Toy Story 5, Celebrity Gladiators & Brain Training

0:00Hello everybody. Welcome to a podcast with Romesh and Tom, who are also known as the wolf and the owl. Hi guys. Hi guys.

0:27how are you Tom very good thank you I'm just going to ask some questions based on how you look how is life in the woods it's beard man Well, like, yeah. It makes you look... Disgusting. No, it doesn't make you look disgusting. A vagrant. I look like I'm the before moment of any Jason Statham film just before he's about to get stuck into what the actual movie's about. You look like an anonymous henchman in one of those films. Collateral damage. Yeah, something like that. But actually, it makes you... It takes the edges off you a little bit. Would you? In what sense? I consider you quite a cuddly man, full stop.

1:06I think this sort of fuller beard makes you cuddlier. Yeah, I think that's true. What's Little G saying about it? Has she noticed the difference? Because kids, it takes a while, doesn't it? Yeah, she's undecided. She doesn't, you know. She made a joke the other day, because obviously it's getting... Sorry, I've got an oat in the lap. It's got a little bit of salt and peppering now. Yeah. And she made a joke that daddy's beard was a bit, probably like Santa Claus's. Which is, yeah. I'm almost all peppered out now, man. Yeah, no, you've got some peppering. You've got some sprinkles. Yeah, yeah. Would you go with a beard again?

1:39I would do, but it would be very grey now. Yeah. Like, it's gone grey quick. Do you know what I mean? Your hair is so... No, I don't dye my hair. Look, can you see... There is grey in it, can you see? Yeah, there's a little bit of grey. But my beard's gone grey quicker than my hair. I'm thinking about going... I actually dabbled with the idea of going completely clean. If I went clean shaven... Oh, man, I don't know. I've seen you clean shaven. I know, we talked about this on the podcast before, but just hear me out. Well, you did it to stop being noticed on holiday, didn't you? I know, yeah. but what I'm saying to you is it will take 15 years off me.

2:10But you ever left 15 years you want back?

2:16But I look so much younger if I shave it off. I think you look good now. I think the moustache has been one of the best things you've done in your life. Thanks very much. I think you've really, I think you've levelled up. I saw small footage of you the other, actually I put it up the King Gary scene where you've got your full beard. Yeah. Yeah. They like it. I think you look better now. I wouldn't have this. This isn't by choice. this is just by work I think you look great I don't like it I've got I got away from the beard the beard had become like a crutch for me for a long time and now I'm back in Beardsville yeah I'm not sure if I like what do they call it the wonder bra of the men yeah yeah I worry as well once you take it off the wonder bra of the men anyway sorry yeah that would surely be like oh no that was in Ladies First like the cock sort of oh Ladies First god I didn't know you were doing plugs no I mean yeah I think that I think that horse the stable is it's still up isn't it Yeah, and I think it's a bit tragic.

3:07I mean, to be fair, that and Wonka are both on Netflix now. Yes. I'm shouting out two films. Actually, let me say that. I got very excited when I saw Wonka's on Netflix. Thank you. I mean, yeah, it's still something I'm living off the back of. As you should. The work's been quiet since. As you should. Has it? No, no, it's not. You've had the busiest year of your life. Talking about films. According to reports. According to reports. Flo? Not Flo. I don't ask Flo about you. Are you joking? I ask her about you all the time. Yeah, but we've got so much stuff to talk about in my career. Yeah, I suppose, yeah, yeah.

3:39No, I don't ask her about you. I actually, I don't ask her about if you're busy. I just go, how's Tom? Yeah. Even though I've spoken to you. I might have spoken to you five minutes before. Yeah, yeah. But I want to know how professional Tom is. Do you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not how professional Tom is. I know that. Yeah. I know how professional you are. How the professional Tom is. Yeah, yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. How close am I to a breakdown? Yeah, because I care about you. I know you do. You're a lovely boy. That's the sound of zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine, and the power to burn body fat.

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5:12Why wait? Ask your doctor. Visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more. Talking about Best Friends and Films, went to the new Toy Story, Toy Story 5. Okay, before you get into this review, sorry to interrupt, I'm very concerned about Toy Story 5. Why? I'll tell you why. I think Toy Story 1, 2, and 3, one of the greatest ever movie trilogies ever in the history of cinema. The perfect story. Perfect ending. When they announced Toy Story 4, I was concerned. Nay, worried. Do you like that? No, I thought you were going to come up with more articulate, more in-depth words than worried.

5:54Nay, befuddled. Pensive? I think you were pretty pensive. Yeah, I was pensive, yeah. Okay, so let me try again. I was worried. Nay, pensive. If we could do you an arsehole shirt this year. I was worried. Because you're not worn the bandit cannon one. If we could do you another arsehole shirt or an England shirt, we should have pensive Pete on the back. No, let's not try and make that a thing. Anyway, because I was worried about four. And four was fine. Oh, God. It was fine. I enjoyed four. Yeah, but was it necessary? I mean what film were any of them necessary I suppose but what I mean is the story was done and then they have like what's his name Sporky was that his name I think it was yeah yeah Sporky that little prick yeah look let me Sporky took up a lot of screen time and he did he actually got two of the funniest moments in that film yeah he's very funny yeah but he's yeah I liked I liked I liked the sinister doll yeah that was great and I like the two here the cuddly toys from the fair yeah and I liked Woody and Bonnie is it Bonnie Little Bo Peep yeah the romance of that I did like that actually Toy Story 4 was great and can I just say it's got the best ending when they're driving away spoiler here but I hope you've seen it spoiler you shouldn't have to give spoiler warnings and when she goes is Woody lost now and Buzz goes by the way it's all in the delivery isn't it yeah I can't do Jesse I can do Buzz no but you went is he she goes is he last now?

7:27Buzz goes no he's found to infinity and then the camera goes to Woody and goes and beyond that is even goosebumps yeah really nice that's a beauty and I enjoyed five look I'm going to say by the way for some of the voice actors it must have been a kick in the teeth there's a few people who've been kicked to the curb a little bit on that who had big parts in the originals who are now essentially essays oh god yeah okay that's who you feel for can you rank them for me? What, who wrecks? Not the actors. No, no, fucking hell. Don't do that. I'm asking you to write... What's his name, that fucking helmet who works for Talk Sport?

8:04Agent Durham? Yeah. I'm not going to become the Agent Durham of fucking Toy Story. Let's not start getting into... I don't want to start a war with Talk Sport now. I'm not starting a war with Talk Sport. I'm just going to start a war with... They're much bigger than us for a start. They're a lot bigger than us. Yeah. But I'm going to say now, it's akin to some sort of weird bullying. Like his reviews of... His critical analysis of football. I don't get it I'm going to tell you now it's the thing that I just constantly I mean I suppose you've been a bit like it with Toy Story 5 and then the end 4 and then going oh actually it was an alright film you've looked for the easy way out how have I looked for the easy way out you've gone you've gone to give Woody an absolute shoo-in and realised actually it's a very poignant beautiful bit of storytelling first of all I'm not giving Woody a shoo-ing alright I eventually said I think 4 don't fucking no you went like you had the first 3 and my favourites ever they're the perfect film they're great And then you're going, Four?

8:56And then actually, by the end of it, you talk yourself into it and realise that actually they've made a great movie again. No, Four has got some redeeming features. It's not as good as any of the first three. Everything's slightly on a scale. I mean, let's not get into Shrek then. Christ. First of all, mate, Toy Story 3, better than 2 and 1. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but so it's going up. Right, yeah. And then Four's not as good as any of the three. See, your trend thing doesn't work. Mate, by the time they get back to 6, boom. They better not do a 6. I wouldn't be surprised. They will fucking rue the date.

9:23they do a six can I say five I nearly cried twice during in the fight I was sitting there with Grace little G every man sitting in cinema had my burger watching the film yeah no every man and I had a lovely ice cream sundae I don't look just watch the people have worked hard to watch the film everyone's eating in there I know I know and look do you know what by the way it's lovely everyone's eating you're nudging someone going hey what have you bloody got there it's like

9:55it's like going to someone's house for tea it's like being at Woody's house I don't like it it's like being at Bonnie's house you put together a film yeah work hard on it right I think a bit of popcorn where you don't have to look down that's what's great about popcorn is you don't have to pay any attention to it at all you're engracing the film you eat a burger like you're driving a car do you? yeah steering it and everything no but you're looking at it the whole time I go right I've got the analysis. This is how big the burger is. And I'm pretty, I'm very good with my bites. I know exactly how many bites a burger will take.

10:27I think sometimes you forget you're saying these things out loud and this is going out on a podcast. I've completed the analysis and I'm very good with my bites. You just said that. I know. What's wrong with that? If I look at a burger and go, okay, this is what I'm going to, I'm going to give it a turn at that point. So I'm not looking, I can go, I can watch a film and eat a burger at the same time. Seemingly. No, I know you're really good at burgers. Didn't you have a whole routine in your last tour about eating a burger and the stick got stuck in the back of your throat? Yeah, that's happened.

10:54And it had to be pulled out. And you weren't even watching a fucking film then, were you? Once bitten, twice shy. By the way, that's one of the first ports of call. If I found a stick in a burger, that would be in a cinema. I'd go, what are you thinking? Get the team together. Let's have a chat. That's insane. It's dark in here. It's all happening while the film's still running. People are absolutely furious. Little Ice Cream Sunday. Okay, so you had a burger. Ice Cream Sunday? Yeah. Okay. would say that that was I've never been I've never been to one of these cinemas so how does it work every man so there's food you get food and have you got a little table in front of you no no no but you've got a little table to the side okay and then how do you order you can order on the app you can order so you're getting your phone out during the film no no no no you order before the show they bring your food in before the film starts sometimes just as the trailers are going on and then you run out and you can grab like a sundae for a dessert so you left the film to go get a sundae yeah I went for a wee and grabbed a couple of sundaes on the way back okay that was about I hope there was some sort of hand washing at some point can I say by the way that's I will say that when I came out Creffin was like Catherine went there's chocolate all over your top and I'd misjudged that was a silly move eating a sundae in the dark I've not got the weather rule to do such a thing no you didn't do your round analysis no no I looked at it and thought no I've got this but what I'd say is a spoon created a lot of sometimes I overheat the spoon there was a little bit of debris I mean I feel very because I don't know if you noticed I was drinking something and I've spilted into my fish.

12:16Yeah, I know. It's a little stain there. Yeah. It's like your microphone chain. No, it was actually, I was drinking a blueberry smoothie. Is this for your influence stuff? You've got a little microphone that you can... This actually is actually a working microphone. I bet you do. Now you're doing your... Just in case. I've got a camera in my little finger. You do your box. Anyway. Anyway. I'm not going to go around. Anyway. I'm not going to fall into the trap of being like... Because I would hate for sort of Rex or someone to see the voice actor of Rex. I'd say Rex, one of my favourite characters, Slinky, their roles have been really reduced Slinky Slinky's for yeah Mr.

12:50Potato Head yeah there's bigger parts that have come in for other characters okay so there's new characters yeah there's a lot a lot of it's about tech yeah I've heard that about tablets and screen time yeah yeah yeah did you feel did you feel as a parent there was any kind of message there for you if there was it went over my head

13:09I uh yeah my favourite I just love the Buzz Buzz and Jesse line the stuff with them that whole arc is just, yeah, it's lovely. Buzz is the most vulnerable Buzz Lightyear we've ever seen. Have you watched Tim Allen talking about it at all? No, no, no. I don't really like to think of them as actors now. I like to think of them as the characters. Okay, well, so Buzz has been doing some press for the film and he said they've had some issues with his voice sounding too old. I actually think Jesse sounds a little older. I didn't really notice it with Buzz. Also, he's an older toy now. Yeah. Because I was watching some footage.

13:53Footage. Kill me. I was watching a video of the kids when they were a bit younger. And obviously their voices are completely different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, I don't know if you've watched any stand-up from a long time, when you first started. I think my voice has changed, even since I've started doing stand-up. I think you've started, it's changed since you've done the play. No. You're placing... this you're playing a long game here this is like one of the longest pranks of all time I think I think you have decided I think you've sat down with Kat and you've gone I'm going to make it's going to take a while for this to fully bed in but I'm going to make it out to Rom that I think this play is going to be life changing for him so I'm going to start I'm going to start off with a phone call I'm going to start off with a phone call on the night and then I'm just going to keep on reinforcing my goal that's one of the most and then one day if he says to me he's thinking about a step about I'm going to say to him you're going to do Hollywood films in the next couple of years I just want to nudge away nudge away nudge away no how dare you you know how much I love you look I stand by everything but I do think your dictation has got better since the play look me in the eye did you do vocal exercises a bit harsh did you do vocal exercises while you were doing that vocal training yeah but I didn't do them for this podcast no no no but no no no but your voice has changed because the algorithm of your voice has changed okay don't don't don't do this it has I think it is I think you said your dictation no no no I don't use your pacing's slightly different as well in what way it used to be it used to be a bit more like snappy I don't think I can hear that voice anymore for you I think you've lost that sort of it's not as nasally I think this is a psychological no I'm not being honest okay okay that's okay oh that was a bit that was a bit no but also I like the thought that you think that me and mine and Catherine's sort of like dynamic is me laying in bed and going, are you going to bed now, Bov?

15:44Yeah, I'm just going to be there in a minute. I've got the next part of the plan to take Ramesh down. Oh, God. Can't you say something sexy? Make love to be, as you tell me, the next stage. I think it is sexy. Yeah, it was... I'd implore you to go with Lisa and watch it, Toy Story 5. There's a couple of romantic bits in there. Oh, lovely. Yeah. I'm sure the families will enjoy Lisa and I. Absolutely blot. Blasting the shit out of each other. Open mouth kissing in the front row. Toy Story 5. Oh, come here, little beau. Is that Ramesh Ranganathan? It doesn't sound like him. Do you hear that? Sounds like breakfast is ready.

16:30Because Quaker's coming in hot with morning nutrition. 100 % whole grain oats. And a good source of fibre. To fuel the rhythm of your morning. And kickstart your day. And that sounds absolutely delicious. Fuel to start whatever's next. Quaker, official sponsor of FIFA World Cup 26. I, oh, let's go! Honey, did you invite the Minions over? Well, you know how we talked about getting Wi-Fi from Xfinity? Yeah. I ordered it this morning. It was online in minutes. Then, they showed up. So they just came over to use the Wi-Fi? For what? better not to know get online in minutes with same day wifi from Xfinity plus lock in your price for five years and see minions and monsters only in theatres Xfinity imagine that restrictions apply not available in all areas learn more at xfinity.com slash same day wifi Lisa and I did go to cinema recently wow where did you go to work?

17:31so it was a Sunday okay beautiful Charlie had Oliver yep so Lisa and I went to drop him off at the theatre nice and then you I'm just qualifying this because it's very difficult to we want to go to cinema because it's really hot yeah and we've got cinema it's got air conditioning yeah yeah of course of course the difficulty is you've got to pick a film that starts and finishes within the time that Charlie will be at the theatre yeah yeah yeah because you can't have him waiting outside London at night so that's tricky yeah we had like three four hours yeah yeah so that rules out most of the films how long is he there for then he's there for four hours they do warm ups and all that shit so I've been a footballer a little bit yeah yeah a little bit it's good it's good for Charlie yeah not the same pay unfortunately but so anyway I'm saying all that to qualify yeah and what it is we went to see go on what did you watch obviously it's got a fit in that slot yeah of course of course so you've just got to you've got to go with what's what's on at that time what's on at that time and you've got to finish before yeah yeah you can't beat yeah he can't beat yeah Yeah.

18:37And, you know, obviously you want it to be a date experience, but it can't always be because you've got to... Anyway, Lisa and I went to watch Masters of the Universe. What? Without any of the kids? Yeah, without any of the kids. I mean, it's kind of quite sweet in this way because it's like retro, right? I used to really like He-Man. Favourite character? Favourite character? Well, that disappointed me. My favourite character is probably Orko, who doesn't actually feature that much in the film. Yeah. That's a shame. Who's your favourite? I'm a classicist. I loved He-Man. Right, okay. Who was this goofy sidekick?

19:05did he have a goofy sidekick? He had a cat. Yeah, it was. Gringer, he became Battle Cat. Yeah. Battle Cat, though, wasn't that the whole thing when you watch the making of the toys from Mattel? That was because they had loads of these tigers left. So before the cartoon got done, they basically were like, we've got loads of these tigers that aren't selling. So Mattel was always in front of the actual cartoon. So they painted this thing green and yellow. Is that true? I mean, that would not surprise me. That is, yeah. It's on Netflix. There's a documentary about it. Not just about Battle Cat. No, but what you realise from watching that film is, first of all, look, I respect anybody that makes a film.

19:42Yeah. It's very hard to get a film onto screen. Yeah. And so anybody that manages to get the financing together. What I'm going to think is, yeah, arguably, that it's not as hard as it probably should be in some situations. Well, I'd say they should have made this more difficult to make. No, the truth is, I think they had a difficult job because they wanted to make a tongue-in-cheek Master of the Universe film. It was always very camp, right? It was always camp. I'm going to say something quite controversial here. I've watched all of the Kevin Smith Master of the Universe cartoon on Netflix. Okay.

20:19And it's brilliant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would thoroughly recommend that, right? If you've even got a passing interest in He-Man. Oh, I've never watched it. It's really good. And they've made it for the people that watched it as kids and girls. So it's an adult show. It's amazing. I think it's unbelievable. This, I don't think they knew what to do with it. So they didn't know how serious to go with it or how tongue-in-cheek to be. So they've sort of fallen between two stools. Yeah, that's the worst thing you can do. And in watching the film, what I realised was is actually He-Man as like an IP is a bit shit.

20:57That is the truth of it. Who's Skeletor? Jared Leto. Jared Leto? Oh, okay. He plays it a bit like Jack Sparrow. Really? Yeah, that kind of. But Skeletor was a bit like... Yeah, Skeletor's kind of straight down the line evil. I mean, He-Man is a prince who raises his sword and becomes kind of hench. Yeah. That's He-Man. Is he hench-hench? He's hench all the time in this. Because in the cartoon, he sort of beefs up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That doesn't happen. It's Idris, isn't it? Idris plays man-at-arms, yes. Wow. Slash Duncan. Well, that's his name. That'll be the only time that Idris ever plays anyone called Duncan, I'd imagine.

21:40I expect so, yeah. Is Idris good? He's always good. He's always cool, right? Yeah, he's good. He's good, yeah. Yeah? Yeah, he's good in it. Yeah, he's good in it. I mean, nobody's particularly bad in it. Is it just a tonally, it's just a little bit? I think they're sort of taking the piss out of He-Man. Yeah. But they're not completely taking the piss out of it. So some of it you've got to believe in the jeopardy of the storyline, and then some of it they're undermining it. Do you know what it reminds me of a lot? The last Thor film. Okay. Love and Thunder. Where they're trying to be funny. It's not as funny as Love and Thunder, but they kind of end up, they just don't do either job particularly.

22:19It's like with Deadpool. Yeah. So Deadpool had the fight, it did it perfectly, right? Yeah, yeah. Both Deadpool movies were undercutting it, breaking the full form. But you've got to, yeah. And the third one. oh shit yeah I went to see that as well that's Dev Paul Mulvaney my brain I swear I've had some kind of episode do you think you have? yeah I think at some point my memory is like boom overnight it happens have you tried any kind of supplements? I'm trying a couple here and there I think you should start doing Sudokus really? yeah I don't even know where to start with a Sudoku Well, first would be pronunciation.

22:59Sudoku. Right. Second. What is it, like numbers and pictures and stuff? There's no pictures.

23:11Sudoku's like a little number puzzle. Right, okay. And you've got to fill in the digits according to like a sequence. I can't remember what the exact rules are. It's like it's got every line and every column has got to have all the digits one to nine in. Okay, I mean, I'm already bamboozled. and I've not even started. Yeah. Well, it's difficult to solve a Sudoku when you don't have one in front of you. I think hypothetically talking about solving a Sudoku. Yeah, but for you, as an ex-maths teacher, that's like taking candy from a baby. That's probably like you are probably quite hot and sexy when you're doing a Sudoku.

23:46I've not done one for ages, but I became really worried about my mental degradation as I got older. Right. So I started downloading brain puzzles and stuff like that. And every now and again I do them. And you feel like it kind of activates something. It makes your brain fizz. Do you think it works? I think it feels like it does. If you keep those neural pathways going, apparently you stop the kind of inevitable. It's not inevitable, actually. You can stop it being inevitable by your actions. But apparently if you don't do those things, even stopping doing mental arithmetic, which we all stopped doing after school, most of us do, then those pathways get shut down.

24:26You know, your brain becomes worse at those things. And then you stop thinking about... So when you're constantly doing that, it actually is meant to be really good for you. I've downloaded SimCity. I've been playing that quite a lot. Yeah, I think that's exactly the same as what I've been talking about. Because there's some sort of problem solving in there. And you've also downloaded a VPN app, haven't you, as well? So you can access Pornhub without having to... I've not fallen into that trap. Okay. That's a grotty old trap, innit? What is? Oh, porn. Porn? You've never used porn? I've used it before, yeah, but I think now, I think, yeah, I think it's akin to being a bit grotty.

24:59Yeah, I agree. I think you have to go off memory, or if you're into art, a drawing that you've done. A drawing? I can imagine you drawing sexy pictures. Skip it! I just... I'm just going... Lacey, just go to the toilet. First of all, I need to give myself some kindling. what have you been drawing on the back of that bag of kettle chips actually I found quite convenient just to draw it on the back of your hand and it's always there for when you need it you can have it as a tattoo after a shower often get a you can have it as a tattoo there couldn't you a little tattoo of a masturbation stimulus yeah porn's grotty yeah it's grotty yeah you've got to be careful at that stuff actually the more you read about it the more you realise that it's not just grotty yeah yeah it's bad it's really bad it's really bad yeah and what it's doing to your yeah go on what's it doing to you what it's doing to your mental health and your yeah outside the darkness and all that horrible stuff that goes on in the making of it yeah it's a very very well look the truth of it is is it stops you desiring your partner as much yeah yeah that's what Lisa tells me Lisa's always watching porn yeah constantly my problem just going to work how long are you going to be no it's really bad and then apparently young men are like learning how to have sex from porn.

26:22Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole thing's a shit show. Yeah. Anyway, that's why I only keep it twice a day. You're watching of porn. Yeah. You like ones with long storylines as well, right? Do you know what? I will watch it for the narrative arc, and then when they start getting a bit frisky, I'll often switch off. Oh, that's a shame. I just wanted to see what happened to Devin. I wanted to see where the conversation went, and then he grabbed a tear.

26:46I thought the way you rubbed your penis when you said that. For people that are only listening, I'll be rubbing my penis the entire time.