S4 Ep 49: An Email Extravaganza!

24:05I've not finished the sentence.

24:14Go ahead, sorry. That was uncoove. Jesus. That was outrageous of me. I feel like I've taken a dog poo on your hypothesis. Yeah, they might say I'll pick it up from now on and then I would say that still feels unacceptable do you know what I mean it doesn't sound like you want that so you'd have to say look I don't think that's going to be alright can you is it possible you get your dog to go somewhere else and then you could say something like I understand if it might happen well actually I wouldn't maybe I wouldn't open that door maybe I wouldn't open that door alright alright alright every time I start to say something compromising Tom starts to look angry yeah but you've not been in this situation before no you're right I'm here with the koala No, I get it.

24:53I get it. I get it. I feel there's a kinship between us. Yeah. But also, I didn't handle it in a very good way. I'm conscious of that. And also, I knew I should have done better. Yeah. I wish I'd been more affable. Yeah. So, Koala, just, you know, open up a discourse, but, you know, make it, be, you know, chill about it, I guess. Don't beat Tom. Also, there's a good note. Well, you can beat Tom. Tom's a great guy, but you know what I mean. Yeah, no, don't beat Tom. Not in this situation. in some situations well not many but to go okay that feels like a you know friendly decent way you know I let the poo overtake me yeah it dominated you yeah you were dominated by poo yeah okay here's another one this is from the tall walrus oh nice could be the tallrus couldn't it oh wow 8.13 and my guy got some nice puns First pun of the day.

25:53Don't normally leave it this late for my first pun. We're usually in quicker with a pun. Hi, Wolf and Al. Short-term listener. Big fan. Standard question. I'm a 32-year-old Irish male living in Europe. I yearn for a meaningful relationship slash partnership but cannot seem to find a partner. All my close friends are in medium-slash-long-term relationships and I feel the odd one out. I do dating apps, have some connection but don't feel... don't truly feel comfortable taking it forward. It doesn't help that people keep telling me it'll happen when you least expect it, like it's some kind of double slit experiment.

26:29What does that mean? I don't know. I've never heard that expression. Can you Google double slit experiment, please? I've done it. I've done the work, therapy, and good physical health. Do you like that? Giving you a little task? Yeah. I've done the work, therapy, and good physical health, good career, et cetera, but somehow I'm still stuck. I feel like I've missed the boat when people were single. double slit experiment yeah yes now it seems like most people i meet who are great are of course taken any tips beyond put yourself out there keep trying etc any frameworks or something okay uh tom okay a double slit experiment is a foundation is a foundation of physics demonstration showing that light and matter exhibit both wave-like interference patterns and particle-like discrete hit properties, illustrating wave-particle duality, a core concept of quantum mechanics, famously performed by Thomas Young for light in 1801 and later extended to electrons, revealing that particles seem to pass through both slits simultaneously and know about other slits unless observed, at which point they act like Simple Park.

27:40I mean, that is literally just a collection of words that I've known. can I just go and chat I know I hate going on chat GBT but I'm just going to explain double slit to an idiot ok imagine if you're throwing tiny balls at a wall with two doorways in it if the balls go through the left door they hit the wall behind in a line if they go through the right door another line two doors, two lines, easy even a drunk pigeon could follow ok okay this is negged by it yeah now i place the balls with electrons tiny particles little specks dust with actually actually problems what you find them at the same wall with two slits what have you trained it to be like

28:27you've managed to make your chat gpt a twat

28:39what are they it responds to what he thinks he might like so this is you've created this absolute fucking helmet and what I like with those guys who goes to get dominated and beaten up by maybe I mean I've never known chat GPT to sort of speak like this but anyway go on you fire them at the same wall with two slits and suddenly the pattern of the screen behind looks like stripes, lots of them why? because electrons are making waves not just dots, they're interfering with each other like ripples in a bathtub so you're thinking alright, maybe they're messing about with each other in a way, don't let them talk send them one at a time, amazing idea friend oh god you fire them one by one and they still make wave patterns each individual electron behaves like somehow went through both slits at the same time like it's hedging its bets already insane with a question mark so let physicists go right let's watch them put camera on the slips to see which one the electrons actually use and the elections go oh you're watching cool cool cool i'll stop doing magic then now the wave pattern disappears back to two normal boring lines.

29:53Okay. I think this is sort of a very smart way a washed kettle never boils or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so this guy wants to know how to meet someone, right? Yeah. I mean, it is hard because... And I actually completely understand with that, like, it'll come along when you least expect it or you're least wanting it. And in my case, that was very true because with caffeine, it was out of nowhere. But I feel like an old man talking now about like, I've never used any apps and I don't know how any of that stuff would work. And I guess I know how it works, but I don't think it would have been a good thing for me, apps, if I'm honest with you.

30:47I just don't think, and I don't kind of, I know that there's some very happy people we've met like that way. But I do think like, and I think we've said it before, is getting out into the world and I guess having new experiences and surrounding yourself somehow with people and just being quite present in situations. And it's a hard thing, isn't it? Because I guess me and you are both familiar. You met Lisa at work though, right? Yeah. So my meeting with Catherine was very like, in a situation where we're both in the same restaurant at the same time and just happened to speak. And then from there, 13, 14 years later, we are where we are.

31:32But I guess it is that situation. I don't think the Tall Wars has asked for us to show off about our relationships. No, no. But my point is, I don't know how these things happen. I think apps are actually quite good because you can lean into them. but I do also understand that they're not always the way forward. It's very hard, isn't it, to sort of... And also, I think, I don't know if this is right, but I think the one thing that apps and stuff do, or this modern world, I think people don't give things a chance necessarily. Like, I think it's very quick, a bit like anything now, right? Like Netflix or any streaming service.

32:12Amazon Prime. Yeah, Disney, Apple. For many reasons, they're incredible. But also there's a situation where you have everything at your... You can watch anything you want at any given second. You can start watching it. Like years ago, you'd go to Blockbusters and you'd rent A River Runs Through It. And even if you got 20 minutes in, you'd go, I'm not really into this film. You'd watch it all because you'd rented a video. Now we live in a world where you put A River Runs Through It and you watch 10 seconds and go, oh, this isn't for me. And you just start watching Batman Begins. Do you know what I mean?

32:43like the world the world people have are you saying that cat is the river runs through it no but what I'm saying is feels like that's what you're saying so what I'm saying is you I think I'm probably the river runs through it right okay but what my point being is that I think that you like actually meeting someone and you're everyone says about first impressions but actually meeting someone and giving someone a chance and seeing someone three or four times when I look back and think like I think it's a mirror I don't think you should watch Riverlands through it three or four times, do you? I think it's an incredible film, by the way.

33:17I don't want to use that as like it's a bad film, but it does take some time to get going. By the way, on this situation, I will say that... You know when something... A picture came up of my memories from 10 years ago, right? And I looked at this picture, and I was like, what was Catherine thinking? right I'm going to show you the picture this is a picture

33:47it's me and Rob Beckett 10 years 10 years ago it's you looking up Rob Beckett's bodyguard yeah what is that where is that photo taken it was like a panel show run through but look at look how I'm chemtoned I don't think I don't I think you're being harsh on yourself I think you look lovely oh come on Ron what I look so weird that was my smile back then it's like what is going on it's difficult for me to sort of tackle this because to me that's the same bloke that I'm talking to right now I don't know my point is that I know for a fact that with me and Catherine you meet and there was something I guess more going on but I think you're actually giving someone time to get to know someone and going out on a few different dates and like you and Lisa The first time you and Lisa bumped into each other by the coffee machine in the school staff room, was there sparks?

34:46Probably a few. But did it grow over time? Yes. And look at you now. Yeah, we're on the other side of it, sort of fewer and fewer sparks.

34:58No, I kid, I kid. The thing is, so to Walrus, there's a couple of things. You're not really going to like my advice massively, I don't think. But your friends are saying to you, when you don't stop looking, it'll happen when you least expect it. But the thing is, part of the problem is, first of all, you're only 32. I know that feels old to you because you're 32, but you're actually very young. You're a kid, baby. You're too young to be getting panicked about this, I would say. And yes, there are a lot of people that are pairing up and getting into relationships. but um that doesn't mean that you have to be it happens at different times to different people also you know you don't have to be in a relationship we can get pressured into this whole idea of you're supposed to be hooked up by the time you're in your 30s or whatever you need to not you need to i would advise you to get out of that mindset it doesn't have to be that way and i and i'm saying that as somebody that has fallen victim to that you know because you feel like having a partner validates you for some reason but that thinking is not helpful it doesn't and you know there's lots of people that are in relationships that their relationships that because they think they should be and they're not happy so my first bit of advice for you to be is is to stop when i say stop looking i mean stop looking for a bit at least and allow yourself to press a reset button this whole process because it sounds like you're getting frustrated by it and you're getting a bit fed up and that is not putting you in a good position to potentially find a partner i'd say you've got to like put this on the back burner for a bit and throw yourself into other things you know i would try and you know because at the moment it sounds like you know you've even listed the things that are going well in your life so there's all these things that go positively for you and yet you're sending in an email sort of expressing discomfort or suffering or whatever now i understand why you're doing that but you've got loads of things going going well for you why are you focusing on the one area that you know to your mind is is is not going the way you want it to throw yourself into your other stuff you know do some other bits and put this to one side for a bit and then come back to like you know maybe getting back on the apps and stuff or or looking around when you feel a bit more refreshed by it.

37:23I think that's probably, if you're going into this frustrated, what will start to happen is you go on a date, it won't go well, that'll be another bit of evidence for you that you're supposed to be single and you're going to get pissed off. And then you're in the danger of going down the road of starting to become resentful and a little bit difficult, you know, and a bit angry about this whole thing. So try not to go down that route. And what I would say is Tom is absolutely right. There's loads of studies about the fact that, not loads of studies, but there are things that that suggests that we're starting to find people disposable.

37:54You know, you go and meet someone, and because there's loads of people on your app, you give them an hour, and then you think, there's no point ever seeing this person again. And actually, as Tom says, there's some value in, you know, seeing how things go, you know. And next thing you know, if you're lucky, you can trap somebody with three children, and then it's very difficult to extricate themselves. You know, that's the dream. but in all seriousness I would take your mind off it like genuinely take your mind off of it and I know you don't like that advice or you probably won't like that advice but I genuinely think that's the best thing for you but good luck to you Tulrus Tulrus go for it baby hope it goes well go for it

38:44okay okay ready for another one hit me up baby I'm ready My plate is empty and I need another course. Dear Gary and Stuart. Wowza. Wowza, hello. This is a King Gary fan. This is from the Irrelevant Iguana. Okay. Not sure if you two are the same, but every few months I gain an obsession with astrophysics and how our universe works. Well, you're talking to two people that couldn't understand the double slit experiment. Despite the majority of it being quite hard to grasp, I still find a fascination for it. i find the sheer scale of our universe incomprehensible and does leave my lying in bed some nights debating how insignificant we are compared to space and time during these phases i tend to listen to a lot of star talk neil degrasse tyson's podcast and a good question arose from a recent episode if communication wasn't theoretically an issue god this podcast i i just imagine listening to this podcast and feeling incredibly stupid yeah i mean at least for me.

39:42I know I'm stupid. I carried on listening to What Went Wrong, by the way, since we started talking about it. I've just got quite a few now. I just keep thinking, why am I not analysing films the way they analyse them? Why have they understood something in a way that I haven't? But also, there's stuff that you could do they can't. Mate, you're about to go on the West End stage. You're breaking, you do not... Look, do not fucking... Mate, if there's anyone I know in the world who's... If you wanted to make a film podcast and sound intelligent, I would go, fucking hell, I'll back that horse. You can do anything you want.

40:15Well, that makes this next conversation a lot easier, actually. No, I'm joking. During these phases, I tend to listen to a lot of StarTalk, Neil deGrasse Tyson's podcast, and a good question raised from a recent episode. If communication wasn't theoretically an issue and you crossed paths with intelligent life form from another solar system or galaxy, if you could ask one question, what would it be? So hard to think of the perfect question as it could change our whole perception of the universe. I think I'd ask, I think I'd ask what it used to get here as I'd love to think we could reach another system one day even if it isn't in our lifetime thank you sweet souls irrelevant iguana this guy's deep man I think he's been on like maybe hitting an edible or something before he emailed this by the way I love this vibe yeah it's nice isn't it it's good to get a little bit of depth it's probably actually worth thinking about having a question loaded in your pocket ready for aliens it's a great shot really good shot because I would worry that I'd fuck it if if he was like, I only, you only have one question.

41:12You only have one question. Who is that? That's the alien. Okay. So you think Stephen Hawking's from another planet? No. I just think that's it. I have three or four different alien voices. That's one of them. Okay. Can I hear the others? I am from a different planet. I like the taste of eggs.

41:41and then your other one please I'm a remelian the form of my life is here okay okay good sorry yeah really good so obviously for each different one you probably have a different question in some ways but why? based on their voice? well yeah but also how they look the inoffensive sort of quite squeaky one is actually sort of like quite intimidating looking right so it's like not stereotypical so I think it's good but it's probably good actually you're right because you don't want to flunk it out and go oh my god what are you like do you know what I mean like you want to have something in your head already yeah okay so what's the question what do you eat on your planet and then what if it says oh smorgles and flangerbungs then what do you do well I haven't got another question I'll go no I know so you're fucked then aren't you yeah now I've got more questions yeah that's true the idea I think the task here is to ask a question where the the answer to that question and that question alone is revealing you know what you could do is go can I ask you a couple of things yes good no no no but that's like that's like getting a genie and asking for more wishes okay I'll be the alien I think I should be the alien anyway okay you be the alien okay then you can be the alien and I'll ask you a question nice to meet you Nice to meet you.

43:08Oh, wow, that's a cool voice. I'm Zimbal from Zingle 12. Nice to meet you. Where is Zingle 12? Where is Zingle 12? Zingle 12 is in the seventh quadrant. Where's the seventh quadrant? Well, that's all your questions. Goodbye, little one. Oh, right, yeah. I'm massive, by the way, so you to me are a little one. Yeah, that's quite... That was a nice alien voice, by the way. You fucked that, by the way. You're absolutely fucked. Yeah, because I was trying to have a conversation. That's what I mean. Do you know what? That was my acting ability because I've actually completely, I was in the scene. Yeah.

43:41I was out for a run because I'm getting ready for the marathon in two years' time and I bump into this alien. Yeah. Right? Is that true, by the way, what you just said? What? Are you getting ready for a marathon? No. I'm not a bit of fucking good. That was my character, Ian Stone. Oh, right, sorry. Ian Stone. Named after the comedian. Yeah, okay. Named after the comedian. Yeah. Okay. He's 23. All right, okay. Do you want to try again? Okay. No, you want me again? Yeah. Okay, I need to be more bookish. Oh, hello.

44:17I'm Rau. Rau. Rau. I've only got one question, but there's so many thoughts I've got rushing through in my mind. All right. Are you male or female, Rau? Cut to the question, please. Are you male or female, Rau? Male. Oh, wow. Okay. sorry I only have one question so it's quite awkward now I mean it feels weird that you'd only have one question but yeah it's really strange because also you come across rude yeah I'll see you later then alright let's hi Ian how did you know my name was Ian I know everything I don't mean to it's difficult to not feel insulted when on a two person podcast one of them starts doing a role play and plays both characters

45:09right now it's your turn you're the um okay so let's imagine it's not just it's not just one question I'm gonna have we'll have a conversation okay well hold up hold up whoa whoa whoa I've just had to do one question that's what they've asked okay fine fine you can ask some questions alright hello I'm Rao Rao sorry I'm just doing a math little one big one I'm trained to do a marathon in two years. My name's Ian Stone. Yeah, you really should do like a 16-week plan because two years is a long time to be training for a marathon. Yeah, but I want to be the best at it and try to win the marathon. I don't look, based on what I've studied about human form, it's not in your future to be the very best.

45:56Raoul, tell me about who you are. That's a very open question.

46:05My name's Ra. I've got two shillabites. They're called E and Hutu. Oh, Jesus Christ.

46:22Are they your children? Are shillabites your offspring? Shillabites. Shillabites. Are they your children? Shillabites. Oh, God.

46:38I feel like we might be having children together with all the saliva I'm covered in.

46:46Raal, what planet do you come from, my fine sir? I'm from planet Mankalang. Mankalang? Is that of this spectrum? What understanding do you have of spectrum?

47:05Is that from this solar system, sir? No, of course it's a fucking not. Oh, shit. Sorry. I want to talk to intelligent life. You're clearly a fucking idiot.

47:32Okay, that didn't go very well. Okay. That's what I mean. I need to... I actually start thinking about whether there's a world where I need to be more... Just in case aliens come down here, I need to be a little bit more... Yeah. Yeah, sure. Do you want a quick round of one? Yeah, okay. Well, just quickly throw me into this. What's your account? Who are you and what are you doing? Okay. My name is Tom Billich. Wow. Creation. Yeah, I work in a butcher shop. Okay. I've just gone out back to put some stuff in the big wheelie bin that all the shops use, and I've bumped into you. Okay. Hello. How are you doing, Mr.

48:15Sexy?

48:22Hello. Are you from another planet? You bet I am. Oh, my God. You're everything I dreamed you would be and more. Hmm. I've got somebody I'd like you to meet, actually. It's called the Tall Walrus.

48:42What are you doing with all the blood over your hands? On your stockings? On my stockings? Yeah, it's your socks. Yeah. I work in a butcher shop. Oh, wow. That's amazing. Are you okay? You seem to have got the giggles. Yes, I have. I'm so happy to meet you. I'm excited. You are everything I dreamed you would be and more. So you dreamed about me before you arrived? Yes. I want to marry you and run away. Oh. What the fuck was that?

49:27it's an alien who's like a like a love alien they're in love with people okay all right fine do you have a question for me yes but if we could steer away from the sex stuff just for a second um is there lots of life on other planets as far as you're aware there's only me and my cousin jim

49:54there's only me and my cousin Jim. We're the only two people who live there. Live where? Yes, it's great.

50:04On my planet.

50:09On my planet, Barbacus. Barbacus. It's two light years away from Mars. Right, okay. So how many light years did that make it away from Earth? it took me 50 light years to get here it took you 50 light years to get here but you're two light years from mars yes that makes that means it's 48 light years between mars and here well it depends which way you go i went around the solar system i took a long way around my sup nerve is broken okay there's so much wrong with what you've just said are you really from another planet? Because I think you might just be a pervert in an outfit.

50:52I need to look more into the world of aliens. I know more about ghosts. I've actually got tears right there on my face. Tom, you're in tears now. Are you in tears? Is that what you say? In tears? Oh my god, I'm fucking full of blood. Yeah, it really made me laugh.

51:10Right, okay. Well, look, I think we should do that again, shouldn't we? Yeah. not the alien stuff but we should do email I've really enjoyed the emails actually thank you so much for your emails yeah we absolutely smashed through them didn't we did three

51:29thank you very much people for listening let me just sum up please because I need to chip but it's funny isn't it gosh aliens all these different things what do you think about do you believe or do you not? Out of worldly experiences, but actually sometimes it doesn't take aliens or ghosts to step out of your world, to step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes it's just about challenging yourself. I want to shout out someone and give them some props, because this week a very special person steps out of their comfort zone, out of their universe and into another one. I want each and every one of you to send good vibes and good thoughts to our brother, Romesh Ranganathan, who this Wednesday and this week starts his West End debut.

52:16I'm very, very proud of this guy. I adore this guy, and I have no doubt it's going to be an epic and massive success. It's inspiring. It's amazing to watch someone who has managed to do some amazing things in his career, but to do something different takes courage and sinew. So Romesh, I wish you well, my brother. I can't wait to see the show. And more importantly, I can't wait to stand in the audience and give you a sweet, sweet standing O, baby. Oh, that's so lovely, man. I can't believe you'd said that. Well, mate, I love you, man. I'm very proud. I'm very inspired by you, man. It's an inspiring thing, my brother.

52:55Oh, thanks, bro. I'm inspired by you too. I can't believe you said all that. I love you, man. I love you too, bro. I couldn't even do the hmms in the background. All right, JT, I've been listening to some, old school hip hop off the back of watching the Diddy documentary. Oh God, I need to watch that. You need to watch it before the next episode and then we can talk about it. We'll do a breakdown. But could you play Notorious B.I.G. Kicking the Door, please? In tribute to the great man. We'll see you next time. Thanks for sending in emails. Keep sending them to me. We're going to do another email special.

53:30Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye. Bye.

53:37Rappadons. Get in that ass quick, fast, like Ramadan. It's that rap phenomenon. Dan, dada. Fuck Papa. You got to call me Francis. MH. White intake like toast. Tote iron. Was told then shoot out, stay low and keep firing. Keep extra clips for extra shit. Who's next?

54:01If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.