In short
The Wolf & Owl podcast episode mixes live-show updates (especially Dublin ticket sales and crowd reactions), a comedic “Daily Mail” roleplay interview about Tom’s back injury, and a long “Am I the asshole?” story about extreme manspreading on a Jet2 flight. They also debate awkward social greetings (cheek-kissing) and riff on Thundercats/He-Man trivia.
Guests
No guests appear; it’s just the two hosts (Wolf and Owl).
Guest backgrounds
Not applicable (no external guests).
Key claims
Dublin show sales are “shambolic” and the audience “doesn’t like us,” but the hosts expect a great show. Tom’s back injury affected gigs and may involve painkiller use. On the plane, the manspreader was “sacrificing” the narrator’s space; the narrator gradually pushed back until the man moved.
Notable examples
Birmingham crowd praised; “Simon the Plumber” messaged after the show. The manspreading story includes a full 11pm flight, middle seat contact, and a “gentle push” reclaiming space.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOPodcast Theme and Introduction
0:19 to 0:43
Hosts Romesh and Tom engage listeners with their unique style.
“Getting help from one of State Farm's 19 ,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto.”
Podcast Theme and Introduction
1:06 to 2:24
Hosts Romesh and Tom engage listeners with their unique style.
“They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves.”
Upcoming Shows and Promotions
2:24 to 3:56
Discussion about upcoming shows in Hackney and Dublin, along with ticket sales.
“And for many people, they say some episodes are a direct example of you drying up.”
Reflections on Past Performances
3:56 to 5:30
Hosts reflect on their experiences and audience reactions during past performances.
“And I think going like, yeah, the ticket sales aren't great.”
Audience Engagement and Jokes
5:30 to 7:18
Discussion about an audience member's joke and the hosts' interaction.
“Let's turn negative Nelly and turn it to his head and go into positive Pete, yeah?”
Tom's Back Injury and Social Media
7:18 to 8:50
Tom discusses the impact of his back injury and social media presence.
“he sort of received a little bit of kind of, of laughter at him, but it was actually our thickness.”
Interview Role Play with a Journalist
8:50 to 10:26
A humorous role play where Tom simulates an interview about his back injury.
“of your Instagram, do you know what I mean?”
Charity and Back Injury Consequences
10:26 to 12:56
Tom discusses the challenges of balancing charity work with his back injury.
“Can I also, first of all, thank you for getting behind our roundabout painting fundraiser.”
Closing Thoughts and Future Plans
12:56 to 14:00
Hosts wrap up their thoughts on the episode and future engagements.
“Yes, and you might say, Norris, that maybe physically I was pushing myself beyond the pale.”
Back Injury Banter
14:00 to 17:46
The hosts engage in a humorous yet poignant discussion about serious back issues.
“Tom became spiky and made yet another error.”
Show all 19 chapters
Jet 2 Flight Confessions
17:46 to 19:13
Tom shares his realization about booking a Jet 2 flight and reflects on travel misconceptions.
Manspreading Dilemma
19:13 to 22:38
Discussion on an uncomfortable flight experience involving a manspreading passenger.
“I was flying, I was filming abroad, and then I got a Jet 2 flight back.”
Confrontation on the Flight
23:23 to 28:00
Tom reflects on how he navigated a challenging situation with a rude passenger during the flight.
“what would you have done in this situation because i did do something but i but before I tell you what I did, I'd love to know what you what you think?”
Flight Experiences and Personal Encroachments
28:00 to 30:06
Learn about the hosts' humorous and relatable experiences during flights, including reclaiming personal space and incidents of in-flight disturbances.
“No, no, all I'm going to say is this, right?”
Turbulent Times and Flight Delays
30:06 to 33:05
Discover the anxiety and unexpected events that can occur during flights, including delays and passenger reactions.
“Because I put up a post going like, I just put up a little photo of me miserable on the plane going, this is my fault for having a good time, just like a stupid, jokey photo.”
Bizarre Plane Incidents and Smells
33:05 to 36:06
Explore peculiar flight incidents, including smells of burning plastic and the dynamics of flying with strangers.
Social Awkwardness and Greetings
36:06 to 42:06
Engage with the hosts' discussions about social greetings, particularly the nuances and discomforts of cheek kissing.
“You can still feel there is cow manure about, but...”
Parenting Realities: Daughters and Goodbyes
42:06 to 43:00
Romesh shares a humorous yet poignant experience with his daughter not wanting to give him a kiss at school drop-off.
“so the idea that i mean that's fucking i get it i'm fucking i'm cool with that but it's well it's not really cool with that it's quite a fucking soldier string some mornings give me a kiss goodbye.”
The Importance of Presence: Gifts Beyond Material
43:01 to 44:29
Tom reflects on the various forms of gifts, emphasizing the significance of presence and kindness over physical presents.
“Some gifts come in one of those little bag things, a gift bag I believe they're called, big heart on the front, nay, say that friend, a bird picking its way through some berries.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:02Turn it up. Storm has zero sugar and 200 milligrams of caffeine, so you can turn that workout up a notch. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling? Smart move. Another smart move? Getting help from one of State Farm's 19 ,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto. Bundling, just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state.
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1:15Yo.
1:16Romesh Ranganathan:Yo, what do you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves. Them podcaster body parts get severed and served Bring your weak shit where the wolf and owl are That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All your ears are huff-a-puff and a...
1:47Romesh Ranganathan:Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive in it, the death bringing, it's head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog.
2:22Romesh Ranganathan:we've always pushed the line in terms of are we going to dry up. And for many people, they say some episodes are a direct example of you drying up. But this time round, we are doing, this week, we're doing this. We're doing two Hackneys and then... And a Dublin. And one more of these and then a Dublin. One more of these and then a Dublin. Yeah. And with the Dublin situation, can I say, in all of our friendship, your Dublin video is my favourite video you've ever done. Well, I've actually received some... A friend of mine contacted me and said, why have you done such a desperate video? And then I said to him...
3:05Romesh Ranganathan:Because the problem is, the problem with doing videos like that is obviously it's truth wrapped in comedy, right? Like I'm not really desperate, but the sales aren't amazing, right? Oh, the sales are ropey as fuck. What I love, by the way, is all the animal pack people getting in touch saying we didn't know you were coming to Dublin. Oh, man, incredible. Absolutely incredible. The number of messages I've got going, oh, Wolf Lowe's in Dublin. We have talked about it quite a bit. Well, I don't think we talked about it. I think what we're guilty of is putting something on, not promoting it, then complaining that it hasn't gone the way that we should.
3:45Romesh Ranganathan:And look, it's a toxic pattern, and it's one that we keep repeating. it's a generational curse by the way can I say you had to do that video on the basis that Flo's opinion was I've done so many desperate pathetic videos I'm essentially the boy who cried wolf on Instagram now somebody said to me you shouldn't let on that that's going on I sort of think yeah you should by the way I'm never going to be one of these people who knows I think you have to be honest with it when you see people go packed up rooms, smashed room, and see empty seats in the room. I don't think there's anything worse. And I think going like, yeah, the ticket sales aren't great.
4:25The ticket sales are fucking shambolic. I mean, at the moment, can I say, by the way, the biggest winner out of our Dublin show will be Graz. Graz is very excited about going to Dublin. Yeah, he is.
4:37Romesh Ranganathan:He's incredibly excited. But I would say, you know, there's an argument that, you know, people saying, oh, I didn't know you were out in Dublin. It's a suggestion the audience needs to get the message. The fact that it's sold the way it has, there's a strong suggestion that you and I need to get the message, and that is that Dublin doesn't like us. But people that are coming to the Dublin show, it's going to be off the heezy. We'll probably be sat next to you. It's going to be amazing. I think we should start in the crowd and then move on to the stage. I actually think we can do it person to person, like a table magician.
5:19Romesh Ranganathan:Because parents' evening. Yeah, I think we can come round and actually have an individual chat with you and go, OK, what is your issue? And you don't have to have it broadcast. And we just work our way round the room. It's a tight half an hour. Let's turn negative Nelly and turn it to his head and go into positive Pete, yeah? My guy, Birmingham was a feeling. Birmingham, for me, I've got to say, I think Birmingham might be my favourite Wolf in our life we've ever done. I don't I'm very loathe to jinx things but when we walked on stage and started talking within about 10 minutes I thought this is going to be this is going to be like one of the best ones and so it's supposed to be Birmingham crowd bang up for it yeah Simon the Plumber has reached out from the Birmingham show and then he followed you not reached out to me and I think that is no no no this is where no no can I just say doesn't follow me follows you okay I'm not sure he knew the podcast was what the podcast was I think he just turned up on a wing and a prayer.
6:17But a sweet, sweet soul at that. And, yeah, I mean, for some reason, obviously, a bigger fan of the owl than the wolf. But a good man.
6:28Romesh Ranganathan:Is that the end of that story? No, he just reached out saying how much he enjoyed it. He said if his joke fell on deaf ears, it was, you know, he cracked it. I don't want to go too much for people who weren't in Birmingham. Yeah, it's like, you know, when you've been on a stag, and someone else didn't come. I think we can share Simon's joke. so big shout out to to some the plumber sweet simon yeah um he told this joke and actually i don't know if it was like the nerves of the thing or the fact that he was you know he was a bit far away and not on mic so he told this joke and this is a this is uh it was it what is the best what is the best owl yeah i don't know i don't know what is the best owl teat and then we didn't get that and obviously it's tea towel.
7:08Romesh Ranganathan:A tea towel, yeah. A tea towel, a tea towel. Anyway, we went what? And then what happened was, I feel like Simon, he sort of received a little bit of kind of, of laughter at him, but it was actually our thickness. Yeah. You know. Yeah, well, maybe we were caught in the crosshairs. Yeah. And yeah, but a fun and amazing evening. Birmingham did not let us down. Thank you very much, Birmingham. Anyone coming to Dublin, rest assured, we are buzzing for it. We're going to be there. We're going to absolutely smash the roof off the place best we can in a conversation between two people on the stage. By the way, can I say, oh, Rob Percy.
7:53Ow, wow, ow, I'm still fucking, still burnt from how on fire Rob Percy was.
7:58Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, God, I couldn't figure out. Do you know what? This is the tragic thing of our age. I couldn't figure out. I rollercoasted between, is he doing a bit or has he actually got some sort of illness, like some sort of injury from trying to touch his keyboard or something? It's the sort of thing that we... That's just how I think of my acting. It's the sort of thing that can happen to us at our age. You know, one minute you're going to get some Cheerios, the next minute you're dealing with a serious vertebra issue. Well, mate, I've had a lower back issue for about three weeks. Yeah. It's just not going away.
8:31Romesh Ranganathan:Well, if you don't mind me saying, Tom, you got yourself into a little bit of shit as a result of your incessant need to post your every single moment on Instagram. Because you obviously got a back injury which meant you had to pull out of a gig. And then the next thing you did was obviously splashed all over the front page of your Instagram, do you know what I mean? Like you're some sort of Hollywood star that needs to keep everyone updated. But that actually slightly led to your public downfall because I noticed some people going, you know, with the emoji, the thinking face emoji, I was under the impression that he had back issues only a couple of days ago.
9:13Hmm. Can I say the back issues are still ever-rested? I'd love you to refute the allegations. Okay, here we go.
9:20Romesh Ranganathan:Did you? I'm going to do... Let's do this like a journalist. The big thing of... Let's do this like a journalist. Okay, you're the judge. I'm not a judge. I'm a journalist. you've been you've got what's your name what's your journalist name um norris uh flunderbutt all right norris flunderbutt christ i'm just thinking what paper what paper do you work for uh let's go to the mail no daily mail no okay well okay what what name would be better for daily mail then well this is how i'm going to answer the questions it's going to be yeah um so uh hi norris how are you how would you like a cup of tea norris where are we where are we in your house yeah uh well you can't bit my house or my cafe that i own uh okay um hi tom it's um is that it's it's it's norris from the uh from the daily mail yeah i don't yeah i've just introduced myself i know you are i was restart i was restarting obviously restarting oh okay all right okay so so hi hi tom it's norris from the daily mail oh nice to meet you yeah thank you so much for chatting Yeah, thank you for getting on board with this whole back-fusically fiasco.
10:28I'm absolutely...
10:29Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, it must be tricky. Can I also, first of all, thank you for getting behind our roundabout painting fundraiser. That was great to have your support. Well, weirdly, that's actually where a lot of the back problems started. Right. Yeah, putting up flags, painting roundabouts. That's, yeah, it was a lot more. Heaving the small boats back into the water. Yeah, to be fair, I didn't get too involved in that. There were some younger, fitter boys who did that. Delicious young specimens. Interesting. Anyway, Tom, should we just get into it? Yeah, Norris. Norris, let me just tell you this. When I say this, I want to be organic, I want to be open, and I want to be effervescent.
11:20Romesh Ranganathan:um i need you sorry sorry sorry to interrupt someone i don't want i don't want to interrupt your flow you've sort of used well it's difficult you've made sort of two quite fundamental errors in that sentence you've uh you said you want to be organic i'm not sure that is appropriate in the context of what you're using you will say the effervescent which i i think is you trying to say effervescent which would also be incorrectly used so just just obviously because this is going into print i just sort of trying to figure out what exactly i well you can do something to pick up on that Norris. What I want to tell you is this is a unique and quite harbouring story.
11:56Hmm.
11:57Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, just let me just can I just note this down? Tom managed to make three quite fundamental English language mistakes in in 30 seconds. Okay, yeah, off you go. Yeah. Okay, so what are your questions Norris? Oh, right. Yeah. So what I guess my first question is, um, well, you know, if you could set the scene for me i suppose is that you were unable to to make a a gig as a result of a back promise could you just give us a little bit of of background into what the gig was i feel quite emotional i feel quite emotional going back to this time i sort of haven't finished asking the question but okay yes so uh so norris to be quite open about about this i'd been suffering with a bad back for quite some time and bravely just getting on with my life um well you were you Sorry, I mean, can you forgive people for being surprised, bearing in mind that you did one of your hilarious time-lapse press-up videos not that long before this, and obviously you're constantly updating.
12:59Yes, and you might say, Norris, that maybe physically I was pushing myself beyond the pale. I was in pain, but I'd also... Tom makes a fifth mistake. Sorry, go on. Yes, sorry. Do carry on. I was pushing myself well through the pain barrier to get this challenge in which I actually raised quite a paltry sum in the end. It was quite embarrassing for me.
13:26Romesh Ranganathan:How would you respond to the allegations that the press-up exercise was a bit of an ego boost for you and you were more concerned about the Instagram story post than you were about the actual charity? Well, the charity was I actually put some of my own money in And I actually am very concerned with the charity. I mean, I've been quite open about this, and I don't want this to take a dark turn, Norris, but it's a very important challenge to me. So your facetiousness and ignorance has caused quite a eruption within this interview process, if you don't mind me saying, Norris. Tom became spiky and made yet another error.
14:05Romesh Ranganathan:Yes, do go on. Well, I'm so sorry to have... So my body had been pushed, but yeah I wouldn't as you know Norris I'm sure you know me I was not going to back down and that became the problem Norris there's no joking matter when it comes to back issues I love joking Norris you should know I love laughter more than anything the sound of a child laughing an old person wheezing out a gentle chuckle but this isn't about laughter this is about a back injury that meant I couldn't bring laughter to the people of Rick Winsworth and Potter's Bar I mean, obviously the back injury is forming the spine of this interview.
14:43Romesh Ranganathan:Is that another joke, Norris? Do you want it to be? Norris, when I agreed to meet you, you heard DM me, said that this was a very important piece about, not just for me, but for both of us, Norris, for your career, because everyone at work thinks you're a bit of a wally, and you thought you could get sort of, you know, a front page story from this. and I believe that these two council gigs are important for everyone to talk about. But if you're just going to come here and seemingly crack jokes and be a nincompoop, then I think this interview will be over soon. Okay, well, I can only apologise.
15:24Romesh Ranganathan:So what's the story? How were you able to... Norris, now what you're doing is you're rushing. Have you interviewed someone before, Norris? This is your first interview, isn't it? it's not it's not it's not it's your first it's it's norish relax relax take a breath nor is it look me in the eye i actually i actually uh i recently interviewed uh um jess glenn about the the the jet 2 advert great advert yeah this isn't about jet 2 this is about a bad back my friend this is about injury it's about a crisis you've done the happy stuff welcome to the sad neighborhood Okay, sorry. You know, please, so what was the story then?
16:07Norris, can I just ask why you made the judgment not to take off your shoes when I'm coming into my house as well?
16:13Romesh Ranganathan:I've got to be honest with you. Up until you said that, I was under the impression we were in a cafe. Well, a cafe is my home. I live above it. Okay. I can take my shoes off now if you like. Can I ask you one final question, Tom? Do you think this bit needs an end? Here's the end. Look at me, Norris. Every night I go to bed and I think of the people of Pottersborough and Rick's Mark. Why have you put your hand on my shoulder? That I let down. I've put both my hands on both your shoulders. Now I'm going to touch your face if that's okay. I don't consent to this. Norris, if I could turn back time and my back wasn't bad, then I would turn back time, my friend.
16:55But my back was in serious, serious disarray. and I had to have some painkillers which were very very very very numbing but also completely knocked me out I think I might be addicted to those painkillers now that's another story for
17:08Romesh Ranganathan:you so Norris if you will would you could just just just one quick question Tom do you think this is information you should have delivered to your friends outside of a role play
17:25the animal pack are my friends they're my kid sure okay so yeah okay so something like that
17:32Romesh Ranganathan:okay yeah fine i'll write i'll i'll write it up it's probably not going to go in the main paper it'll be online um anyway you had a back injury how is your back by the way yeah it's still pretty painful uh i've not been able to work out probably for two weeks which is which comes with its own problems i don't know how you get with that uh i i i really find it very difficult not to be but i've been told by the doctor not to do any heavy lifting or so i could do body weight stuff which essentially when you're sick you know when you're me still heavy lifting right yeah i mean i had a few back problems a few weeks ago and the doctor said to me i couldn't do any heavy lifting but then i said no i've got to keep doing the podcast
18:19my god my god is it king zing
18:25Romesh Ranganathan:how have you been anyway my g well i i i believe by the time i think either by the time or tomorrow what i've been doing is going to be what i've been doing it's going to be announced but anyway i've been away i've been away filming um i uh i flew i'm going to display a level of ignorance here and a lot of people are going to sort of say god promise you really are as out as out of touch as tom has suggested in the podcast i didn't realize you could book a jet two flight without being on a jet two holiday right that that is something well i thought jet two is just like a package thing i don't think yeah but then i thought like you book a jet two package holiday you go on a jet two plane and it really could just get on a jet two plane i don't realize that was of course you can otherwise the planes would be empty after time no you make a fair point anyway that i i I was flying, I was filming abroad, and then I got a Jet 2 flight back.
19:19Romesh Ranganathan:Is that the thickest thing I've ever said? How is Jet 2? How was Jet 2? How did you find them, the flight? Well, this is what I want to talk to you about, because if I was a member of the animal pack that didn't have the privilege of actually being on the podcast, I'd probably be sending this in an email. Right. And it would go something along the lines of, Dear Wolf, Owl, Swan and Cat, Thank you very much for the sweet sweet podcast. It's cheered me up on many a morning However, I do find myself with a little bit of a dilemma and I find myself wondering in the old cliche. Am I the asshole? Oh And I'll tell you why I was recently flying back from a job abroad and Obviously had the wolf and out in the headphones locked and loaded ready to help me a while away those sweet sweet hours as I sat on the plane.
20:12Romesh Ranganathan:As I, first of all, the thing that I didn't understand and one of my friends rinsed me for it, I didn't realise that you could get on a Jet 2 plane without having booked a package holiday. He's very gracious about it, but I couldn't help find myself wondering if I really was a bit of a thicko for that lack of understanding. Anyway, cut to the chase, long story short. I get onto the plane and I sit down what are you laughing at? I just weirdly thought of getting you a t-shirt as a young, dumb and full of gold
20:48Romesh Ranganathan:the problem is only one of those things is true spot the lie
Read the full transcript
20:56Romesh Ranganathan:um, okay I go to sit down anyway, I'm going to forget this email thing The point is, I sit down next to this guy, and he's a big fella. I've got no issue with big fellas. I've got no issue with big anyone. One of your best friends is a big fella. Yeah, but basically, he's manspreading across to the point where... So I sit down, and as I sit down, my... I'm not exaggerating. My descent to my seat is obstructed, right? Because he's sort of... So are we talking arms, legs, body? Arms and legs. He's sort of sat across, and he's sort of like that. His arms are sort of like that. You know, big and, like, he's widened his sort of proud chicken kind of stuff.
21:45So are you saying he's like a, yeah, he's like a Daddy Longlitz in retreat?
21:48Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. And then his legs are wide open. So I'm trying to avoid contact because I feel like... Is he in the middle seat, by the way? He's in the middle seat, yeah. His wife's on, or his other half is on the other side. Yeah. anyway to the point where i'm like the flight was at 11 o 'clock at night so i'm hoping to get some sleep on this flight no chance not a jet two brother um that's the last that's the last bastion of the party by the way a lot of people so i um sit down on the seat but where i'm sort of trying to avoid him my i feel like my basically you know i'm not i'm not sat straight so i kind of just try and adjust myself as much as i possibly can i'm over to my side of the seat but where he's kind of man spreading the whole of my left arm and my left thigh is constantly in contact with this man right jeez that's insane did you not say anything well that's the question
22:48Romesh Ranganathan:got a sam's cafe pizza order up you know the best part about this spicy italian sausage i voted for this topping yeah just another perk of being a member come join us sam's club packages by expedia you were made to occasionally take the hard route to the top of the eiffel tower we were made to easily bundle your trip expedia made to travel flight inclusive packages are at all protected
23:23what would you have done in this situation because i did do something but i but before
23:28Romesh Ranganathan:I tell you what I did, I'd love to know what you what you think? Yeah, I'm gonna be I would have said, bro, for real. Like, this, this. I'd have been with the first words you said to this man have been bro, bro, for real. I'd have done a few tuts. Probably first. And then but then I'd have been Are you for real? Like, I think when you've got when you come into a situation like this, right? And you've got someone who's got so much little regard for the people around him, there's no way of being nice and going, oh, excuse me, are you okay just to budge up a little bit so I can have the seat that I've paid for?
24:07Straight away, he's going to see you as weak, right? So you have to go in. What a horrible way of looking at the world, by the way. Yeah, but I'm talking about this piece of scum. That's what this idiot is. He's a fool. He's gone for his life and he thinks that his presence is bigger than anyone else's. Can I say, by the way, as a big man, someone at 6 '7", I get on a plane, I try and make myself as small as I can. I try and sort of... How do you do that? Pull my legs together like that. I might turn around, sit sides.
24:38Romesh Ranganathan:Do you spend the whole flight in the brace position just to really help people out? No, I'm not far away from that. I mean, I try to get a seat with a leg room. By the way, I'm going to say this as a threat. If you're not disabled or elderly, when I get on a plane and see those legs... Just for context, he was elderly and heavily disabled. I should have said that. No, but when you see people in the legroom seats who are quite short and don't need them, and when you're 6 '7", it's a fucking horrible flight. 6 '7"! Crammed in. Anyhow, I should get that sort of safe. What the fuck's wrong with you?
25:15I've had a mental breakdown. This is something I feel quite passionate about. um so so so when when you're dealing with someone like this and i have dealt with in in when you get three big people sitting in the legroom seats you'll always get one person trying to play alpha that's how it is so you have to be you have to be thrown back okay what did you do well here's the
25:39Romesh Ranganathan:situation from my point of view i sort of sat down i was quite tired so when i get tired i i'm i second guess myself quite a bit because i feel like you get grumpier and what i don't want to do is overreact to the situation you know you have a tendency to sort of not you know one has a tendency to kind of snap slightly too soon if you're a bit knackered so and then i look and then i looked in with that sort of in a non-confrontational way to figure out trying to figure out how much of this is sort of in a lack of consideration and how much of it is just this physicality i'm trying to figure out because if i if i say what i'm nervous about is going bro for real and what i'm asking him to do is shrink is impossible yeah yeah but but but no one needs to sit like that so i looked at him and i couldn't figure it out right he's like i think he's probably in his 50s mid to late 50s and he's quite a big fella like as in tall but also you know he's um returned yeah yeah i guess so yeah so so i'm so i'm looking at him and i'm and i'm thinking i don't know if he can do anything about i'm sort of thinking can he do anything about but then this is the point where i look across at the other side and his wife looks very comfortable and then i realize what's happened here is is i am being sacrificed to wow in order to wow for them to have like you know themselves a comfy little time right and you know if anybody's if anybody's side of their body should be in constant contact with this man it should be your your wife surely right you're betrothed anyway regardless of all that time i still didn't say anything you still said nothing no what i tell you what i did it's a four-hour flight as well right how the hell do you know that tomorrow because i know why i'm great i could have been an airplane pilot or one of the people who organize his flights a lot of the like my do you know um dinesh did uh pilot training you know he's not a fully qualified pilot and he said one of the most difficult bits of that pilot training was knowing roughly how many hours it takes to get anywhere Really?
27:38Romesh Ranganathan:No. What the fuck are you talking about?
27:46I thought I might have passed the fucking hardest bit and then it would all be... I'm fucking great, by the way, on plane simulators. Yeah. I'm fucking great on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The landing I'm not as good at, but the rest of it I'm fucking pretty fucking banging. I can sit there for four hours.
27:59Romesh Ranganathan:I think one of the exams didn't fail because they gave him a simulation of a dodgy landing and he managed to sort of land it and stuff and they said well done and he said before I can give you the pass do you know sort of about how long it takes to get to Portugal and he wasn't sure I'm so sorry So you said nothing you just sat there you were violated Well yeah this is what I did and you're going to think I think you're going to I say lose respect for me I know you're going to say I love you you're my kith and my kith But I know that in these situations, your respect for me is slightly lower, isn't it, in these sort of scenarios?
28:40No, no, all I'm going to say is this, right? All I'm going to say is this. Number one, was the flight full? Yes. Wow.
28:47Romesh Ranganathan:It was a full flight. Hmm. Okay. Okay. So, not completely... I don't know, anyway. So, but it was busy. So, this is what I did. I sat down next to him. And then gradually, what I did was I physically asserted myself in the space. So, so... whoa whoa whoa whoa you've been presumptuous now i do respect you you're doing a fucking very very very so so without saying takeover without saying anything i gradually sort of over the course of i'd say 45 to 60 seconds just put gentle push gentle push gentle push then all of a sudden guess who got his fucking seat back wow fucking hell yeah that is that's see actually i do respect that yeah i do respect that i reclaim my land i'm starting to feel like i know how those guys feel man i can send them out but uh no it so that's what i did that's what i did have you seen that have you seen the footage of the uh right in air flight where there was a big fight and the guy gets from yeah i have seen it like he sort of like smashes into the seats opposite right it's like it looks pretty yeah it's and then his son is also arrested for what not backing him up no i your son his son's going i mean i couldn't see his son did too much wrong but you don't you know he's just going that's my dad that's my dad and next thing you know he's put into an arm lock and dragged through the aisle but it was uh have you ever been on a flight when anything like that's happened that is one of the most intimidating things in the world no i've never i don't think i've ever seen anything like that i mean i i was i was on the flight back from greece with leisha and the kids when the air traffic control went down and we're stuck on the plane for on the runway for 90 minutes and they sent us back into the airport i remember like and it didn't get anything like that but you could feel it was getting a bit basically i think you and i've said this before we're all one or two incidents away from descending into full fucking lord of the flies right and that's kind of what that's kind of what happened on this flight was that we got sent back to the airport and you could feel like a little bit of disturbance in the force whatever and people getting upset and then christian guru murphy texted me to ask him if i could ask me if I could record a video for it for Channel 4 News.
30:55Romesh Ranganathan:Wow, really? Yeah, but I've never seen... How did he know you were on the flight? Because I put up a post going like, I just put up a little photo of me miserable on the plane going, this is my fault for having a good time, just like a stupid, jokey photo. The sort of thing that I put up and you go, oh, you fucking have show sharing, mate.
31:17Romesh Ranganathan:I'm trying to think what your post would be like, because I don't think it would be, this is my fault for asking for a good time, I think it might be ploned alone but still managing to look funky fresh. Stay strong out there, sweet, sweet souls. Something like that. That probably would be that. I mean, Catherine were on one years ago and it kicked off on a fly and it is actually one of the most intimidating things to be, because there's no way out mid-air. And the feeling that the poor stewardesses who aren't really, they're putting them physically, you look at it and go, and then what happens is, because it was quite a way back from where we were, and it kicked off towards the back of the plane, and then other passengers try to get involved to sort of do the right thing, and before you know it, it becomes an absolute fucking, almost like a riot on a plane.
32:10It's like Con Air. It was fucking terrifying. I'm not even going to, yeah. I would admit, yeah, and then Catherine was getting very nervous. The person next to us was, yeah, on their own getting very terrified. I was on the aisle. I had to think where my legs were out because I had to sort of swing them around. So just my knees were sort of hanging over the aisle so I wasn't sort of touching people next to me. That person being my wife. So I sort of went like that. And then you've got this thing where every time someone comes past, you sort of swing them back in. It's like I'm a gate. And I was sort of talking to Catherine and this other woman trying to calm down, saying I think it'll be all right.
32:47i think and um one of the stewardesses and sort of someone else but they they had the trolley thing and they came past really quickly to get the trolley away and the bang into my legs was so fucking hard like i had tears in my eyes i was sort of like it was awful and then yeah it was a fucking they they talked then about landing the flight they were like we might have to land this
33:09Romesh Ranganathan:flight well um aiden spackman who was on his way out for the for this job that i was doing he was like um he was flying out to film by the way i can imagine aiden spacman's flight outfit's amazing every outfit he's so well yeah but he's so well dressed but i feel like such a slug next aiden spacman and i'll be an attractor and he'd be wearing sort of like look like nicholas cage in 1994 yeah leather jacket high-waisted trousers looking sick um it's uh it was a weird journey through that I think what you believe was a compliment but um uh he took his plane got his plane got diverted because somebody could smell burning plastic on it what yeah they had to land like halfway and then they'll have to get off the plane and they had to check the burning plastic thing it was quite couldn't they check it on the plane I don't know apparently it's procedural to land in those yeah if you if you can smell burning plastic burning plastic is one of the worst smells here's a tip for you if you're in if you're on a flight and you're sort of going over city that you quite like the look of just tell one of the the staff that you're uh you smell burning plastic i think i think there's got to be like you've got to look around who else can smell burning plastic it's like bio isn't it if you say who else can smell bio a lot of people go oh okay because they don't want anyone to think it's them i mean i've never ever heard those words said out loud who else can smell bio and and it came to your mind's eye so quickly that i think it might be something that's in your life more regularly than it is for the yeah i've had it i've had it since this is how i imagine it happening tom who else can smell bo that was exactly let me ask you this who else can smell be can you smell bo tom no tom listen listen listen a lot of people making this conception i smell can you smell can you smell bo can you no i can't actually i can yeah yeah i can smell it but it's not on me come and smell you can sniff me snip my armpits yeah no i i listen i i think i know what your armpits smell like from here tom uh no let's clear this up because what would you say a lot of people think you've got bo no no you get that i i i think if i'm in a cut enclosed space and there's a smell of bo i think i'm on the suspect list yeah i think that's fair i think i mean that yeah i've got a look of somebody who could smell a BA.
35:30Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Anyway, I'm not going to start going about how paranoid I am about a BA, but the problem is, you know, it's a real issue. But let's clear this up. You've never smelled a BA. You smell delicious. I've never... You are one of the best-smelling human beings I've ever smelled in my life. That's very sweet of you, but I was going to say the same about you, actually. Not the best-smelling. But, no, you always smell great. I'm only joking. You always smell wonderful. It's like I've described meeting you as that you go into a field, and then you go, I'm pleasantly surprised by the smell. Yeah, like a field that you think is going to smell.
36:00Romesh Ranganathan:This is not how I expected this field to smell. No, you can smell the flowers rather than the cow manure. Yeah, exactly. You can still feel there is cow manure about, but... You're just hoping the wind stays in one direction. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shall we do an email? Let's do an email. We've only got time ready to do one email, because because that's how life works out sometimes this email is from the dragon I'm gonna ask you this question and I believe whatever you tell me did you search Thundercats you lost and okay you under the impression that Wiley that snarf was a dragon stuff was half cat half dragon right we'll see yeah he He wasn't a normal cat.
36:52He had more about it than a... He wasn't a normal cat, I thought. Sniar! Wow! Are they making a Thundercats film?
36:58Romesh Ranganathan:No, I hope not. What was... Snarf? They're making a He-Man film. Yeah, that looks fucking shit, brother. Well, sorry. I have just prejudged that. I've seen a lot of photos of people capturing He-Man filming, and it looks like they bring He-Man, like the other one, where he comes to our dimension or whatever. I don't want to see that film. No, I don't. Snaff, whose real name is Osbert. Did you know that? No, I didn't know that. No. I never saw his passport. Comes from the planet of Snaffs. So it's like, I don't know how respectful that is, actually. Sorry to get slightly sidetracked. But if you left Earth to go to another planet, and they just called you human, it's a bit out of order, isn't it?
37:48Well, I mean, you'd have to be able to be someone who could take that kind of fucking accolade and that pressure.
37:53Romesh Ranganathan:And then you just... That is a naming convention that relies purely on there not being the arrival of another Snaff, doesn't it? Yeah, but that's also a nickname, isn't it? It's probably people... You've got to remember that they probably, in the planet you go into, they struggle with your actual name. It's an affectionate nickname. This description, this can't be real. This is from the Thundercats wiki, right? I'm just going to read this to you. If you thought... I'm amazed that this is Snaff's backstory, by the way. Sorry to get sidetracked. Snarf, his real name is Osbert, comes from the planet of Snarfs.
38:22Romesh Ranganathan:He was Lion-O's nursemaid back on Thundera when he was a boy. Oh, wow. Even though Lion-O is grown, he still worries about him to the point of being overprotective. In a way, me and you are like Snarf and Lion-O. In what way? Like, I'm Lion-O and you're a Snarf. Fucking hell, of course.
38:40Romesh Ranganathan:Except you can never activate the fucking eye of Thundera because you never get the words right. give me sight beyond effervescent in addition he lectures him on a regular basis although he behaves fearful at times he's been known to save the thundercats on numerous occasions prove himself to be a valuable part of the team this is the bit i've never i don't have any recollection he claims to have been a commando participating in the great snaf rebellion wow the snaf rebellion i mean if he's the commando jesus anyway sorry let's get let's do this email don't expect you to read this out this is about a really clear dream i had about tom last night people talking about their dreams is often boring to hear i agree but this one was so clear and uh thought you guys could discuss if tom would do this sort of thing i was in tk maxx with my wife and children the kids were going wild in there my youngest was kicking and bouncing balls all over the gaff then i saw tom in the corner with his daughter this is the dream by the way tom he saw what was happening came over as if we had recognized him he said hey guys what a little pickle we have here laughing about my daughter we said yeah she's always doing this whilst laughing oh god tom then offered his cheek to my wife while saying hi i'm tom but like proper stuck his cheek out for her to kiss him hello yeah then he shook my hand and said hi fro are you warm then we talked about kids in shots for about two minutes then he fucked off does this sound like something tom would do wrong thanks one love the dragon now already i'm going to tell you this dragon straight off the straight off the bat tom doesn't look happy about this email okay so the idea that i'd see some people frolicking and having fun in tk max which everyone should be doing tk max is it's fucking extraordinary place for the great bargains yeah absolutely long may underpaid manufacturing staff continue but anyway do carry on top the idea that i get number one even if i went over to engage which i quite like a chin wag in a place so i like the chat if someone you know but i find the kiss on the cheek the most awkward fucking thing in the world i think it's something that if i could abolish any greeting it would be that i think fucking does my head in like genuinely like a nice handshake fine i actually prefer a fist bump that's the one thing i'm taking away from covid i like a fist bump i think it's quick it's easy it's less you know yeah but the kiss on the cheek do you not i fucking hate it well i i hate i don't know what the some people like two some people like one some people like seven it's like fucking it drives me fucking mad and i feel very awkward doing it i just don't i'd much rather just give a reassurance tap on the shoulder hello mate how are you whenever i'm giving someone a kiss on the cheek the bit i'm always nervous about about sort of doing so obviously it's convention so you give a kiss on the cheek and then it's a hand on the ass but i always feel sorry is it two kisses or one i i i will always let uh the other person lead on that in fact i don't think i've ever instigated a kiss on the cheek in my life i would go as far as i don't think anyone should ever like unless you're a person i think yeah yeah yeah i think i think it always has to yeah i mean for me i'm never i'm it's never going to be me do you know what i mean no i find the idea that i go over and offer my cheek for someone to kiss also by the way like my daughter at the moment's going for a phase where she doesn't want to kiss me on the face so the idea that i mean that's fucking i get it i'm fucking i'm cool with that but it's well it's not really cool with that it's quite a fucking soldier string some mornings give me a kiss goodbye.
42:19If we did you ever do the school drop off? And I went to grace just this morning when give daddy kiss on the chicken. She went no. And I went what she went, you're annoying. And I just walked into the school. I was like, Okay, in front of a lot of other parents, which I don't argue with any of those okay. Yeah, that's her right to decide. Pretty soul destroying moment. And one other dad just laughed. I've got to say, I mean, I've always liked it.
42:47Romesh Ranganathan:But the more I hear about her the more i'm going to really love her i mean it shows a real she's got a real good judge of character isn't she yeah yeah she thinks her old man's an absolute dork
43:01Romesh Ranganathan:tom it's about that time my prince could you please take us out the ting ribbons and bows and yeses and nos what we're talking about see presents come in many different forms, some wrapped in beautiful Christmas paper, nay, birthday paper, or even a Valentine's gift wrapped in heartfelt paper. Some gifts come in one of those little bag things, a gift bag I believe they're called, big heart on the front, nay, say that friend, a bird picking its way through some berries. Truth is, presents, however, aren't always physical gifts. Sometimes a present can just be a nice word or a text. That's made me feel bad.
43:50Sometimes a present is even the presence of a present person who's just present with you and you feel their presence. In turn, you give back your presence, submit it together in a conversation. Very important. I guess this is what I'm saying. Don't go away for Christmas or birthday, Valentine's Day It's Easter, friend! Have an egg But tomorrow Is another important day Why? It's another day For you to give someone Something Don't mean something to them A kind word A pat on the back A handshake Isn't that all the presents we need?
44:29Romesh Ranganathan:Thank you so much, Tom That was really, really Thank you Really lovely JT, could you play us out With a little bit of a song That I rediscovered recently Rub You The Right Way by Johnny Gill. Do you feel? Anyway, thank you so much for listening to Wolf and Out, and thank you to anybody that's coming to the live shows. We look forward to seeing you by this time, by the time you hear this. We'll have done a lot of them. We'll see you next time. Love you. Bye. Boom. You feel the magic in my hands when I touch and rub you the right way.
45:21Romesh Ranganathan:If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.
From the publisher
We’re talking… running thin on material, under-promoted performances, desperate Insta videos, an amazing live show in Birmingham (thanks to all that came!), owl jokes, Tom’s back injury controversy and a grilling from a Daily Mail journalist about it, an extreme case of manspreading on a plane and rowdy behaviour on flights. Plus, some background info on the Thundercats and an email question about cheek-kissing in dreams.
For questions or comments, please email us at wolfowlpod@gmail.com - we’d love to hear from you.
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