gate and we spoke about it last week oh that Tablet Gate has been an absolute disaster for the emails can I just I realise because I'm not going to bullshit Grace has still used the tablet she's still used the phone at restaurants that's fine don't start getting defensive now No, no, no.

17:20But I was saying even my head has felt clearer. I feel better. I feel more like the person I think I want to be without having my phone glued to my hand and not looking at it. Anyhow, so after this, another 36 hours, we've now done essentially almost half the holiday without a pull. Pulls back and then another rumours start spreading around. Like at breakfast, there's an air of calm that sets in. that people are like, oh, the kid's pool's back. By the way, I will say there was a lot of accusations thrown to one boy in particular about him being the shitter. Okay. Not by myself. And at this point now, it's happened twice now, so there's one of two things that happened here.

18:06One, the boy has, or the girl, has some sort of condition where when they're submerged in water, they feel like they have to poo, which I imagine is a nightmare for bath time. Yeah. Or the other option is this person is doing it maliciously. I think it's been option two. I think it's a kid that's been, who's crying out for attention because his parents aren't giving him any. Right. There's a little boy here. What evidence have you got to base that on? Well, there's a lot to be said about, you know, timings of who was in the, the second poo came at a time when there was not a lot of kids down by the pool.

18:46Yeah. I mean, if anything, that's commendable, isn't it? You don't want that in front of people. If you're going to sabotage a pool with a pool, at least have the decency to do it privately before the pool gets too busy, right? Well, it was also quite early, and he was spotted down there, and his name had already been soiled and muddied through Pugate 1. As had his shorts, I imagine. Well, I'm guessing what he'd probably done is pulled the back of his shorts down and just let the pool out. Okay, fine. yeah I'm guessing just looking at it and I looked at it three times as something from a poo expert I was pulled in yeah absolutely yeah I mean I'm assuming that's why your friend Amy texted you because we need our forensic scientists of shit to come over and have a look at what's going on down here yeah I straight away left the game of paddle I was playing yeah like Ironside or one of those really tacky sort of where's the other one Quincy and ran across town put on my white coat Mr Davis, Mr Davis there's been another excrement please do examine sorry Barry I'm going to have to cut this game of paddle short why?

19:58there's been another shit

20:05hustling across town people are like Mr Davis, Mr Davis hurry, hurry, hurry it's starting to break up Tom, sorry, Mr. Davis, I don't think you need a monocle. No, trust me. Trust me, I do. I'm the character. I just want to see how the light is striking this thing because it will give me an idea of the density.

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21:11Just like that. At Lowe's. I get so many headaches every month. It could be chronic migraine. 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more. Botox, on a botulinum toxin A, prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine. It's not for those who have 14 or fewer headache days a month. Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk.

21:45Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome and medications including botulinum toxins as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. Why wait? Ask your doctor. Visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more.

22:38And one of the best films ever made. Hamnet in cinemas now.

22:49By the way, can I say your voice now? Yeah. I started doing the voice you did for me last week for myself in front of Catherine and Grace, which has become one of the holiday staples of the most enjoyable. Give me a little burst of it. How'd you do it? I'm sorry. I want people to like me. I actually feel that's better than what I was doing. I can't even consistently do it. I played you or one of you doing that voice probably 30 times for grace. She was crying with laughter. And then she kept on going, that's daddy. Even without, yeah. I was like, okay, cool. This is nice. Even without the intro to the impression, she knew it was you.

23:27She could feel your energy. Yeah. Anyway, no. Is that you being, is Uncle Romesh doing you being thirsty, daddy? Yeah. Is this about your lift selfies, Daddy? You keep making us taste. Is this about you just being desperate for some sort of appreciation and appraisal and positive feedback? Because I do love you. I know you keep asking me, but I do. Yeah, that's what it's all about. I just want to feel like there's a little bit of support and love in the family. and I'd love if the accusations about me taking a poo in the pool would stop now, please. Anyhow, poo three. It is uproar now. People are saying they're going to leave.

24:22There's people talking about leaving the hotel. There's people looking for other hotels. People are trying to book villas. How definite are you about which kid it is? I'm pretty definite, but then also I didn't get too involved in telling other people that I thought it was this kid. No, you didn't become one of the town gossips. No, no, no. I sort of told a couple of people that I know are gossips and let them sort of throw through. Yeah. Yeah, and you stuck it up on Instagram so that it became sort of a publicly known thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I wish you didn't say about it. Anyhow. But people are genuinely looking for villas.

24:57People are starting to... There's a real uproar in this place. And then Pooh 3 is found out to be a stone that someone has thrown in. to the pool and it's a false alarm right so people go back in the pool and before you know it almost instantaneously order is restored it's all you know like a you know like a disaster or like a big superhero movie where the superhero saves the day and then all of a sudden just Gotham is back to normal it's a matter that Bane has kicked shit out of it and they have to rebuild like everyone's back and everyone feels yeah breakfast's nice again people are civil again but it just shows you it showed me a little look inside society it just takes one thing we're all we're all pooing a pool away from fucking civil unrest absolutely yeah and you can be here in the most lovely surroundings yeah I do think there is nothing sort of more unappealing than somebody sort of angrily demanding that their holiday get saved do you know what I mean it's like we've come on holiday well just want a nice holiday yeah but people people get so so angry yeah you know by the way what you realize is different accents bring different like some accents you hear the rage in them yeah and you it's literally quite terrifying yeah and some you hear people quite angry and you're trying to work out if they're angry or not or if they're still if they're okay well look with with apologies to anybody that sort of doesn't like kind of our scatological chat i do want to talk a little bit about uh toilets if i could just off the back of what you're saying i've got three things to report tom well i i think i think can i just say i've enjoyed my holiday i've enjoyed being on social media there has been one thing since our last podcast that has not just sat with me on the basis that it's it's something i've thought a lot about it's also i you know there's a number of people who are at this hotel who listen to the podcast or watch the clip that we put out or also listen to apparently parent in hell as well yeah so i didn't realize that the subject had been covered quite i didn't realize that i didn't rob has been talking about it a lot more than we have actually yeah yeah uh so i have been questioned about this the lunch date and subsequently the interaction between the Ranganathans and the Becketts across social media and like I'm like I'm I don't know Sue Barker at Wimbledon about to sort of like commentate on the whole thing so without any further ado do you want to go into Beckett versus Ranganathan?

27:40Yeah okay we'll do a Beckett we'll do a not Beckett versus Ranganathan but the Becketts and the Ranganathans yeah so well we had a lovely time that's all there is to report really Rob and his family arrived were you there at the hotel for to greet them? No actually I do want to give a shout actually because the day that the Becketts arrived was the day that Theo got his GCSE results and so Rob said to me we'll let you either commiserate or congratulate how did Theo get on Budapest? well without going into details he did great like we're so proud basically he was getting the email for the gcc results and lisa and i said let's not we said to him the day before you tell us when you're ready you know because he wasn't he was a bit obviously very nervous about it and so we said when you get the email we're not going to ask you what your results were so you can deal with the information however you want you know these are incredible parents well no it's just like you're just trying to make it was a shout out theo because it's hard to think of he had been there was because he's so naturally cool i know he's a cool kid so it's it's yeah it is unusual to see him sort of sort of showing uh yeah it is it is he's quite he's quite uh he's not i was about to say it's a closed book he's not a closed but what he is is kind of uh unflappable is how i'd describe him yeah in general terms you know he'd have been great during yeah so paulgate paulgate he'd have kept a little bit of been amazing i can imagine charlie and Alex would have been very much like Grace.

29:18The poor out of bounds. I think he would have gone as far as to say, do you know what, I'm going to make the kid feel better if this is a problem, and he would just pull his shorts down and curl one out himself and go, look, we're all doing it. You know, let's not target one person. Yeah. Anyway, so happily, seconds after he received the email, he ran into the room where we were in and just started shouting, I've done it, I've done it, I've done it, look, and read out his grades. He's very, very happy. So that was good. So we spent the day sort of, I made it out we had a big party we didn't it's just celebrations right the next day we met the we met the Beckett's for lunch at the hotel or did you go to at the hotel at the hotel we went for lunch at the hotel very nice time really really nice time and it's very clear what the what the stipulations were we were to meet for lunch and then we were to go our separate ways yeah what I would say is there's a lot of people a few people there that do listen to the Wolf and Al and similarly I was getting some speculation or questions about whether I'd seen Rob, how much time we were spending together, etc, etc.

30:21Because by all accounts, Becky had also laid out the same road map of how it may go down as we had. What, that I was going to be... Yeah, well, look, I actually got... So I got a text message from Josh when they were talking about them parenting hell. And Josh said, I got a voice note from him saying, Robbish, Rob believes, when he turns up, and I quote, you're going to be all over him. You're going to be desperate for a bit of Beckett. Can you comment? So Rob very much believed that I was going to be thirsting for him to turn up. But we decided that we'd made the decision we were not going to blend our holidays, right?

31:06That was the decision. You know, we've just done six episodes of Robb-A-Romish versus we do not need to know exclusive there's new series coming soon yeah anyway so we had lunch together and then we made arrangements to to watch the Arsenal Leeds game together yeah so the next evening so that so the next day I went out and so Rob's kids are really into La Boo Boo's are you aware of La Boo Boo's have La Boo Boo's come into Grace's life yeah not yet but yeah friends of ours it's been something so anyway Lisa and I Lisa and I and the kids we got a car and we sort of had a little drive around Mallorca and one of the places that we stopped off in they had like these knock off La Boo Boo's so I bought a couple I bought a couple for Rob Rob and Lou's girls so I got a couple of La Boo Boo's just a sort of you know not in a thirsty way just sort of no it's a beautiful nice little gift so we turn up at the Arsenal game which they were showing and presented the La Boo Boo's anyway they couldn't have been more fake they were completely different to what was on the box they were barely La Boo Boo's I'd say so that was it took the gloss off the presentation a little bit I'm not going to lie to you I mean they're very grateful for some reason the vision I have of you you know the moment in Meet the Parents when Ben Stiller goes out and finds the cat that's gone missing and he comes walking back across the lawn and he's got the cat and he's really proud.

32:39Yeah, that is a bit like what I was doing. And then they find out that the tail's been spray-painted on the LeBubu. Yeah. Yeah, that's basically, that is basically sort of what happened. But the Beckett girls are staring across at you and you look in at her and go, oh my God, Uncle Ramesh, and you come in and go, does someone like LeBubus? Does someone like LeBubus? Yeah, we love LeBubus, but these aren't fucking them, you silly old twat. And Dad said that you weren't going to fucking ruin our holiday. Dad said this... But your dad said this was your favourite thing. Your actual labubus, you sad prick.

33:18Friends of ours are in Portugal and someone's shatting a pool and they can't use it. And you've shatting our holiday, Uncle Ron, with these fake labubus. Do you think our dad couldn't afford labubus? He hosts Parenting Hell. He part-owns labubu. It's bigger than the dog and bird. Anyway, so presented them with that. And then we, again, went our separate ways. Now, the embarrassing part of the trip for me... I was going to say, what a result for Arsenal as well. What a beautiful... Yeah, yeah. It's been great. It's all good. And the next day, it turned out that we had coincidentally both booked to do an hour's jet skiing.

34:02Oh, at the same time? No, not at the same time, thank God. Not thank God. You know what I mean, though? That would have been awkward, wouldn't it? Sorry, I know I've called every day. Is today the day the Becketts are going jet skiing? Well, quick, quick one. Just want to make sure that I don't impinge on your holiday too much. It is 1pm you've booked the jet skis for, because that's... Yeah, I called the place. I called all the places on the island. And a little bit, I don't know, sort of mixed news. They said that I can just jump on the back of yours, if that's OK. please don't let uncle rob and his speedos be on the same jet ski as me anyway we went we went on just after them right so we were walking down to where you you jump onto jet skis as they were sort of like they just finished and um rob and lou were like very very uh excited about they're basically like rob and lou and the girls are very excited to tell us about how much fun the jet skis were yeah and they gave us a full report it's really good you know it's really like you can have a great time i did say i did sort of flag at that time that i thought my experience was going to be different just based on the sort of person i am do you mean like lou was sort of saying that she'd been top line in the the jet ski and i couldn't i couldn't see that in my future right anyway um so rob's and i think rob sniffed a bit of this because he said to me, can you just let us know how it goes after us?

35:31Because we'd love to hear how your jet skis experience went. Sort of disguising it as a genuine, wants to know if we had a good time. But actually what I know is, he knows that I'm going to be an absolute fucking... You're not going to be very good at it. Yeah. Yeah. So we go to the jet skis. Lisa's riding with Alex on the back. I'm riding with Charlie in the back. Theo's decided to stay at the beach and just chill out, right? Get some drinks. Of course, he's got a GTSA. He's now fucking... He's a member. Yeah, he's a different guy. He's not really a member of the family. He just happens to be with us, but he's not.

36:01That guy's having his own holiday. If anything, there's a chance that Theo, you might come back, and Theo's actually spending the rest of his holiday with the Beckets. Yeah, there's a strong part of me that expected him to be chatting to some other people and going, I've got four losers that are fucking heading on their way back soon that I've got to look after for the rest of the trip.

36:22Anyway, the best way I can describe the jet ski experience is sort of, for the entire duration I was on the jet ski, Charlie sort of tapping me and going, you can go faster if you want, Dad. Oh, no, really? Seeing Alex and Lisa absolutely cream it around. Well, I mean, Lisa found it nerve-wracking for the first five minutes and then she was into it. I, on the other hand, well, you know, to be clear, there were times where the guy guiding us had to slow down in order to let me catch up. Oh, my God, you're joking. in and then at one point Charlie said you can go faster and I went yeah but I'm just um I just I just want I just don't want you to fall off Charlie that's the thing is it's another consideration isn't it when you got when you got one of your kids on the back and you don't want to fall off and he goes I'm holding on really tight though dad like really tight I'm like yeah okay but I'd hate for you to go off the back I think it's fine dad like it's really stable the day if anything I'd be happy to go off the back and get on yeah get on that other guy those other people to be to the point where I'd rather swim into the harbour than be on the back of this jet ski that you're sort of driving at the speed of a milk float you follow the coming around you are sort of the guy takes you out, it's very quick like this is how you go forward, this is how you go backwards don't go too fast when there's other boats that's the gist of the safety briefing and then he says I'm going to take you round but he's being you're being led by him but he's being led by you in terms of like if you want to go super fast he'll let you do that because there's no There's no speed that you're going to go that he's going to get nervous about.

37:54Do you know what I mean? So he's like, do what you want. It was difficult for the guy to make eye contact with me when we got back. Oh, man. Oh, Jesus. You know, that is what I would say. The guy, he sort of looked at me as if to say... From athletic stuff like a full-court pickup game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff like a half-mile stroll. Get those steps in. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic, Sierra's got it.

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