S4 Ep 44: Wagyu Burgers & Rom in NYC

0:03Yo, what do you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last request to steady your nerves Them podcaster body parts get severed and serped Bring your weak shit where the wolf and owl are That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they're rolling with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear is a huff a puff and a...

0:35Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in this song's about you grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog hello and welcome to another episode of the wolf and our podcast uh recorded under i would describe as for me certainly challenging circumstances uh i it's for me a lot of responsibility on my shoulders yeah i mean it's very difficult to commit wholeheartedly to what we're saying because um I would say the chances of this ever being... I feel confident. I feel confident. I've sort of got that Gordon Ramsay bounce that he's got when he's just about to turn the restaurant around.

1:19I've got that bounce. There's problems. There's problems, sure. But if we simplify the menu, get them on board. Have you... By the way, the simplify a menu thing. Thank you for getting me out of what was clearly an inability to do a Gordon Ramsay. It was actually all right. No, but what you did was, you were in the trenches with me there, and you're like, okay, this boy's bitten off more than he can chew. Can I just say, I spent four years working with Liam Hurrican, who does the best Gordon Ramsay ever. It's very hard to watch anyone do Gordon Ramsay after you've worked with Liam Hurrican doing it, because he'd become...

1:56Anyway, Liam Hurrican, shout out, incredible. But you know when he'd go to your restaurant, and I love Gordon, and I actually quite respect the fact he's doing Burger King burgers now. um of course you know i have my i have a running battle with burger king no no no i know i know twice yeah anyway so i've made my fucking thing with burking i'm not i'm not you know but i actually kind of respect that he's coming down and he's invented a burger for burger king i respect that how much involvement do you think i mean he had in in the development of that burger if you think about it like he's got to put his name to it so he knows it's got to be of a certain quality um yeah but he's the trouble you've got your trouble you've got and you know this bro because you've been you've actually done this you've you've had your own pizza line uh where was that you had it yard sale yard sale shout out yard sale right i think gordon's idea of what the burger will be is pretty incredible right it'll be amazing right it's a wagyu burger right yeah and for those of us that aren't into uh meats could you explain what's so great about of Wagyu, please, for people that are morally corrupt.

3:08But what I will say is Wagyu, a lot of the time, gets advertised as being Wagyu, and it's not. Wagyu beef has to come from Japan, I believe. Okay. So, you know, there's a little bit of infringement there. I'm not sure if Gordon is using the Wagyu that he uses in some of his top-end restaurants on this burger. It can't be from Japan, can it? I'm just going to Google this, just because I don't... The thing I'm saying is there's a lot of miles on that meat, is what I'm saying. Does Wagyu Burger have to be from Japan? If those of you listening who are experts, that's the traditional pronunciation, Wagyu.

3:43Oh, okay. No, Wagyu. Wagyu does not have to be from Japan, but the highest quality Wagyu is from Japan. Okay. So if they turn around and say it's high quality, it's a good chance it's not. Okay. Okay. Is it all right? But I mean, look, you know, you're... It's tender, it's beautiful. I remember the first time I tried it, I was actually with Jamie Redknapp. he introduced me to it he eats it every day no he doesn't he lives on Wagyu Jamie Wagyu Redneck if he was still playing now he'd have Wagyu on the back of his shirt yeah or something along those lines so so I think with the idea that Gordon's got is it's going to be really premium it's going to be amazing I will tell you I probably at least once a week will have a Burger King and a services on the way back from a gig or film here's a big crunch have you had a Wagyu burger from Burger King I haven't had one yet because I don't like I probably will have one this week I actually might have one tonight because we talked about it and I'm very impulsive as we know yeah well I'm amazed that you've not left the podcast to get one now to be honest with you I might have a look on Deliveroo for lunch but I will say that the trouble is that it's like he's like the general right and his soldiers are out there on the front line you know Telford Services whatever other services there are other services Cobham Cobham Cobham by the way is high end and there's a McDonald's at Cobham Burger King Hold on hold on hold on the higher end services have McDonald's that's not true Mate I don't think so but I know that Cobham is probably the best services one of the best I've ever been to Oxford is beautiful I mean you're playing fast and loose when places like Teabay exist but anyway go on so so So I think basically the trouble is the soldiers on the front line in these services, when it comes to like 10, 11pm and they've got a knock together a Wagyu burger, is it going to have the same commitment to taste?

5:46And is it going to be the same level of other? I think the truth is that, in my opinion, you're going to have a little bit of an issue with customer expectations, right? Yeah. Because what people shouldn't expect is that you're getting a Wagyu steak level of meat when you get a Wagyu burger from Burger King. And that's the problem Burger King have got for them. I think Burger King have created a slight problem for themselves. Do you think what's happened there is Gordon's gone in, Cocker the North, he's doing the little jumpy thing on his toes, he's rubbing his hands together and he's getting all excited.

6:20What? Okay. I don't think I've ever heard Gordon Ramsay call Cocker the North, but no, go on. and then he's basically just gone, okay, yeah, okay, yeah, I think what we're going to go, I'm not going to do it actually because I'm there, but we're going to go for wagon beef and no one in the room wants to argue with Gordon even though they're thinking we can't afford that and it could destroy us as a franchise. Gordon, we can't do 35 quid burgers. Gordon? Gordon? People come into our restaurants to, and listen, I'm fully aware that I'm playing very fast and loose with the word restaurant but people come into our restaurants in order to buy something and avoid regret as long as they possibly can they're not going what we don't need is moments for them to reflect on what they're doing and there's a certain price point at which you start to go oh, do I actually want this?

7:15And then someone's just going Neil, Neil, we'll call it Wagga and it'll just be normal old beef Don't worry, Neil We have to charge more for Wagga, just put two quid on it just put it up it's good put the Ramsey tax the Ramsey tax yeah it'll actually reassure them that they're they're getting something better

7:35mate I'd shout out Burger King I'll actually think one of my reflective happiest times sometimes if I've had a good gig post gig I'll be sat with Grazio or Jim your brother in a Burger King a time of reflection sometimes we just eat quietly we just just slowly sort of like yeah it didn't say that to me tries that strategy well your brother by the way is the only person I know who has a three-course meal at whatever fast-proof place he goes to. He's insane. I adore him for it. He has a three-course meal. He's the only person who goes into McDonald's and Burger King or KFC and has a starter, main course, and a dessert.

8:10I remember my meat-eating days I would have a chaser. Filet-o-fish chaser. Mate. I still have a chaser. Still have. My go-to is... Chaser is like... That chaser is like... It's a big old chaser, isn't it? That's the problem. Eating without noticing you're eating is a bad habit, I think. Mine is a double quarter pounder chaser. That's where I go. That's your chaser? Yeah, the quarter pounder chaser. I fucking adore a quarter pounder. With cheese? Yeah, quarter pounder with cheese. I have that rather than an apple pie sometimes. Sometimes I have the apple pie as well. I don't know. Depends where my headspace is.

8:48What's the best one for vegan or vegetarian? at least at all? They do the McPlant, which I think we've talked about before, but I've started getting the double patty McPlant. I say started. I go to McDonald's like once every three months, probably, if that. How often do the boys have at McDonald's? So they have it once a week because they love it. So it's like a weekend treat for them. And even that I feel slightly bad about. I know Lisa feels slightly conflicted about... how come just because the whole thing of well because it's like it's it's um a lot of it's just you know you're trying to bring up the kids healthy and then the other thing is is that um then if you say it's a treat there's an argument that you are just training them to see it as the ultimate yeah you're like you're reinforcing that message that i think instead of treat you you make it it's an easy meal it's like mom and dad are in a chill one yeah i think i mean it's too late for for us.

9:47You know, we've done it now. I mean, what I think you do is you sort of, I think the best way to do it is you let them have McDonald's, but every sort of mouthful you give them a little clip around the ear just so they sort of associate it with discomfort. Do you know what I mean? Or just sort of shout abuse at them as they're eating it. So that, you know, crying as they choke down a nugget. Do you remember the time when you could like, you got old enough that you had a bit of pocket money and you go to sort of out on a Saturday afternoon and you could just go to McDonald's whenever you wanted.

10:14Mate, One of my favorite experiences of my life was when I had enough money to take my girlfriend Vicky out to Pizza Hut on Valentine's Day. Shout out Vicky. Oh, mate, my dad used, my, like, so my dad, I think I've told the story before. My dad, when Pizza Hut opened in Sutton, was absolutely, like, he made friends with the maitre d' there, right? And he used to take my mom on a Saturday night. He'd go to my granny, it was a very happy time, go to my granny grand, and spin up a McDonald's. and he'd go and I used to think my dad was like Ray Liotta out of Goodfellas the way he used to just go right your dad is a bit like Ray Liotta out of Goodfellas what in the fact he's a rat he's on the run gets paranoid when he sees a helicopter always complaining about fucking pasta sauce dad can you stop fucking chopping like you don't have to chop the garlic like that just leave it just talking like he's right now off the good fellas safe houses we had a load of them that cheese in my pocket every day where are you going tonight I'm taking your mother to Pizza Hut you just get her and come in the back door of Pizza Hut and start a couple of pints in the red line beforehand like he's right now a guy walking through with a big one of those big wooden tables clubbing people.

11:44Yeah, he, and he sort of, yeah, he used to think, and I used to think he was like incredible. Yeah, two of them used to get dressed up and head up there. No, mate, we used to, I remember like, I'm, you know, obviously, I'm like five, six years older than you, but, but I remember, we did have a McDonald's in Crawley, the nearest one was Streatham, so like once every now and again. Streatham, fuck, No, you'd have had one in Sutton. No, not when I was growing up. Not when I was growing up, there wasn't. There was one in Sutton most of the time. Wasn't there one in Redhill? Why don't we keep going to Streatham?

12:20Maybe my dad was seeing assault in Streatham. Assault? Fucking hell. Just dad going. Welcome to the podcast. And I'm joined by a daddy. My dad going, why don't you have five Big Macs, you fat little shit? I'll be back in 45 minutes, okay? Do I even... Dad, that really looks like a McDonald's in Red Hill.

12:49It's an optical illusion, son. Can I just be clear, because I'm getting paranoid now. I was using salt ironically. I don't want anybody to cancel. I don't want to get cancelled. I mean, you jumped on it. Oh, jump on that, mate. Yeah, I know you are. It's a beautiful thing, though. But Pete's art's clean. You know, we're in a Pace Pizza Hut world now, pretty much, aren't we? Is Pizza Hut closing down? They've closed down, I don't know. This is off the top of my head. I've read somewhere, I think, that they're closing down 60 % of the stalls or something. Oh, man, that's sad. Do you remember, like, say...

13:22By the way, please do get in touch if my memory of this is incorrect. But my recollection is, before Pizza Hut, our experience of pizzas in this country were the little cheese and tomato ones you got in the freezer. and they were just like little shitty, you know, like biscuit discs. Well, it was almost like a sort of mythical beast that you scarcely heard about. Yeah, and then the first time I saw a pizza advert was when they pulled the slice up and then the cheese strings were like the cheese pull on the... And I remember thinking, oh, my God. Is that real? Like, I could not believe it, man.

14:01Anyway, since then it turns out that they use glue and nails to do that. But the point is, it looked unbelievable, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. For young Roman, the young... Can I say what's insane, though? Because you're in America now. But it seems like we've only just now got to the point where you can go and buy a slice in London. There's a good place in Soho now where you can go and buy a slice. So if you are, like, just... It's not a full lunch for someone like me. I'm like, yeah, I can hit a slice up. and between even sort of like 10 and 1 or between 1 and 5 as a snack, a slice of pizza feels like that's what I kind of need.

14:39But I'm in New York at the moment. Hence, by the way, we should mention that I'm, basically I had an incident with my hand luggage. I'll say incident. I was leaving the house. I ran, this is sort of slightly embarrassing. I handed my suitcase over to Jim and I thought I'd handed him my bag. I ran in because I wanted to give the dogs one last hug. Oh, that's cute. And then got in the car thinking my bag was in the car. Then we got to the airport. I realised I didn't have any of my hand. Well, not any. There's one bit of hand luggage. I'd left it at the house. And so Jim said, I didn't have time for anybody to get it.

15:14So I just had to, like, cobble together this set up now from stuff I could buy at the airport. That's where I'm at, you know, because I'm so dedicated to the Wolf and Al. To be fair, actually, that's a good stream. What I'm quite blessed with is this camera, of tracking me, man. Oh, wow. Yeah, that is cool. It's wild, isn't it? That is cool. Sorry, I totally distraught. Anyway, that's why the sound quality might have been good. So you're in NYC now, yeah? I'm in NYC doing a show tonight then go somewhere else tomorrow which I can't remember. What is the... What's the vibe in NYC? Well, it's the election.

15:50The mayoral election today. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's going to be... What's the dude who's in the running? Everyone's like... Who looks like... He's like running... He's basically the guy everyone thinks he's going to win. What's the guy's name? Zoran Mamdani is the one that everyone's excited about. And then Cuomo's the one that Trump's endorsed. And it's... Yeah, it's basically... Mamdani's seen as super, super... Well, first of all, he's Muslim. So that's causing a little bit of a... But he's a guy tackling... He's got the best way of tackling... Because the biggest problem in New York is real estate and rent, right?

16:28I am, I'd be hard pushed to tell you what the biggest problems in Crawley are. So if you're asking me what the biggest issues in New York are, I'd like to declare myself fully and utterly out of my depth. I think the problem, I think from what I understand, I think one of the biggest problems in New York is, I mean, she's talking very much as an outsider. I'm not from New York. It's real estate and underselling comedy shows, I believe, is the biggest issue. But their rent is through the roof. how is it are you excited about going into out and in NYC and smashing it tonight well I yeah obviously it's a bit of nerves do you know what I mean I'm in a stage of like trying to push my stand up to the next level and so I think like you know I am this is getting a bit wanky now but I'm trying I feel like if you want to get better you have to take some risks do you know what I mean so that's that's what I'm going to try and do and like you know there'll be some failures along the way but I'm trying I'm just trying to get better man do you know what I mean Look at the things that I don't think I do well and do those better and be a bit freer, I feel like.

17:35I've been pasting those sign-up clips, but when I post those clips, people assume that you're pasting those clips being supremely proud of them. You're pasting those clips because you think they're funny enough, but when I watch those clips, I just think, why didn't I nail that better? I'm just out on my grind, man. When I say grind, I don't mean popularity grind. I mean, trying to actually get to a point where I think I'm good at stand-up. That's the fucking aim. I have this thing at the moment where you put up stuff. By the way, my thing is, so I saw there's a great, you know, I saw Kane Brown being interviewed the other day, right?

18:13Yeah. About putting stuff up on social media. And I probably three or four times a day think, oh, that could be quite a funny thing to put up online. And then I just don't do it because I completely go, oh, fuck it, there's no point to it. I've put up stuff as you know Tom for 20 minutes and taken it down because I just like my arse goes but then I so I had a thing like this week I was like you know what I'm going to try for a couple of weeks just actually say just stick it up there fuck it it's good hilarious I stuck up a thing yesterday that I just thought was quite mildly amusing I thought fuck it stick it up the amount of people who messaged me going I can't wait to see Rob Lane's you on this I was like I don't think this is the most embarrassing thing I've done was it what was it it was amazing Was this the seagull thing?

18:57Yeah, so basically we went shopping on Sunday afternoon. We had food shopping, which was slightly frustrating because it was during the early stages of the West Ham, like the punditry. I was missing the punditry. West Ham have turned a corner. We look amazing. Champions League, come on. If you find Tom Davis annoying when West Ham are doing badly, when they're doing great, have a little dose of that. I won't. Freddie Potts. Freddie Potts, England. Watch out. He is incredible, Freddie Potts. Anyway. To quote, Champions League, here we come, I think was the text that you sent me. By the way, it's insane because Freddie Potts is sort of almost young enough to sort of, yeah, I mean, there's an argument that Freddie Potts could sort of be like my grandson.

19:44I was at the airport at Heathrow yesterday. Sorry, I'll let you get back to your story in a sec. but like yesterday some guy took a photo with me this like really nice guy i can't remember his name he said like he was on the same flight and then he sent it to his work and they all came back and they said what a nice father and son photo it looks like and i knew i was older i knew i was older than the guy but i was just like oh my god what a fucking what an absolute insight into how people see you now is it not weird though we're praising like sort of freddie potts is like 20 I think or 21 and I'm like I'm for so much sort of adoration for him that I'm sort of constantly posting about amazing I think and he's fucking I know bro I've had this I've had this thought myself about the fact that you're getting really excited about people that are like in their early 20s or late teens it's really weird like there's no other situation I'd meet a 20 year old I've got more Adulation for like Freddy Potts For one game of football He's played Than nearly anyone else That Incredible And then me At 47 going I love Bakayo Sackle I love him

20:54You've got like Because you've got Some real youngsters Like Skelly Yeah Anyhow

21:36So, so, so, so we Catherine's like, right, we're going to go do the big shop. Right? The big shop for us, we tend to go to, like, a couple of different supermarkets. Yeah, you do, like, a supermarket crawl, don't you, for your house? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of the appetite. Because of the appetite's involved. Yeah, I get it. Not just the appetite, but also some places do better deals. I like to Google. And you, like, I mean, look, let's just get into it a little bit. You go to Waitrose, but then you say, can we go to Sainsbury's because I need to do something for the gram so that people... I could say, look, meat, veg from Waitrose, Lidl, Moetros, Audi at times but it's your best place to go for your deals on your washing project for products for all of your brand names you have to be going to Asda or Tesco that's the place to go because they do the best deals, I'm all about the deals baby I'm sure you're all about the deals but there's a cost attached to like, there's a cost to your time there's a cost to travel yeah but also I love, this is why I'm slightly, I love walking, Grace loves it as well, anyhow, I've given this cold that I've had now for the last fucking eight years.

22:39I gave this, Grace has now got the cold. So she's coughing. So that's the rest of her life now. Yeah. Based on how long you've been dealing with it. So we get, so we get in the car, we get to Audi and then Catherine, Grace falls asleep. So Catherine's like, oh, can you sit in the car and chill with her while I'll go grab the bits that we need. So now I'm like missing one of the things I really enjoy which is the big shot. Also, I'm like, okay, Catherine's in Audi I know it's horrible you've got to spend some time in the car with your daughter I get that my daughter was Sparko snoring away but Danny did that thing where like when the kids are asleep it's so adorable it's very adorable and it is lovely but so then I'm sitting there and I was just watching these seagulls and I was just thinking so I made the video and I thought I didn't put it up I didn't put it all Sunday I was like I'm not going to put it up because it's shit this makes it slightly worse actually but anyway go on no no I thought fuck it I should just stick it other people, I watched it, I genuinely think Kane Brown, I saw him talking, I was like, actually, you know what, he's got a point, and I'll fucking, I'll do it, and I'll stick it, I don't think it.

23:44I didn't have the same thing, but I had a similar thing, where, I put up a, it was Vegan Day on Saturday, World Vegan Day on Saturday, and so, I think it was Vegan Day then, I thought it was like a month before. Don't, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, No, you were talking about Veganuary, which was like this project to... I think it is... So, have they given that out there? I've not... I don't... I mean, obviously, I've not heard about it since January, but I remember it did get a bit... A lot of... Yeah, yeah. A lot of momentum is the word I'm struggling for. But I don't know what's...

24:15I actually don't know what's going on with it now. If anybody involved in Veganuary does know, can you get in touch? Obviously, if you're involved with Veganuary, you will know, but if you're listening, I mean... But... So, it's World Vegan Day. so there's this clip I did about a bit of stand-up I did about vegan cheese being shit and so Kerb were like do you want to put this clip up and I said um and I knew that it was going to get shit like I just knew that vegans were going to kick off about it and then so then you go but you can't not put a thing up because people are going to somebody might take it the wrong way like then you're not going to ever do anything you know you've got to try and like Like, at the end of the day, we create stuff and put stuff out.

24:53And it is, I don't have any problem with somebody saying, I think this is shit or I think you're wrong or whatever. I think it's fine. If that's what you think, that's what you think. Do you know what I mean? So I think that the thing is, is when you put something out like that, there's a level of earnestness inherent in that, in that you're going, I'm putting this out here for public consumption. Yeah. And so essentially you're making yourself vulnerable in a way. Do you know what I mean? So it's a tricky thing to do. but just do it, man. Who gives a shit? I thought it was funny. I thought it was funny.

25:24Thank you. And I'm sorry to all of the people that wanted me to lay into Tom about it. You know, do I think it was sad that you reflected on it for the whole of your Sunday? Yeah, undoubtedly. No, I mean, to be fair, I was rejoicing, you know, I cooked a hell of a roast. Lisa and I can't big shop anymore, really, together. Why? It's probably, I would describe it as the highest stress levels in our relationship is when we're doing big shop together. Really? Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. I know I'm saying that to somebody that loves it, so. Well, hold on, but in what sense? Elisa and I don't ever argue, really.

26:02But I would say that is, if you feel like starting an argument, go on the big shop. Two things for us, big shop, Christmas decoration. So it's a tough time of year for us at the moment. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Christmas involves decorating and big shops, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're the two things that Christmas is synonymous with. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that's what most people... So hold on, but why? What energy are you bringing? What energy is she bringing? Well, I don't want to get into issues of performative incompetence, but she brings an energy of efficiency, and I bring an energy of her asking me to get some mustard, and then she'll see me 45 minutes later, because I haven't got a fucking clue what I'm doing around there.

26:43And then you come back with arms filled with marshmallows and other fucking tricks. Yeah, and then she's like... Oh, these look nice, didn't they, girl? Do you know the jam donut's accidentally vegan? Yeah, I know. I told you that every week. I actually bought you some a few weeks ago, you fucking idiot. Rob, just stop it. You don't know what you're doing.

27:08It is a bit like that. I don't like this impression of Lisa that you've settled into. I just like the fact that it just feels such an odds with your character that we've got. stop it for fuck's sake just don't do that raise it does she ever kathy does this does she ever raise her eyes at someone like the cheese or meat counter as if to say oh this fucking guy she'll sometimes uh give me like a look but then often the look is he's like you rather than you know i saw one side and this person's on the other do you mean she'll be like there's another one of you yeah but lisa has i'd say lisa and i have the energy of um she's sort of uh handling an idiot yeah you know that that's what i would describe and also it's nice for you to you you how often what three times four times do you did a big shop well we're uh we're online big shoppers now just to save the marriage but at christmas we will be going we'll be going in you should film the whole thing like get some GoPros yeah I might do some content on it yeah that'd be so sick man just like one of those like Francois bourgeois ones on my face as I wander around and one on hers and one on yours yeah that'd be cool yeah and then you just catch a text of her just texting the PT going I'm with him again fucking he insisted on coming to Tesco just kissing the trolley boy

28:39I had an awful thing what are you doing out here last time we did a big shop Lisa wanted to park there's like another car park around the corner and she couldn't be asked to go into the main car park so she went to the car park around the corner then I had to take the stuff I didn't have to but I was carrying all the stuff around it's quite a distance to carry it all around and I was struggling a bit and somebody that I went to school with that I'd not seen for years walked past and went having a bit of trouble there aren't you mate and I said to Lisa This is what's fucking happened because of you making us do this.

29:07Why did you not park in the main car park where you get the trolley benefits? Yeah, I know. I think it was particularly busy. I mean, it's too boring to go into the details. But, you know, since when it being too boring stops us from talking about stuff at length.

29:24I'd love to know what you think about this, Tom Day. Yeah, go on, mate, baby. I was at a restaurant last night with Martin Tuesmooth in NYC. Oh, man, Martin Too Smooth, by the way. I bet he just fucking melts into New York City. Oh, 100%. Within half an hour of us being there, he bought himself a baseball shirt. I mean, the guy is like, there's one that he's been looking out for. He goes, I've got to hit up the Major League, I've got to help the, he didn't say Major League Baseball. What a fucking nerd. Yeah, I've got to hit, yeah. What does MLB stand for exactly? There might be other stores in New York that start with MLB's the initial, so I don't want to get confused.