S4 Ep 45: The Falafel Guy & Christmas Adverts

23:47Romesh Ranganathan:And also, I've now become such a regular, the guy gives me a couple of falafels to eat while I'm waiting for the rap to be done. Wow. Mate, you're like fucking, that's living the life, bro. Also, you're a big, big requirement when it comes to like vegan, vegetarian. Like a guy like him with a small business, he gets you involved, gives you a little extra falafel here and there. You're going to obviously do a post about his business. Well, he doesn't know who I am. He, of course he knows who you are. I'm telling you, he doesn't. Mate, he's flirting with you. He's doing the dance. He's not. There's no dance.

24:19Romesh Ranganathan:There's no dance. There is no dance. So you're saying to me that he's given you free falafels because you're spending so much money in his falafel store. No, but I think just every now and again, a couple of times I've caught him in a good mood and he's got some falafels in the basket, so he goes to win a couple. Old spares. Yeah. I don't think I'm the only person he's doing that for. But, you know. What is the situation, by the way, with lunch and theatre rehearsals? How does that work? What do you mean? Like, are you all going for lunch together? No. Or do you... No. I did go for lunch for Sheridan once, but most of the time everybody kind of just goes off and does their own thing I mean I don't know if everyone goes off to do their own thing Tom let's be honest they could all be going for lunch together you know that would be awful and then they're just sort of sitting at lunch going so where like can we all come up with individual stories to where we were because Rom's obviously going to ask when he comes with this big old foot long falafel wrap so we just everybody needs to sort of come up with plausible things everyone has like an alibi yeah it's just one of them going you know the sad thing is I'd love a falafel wrap but that's the one place you know you're going to be guaranteed to see the prick.

25:23You coming back going, all right, guys, guess what I've got to eat? A falafel wrap. Yeah, you know me. And now, yeah, I've just been on a call to BT for fucking hours. Yeah, no, I've had to call my bloody phone provider as well. That's what none of us have been out of this building.

25:36Romesh Ranganathan:It seems like everybody seems to be having the same home issues on the different days, because you all had gas problems yesterday, didn't you? And today it's phone. Well, you're a fine one to speak after all those falafels about gas problems. Oh, sorry, I do get a little bit windy. I think it's because I'm always getting the lard and I ask for extra tilly. Yeah, well, by the way, Martin went there the other day and he'd sold out falafels because you'd been scoffing all the spare ones. Oh, it feels like you're not really veiling your disgust for me as effectively as you might think. It's quite clear.

26:15Romesh Ranganathan:I would describe that as an out-and-out insult, actually. Oh, sorry. I was just angry because of my BT bill. Right. What was the situation with the bill? Oh, it's more than I thought it would be. I mean, I thought it was going to be£60, but it's actually£140. Right. And how is it that you're using BT, bearing in mind that company's not existed for quite a while? No, no, they do exist. I use them for my broadband. They run all the broadband in the whole of the country. You're so naive for someone who works for Sky. I don't work for Sky. Oh, you wanker. Oh, leave him alone. He's all right. Sorry, every now and then.

26:55Romesh Ranganathan:It's actually a little thing we've got with me and the director. How is the director being with you? The director's great. Yeah, really nice. Yeah. You know, I've had to... He doesn't know this, but I've had to... One of the things I'm trying to do is to be a little less kind of needy. you know one of the things that i i you and i are both guilty of is constantly requiring validation of what we've just done or whatever i'm trying to move past that as a thing and assuming that if there's a problem with what i'm doing that they're going to come and speak to me it's no way to live that just needing somebody to to give you a pat on the head like you're a dog it's it's a very human thing to do but i'm trying to stop being like that yeah i'm terrible for that Mate, I'm almost certainly, Tom, worse than you for that.

27:43Romesh Ranganathan:But I'm trying to... I don't know. It's one of my areas of development, I would say. I'm trying to... I would say, aside you, I think I've burned so many bridges with my pathetic need for people to say that was better than me. That was okay, that was in a bad performance, that was not the right thing that I've done. It's not coming from a bad place, that... No, no, I always want to do well. when you've got imposter syndrome and self-doubt like everybody has um but you are um what i've become conscious of is the fact that you are putting uh you're putting a pressure on them to you know you're giving them a job to do essentially which is to make you feel better about what you've just done i actually under fuck it i i think i so the director the thing i'm doing at the moment is a brilliant director called um m mcdonald she's great and um i did a scene and i sort of she was great she gave me some notes she told me some stuff she sort of gave me some angles on things and then i sort of panicked a little bit that i wasn't really doing it to the best of my ability and then um she was out sort of chatting to someone else and i walked past and said oh by the way like um if i'm really shit and i'm not very good you know just tell me and she was like, you're not shit.

29:01And I was like, yeah, but just tell me if there's something. And she went, I did tell you. I told you, I gave you a note. And then I felt like, I went, oh yeah, of course, yeah. And I was like, what am I doing? Why did I start this conversation? She's such a lovely person. And now I'm looking like such a big toe. And I was like, so basically then slipped off. And then that evening she called me. I missed the call and then sort of called her back frantically. And she was just calling just to sort of check in on me. But you know, she's a really caring person, so lovely. but it made me really sort of think oh my god she's had to go home and sort of sit with her partner and go oh yeah oh i forgot i called tom davis because i think he's having a bit of a lot of doubt about what he did today and like her partner going oh yeah but you've been at work all

29:45Romesh Ranganathan:day yeah but i think he's yeah yeah or she knows what it's like and she's been she's been through that you know a similar situation where she's felt self-doubt and she's thought i'm just going and give him a little bit of reassurance because that's probably what happened. How often do you think per day that you're shit at what you do? All day, every day is the truth. I think. I think. But, I mean, I'm experiencing it now doing the tour shows in the States and Canada. I'm trying to not be that person. I think when you come on... I've actually slightly become concerned about how boring this is. But when you come off stage, you're so vulnerable and you want somebody to come up and go, that was really, really good.

30:34Romesh Ranganathan:That's your instinct. And I'm trying to not need that. You know how it went. You know how you did. You know, you are fully across how good the show was. But for some reason, we need somebody to come up. And even if they don't mean it, it doesn't matter. You just need to hear the words, good boy. You did a really good job. I'm all really proud of you I adore Graz Graz is usually the best Graz said to me yesterday when I came off he went that was okay we've got quite a few more of these and we'll get it it'll be great and da da da there was some good stuff there there was some good stuff that worked he only did 50 minutes and he sort of looked quite disappointed in me you know it took me back to when you're sort of playing football as a kid and your dad's watching and you sort of score an own goal or sort of like poo-poo the ball sort of like give an assist to an opposing player I was like oh god I had a, Gratz gave me some, like, such funny feedback, and absolutely bang on.

31:34Romesh Ranganathan:I was doing a gig in Exeter, a work in progress on, it was a couple of tours ago, and it was so stupid of me, but I'd had a few bad gigs in Exeter, and my instinct is always just, I just say what I'm thinking, you know, on stage. And so I walked on and I said, it's normally shit when I come to Exeter, so hopefully this would be better let's just see how it goes i'm doing a work in progress but the last two times i've come to extra i've absolutely died on my ass but let's go and then started doing it and then after i came off stage grat said maybe um it's it's it's worth not saying to the people that have paid to come out and see you that normally it's shit and you're slightly hopeful that it won't be shit today.

32:21Romesh Ranganathan:I said, I think, he said, I think that puts you on a slight back foot. And, you know, it's a fair point. It's a very fair point. It's more than a fair point. I mean, the truth is I never should have said it, but we moved. Yeah, I've done that, though. I do, I come on stage and say, look, this could well be shit today because it's a work in progress. Yeah. Because I don't want people's expectations to be any higher than, you know, average. Have you seen the new John Lewis advert, by the way? Yeah, I have, yeah. What are your thoughts?

32:51Romesh Ranganathan:Well, as is the way now, I saw the reaction to the John Lewis advert before I saw the John Lewis advert. So I think I saw Eamon Holmes saying that he thought it was awful. So that gave me a good feeling, a good inclination that I was probably going to like it. And then I saw, I think it might have been Chris Evans or somebody talking about how amazing it was. So I'd seen two opposing views on it before I watched it. And I thought it's great. I mean, I think it's great. I think it does what it's supposed to do, which is, you know, I'm guessing the, not I'm guessing, the theme of it is supposed to be this guy used to go clubbing.

33:33Romesh Ranganathan:And then because he had kids, he didn't. And his eldest son is a typical teenager. And so it does this quite sweet thing. as a dad the bit that i relate to so much is your kids expressing their love in an unorthodox or slightly different way to what you might think and i that bit like did get me in the feels really because i've got three boys and as your kids get older they become less effusive in the way that But boys do. I'm talking about boys now. But in my experience, they become less effusive about talking about how much they love you, etc. The boys all say, I love you. But Theo, obviously, is a teenager.

34:21Romesh Ranganathan:And so he's becoming less expressive to us. Less expressive, that's unfair. I'm being unfair on him. But he's just a teenager. He's a teenager. He hasn't shown the teenager thing of being rude to us or anything like that, which I was to my mum. and I was like terrible when I got to his age but Theo hasn't um demonstrated any of that but every now and again he'll do something and you that is his way that is him sort of showing love for you you know he'll it might be it's not necessarily a present but it might be he's easily looking a bit tired and then he comes and starts asking you about your day in a way that your ordinary wouldn't because he's like clocked onto the fact that you you know he feels like it's worth unpacking you know little things like that i guess you know and i related to that in terms of your kids doing something really really lovely and i really loved the bit where he gets the record he connects with it his son walks in and is obviously happy with how he is enjoying the music and then his dad gives him a hug like real like heartfelt hug that bit to me really got me because i think you know he's just showing his son how much that means it's like a beautiful father-son moment you know um i thought it was nice yeah i liked it i like the thought that i thought just after that it'd be quite nice to sort of see them steam into a couple of grams of coke that's what i thought i would love it if they did a bit of mandy just like literally through dinner just both of them gurning yeah just in the moment when you two are nuts yeah they go out that night the only thing i'd say because i actually i agree i thought it was a very beautiful advert I thought for what it does about sort of men showing sort of their emotions especially father and son because I haven't got a son but me and my dad I sometimes feel that those moments sometimes pass us by and sometimes I can think of instances where we've been like he said something to me about being proud or he tells me he loves me or whatever but actually those really beautiful little moments i think quite a few of my mum but but when i was watching it it just uh yeah i it resonated it was a very i think i saw the hit shit it was getting i yeah not anything i i my only thing with it is there is a part of me that just thinks i quite like i suppose it's quite and it's very well done it's beautifully done but sometimes you just think they're sort of always quite sad those adverts like remember one with the bear and the butt like they're always and they're like mini movies and i i if i might uh like off the counterpoint i think that they're presented in an emotional way but i don't think they're sad you know the bear and no no no no but but i think there's yeah i'm sorry there's a melancholy about them and sometimes it'd be nice just to see but then i saw the marx and spencers one and that's just actually fucking shit show so is that the dawn french one yeah yeah the thing it's dawn french but it's it's a legendary character but But I do think, I get what you mean.

37:26Romesh Ranganathan:I think the bit in the nightclub is a bit, I mean, I've got to preface this by saying I'm a thick man. I'm not the smartest. But it did feel a bit like when you see him and just his son in the club, what is the point that's being made here? I didn't get that bit. But then when, I think father-son, it's interesting that you talk about your dad there because I remember, you know, my dad, as you know, my dad went to prison and my dad did a lot of, he unintentionally, not unintentionally, unintentionally or intentionally or whatever, but hurt my mum quite badly in terms of the way he conducted himself.

38:06Romesh Ranganathan:And after my mum and dad, like, reconciled, and we had to rebuild our relationship, and I saw probably the best of my dad in the way that he interacted with Theo. when Theo was very little, I saw my dad being really loving to his grandkids. And it was an amazing thing. But I remember from my dad's 60th, he carried a sense of failure. In fact, I'd say it's fair to say that he had imposter syndrome about being a dad and husband after everything that happened. And when he came back into our lives, well, not came back into our lives, but when he wanted to reconcile, and he and mum had some really great years before he passed away.

38:50Romesh Ranganathan:But I think he carried that with him, that he had let us all down. And that didn't, I thought it had gone, but it hadn't gone. And the moment that I realised it hadn't gone, he was on his 60th birthday. I wrote in his birthday card, you're an amazing dad and I love you so much. And I'm so glad that you're my, I'm so glad that I've got a dad like you. And he opened the card and he struggled to not just start crying immediately. And he actually said to me, is that what you really think about me? And I remember that moment, it felt like he had suddenly got this sort of validation that he needed, not validation, but reassurance that we still loved him.

39:36Romesh Ranganathan:You know, I feel like he felt like that he just sort of let us down in such a bad way and that we just thought bad of him after that. And I didn't, you know, he's a flawed individual, we're all flawed. it's horrible when you find out when you first find out that your parents are not perfect, it's a difficult thing and I found out my dad wasn't perfect in a really drastic way, in a relatively drastic way, but anyway the reason I tell that long story an arguably uninteresting one is that Do you know what I was about to say it was actually kind of beautiful here and there I think it's like that honesty and you know, you sort of saying that I've, yeah, I sometimes feel like as a son, like that's, I've lacked that I've lacked sort of moments of like I think it's very interesting you know we probably go deeper than we we would but like I remember like not not even that long ago I remember like you know Grace was born I remember sitting uh with Catherine and my dad and my mum and my mum I was talking about work or something and my mum said oh you don't know how many nights I just lay a lay a weight crying just thinking what's he going to do with his life what's he going to do because you were just you you just you didn't ever sort of feel like you know you were laboring you felt like you were just never you're floating you know and she said yeah as a kid that's a worry and then it wasn't really until that moment i quite realized that how much stress undue stress that i put my fat my my mom my dad and my sister through yeah and katherine to an extent i think i think that's the sort of and and listening to you talk about your dad like that it sort of i guess resonates a bit that you know you want to hear those things because yeah anyway the point is is is you're right and and and the point is is that when i watch the advert it's slightly tapping into those it's it's unlocking those feelings the the real big argument is does it make me more likely to shop at john lewis and the answer is no yeah I mean that's that was kind of my point my point was that if they were like you know come and get like fucking I don't know some some crockery if they were doing two for one on Alison Limerick then that makes sense you know yeah but then that's not really their job anymore is it they're there to no it's an event it's an event it's an event I'd say that John Lewis isn't what it used to be anyway like when you go no no no but when you go to John I love John Lewis by away.

42:04We have family days out. I like the little cafe. Where's your nearest John Lewis? I'm not really going to say it's because people fucking...

42:11Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, no, you're right. People might wait at the John Lewis on the off chance that you go in. You're absolutely right. Well done for being on top of security.

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43:20Romesh Ranganathan:Legally, we can't say drinking Storm makes you smarter and more focused. But with zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine, and immunity support, you're smarter and more focused for drinking Storm. Storm, good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life.

43:39Romesh Ranganathan:You know, speaking of what's nearest, it's been explained to me that there is absolutely no way that the Streatham McDonald's, which I talked about, was the nearest one to us. It was an insane thing to say. I'd actually say it's one of the more controversial things it turns out I've said. Yeah, I would arguably say it's one of the most ridiculous things you've ever said. Yeah, a lot of people have said to me, how could it possibly be the Streatham one that you went to? Yeah, Red Hill was literally... And also the one in Merston, sort of... Look, all I'm telling you, look, I don't know... By the way, I was a guy who...

44:10I know every McDonald's because I used to know the closing times.

44:13Romesh Ranganathan:Sure, but do you know the years in which those McDonald's were open? What I'm asking is, do you know when I was 10 years old there was a McDonald's in Merston? No, I pretty much definitely knew there was one in Red Hill and there was one in Sutton. I'd have stayed in my house on it. There was one in Red Hill when I was 10 years old. Without a doubt. I mean, I was saying that you're like five years older than me, so maybe not. Okay. Please don't do that, because you're like Donald Trump here. You keep saying stuff enough so that it becomes truth. I think, I would almost guarantee that McDonald's in Red Hill was open when you were 10.

44:46Romesh Ranganathan:Right. But in that case, I don't know what's going on. And also, it's quite a quick train ride from Crawley to Red Hill. You're there. Well, my mum and dad used to, once, I can't remember how frequently we did it, but once every now and again, we would all jump in the car and drive to Streatham McDonald's, sit in and eat. I don't know what to say to you. To be fair, that's kind of nice. That's kind of nice. Yeah. I mean, my dad used to do the old thing of driving down some quiet roads and then slow down and then go, Oh, no, I think we've run out of petrol. What are we going to do? And then we go, Oh, my God, Dad, Dad, only kidding.

45:22Romesh Ranganathan:And then he'd carry on. It was his favourite little thing to do. He loved it. My dad used to do the turbo, where he'd just sort of press the button and go, oh, God, we need to get there. And then he'd just put his foot down really quickly and just sort of... Yeah, my dad did this thing where he's like, I'm thinking about seeing another woman and leaving you behind as a family. And we're like, oh, dad, dad. But it turns out he really committed to that bit.

45:47Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, bless, bless. Anyway, the John Lewis advert's great. I've not seen the... I've seen the M &S one as well. but the m &s one i tell you what i do like about the m &s one is it makes you feel christmassy yeah yeah yeah it does but then i'd argue it's on too early but it's that christmassy everyone's christmassy now how christmassy is it where are you not christmassy at all where i am actually that's a lie the hotel here is is fully that i'm in now is fully decked not fully decked out but when you come in to the reception they've got a big tree and stuff like that and then we went to the hotel bar last night and had somebody on the piano it was like baubles around the bar and stuff.

46:26Romesh Ranganathan:It did feel quite Christmassy, actually. In fact, it feels very Christmassy. Oh, that's lovely. Beautiful. Yeah. I did two shows in Toronto. Do you know that you're not supposed to... I got this message from people that came to the show. You're not supposed to pronounce a second T in Toronto. So it's not Toronto. It's Toronto. No, it's Toronto. That's pretty cool. I'm going to Toronto. I don't know if that was a Canadian thing, but I think apparently Toronto sounds jarring. I was about to say Toronto. The fact that I've said any of this out loud is as much of a mystery to me as it is to you, by the way.

47:00Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, to write, that's what a podcast is, baby. It's learning. Yeah, that's true. Would you like to do a couple of emails? Let's do it, baby boy. Riding off into the sunset. Hit me with some beauty. Okay. Dear Wolf, Owl, Cat and Swan, Romy and Tommy, what can I say? This is from the Woeful Woodlouse. Whoa. um romy and tommy what can i say my wife the sleepy sloth and i've been enjoying the podcast for years and regaling together about what happened on the latest episode has become the very bedrock of our marriage wow that's amazing my favorite memories which incidentally are probably some of your worst include the wolf holding his girlfriend's handbag while she went on the rides then being abandoned by her whilst getting beaten up outside a petrol station the masseuse who rode on his back like an excited jockey or tales of the owls many fashion highlights through the years.

47:51Romesh Ranganathan:I'm sure you look pretty fly in your bandana period, Rom. We were recently at the live show in Newcastle and I have to say on behalf of the whole city and Betty Featherstone it was an amazing show and we hope you'll come back again. With regards to Betty Featherstone, it's very much if you know, you know on that one. Those of you who are at the Newcastle show will know exactly what we're talking about. Get off Betty Featherstone. Betty F. Betty Featherstone. That's a lovely email. What a beautiful... It's not finished. Anyway, on to my question. I was recently listening to Rom's side piece podcast, The Romish Ranganathan Show.

48:24Romesh Ranganathan:And during an EDF Energy ad read, couldn't help notice that he employed the Wolf's trademark Rom impression voice when saying, can you plug an EV into a normal socket? So hearing that, I'm wondering how much of the sweet EDF purse will be winging its way to the Wolf's bank account due to creative licensing considerations? And do you plan to employ it on any future commercial endeavours? Thanks again for the laughs. All the best to you, sweet, sweet souls. Well, this is quite true. I don't know what the legalities of this are. First of all, I didn't really, I actually did. I've got to hold my hands up here.

48:54Romesh Ranganathan:I did realize that had happened after I'd done it. Yeah, but also it's me doing your voice. So I sort of, like, lawyer-wise, I haven't really got much. Who owns the creative behind somebody doing an impression of somebody? I don't know. I mean, the impression is very, like, I'd be devastated if I wouldn't be able to do that impression. And also, I actually think you've started doing the impression as well. It's not better than I do it now. Because you really commit to it with the sort of. Well, the other thing I'd say is that when you did Rick and Morty, didn't you do that voice for Rick and Morty?

49:28Yeah, I did.

49:31Romesh Ranganathan:So actually, the stronger question, I would say, or the more pertinent question is, am I owed some of your Rick and Morty? Yeah, but then also, I could counteract that with saying, you've done my whole voice for the fucking Chicken Run 2. Well, I refute that. My God. Can I say, by the way, it's like we were at a garden tent the other day and they had, do you know, are they doing toys with those rats? Yeah, I think so, yeah. I know that there's a video game. I've just done a thing for the video game. Yeah, so I'm sure they're toys, but Grace saw this rat and she went, oh, Uncle Romesh, Uncle Romesh, because she loves that chicken run too.

50:05And I was like, yeah, yeah, that's not quite, yeah. I'm not sure if that's the actual rat, but then she sort of like, oh, then she was cuddling it. So I was like, I don't know if you want a toy rat to sort of house, but she's got one now that she calls Romesh. She's got a toy rat that she calls Romesh? No, it's like the one from Chicken Man. It looks like your character from Chicken Man.

50:28Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. Does it definitely, or she just got pointed at a rat and said, that's Uncle Romesh? No, no, no. No, it's like, it looks like your character. Because you sort of talk to her about my kind of behaviour and my general demeanour, and now it's like a thing in your house that if somebody does something ratty. it's actually no no no it's it mate i was like fucking hell i hope he's getting to pay for this because at least three kids were holding them you were like literally like sort of catnip so i don't i don't think i i didn't negotiate percentage points on any i mean first of all the yeah of course it's a massive blockbusting film that mate yeah but nobody's buying that first of all i didn't come up with the character second was somebody else voiced it before i suppose yeah because it's Yeah, it's not your image, is it?

51:09No. Who did it in the first film?

51:10Romesh Ranganathan:I know Grace seems to think it is my image. Who did it in the first film? Timothy Spall did and Nick the Rat in the first one. Oh, wow, OK. Wow, they're big fucking shoes to fill. Timothy Spall's a legend. Well, they're tiny, actually. Rat's feet, though. Oh, I think they're Timothy Spall. Waka, waka, waka. Spall-o. But listen, I'm more than happy for you to do that voice whenever you need. Likewise. Okay, should we do one more email? Yes, let's do it, my brother. I really got worried about my complexion. What's wrong with you? I look like a tomato. I look like I'm about to explode. It's only something that I've got any air going through my nose.

51:50Romesh Ranganathan:That's just fucking... Hi, Wolf and Al. This is from... I'm actually going to leave this... I'm actually going to leave this anonymous. Okay. Yeah. Hoping you'd be interested in talking about the subject dealing with raising teenagers in a digital native culture. I'm a barely tolerated parent of two teenagers I just published my first book as an unknown author It provides an honest and gritty insight into the relentlessly hurtful year Raising two very different yet similar teenage boys It covers the daily events with humour that is at times amusing, suspenseful and endearing So there we go, we've got a little book plug there I hold a great love for my children who no longer wish to assume their role in my life Referring an abrupt advancement to adulthood That while hard to expect is essentially inevitable Oh, this is quite...

52:33Romesh Ranganathan:you'll be horrified to know that I called out off menu as a sanity saving resource in the acknowledgements in my book. I'm really, really confused as to why we've got emailed about this, to be honest with you. But hopefully, we're more pleased to know that both your interviews with Ed and James were amongst my favourites, which I've listened to more than once. So that's good. So he's not really a fan of this podcast. No, just the other one. But does quite like our appearances on one that they prefer. So that's nice. I thought if you took a look at my book, it might spark some podcast content on the harrowing reality of raising teenagers that your listeners might enjoy and you discuss with humour.

53:05Romesh Ranganathan:The book is called 1512. Love the podcast. Probably the ages of the boys, I'd imagine, Rob. Fucking hell, you are sharp today, aren't you? What time is it over there in the UK? It is 3pmpm, baby. Okay. Well, that's pretty impressive stuff from you. Well, first of all, I think that what's actually happened here is, and first of all congratulations on your book but i would say that we're probably the third favorite podcast for this book to be mentioned on i think what's clear is that you love off menu secondly you're talking about parenting yeah so parenting hell and what's happened is is you've probably sent it to all three neither of them have read them out because they've got a lot more on and uh you've i was about to say you've lucked out you've had the diminished honor of being referred to on the wolf and our podcast i i don't i i think you've i think this might be um i think this might be spam actually i think this might be book promoting spam because tom you know tom you've not got a teenage kid have you so it's quite tricky for us to i mean neither of rob and josh actually and actually neither of james and ed so in fact i'm the only one involved in the whole so she could have just fucking DM'd you on Instagram for any kind of, absolutely, yeah and she might have done, I'm so ill-disciplined in checking my DMs so she might have done if it's possible but look, you know, what I would say is while we're not going to get into an in-depth discussion about raising teenagers in a digital native culture I will tackle two of the things that you said, first of all congratulations on having a book that's amazing I've got nothing but respect for anybody that takes something and also you've done like what six books now four four okay so i'm still struggling with one yeah but when is your book coming out by the way probably 2035 okay well i look forward to that i wonder if there'll still be books by the time you bring yours out i've got it's the thing when we're talking about i that is the thing i have the least amount of confidence in right we've talked about this uh very privately but it's the thing that makes me weep.

55:19I'm like, this is an absolute crock of shit. And I don't have confidence in anyone. I don't even know what it is. It's like literally taking a horse into a market and saying that you've got a cow for sale. That's how I feel about this book. Everyone else who's involved in this wants a cow, but I've only got a horse, and no one knows what to do with this horse. I feel completely, yeah. And so now I've just got a horse, some sort of like just walking around with thinking oh this is you know i actually feel

55:51Romesh Ranganathan:sorry for the horse should have a better owner yeah i mean it's it's it's it's gone on for a sufficient amount of time that it's difficult for me to know what this analogy means essentially but um what i would say is if you were if you are walking into writing your first book feeling supremely confident about what you're creating then you're suffering from a level of delusion that i can't even that that needs tackling so the fact that you are having doubts about it is actually pretty healthy i won't worry about it not i won't worry about it worry about it the healthy amount is what i would say yeah the other thing i would say is um look you've written a book on this so you're much more of an expert uh than i am but um i hold a great love for my children who no longer wish to assume their role in my life referring an abrupt advancement to adulthood while hard to expect is essentially inevitable if i could if i might offer some advice um i think life as a parent becomes a lot easier when you stop assuming that your children have any job to do for you they don't you know I think you brought that you bring these kids you bring these kids up and then you react to however they however they respond and they don't really have a job to do your kids don't really have a job to obviously you want them to be polite to you and consider it but in my opinion i think that expecting your kids to offer some sort of role in your life is is only going to lead to misery i think it's you know your kids are your kids you brought these humans up you bring them up as well as you can and then the reward that they give you is going on to be great adults you know that's uh i think expecting anything else from them is uh is arguably uh you're you're in a hiding to nothing really and then when they do do something really lovely or they do decide to take a role in your life going forward it's a what a lovely thing you know beautiful thing but you know i don't know i've not written a book

57:45Romesh Ranganathan:okay tom yeah while i kind of deal with the fact that i think i've been more earnest than i possibly would have liked on this episode why don't you you know what you've been incredible on this one this is this is one of my favorite versions of wrong the earnest wrong i love it more that more so than Party Rom? No, I mean, nothing's better than Party Rom. I do miss Party Rom. What about Red Bull Rom? Both those two are absolute fucking Machiavellian love pots. I think we should do another T-shirt. You know we have the T-shirt with all the versions of Rom? Yeah. And then there's one where it's just me like this.

58:17Romesh Ranganathan:Ernest Rom. Yeah. Ernest Rom. There you go. That's the Ernest Rom. Like Tony Robbins. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Right, Tomo. Okay. Take us out, my G. Hmm. That's guy. Looking nice, baby. looking good chill in the air kids laughing joking adults tucking in some mulled wine nay hot chocolate there's a little bit of cream on that marshmallows sir i think so it's funny isn't it community coming together what for just to look in the sky and see the whiz bangs the pops the bangs the fireworks all about the fireworks going on below family squabbling and arguing friends falling out teachers raging at a parent who's not returned a letter or an email truth of the matter is it's easy to look up at the sky and marvel at those lights that noise it's hard to look down amongst you and go that's a firework in itself but the truth of that is maybe I'm wrong maybe the fireworks aren't the arguments maybe they're the moments of joy the yelps, the shouts that I've got it, you scored a goal, why not Bradley I love you dad truth of it is, fireworks are an amazing thing but yet we talk about them like they're bad I like fireworks I love them, the more than fireworks I enjoy joy have a good one French really really nice Tom thank you so much it was it was an interesting kind of strategy you took with that one it was yeah it was yeah it was well look you've done it so JT could you please take us out with a little bit Kendrick Lamar I was re-listening to this album it's 11 years old this album To Pimp a Butterfly well worth your time but the song King Kunta please can we play that and thank you so much for listening to The Wolf for now we really appreciate it thank you friends thank you we really love you take care of yourselves and each other stay well bye bye

1:00:52Black man taking no lust.

1:00:54Romesh Ranganathan:Bitch where you and I was walking. Now I run the game, got the whole world talking. King cutting. Everybody want to cut the legs off. King cutting. When you got the yams.

1:01:09Romesh Ranganathan:If you have a problem, opinion, feedback, or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you. mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.

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