Theme Parks, Bucket Lists and Tattoos

19:39Romesh Ranganathan:Sign up for the mailing list. What mailing list? We've got mailing lists, haven't we, John? No. Okay, well, we'll... This is... I mean, already... I'm so excited. Now, already I'm starting to lose faith in this. Mate, we could do this. You've asked them to sign up for a mailing list that doesn't exist. Yeah, but this would be cool. Okay, I think we should... I'm actually serious we should do it. I'm serious. This is mad. By the way, like, the thought of, you know, you get Bacardi Breezers, Hoochies. Yeah. mate the music will what time do you know I'll have Percy with me you've got Martin Too Smooth with you Percy's great for what time would we go from until I think you've got to do I've got to say I respect what you did the other week 3 till 9 yeah 3 till 9 3 till 9 is a good time then everyone can get off and you can have a nice dinner yeah grab a Nando's or a Pizza Express I think there should be a thing because what I do realise at this time in their lives is that some people are like I'd like to come but I'm going to come on my own.

20:36We have it with the Wolf and Our Lives. You have people. With my show sometimes, people will message me and go, I'm just here on my own. And they feel quite vulnerable. I think there should be like a support. If you're coming on your own, you can meet up with other people. There's a bit of a group.

20:50Romesh Ranganathan:No, but I think Wolf and Our Audience, it'll be fine. Yeah, I think it'll be nice. I think we'll attract the sort of people. Where would you want to do it? I think we go small. Yeah. Because we've got no idea what the appetite is for this. I mean, first of all, we're only advertising it to a non-existent mailing list. So that limits the numbers quite a bit. Yeah, but there's two rooms we need. I don't think there's two rooms. I think we go back to back. Okay. So I think we could do one room and then you and I just sort of blend sets. Yeah, okay, cool. Yeah. And then we take turns and there's like the time hour and whatever.

21:21Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, sweet. Yeah? Yeah. This is actually happening. I'm being serious. Mate, I'm all over this. Yeah, unless somebody else wants to do it with me. Hello, Ed. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no, he can't hear you. this is exciting yeah really exciting a business venture for the ages yeah yeah this is great I think we do it in Croydon yeah if you want to do it in Croydon yeah if there's a suitable venue if you're in Croydon you know a suitable venue wolfhabpod.gmail.com or join the main list and then if it works I'll tell you what we could do I'll tell you what if it works yeah we could the next time we do a tour we could then do an after party mate that'd be sick or a pre-party because yeah I know fuck knows anyway it's a good business idea yeah mate this is exciting this is exciting times have you been to Legoland?

22:03Romesh Ranganathan:yeah What did you think? What's your problem with Legoland? I liked it. Why do you say, what do you think? The queuing was insane. It's the most intense queuing I've ever done. Well, the last time I went to Legoland, we had, Lisa and I had an argument. Wow. You queue to get into the car park. Yeah. Right? And then you queue to get into the park. Yeah. And then we decided we were going to get fast track. I think it's called queue something. Yeah. so then there was a queue for that so we'd done two queues and then i was in my third queue before going on a single ride then i found i think it's called q bot or something then i found a qr code and if you downloaded that you didn't have to queue up to pay for the fast pass wow so i downloaded that and then i said to lisa i've got great news we don't have to queue here because i've just downloaded the thing and then lisa said i think she's a bit pissed off for me at this stage she goes well why have we been queuing up then oh that was her immediate response and I said to her because I didn't realise that was the situation you can buy that on the app now yeah and then she walked away from me wow because like we'd had a bit of a narc and then as she walked away there's a guy going difficult theme parks aren't they can I have a photo he'd watched the whole argument do you know I find that a weird thing by the way I said this to Catherine recently we're at a point now we can't even have a little squabble out you know even about the mildest thing because you're aware because you're so famous no no where people were watching Do you know what I mean?

23:32And you know, like, you know, so you sort of like, as soon as anything becomes a bit like, like if there's sort of like a mild argument sort of like fluffing in the air. You've got to be careful. Yeah. You've got to be, if you're recognisable, you've got to be real careful with that shit. I would say with the queuing thing, I didn't do the fast track because I was like, there's only a limited amount of things that I'll be able to go with Grace. How tall is Grace?

23:53Romesh Ranganathan:She's not, 1.4 is the key height really. Yeah, she's nowhere near 1.4. So she, so I stupidly took her my nephew and Catherine and me all went on to the water ride thing I made the mistake of getting off getting on at the back so the whole boat went like that and it was really screechy like Catherine was like I don't know if we're going to be able to get up the thing because it was so like but as soon as we went around Grace was quite excited about the water ride until she got splashed in the face by a rat by a rat? You know the rats the Lego rats. Oh right yeah yeah So she was soaking in and she was like, I hate this.

24:29And then you know that it's going to get worse and worse. So she's crying as we're going around. Yeah. Catherine and me are both quite panicked to this point that we won't make it up. Sure. Or we'll get halfway up the sort of slide to go to the big drop. And we'll fall back and sort of take out the people behind us. But it was 120 minutes for the queue to get onto this thing.

24:49Romesh Ranganathan:Why did you not fast track? I was like, no, we got there. It was 50 minutes and it just got longer and longer. So you queued up for two hours? To get on this thing. That's the big portion of your day gone. So we got on that, and then we went on this little roller coaster. I thought, oh, this will be all right. I'm on a fast track on this because the queue didn't look that big. Pretty much another hour on that queue. And no one warned me. When I got on with Grace, no one warned me the fact that it was made for tiny children. So I nearly decapitated myself from there. No one said, oh, you probably best you duck when you go around the corner there, mate.

25:20Romesh Ranganathan:It doesn't sound like, if I'm being honest with you, you enjoyed Lego Land that way. No, I enjoyed being there. Look, I loved the submarine thing. met actually two lovely Wolf and Our fans who came to our shows really nice people very kind good Welsh people I enjoyed that which is as you often say is rare isn't it no you prick what you're such a sneak what do you mean I love the Welsh yeah those two Welsh no I love the Welsh anyway carry on the Welsh are delicious people right so you've got so we enjoyed the submarine bit I enjoyed the water ride I've got to say that's why Grace didn't really like that and I know in general I like the ambience of the place I will say that I enjoyed, I like being around people, having a bit of a laugh.

26:00Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of my favorite things in a queue is to complain and have a laugh with the people you're queuing with. Yeah. Yeah, okay. At one point I ran off and got some people some drinks. That's quite nice. Did you? Yeah. I got some drinks with the people around me.

26:13Romesh Ranganathan:I went to Thorpe Park with Charlie. Oh, I love this. So Lisa, Alex and Theo went to Lanzarote on holiday. Yeah. with their group. Charlie couldn't leave the country because of the ongoing court case. No, because he was on call for Oliver. Yeah. So we had a lads holiday, like a little lads weekend. Yeah, staycation. Staycation, yeah. So I took him to Thought Park. Yeah. String fellas. I got the fast track. Now, fast track is quite controversial. I've talked about fast track on this show before. Yeah, you have. and I got abused for it yeah because it's a lot of money you know at Lego by the way you can do fast track I didn't realise until later when you're on fast track so individually yeah so I got the fast track for the day yeah I got heckled quite a lot because obviously it's annoying if you're queuing up yeah the full queue and then you see some fucking twat yeah like just getting to the front and also I'll Rommet like loads of people going oh my god surprise surprise Rommet Shranganathan's got fast track do you know what I mean stuff like that I say that, it wasn't what they said, it was Ramesh or...

27:24The Ramesh thing. I know it winds you up. But recently, like, so for your birthday, I got you a gift. Thank you so much. But let's talk about this. I'm not going to bring this up. You'll talk about it in a minute. But as a part of that gift, I wanted to have something ascribed on it for you. So I've chatted to this guy who gets these things, what the gift is. As I'm chatting to him, I'm like, oh, this is for my friend Ramesh. And he went, oh, Ramesh. I'm a big fan of Ramesh. And I went, it's Ramesh. And then he's like, okay. And then we're having this conversation and in every bit of the conversation, he's spelling your name R-A-M-A-S-H.

28:04Romesh Ranganathan:R-A-M-A? Yeah. Like Ramesh? Yeah, Ramesh. Yeah. Yeah. R-A-M. Yeah, Ramesh. And I'm going, this is like, most of the time I pick you up about it and go, his name's not that. Yeah. In this situation, I'm like, this guy's having to inscribe your name onto the gift. A gift that I hope will stay in your life for a long time. And I don't want the gift, every time you look at it, to be a... So I'm having to go, please, can you just... This is how you spell his name. Yeah. In capital letters. And then he'd come back. I'm not sure if he was joking or... And he'd go, all right, okay. And he was like, I bet Ramesh is gutted at the moment about the football.

28:42I was like, yeah, that... his name is, like, your name is to inscribe this. Like, it's what is a beautiful, what I think a nice gift turned into a fucking slap in the face if his name's spelt wrong.

28:59So up until you got it and you send it to me, I had such anxiety that he got it wrong. I think it's funny

29:06Romesh Ranganathan:that he got it wrong, though. When I look, Lisa and I had a laugh about it. No, it's beautiful. You got me this beautiful, framed, signed Thierry Henry's shirt a little inscription at the back on the front sorry I shared it on Instagram but I only showed the picture of the thing of the inscription and people thought you got me a gravestone is that what people thought? yeah or a memorial park who the fuck bought some of that? I don't know I don't know but that's what people said it looked like wow anyway thank you it's one of the nicest gifts I've ever got in my life well it was a big thank you for getting it one of the nicest gifts I've ever received in my life so thank you a very special person.

29:44Romesh Ranganathan:I look forward to pretending I'm going to repay the gesture and forget it. I don't give to receive. I said, it's Catherine's I don't, no, no. It's Catherine's 40th this year. Yeah. Do you know when it comes to presents? I enjoy giving more than I than receiving. Can I just say, that's handy. It's like compliments. I much prefer giving them out rather than receiving them. I know you love giving them, mate. Fucking hell. It's disgusting. anyway thought park fast track yeah went on all the roller coasters i am i'm starting to as i get older yeah which i have been doing my entire life but what i'm saying is i've moved into the yeah yeah i'm approaching old man phase yeah yeah old man rum yeah yeah uh you you you sort of start to think this is stupid that i'm getting on this roller coaster you know like Charlie wanted to go on all the really hardcore ones.

30:45Romesh Ranganathan:We went on Hyperia. That's the most... That is... First of all, Thought Park is sick. Second of all, that Hyperia is up there with the roller coaster we went to in Florida. That is an amazing ride. Saw can fuck off. What's wrong with Saw? That's the only one I didn't enjoy. It's like... It's a personal thing. I don't like jerky I don't like a roller coaster we have to see an osteopath afterwards and that's what Saul was do you know what I mean it's like just cranking around and all that I didn't like that went on the ghost train yeah scary ghost train is like you get on it's like a southeastern train yeah and then the two guys that are running the train get possessed and then like demons appear and shit wow yeah it's pretty funny what actors no real demons they get demons no no but there's two actors doing it yeah I always find that that's like because you know that they're not real, right?

31:42You know that they're not actually real. Yeah. Yeah. I always find that sometimes.

31:46Romesh Ranganathan:You find it a bit egg? I just find it's a tough one. I know, I know. When you've been in Wonka and Paddington, who gives a fuck about other actors trying to get some work whenever they can? What you're talking about is going on something like Saw or something that's really terrifying. Yeah. And then you've got a guy going, tickets please.

32:03I've been possessed. That is what happens. Yeah, I know. That's exactly what happens. Then you go, oh shit, sorry. And then you feel like you're... Mind the doors, please. Yeah. Yeah. Like that. And then you're like... And then you have to go... I quite enjoyed it.

32:19Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, you enjoy it, but it's not as terrifying as... No, but it's not supposed to. They can make... Listen, that's the thing. It's like sometimes you're one of these people that goes through a thing where a kid's... A family theme park. Yeah. Right? You sit on the train and they do some shit and then the kids go, oh my God, or whatever. And then you get blokes going, didn't find that scary at all. Fucking hell. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let me tell you something. If they wanted to make you shit yourself, they could. There's a place in Blackpool where they fucking do, mate. You go to the Blackpool one, they terrify you.

32:50They chase you around, they grab you. It's like terrifying. Where are you going in Blackpool? There's a Blackpool. I don't know if it's still there. It went in years, like a haunted house thing. They've got Freddy Krueger in there, the girl from Exorcist. Jason, whatever his face is. Yeah. Chainsaw Massacre chases you at the end. he's got a big chain so he chases you through and then you come running out and you're in the middle of the gift shop. Yeah. It's fucking terrifying. Yeah. That one, because you constantly feel,

33:16Romesh Ranganathan:I saw someone punch someone in there. Yeah, well that's the other thing is when we went on the ghost train, they had to tell everybody they will not touch you so don't touch them. Yeah, yeah, but this one they couldn't say that. When I was at Thought Park there's a lot of people on the, yeah, but by the way, that completely takes it out of the, oh, you know, you're going to be really scared, by the way, there's no touching, we ain't going to touch you, I would rather they let it be scary and then some pissed punter at Thought Park who's getting drunk at Thought Park so many people really? mate the day I was there bearing in mind it was like the Friday good Friday yeah people were getting on it really?

33:55Romesh Ranganathan:start at the bank holiday people were on it like a group of lads come up to you you're going to get a photo they all had a pint in each hand wow honestly mate I got smashed with Catherine Ryan at Chessington once did you? we spent the whole day just having vodka and cokes I mean I'm saying it like it's a flex but that's what we did yeah people do it fair enough I mean I wouldn't do it now I mean I certainly wouldn't do it while I'm supervising Charlie and I was driving back nevered dad why did you hit that man on the train by the way here's a question for you we went to Charlie wanted to go to Ben and Jerry's yeah we went there yeah I don't want to make a big thing of it half the ice cream was missing so you go can I have this no I haven't got that anymore can I have this no no that happened a lot it's very strange actually because we had exactly this at Legoland was it Ben and Jerry's yeah yeah okay so now because I'm going to be honest with you I'm going to say it now my experience at Ben and Jerry's in Thorpe Park was the worst thing about my day at Thorpe Park wow okay that they were I don't know what was going on there I don't know if the staff were underpaid half the ice cream is missing yeah right so then eventually when we settled on a flavour they did have yeah we got it with whipped cream yeah he wanted whipped cream on the top came with no whipped cream wow couldn't be arsed to fucking but we'd been charged for it wow went back there they were already too busy with other people so I was like Charlie's gonna take fucking ages just get out of there really it's mad we went to Ben and Jerry I don't know who it is I don't know if it's Ben or Jerry but fix up anyway go on what you're saying we had exactly so we turn up to get the ice creams Grace likes marshmallows on an ice cream there's a jar of marshmallows she loves them and I went is it alright to have some marshmallows on there and he went oh no they're just for display.

35:37I said, what are they not real marshmallows? And he went, yeah, they're real marshmallows but they're just selling for display. I said, but why display something that you're not selling? And he said, I don't know, but we just put them there for, I said, is it just okay in this instance to put some marshmallows on there? And he went, no, I can't do that. That was insane. So,

35:54Romesh Ranganathan:Ben and Jerry's fucking sort yourselves out. It's, because Haagen-Dazs is a better ice cream anyway. Yeah. I'll tell you what else I love him better than that, Haagen-Dazs. hagen daz sounds better than hagen daz hagen daz i fancy a bit of a hagen daz hagen daz is good actually hagen daz hagen daz sounds like the cremiest ice cream on the market hagen daz doesn't by the way we need to be careful because we have you know ben and john john's shitting himself yeah like if absolutely shitting himself yeah we need to be um hagen daz is not better flavor than ben and jerry's though ben and jerry's is incredible tastes better yeah just yeah but i'm saying Haagen-Dazs.

36:29I like the ethics of Haagen-Dazs. In what way? Well, I just think it's like this stuff.

36:32Romesh Ranganathan:They don't have marshmallows at Haagen-Dazs, do they? No. No. But they don't put them on display either. No, that's a fair point. You're not running up a road going, oh, wow, fucking marshmallow. Ben & Jerry's is a big tease, I think, quite a lot of the time. Yeah, fuck you, Ben & Jerry's. Unless we get a read. All right, Tom, take us out of the app. Hello, friend. I am the sun shining down on you. Do you feel my rays? They're for you, but not just for you. They're for everyone. The flowers, the trees, the animals, the insects. The thing about the sun is you let it hit your face and let it slowly work up your tan.

37:11You can be selfish with it, much like other things. Do you know what I'm talking about? I'm glad you do.

37:25truth is sometimes in life it's very easy to think a moment that you live in is just for you summer turning a smile a lamb being born

37:41and you could start then believing in a selfish way that the world that you live in is just for you that your actions, as impactful as they may be to you, don't have a ripple effect that impact others. But alas, dear friend, alas, everything each and every one of us do somehow ripples out to other people. A fart on the train that gives someone a tummy ache. A burp in a lift that gives someone a tummy ache. Stepping on someone's toe that incidentally doesn't seem like it matters, but that person has an ingrained toe now and they're in absolute agony for ages. See, I guess the thing is, as you're walking through life, it's easy just to think you're the solo character in your own story, but your story is linked to many other stories, and in those stories, you don't want to be the bad guy.

38:30So the truth is, every action that you do, make sure there's a kindness behind it, very much like the sun, ripping him down, brightening your day. Obviously, you're not counting skin cancer and stuff, but be good, be kind, and do your best to brighten up people's taste

38:55Romesh Ranganathan:thank you so much for listening to and watching the Wolf and Our Podcast email in wolfoutpod.gmail.com we'll see you very soon for an email special subscribe peace out