S4 Ep 46: Theatre Rom & Cranston Pickle

28:16But he's just, I'm acting with him, I need to probably do a little less here. Bring it down a little bit, because this kid's acting me off the screen. He's phenomenal. Tom, like it's yeah, he's really, really special talent. Well, I think you're probably doing yourself a service, Tom. We know how talented you are. You know, you're angling for some sort of assurance. No, no, no, I'm not. Well, I can tell you as you know, you're an exceptional actor. One of the best comic actors I know, one of the best comic actors anybody knows, you know, you've been responsible. Do you know if you took me Thursday night at the Channel Awards, you probably would have arguably said i don't know if this guy's ever performed before well you know i i know that you had a a sticky corporate the other night um i'd say there's sticky like that to be fair like the corporate corporates are the corporates and and there's well let's talk about this incident because the corporates are corporates and whenever anybody says to me like if you get if somebody approaches you in the street and they go oh you're romesh aren't you and you go yeah and you have a little chat then they go i saw you at these awards it's like i feel like they're saying oh i once saw you with your pants down because inevitably yeah you know that they've seen you have a torrid time trying to entertain a bunch of disinterested people basically seen you eat a big fucking pile of shit so so but this is this is a level beyond that isn't it yeah but also i do get it with corporates it's not about you you can't have to let your ego go it's quite humbling you go in it's about them it's about their night you're just there as a you know to do your stand-up and hand out some award anyhow so part of the corporate thing is that you you do the awards the people come on stage you give the awards and then you do a picture on stage right so i i'm doing that and i i give an award and these this these group of lads come up and one of them's like sort of circling the stage like he wants to like kind of wants to fight he's just circling like it's like you know when someone just you're like this guy there's something here like and i sort of then go because i'm at the end and i but then he's circling around and i said do you want to do you want to get in here like for the picture and he went fuck off mate fuck off just we don't want you in the fucking picture mate and i went okay well all right that's fine then but the was he He was so fucking like, I don't think in my life, I struggled to know a time when someone's been quite so aggressive for apparently no reason.

30:52I mean, unless he just really hated some of my material, which was quite an offensive pap. And I said, okay, fine, man. If you don't feel comfortable with me in the picture, it's fine. He went, just fuck off your c**t. And I went, all right, bro. I said, like, I don't want to be in your picture. That's a part of my job is to be in the picture, but there's no need for this. and he seriously with the fucking look on his face looked like if someone went oh here's a gun just put this comedian out of his misery not even put him out of his misery like he just looked the disdain and the hatred I've never seen it I was like wow like this is fucking like and a couple of his mates were like alright to the guy being angry alright yeah sorry apologise to me I was like look I'm fine I will tell you now wounded I was like I bet you were, because the truth of it is, is when you do a corporate, you don't want to do the photo.

31:47It's awkward, right? And also, you know, the people booking here, they're always very nice, but they'll go, and we really know, you know, can you step in for the awards and do the photo with them? Because they want it for their photos when they do the report on the event or whatever. And some people want the photo for you. But not everybody does. Like, we know that. We're not that arrogant to think that everybody's desperately to photo with us. You don't want to do the photo, but you're doing it because you'll be so the idea that this part of the job yeah if the guy had said to me sorry tom this is about us tonight yeah is it okay and i'm of course the real the real thing to do is go tom do you mind if we do one with you and one without is that all right and you would you wouldn't even batted an eyelid to be to be like one i'd like the picture thing i'm like i get it if you didn't want a picture yeah i i'd make a joke during a corporate and go every one of these pictures feels like it's a wedding picture and you're a guy going who's that there's that oh Do you remember Kelly went out with Steve and he was at our wedding and he's now in all of our pictures?

32:43I've got wedding pictures with people who have fucking went out with friends of mine and now I don't talk to them. They've got dumped about a month later and you're like, now I've got a fucking wedding picture with some random guy who no one even fucking knows anymore. Thank God for fucking taking someone out of a picture. It's about these people getting an award. I get that. I'm fine with it. I'm like, look, you don't want me in the picture. Have your moment. It's fine. but but the aggression i was like and and you know that thing where you're like similarly to you i've i've been in situations where like things have become aggressive and like i was like wow this guy the hatred like hate like pure like i was like this guy's like what is it what's gone in here like what is his situation how much how much of you was worried that he'd seen king gary mate mate i i couldn't principally put down what bit of my work had offended him to the point where he looked like he wanted it yeah it was horrible man i was like that and by the way the look in his eyes told me like oh this if this had been anyone else i'd have happily had the picture but for some reason has a personal that's in your head i i think i think with the thing with corporates is in my opinion in imho is that um a lot of these guys are like that for them it's their big night of the year and yeah you're focus pulling by being the comedian and a lot of them might be like the funny person at the office or whatever and what they don't want is some comedian trying to be funny on stage like that's like a they find it sort of some of them i've had it before at corporates where they just find it offensive that you've turned up and tried to be funny like they just don't want it they don't want you and so that's what's happened, that guy's like he's probably the funny guy at the office and he's just like I don't want to fight I would say that he was the bully of the office but those often go hand in hand as I know from hanging out with you for a bit

34:47you were proud of yourself with that one you took a little lean to the side my guy oh my god that was smooth anyway did anybody say anything to you about it afterwards yeah the guy running it comes up and was like what happened because a lot of people clock what happened it wasn't it wasn't subtle yeah and I was like yeah I said what he'd said I was like but then in my head I'm like maybe this and he went I've never ever seen anything like that before and I was like lucky and Grazio was there and Grazio was sort of sort of stunned by it Grazio was very good in those moments I think Grazio would be a great you know like when you see I was at the boxing last night but when you see boxers lose and you see like they're corner man or like they're sort of giving them a cuddle Graz is great when you've had a good gig he's almost better when you've had a moment like that but the other thing is you didn't lose you know I mean like it's not on you it's not a failure in your part that this guy's behaved like he has and I'm hoping fingers crossed that guy's thinking about his behaviour then and regretting it but you know by the way no no no no you know some people you think oh that's drinking drugs yeah and and and tomorrow morning he will have that awful feeling of waking up and having anxiety about like the moment because none of us are perfect all of us have been drunk and you know have i been drunk and said something i regretted or being a fucking absolute prick or just the alcohol could you know of course every one of us is yeah we're all at the gary rap party but anyway go on you are such a twat but but he i can tell you now this bloke right this guy was evil to his very core if i saw in a year's time that he was a serial killer i would go yeah that makes sense he there was no empathy or humor or anything with him there was just evil that ran through his life like genuine like there was no even humor when he went fuck off to me it was like pure hate like when i can't describe it it was like just mean just vile well you know he's probably got something going on but also do you know what i look at it and i'm trying i've taken some inspiration from you with meditation things that you said to me i'm like you know what i had to deal with the shit that's in me that for that evening that was pretty shitty for the next day it's pretty shit i go out and do a gig i spend some time with my family i talk to you about it and i let it go like genuinely it's done he's got to live being that person that's on him i mean the truth is is that um those it's no reflection on you i think the ultimate aim is to allow those things to never not affect you at all who cares what they got you know that that guy's behaved in that way for whatever reason you know there's lots of reasons that he could be like that for all you know i know he could be going through just an absolutely torrid time and this is his way of like getting some feeling some sort of power you know like he sort of felt yeah yeah you know that that's his way of doing it and i'm not saying it's right but there's all sorts of reasons that guy could have gone through a hundred things that have made him that have led him to behave like that and it's not right it's not yeah but can i just say like i'm a great reader of this right when people have been through shit and there's that there's an aggression that comes through that there's a vulnerability and a weakness.

38:13I don't know if you, have you been watching Danny Boy 83? I don't know if you've watched any of him. Yeah, I've not, I've not watched him as religiously as you have and I certainly haven't been posting stories about him but yes, I'm aware of his, I was about to say work, but it isn't work. He's sort of documenting any of his ongoing adventures. Yeah, I'm aware of the guy. So I've been, I've been watching him just because he comes from, Can you just give a bit of context for people that might not know this? So this is a guy who, he calls himself the, I mean he's a disgusting human being in a lot of ways.

38:40Jesus Christ. No, no, no. He calls himself the Brass Father. He's a cocaine-taking guy who travels the world as a sex tourist, essentially. He's sort of our age, so it's a real sadness to that. I mean, if you break it down, because I know quite a few people who know him, and there's sort of a lot of stories you hear, and he's not particularly... So my point being with him, right, when you watch his videos, what's quite interesting in this in the world that we live in at the moment he's completely unfiltered he says awful things but that's why i think people like him right he's making yeah but also there's also a vulnerability to him there's a there's a like when i don't know how much you've watched but he falls out he gets on coke he falls out with nearly everyone he's around he implodes and then you can see the regret and you can see in his eyes that he regrets these things yeah There's a vulnerability to, and even when he's being like angry about situations and how he rants, you go, okay, this is someone who's, who doesn't know, like, he's like, he's not cold.

39:44It's all very hot. Do you know what I mean? His emotions are completely peaking all the time. So, and I've spent a lot of time around different inclinations of men and alpha men and how they deal with emotion. And you can see where people are like, there's a vulnerability and people want help. but also when people are cold and there's an anger to it like when people have been through a lot there's a there's a hitting out there's a thing of going right you can't control those feelings but when it's mannered and it's cold and it's fucking that that's a deeper thing that that goes into something and so i'm not saying that there's not any kind of like deep emotional because there's clearly that to be that that fucking nasty for want of a better word but that's not about like, oh, I've been for, I might be wrong, been for some recent aspect, like this goes way back and the defense in me and the anger in me that's so fucking deep-seated, it's cold and measured and that's what I mean and I, when you read stuff about people who become, you know, whatever, that usually is the thing that takes place because it's something, it's trauma that they're dealing with from a long way back.

40:47But I do think, so that coldness. If you're confronted by something like that, it's in your interest to go, you know, I don't need to get the better of this guy i don't need to win an exchange but also it's better to walk away because that that fucking situation man is like like someone like that is just like there's no getting through to i'm a fucking i'm a fucking wally who tells jokes for a living there's nothing i can fucking do to get through that if it made him feel a little bit better to make me feel like that fucking bad and pathetic then go on man just that's that's on you go and have your fucking moment but that that sadly just yeah can i say actually in a world of where where you see people i don't know if you've seen chris eubank talking um you know i watched the interview after the fight yeah i did watch it yeah like he chris eubank and the turnaround chris eubank's done in his career but and and i'm glad for connor because i think connor can go on to to do very special things and and in in the world of boxing now but the way chris eubank talked after that fight i think is it was just the humble nature of how he speaks it's pretty amazing to be honest yeah it was incredible yeah he sort of basically so for people that don't know chris eubank jr and not and connor ben had a fight last night their second fight and uh connor ben i mean tom you know more about boxing than i do but connor ben basically outclassed chris eubank there was something going on there i think with eubank but yeah anyway yeah but but connor ben won and then in the interview afterwards, Eubank was just, I don't want to talk about me because I don't want anything to detract from how good Conor Benn was and I looked for something, I didn't have it and he was really, really great and I respect him and he's a great fighter and all that.

42:29And it's amazing to see him talk like that with such an absence of ego but also, in light of the fact that he's, you know, they've been trash talking each other non-stop, you know, and... For five years. Yeah, and this is something that goes back to their dads, you know, And so for him to, in the wake of that defeat, it would have happened so soon after the fight, for him to be able to take a step back and be that humble is like, it's almost as impressive as preparing and being in the fight is the way that he conducted himself afterwards. It's an incredible thing to see. It's amazing. I can kind of say the incredible thing not to see was some of the fights around us last night were fucking terrifying.

43:13I mean, this is one of the things that puts me off going to boxing, man, to be honest with you. I was there with Catherine and we were like, there's a fight that broke out. You said that Cat got into a bit of a tear up, right? What happened there? Yeah, that was... Someone trod on her trainer and she just went crazy. Yeah, she went elbows in, right? Yeah, she fights with her elbows. She fights like a T-Rex, short moves. Yeah, no, she's feisty. It was terrifying. Yeah, I had that when I went to watch Tyson Fury against Didion White. whenever that fight happened years ago. And it was the same thing.

43:46Just like, it was just like really leery. You felt like you could get into it. If you wanted to, you could get into a fight in a heartbeat. That's what it felt like to me. The edginess of walking out of the stadium, like to go home. You could just see people looking around. It was a Tottenham, wasn't it? Yeah, it was a Tottenham. That's everything in it. But so it was almost like, anyone interested in a fight? I fancy a fight. I don't need any reason. Just waiting over here at the corner here. yeah if anybody wants a life changing if anybody wants a life changing tear up where like 30 seconds sort of ruins the next six months of your existence and yeah let's do it

44:30should we do some emails tommy let's do it my baby let's do it my king okay this is from the nerdy badger once again if you do have emails wolf i know there's a thing at the end it sounds like the a team but wolfalpod at gmail.com uh hello wolf al cat and swan i'm a huge fan of the pod i'd like to thank you for the joy you bring every week well thank you very much it's very sweet of you as a student of german history i wanted to point out that in the early days of the nazi party there was a guy who was a friend of hitler a fellow party member and leader of the palominitary wing who went by the name ernst rom oh wow he didn't last too long as he was murdered one night in 1934 in a purge of the nazi party and what became known as the night of the long night of long knives wasn't it yeah yeah anyway well done for uh being slightly behind the game there anyway just wanted to let you know in case you were considering making up t-shirts rather much with a similar name on it i loved ernest rom that we heard in season four episode 45 i wanted to hear more of that guy but i don't want you guys to be cancelled keep doing you you sweet sweet souls i i was thinking actually reading that so he's worried that ernest rom is going to get confused with ernst from i think we lean into it yeah i think we you know we really go heavy Nazi on the memorabilia, you know?

45:42What do you think? I know it's an edgy move, but... What are you doing? Like a hail? Hold on one second. What's happened? I'm just dealing with my dog. Ivy? Ivy, come here. What are you doing? Well, Ivy, out. Come on. Off you go. What's she doing? She's just coming in here and looking very much like she wanted to take a piss on my rug. Oh, wow. She was starting to assume the position. They think here is outside because they're not allowed here. Oh, really? so when they come here they think they're doing the right thing by pissing in your fucking office I've had it with Reggie once I'm not having it with Ivy she gave me the look as if to say I'm going to go for it anyway thank you so much but what do you think Tom about that merch idea I think it's a good merch idea also I do miss Ernest Ron Ernest Ron was beautiful it's a really like beautiful thing I mean we've had so many different inclinations of Ron yeah theatre Ron by the way is really fucking it's almost like he's a guy that hasn't really found his true identity and he's just walking through sort of code switching and pretending to be whatever he was required to be for a certain situation and actually there's no authenticity about him at all.

46:45Actually, if he had any integrity, he'd pick a lane and stick to it. The fucking loser. Anyway, as I said, don't talk yourself down. It's all about being positive. Do you know what I mean? Okay, let's get into the next email. This is anonymous. Okay. Dear chums, my good lady and I moved to Australia in September. I used to live here. G'day, mate. Good. And I have a bunch of good friends from here when I was at school, and she's always wanted to live here but doesn't really know anyone. Long story short, we moved here just before her birthday. I'm not using her name out of a wish to remain anonymous.

47:19And invited about 20-plus mates to a surprise party, all of which turned up and we had a great time. However, we just had a housewarming party today, and most of the same crew turned up, and again, we had a good time. But when things were wrapping up, two of our mates were arranging their plans for tomorrow. It turns out another mate of ours, who was at my partner's surprise party, is hosting a surprise party of their own for their partner and we haven't been invited. Given they're also immigrants and we've invited them to everything we've planned, it feels a bit shitty that they've completely ignored us for this one.

47:47It's a brunch as well, so they wouldn't have even had to pay for us being there. Anyway, are we right to feel a bit put out about this? On one hand, I don't give a shit. What they do is up to them. But on the other hand, I feel like they know what it's like moving country. It would be no skin off their back to include us or at least invite us, especially after we invited them all in our group plans. what do you reckon cheers chaps tom sticky one what do you think my g well it's a number one i i think the person they say we don't give a shit but i get the thing they've emailed a podcast and i think they probably do care i think yeah there is a certain quantity of shit given isn't there let's be honest yeah yeah i personally i think it is a shitty shitty situation to find yourself in I think number one, like if you're like the new sort of, like you've had these two quite, you've had the sort of two quite two big parties and there's an argument that they could sort of like start worrying that you're taking the sheen off things.

48:46what you start realising the older you get that within groups of people people find their place and when any new sort of person comes into the group or there's a sort of slight change of dynamics it makes people quite edgy and I always think it's sort of, you slightly find it with, we're now just getting into a situation with starting school when you start to meet other parents and stuff that everyone's just trying to find their lane and find out who they are. I mean, we're constantly doing that in life anyway, you know, as new frontiers and new journeys begin. And I think what will happen in situations like that, I think there's a lot of like them, so they turn up at your party, even potentially if they, you know, because they don't want to miss out because they realise that you're now sort of becoming a sort of part of a group and they haven't really got any much control over the fact that you've had these parties, you've had a surprise party and they're sort of turning up and playing that part of the game, but they do have a control in whoever comes to this surprise party.

49:51I think it's shitty behaviour. I think it's a bit juvenile in a lot of ways. I think people deal with a lot of problems and things like this just thinking for their own self-preservation without thinking of the repercussions it has on others. I think that we're all slightly culpable of that, I think. But when people do things like this, it's their own, them thinking okay right well let's us try and have some sort of control on this thing and we want to be this cool couple of having the surprise party and we're quite a bit intimidated by this so let's keep that at an arm's length and it's it's a sad it's a sad way of being i think it's a weird thing because that then has a ramification on you both and you start you will start like as much as you say i don't really care about being there and everything if everyone else that you're and you're in a new life and you've got new friends around you and it and there's vulnerability to what the position you find yourself in and and you should by the way also sound that out and not it's the thing i've i've spent most of my life going oh it's fine i don't worry i'll go along with it it's cool yes yeah and actually not articulating that actually i know that does feel pretty shitty or well no that's helped my feelings and i think the therapy has taught me one thing it's even if you don't say it to these people because you don't want that uh confrontation but at least admit to yourselves and go that feels shitty that feels fucking and actually why aren't we going because we should it would be nice if we could go to that rather than well we don't want to fucking go anyway because that will in you that would spark a sort of animosity towards those people that isn't healthy so if you could be up front and open about that it feels shit and you can discuss it between yourselves you're kind of just dealing with that yourselves and next time you see them you've dealt with that and it's gone rather and you're you're going it's kind it's cool it's cool it's fucking yeah it's cool we don't know it's fucking fine it's fine it's cool it's cool and then we see them you've got this thing in your pit that it put your stomach that is just an anger that can't go and the anger sort of grows and eats away at you and we've all got those little balls of anger that that manifest over the years and the best thing to do for your health and your mental health and physical health is try to have as little amount of animosity or anger towards others as you possibly can let it go and move on anyway um yeah uh i i uh thank you so much i sort of agree with time and there's uh i do sort of agree with tom but um look first of all um i think both things are true in the i think my okay if i summarize what i think i don't think they've done anything wrong but i also think you're okay to feel a bit put out by it the reason that you feel put out by it is that you've just moved there and you're nervous about your place in society over there and so you're feeling very fragile and vulnerable about what your social standing is and that's why you're put out by it but what I would say is I think that it's arguably you're assuming the worst in this you moved there in September they might have organized this brunch beforehand but you might have found out that they haven't done they might just feel like they don't know you well enough to invite you to this brunch it might be that there's like a specific circle of people that they're inviting and you haven't made the cut and that is okay you know i i think that one of the things one of the habits that we fall into is when you're not invited to something or not included in something and i've been guilty this and that's the reason i'm able to talk about it in this way is that and everybody is is we just go oh they must not like me or they're leaving us out or they're doing something vicious or they're doing something mean-spirited but the the truth is the more likely thing is they just didn't think to invite you they don't know you well enough and it's a closer circle or whatever and i don't think it does you any good to get bitter about it i think just accept it you know i think that and i know that's difficult i'm saying in a blasé way it's not easy to do that but that is the that is the healthiest thing to do is to just go we've not been invited to that we're not going to not start inviting them to stuff because we're doing some sort of revenge thing we're just going to behave as normal we don't know what the circumstances are for the reason we invited it and you don't even need to mention it it's just you didn't get invited and that is it's as complicated and as simple as that and all you've got to do is continue being yourselves and ideally what will happen is you move to a point where they do start thinking we must invite them because we like them so much but i think that if you allow this to fester as tom said if you allow this to fester it suddenly becomes this could easily become a thing that becomes a problem with you too if you allowed it to you could go right well we're not inviting to Arthur we're going to invite everyone apart from them and then they think why have they not done that and then then you have an argument or whatever you know it could become a thing it could really become a thing do not let it become a thing you didn't get invited it's as simple as that and and it can it's nothing it is nothing and I know that's easier said than done but the truth of it is is this doesn't have to be a thing and you you know let it go as tom said just let it go it's it's not worth your time and energy it sounds like you know you're having parties you've got i mean having 20 plus mates to cut turn up at a party you're laughing man i mean what what a wonderful situation to be in i've got 20 friends i could invite no i can't think of 20 people i could invite to a thing so so you know just be happy with that you know don't look at the negatives look at the positives and good luck to you.

55:23I hope it all goes well. Go well, friend. There we go. Tom, it's about that time, my G. Yeah. Could you do us the honour of taking us out of this little thing we call podcast? Yo, New Frontiers. Wow, space is scary, friend. I'm not talking about space. I'm talking about challenges day to day. Just looking across the screen and I see a guy who's quite a little bit bigger, taller even. He's challenging himself to do something he's never done before. Sometimes those challenges can be big. A change in career? Thank you, sir. A change in history? I believe so, ma 'am. Your forefathers could have told you anything.

56:08But one thing that I always want to tell you is cherish the little moments that you have right now. Sometimes challenges can be life-changing. Sometimes they can just be mood-changing, moment-changing. I'm gonna cook some cupcakes cupcakes you've never cooked cupcakes I know what a time to start I think challenges are like footsteps sometimes you don't know how hard they are until you can't do them no more and that's the truth every day should be a challenge something small something intrinsic so you can pat yourself on the back and go hey Bill I did that Sarah I nailed it and you know what before you know it that person you used to be will be someone looking at you going how did you get so fucking cool believe in the challenges believe in the process and enjoy the journey wow really good thanks so much thanks so much Tom great stuff um can I do you mind if I take this opportunity to give myself a plug here Tom is that all right yeah my uh new new tour Romesh Ranganathan will change your life the show where I attempt to change your life is going on sale next week so if you've got any interest at all in coming along please feel free to you know sign up to the main list and all that I can't wait to see what this is by the way this sounds like it's going to be inventive it's going to be different from anything I've ever seen before and I'm excited it's not going to be different from anything it's a challenge it's not going to be different from anything you've ever seen before let's just get that out of the way but I am attempting to change people's lives that is true so you know By the way, if you want to come to a stand-up show that isn't changing lives, it's just an indulgent hour of a dickhead telling self-deprecating stories, tickets for Spudgun are also available at bigtondavis.com.

57:57Yes, please do go to that. It will change your life. That will change your life, in that, you know, you'll go to a show. Yeah, you'll feel better about yourself. Yeah, that's... You'll go, oh, God, I'm not such a loser. Yeah, well, I actually do have something about me in a way that this person I've played to see doesn't. And that's true of both of our shows, actually, I'd say. Could we please, JT, play us out with um i had heard loads about this album and then i started listening to it the other night and it's it's pretty it's a pretty mad record it's one of the most like uh honest like open uh it's lily allen west end girl oh wow can we can we we should have done a whole thing on this by the way it's a fucking banging my god man that record can i say lily allen lily Allen is like burst onto the scene right yeah I think it's fair to say back in the day and everyone's kind of you know fucking great actress doing a brilliant podcast with Mercator Oliver yeah brilliant but like almost like you just go oh maybe she's just like music's just something she's not going to do anymore like she's so multifaceted and so talented and all of a sudden it's like an uppercut just comes and smacks you on the chops and you're like oh fuck this person still can smash it.

59:12It's really good. So, JT, please play us out with that. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. We very much appreciate your time. Stay kind, stay divine, people. I'm going to fully admit something. I started this podcast bragging about the eight hours sleep and that I defeated jet lag and as it's gone on, I've increasingly discovered that I'm absolutely exhausted and I'm probably going to go to sleep straight after we log off of this. So, thank you so much, guys. Take care of yourselves. Take a video of you sleeping for us all because We all need to see that. Bye. Bye.

1:00:11Awkward, made me feel a bit awkward.

1:00:21If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.